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Roxanne Monologue

Roxanne by Steve Martin
Character: C.D. Bales
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 2 minutes

 

C.D. Bales: Alright. Alright, twenty something-betters. Uh, here goes. Uh, start with, uh, obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorlogical: Everybody take cover, she's going to BLOW! Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger - like Wyoming. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: Alright, Delmond your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooooh, I wish I was you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters! Humorous: Laugh, and the world laughs with you - sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle! Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Shive and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: Uh, would mind not bobbing your head, the, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody!