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Paul Movie Script

Writer(s) : Simon Pegg, Nick Frost

Genres : Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi

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                                      PAUL



                                   Written by

                            Simon Pegg & Nick Frost



                         

          EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

          Caption: Bethlehem Creek, Wyoming 10:19pm 28/07/47

          The air is filled with the sounds of a warm, summer night. A
          light comes on in a FARMHOUSE window. The door opens, a small
          dog and a young girl emerge.

                         GIRL
          Go on now Paul, don't be long.

          The dog trots out across the property. It stops to scratch.
          The sounds of night cease. The dog stops scratching, sniffing
          the air, cocking its head, sensing something. We hear a low
          humming sounds. The dog looks up. We see a soft orange glow
          reflected in its eyes. The dog whimpers
          Back at the farmhouse, a deep, dull thud shakes the ground,
          bringing the small girl back out onto the veranda. An orange
          glow pulsates somewhere out in the darkness.

                         GIRL
          Paul... Paul?
          The girl draws near, illuminated by the orange glow.

                         GIRL
          Paul?!
          The glow fades again.
          MUSIC: "The Boy In The Bubble"� by Paul Simon.

                         TITLE: PAUL

          EXT. SAN DIEGO STREET. PRESENT - DAY

          GRAHAM WILLY (32) and CLIVE GOLLINGS (33) stand in the
          blazing San Diego sunshine, waiting to cross the road. GRAHAM
          is thin but his clothes seem too small. He has long greasy
          hair, buck teeth and thick glasses. CLIVE is bigger and wears
          a long black leather coat, Red Dwarf T-shirt and boots. His
          hair is densely curly and shaped like a pyramid.
          Four people dressed as BORG from Star Trek pass by. GRAHAM
          and CLIVE shrug derisively. The cross-walk beeps.
          As the music kicks in, GRAHAM and CLIVE set off across the
          road towards the San Diego Convention Centre. They make their
          way through a throng of costumed Comic-Con attendees.

          INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. CONVENTION FLOOR - LATER

          GRAHAM and CLIVE are at a fantasy weapons stand. CLIVE is
          brandishing a KATANA SWORD. He test the balance, the weight,
          the sharpness. He closes one eye and looks down the length of
          the blade. He nods appreciatively.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          2.

                         CLIVE
          Beautiful piece.

                         VENDER
          Damn straight. Practical
          performance. 100% Japanese, folded
          steel. Real hero shit.

                         CLIVE
          How much?

                         VENDER

          $1,349.99.
          CLIVE nods, puts the sword down and walks away.

                         GRAHAM
          Aren't you gonna get it?

                         CLIVE
          No, it's rubbish.

          INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. SIGNING PAVILLION - DAY

          We see them on an escalator, walking down a wide corridor,
          passing people in a variety of costumes. Finally, they join a
          line of people waiting to meet the actor, MICHAEL BIEHN.

                         GRAHAM
          What are you going to ask?

                         CLIVE
          Do you feel that the killing of
          Hicks and Newt in Alien 3,
          invalidates Ripley's struggle at
          the closed of the previous
          installment?

                         GRAHAM
          I was going to ask that!

                         CLIVE

                         (IN KLINGON)
          Tough tits four eyes.

                         SECURITY
          Alright, next!
          Suddenly nervous, GRAHAM approaches. MICHAEL BIEHN is signing
          pictures. He is pleasant, if business like.

                         MICHAEL BIEHN
          Hey there. Who's it to?

                         GRAHAM
          Graham.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          3.

                         MICHAEL BIEHN
          Graham.

                         GRAHAM
          Uh... are you... did you?

                         MICHAEL BIEHN
          There you go.
          SECURITY moves GRAHAM on. CLIVE approaches.

                         MICHAEL BIEHN
          Hey there. Who's it to?

                         CLIVE
          Clive.

                         MICHAEL BIEHN
          Clive.

                         CLIVE
          Uh... are you... did you?

                         MICHAEL BIEHN
          There you go.
          SECURITY moves CLIVE on. CLIVE scrambles for his camera.

                         CLIVE
          I... I need to photograph him.

                         SECURITY
          You can take it from there.
          CLIVE and GRAHAM huddle together and try to position
          themselves with MICHAEL BIEHN in the background. CLIVE takes
          the shot. We see a frozen image of CLIVE and GRAHAM, with
          MICHAEL BIEHN barely visible in the background. The pair move
          off, looking at their spoils.

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE

                         (HIGH FIVING)

          YES!

                         GRAHAM
          That was amazing. I was actually a
          bit nervous.

                         CLIVE
          Really? I wasn't.

                         GRAHAM
          Good egg, wasn't he?

                         CLIVE
          Yes, very unaffected. Damn, I
          forgot to give him my card.
          CLIVE points at SECURITY.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          4.

                         GRAHAM
          Give it to Colossus.

                         CLIVE
          Nah. Hey, Rosario Dawson's here!

