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Next Friday Movie Script

Writer(s) : Ice Cube

Genres : Comedy

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       EXT. FRONT LAWN - OVERHEAD SHOT - NIGHT

       DEBO is laid out on the grass.

                           CRAIG (V.O.)
                 In the movies, when you beat up the
                 neighborhood bully; you suppose to live
                 happily ever after.  But around here;
                 that's when all the drama begins...

       Blue and red police lights flash over Debo's body.  Two
       sheriffs walk INTO OUR FRAME and stand over Debo.  They flash
       their lights on him.

                           CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
                 Last Friday; I got fired for the first
                 time.  I got high for the first time.  I
                 got shot at for the first time and I
                 kicked Debo's ass for the first time...

       They get him to his feet; but he stumbles and falls in the
       bushes like a knocked out prize fighter.  The sheriffs laugh
       at him.

       Debo looks dazed and confused.  The sheriffs help him out the
       bushes and start to cuff him.

                           CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
                 I was the man that night; and Debo ended
                 up going to jail for a couple of years.
                 But he told Ezal he was getting out next
                 Friday.  He said, when he see me, he was
                 gonna smoke me on the spot...

       They walk him OUT OF FRAME...

                                                     FADE TO BLACK.

                                                        OVER BLACK:

                           CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
                 And today is next Friday...

       SOUNDTRACK!

       "New Line Cinema presents, etc., etc...

       FADE IN:

       EXT. LOS ANGELES - EARLY MORNING

       OPENING CREDITS.  It's early Friday morning and the sun peeks
       over the LA skyline.  As the city starts to awake and the
       credits continue to roll;
       we see SEVERAL SHOTS of the real people who make up Los
       Angeles.  It seems that they all move to the same beat.

       EXT. L.A. COUNTY JAIL - CONTINUOUS

       Debo is released from the Twin Towers County Jail.  Still in
       his orange jumpsuit, he walks right past us and down the
       street.  Everybody clears his path.

       SOUNDTRACK still PUMPIN'.

       Debo crosses the street passing an old man dancing and
       directing traffic.  Debo stops, the man starts to dance in
       front of him.  He stares for a second, then he's on his way.

       Still walking tall and hard, he trips over a crack in the
       sidewalk (losing cool points).

       Three little black girls in plaid uniforms practice the
       latest dance steps on their way to school.  Debo is walking
       towards them.  They scream and take off in the other
       direction.  He smiles.  Briefly.

       Still walking; he stops at a corner.  A SA boy waits to cross
       with his low-rider bike.  A Metrolink train passes.  After it
       goes by; we see Debo riding off on the boy's bike.  He's on
       the ground holding his eye.

       Debo continues to ride through the city.

       He turns a corner or two and comes to a stop at Craig's
       house.

       EXT. JONES' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Mr. Jones' dog catcher's truck sits in front of the house.

       A CHIHUAHUA (like the Taco Bell dog) takes a dump on the
       lawn.  It starts to BARK at Debo.  He looks down at the dog
       and kicks him in the street.  The DOG YIPES!

       Debo focuses his attention on Craig's house.

       INT. JONES' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       The hallway is clear and quiet, until MR. JONES (Craig's
       father), storms out of the bedroom.  He struggles to put on
       his dog catcher's uniform.  He stops at the bathroom door and
       knocks hard.

                           MR. JONES
                 Craig!  Craig!  Off yo' ass and on yo'
                 feet; this ain't the time to beat your
                 meat!

       Mr. Jones laughs at himself.

                           CRAIG (O.S.)
                 I'll be out in about 35-40 minutes!

                           MR. JONES
                 Hurry up; today is Fri-day!  And we gotta
                 hit the high-way!

       Mr. Jones continues on his way; dancing to the beat.

       INT. BATHROOM - CLOSE-UP ON HIGH TIMES MAGAZINE - CONTINUOUS

       Hands crack open a $20 sack of bud onto the magazine.  A pack
       of Zigzags fall INTO FRAME.  Papers are ripped from the
       package.

       CLOSE UP ON CRAIG JONES

       the doctor of this delicate operation.

                           CRAIG (V.O.)
                 Soon as my pops found out what Debo said
                 to Ezal, he wanted me to move with my
                 uncle and little cousin in Rancho
                 Cucamonga.  Til' things calm down, or
                 Debo went back to prison.  Whichever
                 comes first.

       He's sitting on the toilet (dressed: not using it) putting
       the finishing touches on his masterpiece.  He licks, rolls
       and slides the 'J into the fifth pocket on his Levi jeans.

                           CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
                 I feel like the biggest punk around here.
                 I wiped Debo's ass.  He should be the one
                 moving.

       He exits.

       EXT. JONES' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       The front door opens.  Mr. Jones walks out the door, yelling
       back into the house.

                           MR. JONES
                 Craig!  Let's go!  I don't wanna hit that
                 traffic.

       He steps off the porch backwards and into "fresh Chihuahua
       shit."  He slips and falls on the grass.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                 I be got damn.

       Mr. Jones gets up.  He brushes the grass off his uniform.  He
       looks clean, but when he turns around dog shit is smashed all
       over his back and butt.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                 Craig!  Craig!

       Craig emerges from the house with his bags in hand.

                           CRAIG
                     (irritated)
                 Here I come!

                           MR. JONES
                     (still mad)
                 Well bring yo' ass on...

       Craig slams the door and starts towards the truck.

                           CRAIG
                 What's the matter?

                           MR. JONES
                 I fell in some mud.  Now hurry up!

       Mr. Jones gets in the truck.  Craig jumps in.  They back out
       and pull off.

       INT. DOG TRUCK - MOVING - CLOSE-UP ON CRAIG - CONTINUOUS

       He's daydreaming about Smokey.

                           CRAIG (V.O.)
                 I didn't wanna leave my neighborhood at
                 all.  Especially my homeboy Smokey.  But
                 he went to rehab last week.  I know I'mma
                 miss him...

       Out of nowhere, Debo jumps in front of the truck.  Mr. Jones
       slams on the BRAKES.

                           DEBO
                 Craig!  Get out the car, boy!  This the
                 rematch!

       Debo reaches for his shank.  Craig turns to Mr. Jones!

                           CRAIG
                 Daddy, punch it!

       Mr. Jones floors it and hits Debo.  He falls over the hood,
       off the car and in the street.  The yellow truck speeds off.

       Debo jumps up staggering with scrapes and bruises.

                           DEBO
                 You know I'mma find you!  You can run ya'
                 can't hide!

       BACK IN CAR - CONTINUOUS

       Craig screams out the window.

                           CRAIG
                 You fake ass Suge Knight!

       Mr. Jones is a bit shaken up.

                           MR. JONES
                 That nigga worst than them damn pit
                 bulldogs or something!  That's why moving
                 wit'cha Uncle Elroy and Cousin Day-Day is
                 the best thing for you right now.

                           CRAIG
                     (with attitude)
                 Ya'll making me look like a punk.

                           MR. JONES
                 It ain't about being a punk, son.  It's
                 about this...

       Craig smells something in the air.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                 My great, great grand daddy on my Momma
                 side; had a saying... 'See a fool --
                 leave a fool.'  Somebody else a get him.
                 Plus, I don't want that fool shooting at
                 my house trying to hit yo' ass.

                           CRAIG
                 What's that smell?

       Mr. Jones sniffs.

                           MR. JONES
                 Must be your upper lip, 'cause I don't
                 smell nothing.

                           CRAIG
                     (holding his nose)
                 I do.

                           MR. JONES
                 What it smell like?

                           CRAIG
                 Smells like you didn't fall in no mud.

       Mr. Jones grabs the air freshener from under the seat.  He
       starts to spray too much.  Craig's window won't roll down.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 What's wrong with the window?

                           MR. JONES
                 I gotta get'em fixed.  They don't roll
                 down.

                           CRAIG
                 All damn.

                           MR. JONES
                 Just hold your breath.

       EXT. CITY OF RANCHO CUCAMONGA - MORNING

       They exit the freeway and pass a sign that reads, "Rancho
       Cucamonga" (the city away from the city).

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - CONTINUOUS

       Welcome to the suburbs.  Where the "Smiley Happy People" live
       in peace and quiet.

       The neighborhood is full of green lawns and nice two story
       track homes as far as the eye can see.  The yellow truck
       drives through the streets and pulls up to a cul-de-sac.  Mr.
       Jones BLOWS the HORN.

                           MR. JONES
                 Nice neighborhood, huh?

                           CRAIG
                 It's alright.

                           MR. JONES
                 18-years of chasing dogs; and my lazy ass
                 brother hits the lotto his first time
                 playing.  I still can't figure that one
                 out.

                           CRAIG
                 Why they got to have the loudest house on
                 the block!

       Uncle Elroy's house is royal blue with gold trim.  All the
       other houses are painted in earth tones.

                           MR. JONES
                 Ah, son, don't be no hater.  You know
                 your uncle ain't got no taste.  Just
                 don't let him rub off on you.

       Craig grabs his bags.

                           CRAIG
                 You coming in?

                           MR. JONES
                 No, I'mma go on to work.  I don't wanna
                 hear Elroy's mouth.  Now listen to me,
                 Craig.  It's gonna be different living
                 over here.  Don't let your uncle and your
                 cousin get you into no shit.  Understand?

                           CRAIG
                 Hey, Pops, I'm grown.  Can't nobody get
                 me in trouble no more.

       As craig gets out;  the front door flies open.  It's DAY-DAY
       (22), Craig's crazy younger cousin.  He yells back into the
       house.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Daddy, Craig is here.

       Day-Day walks out to the car and gives Craig a pound.

                           CRAIG
                 What's crackin'?

                           DAY-DAY
                 You.  Hi, Uncle Willie.

                           MR. JONES
                 Hey, Day-Day.  Where's yo' big head
                 father?

                           DAY-DAY
                 There he is.

       Just then, UNCLE ELROY (42) hits the door.  Dressed in boxers
       and a T-shirt.  This is Mr. Jones' (very loud) little
       brother.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Hey, Debo, heard you running from a ass-
                 whippin'?

                           CRAIG
                 Naw, it ain't like that.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 If you see that boy again, bite off his
                 ear off like Mike Tyson.

                           CRAIG
                 Alright, I'll remember that.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 You know me?  I would've shot his big
                 ass.
                     (peeking into the ear)
                 Hey, Willie, how's it going?  Still
                 steppin' in dog shit every day?

       Uncle Elroy laughs.  Mr. Jones isn't amused.

                           MR. JONES
                 Make sure you look after my son out here.
                 Don't get him involved with none of your
                 bullshit, Roy.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Don't worry 'bout nothin', big bro.  He
                 in the best fuckin' hands in Rancho
                 Chocomunga, baby!  This my world, you
                 just a nigga late paying rent.  Ain't
                 that right, nephew?

       Uncle Elroy hugs Craig by the arm.

                           MR. JONES
                 Craig, remember what I told you.

                           CRAIG
                 I'll remember.

       Mr. Jones pulls off.  Uncle Elroy yells out to him.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Send Betty my love.
                     (to Craig)
                 Boy you looking good.
                     (grabbing his bags)
                 I'mma take these in the house for you,
                 man... and when you finish with this cat,
                 come inside.  I got something to show
                 you.

                           CRAIG
                 Thanks, Unc.

       Uncle Elroy starts towards to the house.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You know it's been over a year since we
                 kicked it last?  Up at the family
                 reunion.

                           CRAIG
                 I know, that's when Uncle Elroy cussed
                 out everybody, and threw up in Aunt
                 Faye's backseat.

       Day-Day laughs.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yep.  I forgot about him cussin' out
                 everybody.  Damn that was fun.

                           CRAIG
                 I know, we had a good time.  But ever
                 since you guys moved out here, it seems
                 like we've lost touch.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I know; this a long way from Watts.  But
                 what I like about living out here is that
                 you don't hear no helicopters, no sirens,
                 no drive-by's, no nothing.  Just peace
                 and quiet.  Listen.

       They do.  It is quiet, except for a few BIRDS SINGING.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Shit sound good, huh?

       Just then, a maroon Cadillac low-rider on Daytons rolls up
       the block.  It's the Jokers: JOKER (28), LI'L JOKER (21) and
       BABY JOKER (15).  They pull into their driveway.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Aw damn.

       In SLOW MOTION: One by one they get out the car.  They have a
       dog with them named "Cheeco."  As they get to the front door
       they all look over at Craig and Day-Day.

       Day-Day looks away, while Craig keeps his eye on them.  They
       disappear inside.

                           CRAIG
                 Who is that?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Joker, he just got out of the pen.  Li'l
                 Joker, he just got out of Youth
                 Authority.  And Baby Joker, he just got
                 out of Juvenile Hall.

