Under Siege Monologue
|Under Siege by G.L.Horton|
My lover and I wanted to be adults about this, so that no matter what happens, we won't hate each other. We'll stay friends. We talked a lot about our feelings. Well, mostly my feelings. I'm at a crucial point in my career, not ready for marriage, all that. I don't have health insurance, so he offered right away to pay for the abortion. Or even --and this surprised me-- even to pay child support if I decided to go ahead and have it on my own.
If I'd thought about that, I suppose that would have given me a clue that he may have some scruples, or reservations, about what when we were talking came out as more like simply a medical procedure. But our whole attitude seemed to be that I have this serious problem and his duty is to go along with whatever I feel I have to do, and support me. Which he is doing. He's downstairs waiting, he's with me. But I just realized, talking with you, that he may have been hiding feelings of his own, you know? Like it's part of him, too, and there's a certain pain.
But he won't be able to talk to anybody, like I'm talking to you now because it's part of the official paperwork thing. He won't won't be able to get it off his chest. Because we decided to promise each other, and he was really adamant about this, that we wouldn't tell anyone we know. Especially not family. In case we should ever split up.