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Confession of a Shopaholic Monologue

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
Character: Rebecca
Gender: Female
Age (range): 25
Style: Comedy
Length: 2 minutes


Rebecca: Let's suppose I'm in a clothes shop! I'm in a clothes shop and I've chosen a wonderful cashmere Nicole Farhi coat. Okay? Okay, so imagine I'm standing in the checkout queue, minding my own business, when a sales assistant comes up to me and says, "Why not buy this other coat instead? It's better quality-and I'll throw in a free bottle of perfume." I've got no reason to distrust the sales assistant, so I think, wonderful, and I buy the other coat. But when I get outside, I discover that this other coat isn't Nicole Farhi and isn't real cashmere. I go back in-and the shop won't give me a refund. I was ripped off. And the point is, so were thousands of Flagstaff Life customers. They were persuaded out of their original choice of investment, into a fund which left them £20,000 worse off. Perhaps Flagstaff Life didn't break the law. Perhaps they didn't contravene any regulations. But there's a natural justice in this world, and they didn't just break that, they shattered it. Those customers deserved that windfall. They were loyal, long-standing customers and they deserved it. And if you're honest, Luke Brandon, you know they deserved it.