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Producers Monologue

The Producers by Mel Brooks
Character: Max
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 1 minutes


Max: Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation! How humiliating. Max Bialystock! Max Bialystock! You know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! King of Broadway! Six shows running at once! Lunch at Del Monaco's, $200 suits. You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye!... Look at me now. Look at me now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands of investors begging, pleading to put their money into a Max Bialystock production. Look at my investors now... voila! Hundreds of little old ladies stopping at Max Bialystock's office to grab a last thrill on their way to the cemetery! You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect... one...two... Do the books, do the books.