                           CRAIG
                 They ever let you hit the switches on
                 that Cadillac?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Naw, them dudes is assholes.  Especially
                 that dog - Cheeco.  Watch this little
                 ass, he's sneaky.  Plus, I got something
                 better than a Cadillac.

       They walk over to his black BMW 325i on chrome rims.

                           CRAIG
                 This you?

                           DAY-DAY
                     (proud)
                 Yeah, that's me.  Just a little somethin'
                 somethin' I picked up.

                           CRAIG
                 Must be nice.  I wish we won the lottery.
                 Come up on a million dollars like ya'll.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Man, after taxes, lawyer fees, and paying
                 off my daddy's bad credit, we didn't end
                 up with a million.  We bought this house
                 and I spent the rest on this.  It's the
                 bomb, huh?

                           CRAIG
                 This my baby.  I feel like a new nigga in
                 this car.  I get mo' phone numbers
                 rollin' this, than I ever did on the bus.

                           MISS HO KYM (O.S.)
                 Hi, Day-Day!

       They turn to spot MISS HO KYM (67), the old Korean lady who
       lives next door.  She's sitting on her porch nursing a cup of
       coffee.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (speaking louder and slower)
                 Hi, Mulan.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 Fuck you, Day-Day.  Who's ya boy?

                           DAY-DAY
                 This my cousin, Craig.  He just moved out
                 here from L.A.  Craig, this is Miss Ho.

       Day-Day smiles at Craig.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 My name is Miss Ho Kym.  Day-Day just
                 trying to be a smart ass.  Nice to meet
                 you, Craig.  Are you 'bout it, 'bout it?

                           CRAIG
                 Excuse me?

                           MISS HO KYM
                 I said...are you 'bout it, 'bout it --
                 rowdy, rowdy?

       Craig can't believe his ears.

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, I'm 'bout it.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 Well, then, it's all good.  Yo, Day-Day,
                 something is going down with those
                 Mexicans across the street?  I've been
                 seeing a lot of activity.

       They all look over at the Joker's house.

                           CRAIG
                 What kind of activity?

                           MISS HO KYM
                 Strange activity.  I think they running
                 drugs off Tijuana.  Day-Day don't believe
                 me.

                           DAY-DAY
                 How do you know for sure?

                           MISS HO KYM
                 I know everything, playboy.  Don't hate,
                 congratulate.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I don't have time, Miss Ho, I'll see you
                 later.

       Day-Day and Craig start to walk back to the house.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 See you later, Day-Day.  Come by after
                 work, I got the John Blaze shit for you.

                           CRAIG
                 Nice to meet you?

                           MISS HO KYM
                 Peace out, Craig.

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Day-Day and Craig enter the house.  They still have the
       furniture from the projects.  Craig looks around.  He spots
       at a few hanging pictures.

                           CRAIG
                 Man, this a cool house.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (picking up a picture)
                 Thanks, I just wish my mother had a
                 chance to see it.

       Mother's picture: she looks like Day-Day with a wig on.
       She's smiling and holding the winning lotto ticket.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 But when she found out we won the money,
                 she had a heart attack.  You know the
                 story.

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah.

       A sad moment.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Go on and make yourself at home.  I'mma
                 go get dressed for work.

                           CRAIG
                 Oh, yeah, where you work at?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Pinky's Records and Disc in the shopping
                 center.  I'mma talk to my boss and see if
                 he got a little position for you.  'Cause
                 you been unemployed for a long time now,
                 Craig.

                           CRAIG
                 Thanks for reminding me.

       Day-Day exits.  Craig is left to look around, until something
       outside catches his eye.

       EXT. HOUSE

       It's D'WANA (20), Day-Day's six-month pregnant girlfriend.
       She's walking on the right side of his BMW.  With one hand
       she waves at Craig...with the other hand she's keying Day-
       Day's car with the skills of a retarded first-grader.

       INT. HOUSE

       Craig waves back, but something ain't right.  Uncle Elroy
       steps in with SUGA (39), his nymphomaniac girlfriend.  She's
       wearing a sexy nightie that's a size too small.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Craig, I want you to meet my old lady,
                 Suga.  Suga, this is Craig.

                           SUGA
                 Oooh, ba-by!

       She gives Craig a big, juicy hug and kiss, grabbing his ass
       in the process.

                           SUGA (cont'd)
                     (hugging and grabbing)
                 You even cuter than your baby pictures.

                           CRAIG
                 Thank you.

                           SUGA
                     (whispering in Craig's ear)
                 You know, I'mma be your new auntie.  We
                 can keep it all in the family if you want
                 to.

       Uncle Elroy un-hugs them.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Okay, okay, that's enough.  Go put on
                 some damn clothes.

                           SUGA
                     (pouting)
                 Elroy.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Suga.  Go ahead and get us something to
                 smoke on.

                           SUGA
                 Okay.
                     (winking)
                 Bye, Craig.

                           CRAIG
                 Nice to meet you.

       Suga walks out.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Man, that girl's gonna kill me one day.
                 Viagra ain't working.  My back keep going
                 out... she don't never get enough.  But
                 check this out.  I got to lay some ground
                 rules.
                     (gets closer to Craig)
                 Your my family and I love you.  You're
                 welcome to anything you want in my home.
                 But I don't wanna catch you in the
                 refrigerator or in my Suga bowl... you
                 feel me knocking?

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Well, let me in.

                           CRAIG
                 Uncle Elroy, who's that girl by Day-Day's
                 car?

       He looks.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Oh, that's D'Wana.  His ex.
                     (yelling upstairs)
                 Day-Day, the crazy bitch is back!

       Day-Day runs down the stairs to get a look.  He's holding a
       piece of paper.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Aw, naw.

       He runs out the door.

       EXT. HOUSE

       D'Wana continues her job.  Day-Day storms over, waving the
       paper.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Girl, you supposed to be 1000 feet from
                 my house.  What you doing over here?

                           D'WANA
                 What it look like I'm doing?  You can't
                 quit me, I'm pregnant!

                           DAY-DAY
                 That ain't my baby!

       Day-Day spots the damage.  He loses it.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                     (in disbelief)
                 Oh, my God!  What you doing?!

       Now he's a madman.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Bitch!  You keyed my car!  I'mma kill
                 you!

       Day-Day charges D'Wana.  She has her pepper spray ready.

                           D'WANA
                 I got your bitch right here.

       D'Wana sprays his face orange.  He stops in his tracks; grabs
       his eyes and screams like a woman.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Awwwww....
                     (staggering)
                 Awwwww....

                           D'WANA
                 I expect you to return all phone calls
                 and take me to lunch today.  I'll be back
                 out here on my break.  Nobody quits me.

       D'Wana runs to her car.  She speeds off.  Uncle Elroy goes
       for the water hose.  Craig grabs Day-Day.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I can't see!  I can't see!  Daddy!

                           CRAIG
                 Lay down, Day-Day.  Stop moving.

       Craig puts him on the grass.

                           DAY-DAY
                 She pepper-sprayed me, man!  She pepper-
                 sprayed me!

                           CRAIG
                 I know, be still.

       Before he can say another word, Uncle Elroy nearly drowns him
       with the water hose.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Boy, you got you a little fatal
                 attraction, huh?  I had two or three of
                 them in my day.

       Day-Day is drowning.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 Craig, I hope you know how to deal with
                 women better than this fool.

       Craig moves the hose.

                           CRAIG
                 That's too much water.

       Now Day-Day is blind and choking.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Help him to his feet.  Let's get him to
                 the bathroom.

       They get him up and into the house.

       INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

       They rush Day-Day into the shower.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (confused)
                 Hold on.  What you doing?

       Uncle Elroy turns on the cold water.  Day-Day screams.  He
       tries to get out.  They push him back in.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Wet your eyes, boy.  Stay in there for
                 about 20 minutes.

                           DAY-DAY
                 20 minutes?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Yeah, 20 minutes.  Trust me.  I've been
                 pepper sprayed nine times.  20 minutes.

       Uncle Elroy slams the door.  Day-Day stands in the shower
       fully dressed and soaking wet.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 Let me show you my back yard.  You know
                 it's bigger than y'all back yard.

       They exit, leaving Day-Day in the shower.

       EXT. ELROY'S BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS

       Uncle Elroy and Craig start to walk around the back yard.  In
       the B.G., we NOTICE giant weed plants everywhere.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Yeah, you gotta have a little money to
                 live out here, Craig.  I never thought
                 I'd be the kinda nigga to move to the
                 suburbs.  But as soon as I got my check,
                 I was gone.  Paid 230 thousand dollars
                 cash on this house.

                           CRAIG
                 You paid cash?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Cash money.  They wasn't gonna stick me
                 with no 30-year payment plan.  That's for
                 suckas.  They got my daddy like that for
                 a Cadillac years ago.  I got the only
                 house on the block that's paid for.
                 That's why I'm the king around here.

       They walk over to the pool.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 You like that pool?

       It's half-full with dirty water.  An upside-down lawn chair
       floats in it.

                           CRAIG
                 It's cool, but where's the water?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Don't need water.  We didn't have no pool
                 in the projects...so none of us swim.

                           CRAIG
                 Y'all never use it?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Never...
                     (humping the air)
                 But me and Suga can get real nasty in
                 that Jacuzzi, though.

       The Jacuzzi water has a purple condom floating in it.  Uncle
       Elroy reaches over and picks it out.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                     (shaking the water off the
                      condom)
                 You welcome get in it anytime you want
                 to.  Shit, you my brother's son.

                           CRAIG
                 That's okay, Unc.  I can't swim, either.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Good.

       EXT. CRACK HOUSE - MORNING

       A run-down crack house sits alone in the middle of the block.
       It looks deserted with chipped paint, overgrown grass and
       security bars everywhere.  Inside we can hear a FIGHT in
       progress.

                           CRACK DEALER (O.S.)
                 Ezal, I'm sick of you coming around here
                 wit no money.

       Suddenly the door flies open and Ezal comes flying out on his
       ass.

                           EZAL
                 I be damned.

       He gets up and brushes himself off.  He heads back into the
       crack house.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 Now look here, man.  I'mma preferred
                 customer and I can take my credit card
                 somewhere else.

       SMACK!  SMACK!  SMACK!  Ezal is roughed up some more and
       flies through the picture window.  GLASS rains down.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 Oh, my neck, oh, my back.  Man, I quit!
                 I'm retired!  Officially!  Life shouldn't
                 be this hard for a crackhead!

       Ezal lays there in pain.  Out of nowhere, a bicycle comes
       INTO FRAME.  Ezal looks up at the rider.  It's Debo.

                           DEBO
                 Where did Craig move to?

                           EZAL
                 I don't know, Debo.

       Debo rolls on top of him with the front tire.  Ezal is
       smashed and in more pain.

                           DEBO
                 What you say?

                           EZAL
                     (hurting)
                 He moved out to Rancho Cucamonga with his
                 cousin Day-Day.

                           DEBO
                 Rancho Cucamonga?

                           EZAL
                 Yeah.

       Debo thinks about it.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 I can't breathe.

       He rolls off of Ezal.  Relief.

                           DEBO
                 Get on.

                           EZAL
                 Man, we can't ride to Rancho Cucamonga on
                 that.

                           DEBO
                 Get on!

       Ezal hops on the handlebars quick.  They start to ride off.

                           EZAL
                 Just don't go over the curb.

       Debo rides over the curb and into the street.  The journey
       begins.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 Watch my balls!

       INT. DAY-DAY'S ROOM - MORNING

       Day-Day's room is junky.  Clothes are everywhere.  He's
       putting on his Pinky's Records and Disc T-shirt.  Craig comes
       in.

                           CRAIG
                 You straight?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yeah, I'm alright.  Is my face still
                 orange to you?

       Day-Day's face looks sunburned.

                           CRAIG
                 Just a little.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I can't taste nothing.

                           CRAIG
                 What's the matter with your girlfriend?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Man, it's a long story.  I met D'Wana
                 three months ago.  She had a little pudge
                 in her stomach but I didn't pay it no
                 attention.  Come to find out, she six
                 months pregnant.  Saying I'm the daddy!

                           CRAIG
                 What?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yeah, I broke up with her two Fridays ago
                 and she's been harassing me ever since.
                 She don't care about the restraining
                 order or nothing.

                           CRAIG
                 Restraining order?  Where the hell you
                 meet this girl?

                           DAY-DAY
                 I went back to Watts to sell my old car
                 and met her on the way.  Worst day of my
                 life.

                           CRAIG
                 Damn, you got a stalker.

                           DAY-DAY
                 That ain't the worst part.  Her little
                 sister, Baby D.  She's the one that gets
                 real physical.  But I got a restraining
                 order on her, too.

                           CRAIG
                 You got a restraining order on a little
                 girl named Baby D?

                           DAY-DAY
                     (very serious)
                 You don't know Baby D.

       He looks at his watch.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 I gotta get to Pinky's before I get fired
                 like you.

