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Burn After Reading Movie Script

Writer(s) : Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Genres : Comedy, Crime

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                          BURN AFTER READING


                              Written by

                        Joel Coen & Ethan Coen



    FADE IN


1   EXT. EASTERN SEABOARD - AERIALS - DAY                           1

    High in the air----so high we an see the curvature of the
    earth. The eastern seaboard stretches away, flecked with
    clouds.

    As we dissolve in closer the picture bleaches of color.   We
    are looking down at the city of Washington, D.C.

    Dissolve closer still: a black-and-white aerial photograph of
    a neighborhood in suburban D.C. dominated by a sprawling
    building. Computer type quickly bleeps on:

                  C.I.A. Headquarters
                   Langley, Virginia


2   INT. CIA - HALLWAY - DAY                                        2

    We track at floor level, following the well shined shoes of
    someone walking down the well polished hallway.


3   INT. PALMER'S OFFICE - DAY                                      3

    We hear a door opening and a silver-haired man rises behind
    his desk. A nameplate on the desk identifies him as Palmer
    DeBakey Smith.

                          PALMER
              Ozzie.    Sit down.

    Osbourne Cox, entering, is a middle-aged man in a striped
    shirt and bow tie.

                         OSBOURNE
              Palmer.   What's up.

                        PALMER
              You know Peck, and Olson.

    The two men, sitting on chairs facing the desk, nod at
    Osbourne, who is surprised to see them.

                        OSBOURNE
              Peck, yes, hiya. Olson, by
              reputation. Hi, Osbourne Cox.

                        OLSON
              Yeah, hiyah.

                                                       2.


                    OSBOURNE
          Aren't you with...aren't you,
          uh...

Palmer jumps in:

                    PALMER
          Yeah, that's right. Oz, look.
          There's no easy way to say this.
          We're taking you off the Balkans desk.

                      OSBOURNE
          You're----what? Why?

                    PALMER
          In fact we're moving you out of Sigint
          entirely.

                      OSBOURNE
          ...What?    No discussion, just----you're
          out?

                    PALMER
          Well, we're having the discussion now
          Oz. This doesn't have to be
          unpleasant.

                    OSBOURNE
          Palmer, with all due respect----what the
          fuck are you talking about?

A beat.

                    OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
          ... And why is Olson here?

Another uncomfortable beat.

                    PALMER
          ... Look, Ozzie----

                    OSBOURNE
          What the fuck is this?!     Is it my----I
          know it's not my work.

                      PALMER
          Ozzie----

                    OSBOURNE
          I'm a great fucking analyst!     Is it----

                    PALMER
          Oz, things are not going well.      As you
          know.

                                                        3.


                       PECK
             You have a drinking problem.

Stunned silence.         Ozzie turns to look at Peck.

At length:

                       OSBOURNE
             I have a drinking problem.

                       PALMER
             This doesn't have to be unpleasant.
             We found you something in State. It's
             a, uh...

He gropes, uncomfortable.

                       PALMER (CONT'D)
             ... It's a lower clearance level.
             Yes. But we're not, this isn't, we're
             not terminating you.

                       OSBOURNE
                 (quietly)
             This is an assault.

                       PECK
             Come on, Ozzie.

                       OSBOURNE
             This is an assault. I have a drinking
             problem? Fuck you, Peck, you're a
             Mormon!

                           PECK
             Ozzie----

                       OSBOURNE
             Next to you we all have a drinking
             problem! Fuck you guys! Whose ass
             didn't I kiss? Let's be honest!

Palmer nods at Olson.

                       PALMER
             Okay, Olson----

                       OSBOURNE
             Let's be fucking honest...

Osbourne gets to his feet, agitated.

                                                                 4.


                         OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
               ... This is a crucifixion! This is
               political! Don't tell me it's not!

    He storms out the door.

                         OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
               ... I have a drinking problem!

    The door slams.   Palmer Smith looks at Olson.     Olson arches
    an eyebrow.


4   INT. COX KITCHEN - DAY                                            4

    OSBOURNE

    Bow tie loosened, he stands at a kitchen counter.

    His shoulders twist as he does something below frame: we hear
    the crackle of ice cubes wrenching loose from a tray.

    Behind him we see the apartment door opening. Katie, an
    attractive middle-aged woman, enters, taking her key out of
    the door, but stops, surprised to see Osbourne.

                         KATIE
               You're home.

    Osbourne continues making himself a drink.

                         OSBOURNE
               Hang on to your hat, honey.    I have
               some news. I----

                         KATIE
               Did you pick up the cheeses?

                         OSBOURNE
               Huh?

                         KATIE
               Were they ready? I didn't know you
               were coming home this early.

                         OSBOURNE
                   (blank)
               The cheeses.

    Katie rolls her eyes.

                                                       5.


                        KATIE
              I left a message for you to stop at
              Todaro's. The Magruders and the
              Pfarrers are coming over.

                        OSBOURNE
              The Pfarrers? Ugh.    I----what did
              Kathleen say?

                          KATIE
              What?

                        OSBOURNE
              When you left the message?

                          KATIE
              She said.    She would give you.   The
              message.

                        OSBOURNE
              Well she, I don't know, I guess we had
              bigger news today. My day didn't
              revolve arou----

                        KATIE
              So you didn't get the cheeses.

                        OSBOURNE
              Well, since I didn't get the message,
              no, I didn't get the cheeses. But
              hang on to your hat, I----

                        KATIE
              Oh for fuck's sake, Ozzie, you mean I
              have to go out again? All right,
              well, you better get dressed.

                        OSBOURNE
              Honey, we have to talk.

                        KATIE
              Not right now. They'll be here in,
              what, less than an hour.


5   INT. COX LIVING ROOM - NIGHT                            5

    A hand hovers, hesitates.

                        VOICE
              Is this a, uh, goat cheese?

                        OSBOURNE (OFF)
              Chevre, yes, that is a goat cheese.

                                     Pink Revision 8/14/07 6.


Wider shows the cocktail party, meagerly attended but in full
swing. Besides Osbourne and Katie there is Harry Pfarrer
(who has just inquired about the cheese), bearded, forties,
rugged; his wife Sandy; and a shiny-faced young couple, Doug
and Tina Magruder.

Osbourne holds a cocktail tumbler.

                    HARRY
          Because I have lactose reflux.    But I
          can----

                    OSBOURNE
          You're lactose intolerant?

                    HARRY
          Yes, but I can----

                    OSBOURNE
          Or you have acid reflux?    They're two
          different things.

Harry looks at him coldly.

                    HARRY
          I know what they are.

                    OSBOURNE
          Then you misspoke yourself.    So I----

                    HARRY
          Thank you for correcting me.

                    KATIE
          You should try the chevre, Harry.
          It's very good.

                     HARRY
          Yeah.   I can eat goat cheese.

He eats a piece, cupping one hand under his mouth.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... I was just explaining to your
          husband here, I have a condition----

Katie tries to separate the two men by including Doug
Magruder.

                    KATIE
          Harry works with the Marshalls'                       *
          Service.                                              *

                       Pink Revision 8/14/07 6A.


          DOUG MAGRUDER
Ah. I'm on the legislative side, I                 *
work with Senator Hobby.                           *

                                     Pink Revision 8/14/07 7.


                    HARRY                                       *
          Used to work for Treasury, but I                      *
          didn't go over to Homeland Security.                  *
          I'm with the Marshalls.                               *

                    OSBOURNE
          If you want he'll show you his great
          big gun.

                    HARRY
          Very amusing. The gun is actually no
          big deal. Twenty years in the
          marshall's service and I've never
          discharged my weapon.

                    OSBOURNE
          Sounds like something you should be
          telling your psychiatrist.

                     HARRY
          What?   I don't have a psychiatrist.

                    DOUG MAGRUDER
          Boy, I guess my job is pretty
          undramatic. I'm on the legislative
          side. What do you do Mrs. Pfarrer? Do
          you also carry a gun?

Harry laughs.

                    HARRY
          Sandy writes children's books.

                    SANDY
          I write children's books----

                    HARRY
          Oliver The Cat Who...Who..arghh----Who----

Choking on piece of cheese, coughing

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ...Who Lives In The Rotunda.     Excuse
          me.

                      TINA
          Those are wonderful!    My nieces and
          nephews----

                                                              8.


                         HARRY
               Yeah, it's a beloved series. You
               wouldn't believe her fan mail. Unghh.
               Are you sure this is goat cheese?

                         KATIE
               Why don't you let your wife tell them
               about her own books, Harry?

                          HARRY
               I'm sorry----was I----

                         KATIE
               Here, come in the kitchen, help me
               with the crudit�s.


6    INT. COX KITCHEN - NIGHT                                       6

     They enter.

                            HARRY
               Goddamnit.     He knows, doesn't he.

     He looks down at the floor.        He stamps.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... Nice floors.

                         KATIE
               Knows what?

     Harry is looking around the kitchen, taking in the fixtures.
     Absently:

                         HARRY
               About us, he knows about us.          Little
               prick.

                         KATIE
               Don't be an ass, he doesn't know a
               thing.

     Harry is staring down at the linoleum again.

                         HARRY
               What is that, forbo?


A6   EXT. STREET - NIGHT                                            A6

     A car drives by.

                                                             9.


7   INT. HARRY'S CAR - NIGHT                                      7

    Harry driving, his wife next to him.

    A long beat.

    Finally:

                         HARRY
               What a horse's ass.

                         SANDY
               I don't know why we see them.

    Harry shrugs.

                         HARRY
               Well, she's all right.

                         SANDY
               She is a cold, stuck-up bitch.

    Harry opens his mouth to reply, considers, doesn't.

    They drive.


8   INT. COX MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT                               8

    KATIE

    She is staring, in front of a mirror, face covered in cold
    cream, one hand arrested on the way up to daub on more.

                            KATIE
               You quit?!

    Osbourne is buttoning a pajama top.

                            OSBOURNE
               Uh-huh.

                           KATIE
               Well----Thank you for letting me know!

                         OSBOURNE
               I tried to tell you this afternoon.

                         KATIE
               You tried? You tried? And then----
               what, the aphasia kicked in?

                         OSBOURNE
               Our guests came. We----

                                         10.


            KATIE
Why?!    For fuck's sake, Ozzie!

            OSBOURNE
I'm just----I don't know.    I got so
tired.

          KATIE
You're tired.

          OSBOURNE
Tired of swimming against the current.

               KATIE
Uh-huh.

          OSBOURNE
Independent thought is not only not
valued there, they resist it, they
fight it, the bureaucracy is
positively----

          KATIE
Did you get a pension, or severance or
something, or----

          OSBOURNE
I didn't retire you know, I, I quit.
I don't want their benefits.

          KATIE
But I suppose my benefits are all
right, I suppose you can live with
those, is that the idea?

          OSBOURNE
It's not like that's the only way to
make money.

               KATIE
Yes?    Yes?     What're you gonna do?

          OSBOURNE
I'll do some consulting.

          KATIE
Consulting.

          OSBOURNE
Yes, to help while I----I've always
wanted to write.

            KATIE
Write.    Write what.

                                                           11.


                           OSBOURNE
                 I've been thinking about it.    A book,
                 a sort of, sort of memoir.

    Katie stares at him in the mirror.

    A beat.

    She bursts into laughter.


9   EXT. YACHT/AT SEA - DAY                                        9

    THE BRIDGE

    A small yacht. Osbourne stands at the wheel, a light wind in
    his face, as the boat sails under motor power.

    After a beat he moves to the front of the boat.

    An old man sits on a bench on the prow facing out into the
    wind. He has snowy hair and a stern Yankee face. He wears a
    tweed cap. He doesn't much react to Osbourne's approach.

                           OSBOURNE
                 You okay there, Dad?

    The old man remains silent, staring. Osbourne sits next to
    him and idly tucks in the plaid blanket resting over the
    man's knees.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 ... Dad, I left my job at the
                 Agency...

    The old man stares out into the wind.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 ... I, uh... I'm sorry. Dad,
                 government service is not what it was
                 when you were in State. Things are
                 different now. I don't know, maybe
                 it's... it's... the Cold War ending;
                 now it seems like it's all bureaucracy
                 and no mission...

    The old man stares out into the wind.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 ... I'm writing a memoir. I think
                 it's going to be pretty explosive.
                 But I don't think you'll disapprove.
                 I don't think you'll disapprove.
                 Katie has had trouble accepting it.
                           (MORE)

                                                             12.

                          OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
               But... sometimes there's a higher
               patriotism, Dad. So we'll... Yes,
               change is hard. It's hard on Katie.
               But we'll be okay. We'll be okay.
               Life is change. This is good. We
               were all blocked up, Katie and me.
               This is, this is a blessing in
               disguise. I'll go into training, you
               know. Lay off the sauce. Like you
               did. You managed to do it. Finally.
               And then I can concentrate on, you
               know. New beginning. And this'll all
               have been for the best. Don't you
               think Dad?

     The old man stares out into the wind.

     Osbourne sniffles.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
               ... Cold.

     He taps the old man on the knee and rises.

                         OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
               ... I guess we should head back.


10   EXT. PIER - DAY                                                10

     LONG SHOT THRU THE WINDSHIELD OF A CAR

     The sailboat docked at the end of a marina. Osbourne is
     pushing the old man in a wheel chair down the pier away from
     the boat.

                         A MAN'S VOICE
               We've seen this...


11   INT. LAW FIRM - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY                          11

     THE MAN

     White hair, bushy eyebrows, a florid face. He is in a law-
     book lined conference room. He wears an expensive suit,
     suspenders, a white shirt with blue collar and cuffs. He is
     Bogus Terikhian.

                          TERIKHIAN
               ... I know this kind of man.    We've
               seen this.

                                                        13.


Wider on the conference room shows that Katie Cox sits at the
table, along with Terikhian, another lawyer, and an
assistant.

                       TERIKHIAN (CONT'D)
             ... Mrs. Cox, you can't let this man
             take advantage of you. And he will.
             He will.

                         KATIE
             Yes. This is my fear. He's trying----
             he says----he's trying to pull himself
             together, but...

                       TERIKHIAN
             Look, sure, I----I'm obliged to tell you
             you should try to salvage things. And
             you should. People turn themselves
             around. Not unheard-of. But. You----
             you haven't broached the possibility
             of divorce yet?

                         KATIE
             No.

                       TERIKHIAN
             Well that's good.   Because first you
             should get all his financials. Before
             he's forewarned. Because here's a
             man, here's a man, practiced in
             deceit, this is almost, you could say
             it's his job, practiced at hiding
             things, and there is no reason, it is
             not improper, there is no reason for
             you not to get a picture of the
             household finances. Paper files,
             computer files, whatever----this is your
             prerogative. You can be a spy too,
             madam. Do this before you put him on
             alert. Before the turtle can draw in
             his head and his, uh...

He waggles his hands, groping for the word.

                         TERIKHIAN (CONT'D)
             ... Feet.

He shrugs.

                       TERIKHIAN (CONT'D)
             ... And hopefully everything will work
             out. He will reform. But! If not:
             forewarned is forearmed.

                                                              14.


12   INT. COX HOUSE - DAY                                            12

     Osbourne is splayed on an easy chair, wearing a bathrobe over
     pyjamas. He stares at the ceiling, motionless, arms out-
     flung, like Marat in his bathtub.

     A long still beat.   A clock ticks.

     Abruptly Osbourne raises one hand to speak into a
     microcassette recorder.

                         OSBOURNE
               We were young and committed and there
               was nothing we couldn't do. We
               thought of the Agency less as... less
               as...

     The thought, such as it was, peters out.   Osbourne rises and
     wanders around the room, glassy-eyed.

     He suddenly raises the microcassette again.

                         OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
               ... The principles of George Kennan----a
               personal hero of mine----were what
               animated us. In fact they were what
               had originally inspired me to enter
               government service. Like the State
               Department's China Hands of yore, or,
               in a different forum, in a different
               venue, in a different medium, in,
               um... "Murrow's Boys," the fabled----in
               a different----

     He suddenly stops, head cocked, listening.

     Faintly, a ringing phone.


13   INT. COX BASEMENT STAIRWAY - DAY                                13

     At the cut Osbourne is thundering down a steep carpeted
     stairway. He inclines his head to clear the ceiling that
     juts over the bottom half of the stairwell.

     The phone is louder here.


14   INT. COX BASEMENT - DAY                                         14

     A semi-finished basement with cheap paneling and a low
     dropped ceiling of water-stained Johnson-Armstrong tile. The
     ringing phone is on a cheap government-surplus desk. The
     answering machine, with Osbourne's voice, picks up:

                                                                 15.


                          MACHINE
                You have reached The Cox Group...

     Osbourne, robe flapping, shuffles hurriedly in his slippered
     feet toward the phone.

                          MACHINE (CONT'D)
                ... We can't answer your call right
                now. Please leave a----

                          OSBOURNE
                    (heavy breathing)
                Hello.

     He eases into the chair, having swiped up the phone.    A
     listening beat.

                          OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                ... Yes?... Oh, no... No, call her
                number... No, upstairs...No she's not,
                but leave it on her machine.