                         GRAHAM
          She NEEDS to call me.

          INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. SIGNING PAVILLION - LATER

          GRAHAM and CLIVE sit at a table fiddling nervously with pens.
          On either side of them are stacks of their new book; JELVA -
          ALIEN QUEEN OF THE VARVAK. A banner hangs behind, displaying
          the tome's cover, a muscular green woman in a gold bikini
          rides a blue rhino. She lashes at the beast with a laser
          whip. She has three tits. A lanky publicist paces up and
          down, making sure everything is in order.

                         PUBLICIST
          Looks good, right?

                         CLIVE
          Yes, it's very impressive.

                         PUBLICIST
          It really does the image justice. I
          never noticed the third tit.

                         CLIVE
          That was Graham's idea.

                         PUBLICIST
          Ladies man, huh? You guys happy?
          You got enough pens? You wanna
          Snapple? You wanna a Diet Coke?

                         CLIVE
          I'll have a fat Coke please?

                         PUBLICIST
          A fat what?

                         CLIVE
          Coke.

                         PUBLICIST
          Oh you man a FAT Coke.

                         CLIVE
          A what?

                         PUBLICIST
          Fat coke.

                         CLIVE
          Yes please.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          5.

                         GRAHAM
          When do we start?

                         PUBLICIST
          Ten minutes ago.

                         CLIVE
          Why is it so quiet?

                         PUBLICIST
          Sylar's doing a Q and A in the main
          pavillion.

                         CLIVE
          Oh man! I wanted to go to that . I
          wanted to find out if he actually
          eats the brains.

                         PUBLICIST
          I can make a call.

                         CLIVE
          Please.

                         PUBLICIST
          It'll pick up when he's done.

                         GRAHAM
          I'm nervous.

                         CLIVE
          Don't be. The hard work's done, we
          have a great story and as usual
          your renderings jump from the page.

                         PUBLICIST
          Yeah man. Three tits. Awesome.

                         GRAHAM
          Thank you.

                         CLIVE
          All we have to do now is sit back
          and enjoy.
          A child approaches.

                         CLIVE
          Queen Jelva welcomes thee.

                         CHILD
          Do you know where Sylar's on?

                         CLIVE
          Main pavillion.

                         CHILD
          Thanks. Hey, three tits. Awesome.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          6.

          INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. SIGNING PAVILLION - LATER

          Caption: 50 MINUTES LATER
          They are sat in exactly the same position as before. CLIVE
          looks a little downbeat, GRAHAM fidgets with his pens.

                         PUBLICIST
          Okay, that's the hour. How'd we do?

                         CLIVE
          Three copies.

                         PUBLICIST
          Hey, one for each tit. Maybe you
          should have given her four.

                         GRAHAM
          That's sick.

                         PUBLICIST
          Don't sweat it. It's a sleeper.

                         CLIVE
          Yeah, but three copies?

                         PUBLICIST
          Better than Carl Weathers.

                         CLIVE

          YES!

                         GRAHAM
          Would you like a copy?

                         PUBLICIST
          Are you nuts? My office is full of
          junk.
          The PUBLICIST walks away chuckling.

                         CLIVE
          Graham, I need a drink.

          INT. HOTEL. BAR - NIGHT

          GRAHAM and CLIVE are stood against the wall in a bar. GRAHAM
          drinks and elaborate blue cocktail through a straw. CLIVE
          sips from a Jack Daniels and Coke. Everyone else in the bar
          is dressed as a HOBBIT. CLIVE winks at a girl.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          7.

          INT. HOTEL. BEDROOM - NIGHT

          GRAHAM and CLIVE's hotel room is filled with bags of stuff
          from the convention, a laptop computer and a games console
          plugged into the TV. GRAHAM lies on his bed. He is looking at
          a map. Other maps are scattered about.

          CLIVE (O.S.)
          It was like the Prancing Pony in
          there.

                         GRAHAM
          Nasty Hobbitses.
          CLIVE emerges from the bathroom. He is naked but for a black
          towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is wet and suddenly
          incredibly long. Around his neck, a large animal tooth hangs
          on a black leather cord.

                         CLIVE
          They think they're so cool.

                         GRAHAM
          Hey, are you excited about going to
          Area 51?

                         CLIVE
          Hell yes.

                         GRAHAM
          06.30 check out?

                         CLIVE
          A-ffirmative.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE both look at their watches.

                         CLIVE
          Three, two, one...

                         GRAHAM CLIVE
          Beep. Beep.

                         CLIVE
          Good night, Graham.

                         GRAHAM
          Good night, Clive.
          They switch off their respective bedside lights. The room is
          plunged into pitch darkness. A few seconds pass.

                         GRAHAM
          Are you asleep?

                         CLIVE
          No.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          8.

                         GRAHAM
          Shall we try and storm the Citadel
          before we nod off?

                         CLIVE
          Couldn't hurt could it?
          We hear some movement then the room is illuminated by the TV.
          The boys lie on their beds holding games controllers.