       Day-Day exits.  Craig is close behind.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       As they walk out the front door, someone catches Craig's eye.
       It's KARLA (23), the Joker brothers' fine sister.  She's
       leaning against the lowrider, looking into her purse.  She
       waves at them.

                           KARLA
                     (friendly)
                 Hi!

       Craig and Day-Day are mesmerized.

                           BOTH
                     (waving back)
                 HEY!

       Craig and Karla's eyes meet.  She smiles.

                           CRAIG
                 Who is that?

                           DAY-DAY
                 That's the sister.

                           CRAIG
                 Yo know what?  I'm starting to like
                 Rancho Cucamonga.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I know what 'cha thinking.  I thought the
                 same thing.  But it can't happen.

                           CRAIG
                 Why?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Because, it's been a little tension
                 between us ever since they got out the
                 joint and ran their momma crazy.  And I'm
                 just trying to keep the peace.  We moved
                 out here to get away from that shit.

       Day-Day walks over to his Beamer.  Craig follows.

       CLOSE-UP

       Big scratch on the side of Day-Day's car.

       WIDER

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 It ain't that bad, is it?

       Craig is still looking at Karla.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Craig!  It ain't that bad, is it?

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, it's bad.  And that scratch make it
                 ugly.

       Day-Day is starting to get mad.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 It's long and crooked...make you not
                 wanna even drive it.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Alright, alright... I see what you
                 talking about.

       Karla looks at her watch and starts to walk up the street.
       This is Craig's chance.

                           CRAIG
                 Hold up, Day-Day.

       He trots after her.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Let it go.

       Karla is still walking.

                           CRAIG
                 Hey!  Hey!

       She stops and waits for him.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 I'm Day-Day's cousin, Craig.  What's your
                 name?

                           KARLA
                 Karla.

                           CRAIG
                 Craig and Karla, damn that sound pretty
                 good together.  Where you going?

                           KARLA
                 To the Cucamonga shopping center.

                           CRAIG
                 Oh yeah, why you walking?

                           KARLA
                 My brothers won't give me a ride.

       Day-Day is about to have a heart attack.  He's looking back
       and forth between Craig and Karla, and the Joker's house
       where somebody is looking out the window.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (to himself)
                 Just get the number and come on.  Just
                 get the number and come on.

       Back at the "Love Connection," Craig has Karla smiling.

                           CRAIG
                 You want us to give you a ride?

                           KARLA
                 I don't know.

                           CRAIG
                 What you mean, you don't know?  Just wait
                 here.

       Craig starts to trot over towards Day-Day.  Day-Day is
       frantically waving Craig to hurry.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 What are you worried about?

       Day-Day's eyes get as big as golf balls.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Cheeco!

       Craig turns to see the pit bull "Cheeco" running right after
       him.

                           KARLA
                 Cheeco, no!

       Craig runs right towards Day-Day's BMW.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Oh shit, jump!

       They both jump on top of Day-Day's BMW with CHEECO coming up
       fast.  He's BARKING viciously.

       ACROSS STREET

       Joker, Li'l Joker and Baby Joker are across the street
       laughing.  Karla is embarrassed.

       ON BMW

       Craig is breathing hard but he's calm, but Day-Day is
       terrified.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Hey, Joker!  Stop playing, man!  Call the
                 dog back!

       They continue to laugh.  Craig pulls his belt off.  He swings
       it and hits Cheeco in the middle of his forehead with the
       buckle.  The DOG CRIES and runs back across the street.

       The Jokers aren't laughing anymore.  Joker stares at Craig.
       Craig stares back.  You can feel the tension.  Joker kicks
       the dog.

                           JOKER
                 Get yo dumb ass in the back.

       CHEECO HOLLERS.  Craig and Day-Day get off the top of the
       BMW.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Look at my roof.

       Big dents in the roof of his BMW.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Man, why you do that?  I told you not to
                 talk to that girl.

                           CRAIG
                 Why not?  She was cool with it.

       Day-Day gets into the car.

                           DAY-DAY
                 So.

                           CRAIG
                 What you mean, so?

                           DAY-DAY
                 If you 'get into it' with them S.A.'s and
                 start a feud, you can always go back to
                 home.  I gotta live here.  Just remember
                 that.

       He slams the door, starts the car and backs up.  Leaving
       Craig standing there.  He sees Karla walking away.  He looks
       over at the Jokers.  They're still staring hard.  Craig just
       looks away and walks into the house.

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Craig steps into the house.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Nephew, you got perfect timing...

       Uncle Elroy is sitting on the couch.  He has a Phillies'
       Blunt (cigar) in one hand, a razor blade in the other.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 We about to start a little puff, puff
                 give in this mothafucka.  Are you down?

       Suga is sippin' on a glass of wine.  She moves over, making
       room in the middle.

                           SUGA
                     (patting the couch)
                 Come on, Craig.  Sit down right here.

       Craig does.  Suga moves closer, boxing him in nice and tight.
       Uncle Elroy licks the cigar.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I know you smoke weed, right?

                           CRAIG
                 Why you say that?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 'Cause your lips is getting black.

       Uncle Elroy takes the razor and starts to cut the cigar the
       long way.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 All I smoke is blunts.  Them fuckin'
                 Zigzags don't do nothing for me.

       Uncle Elroy scrapes the cigar shavings into a nearby trash
       can (that's overflowing with cigar shavings already).  Suga
       presses against Craig.

                           SUGA
                 Would you like a glass of wine, baby?

                           CRAIG
                 No thank you. It's too early.

       Uncle Elroy stuffs the open cigar full of weed.  He's
       concentrating.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Boy, I can roll a blunt better than them
                 bitches in Havana.  I know Willie don't
                 let'cha smoke in the house, but I'm ya
                 uncle.  I don't care how high you get in
                 my house.  Long as you let me hit it...

       He licks and rolls.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 Look at that.

       It's perfect.

                           SUGA
                 Fire it up, Roy.

       Uncle Elroy grabs the lighter.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Now I'mma show you the real "Puff Daddy."

       He lights the blunt.  Craig's watching, so is Suga.  Uncle
       Elroy holds the smoke in for a very long time.  Maybe too
       long...'cause his eyes start to bulge, and he starts to toke
       (cough with your mouth closed).  And toke.  And toke.  And
       toke.  It looks like he's about to bust when he lets out a
       big puff of smoke.  Then he starts to cough, and cough, and
       cough out of control.

       Craig and Suga are amazed at this display.  Uncle Elroy falls
       to the floor on his hands and knees.  Still coughing.  He
       falls on his back and passes the blunt to Craig.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                     (still coughing)
                 It's the Bombay.

       Craig takes the blunt and puts it up to his lips.  He hits
       it, holds it in and looks at Suga.  Suddenly, his eyes bulge
       out and he starts to toke, and toke, and toke, and toke.  He
       starts to cough out of control and he falls next to Uncle
       Elroy who's still coughing.  Craig passes the blunt to Suga,
       who looks at it for a moment and then looks directly INTO the
       CAMERA.  (As if to say, "Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.").

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - 15 MINUTES LATER

       All three are passed out on the couch.  Uncle Elroy is
       snoring with a little slobber hanging.  Craig's knocked out
       with his mouth open.  Suga's head is not secure and she's
       starting to bob.  She bobs so hard that her head falls in
       Craig's lap.  He wakes up and looks down.

                           CRAIG
                 Suga.

       He looks over at Uncle Elroy who's looking over at him.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Negro, what the hell you doing to my
                 woman?

                           CRAIG
                     (confused and dazed)
                 I don't know!

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Suga!

                           SUGA
                     (face in lap)
                 Huh?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 What you doing to my nephew?

                           SUGA
                     (lifting her head)
                 Ah, baby...I thought this was you.
                     (to Craig)
                 Craig, what are you doing to me?

                           CRAIG
                 I don't know, I think I passed out or
                 something.  I don't remember.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Passed out?  Can't hang, huh?  Boy, I
                 knew you was a lightweight.  Passed out
                 on one funky ass blunt.  They don't make
                 'em like they used to, baby.

       Uncle Elroy staggers to his feet.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 Come on, woman.  I'm faded and feeling X-
                 rated.  It's Mr. Nasty time.

                           SUGA
                 Mr. Nasty time?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Mr. Nasty time.
                     (grabbing his back)
                 But take it easy on me, girl.

                           SUGA
                 Craig, you ain't the only lightweight
                 around here.

       Suga takes Elroy's hand.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Make yourself at home.

       They both stumble upstairs leaving Craig all alone.  It's too
       quiet now.  He grabs the remote and TURNS ON the TV.  Flicks
       a few channels.  He picks up the blunt and the lighter.

       ON TV

       A public service announcement from King/Drew Rehab Center.
       It's SMOKEY!

                           SMOKEY (V.O.)
                 Hi, my name is Smokey.  And I'm a bud-
                 head.  But here at the King/Drew Rehab
                 Center, they help you curve your crave
                 for marijuana but still let you get your
                 drank on.

       He lifts a 22 oz. bottle of Olde English.

                           SMOKEY (cont'd) (V.O.)
                 It's too hard to stop everything all at
                 once.  So some days they let you smoke,
                 but not drank.  And other days you can
                 drank, but not smoke.  And if you're
                 really making progress, the nurses will
                 get fucked up wit you.  Helping you kick
                 the habit by smoking up all yo shit.  So
                 come down to the King/Drew Rehab Center
                 and put down the joint, but B.Y.O.B.,
                 man!

       BACK ON COUCH

       Craig is high.  He's looking at the TV with a slight smile on
       his face.  It seems like the walls are shaking.  He looks
       over at Suga's glass and her wine is vibrating, like Jurassic
       Park.  Plaster falls from the ceiling.  He listens, it's
       Uncle Elroy and Suga making love.

                           UNCLE ELROY (O.S.)
                 Oh, baby, right there.  Right
                 there...bite the nipple, baby.  Bite it!
                 Bite it!  Yeah, mothafucka -- yeah, come
                 on, baby, get busy...

       His eavesdropping is interrupted by a loud KNOCK on the door.
       Craig is so comfortable, he doesn't want to move.  The
       KNOCKING gets LOUDER.

                           DELIVERY GUY (O.S.)
                 Delivery!

                           CRAIG
                 Hold on.

       Craig gets up slowly and starts to clean the area.  The
       KNOCKING CONTINUES.

                           DELIVERY GUY (O.S.)
                 Delivery!

                           CRAIG
                 I said hold on!

                           DELIVERY GUY (O.S.)
                 Could you hurry up, please... it's kinda
                 hot out here.

       Craig stops what he's doing and swings the door open.

       ON PORCH

       The DELIVERY GUY, a thirtysomething asshole with tight shorts
       and a buzz cut, is looking into the house.

                           CRAIG
                 Can I help you?

                           DELIVERY GUY
                 Nice house. Didn't expect you to answer.
                 You must be one of those entertainers.
                 What team you play for?

                           CRAIG
                 I don't play for no team.

                           DELIVERY GUY
                 Come on, jerky, you can tell me.  Got a
                 white wife, huh?  Blonde bombshell type.
                 Remember what happen to O.J... what team
                 do you play for?  You're not related to
                 the Jacksons, are you?

                           CRAIG
                     (in his face)
                 Naw, I play for the Chocamunga Cracker
                 Killers.  You want tickets?

                           DELIVERY GUY
                 Okay, buddy.  Don't send your entourage
                 out here to do a 187 on me.  It's just a
                 certified mail delivery.

       He hands Craig a letter.

                           DELIVERY GUY (cont'd)
                 Sign here.

       Craig signs.

                           CRAIG
                 What is it?

                           DELIVERY GUY
                 Delinquent Property Tax Notice... I hope
                 the Cracker Killers pay well 'cause if
                 not, back to the ghetto you go.  Wife
                 stays here, of course.

       He laughs and walks off singing the "Good Times" jingle.

                           DELIVERY GUY (cont'd)
                 '...temporary layoffs?  Good
                 Times...hustling and surviving... Good
                 Times...ain't we lucky we got'em...' Oh
                 shit!

       Cheeco starts to chase him down the street.  Craig looks at
       the notice.  "DELINQUENT! YOUR HOUSE WILL BE SEIZED AND
       AUCTIONED -- TOMORROW AT 9AM  PAY TODAY!"

                           CRAIG
                 Oh damn.

       He SLAMS the DOOR.  We FOLLOW Craig upstairs TO Uncle Elroy's
       room.  He knocks softly.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Uncle Elroy?

       No answer.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Uncle Elroy, you got a tax notice.

       Still no answer.  He turns the knob.  It's open.

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

       Craig steps into Uncle Elroy's freak palace.  Black lights,
       candles, velvet posters - the works.  There's even a leather
       fuck swing hanging from the ceiling.  Uncle Elroy and Suga
       are asleep in a leopard-skin waterbed.  Craig is amazed.  He
       slowly walks over to the bed.  Uncle Elroy is calling the
       hogs.  Snoring.