15   INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY - LATER                                     15

     We are looking over Osbourne's shoulder----he is still in his
     robe----as he sits hunched on an ottoman, looking at a daytime
     game show.

     A few beats of the show.

     Roaring laughter from the studio audience.     Mild chuckle from
     Osbourne in the foreground.


16   INT LIVING ROOM - DAY - STILL LATER                                16

     Ticking clock. Osbourne paces with the microcassette
     recorder. He raises it with a thought, draws a breath, and
     then stops, and looks off.

     The ticking grandfather clock: ornate hands on an ornate
     clock face Two or three minutes to five.

     Osbourne stares for a long beat.


17   INT. COX KITCHEN - DAY                                             17

     OSBOURNE

     Shoulders twisting as we hear ice clattering out of a tray.

     He pours coke sizzling onto the ice.

                                                              16.


     He pauses for a long beat.

     He takes a bottle of rum out of a cabinet.

     He pours some into a hatch-marked shot glass.

     He looks at it. The amber liquid tops the hatch mark.    He
     conscientiously pours the overage back, murmuring:

                            OSBOURNE
               Single...

     He dumps the shot into the Coke.


18   EXT. SAILBOAT - DUSK                                            18

     As before, the boat, docked at the end of the marina pier, is
     seen in long shot through the windshield of a car.

     Closer on the boat. As water laps against pilings and the
     boat gently bobs and creaks, we hear, muffled, the sounds of
     a couple having sex. When it builds to climax we cut:


19   INT. SAILBOAT - DUSK                                            19

     Minutes later. We hold on a door for a quiet beat, then we
     hear the gurgle of water, and then the door opens. Harry
     Pfarrer emerges from the small bathroom, buckling his belt.

     In the bedroom which he emerges into Katie Cox is just
     finishing dressing.

     Harry looks at his watch.

                         HARRY
               I should try to get a run in.


20   INT. COX HOUSE - DUSK                                           20

     Katie is letting herself in.

                            KATIE
               Ozzie!

     Quiet.


21   INT. KITCHEN - DUSK                                             21

     Katie enters and sees a note on the counter paperweighted by
     a plate of used lime wedges:

                                                                  17.



               Honey,

               At Fenninger's.     Reunion committee
               dinner.
               See you later.


22   EXT. POTOMAC BRIDGE - DUSK                                         22

     Long-lens, hand-held, point-of-view seeming: Harry Pfarrer is
     jogging in his Treasury sweats.

     Closer on him.   Brow furrows.   He spins, jogs backwards,
     looking.

     His point-of-view: nothing unusual; traffic on the bridge, no
     pedestrians particularly close.

     Harry, mildly puzzled, slows and stops.    He turns again.

     Point-of-view up the bridge: empty.

     Harry starts jogging again.


23   INT. COX BASEMENT - NIGHT                                          23

     We are tracking toward the desk in the corner, at which Katie
     sits. She cracks open a CD case and loads the CD into
     Osbourne's computer. A suspense drone builds as we track in.

     Katie starts typing, then suddenly stops. She holds still,
     listening for noises in the house. Nothing. She resumes
     typing.

     We hear male voices beginning to swell in song. The voices
     continue after the suspense drone snaps off, at the cut to:


24   INT. FENNINGER'S - NIGHT                                           24

     A musty steakhouse. On the walls are hunting-scene prints
     and steel engravings of English country houses.

     A placard resting on a chair outside the Georgian Room:
     CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTY.

     From inside the room, male voices:

                         VOICES
               Tune every heart and every voice...

                                                             18.


25   INT. FENNINGER'S - GEORGIAN ROOM - NIGHT                        25

     A dozen middle-aged men around a long table, each holding
     high a glass.

                          MEN
                ... Bid every care withdraw.    Let all
                with one accord rejoice...

     The men are sweaty, tie-loosened, dinner-stuffed and boozy.

                          MEN (CONT'D)
                ... In praise of Old Nassau...

     Close on Osbourne as a rotund middle-aged classmate fills his
     glass to brimming. The two sway unsteadily with the music..

                          MEN (CONT'D)
                ... In praise of Old Nassau my boys,
                Hoo-rah, hoo-rah, hoorah!

     All swing their glasses side-to-side in rhythm:

                          MEN (CONT'D)
                ... Her sons... shall give... while
                they... shall live...

     Glasses are thrust high with a ringing finish:

                          MEN (CONT'D)
                ... In praise of Old Nassau!


26   INT. EXAM ROOM - DAY                                            26

     A WOMAN'S ASS

     Bare.   Pale.   Middle-aged.

     Someone with a marker is drawing on the flesh to illustrate:

                          DOCTOR (OFF)
                We take all the chicken fat off your
                buttocks, here... and here... And the
                upper arms. And a little off your
                tummy...

     The camera is arcing around a standing, naked, middle-aged
     woman, to reveal the doctor sitting on a stool in the
     examining room, facing her. He reaches forward again with
     the marker.

                                                        19.


                    DOCTOR (OFF) (CONT'D)
          ...And we do breast augmentation with
          a tiny incision here... and here.

                      PATIENT (OFF)
          Uh-huh.    And what about the thigh
          area?

                    DOCTOR
          Well we can do liposuction there as
          well, but that area will respond to
          exercise. Buttocks and upper arms
          begin to store more fat when you get
          up around forty, the body just tells
          it to go there, but the thighs will
          respond to toning exercises.

                    PATIENT
          Uh-huh. I know, I can work out on my
          arms til the cows come home, but...

                    DOCTOR
          Uh-huh. And of course there are also
          genetic factors.

                    PATIENT
          The Litzkes are big.

                    DOCTOR
          Uh-huh, well everything's----

                    PATIENT
          My mom had an ass that could pull a
          bus.

                      DOCTOR
          Wow.    Well that's a predispo----

                    PATIENT
          Father's side too, although Dad tends
          to carry his weight in front of him.

                      DOCTOR
          Uh-huh.

                    PATIENT
          In the gut area. Derriere, not so
          much.

                      DOCTOR
          Okay.

The continuing track around is also booming up to reveal the
face of the patient, Linda Litzke.

                                                                20.


                           LINDA
                 And what about the face, you know, the
                 window to the soul.

                           DOCTOR
                 Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Very well put. Well
                 your eyes are one of your best
                 features. But we can do something
                 about the incipient crow's feet.

                           LINDA
                 Baby crow's feet. Little chickling's
                 feet. I mean chicks. Chickie chickie
                 chickie.

                           DOCTOR
                 Ha-ha, yes, again, well put. You have
                 a way with words. We cut here...

     He marks.

                           DOCTOR (CONT'D)
                 ... And we pull the skin tight, like
                 stretching the skin over a drum. Not
                 too tight, though. We don't want that
                 "worked-on" look. You need sufficient
                 slack for the face to remain
                 expressive.

                           LINDA
                 Yeah, I don't wanna look like Boris
                 Karloff.

                           DOCTOR
                 Uh-huh! Heh-heh, so you don't want a
                 sex change!

                           LINDA
                 No, I'm all woman!


27   INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY                                       27

     Doctor and patient, now dressed, sit on either side of a
     desk.

                           DOCTOR
                 So Linda, what we're talking about
                 here is four different procedures.
                     (ticks them off)
                 The liposuction... The rhinoplasty...
                 The facial tuck, which I would
                 strongly recommend over the chemical
                 peel----

                                                             21.


                         LINDA
               Yeah, I don't want to get anything
               burned off.

                         DOCTOR
               And why should you. With that lovely
               skin. And lastly, the breast
               augmentation. Now we can also do
               something about the vaccine scar----I
               don't know if you wear sleeveless
               dresses much----

                         LINDA
               Not with these ham hocks!

                         DOCTOR
               Yes, well once they're nice and
               svelte, post-op, you----

                           LINDA
               Well I don't know. Is the vaccine
               thing----can you counsel me on this? I
               don't know, is it unsightly? I see it
               a lot, a bunch of people have it.

                         DOCTOR
               Absolutely! Some women don't mind it
               at all! Personal taste!


28   INT. HARDBODIES - DAY                                           28

     Linda Litzke, in a Hardbodies polo shirt with "Linda"
     stitched on the breast, leans out of her semi-enclosed office
     on the gym floor.

                         LINDA
               Chad!


29   INT. HARDBODIES - GYM FLOOR - DAY                               29

     Chad Feldheimer, trainer, fortyish and well-muscled, has a
     gym patron up on a table and is helping him stretch a leg
     back.

                         PATRON
               Ow!

                         CHAD
               I'm sorry, was that too much?

                                                                22.


                         PATRON
               I felt a straining... a tightness in
               the... in the front of my ass...

                         CHAD
               Well you're pretty tight.     You have to
               feel it or----

                         LINDA
                   (on the public address)
               Chad Feldheimer. Office.

                         CHAD
               I'll be back in a minute.     We'll work
               on opening those hips.


30   INT. LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY                                        30

     Linda is tapping at her computer as Chad enters.

                         LINDA
               I got a batch from BeWithMeDC dot com.

     Chad perches on the desk, chewing gum as he gazes at the
     screen.

                          CHAD
               Oh wow.   Any good?

                         LINDA
               I don't know yet, just looking... How
               do you open this?

                         CHAD
               Click on, uh... yeah...

                            LINDA
               Oh my god!

                            CHAD
               What?

                         LINDA
               Oh my God, what a loser!

     She clicks.

                            LINDA (CONT'D)
               ... Loser!

     She clicks.   Chad is laughing.   Linda scowls.

                                           23.


          LINDA (CONT'D)
... Loser!... What is this! They
should call this Mr. Saggy dot com.

             CHAD
Cripes.

             LINDA
Loser!

          CHAD
Did you have to send a picture?

          LINDA
No, only guys do. I submitted a
verbal profile, turn-ons, turn-offs,
et cetera. I'm really looking for
someone with a sense of humor.

            CHAD
That guy----wait----that guy wasn't bad.

             LINDA
Him?

          CHAD
No, before.

             LINDA
Him?

            CHAD
Yeah.    He uh, he might not be a loser.

          LINDA
How can you tell?

          CHAD
That's a Brioni suit.

             LINDA
Oh yeah?

             CHAD
Shit yeah.

          LINDA
    (dubious)
Does he look like he has a sense of
humor?

          CHAD
He looks like his optometrist has a
sense of humor.

                                                             24.


     Linda slaps his arm.

                         CHAD (CONT'D)
               ... Huh-huh-huh. What does he do?

                         LINDA
               State Department.

                         CHAD
               That's cool.

                         LINDA
               His hair is... what is that?

                            CHAD
               Plugs.


31   INT. GYM - NEXT DAY                                             31

     Linda is showing someone around the floor.

                         LINDA
               This is the cardio area. A lot of
               machines here so that, believe me,
               there's never a wait. What you're
               seeing now, this is our busiest time,
               and there's still a couple of open
               treadmills I see, three Stairmasters----
               I call it the Butt-Blaster----couple of
               LifeCycles----Hi, Chad.

     Chad is working with a medicine ball and a heavy young woman.

                            CHAD
               Hi Linda.     Did you call that guy?

                         LINDA
               Not yet! Chad is one of our trainers.
               I've just started internet dating and
               I got my first look at the, uh...

                         CUSTOMER
               What service?

                         LINDA
               BeWithMeDC dot com?

                            CUSTOMER
               Nice.

                         LINDA
               Have you used them?

                                                             25.


                           CUSTOMER
               No----two friends did and they're both
               hooked up. With really special guys.

                         LINDA
               That's fantastic.


32   INT. LINDA'S OFFICE - LATER                                   32

     Linda is leaning forward at her desk, phone wedged between
     ear and shoulder, one hand up at her forehead.

     After a long still beat:

                            LINDA
               Yes!

     Another still beat.

                         LINDA (CONT'D)
               ... English!

     Beat.

                            LINDA (CONT'D)
               ... Agent!

     Beat.

                            LINDA DRIVING
               ... Agent!     Agent!

     Beat.

                         LINDA
               ... Yes, hi, this is Linda Litzke,
               should I give you my account number?
               You have it up? Okay. I was informed
               that I needed pre-approval for these
               surgeries, and then... Yes, it was
               denied.

     Listening, then:

                         LINDA (CONT'D)
               ...No, those are four different
               operations... It's very complicated;
               I'm reinventing myself, it's a whole
               new look so it isn't just one thing,
               however, it's all approved by my
               doctor... But----madam! This is not----my
               job involves, you know, public
               interface! This is not...

                                                              26.


     Her jaw sets.   She controls her fury.   Quieter:

                         LINDA (CONT'D)
               ... Yes I do understand. Could I
               speak to your supervisor please?


33   INT. TED'S OFFICE/LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY - MINUTES LATER         33

     We are on a long lens point-of-view, from several cubicles
     over, of Linda, now slumped at her desk, head in her arms.
     We faintly hear her sobbing.

     Reverse shows Ted Treffon, middle-aged, balding, the soulful
     manager of Hardbodies. He looks at Linda, puzzled and a
     little alarmed. He tenses as if to rise but doesn't, and
     hovers uncomfortably, unsure of whether to intrude.


34   EXT. WASHINGTON MALL - DAY                                     34

     Linda walks down the promenade dressed in a smart pant suit.

     Her moving POV passes over a couple in conversation, an old
     woman feeding the birds, a man in a business suit reading a
     newspaper.

     She passes the man and turns around. He has looked up from
     the paper and is staring at her. He wears aviator-shaped
     glasses with clear plastic rims. He may have hair plugs.

                            LINDA
               Alan?

                         MAN (ALAN)
               Are you, uh... Linda?


35   EXT. CIRCLE THEATRE - DUSK                                     35

     A poster advertises Totally Stoked! with Dermot Mulroney and
     Claire Danes.


36   INT. THEATRE - NIGHT                                           36

     On the screen, Dermot Mulroney, dressed in a tuxedo, cranes
     his head to look steeply up and off.

     Linda sits next to Alan in the half-empty theatre, nervously
     watching the screen.

                                                               27.


                         DERMOT (OFF)
               First you tell me that you can't
               commit, then you----WOULD YOU GET DOWN
               FROM THERE!

     Linda laughs raucously, then catches herself and looks at
     Alan.


37   INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT                                           37

     The couple sit across from each other at a small table. They
     pick at their food.


38   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT/BEDROOM - NIGHT                            38

     The couple are making love in the dark room on a frilly
     comforter. Alan, still wearing his glasses, wheezes
     asthmatically.


39   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT/BEDROOM - LATER                            39

     Alan is snoring. After a long beat Linda gets up and puts on
     a robe. She bends down near the bed and picks something up
     out of Alan's trousers.


40   INT. LINDA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT                                  40

     She sits into a chair near the window in the dark room and
     opens Alan's wallet. A Discover card, driver's license, a
     condom. A photograph of Alan holding a large bluefish.

     She unfolds a piece of notepaper.    Written in a feminine hand
     in pencil:

     Please pick up:
         Plunge
         Honey Nut Cheerios.

                         LINDA
               Oh for Pete's sake!

     She catches herself, looks around.

     The snoring, off, continues.

     She looks out the window.

     The lights of the freeway twinkle.

                                                                 28.


41   INT. YACHT - NIGHT                                                41

     We are in the bedroom.   The boat rides gently at anchor.

     Harry has an arm around Katie, in bed.   Both stare at a point
     in space.

     After a beat that is silent except for the faint sloshing of
     water against hull:

                           HARRY
               ... and then, you know, you grow up.
               I guess that's what's happened with
               me. You just... people change. We
               married when I was, what, in my mid-
               twenties. A kid. We were kids.
               Twenties. You think it's forever.
               Then, you know, you're older----you
               begin to feel your mortality, you
               start to think, well, there's no more
               time for dishonesty. Subterfuge. You
               go, I'm not that person. The choices
               you made, you can't, just through
               inertia----

                         KATIE
               I'm thinking of divorcing Ozzie.

     Harry doesn't react----a careful, studied non-reaction.   After
     more sloshing:

                         HARRY
               ... I'm just thinking, Whoa. I mean,
               frankly, I'm thinking, Whoa. I, I, I
               guess that's what I should be thinking
               about too. With Sandy.

                         KATIE
               That's what you were just saying.

                         HARRY
               Yes! Absolutely! And you should be
               getting rid of that bozo.  No
               question about that. I agree.

                         KATIE
               So if I were divorced----

                         HARRY
               Well yes, if you were uh, you know,
               yes. Yes, I should settle things.
               With Sandy. Because of you and me.
               It just takes, courage, you know. To
               inflict that pain. Scary stuff.
                         (MORE)

                                                             29.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               Scary stuff. You're a brave lady.
               Well, of course, it would be easier
               for you.

                         KATIE
               Why's that? I don't see that.

                         HARRY
                   (chuckling)
               Well you know, because he's such a
               dope.
                   (sobers)
               But Sandy, she's... a good lady. A
               very special lady.

                         KATIE
               She's a cold, stuck-up bitch.

                         HARRY
               Well that's... a little----

                          KATIE
               You and I should sort things out.
               I've told you that this is not just
               frivolity.

