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The Entertainer Monologue

The Entertainer by Nigel Kneale & John Osborne
Character: Archie Rice
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Drama
Length: 2 minutes


Archie Rice: Oh, no, no, no, this is not a gag, no. Honest. It was when I was in Canada. I used to slip over the border sometimes, and one night I heard some negress singing in a bar. If ever I saw any hope or strength in the human race, it was in the face of that old, fat negress getting up to sing about Jesus, or something like that. I never even liked that kind of music. But to see that old bag singing her heart out to the whole world, and you knew somehow in your heart that it didn't matter how much you kicked people, how much you despised them. If they can get up and make a pure, just natural noise like that, there's nothing wrong with them. If I'd done one thing as good as that in my whole life, I'd have been all right. I wish to god I was that old bag. I'd stand up, and shake my great bosom up and down, and lift up my head, and make the most beautiful fuss in the world. Dear god, I would. But I'll never do it. Well, do you think you're going to do it? Well, do you?