                         CLIVE
          Cover me.

          INT. HOTEL. RECEPTION - MORNING

          GRAHAM and CLIVE stand at reception. Both look extremely
          sleepy. CLIVE's eyes close. GRAHAM lolls forward onto the
          reception desk. His head hits the bell.

          DING!

          EXT. HOTEL - MORNING

          The boys stand, waiting for their transport. We see them from
          across the road. A tiny old car splutters up to the curb. A
          valet gets out and hands the keys to CLIVE.

                         VALET
          There you go.

                         GRAHAM
          That's not ours.

                         VALET
          No?

                         CLIVE
          No, that's ours.
          A large RV pulls up. A 1985 Holiday Rambler, Imperial. Top of
          the range in its day. Still looks good.

                         VALET
          Oh.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE run off toward the RV. The four BORG from
          the previous day approach the VALET and exchange the key to
          the car for some small change. The BORG drive off.

                         VALET
          Fucking Borg.
          (giving the finger)
          Assimilate this!
          The RV speeds past the disgruntled VALET. GRAHAM and CLIVE
          can be heard whooping within.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          9.

          INT. RV - MORNING

          CLIVE is seated behind the wheel of their RV, he now wears
          black wrap-around shades. In the back of the RV, GRAHAM
          fusses with maps and provisions.

                         GRAHAM
          Breakfast?

                         CLIVE
          Java. Straight up.

                         GRAHAM
          Any solids?

                         CLIVE
          No, let's punch through. Miles make
          the eggs taste sweeter.

                         GRAHAM
          I love eggs!

                         CLIVE
          I hear that. Now, get that "~Joe' on
          the go and jump in the Chewie seat.
          I need your map skills.

                         GRAHAM
          Good job I pre-pared.
          GRAHAM flicks on the coffee and jumps into the co-pilot's
          (Chewie) seat.

                         GRAHAM
          It's a shame I don't have some
          controls on this side. That way, I
          could take over if you needed the
          loo.

                         CLIVE
          Yeah, I could say "take the helm."�

                         GRAHAM
          "Take the helm, number one."�

                         CLIVE
          Yeah, "take the helm, number one, I
          need a number two."�
          They laugh heartily. Through this, GRAHAM has been taking out
          his laptop and setting it up on the dash board.

                         GRAHAM
          "~Least I've got Cerebro, eh?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          10.

                         CLIVE
          Absolutely. Real-time sat-nav multi
          map and advanced geo-tagging with
          continual info stream?

                         GRAHAM
          Impressive.

                         CLIVE
          Most impressive.

                         GRAHAM
          And let's not forget, we've always
          got Analogue.
          GRAHAM pulls a map down. Obscuring the entire windshield.

                         CLIVE
          Not when we're driving Graham.

                         GRAHAM
          Sorry.
          GRAHAM sends the map back up into the roller. The coffee
          percolator gurgles in the galley.

                         GRAHAM
          Sounds like coffee o'clock.

                         CLIVE
          Thank god. I'm a wreck until I've
          had my first cup of J.
          GRAHAM high fives CLIVE and heads back into the kitchen.

          INT. DINER - DAY

          GRAHAM and CLIVE eat lunch. GRAHAM has finished a plate of
          prawns. He inspects the shells.

                         GRAHAM
          Looks like a pile of dead droids.
          A perky waitress approaches. GRAHAM and CLIVE become shy and
          awkward.

                         WAITRESS
          You boys all set? Can I get you
          anything else?
          GRAHAM spills his drink. CLIVE appears very uneasy.

          INT/EXT. RV - DAY

          They drive in silence, surveying the landscape.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          11.

                         CLIVE
          Amazing, isn't it? There are
          295,734,134 people in this country
          and we haven't seen a soul for a
          hundred miles. Where is everybody?

                         GRAHAM
          What about that old woman on
          crutches we saw hitchhiking?

                         CLIVE
          Apart from her. I suppose that's
          why they established the Dreamland
          facility out here.

                         GRAHAM
          Far from prying eyes.

                         CLIVE
          Did you know the site was selected
          in the mid-1950s for testing of the
          U-2 spyplane, due to its
          remoteness, proximity to existing
          facilities and presence of a dry
          lake bad for landings?

                         GRAHAM
          Yes.

                         CLIVE
          Oh.

                         GRAHAM
          Shall we have a bite before or
          after we hit the Black Mailbox?

                         CLIVE
          Before.

          INT. THE LITTLE A'LE'INN. BAR - EVENING

          GRAHAM and CLIVE tuck into burgers. They are the only
          customers. The interior is replete with various Area 51
          related memorabilia. PAT, (female, 50s) the proprietor,
          speaks to them from behind the counter. She holds up two
          bumper stickers.

                         PAT
          "Watch The Skies"� or "Alien
          Onboard?"�
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look at each other for a few seconds before
          looking back at PAT.