                         HARRY
               No, that's understood.   You've been
               very straight.

                         KATIE
               I thought I was loud and clear.

                         HARRY
               Absolutely. Not just fun and games.

     Awkward beat.   The sloshing of waves.   Harry nods.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... Absolutely.


42   INT. HOME DEPOT - DAY                                         42

     Harry Pfarrer pulls a length of metal tubing from a shelf.
     He sights down it, examines the gauge, hefts it.

     He slides it back in and pulls a length, wider gauge, from
     the shelf below.

                                                              30.


43   EXT. HOME DEPOT - DAY                                             43

     Long lens, hand-held, point-of-view seeming: Harry is pushing
     a red shopping cart through the parking lot. Standing in the
     cart are lengths of metal tubing that he steadies with one
     hand as he pushes.


44   INT. LINDA LITZKE'S CUBICLE - DAY                                 44

     Linda has a hand cupped to her forehead and the phone pressed
     to one ear.

                         LINDA
               English!... Agent!... Agent!...

     After a short beat she hits a button on the phone console and
     cradles the handset. From the speaker we hear:

                           RECORDED VOICE
               ----important to us. Please stay on the
               line for the next available agent.

     Music.

     Linda listens for a moment, then abruptly lifts the handset
     and slams it back down.


45   INT. HARDBODIES - TED'S CUBICLE - DAY                             45

     TRACKING IN ON TED'S CUBICLE

     Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of Hardbodies, stands with
     one hand on the back of his chair----which Chad occupies----and
     one hand on the desktop, looking over Chad's shoulder at a
     computer screen that Chad is scrolling down. Standing behind
     both men is a short Mexican Indian man, also in a Hardbodies
     uniform.

                         CHAD
               Holy shit...

                         LINDA
               Ted, can I talk to you about our
               Mickey Mouse health plan?

     Ted continues to stare at the computer screen in mounting
     alarm. He responds absently to Linda:

                         TED
               Uh-huh... Hang on...

                                  Yellow Revision 8/24/07 31.


                    CHAD
          This is some heavy shit.

                    LINDA
          Is that my date list?

                    CHAD
          No... fuck...

                    LINDA
          You know, I'm trying to reinvent
          myself, and these procedures, which
          are so incredibly not cheap, this
          Micky Mouse HMO is saying they're not,
          they're... What is this?

She is looking at the screen.

                    CHAD
          I can't believe this... This is
          like... intelligence shit.

                    TED
          I am not comfortable with this.

                    LINDA
          What is it?

                    CHAD
          This is, like, I can't believe this
          shit I'm seeing.

                    TED
          Manolo found it.

                    CHAD
          Manolo found this, like, CD just lying
          in a locker. Locker floor. Ladies'
          locker room.

                    MANOLO
          Jus lie-een there.

                    CHAD
          And I'm like, whoa, someone's music or
          what, so I come in here and it's these
          files, man.

                    TED
          I am not comfortable with this.                       *

                                 Yellow Revision 8/24/07 32.


                    CHAD
          Like it's talking about SigInt, and
          signals and shit. Which, Signals
          means code, you know.

                    MANOLO
          It was jus lie-een there.

                    CHAD
          Talking about like, section heads
          here, and their names and shit. And
          then these other files are just, like,
          numbers. Arrayed. Numbers and dates
          and numbers... And numbers. I think                  *
          that's the shit, man. The raw
          intelligence.

                    TED
          I am not touching this.    I want this
          out of here.

                    CHAD
          Wul... Throw it out?

                    LINDA
          You can't do that! You should put a
          note up in the ladies' locker room.

                    CHAD
          Put a note up? Highly classified shit
          found, Signals intelligence shit, CIA
          shit? Hello! Did you lose your
          secret CIA shit? I don't think so.

                    TED
          Look, you figure it out, I am not
          comfortable with this. I want this                   *
          out of Hardbodies...

As he backs out of the office:

                    TED (CONT'D)
          ... We're running a gym here!

Chad swivels around.

                     CHAD
          Look,   Manolo...

He zippers his lip.

                    CHAD (CONT'D)
          ...you didn't find this.

                                                                 33.


                         MANOLO
               I found it on the floor there.

                         CHAD
               Yeah, I know, but�

                          MANOLO
               Right there on the floor there.      Lie-
               een there.


46   INT. HARRY'S CAR - DAY                                            46

     CLOSE ON A REAR-VIEW MIRROR

     A dark blue Ford Taurus, three or four car lengths back on a
     quiet Chevy Chase street.

     Harry Pfarrer glances at the rear view mirror. Behind him we
     see the steel pipe from Home Depot laying across the top of
     the back seat of the station wagon.


47   EXT. CHEVY CHASE HOUSE - DAY                                      47

     Harry is just getting out of the wagon which is parked in the
     driveway of the suburban house.


48   INT. HOUSE - DAY                                                  48

     Harry is struggling through the      front door with the length
     of pipe.

     We hear his wife call down from upstairs:

                            SANDY
               Harry?      Is that you?

                         HARRY
               Yeah, yeah, it's me.

     He takes the pipe, opens the staircase door to the cellar,
     sets the pipe inside on the upper stair, and closes the door
     behind him.


49   INT. CELLAR - NIGHT                                               49

     Harry is at a workbench welding a length of trimmed pipe to a
     short piece of hardware clamped in a table vise.

     His home shop is in a caged-off section of the basement.
     There is also haphazard storage.

                                      Yellow Revision 8/24/07 34.


     One shelf holds stacked boxes labeled with magic marker:
     "Oliver in the Oval Office," "Yea and Nay for Oliver,"
     "Point of Order, Oliver!"

     Harry loosens the vise and takes out the piece of hardware.
     He drops it, a small bearing-mounted clip, onto a length of
     pipe held horizontal in another vise. He experimentally
     slides the clip along the length of pipe: it slides smoothly
     back and forth, nicely balanced.


50   INT. MONKEY DAVE'S - NIGHT                                     50

     Linda Litzke and Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of
     Hardbodies, are at a table in the yuppie bar Monkey Dave's.
     To a waitress:

                         LINDA
               Absolut Saketini, please?

                         TED
               Just a Tab.

                         LINDA
               You know, it wouldn't cover all of it,
               but if I got some advance on my salary
               I could at least get the surgery ball
               rolling.

                         TED
               Whoa! There's a payroll company, you
               know. They don't just advance people
               money. They just don't do that. I
               mean, sure, I could say, Yes, I                           *
               authorize it, but that's not going to
               mean anything to them.

                         LINDA
               Well why do they have us on a
               cockamamie health plan? I need these
               surgeries, Ted!

                         TED
               You're a beautiful woman!   You don't
               need�

                         LINDA
               Ted, I have gone just as far as I can
               go with this body! I----

                         TED
               I think it's a very beautiful----it's
               not a phoney-baloney Hollywood body----

                                    Yellow Revision 8/24/07 35.


                    LINDA
          That's right, Ted, I would be laughed
          out of Hollywood. I have very limited
          breasts and a gi-normous ass and I
          have this gut that swings back and
          forth in front a me like a shopping
          cart with a bent wheel.

                    TED
          Oh come on!

                    LINDA
          I am trying to get back in
          circulation. I have appetites and so
          forth, and, uh----

                    TED
          Well there's a lot of guys who'd like
          you just the way you are.

                      LINDA
          Yeah----losers!

                    TED
          Well, I don't know. Am I a loser?
          Lemme tell you something. I wasn't
          always a manager at Hardbodies. I,
          um...
                                                                  *

He looks at her, appraising.   He decides.

                    TED (CONT'D)                                  *
          Let me show you something.

He reaches into his wallet.    He pulls out a picture:

A snapshot of a soulful man in a dark robe and a high caftan
standing on a curb in front of a large stone building.

Linda shrieks:

                      LINDA
          Omygod----is that you?!

Ted nods gravely.

                    TED
          Fourteen years, a Greek Orthodox
          priest. Congregation in Chevy Chase.

                                                            36.


                    LINDA
          Well jeez, that's a good job!

                    TED
          Mm-hm.

                    LINDA
          What happened?

                    TED
          Well...

He looks at the picture for a sad beat, then shrugs.   He
stuffs it back in his wallet.

                    TED (CONT'D)
          ... It's a long story. Anyway, lotta
          ways I'm happier now. My point is...
          my point is... it's a journey.

                    LINDA
          Well that's my point! I don't want to
          stay where I am! I want to find
          someone to share my journey!

                    TED
          Well, sometimes, you know, you don't
          look in your own back yard, you're
          never gonna see----

                    LINDA
          That's right! That's why I've started
          this internet dating!

                    TED
          Uh-huh, but I'm saying, maybe you
          don't have to, you know... to----

                    LINDA
          Look Ted, I know you can't authorize
          an advance on my salary but you can
          put in a request, can't you?

                    TED
          It's not going to do any good, Linda.

                    LINDA
          Ted, have you ever heard of the power
          of positive thinking?

                                                              37.


51   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT                                  51

     It is night. Linda sleeps in a darkened bedroom under the
     frilly comforter.   We hear a distant banging. Finally the
     banging stops and a moment later the telephone rings.

     Linda stirs, wakes and reaches for the bedside phone.

                            LINDA
               Hurrow----

     She removes an appliance from her mouth.

                         LINDA (CONT'D)
               Hello?... Where are you?... Okay.
               Just a second.


52   INT. APARTMENT STAIRWELL - NIGHT                                52

     We hear a door being buzzed open. At the top of the staircase
     an apartment door opens and Linda appears in a robe.

     Her POV down the steep staircase: Chad Feldheimer is walking
     up towards the landing dressed in a black lycra bicycle
     unitard with lime green flames. He holds a bike wheel in one
     hand and a plastic squirt bottle in the other.

     He looks up, foreshortened.

                            CHAD
               Omygod.


53   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER                          53

     Chad enters with his bicycle wheel and squirt bottle.   Linda
     shuts the door behind him.

                            CHAD
               Omygod.

                         LINDA
               Chad, you know what time it is?

                         CHAD
               Uh-huh. So, like, I couldn't tell you
               this on your totally unsecure phone,
               but I know who the guy is.

     He leans his wheel against the wall and sits on a low chair
     that brings his knees up near his chin. He looks smugly at
     Linda.

                                                   38.


                       LINDA
           The guy?

                     CHAD
           The guy, the secret guy.

                     LINDA
           Is he high up?

A beat.   Chad stares.

                     CHAD
           Um. I don't know if he's high up.
           Probably. I mean, I know his name,
           not like his rank.

                     LINDA
           What is it?

                       CHAD
           Osbourne.    Cox.

                     LINDA
           Never heard of him.

                     CHAD
           Oh, like you're so plugged in to the
           intelligence community.

                     LINDA
           I'm just saying, to the layman----

                     CHAD
           Well I think like the quality of the
           intelligence dictates how high up he
           is.

                       LINDA
           Uh-huh.

                     CHAD
           Not what we know.

                       LINDA
           Uh-huh.

                     CHAD
           And I also got his----do you have any
           water? I gotta hydrate.

                     LINDA
           I have tap water

                                                        39.


                    CHAD
          Are you kidding?

                    LINDA
          How did you find out who he is?

                     CHAD
          Sources.

                    LINDA
          What do you mean sources?

                    CHAD
          Do you have like Gatorade? Anything
          besides, like, Maryland swamp water?

He rises and heads for the kitchen.

                    CHAD (CONT'D)
          ... You know how far this is from my
          place?

                    LINDA
          How do you know his name?

                    CHAD
          I have this geek friend, Ernie
          Gallegos? He does computer stuff,
          hooks up people's computers and
          programs their VCRs'n shit? So he
          examines the files and he pulls off
          the digital watermark that tells what
          computer they were created on.
          Fucking child's play for Ernie.

                     LINDA
          Uh-huh.

Chad opens the refrigerator and starts rummaging.

                    CHAD
          I also have his telephone number.
          That was a little harder.

                     LINDA
          Omygod!

Chad straightens up with a bottle of orange juice which he
rolls across his forehead.

                    CHAD
          Shall we give him a tinkle?

                                           Yellow Revision 8/24/07 40.


                         LINDA
               Omygod, why?

                         CHAD
               Because he's gonna wanna know that his
               shit is secure. You know, he's gonna
               be relieved. He might even be so
               relieved he gives us a reward----I would
               be very fucking surprised if he did
               not.

                           LINDA
               Oh, wow.

                         CHAD
               Very surprised. Like, you know, the                            *
               Good Samaritan tax. Which is not even
               a tax, really, since it's voluntary.


54   INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER                                        54

     Chad is looking at a crumpled piece of notepaper and punching
     numbers into a wall phone. In the background we see Linda
     watching him from the living room couch.

     A beat.

     We hear the call ring through.

     The click of the connection being made, and Chad silently
     gestures, with an upward sweep of his hand, for Linda to pick
     up her extension.

                           CHAD
               Hello?


55   INT. OSBOURNE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT                                     55

     He has the phone pressed groggily to his ear.

                           OSBOURNE
               Hello?

                           CHAD
               Osbourne?    Osbourne Cox?

                             OSBOURNE
               Yes----uh----Who is this?

                         CHAD
               Are you... uh... Osbourne Cox?

                                                    41.


                    OSBOURNE
          Who is this? What time is it?     Who
          are you?

                    CHAD
          I'm a Good Samaritan. I'm sorry I'm
          calling at such an hour, but I thought
          you might be worried.

                       OSBOURNE
          Worried?

                    CHAD
          About the security.     Of your shit.

A beat.

                    OSBOURNE
          What on earth are you talking about?
          Who am I speaking to?

Katie stirs in bed.

                       KATIE
          Who is it?

                    CHAD
          Your files----your documents. I know
          these documents are sensitive. But I
          am perfectly happy to return to you
          your sensitive shit. At a time of
          your choosing.

                    OSBOURNE
          What documents? What are you talking
          about?

                    CHAD
          ... Osbourne Cox?

                    OSBOURNE
              (explosive)
          Yes! Yes, I'm Osbourne Cox!     Who the
          fuck�

                    CHAD
          Settle down, Osbourne.

                    KATIE
          Who is that?

                    OSBOURNE
          What documents are you talking about?

                       Yellow Revision 8/24/07 42.


           CHAD
    (referring to his
     notepaper)
OK. "The bureau chief in Belgrade we                 *
all called Slovak the Butcher. He had
   very little report with his staff,
and his despatches were marked by----

            OSBOURNE
Ra-por, very little rapport with his
staff, you fucking moron!    How did
you get----

          CHAD
Don't blow a gasket, Osbourne.    I
have----

          OSBOURNE
How did you get a hold of that!

          CHAD
It's not important where I----

          OSBOURNE
You're in way over your fucking head!
Who the fuck are you? You have no
idea what you're doing!

          CHAD
Oh! Why so uptight, Osbourne Cox?
I'm just a Good Samaritan, like, a
traveler on the road who has happened
upon----

            LINDA
We're going to return it, we just
thought----

          CHAD
Linda, I'll do it!

          OSBOURNE
Who's this?!

          KATIE
Ozzie, what is going on.

          LINDA
Like a Good Samaritan tax----

          OSBOURNE
Who the fuck----

                                                       43.


                    CHAD
          You know, this is a major
          inconvenience for us and we thought,
          you know, a reward----

                    OSBOURNE
          So it's money! So it's money!

                    CHAD
          Well, yeah, uh... why not? I mean,
          this is not----am I out of line here?

                    OSBOURNE
          All right, you two clowns listen to me
          very very carefully. I don't know who
          you are, but I warn you most
          emphatically----

                    LINDA
          You warn us? You warn us? You know
          what, Mr., Mr. Intelligence? We warn
          you! We'll call you back with our
          demands!

She slams down the phone.

                     CHAD
          Hello?   We just----

                         OSBOURNE
          Who, who----

                      LINDA
          Chad!    Don't play his game!

                     OSBOURNE
          Hello!   Hello!

                    CHAD
              (into the phone as he
               hangs it up)
          Sorry.

He walks back into the living room shaking his head.

                    CHAD (CONT'D)
          ... Geeze...

                    LINDA
          The nerve of that guy!

                    CHAD
          ... I am very fucking surprised he did
          not give us the reward.

                                                              44.


56   THE COX BEDROOM - NIGHT                                        56

     Osbourne sits on the edge of his bed in the dark room,
     shaking his head.

                         KATIE
               What in God's name is going on?

                           OSBOURNE
               There's some clown----a couple of clowns
               ----somehow got a hold of my memoir----

                            KATIE
               Your what?

                          OSBOURNE
               Stole it or----I have no idea how they
               got it----

                            KATIE
               Your what?

                         OSBOURNE
               My memoir, the book   I'm writing.

                         KATIE
               Why in God's name would they think
               that's worth anything.

                          OSBOURNE
               Well they----I... I've no idea how they
               got it.


57   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT                                         57

     Chad paces, shaking his head.

                          CHAD
               But it doesn't sound like he's gonna
               play ball.

                         LINDA
               Oh, he'll play ball! We just have to
               let him know who's boss.

                         CHAD
               Well, that's----he sounds very senior.
               I think this is some senior guy who
               has screwed the pooch, big-time.

