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Meet the Parents Monologue

Meet the Parents by Jim Herzfeld & John Hamburg
Character: Greg
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 2 minutes


Greg: Okay, you know what...just take your scrubby little paws off my bag, okay? It's not like I got a bomb in here. It's not like I want to blow up the plane! I just want to stow my bag according to your safety regulations. Hey...hey, if you would just take a second, take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears and maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings. And all I have to do is do what I want to do and all I want to do is hold onto my bag and not listen to you. And the only way I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and try to pry it from my dead lifeless fingers. If you can get it from my kung-fu grip then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, b!*ch.