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National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Monologue

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation by John Hughes
Character: Clark Griswold
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 1 minutes

 

Clark Griswold: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f#@king Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!