                                               Blue Revision 8/1/07 45.


                            LINDA
                  Yeah, that's why we got him, you know,
                  we've caught him with his thing caught
                  in a big fat wringer.

                              CHAD
                  Yuh-huh.

                            LINDA
                  And us in the driver's seat. This is
                  our opportunity, like, you don't get
                  many of these. You slip on the ice
                  outside of, you know, a fancy
                  restaurant.

                              CHAD
                  Yuh-huh.

                            LINDA
                  Or this happens.

                              CHAD
                  Right.

                            LINDA
                  And right now this has happened.

                             CHAD
                  Yup.   It sure has.

                             LINDA
                  This could put a big dent in my
                  surgeries.

                              CHAD
                  Big time.


58   INT. PFARRER CELLAR - DAWN                                           58 *

     SANDY PFARRER

     We are dutch on her as she leans down a staircase, one hand
     on its rail, calling to be heard over the buzz of a bandsaw:

                              SANDY
                  Honey!

     No answer.    The bandsaw whines higher, cutting through steel.
     Louder:

                              SANDY (CONT'D)
                  Honey!

                                            Blue Revision 8/1/07 46.


     The whine hums down.

                            HARRY'S VOICE
               Huh?

                         SANDY
               My cab is here, I'm off.      Mystery man.

     Her point-of-view: down the stairs, oddly cropped by the
     angles of dropped ceiling and walls, we see Harry's lower
     body as he throws a drape over his project. He emerges from
     the shop cage and closes its mesh door and padlocks it.

                         SANDY (CONT'D)
               ... What is that thing?

                            HARRY
               Oh baby.     Top secret.

     He comes up the stairs, pushing goggles onto his forehead.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... You're gonna knock 'em dead.

     At the top of the stairs he kisses her.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... How many cities?

                         SANDY
               Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles,
               Chicago.

     He picks up her bag and they go out.

                         HARRY
               Why do they always have you do
               Seattle. Not a big market.

                         SANDY
               I don't know, lots of independent
               bookstores. Rains all day, what are
               people gonna do.

                         HARRY
               I can think of a couple of things.

                         SANDY
               You can think of one thing.


59   EXT. PFARRER HOUSE - DAWN                                         59 *

     They are walking to a black Town Car idling curbside.

                                        Pink Revision 8/14/07 47.


                         SANDY
               It better be the Peninsula. The money
               I make for them. Are you gonna be
               okay?

                         HARRY
               I'll be sad. But I'll be okay.

                         SANDY
               Not too sad..

                         HARRY
               Just the right amount.

     He kisses her.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... I am crazy about you, baby.

     He slams the car door after her. As the car pulls out his
     look travels with it and then lingers up the street, caught
     on:

     A Ford Taurus, parked, dark.

     Harry hesitates, then starts walking up the street towards
     the parked car.

     When he has taken several steps the ignition is turned in the
     car. A shape briefly visible in the driver's seat is lost
     when the headlights flash on. The car pulls out from the
     curb into a U-turn and drives away.

     Harry watches the tail lights recede.


60   INT. LAW FIRM - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY                           60

     CLOSE ON A THUMB AND FINGER

     Twisting a gold cufflink like a worry bead. Wider shows the
     attorney Bogus Terikhian at a conference table in a book-
     lined room.

                         BOGUS
               Tony Bennett, Toni Morrison and Zoe                        *
               Caldwell. It was marvelous. First                          *
               time I've attended the Kennedy Honors.
               Jane Alexander is a client. Old                            *
               friend of Zoe's. What an actress.                          *
               Anyway...

     He leans forward and presses a button on his phone console.

                                          Pink Revision 8/14/07 48.


                         BOGUS (CONT'D)
               ... Connie, could you bring in your
               copy of the Cox financials?


61   INT. LAW FIRM - OUTER OFFICE - DAY                               61

     The secretary rummages through a gym bag that has the
     Hardbodies logo. There are gym clothes among the odds and
     ends. She picks up her handset.

                         SECRETARY
               I thought I had it here on a disk----I
               don't know where the disk is. I'm
               sorry, I'll have to run another off my
               hard drive.


62   INT. LAW FIRM - INNER OFFICE - DAY                               62

     Bogus is leaning back, expansive.

                         BOGUS
               Tony sang "The Best Is Yet To Come."                        *
               Mr. Bennett.

     He projects toward the phone:

                         BOGUS (CONT'D)
               Yeah, okay.

     BACK TO KATIE:

                         BOGUS (CONT'D)
               So. We've drawn up the papers and are
               prepared to execute service on
               Osbourne if you so elect, Mrs. Cox.
               Our missiles are pointed at his
               capital, so to speak, and we await
               only your word. But, be mindful,
               madam: once these missiles are
               launched, there is no recalling them.
               We are not picking daisies. We are
               declaring war, and hostilities will
               then impose their own logic. I think
               you understand what I'm saying.

                         KATIE
               It'll piss Ozzie off.

                         BOGUS
               Mm-hm.

                                                             49.


                         KATIE
               Mr. Terikhian, I have given my husband
               second chances galore. There are
               limits to my charity.

                         BOGUS
               Of course. But since we are at the
               point of no return, I always urge my
               clients at this juncture to give it
               one more day of reflection.

                          KATIE
               Yes.   Understood.


63   EXT. WASHINGTON MALL - DAY                                      63

     Linda walks down the promenade, dressed in a smart pant suit.

     Her moving POV passes over people relaxing in the park: a
     mother with a stroller, kids running with a ball. Her look
     settles on the bench that formerly held her first date, now
     occupied by:

     A man spitting sunflower seeds.   Harry Pfarrer.

     The point-of-view arcs past him as Linda gives him the once-
     over.

     She doubles back.

                           LINDA
               Harry?    I'm Linda.


64   INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT                                         64

     Harry and Linda eat with appetite as they talk.

                         HARRY
               Yeah, I did the whole bodyguard thing
               for years. My guy was in State, the
               Secretary in fact, so of course I
               traveled a lot.

     Harry talks into his sleeve-cuff as if into a radio
     transmitter:

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ..."Ironside is leaving the building."
               We called him Iron Ass.

     Linda cackles.

                                     Pink Revision 8/14/07 50.


                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Not to his face, of course.     Not
          to his ass, either!

Linda cackles again; Harry smiles.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Ah, he was okay. But, Personal
          Protection----that's a young man's game.

                     LINDA
          You wanna try these dumplings? They're                 *
          delicious.

                       HARRY
          Sure...

He reaches but hesitates.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Does it have shellfood in it?                      *

                       LINDA
          Shellfood?                                             *

                    HARRY
          `Cause I have this sensitivity. I, uh,                 *
          go into anaphylactic shock. My larynx                  *
          swells up, closes off the----Ah what the               *
          hell.                                                  *

He spears a dumpling:                                            *

                    HARRY (CONT'D)                               *
          Live dangerously----                                   *

Through a mouthful:                                              *

                    HARRY (CONT'D)                               *
          ... Can't always wear a condom.

Linda cackles.

                    LINDA
          That's right! Not always!

                    HARRY
          Anyway, my job's more administrative                   *
          now, not so much PP. Personal                          *
          Protection. Though I still carry the
          gun.

                       LINDA
          Omygod,     really!

                       Pink Revision 8/14/07 50A.


          HARRY
    (still chewing, he shrugs)
It's no big deal. Never discharged
it, twenty years service. Security
blanket now. I don't think about it----
course, you're not supposed to think
about it;
          (MORE)

                                        Pink Revision 8/14/07 51.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               in a situation where your man is
               threatened the training kicks in.
               Muscle memory. Reflex----Those are
               outrageous.

     He stabs another dumpling off Linda's plate.                        *

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... Wanna swap?

                          LINDA
               No way!


65   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT                                 65

     Linda swings the door open, leading Harry in.

     Harry talks as he looks appraisingly around the apartment.

                           HARRY
               ----but there was just a hell of a lot
               of political infighting, petty, petty,
               shit, and then basically the old man
               stepped on Goldberger's throat.
               Nice...

     He is evaluating the place.   He stamps on the floor.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... Wide-plank pine?

                          LINDA
               I guess.

     Harry is taking off his coat.

                         HARRY
               Listen, full disclosure here Linda...

     He holds up both hands and waggles the fingers.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... I'm not wearing a wedding ring but
               I am married. Took the ring off,
               what, eighteen months ago when we
               agreed to separate. Agreed to
               disagree. That's about the only thing
               we ever agreed on.

     Linda cackles.

                                                               52.


                         LINDA
               Thanks for telling me.     I really do
               appreciate it, Harry.

                         HARRY
               Well, full transparency, the only way
               to----

     As Linda passes he grabs and embraces her.    Linda reacts to
     his gun in the shoulder holster:

                         LINDA
               That's not gonna go off, is it?

                         HARRY
               Well let's go in the other room and
               find out!   Grrr!


66   INT. TED'S OFFICE - DAY                                         66

     TED TREFFON

     The soulful manager of Hardbodies.

                         TED
               That's great. That sounds...
               exciting.

     Wider shows Linda in the manager's cubicle.

                         LINDA
               He's very very communicative. Very
               accessible. He has a sense of humor.
               And he agrees one hundred percent
               about my surgeries.

                             TED
               Well, I----

                           LINDA
               He thinks my ass could be smaller. I
               mean, not in a mean way, he kidded
               about it----he's got a terrific sense of
               humor.

                         TED
               That's good, but... but... Linda, what
               do you really know about this guy?

                         LINDA
               I told you, he's in the Treasury
               Department and he----

                                                                53.


                            TED
               But he could be one of these people
               who, you know, who cruises the
               internet----

                         LINDA
               Yeah, so am I!

     A rattling knock.   Linda looks over:

     Chad Feldheimer, in his trainer's polo shirt, is knocking on
     the cubicle window. He gestures urgently for her to come
     out.


67   EXT. SERVICE ALLEY - DAY                                         67

     Behind Hardbodies. Linda and Chad emerge from the health
     club through a heavy back door.

                         LINDA
               No, you can't go like that!     You gotta
               wear a suit.

                           CHAD
               Well----you mean----go home and change?

                            LINDA
               Yeah!

                         CHAD
               I was gonna ride my bike.     Do I have
               time?


68   INT. DOWNTOWN RESTAURANT - DAY                                   68

     Harry and Katie are at a downtown D.C. restaurant in the
     middle of lunch.

                           KATIE
               ----which to my mind is all the more
               reason to lower the boom on Ozzie.

                            HARRY
               Mm.

                            KATIE
               That's it?     "Mm"?

                         HARRY
               I'm just... wondering if it's the
               right time.

                                                         54.


                    KATIE
          Of course it's the right time.   Why
          wouldn't it be the right time.   Does
          it threaten you?

                    HARRY
          No no. No, you and me are rock solid.
          That's why I, uh, I think we can
          afford to be big. We can think about
          Ozzie, whether maybe we should let him
          get himself together a little before
          you hammer him with, um----

                    KATIE
          Is that how you see me, "hammering"
          him?

                    HARRY
          Of course not, but----

                    KATIE
          Weren't those your words?

                         HARRY
          Yes, but----

                    KATIE
          I don't "hammer."

                      HARRY
          No, uh-huh, of course not. But, I'm
          saying----I'm no friend of the guy. You
          know that. I think he's an arrogant
          little geek. But for Christ sakes,
          you and me have all the time in the
          world, and he just lost his job----

                    KATIE
          He didn't lose it, he quit.

                    HARRY
          Yeah. Most of the people who "quit"
          in this town were fired.

Katie looks at Harry, reckoning.   He returns her look with an
open one.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... I feel sorry for the guy. And
          he'll be easier to deal with when he
          doesn't feel... cornered.

                                                                 55.


                         KATIE
               Maybe. As long as we're talking about
               Ozzie and not you.

                         HARRY
               Of course we're talking about Ozzie.
               Baby, I stand by you whatever you do.
               I adore you.

     She nods, thinking, still gazing at him.   Her cell phone
     chirps and she reaches into her purse.

                         KATIE
               Please get the check.

     She flips open the phone.

                         KATIE (CONT'D)
               ...Yes?... Yes?... Is there blood in
               his stool?...Yes, soon.

     She looks at her watch, rises.

                         KATIE (CONT'D)
               It's after two. I have to get back to
               work.

     Harry rises to kiss her.

                         HARRY
               I love you so much.


69   INT./EXT. COX'S CAR/STREET - DAY                                  69

     CLOSE ON A WATCH

     Showing 2:20.

     Wider shows Osbourne Cox, sitting in a car parked on a
     downtown street, consulting his watch.

     He looks up, irritated, and glances around.   His look is
     arrested by:

     The side-view mirror. It shows a man approaching on bicycle
     along the sidewalk wearing a suit and a bike helmet. The man
     dismounts several paces behind the parked car, locks his bike
     to a fence separating the sidewalk from a small park, and
     takes off his helmet. It is Chad.

     He walks along the sidewalk to the car, opens the passenger
     door and sits in with his bike helmet clamped under one arm.

                                                      56.


                    CHAD
          Osbourne Cox?

                    OSBOURNE
          And you, I take it, are "Mr. Black"?

                      CHAD
          Yes I am.    You have the money?

                    OSBOURNE
          The fifty-thousand dollars.

                    CHAD
          That's what was agreed upon, Osbourne
          Cox.

                    OSBOURNE
          All right. Let me explain something
          to you, "Mr. Black." You know who I
          am; I know who you are.

                     CHAD
              (smug)
          Perhaps. But appearances can be----
          deceptive.

                    OSBOURNE
          Yeah. What you're engaged in is
          blackmail, which is a felony. That's
          for starters.

                    CHAD
          Appearances can be----deceptive.   I am a
          mere Good Samar----

                    OSBOURNE
          Secondly, the unauthorized
          dissemination of classified material
          is a federal crime. If you ever
          carried out your proposed threat, you
          would experience such a shitstorm of
          consequences, my friend, it would make
          your empty little head spin faster
          than your Schwinn bicycle over there.

Chad chuckles.

                    CHAD
          You think that's a Schwinn?

                    OSBOURNE
          Now give me the fucking floppy or the
          CD or whatever the fuck you have it
          on, and I will----

                                                                57.


                         CHAD
               As soon as you give me the money,
               dickwad! I'm not----Huhgf!

     Osbourne has punched him in the nose.

     Chad stares at him, stunned.

     His nose starts bleeding.

                         CHAD (CONT'D)
               ... You fuck!

                         OSBOURNE
               Give it to me, fuck!

                            CHAD
               You fuck!     You fucker!

     He opens the car door and gets out, hand to his nose.

     He slams the door.


70   EXT. STREET/COX'S CAR - DAY                                      70

     As Chad goes over to his bike Osbourne leans across the front
     seat and cranks down the passenger window to bellow:

                         OSBOURNE
               I know who you are, fucker!

     He pulls out.

                         CHAD
               You're the fucker!

     There is the honk of a car horn----not Osbourne's.

     Chad looks, surprised.    Linda is pulling up.   Her passenger
     window rolls down.

                         LINDA
               Where's the money?

                            CHAD
               He hit me!

                         LINDA
               Where's the money?!

                         CHAD
               He didn't give it to me�

                                                                     58.


                               LINDA
                   Oh, for----Get in!

      Chad does.

                             CHAD
                   That fucker!


71    INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. STREET - DAY                                   71

      He is thrown back against the seat as Linda floors it.
      Recovering:

                               CHAD
                   ... Hey----what're you----

      Linda is coming up fast behind Osbourne's car in traffic.

                               CHAD (CONT'D)
                   Oh shit!

      The crash of impact----ramming Osbourne.


72    INT. OSBOURNE'S CAR/EXT. STREET - DAY                                72

      He recoils from the impact.

                             OSBOURNE
                   Holy fucking----you fucking morons!


A72   HIS CAR-TO-CAR POV                                                   A72

      The follow car is speeding up again----but it doesn't hit him.
      It swerves out, screeching, to pass, and Linda angrily flips
      him the finger as she speeds by.


73    INT. LINDA'S CAR - DAY                                               73

                             LINDA
                   That'll give him something to think
                   about.

      Chad is chuckling.      Suddenly he sobers.

                             CHAD
                   Wait, wait! We gotta go back!

      Linda's jaw is set.      The car is ripping through traffic.

                                        Yellow Revision 8/24/07 59.


                          LINDA
                I knew this would happen.

                          CHAD
                We gotta go back!     My bike!

                          LINDA
                It's on to Plan B.

                          CHAD
                It's just a Kryptonite lock----you can
                open those fuckers with a Bic pen!

                          LINDA
                Heavens sakes----

                          CHAD
                Where we going?     My bike!

                          LINDA
                Some people!

      A skidding turn sends his weight against the door, and the
      car lurches to a halt.

                          CHAD
                ... What is this?

                          LINDA
                Russian Embassy.


A73   INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - DAY                     A73

      CHAD'S POV THRU WINDSHIELD

      The hulking embassy building.


