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Night at the Opera Monologue

A Night at the Opera by George S. Kaufman & James Kevin McGuinness
Character: Fiorello
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 2 minutes

 

Fiorello: Friends...how we happened to come to America is a great story, but I no tell that. When we first started out we gotta no idea you would give us this grand reception. We don't deserve it. And when I say we don't deserve it, believe me I know what I'm talking about. So now I tell you how we fly to America. The first time we started we got halfway across, when we run out of gasoline, and we gotta go back. Then I take twice as much gasoline. This time we were just about to land, maybe three feet...when whaddya think? We run outta gasoline again, and back we go halfway over, when whaddya think happened? We forgot the aeroplane. So we gotta sidown and we talk it over. Then I getta the great idea. We no take gasoline, we no take the aeroplane....WE TAKE A STEAMSHIP!! And that my friends is how we fly across the ocean.