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Donnie Darko Monologue

Donnie Darko by Richard Kelly
Character: Donnie
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Drama
Length: 1 minutes

 

Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a d*ck?