74    INT. EMBASSY RECEPTION - DAY                                    74

      Linda stands before a reception desk. Chad is just behind
      her, his shirt front spotted with blood and his head tipped
      back with one hand pressing a hankie to his nose. His bike
      helmet is clamped under his other arm.

                          LINDA
                I told Mr. Krapkin I might be stopping                      *
                by?

                          CHAD
                Is there a men's room?

                                                               60.


75   INT. MR. KRAPOTKIN'S OFFICE - DAY                               75

     Linda and Chad sit in, Chad with a moistened hand-towel now
     pressed to his nose.

     Behind the desk sits a sixtyish Russian functionary with the
     beetle-browed sphynx-like look of the Brezhnev-era
     bureaucrat. This is Krapotkin.

                           KRAPOTKIN
               ----Not exactly. I am assistant
               cultural attach�. The organs of state
               security are not allowed to function
               within the borders of your country.

                         LINDA
               ... The organs of state security?

                         KRAPOTKIN
               Yes.

                         LINDA
               But if I had, oh, say, secrets of a
               highly, um, secrets that would
               interest the organs of state
               security...

     She trails off, nodding encouragingly at Krapotkin.
     Krapotkin looks blankly back.

     A long beat.

                         KRAPOTKIN
               Yes.

     She rummages in her handbag and pulls out the diskette. She
     holds it aloft, waggling it for Krapotkin.

     Krapotkin stares.

     Linda sets the diskette on the table and slides it across.

                         LINDA
               ... This is just a taste.

     After a beat of looking at the proffered diskette, Krapotkin
     leans forward to take it. Linda smiles. Krapotkin turns the
     diskette over a couple of times, looks sadly up.

                         KRAPOTKIN
               May I ask the source of this...

     Linda slowly shakes her head, eyes locked on Krapotkin.

                                      Yellow Revision 8/24/07 61.


                      LINDA
            No you may not.

                      CHAD
            Very high up.

                          LINDA
            Chad!

                      CHAD
            I'm just saying he's high up!

A large drop of blood has gathered at the tip of Chad's nose.
It now drops onto his shirt.

Silence.

Finally:

                      KRAPOTKIN
            PC or Meck?

                          LINDA
            Um.    PC.                                              *

                      KRAPOTKIN
            Could you wait please?

He rises.

                          LINDA
            Well----

She looks anxiously at her watch.

                      LINDA (CONT'D)
            ... I have a date----

Krapotkin leaves.

When the door closes behind him:

                          LINDA (CONT'D)                            *
            The fish.      Has bitten.                              *

                          CHAD                                      *
            What?      Oh, yeah.   Yeah, he seems cool.

A long beat.      Linda looks at her watch.

Chad sighs.

                      CHAD (CONT'D)
            ... That fucker really hit me.

                                                                62.


76   INT. MR. KRAPOTKIN'S OFFICE - DAY - MANY MINUTES LATER             76

     Chad is slumped back with his head tilted back.     Linda looks
     at her watch.

     The door opens.     A man in a suit:

                            MAN
                  Could you accompany me please?

                              LINDA
                  Well----okay...


77   INT. EMBASSY HALLWAY - DAY                                         77

     The three people----Linda, Chad, the man in the suit----walking.
     Linda gazes around; Chad has his head mostly back.


78   INT. ANOTHER EMBASSY OFFICE - DAY                                  78

     Vladimir Putin glares down from a framed photograph on the
     wall. Chad and Linda are sitting before yet another man, even
     blander than the first.

                            NEW EMBASSY MAN
                  Can you tell me where this material
                  comes from?

     Linda makes a pantomime of zipping her lip.

     The man looks at her impassively.

                            CHAD
                  Name, rank and serial number.

     The Russian's focus shifts to the man with the bloody nose:

                               NEW EMBASSY MAN
                  Excuse me?

                            CHAD
                  We, um... we know our rights.

     The man stares at him.       A beat.

                            LINDA
                  This is just a taste.

     The man's look swings back to the woman for another staring
     beat.

     At length:

                                      Yellow Revision 8/24/07 63.


                         NEW EMBASSY MAN
               There is more material?

                         LINDA
               There's a lot more.    But we need to be
               paid.

                         NEW EMBASSY MAN
               You are not ideological.

     A beat.

                         CHAD
               I don't think so.

                         LINDA
               Look, I have a date.

                           NEW EMBASSY MAN
               Hm?

     Linda holds up her watch and taps at it:

                           LINDA
               Date.

     The man sighs.

                         NEW EMBASSY MAN
               ... We will examine the material.   How
               do I contact?

                         LINDA
               We work at the Hardbodies in
               Alexandria.

                         CHAD
               I'm at 1442 Westerly----

                         LINDA
               Chad, not your home address!

     Beat.

                         NEW EMBASSY MAN
               So... I call Hardbodies, I ask for...
               Chad?

                           LINDA
               No.    Linda.                                             *


79   INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. HARDBODIES - DAY                         79

                                                             64.


     TED TREFFON

     Point-of-view from a car pulling into Hardbodies. Ted
     Treffon, the soulful manager, stands on the sidewalk in front
     of the gym, squinting into the approaching car, his arms out
     to either side, palms up: what the hell is going on?


80   INT. TED'S CUBICLE - DAY                                        80

     Minutes later.

                         TED
               A line to check in, towels piling up.

                            LINDA
               I'm sorry.

                         TED
               Manolo running around like crazy----what
               happened to your nose?

                            CHAD
               I just----

                         TED
               This is not acceptable at Hardbodies.
               You two know better than that.

                            LINDA
               Yes we do.     I'm sorry, Ted.

                         TED
               This is no way.

                         CHAD
               It was unavoidable.    This won't happen
               again.

     A considering beat.

                         TED
               But you won't tell me what's going on.

                         LINDA
               We can't. I... I... Ted, I know this
               is terrible, but----I have to run. I
               have a date.

     Ted looks at her dolefully.

                         TED
               You're changing, Linda.

                                          Blue Revision 8/1/07 65.


     He shakes his head.

                          TED (CONT'D)
                ... Very sad.


81   EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - OSBOURNE'S CAR - DAY                       81 *

     The car is parked in the driveway of the Cox townhouse, its
     back crumpled.

     Reverse shows Katie, looking at it, furious, her jaw set.


82   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                        82 *

     Katie marches in the door.

                          KATIE
                Ozzie! Goddamnit, Ozzie, what have
                you done to the car?!

     Silence.


83   INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY                                          83 *

     Katie enters.

                            KATIE
                Ozzie!

     Osbourne, lightly sheened by sweat, is in the easy chair in
     his robe, his microcassette recorder under the hand splayed
     across his chest. Amber fluid puddles a glass on the side
     table. Osbourne snores softly.

     Katie's fury mounts.    She visibly fights it down.

                          KATIE (CONT'D)
                ... All right. All right.


84   INT. PFARRER BATHROOM - DAY                                     84 *

     In Harry Pfarrer's house. Harry stands before the mirror
     humming as he meticulously trims his eyebrow hair with a
     Hoffritz scissors.

     We hear his phone ringing, then the answering machine:

                          HARRY'S VOICE
                Sandy and I aren't here to take your
                call. Please leave a message.

                                          Blue Revision 8/1/07 66.


     After a beep:

                         KATIE'S VOICE
               Can I see you please. Harry, please
               call me. I'm very upset.

     Harry continues to hum, trimming his eyebrows.   The machine
     beeps off.


85   INT. PFARRER LIVING ROOM - DAY                                  85 *

     Harry walks into the living room. He takes some as-yet-
     unfolded packing boxes and strews them with studied
     randomness across the floor. As he does so we hear a cell
     phone chirp.

     Harry fishes the phone out of his pocket and holds it at
     arm's length, squinting at the number. Still humming, he
     stuffs the phone back in his pocket.


86   EXT. STREET/CIRCLE THEATRE - NIGHT                              86

     Linda meets Harry with a kiss.

                          LINDA
               I'm sorry----am I late?

                         HARRY
               No no, doesn't start for five minutes.

     He is escorting to a movie theater entrance.

                         HARRY (CONT'D)
               ... You haven't seen this, have you?

                          LINDA
               Oh!   No, no I haven't.

     Our follow-move brings in a light box displaying the one-
     sheet for Totally Stoked! with Dermot Mulroney and Claire
     Danes.

     As they tail out of frame:

                         HARRY
               I hear it's terrific.


87   INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT                                         87

     On the screen, Dermot Mulroney, dressed in a tuxedo, cranes
     his head to look steeply up and off.

                                                                 67.


                         DERMOT
               First you tell me that you can't
               commit, then you----WOULD YOU GET DOWN
               FROM THERE!

     Along with Linda, Harry laughs raucously, tossing popcorn
     into his mouth.


88   INT. HARRY'S CHEVY CHASE HOUSE - NIGHT                            88

     The door swings in and Harry and Linda enter.      Harry refers
     to the boxes littering the floor:

                         HARRY
               Pardon our dust, I, uh----the ex is in
               the process of moving out. Damn! I
               told her I wanted to expedite this.

                         LINDA
               Uh-huh.

                         HARRY
               We, uh, you know you try to act like
               an adult.

                         LINDA
               Oh, it's never easy.

                          HARRY
               Oh! Come on downstairs.    Do you like
               surprises?

                         LINDA
               Well, I'm very open to new
               experiences...


89   INT. PFARRER BASEMENT - NIGHT                                     89

     The overhead light is switched on.

     As Harry and Linda come down the stairs:

                           HARRY
               I gotta tell ya----I saw an ad for this
               in a gentleman's magazine----twelve
               hundred bucks. I take a look at this
               thing, I think, Jesus, you gotta be
               kidding----I'm a hobbyist, this is
               basically nothing but speed-rail, I
               could probably go to Home Depot and
               whip this up myself for, like, a
               hundred bucks...

                                                             68.


     He sweeps the drop-cloth off his project.

     It looks like a rowing machine, though with a higher seat.
     Its function is obscure.

                            LINDA
                  ... What is it?

                             HARRY
                      (smug)
                  What is it. You siddown, feet in the
                  stirrups, and...

     He pushes the seat with his foot. It slides forward then
     back, forward and back, rocking. On its forward arc a dildo
     emerges from the center of the seat's pipe-track, angled
     toward the seat-bottom which is cleft to accommodate its
     entrance.

     A long beat as the seat squeaks back and forth, the dildo
     rhythmically bobbing up and down.

     At length:

                              LINDA
                  Omygod!

     Another couple of cycles.

                            LINDA (CONT'D)
                  ... It's fantastic!

                            HARRY
                  Isn't that somethin'? Hundred bucks
                  all-in if you don't count my labor.
                  And the, you know----cost of the dildo.
                  Those things are not cheap.

                              LINDA
                  Uh-uh.

                            HARRY
                  But I lack the, uh, I'm not set up to
                  mold hard rubber.

     Both stare at the rocking love seat:

     Squeak.   Squeak.      Squeak.


90   INT. BAR - NIGHT                                              90

                                                        69.


CLOSE ON OSBOURNE

Sitting in a bar booth, staring, incredulous.

                    OSBOURNE
          ... The Russians?

Across from him, a man of Osbourne's age.

                       MAN (HAL)
          Uh-huh.

                    OSBOURNE
          The Russians?

                      HAL
          Uh-huh.    Russian Embassy, yeah.

Osbourne stares.

                    OSBOURNE
          ... You're sure?

                    HAL
          Hey, the guy was not hard to follow.
          As you know.

                     OSBOURNE
          Why the FUCK would they go to the
          Russians?!

The man responds only with a shrug and a commiserating head-
shake.

                    OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
          ... Why the FUCK...

Osbourne struggles to compose himself.

                    OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
          ... I'm sorry. Thank you, Hal.

                       HAL
          Hey.     No problemo.

He leans in, voice lowered.

                    HAL (CONT'D)
          ... Ozzie, I hate to be the paranoid
          old spook, but those two guys seem
          very interested in you.

Osbourne looks.

                                                         70.


                    HAL (CONT'D)
          ...You haven't gone poofy on me, have
          ya Oz?

There are two men with drinks at a booth. At Osbourne's look
one of them, who has been staring, looks hastily away.

                    OSBOURNE
              (sharply)
          Can I help you?

The man meets his look again.   He smiles, rises, ambles over.

                    MAN (PROCESS SERVER)
          Sorry to stare, I just couldn't place
          the... You're Princeton, aren't you?
          My year? '73?

                    OSBOURNE
              (softening)
          Yeah.

                    PROCESS SERVER
          I just didn't remember your...

Osbourne extends a hand.

                    OSBOURNE
          Osbourne Cox.

                    PROCESS SERVER
          Thought so.

He smiles as he deposits a large manila envelope in
Osbourne's extended hand.

                    PROCESS SERVER (CONT'D)
          ... Served...

He nods toward his companion, watching from the booth.

                    PROCESS SERVER (CONT'D)
          ... and witnessed. Have a good
          evening.

The man walks off; his friend hastily knocks back the rest of
his drink and rises to follow him.

Osbourne stares stupidly at the envelope in his hand.

                    HAL
          Ouch.

                                                             71.


91   INT. COX'S CAR/EXT. COX'S TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT                    91

     THRU A WINDSHIELD

     Night.    Rain.

     The car corners into a driveway and its headlights rake the
     front of the Cox townhouse, which is dark. A couple of
     pieces of luggage and several cardboard boxes are stacked on
     the stoop, most of them protected from the rain by the eave
     but some not.

                           OSBOURNE'S VOICE
                 What the fuck?

     OUTSIDE

     The car stops. Osbourne emerges, runs through the rain to
     the front stoop. Rain drums against cardboard.

                           OSBOURNE
                 What the fuck?

     He puts his key in the lock and----it doesn't turn.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 ... Fucking...

     He nudges a cardboard box with his toe.

     He looks up at the dark house, squinting against the rain.


92   INT. JAMBA JUICE - DAY                                         92

     Linda and Chad sit at the counter, Linda drinking a large
     protein shake, Chad idly twirling a straw wrapper around one
     finger.

                           CHAD
                 Why did you tell him we could get more
                 stuff?

                           LINDA
                 Well maybe we can.

                           CHAD
                 That's all Manolo found! That was
                 everything! What're we, gonna tell
                 Manolo to scoop some more secret shit
                 off the locker room floor!

                           LINDA
                 Hey!

                        Yellow Revision 8/24/07 72.


            CHAD
What.

          LINDA
I don't like the snideness!    Nor the                *
negativity!

           CHAD
    (abashed)
I'm sorry.

          LINDA
I'm just trying to work this thing!
If I'm going to reinvent myself I need
those surgeries. And those surgeries
cost money! This is not just fun and
games!

           CHAD
Yuh-huh.   I'm sorry.

          LINDA
So let's figure this thing out!

          PUBLIC ADDRESS
Chad, your Berry Blast is ready.

          LINDA
We know who he is

          CHAD
Right: Osbourne Cox.

          LINDA
So we can find out where he lives,
right?

            CHAD
Um.    I guess.

          LINDA
You should change.   Into your suit.

            CHAD
Why?

          LINDA
So you don't look out of place in the
neighborhood. There are certain
elementary things.

          CHAD
His neighborhood?

                                      Yellow Revision 8/24/07 73.


                         LINDA
               Yes. We'll remove the laundry marks
               and labels. And you should not be
               carrying ID.

                         CHAD
               Laundry marks?                                               *

                         LINDA
               Deniability.

                            CHAD
               Okay.

                         PUBLIC ADDRESS
               Chad, your Berry Blast is waiting.


93   EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                          93

     LONG LENS POINT-OF-VIEW

     A car is pulling into the driveway.   Katie Cox emerges from
     the driver's side.

     Reverse shows Chad, in his suit, watching from a parked car
     across the street.

     Now Harry Pfarrer emerges from the passenger side wearing a
     brown pin-striped suit. Encumbered by something bulky he
     follows Katie up the walk.

     It seems to be some kind of pillow or cushion under his arm,
     but very large, and wedge-shaped. Katie is letting herself
     in; Harry gives a furtive glance around----as Chad sinks back
     in his car seat----before entering with the wedge-cushion.

     The door closes.

     Chad relaxes, straightens up.   A beat.   He looks idly around.
     He notices:

     Another car, parked on the same side of the street, further
     up. Someone is just straightening from a slouch to become
     visible over the driver's headrest.

     Chad looks, puzzled.


94   INT. CAR/EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY - LATER                         94

     Chad is sucking the dregs of his Jamba Juice up a straw when
     a noise brings his look around:

                                                               74.


     The door to the townhouse is opening. Katie emerges, in a
     change of clothes. Harry follows in sweats.

     They get into her car.   It pulls out.

     Chad watches it go up the street.    He is about to open his
     door but pauses, seeing:

     The parked car up the street. Katie's car having passed, it
     now pulls out and follows at a discreet distance. Both cars
     disappear.

     Chad opens his door and gets out. He is crossing to the
     townhouse when he notices another car parked on the other
     side of the street. A man sits in the driver's seat,
     smoking.

     Chad proceeds on to the house. There is a barred garden-
     level door tucked under the stoop. Chad checks out the
     caging on the door. He looks up the fa�ade of the house.


