Acting Resources >> Monologues >> Male Monologues >> A Great Night of Something Monologue

A Great Night of Something Monologue

A Great Night of Something by William Munt
Character: Paul
Gender: Male
Age (range): 24-32
Style: Comedy
Length: 3 minutes

 


Hey! . . . Hey!! Oh my god . . . WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME!

Jesus, I know you're all righteous and shit and don't think you need to even pay attention to me but why don't you humor me here, ok? No no no stay with me don't look away! I want you to look right at me as I say this to you. You're going to pay attention to every word.

First off I bought the weed so I don't know what the problem is. Yes it was a gift, but it was here and you know what? No big deal, I can get more. Second, the fish was old and you never took very good care of him anyway so his days were numbered. And third, the police understood the whole thing and they said it would go on your record as a misdemeaner at the very worst. So yeah, you're a little banged up and yes it will take some time to get the stains out of the couch but isn't worth it man.

You need to look on the bright side of things more. Look, I'm not saying I fucked up, but if i did . . hey come on focus here buddy, don't look over there, there's nothing going on over there . . . if I did fuck up, then you have to understand that there were a whole set of circumstances that were stacked against me. No one would have believed she was underage, there was no sign that said animals not allowed, and Ricky can usually hold his shit a lot better than he did. I mean I've seen him do a lot more and end up less fucked up. So in the end maybe it's just a really good story to tell our grandkids.