|Funny by Christyna Belden|
You don't know me, and you probably never will. No, please don't stop and stare, I don't like it when you get to close. For my entire life people pass me by, and now I am used to it. Anything else would confuse me. Ok, Ok, I actually have a lot of friends. You see, I make people laugh; I'm the 'Funny' guy. Because when people are busy laughing they are not thinking about what is going on in my life, they just think "Man is he funny"... and funny is good.
There are some people that say I'm too funny, that I need to grow up and take life serious. What they don't know is that my life is serious enough without their help. Sure it is easy to look at me and judge me at face value, but they don't know the real me on the inside.
There are others that think I am bad, bad for myself, bad for those around me. I hope not, I never thought of myself as being bad, just funny. Look, I know I'm not anyone's idea of the perfect person but what's wrong with laughing? Isn't there enough misery in life... laugh it up that's what I say.
I am more comfortable when you ignore the real me, the one I never let you see; I keep him hidden where he is safe. Because if I let you meet him, you have the power to hurt him, and that isn't funny. I have been hurt before and I wanted to die, and maybe on the inside I did a little. Do you know what that is like? To find out that the world isn't safe like you thought it was? I found that out early in life. I wanted the world to be a safe place but it didn't work out that way. Do you think I wanted my life like this? Do you think I wanted to lose my innocence? Well it's not a safe world at all. So you are better off to just laugh at it... it's much safer.
Oh I know there are people that don't approve of me and that's ok, because if I don't have your approval you leave me alone and that's the way I want it. I don't like it when you are in my life trying to figure me out. It bothers me and I don't want you getting to close. Close isn't safe, you get to close and then you can see things I don't want you to see; secrets about my life that I have hidden from you. Now I know that you will assume what everyone else does, my secrets are bad things I've done. But what if I told you that my secrets were bad things that happened to me? Would it make a difference? Would you accept me then? But you see I don't want you do accept me because you feel sorry for me, I want you to accept me because you like me, for me.
So let me be funny, it's where I am safe, and if you can't let me be funny then just leave me alone. I am laughing through my tears and that isn't funny.