95   INT. KATIE'S CAR/EXT. POTOMAC BRIDGE - DAY                      95

     It pulls over at one end of the Potomac bridge that we have
     seen before. Harry emerges.

                         HARRY
               What's the odometer say?

                         KATIE
               Five.

                           HARRY
               About five or approximately five?    I
               mean----about f----

                         KATIE
               For fuck's sake, Harry, it's five
               miles. Five point two.

                         HARRY
               Okay, fine----I gotta do at least five.
               Five and a deuce is okay.

                         KATIE
               I'm surprised you have any energy
               left.

                         HARRY
               You kiddin'----pull around the corner
               we'll do it again in back!

                                                                 75.


                          KATIE
                You are very coarse.

                          HARRY
                No, back of the car.   I didn't mean a
                rear-entry, uh----

                           KATIE
                Ach.   I'm late----

      The car squeals away, leaving Harry on the shoulder.


96    EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                         96

      Chad is cornering the house on the driveway side, appraising.
      A low wall separates driveway from back garden. Chad gives a
      quick glance around.


97    EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BACK GARDEN - DAY                           97

      Chad vaults the wall to land in the garden.

      The garden steps down to a back door. Chad checks out the
      windows in back, then goes to the door. It is locked. It
      has a large window.


98    INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BACK WINDOW - DAY                           98

      We can see Chad's form outside the door.   Its pane is tapped
      once... twice... it breaks.


99    EXT. POTOMAC BRIDGE - DAY                                        99

      HARRY JOGGING

      He spins, jogs backward.

      His point-of-view: a car, traveling slowly.   Following?

      Harry cuts across a park lawn.


100   INT. TOWNHOUSE BASEMENT - DAY                                    100

      Chad is nosing around the basement.   He notices Ozzie's
      office set-up.


101   EXT. STREET NEAR PARK - DAY                                      101

                                                                 76.


      HARRY

      Emerging from the park onto another street. He looks around
      and, satisfied that he has lost the tail, jogs on.


102   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BASEMENT - DAY                              102

      Chad is looking at the screen of Ozzie's computer.

      He fishes a CD out of his suit pocket, feeds it into the
      computer.


103   EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY                                    103

      HARRY

      Jogging, entering a residential area.


104   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                         104

      Chad is emerging from the basement. He is looking idly
      around, heading toward the front door when a shape
      materializes in its frosted glass sidelight.

      Chad freezes.

      There is scraping at the lock.

      Chad quickly mounts the stairs.


105   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - SECOND FLOOR - DAY                          105

      Chad freezes, listening.

      The downstairs door swings open, shut.

      Footsteps.

      A tread on the stairs: Chad scurries into the first open
      door.


106   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY                               106

      Chad hotfoots into a closet and eases its door most of the
      way shut. The footsteps mount the stairs. Chad peeks out.

      His POV: The bed, bedclothes rumpled.    In the middle of the
      bed, a wedge-cushion.

                                                           77.


Beyond, the open bedroom door shows a slice of hallway and
stairs. Harry arrives at the top of the stairs. He nudges
back a drape on the window at the top of the steps. He looks
down one way, then the other. He lets the drape fall back
and seems to relax.

Harry enters the bedroom. He strips off his shirt and steps
out of his pants on his way into the bathroom off the master
bedroom. He leaves the door open.

Chad reaches gingerly for the closet door to close it but
stops abruptly as we hear the shower turned off and the
curtain whipped back. Harry emerges from the shower. He
rinses off, humming "Born Free," and walks into the
foreground pulling on shorts and shirt and a pair of dress
pants that was draped across a bureau.

Chad shrinks back into the closet as Harry approaches.     Harry
stops, just outside the cracked door.

Through the crack we see only the white of his shirt.
Abruptly Harry turns his back to us and recedes into the room
and bends to pick something off the floor.

Chad leans in ever so slightly to see, but draws back again
as Harry approaches.

Chad looks over to his right: on a hanger, the brown
pinstripe coat that matches Harry's pants.

The closet door is thrown open.

                     CHAD
          Nuhhh!

                    HARRY
          AHHHHHHHHHH!

Harry jerks up the gun which he's pulled from the shoulder
holster in his other hand and----BAM----shoots Chad in the face.

The gun bucks. Unused to the recoil and still screaming,
Harry staggers back and trips over the edge of the bed and
drops the weapon.

He crabs briefly backward and then flips over and scrambles
off on all fours. In the hallway he rises and tramples down
the stairs.

                                                                78.


107   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BOTTOM OF STAIRS - DAY                     107

      He stops at the bottom of the steps, panting. He looks back
      up the steps, trying to control his heavy breathing so that
      he can listen.

      A long silence.

                                HARRY
                   ... Hello?

      No answer.

      He looks around.


108   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY                              108

      Harry enters.    He opens a drawer, closes it, opens another.


109   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - FOYER - DAY                                109

      Harry enters from the kitchen and starts slowly mounting the
      stairs, a chopping knife in one hand.

                                HARRY
                   ... Hello?


110   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - SECOND FLOOR - DAY                         110

      Harry tops the stairs.       He pauses, looking at:

      The bedroom door, ajar.

      Inside, his gun lies on the floor.

      Harry takes cautious steps toward the door.

      He pauses at the cracked door.      Suddenly:

                                HARRY
                   Hungh!

      He plunges through the door and runs for the gun and scoops
      it, dropping the knife.

      He stands and spins, panting.

      His point-of-view: the closet. Its door ajar. Legs protrude
      into the room as if Chad, hidden within, is sitting with his
      back against the closet wall contemplating his next move.

                                                             79.


Harry walks cautiously over. With a bare foot he
experimentally waggles one of Chad's feet. Limp.

Harry nudges the door.

                       HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Hello?

It creaks fully open.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Omygod. Omygod.

Chad's face is a powder-burned, chewed-up mess.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Omygod who are you. You fucker.
          Omygod.

He gingerly crouches down.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... You fucker...

He tries to avert his eyes as he feels in Chad's suit
pockets.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Omygod, my god... Ungh...

He comes away with a wallet and hastily stands.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Omygod...

Inside are a few dollars and nothing else: no credit cards,
driver's license; empty.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... What the fuck...

He leans back in, trying not to look, but for some reason
feeling obliged to return the wallet.

As he opens the suit coat to slip it back in the inside
pocket he notices:

The suit label has been cut away.       He fingers the raveled
fringe.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Oh my fuck...

He straightens up again.

                                                              80.


                          HARRY (CONT'D)
                ... I killed a fucking spook.    You
                fucker...

      He gazes down at the body.

                          HARRY (CONT'D)
                ... What are you doing here, you
                fucker.


111   INT. CIA HALLWAY - DAY                                          111

      We track at floor level, following the well shined shoes of
      someone walking down the well polished hallway.


112   INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - DOOR/PALMER'S OFFICE - DAY              112

      We are low, outside an office door. The shoes enter frame
      and the door is swung inward, away from us, to show Palmer
      DeBakey Smith seated behind his desk.

      He looks up.

                            PALMER
                Olson.    What's up.

      The door slams shut.


113   INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - DOOR/PALMER'S OFFICE - DAY              113

      Some time later.    Our camera position is higher.

      At the cut the door swings open and Palmer Smith strides out,
      grim-faced.


114   INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - OFFICE HALLWAY - DAY                    114

      Tracking behind his shoes down a different piece of hallway.


115   INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - ANOTHER DOOR/CHUBB'S OFFICE - DAY       115

      Palmer Smith's back enters and he swings the door open. A
      silver-haired man looks up from his desk where he is leaned
      back, eating orange sections off a paper towel on the
      desktop.

                            MAN
                Palmer.    What's up.

                                                        81.


                    PALMER
          Not quite certain, sir, but it's...
          messy.

He seats himself facing the desk. A desktop nameplate
identifies his superior as Gardner McC. Chubb.

Palmer hands a folder across, grimacing.

                    PALMER (CONT'D)
          ... Kolyma-2 tells us that they have
          computer files from an ex-analyst of
          mine, Osbourne Cox.

                       GARDNER CHUBB
          Kolyma-2?

                    PALMER
          Our man in the Russian Embassy.

                       GARDNER CHUBB
          Mm.

                    PALMER
          It was brought to them by a woman
          who----

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          The Russians?

                    PALMER
          Yeah. It was brought in by Linda
          Litzke, an associate of a guy named
          Harry Pfarrer. Picture's in the
          folder. With Pfarrer's.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          The Russians.

                       PALMER
          Yeah.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          Who's Pfarrer?

                    PALMER
          Treasury agent who's been, um,
          screwing Mrs. Cox. Must be how they
          got the files. Or maybe Ozzie knows
          about it, they all seem to be sleeping
          with each other.

                       GARDNER CHUBB
          All right.     Spare me.

                                                        82.


                    PALMER
          Yes sir. But this Treasury guy----it's
          gotten... complicated. He just shot
          somebody in Ozzie's house.

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          Shot----your analyst?

Palmer shakes his head.

                    PALMER
          Ozzie wasn't there. Our man surveying
          hears a gunshot, sees the Treasury guy
          wrestle something into his car,
          follows him; he dumps a body in the
          Chesapeake Bay.

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          Well----what'd he do that for?

                    PALMER
          Don't know sir.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          Oh for Christ sake. Anyone fish the
          body out?

                     PALMER
          Mm-hm.

                     GARDNER CHUBB
          Russian?   American?

                    PALMER
          Don't know. Scrubbed of ID.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          And this... Linda...?

                    PALMER
          Linda Litzke.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          She's Treasury?

                     PALMER
          No, we're----um... fuzzy on her.

Gardner Chubb is flipping bemusedly through the contents of
the folder.

                        GARDNER CHUBB
          Well----so----we don't really know what
          anyone is after.

                                                             83.


                          PALMER
                Not really, sir.

                          GARDNER CHUBB
                This analyst, ex-analyst, uh...

                            PALMER
                Cox.

                            GARDNER CHUBB
                Yeah.    What's his clearance level.

                            PALMER
                Three.

                            GARDNER CHUBB
                Okay.    Okay, no biggie...

      He reaches the folder back to Palmer.

                          GARDNER CHUBB (CONT'D)
                ... for now just keep an eye on
                everyone, see what they do.

                          PALMER
                Right, sir. And----we'll interface with
                the FBI on this, uh, dead body?

                          GARDNER CHUBB
                No! No, we don't want those idiots
                blundering around in this. Burn the
                body. Get rid of it. And keep an eye
                on everyone, see what they do. Report
                back when, um, I don't know. When it
                makes sense.


116   INT. YACHT CABIN - DAY                                        116

      A HOPPING MAN IN A UNITARD

      His hands are on his hips. He is darkly Mediterranean and
      very fit. He smiles into the camera as he hops in time to
      upbeat music, kicking a leg out on each beat.

                          MAN
                To the left!... Repeat!... To the
                right!... Repeat!... And in!... And
                out!... And higher!... Repeat!...

      Wider shows that the man is on TV leading the viewer in
      exercise. The viewer, in this case, is Osbourne Cox, on his
      boat.

                                                              84.


      He follows along in his underwear in the cramped quarters
      belowdecks. Boxes and luggage are strewn about, half-
      unpacked.

      He pants as he exercises:

                          OSBOURNE
                I'm bigger... I'm back... I'm
                better... I'm back... than ever... I'm
                back... fuckers... I'm back...

                          MAN ON TV
                ... And good!... Repeat!... Now
                bend!... And bounce!... . And
                lower!... Repeat!... And up!... And
                back!... And up!... Repeat!


117   INT. TED'S OFFICE/LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY                          117

      LINDA

      We are on a long lens point-of-view, from several cubicles
      over, of Linda slumped at her desk, head in her arms. We
      faintly hear her sobbing.

      Reverse shows Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of Hardbodies,
      looking at her, unsettled.

      CLOSE ON LINDA

      We are in her cubicle now, her weeping bumping up at the cut.

      A tap against the cubicle window brings her head up.

      Ted Treffon opens the door.

                           TED
                Linda.   You okay?

                          LINDA
                I'm fine, Ted, I'm sorry.

      He sits at the chair alongside her desk.

                          TED
                You don't look fine.

                          LINDA
                No no, I'm... I'm...

                          TED
                You won't tell me what it's about.
                You never let me in, Linda.

                                                       85.


                       LINDA
             Oh, I know you're trustworthy, I
             just... don't want to endanger other
             people with----I mean, it's a path I've
             chosen, it's not, you have to isolate,
             you know, a firewall.

Ted sighs.

                        TED
             Uh-huh. Well, I don't know what to
             think. You both go AWOL on Friday;
             today Chad doesn't bother to come in
             at all----

                       LINDA
             I know, Ted.

                       TED
             Linda, I can't run a gym this way.

                       LINDA
             I know, Ted.

                       TED
             I'm going to have to fire him.

                       LINDA
             No! No no no, Ted!   Just, just. .   .

                         TED
             What?

                       LINDA
             Give me twenty-four hours!

                         TED
             To what?

                       LINDA
             To, um... I don't know, twenty-four
             hours!

                         TED
             Linda----

                       LINDA
             Just give me twenty-four hours to
             solve this thing!

                       TED
             Linda. I have to tell you. A man was
             here earlier asking about you.

                                    Yellow Revision 8/24/07 86.


Linda looks at Ted for a beat, thinking.

                       LINDA
          Foreigner?

                     TED
          Linda, are you in some kind of
          trouble? Is Chad running from
          something?

                    LINDA
          Ted, we know what we're doing. Let me
          ask you this: did he know my name.

                      TED
          Whuh----yes, he was asking about you.
          Employment history, et cetera. Real
          jerk. I told him to get lost.

She takes his hand.

                    LINDA
          Thank you, Ted.

Ted swallows.   He looks down.

                    TED
          Well, we...

Linda still has his hand.      He tries to cover his reaction to
the physical contact.

                    TED (CONT'D)
          ... we just don't give that out at
          Hardbodies.

The phone beeps.    A voice comes through the intercom:

                    VOICE
          Linda, there's a Mr. Krapotkin on line                   *
          two.

                       LINDA
          Omygod!

She punches a button on the phone.

                    LINDA (CONT'D)
          ... Hello? Mr. Krapkin?                                  *

                       VOICE
          Linda?

                                   Yellow Revision 8/24/07 87.


                       LINDA
          Yes?

                    VOICE
          This is Ilan Krapotkin. Russian
          embassy. Returning your call.

                     LINDA
          Yes, yes!----hang on.    Ted, I'm sorry.
          This is private.

Looking at her, Ted sighs. He shakes his head sadly, rises
and goes. Linda pushes the door of the cubicle shut with her
foot.

                       LINDA (CONT'D)
          ... Hello.     Is this a secure line, Mr.
          Krapkin?                                               *

Beat.

                       KRAPOTKIN
          Heh-heh.

Another beat.

                    LINDA
          Mr. Krapkin?                                           *

                       KRAPOTKIN
          Yes?

                    LINDA
          Is this a secure, uh----

                    KRAPOTKIN
          You are joking?

                     LINDA
          No! I----I'm terribly worried about my
          associate. My----my----you know... Chad.

                     KRAPOTKIN
          Yes?   Why is that?

                    LINDA
          Do you have him?

                    KRAPOTKIN
          Do we have him?

                      LINDA
          Is he----I don't know what the term is,
          did he, "go over"?

                                            Blue Revision 8/1/07 88.


                              KRAPOTKIN
                Um...

      Linda glances up. Outside her cubicle window Ted waits; at
      Linda's look he turns palms up: What's going on? Linda holds
      up a finger: one second.

                          LINDA
                Do you know where he is?

                          KRAPOTKIN
                Is he not... at Hardbodies?

                            LINDA
                No, I----look, can I come in and discuss
                this?


118   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY                               118 *

      Harry Pfarrer stands at the kitchen counter chopping carrots.
      He is intensely focused and chops very, very quickly,
      producing slices in high volume.

      Reverse shows Katie Cox in a chair in the living room, frozen
      in a look up, a file of papers forgotten in one hand as she
      gazes over half-glasses at Harry. His chopping continues
      unabated.

      After a long look and much chopping:

                          KATIE
                You seem distracted.

                          HARRY
                    (still chopping)
                Do I?

                          KATIE
                Very distracted.      The last two days.

                              HARRY
                Nn.   Work.

      The chopping continues.

      Katie's eyes shift down to the countertop, back up to Harry.
      Another beat.

                          KATIE
                ... That's enough carrots, don't you
                think?

                                                          89.


                      HARRY
          Huh?

                    KATIE
          For the salad?

The chopping stops.

Harry slaps the knife down.   He stares at Katie, jaw
grinding, for a beat.

                    HARRY
          You know: you're really a very
          negative person.

                      KATIE
          ... What?

Through grit teeth:

                    HARRY
          I've tried. To ignore it.    And stay
          upbeat.

Katie, unused to backtalk from Harry, is stunned.   She
returns in a manner as hard as his:

                    KATIE
          Harry: stop the foolishness.

                    HARRY
          Stop the foolishness?

                    KATIE
          Yes. And behave.    You are not talking
          to one of your...