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          "Alien Onboard."�

                         

                         

                         

                         

          12.

                         PAT
          Nice choice. So, where have you
          boys come from?

                         GRAHAM

                         (MUMBLY)
          San Diego.

                         PAT
          Comic-Con?

                         CLIVE
          How could you tell?
          We see GRAHAM and CLIVE looking back at PAT. They look like
          the most painfully obvious Comic-Con attendees ever.

                         PAT
          Just a guess. My nephew launched a
          comic down there a couple of years
          ago. Sort of dramatized the
          accounts of some of the folk we've
          had in here.

                         CLIVE
          Encounter Briefs?

                         PAT
          That's it. You heard of it, huh?

                         CLIVE
          I've got all six.

                         PAT
          Well whaddya know? Small world.

                         CLIVE
          Do you get a lot of UFO types round
          here?
          We see PAT looking back at CLIVE, surrounded by UFO and alien
          paraphernalia, a slight smile on her face.

                         PAT
          Some.

                         GRAHAM
          Have you ever seen one?

                         PAT
          A UFO? Oh, I've seen plenty.

                         GRAHAM
          Really?! You've seen more than one
          UFOs?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          13.

                         PAT
          Well, I don't know what they were.
          So as far as I'm concerned they're
          unidentified and they were
          definitely flying.

                         CLIVE
          And objects.

                         PAT
          Damn straight. Whether or not they
          were spaceships, I can't say.
          Probably not, but I'd like to think
          they were. Be a shame if we were
          the only souls in the universe.

                         CLIVE
          Did you now, it's estimated that
          there are as many as 200 billion
          galaxies in the observable universe
          and each of those has approximately
          40 billion starts, around which
          orbit countless planets and moons?

                         PAT
          Yes.

                         CLIVE
          Oh.

                         PAT
          Makes you think though, don't it?

                         CLIVE
          What?

                         PAT
          Where is everybody?
          GRAHAM and CLIVE ponder this.

                         PAT
          You boys all set?

                         CLIVE
          I'd like a cup of coffee please.

                         PAT
          Sure thing. How about you, sugar?

                         GRAHAM
          Can I have an E.T. malt please?

                         PAT
          You wanna sparkler in that?
          GRAHAM smiles coyly.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          14.

                         PAT
          I'll take that as a yes.
          She beams at the boys and disappears into the kitchen. GRAHAM
          and CLIVE are left alone. They take it all in.

                         CLIVE
          It's nice here, isn't it?

                         GRAHAM
          Absolutely.

                         CLIVE
          I think I might use the loo.
          CLIVE walks through a door marked "~Maliens'. The adjacent
          toilet door (GUS and JAKE) enter. GRAHAM becomes uneasy.

                         PAT
          Yes dear, what can I get you?

                         JAKE
          Two beers.

                         PAT
          Coming right up.

          INT. THE LITTLE A'LE'INN. TOILET - EVENING

          CLIVE washes his hands. He pumps soap from a dispenser which
          is shaped like an alien's head, the soap squirts out of its
          mouth. CLIVE is quite taken with this.

                         CLIVE
          That is absolutely amazing!

          INT. THE LITTLE A'LE'INN. BAR - EVENING

          CLIVE appears out of the toilet with his hands in the air.

                         CLIVE
          Hey Graham, an alien just sicked up
          into my palms.
          CLIVE doesn't see the two men sat up at the counter. He
          strides over to GRAHAM, full of excitement.

                         CLIVE
          I'm joking, of course. They have a
          soap dispenser, shaped like an
          alien's head. When you pump his
          jaw, soap comes out of his mouth.

                         GRAHAM

                         (MUMBLING)
          Clive...

                         

                         

                         

                         

          15.

                         CLIVE
          It's hilarious.
          GRAHAM flicks his eyes to the counter.

                         CLIVE
          What?
          CLIVE looks over and sees the two men. They are glaring back.
          CLIVE immediately loses his confident air.

          PAT (O.S.)
          Here it comes!
          GRAHAM closes his yes, remembering what he ordered. The two
          men turn to see PAT emerge from the kitchen with a tray of
          drinks. Two bottles of beer, one cup of coffee and an absurd
          looking milkshake in a tall glass with a sparkler.

                         PAT
          Okay then, beers for you gentleman.
          A cup of Joe and a extra thick malt
          with a sparkler for the boys from
          outer space.
          The man snigger derisively. PAT senses the tension.

                         PAT
          So, where you boys headed?

                         JAKE
          We're heading into Utah. Do
          ourselves some hunting.

                         GUS
          Deer, coon, beaver, whatever steps
          in front of the bangstick, right
          Jake?
          They throw a look back at GRAHAM and CLIVE.

                         JAKE
          You got that right, Gus.

                         PAT
          Well now, I heard Utah beaver puts
          up quite a fight.

                         GUS
          That's what we're counting on.
          They nudge each other and laugh.

