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Beautiful Girls Monologue

Beautiful Girls by Scott Rosenberg
Character: Gina
Gender: Female
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy/Drama
Length: 2 minutes

 

Gina: Yeah, that's nice, right? Well, it doesn't exist, okay? Look at the hair. The hair is long, it's flowing, it's like a river. Well, it's a f#@king weave, okay? And the tits. Please, I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits, by design, are intended to be suckled by babies. Yeah, they're purely functional. These are silcone city. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being so unruly and all. Very vain. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullsh!t. Implants, calogen, plastics, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush sh-these are not real women, alright? They're beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, hi Bob, our cellulite, seem somewhat inadequate. Well, I don't buy it, alright? What you f#@kers, you think is that there's a chance in hell that you'll end up with one of these women you don't give us real women any thing approaching a commitment. It's pathetic. I don't know what you think you're going to do. You're going to end up 80 years old, drooling in some nursing home, and then you'll decide that it's time to settle down, get married, have kids? What are you going to do: find a cheerleader? Charge it, Mitch.