                           CRAIG
                     (whispering)
                 Uncle Elroy...Uncle Elroy?

       He's about to shake him when Uncle Elroy lets out a big
       grunt.  It startles Craig.  He looks over at Suga.  She's
       completely under the covers.  Uncle Elroy rolls over on his
       stomach, then he rolls on his back again.  Craig shakes him.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Uncle Elroy, wake up.  You got a letter
                 today.

       No response.  Craig tries again.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Unc.

       Uncle Elroy jumps up like a hibernating grizzly.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                     (half asleep)
                 Come on here, Suga...

       He goes after Craig, who has to fight him off.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 I like it rough now.

                           CRAIG
                 Naw, naw!  Unc, wake up!  It's me!  Wake
                 up!

       Uncle Elroy grabs him in a bear hug and slams him on the bed.

       Craig finds himself caught between Suga and Uncle Elroy, but
       now everything is totally still and quiet.  Uncle Elroy
       starts to snore again.  He's asleep.  The coast is clear now.
       Craig tries to make his escape.  He crawls over Suga to get
       away.  She grabs him and starts to kiss him.

                           SUGA
                     (half asleep)
                 Ohhh, baby!

       Craig breaks away and tries to hurry out the room.  On his
       exit, he hangs himself on the "fuck swing" and hits the floor
       with a thud.  He scrambles to his feet, then he's out of
       there.  Uncle Elroy and Suga lay asleep as if nothing ever
       happened.

       IN HALLWAY

       Craig tries to gain his composure.  He gets an idea.

       EXT. BUSY CITY STREET - AFTERNOON

       Debo is riding Ezal on the handlebars.

                           EZAL
                 We gotta stop or something, man.  My ass
                 is hurting.  This handlebar is hard.

       Debo keeps riding.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 Debo!  Debo!  Now you stuck on stupid.

       He finally stops at a pay phone.  Ezal jumps off and grabs
       his ass.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 My God...gotta walk it out, walk it out.
                 Man, it's gonna take us a week to ride
                 out there.

                           DEBO
                 Shut up!  He still eats here every day!

       EXT. SANDWICH JOINT - ACROSS STREET - CONTINUOUS

       Mr. Jones' dog truck sits in front.

                           DEBO
                 Here's the plan.  You gonna call over
                 there and say you have a very urgent
                 message for Mr. William Jones.

                           EZAL
                 What urgent message?

                           DEBO
                 If you shut up I'll tell you.  The urgent
                 message is...Drop everything!  Craig is
                 in trouble.  Come quick, don't call.

                           EZAL
                 That ain't gonna work.

       Debo slaps him in the back of the head.

                           DEBO
                 Just do it.

                           EZAL
                 I don't know the number.

       Smack!  Debo slaps him again.

                           DEBO
                 It's on the outside of the building, now
                 pick the phone up!

       Ezal picks up the phone.  He starts to dial.

                           EZAL
                 Hello...Yeah, I got an urgent message for
                 a nigga named Mr. Willie Jones.

       Debo slaps him again.

                           DEBO
                 William.

                           EZAL
                 Yeah, I got a urgent message for a
                 customer named William Jones.  Drop
                 everything, Craig is in trouble.  Come
                 quick.  Don't try to call.

       Ezal hangs up the phone.

                           EZAL (cont'd)
                 Man, you better stop hittin' on me for I
                 do you like Craig did you.

                           DEBO
                 Let's go.

       Debo and Ezal run across the street to the dog truck.  Debo
       opens the back and lets all the dogs out.  They run for it.

                           DEBO (cont'd)
                 After I get in, close the door.

       Debo is a hard fit.  Ezal stuffs him in there.

                           EZAL
                 You too big.

                           DEBO
                 Keep pushing.

       Finally he's in.  Ezal gets in and slams the door shut.  Just
       then, Mr. Jones comes running out the joint with a sandwich
       in hand.

                           MR. JONES
                 Oh my God!

       He gets in and speeds off.

       EXT. CUCAMONGA SHOPPING CENTER - AFTERNOON

       Cars pull in and out of this 12 store strip mall where
       Pinky's is located.

       INT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - AFTERNOON

       Everything is pink inside this mom and pop record store.  The
       latest RAP HIT PLAYS in the B.G.  A few people exit the store
       with bags.

       Day-Day is scanning inventory.  A bud-head by the name of
       ROACH is on top of the counter with his skateboard.

                           ROACH
                 Yo, Day-Day!  Check me out.

       He tries to jump off the counter and land perfectly on his
       board.  Wrong!  Off the board and on his ass.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Look, Roach, I know you ain't never
                 worked in a record shop before and you're
                 a little excited.  But if Pinky catches
                 you doing that X-Games shit off his
                 counter top, we both getting fired.  You
                 feel me?

                           ROACH
                 I feel you.  I've just been practicing
                 that one move all week.
                     (disappointed)
                 I thought that was it.

       An unhappy CUSTOMER walks in holding a CD without the cover.

                           CUSTOMER #1
                 I can't get jiggy with this shit.
                     (getting loud)
                 Where is the damn manager?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Sir, the manager stepped out for a
                 moment.  I'm currently running the store.
                 Can I see the CD?

       The customer throws the CD on the counter.  Day-Day picks it
       up.

                           CUSTOMER #1
                 No, give me my damn money back.  Right
                 now, and I don't have no damn receipt
                 neither.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Okay, sir...but where's the cover?

                           CUSTOMER #1
                 I don't have no damn cover.

       Craig walks in with the notice in hand.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I can't give you your damn money back on
                 this.

                           CUSTOMER #1
                 Bullshit!  I'll go postal in this
                 mothafucka!

                           DAY-DAY
                 Well, you gonna have to go postal then.

       The customer KNOCKS over a counter display and then turns to
       get away.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Hey!

       Craig bumps him and he falls into the Rap cassette rack.

                           CUSTOMER #1
                 I'm sorry!  Don't hit me!  Don't hit me.

       He jumps up and slips on a few more cassettes on his scramble
       out the door.

                           DAY-DAY
                 ...and if you come back, it's gonna be
                 worse.

       Roach can't believe what just happened.

                           ROACH
                 Did you see that?  That was a W.W.F. hit
                 right there, huh, Day-Day?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yeah, it was.  How you get up here?

                           CRAIG
                 I walked.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You walked?

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, ya'll got a notice today.  It came
                 certified mail.

       He gives it to Day-Day.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Craig, this Roach.  Roach, this is my
                 cousin, Craig.

                           ROACH
                 What up, bro?

       Craig nods his head.

                           CRAIG
                 I tried to wake up Uncle Elroy but he
                 thought I was Suga.

       Day-Day reads the notice.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You know what this is?

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, that's why I walked down here.

                           ROACH
                 What it say?

       Day-Day ignores Roach.

                           DAY-DAY
                 How can they do this?

                           CRAIG
                 I don't know.  Did ya'll forget to pay it
                 or something?

                           ROACH
                 What it say?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Ever since my momma died the bills are
                 always late.

                           CRAIG
                 See how much it is?

       Day-Day opens it.  A PHONE starts to RING.

                           ROACH
                 What is it?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Don't worry about it, man.  Get the
                 phone.

       Roach skateboards over to the phone.

                           ROACH
                 Pinky's.

       Day-Day reads on.

                           DAY-DAY
                 It says we owe $3,900...by tomorrow.

                           CRAIG
                 Damn...how much money ya'll got left from
                 the lottery?

       Day-Day goes for his bank book.  He flips a few pages.

                           DAY-DAY
                 $247.

                           CRAIG
                 Okay, plan B.

       Day-Day is overwhelmed.  Roach skates back over.

                           ROACH
                 That was a girl on a cell phone.  She
                 said she's outside in the parking lot
                 waiting for you to take her to lunch.

       Day-Day looks at Craig.  He runs over to the door.

       OUTSIDE IN THE PARKING LOT

       D'Wana sits in her car with her play sister BABY'D (her name
       does not fit her body).

                           DAY-DAY
                 Oh my God.  That's D'Wana.  And she got
                 Baby'D with her.

       Day-Day locks the door and runs into the back.  Craig and
       Roach follow.

                           CRAIG
                 What's the matter?

                           DAY-DAY
                 D'Wana brought Baby'D up here.

                           ROACH
                 That the big one, huh?

                           DAY-DAY
                 You damn right that's the big one.

       The PHONE starts to RING again.  D'Wana and Baby'D are at the
       door.  D'Wana is on her phone.  Baby'D starts to knock.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 Craig, go out there and tell 'em I'm
                 gone.

                           CRAIG
                 I ain't trying to get in it.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You already in.

       The knocking gets louder.

                           CRAIG
                 No I'm not.

                           ROACH
                 I'll do it.

                           DAY-DAY
                 No.  You can't handle a girl like D'Wana.
                 It's got to be Craig.

       AT FRONT DOOR

       They observe the "Yes We're Open" sign.

                           D'WANA
                 That white boy said he was in there.

                           BABY'D
                 Day-Day, don't make me break this window!

       Craig is peeking out.  He hesitates.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Watch out for Baby'D.

       Craig walks out the back.  He steps over the door.  Unlocks
       it, and cracks it open.

                           CRAIG
                 Day-Day ain't here.

       They don't believe him.

                           D'WANA
                 Who are you?

                           CRAIG
                 I'm his cousin.

                           BABY'D
                 You suppose to work here now or
                 something?

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, I work here now.

                           D'WANA
                 We didn't come here for Day-Day.

                           CRAIG
                 Yes you did.

                           D'WANA
                 No we didn't.  We came to buy a CD.

                           BABY'D
                 Now move.

       Baby'D kicks the door.  Craig has no choice but to let 'em
       in.

                           D'WANA
                 Where's that boy that told me Day-Day was
                 here?

                           CRAIG
                 I don't know... I think he went out the
                 back.

                           D'WANA
                 Can I look for myself?

       Suddenly Roach is pushed into the front area.

                           ROACH
                 Hey, ladies.

                           D'WANA
                 Where's Day-Day?

                           ROACH
                 I don't know, he must've left.

       D'Wana looks at Baby'D.

                           CRAIG
                 I thought ya'll wanted to buy a CD?

                           BABY'D
                 I do... can you help me find the jazz
                 section?

       Craig looks at Roach for directions.  He nods over towards
       the front of the store.

                           CRAIG
                 Right this way.  You know damn well you
                 don't listen to no jazz.

       Baby'D checks out Craig as he leads the way.  D'Wana looks
       around.

                           D'WANA
                 If Day-Day comes back, tell him I came by
                 and need to see him.  Lamaze classes are
                 Wednesday.

                           ROACH
                 Will do.

       D'Wana starts to walk towards Craig and Baby'D.

                           D'WANA
                 Come on, 'D, let's go.

       But first she doubles back towards the storage room.

                           CRAIG
                 Where you going?

                           D'WANA
                 Ain't the rest room this way?  I gotta
                 pee.

                           ROACH
                 Yeah.

                           D'WANA
                 Thank you.

       As she's walking in the back, Roach realizes his mistake.

       BACK STORAGE AREA

                           DAY-DAY
                 Shit.

       Day-Day makes a run for it.  She spots him ducking out the
       back door.

                           D'WANA
                 He's in there!

       INSIDE STORE

       Baby'D knocks Craig out of the way.

                           BABY'D
                 Where is he?

                           D'WANA
                 He ran out the door.

       Baby'D gives chase with D'Wana, Craig and Roach close behind.

       EXT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - CONTINUOUS

       Day-Day runs around the side of Pinky's Records store.  He
       stops to see if anyone is coming.  It's Baby'D with the three
       others trailing.  Baby'D is chasing Day-Day all through the
       parking lot.  Craig, D'Wana and Roach stop to watch.

                           ROACH
                 Haul ass, dude.  Don't stop.

       ...and he is.

                           CRAIG
                 You better stop running from that girl.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Fuuuuuuck -- U!

       He runs back towards his BMW.  The chase continues around his
       car.  Baby'D is starting to tire.

                           DAY-DAY (cont'd)
                 I'mma shoot yo' big ass.

       D'Wana watches from a distance.  Craig and Roach are close.

                           ROACH
                     (smiling)
                 She moves well for a big girl.

       Just then, out of nowhere, Karla appears behind them carrying
       a couple of bags.  She taps Craig on his shoulder.  He turns
       around.

                           KARLA
                 Hello, remember me?

                           CRAIG
                 Hell yeah, I remember you.

                           KARLA
                 I'm sorry for what my brother did this
                 morning.  They're assholes.

                           CRAIG
                 It's cool.  You ain't got to apologize
                 for your brothers.  They're big boys.

                           KARLA
                 I just wanted to give you this.

