Roots in Water Monologue
|Roots in Water by Richard Nelson|
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Let me finish. I want you to know just how much we can do for you. First we'll pick a Sunday night to call. Why a Sunday, you ask? (Beat) Because that's when Masterpiece Theater is on, so the chances are the right people will be home. Let's say, the third Sunday of the month, that's before the callers have received their bills from American Express, so they'll feel a little more free with their expressions of support. And that goes double if you let them charge their pledges to their American Express cards -- so you lose a few percent, but believe me, you more than make up for it in the long run. Of course, if we're getting heavy into plastic, I advice we look into Diner's Club as well -- you'd be very surprised how many people don't have both. I never could figure that one out, one could write a dissertation on just that conundrum, April. I'd avoid Mastercharge, I mean MasterCard -- why the hell did they change the name, as if life weren't complicated enough already; in any case, I'd avoid it -- too many women, and they're always saying they have to talk to their husbands who by and large already have either Diner's or American Express, so what's the point, really, you're just duplicating. You follow me?