Her fingers form quotes:

                    KATIE (CONT'D)
          ... "shithole buddies."

Harry glares at her, vibrating with rage.   Her look at him is
equally hard.

Harry abruptly turns and stomps up the stairs.

Brief tromping on the second floor.   Katie sits in puzzled
suspense.

Footfalls descend the staircase.

                                             Blue Revision 8/1/07 90.


      Harry reappears at the foot of the stairs with his wedge-
      cushion tucked under an arm. He flings the front door open,
      goes out, slams it shut.


119   EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE/INT. HARRY'S CAR - DAY                         119 *

      Harry stomps to his car in the driveway and flings in the
      cushion. He gets in, seething. After a beat he pulls out
      his cell phone and dials.

      A ring.   Pick-up.   A female voice:

                             SANDY
                 Hello?

                             HARRY
                 Honey.    It's so good to hear your
                 voice.

                           SANDY
                 Something wrong, Harry?

                           HARRY
                 No. Yes. Can you come home?       Your
                 baby needs you.

      A beat.

                           HARRY (CONT'D)
                 ... Can you please come home?

                           SANDY
                 Harry, you know I----

                           HARRY
                 I can show you your present.     It's
                 finished.

                             SANDY
                 Oh Harry.    I can't just leave the book
                 tour.

      Harry sags.

                             HARRY
                 Yeah.

                           SANDY
                 There are two days left.     There's
                 still Seattle.

                             HARRY
                 Yeah.

                                           Blue Revision 8/1/07 91.


                          SANDY
                I love you, Harry.

                           HARRY
                Okay.   Yeah. Love you too.

      He folds the phone, miserable.

      As he pockets it his attention is caught by something in the
      side-view mirror:

      The car parked across the street.    A man's shape in the
      driver's seat.


120   EXT. TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                            120 *

      Harry, jaw set, gets out of the car and starts down the
      drive.

      The parked car starts.

                            HARRY
                Hey!    Fucker!

      The car tries to pull out but is closely hemmed in by cars
      front and back; it will need a couple moves.

      Harry runs back to his own car, starts it, throws it into
      reverse and backs straight down the drive toward the
      frantically shuttling car.

      He t-bones it.

                             VOICE FROM WITHIN CAR
                Fucker!

      Harry, amped, throws his car into drive, pulls halfway up the
      driveway.

                           HARRY
                Fucker!   Fucker!

      He again throws the car into reverse.

      The man in the other car abandons his attempt to pull out and
      scrambles frantically toward the passenger side.

      Harry again smashes into the car.

                                           Blue Revision 8/1/07 92.


121   EXT. STREET ACROSS FROM TOWNHOUSE - DAY                         121 *

      The other man emerges from the far side. He flees down the
      sidewalk as fast as his weight will permit, pocket change
      jingling, yelling as he runs:

                            MAN
                Fucker!

      Harry runs after him, calling:

                          HARRY
                Who do you work for?!   Who do you work
                for?!

      Pounding footsteps.

                          HARRY (CONT'D)
                ... Tell me!

      The overweight man does not have Harry's stamina: Harry
      closes, leaps, and tackles.

      He crawls up the man's body, hand-over-hand, panting:

                          HARRY (CONT'D)
                ... Who do you work for? CIA?     NSC?

      The other man is panting much harder:

                          MAN
                Tuchman Marsh!

      This stops Harry.   He isn't sure what he's heard.

                            HARRY
                What?

                          MAN
                Tuchman Marsh!

                          HARRY
                ... Tuchman Marsh?

                            MAN
                Yes!

                          HARRY
                Your name is... Tuchman Marsh?

                          MAN
                Tuchman Marsh Hauptman Rodino!

                                                              93.


Harry stares at the man underneath him.     The gasping man
explains:

                    MAN (CONT'D)
          ... I work for them!

                    HARRY
          You... work for Tuchman Marsh.

                       MAN
          Yes!

                    HARRY
          Which is a law firm.

                   MAN
          No! A rock band!      Yes, it's a law
          firm!

                    HARRY
          Well... why are you following me?

                    MAN
          Divorce action, numbnuts!

Harry is blindsided.    He stares.   He slowly sits up,
digesting:

                    HARRY
          My... my wife hired you?!

The freed Tuchman Marsh man also sits up, still panting
heavily.

                    MAN
          No. Your wife hired Tuchman Marsh.
          Tuchman Marsh hired me. I work for
          Tuchman Marsh.

                      HARRY
          You're----you're----a divorce detective.

                       MAN
          Not just.     Credit, missing persons,
          whatever.

                    HARRY
          But this is divorce.

                    MAN
              ("duh")
          Well... yeah.

                                                            94.


Harry rises and walks stiffly, zombie-like, up the street.
The man watches him go.

After a few paces Harry stops and sits on the curb.    He
starts weeping.

The man, still breathing heavily, calls out:

                     MAN (CONT'D)
          ... Jesus----grow up, man!    It happens
          to everybody!

Harry's cell phone chirps.     He fishes it out and unfolds it,
sniveling.

                       HARRY
          Yeah?

                    VOICE
          Harry, it's Osbourne Cox.

Harry stares, trying to fit this in.     Osbourne prompts, after
a silent beat:

                       VOICE (CONT'D)
          ... Harry?

                       HARRY
          Yeah?

                    OSBOURNE
          Harry, could I get your wife's number?
          This is Osbourne Cox, could I trouble
          you for your wife's----

                    HARRY
          You can't tell her anything she
          doesn't already know, fucker.

                       OSBOURNE
          What?

Harry again stares: maybe he has this figured wrong.

After a silence:

                    OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
          ...Is this... Harry Pfarrer?

                    HARRY
          You want... Sandy's number?

Echoing up the street:

                                           Blue Revision 8/1/07 95.


                          MAN
                Can I use your phone?   To call a tow?


122   INT. OSBOURNE'S BOAT - DAY                                      122 *

      Osbourne paces the cramped cabin belowdecks, a phone to his
      ear. He is unshaven, wearing a robe.

      Filtered rings, then a connection:

                          SANDY'S VOICE
                Hello?

                          OSBOURNE
                Sandy?

                          SANDY
                Yes?

                          OSBOURNE
                Hi, it's Osbourne Cox, how are you.
                Hi.

                          SANDY
                ... Hi.

                            OSBOURNE
                Hi. Sorry to call out of the blue but
                I have a, well, a publishing question
                and I thought you might be the person
                to ask, I have this manuscript,
                something to do with my professional
                experiences, not to go into too much
                detail but I think it's pretty
                explosive stuff and I think that it
                could merit a fairly wide readership
                handled properly and it isn't quite
                finished yet but there's a situation
                where I'm worried about it leaking now
                and maybe excerpts being published or
                on the internet, whatever, without my
                permission, and a lot of the impact
                being, um, blunted, so I'm actually
                anxious to bring it to market sooner
                than I'd planned----I mean, like now, in
                fact----so I was thinking, I know you,
                and you seem to do well, so I was
                wondering if you were happy with your
                publisher. The people you use.

      A long beat.

                                                                 96.


                          SANDY
                You've written a children's book?

                            OSBOURNE
                No! No no, a, a kind of a memoir, but
                ----doesn't your company have an adult
                arm? Or isn't it, uh, the children's
                arm? Of a regular publisher?

                          SANDY
                Pappas & Swain do children's
                literature.

                          OSBOURNE
                Uh-huh. I see. So they don't----
                okay... Are you well?

                          SANDY
                Very well thank you.    And you.

                         OSBOURNE
                Yes. Good. Okay, well, thank you
                Sandy.

                            SANDY
                Yes.    Good talking to you.

      Disconnect.

      Osbourne yanks the rubber band off a bundle of mail.

                            OSBOURNE
                Bitch.


123   INT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - HALLWAY - DAY                             123

      Two pairs of footsteps echo down a long hallway as Linda
      Litzke is escorted by a solemn Russian staffer.


124   INT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - ANOTHER ROOM - DAY                        124

      A waiting room.    A long beat; Linda sits waiting.

      A door opens.    Mr. Krapotkin emerges.

      Linda stands to go to the inner office but Krapotkin motions
      her back down.

                          KRAPOTKIN
                Yes, madam. Can we help you?

                                                        97.


                    LINDA
          What kind of Mickey Mouse embassy are
          you running?! I've been waiting here
          for fifty-five minutes, and I'm----

                    KRAPOTKIN
          I am so sorry, madam.   An urgent
          matter.

                    LINDA
          Well this could be urgent too, since,
          you know, Chad has been missing for
          forty-eight hours now and----

                    KRAPOTKIN
          I don't know the whereabouts of Chad,
          madam.

                    LINDA
          Well he was gathering information for
          you when he----

                    KRAPOTKIN
          We're not interested in such
          "information". It was drivel.

Linda is dumbfounded.

A silent beat.

                    LINDA
          ... Dribble!

Krapotkin fishes something from his pocket.

                    KRAPOTKIN
          Would you like your disk back?

                    LINDA
          ... Dribble!

Krapotkin stands with the disk extended toward her.

                    KRAPOTKIN
          I'm so sorry I can't help you.

Linda recovers from her astonishment and is moved to outrage:

                    LINDA
          I'll tell you what's dribble! You
          listen to me, Mr. Krapkin! I am----

                                         Blue Revision 8/1/07 98.


125   INT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - HALLWAY AGAIN                          125

      Looking the opposite way.

      We hear two pairs of footsteps. They approach for several
      beats and then Linda and her escort enter frame and recede,
      footsteps echoing. The staffer's hand is on Linda's elbow.

      As we hold on their backs and they continue to walk, Linda
      jerks her arm away; the staffer regrabs it. She jerks away
      again.

                          LINDA
                Cut it out.


126   OMITTED                                                       126 *


127   OMITTED                                                       127 *


128   INT. OSBOURNE'S BOAT - DAY                                    128 *

      An exercise show plays on the TV, unwatched. Osbourne sits
      at a little table looking at a notice torn from a windowed
      envelope.

                            OSBOURNE
                ... What?

      He brings the notice close, squints at it.

                          OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                ... What the fuck?

      He quickly shuffles through the rest of the mail, pulls out
      another envelope, rips it open.

                                          Blue Revision 8/1/07 99.


       A MINUTE LATER

       Osbourne paces, drink in hand, staring at another piece of
       mail.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 What the fuck?

       A MINUTE LATER

       Osbourne is back at the table, drink half-consumed, listening
       at the phone.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 ... Yes... No... Yes, I want to know
                 why the check for my slip fee was
                 returned for insufficient funds...
                 Slip fee, for docking my boat, the
                 check was returned... No, m'dam, it's
                 not zero, I have about forty thousand
                 dollars in that account... When? ...
                 When?... But she can't do that----no,
                 yes, technically it may be a joint
                 account but she doesn't use it, it's
                 not her money... No! No! What
                 access, it's not possible! Without my
                 permission? What about the, my, the,
                 our savings account? My savings
                 account?... I don't know the fucking
                 number! You think I memorize the
                 fucking numbers on my fucking bank
                 accounts! Moron!... Hello?


A129   EXT. PFARRERS' CHEVY CHASE HOUSE - DUSK (FORMERLY SCENE 126) A129 *

       We are looking at the exterior of the house in wide shot.         *
       Peaceful neighborhood. Birds chirp.                               *

       From inside the house, though, we can faintly hear sobs,          *
       punctuated by sounds of exertion. Each gasp of effort ends        *
       in a dull clang.                                                  *


B129   INT. PFARRER BASEMENT - NIGHT (FORMERLY SCENE 127)            B129 *

       The wracking sobs bump up loud at the cut inside.                 *

       Harry is weeping as he demolishes the love seat with a            *
       sledgehammer.                                                     *

                                         Blue Revision 8/1/07 99A.


129   INT. HARDBODIES - TED'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY                      129 *

      Ted stares, horrified.

      After a beat:

                          TED
                No-o-o-o-o-o way.   No way.   Whoa.   No
                way, Linda...

      She sits opposite him in his office.    Ted shakes his head.

                          TED (CONT'D)
                ... No.

                          LINDA
                But Ted, I can't do it, I don't know
                anything about computers.

                                            100.


          TED
Linda, the whole thing is crazy. It
was crazy the first time, and you want
to do it again? Break into the man's
house? And why would----why would----you
said the Russians didn't even want
this stuff!

          LINDA
My world is bigger than that, Ted.
There's other people. There's the
Chinese.

          TED
Linda, these surgeries----

          LINDA
It's not just the surgeries, Ted!
It's not just the money! We can use
it as leverage! To get Chad back!

          TED
What do you mean "get him back"!

          LINDA
Information is power, Ted!     Hel-lo!

          TED
What do you mean "get him back"!      You
don't know where he is!

          LINDA
Somebody has him.    And we can----

          TED
You ask the police to help you find
missing people! And you----

          LINDA
I can't take it! I can't take it! I
can't take it! You know I can't do
that! We're operating off the map
here, Ted! This is way higher than
the police, it's higher than that!

               TED
Linda, I----

          LINDA
I need a can-do person, Ted! I hate
your negativity! I hate all your
reasons why not! I hate you! I hate
you!

                                           Blue Revision 8/1/07 101.


      Weeping, she storms out.

      Ted stares, shell-shocked.


130   INT. BAR - DAY                                                      130 *

      In close shot, Ted sits onto a bar stool.

      Dim bar, tinkling piano.

                          BARTENDER'S VOICE
                What'll it be.

      Ted stares straight ahead.     A long beat.

      He finally focuses on the bartender, off.      He swallows.

      Another beat.

                          TED
                Seven & Seven.


131   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT                                      131

      Night. Linda is asleep in her bedroom.        The buzz of the in-
      house intercom.

      Linda stirs, wakes and reaches for the bedside phone.

                             LINDA
                Hurrow----

      She removes an appliance from her mouth.

                             LINDA (CONT'D)
                ... Hello?

                          FILTERED VOICE
                It's Harry.


132   INT. LINDA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT                                    132

      Minutes later.   Harry is gazing off, slack-jawed, haunted.

      After a beat:

                          HARRY
                You think a marriage is... and then
                you...

      The thought drifts off.    A sad shake of the head.

                                                           102.


Linda enters, handing him a drink.    She sits opposite.

                    LINDA
          But this was a long time coming.

Harry looks up, surprised.

                      HARRY
          Was it?

He catches himself.   His gaze wanders back to the haunted,
empty spot.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Well, yeah... right...

                    LINDA
          You're depressed, Harry.

                    HARRY
              (hollowly)
          I am depressed. I gotta exercise. I
          haven't run in three days... butt-
          crunches... anything... Do you think I
          could stay here for a little while?

Linda starts quietly weeping.

This focuses Harry's attention.    He looks at her as if just
now noticing her.

                      HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... What?    What's wrong, baby?

                    LINDA
          It can't always come from me, Harry!
          I'm not that strong!

Harry moves next to her and puts an arm around her.

                    HARRY
          What's wrong, baby?     Harry's here.

                    LINDA
          You're not here for me! I need a can-
          do person! You're all... defeated!

                    HARRY
          I'm sorry, baby----

                    LINDA
          Chad is the only can-do person I know
          and he's gone, Harry, he's gone.

                                                       103.


                    HARRY
          I'll be good. I'll be better.     I just
          need to exercise. Are there
          pedestrian paths around here?

He squeezes her shoulder, takes a gulp of the drink.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Who the fuck is Chad?

                    LINDA
          Could you help me find him?  He's a
          friend from work. You know law
          enforcement people, right? You could
          call, unofficially?

                    HARRY
          Wait a minute, what's his name?   What
          happened?

                    LINDA
          Chad Feldheimer. He just disappeared.
          He hasn't been at work or at home for
          two days.

                         HARRY
          Okay.

                         LINDA
          He----

                    HARRY
          You know his social security number?

                         LINDA
          Huh?     NO!    I----

                    HARRY
          It's okay. That's okay.     What's the
          last place you saw him?

                    LINDA
              (snuffling)
          I don't know! He just disappeared!
          The last place I saw him was the Jamba
          Juice on K Street. And he's gone.

Harry squeezes her shoulder again.

                    HARRY
          Okay baby. We'll find your friend.
          Missing person. Piece of cake.

                                                                 104.


133   INT. PEDIATRIC EXAM ROOM - DAY                                      133

      AN EPIGLOTTIS

      Illuminated by a small light. It quavers.       The tongue starts
      to rise and the mouth starts to close.

                          WOMAN'S VOICE
                No, stay open...

      Wider: a pediatric examining room decorated with colorful
      prints of cartoon characters and clowns.

      Katie Cox, in a white smock, has a tongue depressor in a five-
      year-old's mouth and a light-sight in one hand. She
      withdraws both as the child finishes closing his mouth. The
      child's mother stands by.

      Katie grasps the child by the upper arm.

                          WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
                ... You have to let the doctor look in
                your mouth.

      The child keeps his lips pressed together.

                          WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
                ... Now you listen to me, young man.
                You do as I say or I'll ask your
                mother to leave the doctor's office
                and the two of us will sort out what's
                what.

      The child looks at her fearfully.

      The wall phone bleeps.