       She hands him a card with her number on it.

                           KARLA (cont'd)
                 If my brothers wasn't so over-protective,
                 I'd have you call the house.  But for now
                 just page me when you get a chance.

                           CRAIG
                 Most definitely.

                           KARLA
                 Better sooner than later.

       She picks up her shopping bags and walks away.  Over at the
       chase: Baby'D is winded.  She bends over trying to catch her
       breath.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Baby'D, you're not going to catch me as
                 usual.  So what can we do to end it this
                 time?  What you want?  Another Big Pun
                 CD?  'Cause I gotta get back to work.

       Baby'D looks over at Craig.

                           BABY'D
                 Okay, I know what I want this time.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Anything you need.

                           BABY'D
                 Yo' cousin, Craig.  Hook us up.

                           DAY-DAY
                 That's it?

                           BABY'D
                 Just tell him to come over here and talk
                 to me.

                           DAY-DAY
                 And I can go free?

                           BABY'D
                 Go, fo' I change my mind.

       Day-Day carefully walks back over towards the store.  D'Wana
       pouts and walks towards Baby'D.  (If looks could kill.)

                           ROACH
                 Great moves, Day-Day.

                           CRAIG
                 What happen?

                           DAY-DAY
                 We worked out a deal.  All you gotta do
                 is go over there and talk to Baby'D.

       Craig looks over at Baby'D.  She's waiting.

                           CRAIG
                 What you mean talk to her?

                           ROACH
                     (still smiling)
                 You know what he mean, dude.

                           CRAIG
                 I'm gone.

       Craig turns and sprints into the store.  Baby'D looks
       concerned.  Day-Day grabs Roach and they run into the store.

                           BABY'D
                 I'mma get you, Day-Day!  You gotta come
                 out sometimes!

       D'Wana hands her a brick.

                           D'WANA
                 I told you.

       Baby'D screams and throws the brick through Day-Day's
       WINDSHIELD.

       INT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - CONTINUOUS

                           DAY-DAY
                 What was that?

                           ROACH
                     (looking out window)
                 You don't wanna know.

       Day-Day is devastated.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Thanks a lot, Craig.

                           CRAIG
                 I know we cousins and all, but don't try
                 an' hook me up with the big little
                 sisters.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Big bitches need love, too, Craig.

                           ROACH
                 For sure.  That's how I like 'em.

                           CRAIG
                 Not me.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Are they still out there?

                           ROACH
                 Negative...they vamped.

       Day-Day starts to walk into the back storage area.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 Shouldn't we straighten up out here
                 before Pinky gets back?

       Day-Day is like a zombie now.  He doesn't answer, just keeps
       walking.

                           CRAIG
                 Day-Day?

       No answer.  Craig looks at Roach.  They follow.

       BACK STORAGE AREA

       Day-Day sits with the notice in hand.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Today ain't my day.

                           ROACH
                 Bummer, huh?  And Friday is suppose to be
                 a kick-ass day.

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah it is...the best day before the
                 weekend.

                           ROACH
                 That's fuckin' poetic, Craig.

       Day-Day is still sad.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 I know how you feeling.  And if I had my
                 bong right now, I'd let you 'toke 'til
                 you choke.'  Dude, right here.  All out.
                 No lungs.  All I got is this.

       Roach pulls out a big, smashed brownie with green shit in it.

                           CRAIG
                 What's the green stuff poking out?

                           ROACH
                 That's cron-don, sir.  My mom hates for
                 me to smoke, so she made me bud-brownies.
                 Wanna bite?

                           CRAIG
                 Naw, I already ate.

                           ROACH
                 Come on, Day, try it.  For moms.

       Day-Day shakes his head.  Craig reaches into his fifth
       pocket.

                           CRAIG
                 It ain't a bong but, wa-la!

       He has the joint from this morning.

                           ROACH
                 Wo!

       Roach snatches it.

                           CRAIG
                 Hey.

       Craig snatches it back.

                           ROACH
                 Sorry, bro, reflexes.  How did you do
                 that?

                           CRAIG
                 Black magic.

       Day-Day snatches the joint and puts it in his mouth.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Give me dat.  I'm the one with the
                 problem.

       Roach pulls out a mini-skateboard that's actually a lighter.

                           ROACH
                 Weed doesn't solve problems.  It eases
                 the mind, and the soul.  Enjoy.

       He lights the joint.  Day-Day takes a hit.

                           CRAIG
                 I didn't think you smoked bud that much.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (letting out the smoke)
                 I don't.

                           ROACH
                     (taking the joint)
                 I do.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Damn nigga, don't Jack the joint.  I
                 didn't even pass it.

                           ROACH
                     (hitting it good)
                 Sorry, dude.

                           CRAIG
                 You better open up a window or something
                 before the smell gets out.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Ain't no windows in here.

                           ROACH
                 I got an idea.

       He hands the joint to Craig.  Gets up and closes the door.
       Then he grabs the vacuum out of the corner.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 This is a little theory of mine... it
                 should work.

       He plugs in the VACUUM and TURNS it ON.  He puts the nozzle
       in Day-Day's face.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Blow.

                           CRAIG
                 That ain't gonna work.

                           ROACH
                 Fuck yeah.

       Day-Day hits the 'J and blows into the nozzle.  It quickly
       sucks up the smoke.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (passing the 'J)
                 It works.

                           CRAIG
                 Still gonna smell it.

                           ROACH
                 No way.  Watch this.

       Roach hits the joint harder than anyone else.  Smoke starts
       to come out of his ears.  Craig and Day-Day get a kick out of
       that.

       EXT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - CONTINUOUS

       A pink limo pulls to a stop.  The chauffeur gets out wearing
       his suit just a little too tight.  He opens the door and a
       pair of pink boots hit the pavement.  The CAMERA PANS UP TO
       PINKY (35), the asshole owner.

                           PINKY
                 Look, man, you hittin' them goddamn
                 corners too fast.  Slow down.  I almost
                 spilled my Hennessy on this 300 dollar
                 suit.

       He walks over to the door.  He thinks it's open.  It's not.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 I be damn.

       He shakes the door.  It's locked.  He looks inside.  No one's
       at the counter.  Cassettes all over the floor.  Pinky looks
       around making sure no one sneaks up on him.  He reaches under
       his shirt and pulls out a Glock 9mm.  Sticks his key in the
       door and steps in.

       BACK STORE AREA - CLOSE UP - ROACH

       is upside down.  All the blood has rushed to his head.  He
       has Chinaman eyes and a big smile on his face.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Roach, what are you doing?

                           ROACH
                 R-U-S-H Intensely.

       A big cloud of smoke rolls out of his mouth and he falls and
       hits the deck.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 My spleen.

       Craig and Day-Day laugh at Roach.  The VACUUM is still GOING
       but the room is very smoky.  Craig jumps in.

                           CRAIG
                     (unplugging the vacuum)
                 This vacuum don't work.  Where's the
                 restroom?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Out the door and to the left.

                           ROACH
                 I thought the vacuum would work.

       IN HALLWAY

       Craig makes a left and grabs the knob.  He feels something
       pressing on the back of his head (gun).

                           PINKY
                     (whispering)
                 Don't move or I'll blow your head smooth
                 off.

       Craig throws his hands up.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 Now back up slowly... and don't say a
                 word.

       He obeys.  Pinky backs Craig into the store.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 Get on the floor.

       Craig gets down.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 Little mothafucka trying to rob me.
                 I'mma show you how I do 'em.

                           CRAIG
                 I ain't trying to rob you...

                           PINKY
                 Shut up!  Fo' I pump this Glock in yo'
                 ass!  What did you do wit Day-Day and
                 Roach?

                           CRAIG
                 Man, Day-Day is my people!

                           PINKY
                 I said shut up!  Now who sent you?

                           CRAIG
                 Nobody!

                           PINKY
                 If you say another word, it's over.  I'm
                 not playing!

       Pinky starts to pat down Craig's pockets.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 You ain't got no gun, but where's the
                 weed at?  I smell it.

       Craig says nothing.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 I'mma tie you ass up!

       Pinky backs up and steps on Roach's skateboard.  The gun goes
       flying and so does he.  Pinky falls on his ass.  The 9mm
       lands in front of Craig.  There's a big scramble for the gun.

       BACK STORAGE AREA

       The mood is serious.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I gotta think of a plan to get this money
                 before tomorrow.

                           ROACH
                 You could sell your Beamer.

       Day-Day gives Roach the evil-eye.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 My bad.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I don't know.  I hope Craig got a good
                 idea.  We gotta ask him when he comes
                 out.  Let's go and clean up before Pinky
                 gets here.

                           ROACH
                 Maybe you can ask him to loan you the
                 money.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yoooo, that's it.  You ain't as dumb as I
                 think you are, Roach.

                           ROACH
                 I know.

       BACK INSIDE STORE

       Pinky and Craig are still scrambling for the gun.  The store
       looks like a tornado hit it.  Twice.  Craig comes up with the
       pistol.  Pinky jumps on the ground.

                           PINKY
                 Don't kill me.

       Craig is exhausted.  He stands over Pinky with the gun.

                           CRAIG
                 Shut up.  I been trying to tell yo' ass
                 that... Day-Day is my cousin.  They're
                 right there in the back.

                           PINKY
                 Whatever you say, man.  I didn't see
                 shit.  The safe combination is 34-5-27.
                 Just take it all.

       Just then, Day-Day and Roach come from the back.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Craig, what the hell are you doing?

                           CRAIG
                 Nothing.

                           PINKY
                 Day-Day, is this your cousin?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yeah.

                           PINKY
                 Good.  You fired...and, Roach, your fired
                 too.

                           ROACH
                 Why me?

                           PINKY
                 I smell weed.

       He looks up at Craig.

                           PINKY (cont'd)
                 And you...you lucky.  I was just about to
                 get in yo' ass.  Now give me my pistol
                 back and get the hell out my store.

       Craig looks at Day-Day.  Day-Day looks back at him.  Nobody's
       high now.

       EXT. FREEWAY - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - AFTERNOON

       Mr. Jones' dog truck is weaving in and out of traffic.

       INT. TRUCK - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - CONTINUOUS

       Mr. Jones is driving and eating at the same time.  He
       finishes off the last few bites of his sandwich.

                           MR. JONES
                 Just hold on, Craig.  I'm on my way.

       INT. BACK OF TRUCK - MONTAGE SEQUENCE

       Debo and Ezal are smashed inside the dog cages.

                           EZAL
                 Debo!  Debo!

                           DEBO
                 What?

                           EZAL
                 I can't feel my legs no more.

                           DEBO
                 Me neither.  How far is Rancho Cucamonga?

                           EZAL
                 I don't know.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - MONTAGE SEQUENCE

       The Beamer pulls into the driveway.  Our trio get out with
       very long faces.

                           CRAIG (V.O.)
                 In a strange way, I feel responsible for
                 Day-Day getting fired.  If I wouldn't
                 have fought Pinky, and gave Day-Day the
                 joint, he'd still have a job.

       Day-Day walks into the house while Craig and Roach stay out
       on the porch.

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - UPSTAIRS - MONTAGE SEQUENCE

       Uncle Elroy opens his bedroom door wearing a S&M mask and
       holding a tube of KY jelly.  He removes the mask.  Day-Day
       hands him the notice.  Uncle Elroy takes it with his greasy
       hands.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Ah damn.  Damn.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I got fired too.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 What?!

       He starts to beat Day-Day with a sex toy.

       EXT. FREEWAY - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - AFTERNOON

       The dog truck exits the freeway.  He pulls into a gas station
       by the freeway.  He stops near the restrooms and jumps out,
       air freshner in hand.  When he gets to the door, it's locked.

                           MR. JONES
                 Damn.

       He knocks.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                 Say, man, hurry up.  We got an emergency
                 out here.

       No answer.  Mr. Jones paces nervously.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                 I knew I shouldn't have ordered that
                 extra hot sauce.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S PORCH - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - LATE AFTERNOON

       Craig and Day-Day are trying to think.  Roach is practicing
       skateboard moves.  He's not very good.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Man, sit down.

       EXT. GAS STATION RESTROOM - MONTAGE SEQUENCE

       He knocks again.

                           MR. JONES
                 Say, man, what the hell you doing in
                 there?  Open the door.

       Just then the door opens and out walks MICHAEL JORDAN.

                           MICHAEL JORDAN
                 Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about
                 35, 40 minutes.

       Mr. Jones is stunned.

                           MR. JONES
                 Hey, you that boy?

       Jordan jumps in his car and he's gone.  Mr. Jones is happy
       he's just seen Michael Jordan.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                     (smiling)
                 Ain't that something, Michael Jordan.

       He walks in the bathroom.

       INSIDE

       Reality hits, it stinks up in there.  Mr. Jones fronds.