                         PAT
          I better make you something good
          and hot. Long way to The Beehive.
          PAT give GRAHAM and CLIVE a look. CLIVE understands and
          fumbles for hi wallet.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          16.
          He places a number of bills on the table. They leave. GRAHAM
          comes back in and retrieves the bumper sticker. PAT gives him
          a wink. He leaves.

          INT/EXT. RV - EVENING

          GRAHAM boards the RV. CLIVE is in the driver's seat. The
          engine is running.

                         CLIVE
          What took you so long?

                         GRAHAM
          I was putting the sticker on.

                         CLIVE
          They were an odd pair, weren't
          they?

                         GRAHAM
          Definitely didn't speak Bocci.
          CLIVE fires up the engine and jams it into reverse. CRUNCH.

          GRAHAM (CONT'D)
          That wasn't their truck was it?

                         CLIVE
          No.

          EXT. THE LITTLE A'LE'INN - EVENING

          The RV roars off, leaving the car park and the black Lincoln
          Escalade, shiny, mean, dented.

          INT/EXT. RV - NIGHT

          GRAHAM looks at a map. CLIVE drives, continually checking his
          rear view.

                         GRAHAM
          What's the matter?

                         CLIVE
          Nothing. How we doing?

                         GRAHAM
          We should be just about there.
          They scan the roadside for a few seconds.

                         CLIVE
          I've found it.

                         GRAHAM
          Where?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          17.

                         CLIVE

          THERE!!!

          EXT. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY - NIGHT

          The RV comes to a screeching halt. It sits in the road for a
          moment, before it trundles onto the hard shoulder. The door
          opens, GRAHAM and CLIVE appear wearing head mounted torches.
          They wander over to a WHITE mailbox.

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE

                         (REVERENTIALLY)
          The Black Mailbox.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE marvel at it. The silence of the night and
          the size of the landscape dawns on them. They look up.

                         CLIVE
          It's amazing, isn't it? We're
          actually here.

                         GRAHAM
          Area 51.

                         CLIVE
          Dreamland.

                         GRAHAM
          The Groom Lake Military Test
          Facility.

                         CLIVE
          MacArthur's Black Mile.

                         GRAHAM
          Is that a real one?

                         CLIVE
          No, I made it up myself.

                         GRAHAM
          I like it.

                         CLIVE
          Be great if we saw something.

                         GRAHAM
          Yes, imagine if we got buzzed up by
          a craft.

                         CLIVE
          That would be incredible. It just
          sort of stops in the air and hovers
          then just goes up really fast.
          Whoosh.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          18.

                         GRAHAM
          What would you do if they actually
          landed?

                         CLIVE
          Keep it together. First contact is
          a big responsibility. They come in
          peace, we go to pieces? That's not
          how I roll.
          CLIVE looks at GRAHAM who is staring off, wide eyed.

                         CLIVE
          What's wrong?
          GRAHAM points off into the distance. HEADLIGHTS.

                         GRAHAM
          It's them. They found us. I don't
          know how but they found us.

                         CLIVE
          Who? Who's found us?

                         GRAHAM
          The Libyans!

                         CLIVE
          Run for it Marty!
          GRAHAM and CLIVE scramble for the RV.

          INT. RV - NIGHT

          CLIVE drives, GRAHAM looks nervous. In the dashboard of the
          RV is a rear view monitor. They look at it intently.

                         GRAHAM
          Perhaps it's not them. Perhaps
          whoever it was turned doff.

                         CLIVE
          Of course it's them. We're dead.
          It's like Deliverance. They're
          going to rape us and break our
          arms.

                         GRAHAM
          I don't want my arms broken!

                         CLIVE
          There's only one thing for it.

                         GRAHAM
          What?

                         CLIVE
          I'm gonna have to fly blind.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          19.
          CLIVE kills the headlights. They are plunged into darkness,
          still travelling at 65mph. The headlights come back on.

                         CLIVE
          Probably best not to do that. I
          couldn't really see anything.
          They stare at the monitor. Suddenly, creeping up the rear of
          the RV, headlights. The front of a car becomes visible.

                         CLIVE
          Oh God, oh God, oh God.

                         GRAHAM
          I need the toilet.

                         CLIVE
          Me too.
          The vehicle behind pulls out to overtake.

                         CLIVE
          They're trying to overtake.

                         GRAHAM
          Don't let them get past.

                         CLIVE
          Should I ram them?

                         GRAHAM
          What about the deposit?
          CLIVE gingerly jerks the wheel, causing the RV to swerve. A
          BLACK SEDAN car appears next to them, manoeuvering wildly to
          avoid the RV. GRAHAM and CLIVE stare in horror, their eyes
          widen as the car flips over and tumbles several times,
          bouncing across the asphalt and sliding to a smoking stop on
          its roof. GRAHAM's mouth hangs open. CLIVE blinks.

                         CLIVE
          It wasn't them.
          The RV pulls up to the crashed vehicle and stops. GRAHAM and
          CLIVE peer out of the window.

