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Funny Monologues - Female

Top 5 Funny Monologues for Women (click link to view full content)

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1) Always Ridiculous - You may say what you like, Don Cosme, I can't agree that Teresina is quite as complex as you think she is, and I'm certainly not subject to illusions. I know the World; I'm not an ingenuous child; I say I'm not because, good Lord! no widow has any business to be one. Although I must...

2) Fourteen - I shall go mad! I'll never entertain again--never--never--people ought to know whether they're coming or not--but they accept and regret and regret and accept--they drive me wild. This is my last dinner party--my very last--a fiasco--an utter fiasco! A haphazard crowd--hurried together--when I had planned...

3) An Ideal Husband - Well, Tommy has proposed to me again. Tommy really does nothing but propose to me. He proposed to me last night in the music-room, when I was quite unprotected, as there was an elaborate trio going on. I didn't dare to make the smallest repartee, I need hardly tell you. If I had, it would have...

4) No Smoking - For goodness' sake, don't stop upon our account! Smoke as much as you want to--it doesn't bother me, or my daughter, either. We are used to it. Her poor father, my first husband--who is now in glory--was never without a cigar in his mouth. As he bit off one, it lit it with the...

5) A Woman of No Importance - The Ideal Man! Oh, the Ideal Man should talk to us as if we were goddesses, and treat us as if we were children. He should refuse all our serious requests, and gratify every one of our whims. He should encourage us to have caprices, and forbid us to have missions. He should always...

 

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