                           MR. JONES (cont'd)
                 Oh, Michael, that boy better check his
                 drawls.

       He starts to spray.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S PORCH - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - LATE AFTERNOON

       Craig, Day-Day and Roach are sitting on the porch thinking.

                           DAY-DAY
                 What we gonna do?

                           CRAIG
                 I don't know yet.

                           ROACH
                 I know what I'mma do.  Go home and face
                 the music.  My dad is gonna kick my ass
                 for getting fired again.

       He gets on his skateboard.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Alright, Roach, see you around.

                           CRAIG
                 Sorry about today, man.

                           ROACH
                 Yeah, me too.  Later.

       He attempts to jump off the porch with his board and lands
       dead on his ass once again.  His board continues to roll.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Man, sit down.  I can't think with you
                 falling everywhere.

       His board continues to roll into the street.  At this same
       time, Joker's low-rider rolls by and breaks his board in two.
       Roach runs to pick up the pieces.

                           ROACH
                 My board!

       The Joker Bros. back their low-rider into the driveway.  They
       have no sympathy.  Cheeco (the pitbull) is in the back yard.
       He's happy to see them.

       They stroll into the house with three Mexican girls with
       them.  Joker spots our trio looking.

                           JOKER
                 What the fuck you looking at?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Nothing.

                           ROACH
                 You ran over my board!

                           JOKER
                 So what?  It shouldn't have been in the
                 street.

       They disappear into the house.

       BACK ON PORCH

       Craig has a twinkle in his eyes and Roach walks over, pissed.

                           ROACH
                 Who the fuck is that, Day-Day?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Let it go, Roach, trust me.

                           ROACH
                 I'm not letting nothing go.  They killed
                 my board.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Let it go!

       Craig is looking over at the Joker's house.  Baby Joker walks
       out the front door.  He walks over to the rider and POPS the
       TRUNK.

                           CRAIG
                 Wait.  Check'em out.

       Baby Joker pulls out a chrome hydraulic pump.  He carries it
       towards the house.  Cheeco starts to hump his leg.

                           BABY JOKER
                 Get down.

       Baby Joker drops the pump, something falls out.  (We can't
       see what it is.)  Baby Joker quickly puts it back.

       BACK ON PORCH

                           CRAIG
                 You see that?

                           DAY-DAY
                 I didn't see nothing.

                           ROACH
                 Me neither.

                           CRAIG
                 It's something in that hydraulic pump.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Yeah, air.

                           CRAIG
                 Naw.  I bet'cha it's something better
                 than air.

                           DAY-DAY
                 How you know?  It could be anything.

                           CRAIG
                 I don't know, and it could be anything.
                 But I just say we go take a look.

                           ROACH
                 I say we go over there and kick their
                 asses.  I can take the little one.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Are you out your mind?  I'm not messing
                 with them S.A.'s boy.  You must be crazy.

                           CRAIG
                 Could be.  Rather be crazy than homeless.
                 Now all we need is a big pack of baloney.

       Day-Day and Roach look at each other.

                           BOTH
                 Baloney??

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT

       The private party is starting to heat up.  Big Joker sits on
       the couch with a PRETTY YOUNG GIRL on his lap.  He's smoking
       on a perfectly rolled cone joint.  Li'l Joker dances with the
       other girlfriend, as an OLD SCHOOL JAM PLAYS in the B.G.  The
       other senorita is pouring herself a drink.

       Karla walks into the room.

                           KARLA
                 I thought you were taking me to see Mama?

                           JOKER
                 I'll take you later.

                           KARLA
                 When?  After you get all drunk and
                 loaded?

                           JOKER
                 Hey!  I said I'll take your fuckin' ass
                 later.  Now get out of here.  You're
                 scaring our company.

       Karla storms out the room.  Baby Joker walks in carrying the
       chrome pump.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                 Get up.

       The Pretty Girl moves off Joker's lap.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                 Take it in the room.

       Baby Joker carries the pump in the bedroom.  Joker is close
       behind.  He SLAMS the DOOR.  The Girl dancing with Li'l Joker
       gets too nosy.

                           GIRL #1
                 What was that?

                           LI'L JOKER
                 What was what?

                           GIRL #1
                 That silver thing.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 I didn't see no silver thing, and neither
                 did you.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - CONTINUOUS

       Craig, Day-Day and Roach are sneaking across the street
       towards Joker's house.  Craig looks calm.  Day-Day looks
       nervous.  Roach eats on a piece of baloney.

                           DAY-DAY
                 This ain't gonna work.  I'm going back.

       Day-Day tries to turn around.  Craig grabs him.

                           CRAIG
                 It's about to work, just come on.

                           ROACH
                     (about to bite baloney)
                 What about the dog?

       Craig slaps the baloney out of his hand.

                           CRAIG
                 That's what the baloney's for!

       All three kneel down next to a parked car.  Day-Day looks
       sick.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Man, I don't think I can do this, Craig.
                 I got the B-G's.

                           CRAIG
                 What's the B-G's?

                           DAY-DAY
                     (holding his stomach)
                 The bubble guts.  I'm so nervous it feels
                 like I'mma shit on myself.

                           ROACH
                 Try an' hold it, man.  Squeeze your ass
                 cheeks together.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Butterflies, my ass.  I'm about to go
                 home.

       Craig grabs Day-Day again.

                           CRAIG
                 Look, Day-Day.  If we don't go over there
                 and take a look, this might be the last
                 night you got a home.  Now trust me.

       Day-Day realizes that Craig is right. He takes a deep breath.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Now all we gotta do is find out where the
                 little one put that pump.  Take it and
                 see what's in it.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You make it sound so easy.

                           CRAIG
                 It is easy. You know why?  'Cause they're
                 not expecting it.
                 Now, Roach, you gotta occupy Cheeco.
                 Long enough for me and Day-Day to take a
                 good look.

                           ROACH
                 Dude, dogs hate me.  I don't know why.
                 Me and K-9's just don't get along.

                           CRAIG
                 Well get along with this one.
                     (pushing Roach)
                 Go ahead of us.  Don't get seen and don't
                 let that mutt out of your sight.

                           ROACH
                 Fuck, what's his name?

                           CRAIG
                 Cheeco.

       Roach crawls away on his hands and knees.

       EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

       Roach sneaks past Joker's lowrider.  He slowly approaches the
       fence.  No sign of Cheeco.  Roach opens the pack of baloney
       and pulls out a slice.

                           ROACH
                     (nervous whisper)
                 Here, Cheeco.  Chee-co, here boy.  That's
                 a good boy.

       It's pitch-black behind the fence, still no Cheeco.

       PARKED CAR - SAME TIME

       Craig makes a move.

                           CRAIG
                 Come on, he should have'em by now.

       Day-Day follows.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Hurry up.  He didn't have that much
                 baloney.

       They sneak up to the side of the house.  The MUSIC is
       BLEEDING THROUGH the walls.

       INSIDE HOUSE

       Li'l Joker is dancing with all 3 girls.  They're all getting
       high and feeling good.  One girl has come out of her blouse.
       The others start to follow her lead.

                           LI'L JOKER
                     (yelling towards bedroom)
                 Hey, homes, you guys better hurry up!
                 I'mma get greedy.

       BACK OUTSIDE

       Craig and Day-Day are peeking through the window.  Craig
       moves on.  Day-Day is still watching.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (to himself)
                 Look at those tig-ole-bitties

       Craig snatches him from the window.  They walk over to the
       fence.

                           CRAIG
                 You go first.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Naw, you go first.

                           CRAIG
                 You go first.

                           DAY-DAY
                 No.

                           CRAIG
                 Day-Day, if you don't hop that fence
                 I'mma throw you over.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I ain't scared of you.  We ain't little
                 no more.

       Day-Day gets ready to fight.

                           CRAIG
                 What?

       Craig jumps like he's going to hit him.  Day-Day jumps back
       and almost falls.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I hope to God that dog is happy.

                           CRAIG
                 Me too.

       ROACH

       ...is having no luck.  Cheeco is nowhere to be found.  Roach
       starts to sing.

                           ROACH
                 My baloney has a first name.  It's C-h-e-
                 e-c-o.

       We hear a MEAN GROWL out of the darkness.  Roach continues.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 My baloney has a second name it just like
                 the first Cheeco.

       GROWLING gets LOWDER.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 Ooooohhhh I love to eat it everyday if
                 you ask me what I'll say.

       We can hear TINY FOOTSTEPS RUNNING at Roach.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 Cheeco's got to be the dumbest fuckin'
                 mutt in the whole wide U.S.A.

       CHEECO is running at Roach full speed.  He jumps on the fence
       and starts to BARK with everything he's got.  Roach drops the
       baloney.

       CRAIG AND DAY-DAY

       ...hear the DOG BARKING and freeze in their tracks.  Day-Day
       tries to run.  Craig grabs him, again.

                           CRAIG
                 Wait.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (loud whisper)
                 Wait for what?

       A LOT of BARKING.  Nothing coming.

                           CRAIG
                 He's still over by Roach.

       ROACH

       ...picks up the baloney and stuffs the whole pack into his
       mouth.  CHEECO is SILENCED.  Roach is relieved.

       INSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

       The chrome pump is open and filled with money.  Baby Joker's
       pulling out the money while Joker sits on the bed counting
       it.  They stop when they hear CHEECO BARKING.

                           BABY JOKER
                 Want me to take a look?

                           JOKER
                 No, keep working.

       In the mirror behind Joker, we see a stick slide through the
       curtain.  The curtain cracks just enough to see Craig's eye
       looking in.

       Just then, Li'l Joker bursts through the door with his shirt
       off and two half-naked girls on his arms.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Yo, man fuck that shit.  Do it later.
                 It's Friday, time to party, SA.

                           JOKER
                 Close the door.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Not until you come party with us, man.

       Baby Joker looks at the girls, then at Joker.

                           JOKER
                 Alright, put it in that drawer.

       Joker hands Baby Joker the money.  He puts it away.  They
       start to exit the room.

       OUTSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

       Craig is still looking.  Day-Day is scared shitless.  He's
       looking for Cheeco.

                           DAY-DAY
                     (whispering)
                 What you see?

                           CRAIG
                 That pump was full of money.  I saw where
                 they put it.  Stay right here, I'mma
                 climb in and go get it.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Wait here?  So Cheeco can bite my ass
                 off?  Tell me where it is I'll do it.

                           CRAIG
                 No, man, just wait.

       Craig climbs in the window.  Day-Day holds his stomach.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I got the B-G's.

       ROACH

       ... his meat supply is almost gone.  He tries to think fast.
       Cheeco starts to look for more meat.  Roach grabs the smashed
       brownie out of his pocket and throws it to Cheeco.  He
       swallows it in one big gulp.  He's looking for more.  There
       is no more.  Roach smiles.  CHEECO GROWLS.

                           ROACH
                 Good boy.  Nice dog.

       CHEECO'S STILL GROWLING.  Suddenly Cheeco falls back on his
       butt and lets out a slight moan.

       CHEECO'S POV

       Cheeco is looking up at Roach.  He's seeing double, even
       triple.  Cheeco lays down.  It looks like he's faded.

                           ROACH
                 No lungs, baby.  No lungs.

       INSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

       Craig is in.  The bedroom door is cracked.  Craig walks over
       and shuts the door gently.  He locks it.  Then he creeps over
       to the dresser.  He pulls out the pump and sets it on the
       bed.  He opens it, revealing all the bundled-up money packed
       in.  He starts to stuff it in his pockets.

       OUTSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

       Day-Day is trying to keep his composure.

       INT. DEN - CONTINUOUS

       The SA brothers are having a good time.  Joker is getting
       nasty with one of the Girls.  He pulls her by the hand.

                           GIRL #2
                 No.

                           JOKER
                 Fuck that.

       Joker picks her up and carries her to the bedroom.  She
       screams.  He laughs.  He goes for the door.  It's locked.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                 Who locked this door?

       Everybody looks confused.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                 Who locked this fuckin' door?!

       Joker starts to kick the door.

       INSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

       Craig hurries to put the pump back.  He's about to go for the
       window when: BANG!  There's a KICK on the door.  All Craig
       can do is go for another door on the other side of the room.
       BANG!  The door flies open and Craig is out there just in
       time.

                           JOKER
                 I don't want no doors locked around here.
                 You hear me?

       Joker walks in and hits the lights.  He throws the girl on
       the bed.

                           GIRL #2
                 Oh, poppy, I like it rough.

                           JOKER
                     (taking off shirt)
                 Good, 'cause that's how you gonna get it.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - STAIRWAY - CONTINUOUS

       Baby Joker has his back turned when we see Craig sprint
       behind him and up the stairs.  Baby Joker turns around.  He
       thinks he saw something.  He slowly starts to walk up the
       stairs.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Karla!

