It's weird, the way I feel now. I've never felt like this before. I can't put it into words, it's not one of those things that words can correctly show, nor could a gesture with the hands, it's just.....a feeling. It's like everything dream I ever had is slowly being snatched away from me, like....like I'm trapped in some glass case and I'm watching the world pass all around me.

As I lay in my bed, listening to the hum of the ceiling fan, thoughts enter my head, thoughts like "Who am I?", "What will happen to me?", "Will the loneliness ever go away?", "Why am I still scared of childhood fears?" And they repeat themselves all night every night, never to be answered, until I fall asleep. Well. that's all I needed to say, don't tell anyone about this chat, Okay? They don't know this side of me. They just see the mask I put on for them. The mask that doesn't have a worry in the world. My great big smiling mask of lies. I know I'm sad and I know I'm weak, but.....we can't all be strong. For once.....for once I wish someone would hold MY hand and tell ME everything will be fine. that's all I need....love...all I need...

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