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A Straight Story by John Roach & Mary Sweeney
Character:	Deer Woman
Gender:	Female
Age (range):	18 - 55
Style:	Comedy
Length:	1 minutes

 

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Deer Woman: No you can't help me. No one can help me. I've tried driving with my lights on. I've tried sounding my horn. I scream out the window. I roll the window down and bang on the side of the door, and play Public Enemy real loud. I have prayed to Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Christopher too. What the heck, I've tried everything a person can do. And still, every week, I plow into at least one deer. I have hit thirteen deer in the past seven weeks driving down this road mister. And I have to drive down this road, forty miles back and forth to work. I have to drive to work and I have to drive home. Where do they come from? He's dead. And I love deer.