       INT. KARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

       Karla is in her room working out.  Craig runs in.  He's
       shocked to see her.  She doesn't see him, but he's frozen.
       Then she turns around and he startles her.

                           KARLA
                 What are you doing?

       Think fast, Craig.

                           CRAIG
                 Huh?

                           KARLA
                 What are you doing here?

                           CRAIG
                 I hope you don't think I'm crazy, but I
                 just had to come in here and show you I
                 ain't scared of yo' punk ass
                 brothers...and you wouldn't have be
                 scared of 'em neither if you had a man
                 like me in yo' life.

                           KARLA
                 What??  So you snuck in my room to tell
                 me that?

                           CRAIG
                 Yes I did.  Excuse me.

       Her door flies open.  Smashing Craig behind it.  It's Li'l
       Joker.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Who you talking to?

       Craig looks nervous.

                           KARLA
                 Nobody.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 I heard a voice.

                           KARLA
                 No you didn't.  Get out my room.  Go back
                 down to your little girlfriends.

       Karla pushes Li'l Joker out.

       OUTSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

       Day-Day is having a fit.

                           GIRL #2 (O.S.)
                 Shut the window.

                           JOKER (O.S.)
                 You shut the window.

       She does.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Oh shit.

       Day-Day takes off.  He hops the fence in record speed.

       CHEECO

       ...is laying on his back looking through the fence.  He's
       calm and cool now.

       OTHER SIDE

       Roach is on his back looking through the fence.  He hits a
       joint and blows the smoke into Cheeco's face.

                           ROACH
                 ...like I was saying.  A guy like me, and
                 a dog like you, don't need this bullshit.
                 We need to be in Maui renting jet ski to
                 fat funks in flower shirts.  You feel me,
                 C?

       Cheeco is passed out.  Day-Day sneaks around the corner.  He
       whispers.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Roach...Roach, come on.

                           ROACH
                 Where's Craig?

                           DAY-DAY
                 He's inside the house?

                           ROACH
                 Why did he go in the house?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Don't worry about it.  We gotta figure
                 out a way to get Craig out of there.
                 He's probably getting tied up now.

       INT. KARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

       Craig is sweating.  Karla is standing in front of him.

                           KARLA
                 You did all this for me?

                           CRAIG
                 Most of it.  I just hate to see you in
                 this situation.

                           KARLA
                 Thanks for noticing.  It used ta be
                 peaceful before they got out.  Took over
                 the house and caused my mother's nervous
                 breakdown.

                           CRAIG
                 Why didn't she put'em out?

                           KARLA
                 Easier said than done.  We saved up to
                 get away from them, but they followed us.

                           CRAIG
                 I'm sorry to hear that.

       Craig walks over to the window.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Can I get out this way?

       Karla walks up behind him, looking very sexy.

                           KARLA
                 I thought you came up here to see me.

       Craig turns around.

                           CRAIG
                 I did.  Is that door locked?

                           KARLA
                 It's locked.

                           CRAIG
                 Make sure.

       Karla turns around to check the door.

                           KARLA
                 You so nervous, I already locked this
                 door.

       Craig drops a thick roll of money into her purse.  She shakes
       the knob.

                           KARLA (cont'd)
                 See.  All locked.

       She walks over to him.  They're face-to-face.

                           KARLA (cont'd)
                 What's your hurry?

                           CRAIG
                 I got my cousin Day-Day waiting for me.

                           KARLA
                     (getting even closer)
                 So what?  Let's make'em wait.

       Craig looks AT the CAMERA.

                           CRAIG
                 I be damn.

       EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

       Day-Day and Roach are at Joker's front door.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You wanna knock?

                           ROACH
                 Go for it.

       Day-Day knocks real soft.  Too soft.

                           ROACH (cont'd)
                 No one's gonna hear that.  The music's
                 playing.

                           DAY-DAY
                 'Scuse me, partner, but that's a ghetto
                 knock.

                           ROACH
                 This is a knock.

       Roach starts to kick on the door with his foot.  It's very
       loud.

       INT. DEN - CONTINUOUS

       Joker storms in with the AK.  Li'l Joker is in the corner
       with his girl, and Baby Joker is on the floor.  Joker TURNS
       DOWN THE STEREO.

                           JOKER
                 You fuckin' lover boys hear that?

                           BABY JOKER
                 Hear what?

       The KNOCKING continues.  Li'l Joker and Baby Joker push the
       girls aside and jump up.  Li'l Joker grabs a big knife.  Baby
       Joker grabs a 9mm.  Joker looks at the girls.

                           JOKER
                 Don't fuckin' move.

       They won't.  The brothers run to the door.

       OUTSIDE

       Roach is still kicking.

                           DAY-DAY
                 What's wrong with you, fool.  Stop
                 kicking their door.  They might think we
                 the police.

       The front door swings open and before we know it.  Day-Day's
       got an AK pointed in his face, and Roach is looking at a 9
       close up.

                           JOKER
                 What the fuck you want?

       Day-Day's tongue doesn't work.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Uh...um...I mean uh, can we borrow a cup
                 of sugar?

                           JOKER
                 What?!  This look like a 7-11 or
                 something?  Get the fuck outta here!

                           DAY-DAY
                     (starts to leave)
                 Alright, no problem.  We gone.

                           ROACH
                 Hold on.  A man, you broke my fuckin'
                 board and I don't appreciate it.

       Immediately Day-Day and Roach are snatched inside the house,
       and the door is SLAMMED.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Mr. Jones' dog truck pulls to a stop.  He gets out and runs
       to the house.  He KNOCKS.  Uncle Elroy answers.  Suga is
       looking over his shoulder.

                           MR. JONES
                 I got your message.  Where's Craig?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I don't know, I didn't leave you no damn
                 message!

                           MR. JONES
                 You didn't call the Sandwich Joint with a
                 urgent message?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Hell naw, Willie. Them fleas and tics
                 must be sucking on yo' brain!

                           MR. JONES
                 Somebody left me a message.  Well where's
                 Craig and Day-Day?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I don't know.  Suga, go ask Miss Ho Kym
                 if she seen them.

       EXT. KARLA'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS

       Craig is about to climb out the window.

                           KARLA
                 Next time, page me first.

                           CRAIG
                 Okay.

       Craig climbs out the window.  He loses his footing and free
       falls into some bushes.

                           KARLA
                 You alright?

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, I'm cool.  See you later.

       He runs past a sleeping Cheeco and hops the fence.  Free at
       last.  He's about to run back across the street when he sees
       the dog truck.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 What is he doing here?

       Craig ducks back.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT

       Day-Day and Roach are sitting on a couch looking nervous.
       The Joker brothers hold guns on them.  The three half-dressed
       Mexican Girls look a bit scared themselves.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Look, man, this is a big
                 misunderstanding.  All we wanted to do is
                 borrow some sugar.

                           ROACH
                 And some rolling papers.

                           DAY-DAY
                 ...and some rolling papers, that's it.
                 We didn't mean to mess up y'all get
                 together or nothing.
                     (to the Girls)
                 How y'all doing?

       They answer --

                           GIRLS
                 Fine.

                           DAY-DAY
                 That's good.  My name's Day-Day and this
                 is my friend, Roach.

                           ROACH
                     (waving)
                 Hey.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Ya'll live around here?

                           JOKER
                 Shut up!  Both of you right now!

                           DAY-DAY
                     (to Roach)
                 Shhhh!  Roach, shut the fuck up.

                           JOKER
                 I don't believe this sugar shit.
                 Something ain't right.

       Joker thinks for a moment.  Then he turns to Baby Joker.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                     (in Spanish)
                 Go check on the money.

       Baby Joker obeys the order.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Here comes Karla, put the guns away.

                           JOKER
                 Keep your mouth shut.

       Karla walks back in.

                           KARLA
                 Hey, what's going on?

                           JOKER
                 Nothing.  What you want?

                           KARLA
                 Are you going to take me to see Mom?

                           JOKER
                 Take your car.

                           KARLA
                 'Take your car?'

                           JOKER
                 Yeah, and hurry up.

       Karla doesn't believe it.

                           KARLA
                 Okay.

       She grabs the keys off the bar.

                           KARLA (cont'd)
                 I'll be back in a bit.  'Bye.

       She's out the door.  Joker turns to Day-Day and Roach.

                           JOKER
                 If everything's alright.  We might let
                 you leave, too.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       The front door swings open.  It's Uncle Elroy.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Craig, where the hell you been?

       Mr. Jones pops up.  So does Suga and Miss Ho Kym.

                           MR. JONES
                 Hold up, Elroy, that's my boy.  Craig,
                 what the hell wrong with you?  Where you
                 been?

                           CRAIG
                 Have you seen Day-Day?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 No.  Thought he was with you.

                           CRAIG
                 Daddy, Uncle Elroy, I need your help.

       He steps in the house and closes the door behind him.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT

       It's the same scene as before.  Two angry Mexicans, three
       half-naked Girls, plus Day-Day and Roach in the middle.  Baby
       Joker returns.

                           BABY JOKER
                     (in Spanish)
                 Some of the money is missing.

                           JOKER
                     (upset)
                 What?!?!

                           DAY-DAY
                 What?!
                     (as he looks at Roach)
                 What that mean?

                           ROACH
                 I don't know.

                           JOKER
                 It means you Miyateas are staying with
                 us.
                     (to Baby Joker)
                 Get the duct tape.
                     (to Li'l Joker)
                 You know what to do.

       Li'l Joker turns to the girls.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Put your clothes back on.

       The scared Girls start to dress.

       EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - NIGHT

       Karla backs up the rider and she's out.  The Joker house
       looks quiet.  Then the door opens and three Girls walk out.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Sorry you gotta walk, but I'll call you
                 tomorrow.

       The Girls take off down the street.  The porch lights go out.

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Craig, Mr. Jones, Uncle Elroy, Suga and Miss Ho Kym are
       peeking out the window.

                           CRAIG
                 You see that?

                           MR. JONES
                 I saw it.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Me, too.  You think they're in there?

                           CRAIG
                 Yup.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 Why for?  Them boys are real player
                 haters.

                           CRAIG
                 It's a long story.  Right now we gotta do
                 somethin'.

                           MR. JONES
                 You come way out here to get into more
                 trouble.  You could've stayed at home.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Willie, shut up.  Yo' old ass need to get
                 in a little bit o' trouble sometimes.

                           MR. JONES
                     (rolling up his sleeve)
                 Don't get it twisted, Elroy.  I ain't
                 lost none of my street skills.

                           SUGA
                 If ya'll don't come back not in ten
                 minutes, I'mma callin' the po'lice.

       Craig, Uncle Elroy and Mr. Jones are about to go on a
       mission.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Wait a minute.  I gotta go get my shit.

       Uncle Elroy runs upstairs.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS

       Li'l Joker is almost finished duct-taping Day-Day and Roach.
       Baby Joker holds the AK.  Joker paces the floor.  Day-Day and
       Roach try to make peace by singing an old "War" song.  Day-
       Day is serious.

                           DAY-DAY & ROACH
                 'Why can't we be friends?  Why can't we
                 be friends?  Why can't we be friends?
                 Why can't we be friends?'...

                           DAY-DAY
                     (still singing)
                 'I hope my cousin call the C.I.A.'

       Joker throws a BOTTLE against the wall.  It SHATTERS into a
       million pieces.

                           JOKER
                 Shut the fuck up!

       The singing stops.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                 If you don't tell me where my money is,
                 I'mma show you how close we can get.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Money?  Man, we came over here from some
                 sugar and rolling papers.  We was going
                 to get high, and I was going to show this
                 white boy how to make Kool-Aid.  That's
                 all.

                           ROACH
                 Hey, mister Joker, have a heart, bro.
                 It's Friday.

       Joker walks over to Roach and kicks him in the mouth.

                           JOKER
                 I'm hearing a lot of talking, but I'm not
                 hearing the right words.

                           BABY JOKER
                 Maybe the other guy took it.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Why would he take it?  He don't even know
                 you.

                           JOKER
                     (thinking)
                 Shut up!  Where's that other miyatea?

       EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Uncle Elroy catches up with Craig and Mr. Jones on the side
       of Joker's house.  He has a big chrome .357 magnum.

                           CRAIG
                 That's a nice piece of heat right there.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Thank you.  I only got two bullets in the
                 mothafucka, but it's better than nothing.

                           MR. JONES
                 Two bullets?  Yo' ass ain't changed.
                 Back in the day, all I had was a stick.

                           CRAIG
                 Come on.

       They sneak over to the fence.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 What about that ugly dog?

                           MR. JONES
                 I got my mase.

                           CRAIG
                 He's on the other side, sleep.

       They start to hop the fence.

       ON CHEECO

       ...starts to awake.  He tries to stand up and stumbles back
       on his face.  He lets out ANOTHER MOAN.

