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My Life as a Dog Monologue

My Life as a Dog by Per Berglund
Character: Ingemar
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy/Drama
Length: 3 minutes


Ingemar: I should have told her everything. Mama loved stories like that. It's not so bad if you think about it. It could have been worse. Just think how that poor guy in Boston ended up...who got a new kidney. He got his name in the papers. He died just the same. And what about Laika, the space dog? They put her in a Sputnik, and sent her into space. They attached wires to her heart and her brain to see how she felt. I dont think she felt so good. She spun around there for five months until her doggy bag was empty. She starved to death.
It's important to have things to compare with. I think about that woman who went to Ethiopia to be a missionary...they beat her to death with clubs--right while she was preaching. You have to compare all the time.
I think about the guy who saw Tarzan in a movie and tried to swing on a high tension wire and fell dead on the spot. You should never think you're Tarzan. I should have told her everything while she still had her strength. Stories from life, Mom really loved those. She collects them. You have to have something to tell her. I like it when she laughs, then she puts her books down. The problem is she reads a lot. It's good to get her to think of something else.
It could have been worse. It's important to remember that. Just think about the train wreck I read about. A train ran into a rail bus at Glycksbo. Six people killed and fourteen injured just as a comparison. You have to watch those rail buses. It could have been me.
It bothers me to think of that poor dog Laika. Terrible sending a dog in a spaceship without enough food. She had to do it for human progress, she didn't ask to go.
In fact, I've been lucky compared to others. You have to compare so you can get a little distance on things. She must have really seen things in perspective. It's important to keep a certain distance. I think about the guy who tried for a world record in jumping buses with a motorcycle. He lined up 31 buses. If he'd left it at 30, maybe he would have survived. Imagine, missing the world record by one bus. The last one. He just touched it with his back wheel.
I think about the guy who walked across the sports arena. He got a javelin right through the chest. He must have been very surprised.