                         CLIVE
          We should see if they're okay.

                         GRAHAM
          I still need a wee.

                         CLIVE
          I can hold mine.
          GRAHAM goes to the back of the RV and into the toilet. CLIVE
          remains int he driving seat, staring out at the mangled
          Sedan. The toilet flushes and GRAHAM reappears.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          20.

                         GRAHAM
          The bulb's gone in there.

          EXT. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY - NIGHT

          GRAHAM and CLIVE step out of the RV and approach the car.
          Inside are three unconscious men. One door is open.

                         CLIVE
          Hello?
          They wait for a few seconds. Nothing.

                         GRAHAM
          Maybe you should call for help.
          GRAHAM pulls out a cell phone and starts to dial.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          I wouldn't do that if I were you.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE spin round to see an indistinct figure
          sitting on a rock in the nearby darkness. The glow of a
          cigarette briefly lights up what appear to be two large,
          black eyes. GRAHAM and CLIVE gawp.

                         CLIVE
          I rather think these men need help.
          Graham, give me the phone.
          GRAHAM passes the phone over.

                         VOICE
          Seriously, I wouldn't do that.
          GRAHAM's mouth falls open, CLIVE continues to hold the phone
          to his ear. We hear the operator.

                         OPERATOR
          911 Emergency. How may I direct
          your call? Hello? Hello?
          GRAHAM and CLIVE continue to gawp. The shape stand and steps
          into the light. GRAHAM and CLIVE go slack. Standing in front
          of them, clad only in cut-off short and flip-flops... is an

          ALIEN.

                         ALIEN
          Put - the phone - down.
          Without the slightest change of expression CLIVE rocks
          backwards in a dead faint. He hits the ground with a bump.
          GRAHAM looks at CLIVE then back at the ALIEN. When GRAHAM
          speaks his voice quivers with hysterical panic.

                         GRAHAM
          What have you done to him?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          21.

                         ALIEN
          I didn't do anything. He fainted.

                         GRAHAM
          Yes but you made him faint.

                         ALIEN
          I did not. Okay I did, but it's not
          like i set my phaser to "~Faint'.

                         GRAHAM
          You've got a phaser!?

                         ALIEN
          No! Look, I need you to help. Can
          you get this guy back onto your
          wagon?

                         GRAHAM
          Are you going to probe us?

                         ALIEN
          No! Where does that come from? Why
          do people always assume we want to
          stick something up their ass?

                         GRAHAM
          Don't you?

                         ALIEN
          No. There's certainly nothing about
          it in the encounter manual. As a
          rule, we don't even abduct. Maybe
          people find it easier to deal with
          earthly transgressions if they
          suppress it with absurd fantasies
          about alien probing.

                         GRAHAM
          What?

                         ALIEN
          It's just a theory. Listen, focus
          okay? I promise you I won't hurt
          you, I just need your help.

                         GRAHAM
          You need my help?

                         ALIEN
          Yes.

                         GRAHAM
          How come I can understand you? Are
          you using some sort of neural
          language router?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          22.

                         ALIEN
          No, I'm speaking English you prick.
          (off GRAHAM's expression)
          Sorry, I'm tense. Look, what's your
          name?

                         GRAHAM
          Graham Willy.

                         ALIEN
          What about him?

                         GRAHAM
          That's the writer, Clive Gollings.

                         ALIEN
          Well, let's get Clive into the RV
          and get going. I'll explain
          everything on the way. Please.

                         GRAHAM
          Where are we going?

                         ALIEN
          North.

                         GRAHAM
          The RV's gotta be back in 2 days.

                         ALIEN
          Well, then we're gonna have to
          hustle, aren't we?

                         GRAHAM

                         BUT-

                         ALIEN
          Look Graham, you're just gonna have
          to trust me, okay?
          GRAHAM looks at the ALIEN. It stands at roughly 3 feet tall.
          His black almond shaped eye glint. His large head tilts to
          one side, his small mouth opens slightly, his long fingers
          clasp together, pleading.

                         ALIEN
          Please man, I need you.
          GRAHAM considers the ALIEN for a moment.

                         GRAHAM
          Okay then.

                         ALIEN
          Great. Thank you.

                         GRAHAM
          What's your name?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          23.

                         ALIEN
          I'm Paul.

                         GRAHAM
          Paul?

                         PAUL
          Yeah. Now let's get Cloverfield
          onto the recreational vehicle and
          get the fuck off MacArthur's Black
          Mile.
          They attempt to move CLIVE. PAUL senses something.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          Oh man, has he...?

                         GRAHAM
          I told him he should have gone.

                         PAUL
          Could have been worse. Know what
          I'm saying?
          They drag him into the RV. The door shuts, a few seconds
          later, GRAHAM appears and runs round to the back of the RV.
          He rips the bumper sticker off and gets back on board. The RV
          starts up and drives off.