       ON CRAIG AND UNCLE ELROY

       Craig is over the fence.  Mr. Jones is over  But Uncle Elroy
       is having a little trouble.

                           CRAIG (cont'd)
                 Need some help?

                           MR. JONES
                 Need to lose some weight.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Shut yo' ass up.

       Uncle Elroy falls off the fence.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 Damn.

       Craig & Mr. Jones helps him up.  They creep over to the
       window - the shades are pulled down.

                           CRAIG
                 I'm not sure, but I think they're in this
                 room.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS

       Joker is getting tired of the games.  And Day-Day is pleading
       for his life.

                           JOKER
                 Tape his mouth shut.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Joker, a man like yourself can do a lot
                 for this community.  By letting us go,
                 you can improve black and brown
                 relations.

                           ROACH
                 Yeah, brown and white relations, too.

       Day-Day looks at Roach.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Boy, you gonna get us killed.

       Li'l Joker grabs Day-Day and tapes his mouth shut.  He does
       the same to Roach.

                           JOKER
                 I'm sick and tired of bullshitting with
                 you guys.
                     (in Spanish)
                 Baby brother, go get the chainsaw.

       Baby Joker hands him the AK and he's gone.  Day-Day and Roach
       look terrified.  Everything has turned serious.

       INT. MR. JONES' DOG TRUCK - CONTINUOUS

       Debo and Ezal are still asleep.  Debo wakes first.

                           DEBO
                 Ezal!  Ezal!

                           EZAL
                 Huh?

                           DEBO
                 We must be here 'cause we stopped.

                           EZAL
                 Good, let's get out.

       They both try to get out.  But it's no way to get out from
       the inside.

                           DEBO
                 Hey, how you get out of here.

                           EZAL
                 I don't know.

       They both start to go nuts on the door.

       OUTSIDE

       The dog truck is shaking like crazy.

       EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

       Baby Joker walks out the back door.  He stops in the middle
       of the yard.

                           BABY JOKER
                 Cheeco!  Cheeco!  Here, boy!

       No Cheeco.  He continues to a shed in the back yard.  He goes
       inside and picks up a chainsaw.  On his way out the shed,
       he's slapped in the face with a "Big Ass Stick."  Mr. Jones
       is working the handle.

       Baby Joker is out cold.  Mr. Jones stands over him.

                           MR. JONES
                 Nigga, you got knock the fuck out.

                           CRAIG
                 Yeah, pops!

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Damn, big bro.  You swung that like Sammy
                 Sosa.

                           MR. JONES
                 The skills are still intact.  Now tie his
                 ass up, Elroy.

       He does.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS

       The terror continues.

                           JOKER
                 My little brother went out to get my
                 chainsaw.  I'mma show you what happens to
                 fools who don't tell me what I wanna
                 hear.  You ever see Scarface, mothafucka?

       Day-Day starts to cry.  Roach tries to scream through the
       tape.  Joker turns to Li'l Joker.

                           JOKER (cont'd)
                 Go see what's taking him so long.

       Li'l Joker obeys.  We FOLLOW Li'l Joker THROUGH the house and
       OUT the back door.

       EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

       Li'l Joker stands at the back door.

                           LI'L JOKER
                 Junior?!  Junior?!

       No answer.  Suddenly he spots something over by the shed.
       It's Baby Joker all ties up.

                           LI'L JOKER (cont'd)
                 What the...

       He runs to the rescue.  But right before he gets to him,
       Uncle Elroy jumps out the bushes and takes him.  "Ronnie Lott
       Style."  Mr. Jones steps in with the stick.  Craig steps in
       with the rope, and it's over.  Uncle Elroy's hurt.  It's his
       back.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                     (in pain)
                 My back.

                           MR. JONES
                 What's the matter?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I slip my disc, again... Oh got damn.

       Craig goes to assist Uncle Elroy.

                           CRAIG
                 Stretch it out.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Don't move me.

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS

       Joker is pissed.

                           JOKER
                 Where are these fucking guys?

       He storms out the room.  Day-Day and Roach try to escape.
       They flap around on the ground like a fish out of water.

       EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

       The back door flies open.  Joker appears with the AK-47 in
       hand.  He spots Uncle Elroy in the middle of the yard bent
       over.  He lifts the AK.

                           JOKER
                 What you doing here?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I lost something, nigga.  What it look
                 like?

                           JOKER
                 Looks like a dead man.

       Out of nowhere, Craig hits Joker from the back.  He flies one
       way and the gun flies another.  Now it's really on!  Hand-to-
       hand combat.  Craig vs. Joker.  Right vs. wrong.  Good vs.
       evil.  You know how it go.

                           MR. JONES
                 Go to the body, Craig!  Go to the body!

       INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS

       Day-Day and Roach have made it a little further to the door,
       but they still look like fish searching for H2O.  Uncle Elroy
       stumbles in.  He grabs a knife and starts to cut them loose.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Boy, Day-Day, I'mma kick yo' ass for
                 getting me into this mess and hurting my
                 back!  I moved out here to get away from
                 this kinda shit!

       EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

       Fight's still on.  Craig is giving Joker the ass-whipping he
       deserves when Uncle Elroy, Day-Day and Roach reach the back
       porch.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Get 'em, Craig!

                           ROACH
                 Bite his ear!

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 What 'em!  Watch 'em!

       Joker takes a few more shots from Craig, then grabs Craig
       around the waist and slams him to the ground.  Craig is hurt.

                           UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
                 Get off yo' back, Craig!

       Craig struggles with Joker, who now has the devil in his
       eyes.

                           CRAIG
                 Ya'll mothafuckas help me!

       Day-Day and Roach look at each other.  They rush to Craig's
       aide.  Joker spots them coming, he also spots the AK.

       In SLOW MOTION, Day-Day and Roach dive on Joker...at the same
       time Joker dives for the AK.  Day-Day and Roach land on top
       of Craig and our trio try to hurry to their feet.  But as
       soon as they get up, they're looking down the barrel of an AK-
       47.

                           JOKER
                     (smiling)
                 Say hello to my little friend.

       BOOM!

       Debo hits Joker from the back.  Joker is out cold.

                           DEBO
                 No way, Jose.  This one is mine.

       Ezal picks up the gun and hands it to Debo.

                           DEBO (cont'd)
                 Hi, Craig, remember me?

       Craig knows he can't fight a gun.  Everybody is helpless.  We
       can hear SIRENS getting CLOSER and CLOSER.  Suddenly, out of
       nowhere...

       CHEECO!

       The pitbull is back!  And he's mad as hell.  He runs through
       everybody and jumps on Debo, knocking the gun from his hand.
       Craig and Day-Day jump on Debo.  Roach WHISTLES, and Cheeco
       stops his attack on Debo.

       Cheeco runs over to Roach and jumps in his arms.  Roach's
       being licked to death by the pitbull.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Finally you got a bitch, huh, Roach?

                           ROACH
                 He's a boy, dude.

       EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Out front, three sheriff cars swoop into the driveway.  The
       cops jump out, guns drawn.

       EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

       Debo and Ezal are tied up next to the Jokers.

                           EZAL
                 Mr. Jones, we was just playin'.  He made
                 me do it.

       Mr. Jones don't wanna hear it.  Craig runs into the house.
       Uncle, Day-Day, Roach and Cheeco look at the five on the
       ground...it's over, or is it?

                           SHERIFF #3
                 Freeze, Sheriff's Department!

       The SHERIFFS are on our heroes, guns drawn.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Wait a minute!  I live across the street!

                           SHERIFF LADY
                 You do?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Yeah.  Paid cash.

                           DAY-DAY
                 They the ones you want.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - CONTINUOUS

       Red and Blue lights flash through the neighborhood.  Everyone
       is out their door looking at the action.  The suburbs is
       starting to look like the ghetto for real.

       Uncle Elroy is bent over.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 When my back gets better I'mma beat the
                 black off you, Day-Day.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I know.  I'm sorry.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Sorry, my ass.

       Suga and Miss Ho Kym come running.

                           SUGA
                 Elroy, what happen?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I threw my back, again.

                           SUGA
                 Aw, no lovin' tonight?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Naw, baby, no lovin' tonight.

                           SUGA
                 Come on, baby, let's go in the house.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 For what?  We ain't gonna have no house
                 after the auction tomorrow!

       Everyone is sad.

                           ROACH
                 Don't worry, bro, you, Suga, Day-Day and
                 Craig can live with me and my parents.
                 'Til you get back on yo' feet.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Thanks, Roach, but I can't accept that.
                 We're moving back to Watts where it's
                 safe.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Where's Craig?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 I don't know.

                           MR. JONES
                 That boy just don't never learn.

       EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       Craig steps out of Joker's front door carrying the chrome
       hydraulic pump.

                           CRAIG
                 I love Fridays.

       He walks past the cops and crosses the street.

                           ROACH
                 There he go.

                           MR. JONES
                 What the hell is he carrying?

                           DAY-DAY
                 Property taxes, and a new candy-apple
                 paint job.

       They greet Craig and all start to walk towards the house.

       INT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - NIGHT

       The "Jefferson's" theme song, "Movin' On Up," PLAYS on the
       TV.  Uncle Elroy is face down on the floor looking at the TV.
       Miss Ho Kym walks on his back with her shoes off.  He moans
       in pleasure.  Mr. Jones eats chicken wings.

                           MR. JONES
                 Jump up and down on him.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 That's next.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Don't listen to him.  How much we got?

       Suga is at the table counting money.  She takes a few
       hundreds for herself.

                           SUGA
                 We got forty-seven thousand, three
                 hundred and fifteen dollars.

                           MR. JONES
                 Good Lord.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 That's a whole lot of scrilla.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 It's gonna feel good to pay my taxes.

       Craig is tending to his wounds.

                           CRAIG
                 You're welcome, Unc.

                           DAY-DAY
                 What about me?

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 You didn't do nothing.

       Roach and Cheeco are about to leave.  He has a handful of
       money.

                           ROACH
                 Hey, guys, I'm outta here.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Thanks for the help.

                           ROACH
                 Hey, man, the pleasure's all mine.
                 Thanks for the dog, and the money.  Maybe
                 my dad won't kick my ass tonight.

                           DAY-DAY
                 Call me.

                           ROACH
                 Okay, later, bro.  Hey, Craig, nice
                 smokin' wit'cha.

                           CRAIG
                 You too.

                           MR. JONES
                 Smokin' what?

                           CRAIG
                 Nothing.

                           ROACH
                 Later, Mr. Jones.  Bye, Suga.

                           ALL
                 Bye, Roach.

       Roach is gone.  Day-Day shuts the door.  Miss Ho Kym is
       finished.  She steps off of Uncle Elroy.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 All done.  Stand up.

       Uncle Elroy gets up.  He's better.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Hey, that George Jefferson shit works.
                 Thanks, Miss Kym.

       Uncle Elroy walks over to the table and grabs a stack of
       hundred-dollar bills.  He hands it to Miss Ho Kym.

                           MISS HO KYM
                 I can't accept.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 You better take this money.

       She takes the money.

                           MISS HO KYM
                     (in Korean)
                 Thank you.
                     (in English)
                 I can take a trip back to Korea now.
                 Find a freak daddy, bring him back to
                 America.  Make 'em my bitch.

                           SUGA
                 You go, girl.

       Uncle Elroy helps Miss Ho Kym out the door.

                           MR. JONES
                 Well, we better hit the road, too.
                 Craig, get your stuff.

                           UNCLE ELROY
                 Well, Craig, you're welcome anytime.

       Suga hugs Craig.

                           SUGA
                 Yeah, baby, it's a shame you leavin'.
                 Aunt Suga gonna miss yo.

       And the others have to agree.

                           DAY-DAY
                 You sure you don't wanna stay?

                           CRAIG
                 Naw, I'm got live ghetto fabulous.  make
                 sure you get that car fixed.

                           DAY-DAY
                 I will.  When can I come visit?

                           CRAIG
                 I don't know.  Probably next Friday.

       They're out the door.

       EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

       As we PULL BACK, all is well inside and outside Uncle Elroy's
       house.  The suburbs are back to normal.  They get in the car.
       Craig looks over at the Joker's house.

       ANGLE ON JOKER'S HOUSE

       Karla pulls up in the low-rider.  They lock eyes and she
       blows him a kiss.  He gives her a wink.  They pull off.  She
       goes in the house.

                           CRAIG (V.O.)
                 Well, all's well that ends well.  Another
                 Friday gone.  Another problem solved.
                 It's a trip to know that things can get
                 crazy in the suburbs, too.  I can't wait
                 to get back home...to the peace and quiet
                 streets of South Central.

       D'Wana's car pulls INTO FRAME.  She stops in front of Uncle
       Elroy's house.  Baby'D jumps out with a brick.  She throws it
       through the back window of Day-Day's BMW.  She jumps back in
       and they're gone...

                                                           THE END.