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Talk Too Much Monologue

Talk Too Much by Shawn Scouten
Character: Scott
Gender: Male
Age (range): 13-19
Style: Comedy
Length: 3 minutes

 


Background Info: Calm, just got done eating at a restaurant and wanted to rent a game. Things go okay until a guy starts giving his two-cents on the game of baseball.

Monologue: You know what I hate, it's when those people who don't know what they are talking about just keep rambling on about random things. Like the other day, I was talking to some guy while I was waiting in line to rent a game at Film Fest. He started explaining to me the apparent "rules" that he thought baseball players should abide by.

Now, I am a baseball player, so I decided to listen to him and see what he said. He thought we should all use the same bats and gloves so that no player was discriminated or given an unfair advantage due to the equipment that he owns. He also stated that if he played he would make sure that nobody talked or yelled while the pitcher was pitching so that we wouldn't distract him.

Now, me being a player for a local baseball team, I wondered if this guy had actually ever sat down at an actual field and watched a live game. So I asked him. "Sir, have you ever seen a live baseball game." At that point I was furious with that man. He responded with a very ignorant answer that I would rather not repeat. So I left while explaining to him with a certain gesture that I really thought he was a jerk.

The next day, I was at one of my baseball games. We were playing against the Union City Cubs. During the third inning I noticed some commotion in the stands. There was an older man in his late forties, real big, balding, or something like that; arguing to the umpire that he thought that game was unfair. At this point we were winning by seven runs. Then it hit me. That's the guy from the movie store. He was arguing with the umpire so much that they threw him out of the game area. While he was leaving, I overheard him screaming some profanities to the umpires that made me think. This guy must be crazy or just plain stupid. Personally, I like the second choice better.