Can't Hardly Wait Monologue
| Can't Hardly Wait by Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont | |
| Character: | William |
| Gender: | Male |
| Age (range): | 18 - 55 |
| Style: | Comedy |
| Length: | 1 minutes |
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William: Mike Dexter is an asshole. For the past decade he has made
a hobby of my pain. Witness exhibit A: My 8th grade science project. A
working rain forest that Mike threw out of a third floor window. It rains
here no more. Witness exhibit B: An eyepatch I wore for a month after Mike
beaned me with a raisin in home EC. My parents took me to a 3D film
festival. I saw no third dimension. And of course, how could I forget the
pudding incident? I know
no one else has. Well, gentlemen, tonight Mike
Dexter will know humiliation. Tonight, Mike Dexter will know ridicule.
Tonight is the night that we fight back. Tonight is our independence
night.
