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Wet Hot American Summer Monologue

Wet Hot American Summer by Michael Showalter & David Wain
Character: Katie
Gender: Female
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 1 minutes

 

Katie: Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and f#@k his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.