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Fading Joy Monologue

Fading Joy Monologue by Walter Wykes
Character: Eddie
Gender: Male
Age (range): ?
Style: Comedy
Length: 4 minutes

 

EDDIE: I wonder what we're doing here.

[Pause.]

Perhaps we've come to collect seashells. Although, if that's the case, we haven't been very successful, have we?

[Pause.]

Perhaps we've come to collect seashells, and we've only just arrived! That would explain not only what we're doing here, but the lack of seashells as well.

[Pause.]

Although, if we had come to collect seashells, we would probably have, at the very least, some sort of bag or sack, something to carry the loot so to speak.

[Pause.]

Perhaps we've come to collect seashells, we've only just arrived, and we've forgotten our bag! That would explain not only what we're doing here, but the lack of seashells as well as the absence of a bag.

[Pause.]

Although ... if that were the case, we would probably have returned home once we realized that we'd forgotten our bag.

[Pause.]

Perhaps we haven't come to collect seashells at all! Perhaps we've been put here by someone else, planted in this spot for some unknown purpose. Perhaps we're employees of some sort. Watchmen. Hired guns to frighten away any trespassers that might wander onto this beach.

[Pause.]

Although, if we were watchmen, we'd probably have some sort of weapon, a means of defending oneself, a gun or, at the very least, a large stick.

[Pause.]

Perhaps we're trespassers ourselves! Perhaps we're up to no good! Perhaps we've come here for some dark purpose of our own! To do some evil to the owner of this beach! Of course, that's assuming not only that there is an owner, but that he's done us some injustice ...

[Pause.]

I know! What if the owner is an old friend! Perhaps we'd made arrangements to meet him here only ... only he can't come because he's passed away ... silently ... in the night. Or perhaps he's lost his mind ... simply forgotten we're here ... but we, not knowing, continue to wait, unaware ...

Credits: All inquiries should be directed to the author at: [email protected]