|Fame by Christopher Gore|
|Age (range):||18 - 55|
Ralph: I was comin home from school one day, as usual. I had a couple of businesses to attend to in the neighborhood. It was January -- it was snowing like crazy. Santa Claus just ripped everybody off. He split to "Toy Town", or "Igloo City", or the North Pole or wherever the hell he goes. So anyway, I was goin home, and I find this note, sayin my two chicks are in church. I look at the note, wondering, "what the hell are my two chicks doin' church -- did somebody die, or somethin?" That was, uh, that was supposed to be a joke. Anyway, I went home, and I dropped a little incence, like I always do, just to unwind a little bit. And I put on the TV set, and there was this guy on the TV. And he was talkin' about Freddie. He said that, he said that Freddie Prinze...put a gun...to his head...and he, and he killed himself. (he starts to break down) It was, it was an accident, man! Sh!t! I mean, he was f#@kin' -- he was very gifted, you know? You always laughed at him, cause he was very f#@kin talented. And sometimes, you know, you didn't even wanna laugh at him, and you laughed at him anyway. But those motherf#@kers -- they had to say that he was "depressed", and he was f#@kin' "suicidal," and that he was "f#@ked up!" I mean, they wanted his f#@kin' ass, man! They wanted his f#@kin' ass! 'Cause he didn't think living was such a heavy trip, you know? I mean, we can't have happy people walkin' around on this planet -- everybody's gotta be so g*dd@mn serious! But everybody's gotta stay in business, so the f#@kin' witch doctors, and the underarm deoderant spray people and the f#@kin plastic surgeons can stay in business. And we can all go pray, to the asshole god up there, man, that f#@ked it up in the first place!