          INT/EXT. RV - NIGHT

          GRAHAM drives, agitated. He looks behind him a couple of
          times. PAUL is hunting around in the fridge.

                         PAUL
          Can I have this ham?

                         GRAHAM
          Uh... yes.

                         PAUL
          Great!
          PAUL starts to dangle strips of sandwich ham into his mouth,
          wolfing it down hungrily.

                         GRAHAM
          Paul? Where am I going again?

                         PAUL
          I told you, North. Do you have a
          map?
          GRAHAM pulls the map. It obscures the wind shield.

                         PAUL
          Not when we're driving, Graham.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          24.
          The map disappears back up into the roller.

                         GRAHAM
          Sorry.

                         PAUL
          Just head North. We need to get as
          much distance as we can between us
          and them.

                         GRAHAM
          Them? Who's them?

          EXT. THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL HIGHWAY - NIGHT

          We hear the noise of engines, then boots on concrete as a
          dozen soldiers rush the area, attending the crash. A suited
          man gets out of a Sedan car. We don't see his face at first.
          The shot remains at his hip. He reaches into his pocket and
          pulls out a Twinkie. He unwraps it and brings it up to his
          mouth. We follow and see his face for the first time.
          Chiselled, focused, confident. This is SPECIAL AGENT ZOIL. A
          SOLDIER approaches.

                         CAPTAIN
          Sir?

                         ZOIL
          Talk to me.

                         CAPTAIN
          Three survivors, company men, hurt
          but alive.

                         ZOIL
          Anyone else?

                         CAPTAIN
          No sir.
          ZOIL looks into the sky and breathes in the night air.

                         CAPTAIN
          What's this?
          The CAPTAIN motions to a patch of moisture near his feet.
          ZOIL touches the wet patch and licks his finger.

                         CAPTAIN
          What is it sir? Brake fluid? Gas?

                         ZOIL
          No. It's neither of those things.
          He looks around, then notices tire tracks in the dust by the
          side of the road. ZOIL stands, full of purpose. He returns to
          his car and hits a button on the dash.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          25.

                         VOICE
          What's the situation?

                         ZOIL
          We have a guest who's left the
          hotel without paying, sir.

                         VOICE
          Damn it! Do you think he's "~left'
          left?

                         ZOIL
          Doubtful. NORAD would have picked
          up a bogie. Those guys can track
          Santa. No sir, he's still here.
          Question is, for how long?

                         VOICE
          Don't you think this is all a bit
          of a coincidence?

                         ZOIL
          How so?

                         VOICE
          I signed the red document this
          morning, Zoil. Don't you think it's
          odd that he chooses today to go
          AWOL? How did he know?

                         ZOIL
          Are you suggesting he has someone
          on the inside.

                         VOICE
          Maybe.

                         ZOIL
          Well he's definitely got someone on
          the outside.

                         VOICE
          What?

                         ZOIL
          Tire tracks, sir. Tire tracks...
          among other things. I'd bet my left
          nut that little bastard's hitched a
          ride.

                         VOICE
          Lock down the area. Road blocks,
          spot checks, the whole nine yards.
          You're going to handle this
          personally, Zoil. I want this
          wrapped up before Letterman.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          26.

          EXT/INT. RV. NIGHT - A FEW HOURS LATER

          Close on the wheel. Pull out to reveal the RV.
          Inside, CLIVE's eyes open. From the bathroom, CLIVE can hear
          the sound of someone noisily emptying their bladder. He
          notices his jeans have been pegged up to dry. He leans out to
          see GRAHAM in the driving seat, then looks back at the
          bathroom door. The toilet flushes.
          CLIVE pretends to be asleep as the door opens. A pair of
          skinny grey legs in cut-off shorts pass the bunk.

                         PAUL
          The bulb's gone in there.
          CLIVE gets up silently and wraps his black towel around his
          middle. He creeps toward the front of the RV. GRAHAM drives,
          PAUL sits in the Chewie seat eating pistachios.

                         PAUL
          I hate it when you get the closed
          ones, right?

                         GRAHAM
          I usually bite them open.

                         PAUL
          Are you fucking insane? You gotta
          tap "~em and if they don't open you
          throw them away.

                         GRAHAM
          That's molluscs.

                         PAUL
          Shut up.

                         GRAHAM
          It's true.

                         (NOTICES CLIVE)
          Hello Clive! How are you feeling?

                         CLIVE
          I'm feeling like I've gone MENTAL
          MAD, Graham. If that is your name?
          You're happily sitting there
          chatting to... to... that, like
          it's the most natural thing in the
          world. The two of you laughing away
          like you haven't seen each other
          since 1990.
          PAUL spits a shell out into a cup.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          27.

          CLIVE (CONT'D)
          So forgive me if I seem a little
          rattled but from where I'm standing
          it would appear you are trading nut
          knowledge with an alien life form.

                         GRAHAM
          His name is Paul.

