My Fair Lady Monologue
| My Fair Lady by Alan Jay Lerner | |
| Character: | Higgins |
| Gender: | Male |
| Age (range): | 18 - 55 |
| Style: | Drama |
| Length: | 2 minutes |
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Higgins: Hmmm. Eliza: you are to stay here for the next six months
learning how to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist shop. If
you're good and do whatever you are told, you shall sleep in a proper
bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to buy chocolates and take rides in
taxis. But if you are naughty and idle you shall sleep in the back kitchen
amongst the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a
broomstick. At the end of six months you shall be taken to Buckingham
Palace in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the King finds out that you
are not a lady, the police will take you to the Tower of London, where
your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls
But if you are not found out, you
shall have a present of seven-and-six to start life with as a lady in a
shop. If you refuse this offer you will be a most ungrateful wicked girl;
and the angels will weep for you. Now are you satisfied, Pickering?