      Katie rolls to it on her castored chair.

                             WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
                ... Yes.

      She listens briefly.

                          WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
                ... With a patient.

      She hangs up.


134   INT. OSBOURNE'S BOAT - DAY                                          134

      Osbourne, in dressing gown and pyjamas, is barking into the
      phone:

                                                               105.


                          OSBOURNE
                Yeah? The same patient she's been
                with since YESTERDAY? BullSHIT!

                             FILTERED VOICE
                Dr. Cox has suggested you call her
                attorney----

                          OSBOURNE
                Yeah, RIGHT! Tell her I got the new
                fucking keys!

      He slams down the phone.


135   EXT. BOAT DECK                                                  135

      The hatch is thrown open and Osbourne emerges from below.
      There is a large built-in toolbox just by the hatch. He
      yanks it open and pulls out a hatchet.

                          OSBOURNE
                New keys...


136   DOCK                                                            136

      Osbourne strides grimly down the dock in his bathrobe,
      hatchet in hand.


137   INT. "GOOD MORNING, SEATTLE" SET - DAY                          137

      Sandy Pfarrer is sitting in an armchair on a morning show
      living room set surrounded by a dozen eight-year-olds sitting
      on the carpet. Hosts Del and Connie sit next to her in
      swivel chairs.

                            SANDY
                    (reading)
                And it was just then----at that very
                moment----that Oliver sneezed----

                             DEL
                Can    we just----I'm sorry to interrupt
                but    we have to let the folks at home
                see    this illustration! Can we just
                get    a shot of that...

      He is holding the book open, face out on his lap.

                            DEL (CONT'D)
                There----there it is. Oliver.
                Interrupting the filibuster with----

                                                       106.


                    CONNIE
          That's wonderful!

                    DEL
          Wonderful! The book is "Point of
          Order, Oliver!" and the talented
          author is Sandra Pfarrer. We're gonna
          go to a station break and then be
          right back with Bud Fraighling, the
          Sultan of Salad, and Part Two of our
          special interview with Dermot
          Mulroney. So keep it where it is!

Del and Connie and Sandy all wear smiles that stay fixed a
beat too long. Then Del relaxes and turns to Sandy.

                    DEL (CONT'D)
          ...Great segment.

                       SANDY
          Thank you.

                    DEL
          Yeah, you know we thought it might be
          fun if you joined us with Bud
          Fraighling and help make the Fiesta
          Salad, when we move over.

                    CONNIE
          Over on the kitchen set.

                    SANDY
          That wasn't discussed.

                      DEL
          Oh, sure! No! Only if you want to!
          Your segment went great, we just
          thought----

                    SANDY
          I'm sorry, I made plans.

                    DEL
          Okay, great!

                    CONNIE
          Great to see you again, Sandra!

She gives them a cold smile as a technician finishes
unclipping her lavaliere and she leaves.

Connie looks at Del and mouths "Bitch."

                                                               107.


138   EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                        138

      Osbourne's crumple-backed car roars up. It cuts a corner of
      the lawn and squeals to a halt in the drive. Osbourne
      emerges, still in robe and pyjamas, with the hatchet.

      He goes to the front door and bashes at the knob with the
      blunt end of the hatchet.

                          OSBOURNE
                New... fucking... keys... How's this
                for access...

      Hardware starts to fall off and jangle onto the stoop.
      Osbourne tries the sharp end of the hatchet a couple times,
      decides he prefers the blunt end.

                          OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                ... How's this for motherfucking
                access...

      More things fall off.    The knob wobbles in the door.

      Osbourne pushes the door open.


139   INT. STUDIO - HALLWAY - DAY                                     139

      Sandy Pfarrer is accompanied by a bright young PR woman.

                          PR WOMAN
                That was way out of line. We were so
                unbelievably clear with them: just an
                Oliver segment.

                             SANDY
                It's fine.

                          PR WOMAN
                Del and Connie are such putzes.

                             SANDY
                It's fine.     Thank you.   We're
                finished.

                           PR WOMAN
                Huh?   Well, okay. Great, uh----

      Sandy, entered her dressing room, is already shutting the
      door on her.

                                                              108.


140   INT. STUDIO DRESSING ROOM - DAY                                140

      Inside a man lounges reading a magazine.   He looks a little
      like Harry but younger.

                          SANDY
                Thought that would never be over.

      The man rises and kisses her.

                            MAN
                Mmm.    Me too.

                          SANDY
                Let me scrub this crap off my face.


141   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE KITCHEN - DAY                               141

      Osbourne opens a cabinet, muttering:

                          OSBOURNE
                Just for starters...

      He takes out liquor bottles and starts putting them in a
      packing case on the kitchen counter.


142   EXT. WASHINGTON MALL - DAY                                     142

      People sit on benches eating lunches. Harry Pfarrer is on
      the bench where he and Linda met, once again spitting
      sunflower seeds.

      Linda walks up.    They greet each other with a kiss.

                          HARRY
                Hello there sunshine.    You look great.

                          LINDA
                Well you seem better.

      Harry does indeed seem more like his old self.

                          HARRY
                Yeah, I snuck in a little gym time
                this morning. And our exercise last
                night didn't hurt!

      Linda is shocked but secretly pleased:

                            LINDA
                Harry!

                                                          109.


                    HARRY
          Boy, I am through banging my head
          against the wall. I am gonna start
          doing what's right for me.

                    LINDA
          That's how I believe, also.   You have
          to do what's right for----

                    HARRY
          Yeah! Hell yeah! I mean I had a
          shock recently, and I realized you
          know, life is not infinite. No one's
          immortal.

                    LINDA
          No one's immortal.

                    HARRY
          You have to get from each day its
          full, uh, squeeze the juice from every
          day because there but for the grace of
          God----

                    LINDA
          Exactly. The important thing is to
          maintain a positive outlook. Always
          up. Always ebullient.

                    HARRY
          That's right, don't sweat the small
          stuff...

Linda chimes in:

Linda and Harry

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... and it's all small stuff.

Harry reaches for Linda and she slides closer.     He puts an
arm around her.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          This is where we first met.   Remember?

                    LINDA
          Of course I do.

                    HARRY
          You never know what the important days
          are, until... until, um...

                                                          110.


The thought drifts away as his gaze fixes on something.    With
his look still fixed:

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... I told myself I was gonna stop
          being paranoid, but... is that guy
          looking at us?

Linda follows his look.

On a bench a short distance away a middle-aged man with
aviator glasses and hair plugs is staring at them.

                    LINDA
              (hastily)
          No, no.

A slightly overweight woman stops tentatively in front of
the man in the aviator glasses and they start to talk.

Linda turns to Harry.

                    LINDA (CONT'D)
          ... Have you found out anything about
          Chad?

                    HARRY
          Nothing yet, I've made a couple calls.
          I don't think it'll take long.

                    LINDA
          Really?

                    HARRY
          Oh yeah, there are so many data bases
          now it's a joke...

Relaxing now that he sees the man in aviator glasses engaged
in conversation, Harry warms to his theme.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... Back when I was in PP there was
          still some art to finding people. Not
          any more. And now with the cell
          phones? Pretty soon they're gonna
          know where everyone is. Everyone. At
          any given moment. I mean it's almost
          the reality now. You would be amazed.

                    LINDA
          Uh-huh.

                                                         111.


                      HARRY
          Did he----when you left the Jamba Juice
          ----did Chad say anything about where he
          might be going?

                    LINDA
          Oh, I know where he was going.

                      HARRY
          Oh yeah?

                    LINDA
          A residence in Alexandria.    On
          Hillsboro Drive.

Harry has stopped chewing.    He is staring at her.

Linda feels obliged to fill the silence.

                    LINDA (CONT'D)
          ... 2055 Hillsboro.

Harry stares.    Linda doesn't know what to make of his fixed
stare.

                    LINDA (CONT'D)
          ... It's, um. The residence of a guy
          named Osbourne Cox.

Harry is beginning to look sick.

A long silence.

Then, quietly:

                    HARRY
          Who are you?

Now Linda stares, unsure of what to make of the question.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... WHO ARE YOU?

Linda's eyes widen.   She is a little frightened.

People nearby turn to look.   It is a scene.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?

Harry reaches up.    He grabs her by the shoulders and shakes.

                    HARRY (CONT'D)
          ... WHO ARE YOU? REALLY?

                                                                  112.


      Linda is at sea.    She answers in a small voice:

                            LINDA
                  I'm ... just ... Linda Litzke.

      Harry stares at her.

      A long beat.

      He leaps to his feet and looks around in a panic.

      His point-of-view, sweeping the park. Nearby, the man with
      plugs, though talking with his date, is looking at him again.
      Farther away, a man sits in a curbside sedan. Watching?
      Hard to say.

      Harry turns and runs.       Linda gapes.

                                LINDA (CONT'D)
                  ... Harry!


143   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY                            143

      Osbourne sets the packing box heavily      down on a bureau in the
      upstairs bedroom. The box is a third       loaded up with liquor
      bottles. It also holds a mixed drink       which Osbourne now
      takes out. The ice cubes clink as he       sips, poking through
      things in the bureau.

      One drawer holds scarves and accessories and a large case.
      He opens the case and starts dumping jewelry from it into the
      cardboard box.

      Suddenly:

                                OSBOURNE
                  Ow!   Fuck!

      He yanks his hand back and shakes it.      He looks at the ball
      of his thumb. He sucks it.

      He carefully picks a brooch out of the jewelry case and
      flings it across the room.

      He resumes dumping jewelry into his box.

      He suddenly stops:

      A faint knock.    The front door.

      Osbourne waits.

      The knock repeats.

                                                                113.


      Another beat.

      The front door creaks open.

      Osbourne carefully sets down his drink. He steps quietly to
      the closet and pulls a small cedar chest off a high shelf.


144   EXT. WASHINGTON MALL/INT. LINDA'S CAR - DAY                      144

      Linda flings open the door to her car parked on the street
      bordering the mall. She gets in and turns the ignition.

      Pulling into traffic she checks her rear-view, and her look
      snags on:

      A dark four-door sedan pulling out a few cars back. It falls
      in behind her. Its driver is a man in sunglasses. He
      reaches up and touches fingertips to one ear.

      Linda frowns.   She looks forward, glances again at the
      mirror.

      Another dark car pulls into the lane next to the first.    Its
      driver is also a man in sunglasses.


145   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY                           145

      Downstairs, Osbourne rounds the corner from entryway to
      living room, a handgun at the ready. His drink is in his
      other hand. Ice cubes clink as he moves.

      The living room is empty.

      Osbourne advances cautiously.     A quick sidelong look at the
      kitchen.

      Empty.

      He proceeds to the basement door.


146   INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. INTERSECTION - DAY                         146

      LINDA DRIVING

      She gives worried glances at her rear-view.

      The light ahead turns yellow, red.

      Cars ahead stop.   Linda stops.

      A rhythmic thudding sound.    It almost makes her car vibrate.

                                                               114.


      She looks around.   She rolls down her window, sticks her head
      out, looks up.

      A black helicopter hovers overhead, rotors thudding. A black-
      clad body leans partway out. The person seems to be looking
      down.

      Linda draws her head back in.

                           LINDA
                 Oh for Pete's sake.


147   INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BASEMENT                                    147

      Osbourne is slowly descending the stairs, gun and drink in
      either hand, gun up, ice cubes clinking.

      The basement comes slowly into view.

      Someone stands behind his desk, at the computer.

      Osbourne descends further. He stops on the bottom step and
      stares at Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of Hardbodies.
      Ted stares at him.

      A long silence between the two men.

      Then, quietly:

                           OSBOURNE
                 And you are... my wife's lover.

                            TED
                 No.

                           OSBOURNE
                 Then what are you doing here.

      Silence.

      Osbourne takes the last step down.    He advances slowly, gun
      trained on Ted.

      Osbourne's look, holding on Ted, changes.

                           OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                 ... I know you. You're the guy at the
                 gym.

      Ted licks his lips.

                           TED
                 I'm not here representing Hardbodies.

                                                       115.


                     OSBOURNE
           I know what you represent. You
           represent the idiocy of today.

Ted shakes his head.

                     TED
           I don't represent that, either.

                     OSBOURNE
           Oh yes. You're the guy when I went to
           ask about that moronic woman.

                      TED
           She's not----

                     OSBOURNE
           You're in league with that moronic
           woman. You're part of a league of
           morons.

                        TED
           No.

                     OSBOURNE
           Yes. You're one of the morons I've
           been fighting all my life. My whole
           fucking life. But guess what. Guess
           what. Today I win.

BANG.

                        TED
           Ah!

Ted is shot in the upper chest.

He grabs a three-hole punch from the desktop and flings it at
Osbourne and charges.

                        OSBOURNE
           Oh!

BANG----another shot goes off.

Ted barrels into Osbourne, knocking him over----

                        OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
           ... Oooph!

----and goes on past him, lumbering up the stairs.

Osbourne gets to his feet.

                                            Pink Revision 8/14/07 116.


                             OSBOURNE (CONT'D)
                ... Stop!     Intruder!


148   EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY                                           148

      Ted staggers out of the house, a hand pressed to his chest.
      He has reached the front lawn when Osbourne emerges, robe
      flapping, pursuing with the hatchet.

                             OSBOURNE
                Intruder!

      He quickly catches up to Ted and whacks at him.

                             TED
                Oh!

      Osbourne whacks him down.       He keeps whacking at him.


149   INT. CHUBB'S OFFICE - DAY                                          149

      Gardner Chubb is behind his desk.

                             GARDNER CHUBB
                Wait.

      Palmer DeBakey Smith is seated across from him.      He freezes.

      A beat.

      Gardner Chubb rubs his forehead.

                          GARDNER CHUBB (CONT'D)
                ... Wait a minute. Where's the
                treasury guy? Pfarrer?

                             PALMER
                Right now?

                             GARDNER CHUBB
                Right now.

                          PALMER
                In a detention room at Washington
                Dulles.                                                        *

                             GARDNER CHUBB
                ... Why?

                           PALMER
                He was trying to board a flight to
                Venezuela.
                           (MORE)

                                                   117.

                    PALMER (CONT'D)
          We had his name on a hot list, the INS
          pulled him. Don't know why he was
          going to Venezuela.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          You don't know.

                        PALMER
          No sir.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          We have no extradition with Venezuela.

                    PALMER
          Oh. Uh-huh. Well----what should we do
          with him?

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          For fuck's sake, put him on the next
          flight to Venezuela!

                       PALMER
          Yes sir.     Okay.

Gardner Chubb is weary.

                        GARDNER CHUBB
          Okay.      So the gym manager is dead.

                        PALMER
          Yes sir.

                    GARDENER CHUBB
          The body is----

                        PALMER
          Gone, sir.

                        GARDENER CHUBB
          Okay----

                      PALMER
          But----there was a, uh... snag...

                        GARDNER CHUBB
          What.

                    PALMER
          Well. This analyst, Cox, was
          attacking the gym guy. It was broad
          daylight, on the street. Our man
          there didn't know what to do. He felt
          he had to step in.

                                                   118.


                      GARDNER CHUBB
          Yes?

                    PALMER
          He, uh... He shot the analyst.      He
          shot Cox.

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          Good!    Great! Is he dead?

                      PALMER
          No sir.

Gardner Chubb grimaces.

                    PALMER (CONT'D)
          ... He's in coma. They're not sure
          whether he'll make it. They think,
          they're pretty sure he has no brain
          function.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          Okay. Okay. If he wakes up we'll
          worry about it then. Jesus, what a
          clusterfuck. That's it then. No one
          else really knows anything. Okay.

                      PALMER
          Um.     Well sir, there is...

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          What.

                      PALMER
          Um...

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          What.

                    PALMER
          There is the woman.   The gym woman.
          Linda Litzke.

                     GARDNER CHUBB
          Oh yeah.   Fuck. Where is she.

                    PALMER
          We picked her up.    We have her.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          Can we, uh----

                                                   119.


                      PALMER
          She, she, she says she'll play ball if
          we pay for some... I know this sounds
          odd----some surgeries she wants.
          Cosmetic surgery. She says she'll sit
          on everything.

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          How much.

                    PALMER
          There were several procedures.    All
          together they run to, um----

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          Pay it.

                    PALMER
          Yes sir. Should I pay it out of,
          should it be from----

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          One of the black accounts, I don't
          give a shit. The January fund.
          Whatever.

                      PALMER
          Okay.

                      GARDNER CHUBB
          Jesus.    Jesus fucking Christ.

He shakes his head.

                    GARDNER CHUBB (CONT'D)
          ... What did we learn, Palmer.

                    PALMER
          I don't know, sir.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          I don't fucking know either. I guess
          we learned not to do it again.

                      PALMER
          Yes sir.

                    GARDNER CHUBB
          Although I'm fucked if I know what we
          did.

                      PALMER
          Yes sir.    Hard to say.

                                                           120.


      We pull back from Gardner Chubb, shaking his head.

                           GARDNER CHUBB
                Jesus.   Jesus fucking Christ.


150   EXT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - AERIAL - DAY                        150

      We pull up, back through the clouds, away.