                         CLIVE
          Oh, Paul is it? Paul what? Paul
          Verhoven? Paul Freeman? Paul
          Reiser?

                         PAUL
          Just Paul. You know, like Madonna
          or Dracula.

                         GRAHAM
          Paul's from a small planet in the
          northern spiral arm of the
          Andromeda Galaxy.

                         CLIVE
          No he is not!

                         PAUL
          I am man, seriously.

                         CLIVE
          How could he possibly have
          travelled that distance?

                         PAUL
          Wormhole.

                         CLIVE
          Balls! Graham, this isn't what it
          seems. What about Ocham's Razor?

                         GRAHAM
          The hairdressers?

                         CLIVE
          Yes, the old man who owns it told
          me that, in unbelievable
          circumstances, the most plausible
          explanation is usually the truth.

                         PAUL
          And what's the most plausible
          explanation, Clive?

                         CLIVE
          That you're a thin midget in an
          alien costume.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          28.

                         PAUL
          There's no such thing as a thin
          midget? Those guys are built. Have
          you not seen The Station Agent?

                         GRAHAM
          He's right. I think that's less
          believable than Paul being form a
          planet in the norther spiral arm of
          the Andromeda Galaxy.

          CLIVE (CONT'D)
          Oh really?
          With this CLIVE grabs at PAUL. He pulls at the alien's skin,
          trying to gain a hold of a mask.

                         PAUL
          Ow! Get off me!

                         CLIVE
          You're not real. You're not real!

                         GRAHAM
          Excuse me.

                         PAUL
          Get off me, you fucking psycho!

                         GRAHAM

          EXCUSE ME!
          CLIVE releases PAUL and looks out of the RV to see the
          flashing lights of a road block. GRAHAM slows down.

                         CLIVE
          Oh shit!
          CLIVE looks round to discover that PAUL has vanished. GRAHAM
          pulls the RV onto the hard shoulder.

                         CLIVE
          Where's he gone?

                         GRAHAM
          Maybe he beamed up.

                         CLIVE
          As if. We would have seen the
          classic shimmer and hum.

                         GRAHAM
          Good point.

          BANG, BANG, BANG!
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look to the door. Both terrified.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          29.

          EXT. DESERT ROAD - NIGHT

          GRAHAM and CLIVE stand outside the RV being questioned by an
          AGENT dressed like ZOIL. We can hear noise and activity from
          the RV. Another AGENT is aboard the RV.

                         AGENT 1
          Where you boys from? Australia?

                         CLIVE
          Britain.

                         AGENT 1
          Ah. G'day mate.
          The AGENT smiles. GRAHAM and CLIVE look terrified.

                         AGENT 1
          Whatcha doin' in the US fellas?

                         CLIVE/GRAHAM
          Comic-con.

                         AGENT 1
          You're a long way from San Diego.

                         CLIVE
          We were having a little drive.

                         AGENT 1
          Is that right?

          AGENT 2 (O.S.)
          Hey Haggard?!

                         HAGGARD
          Yeah?
          O'REILLY appears at the door waving a 10x8"� photograph.

                         O'REILLY
          These guys have met Michael Biehn.

                         HAGGARD
          No shit! How was he?

                         CLIVE
          He was a good egg.

                         GRAHAM
          Very unaffected.

                         HAGGARD
          That's nice to hear.

                         (TO AGENT 2)
          O'Reilly? Anything else?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          30.

                         O'REILLY
          Just some pissy jeans.
          HAGGARD looks down at the towel wrapped around CLIVE's waits.
          CLIVE look embarrassed.

                         HAGGARD
          Okay, you guys can go.

                         CLIVE
          Thank you. May I ask what you're
          searching for?

                         HAGGARD
          Of course you may.
          There is a slight pause. GRAHAM and CLIVE board the RV.

          INT/EXT. RV - NIGHT

          GRAHAM and CLIVE pull away in silence. They are both confused
          and shaken.

                         CLIVE
          Well, it's pretty obvious what
          happened there, isn't it?

                         GRAHAM
          Is it?

                         CLIVE
          Yes, the government used some sort
          of neurotoxic paint on the Black
          Mailbox, which was white by the
          way, and it caused us to suffer a
          shared hallucination about an
          alien. I mean, it's what we've
          always wanted, isn't it?

                         GRAHAM
          I suppose so.

                         CLIVE
          Than that's what happened.
          PAUL materializes from thin air behind them.

                         PAUL

          WRONG!

          EXT. DESERT ROAD - NIGHT

          The sound of screeching tires draws the attention of the two
          AGENTS. They see the RV swerve across the road in the
          distance before righting itself and continuing on its way.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          31.

          INT. RV - NIGHT


                         CLIVE
          Where the hell did you go?

                         PAUL
          Nowhere.

                         GRAHAM
          What, you went invisible?

                         PAUL
          It's not invisibility per so. It's
          more like what a chameleon does
          with a little light blending thrown
          in for good measure.

                         GRAHAM
          Like Predator?

                         PAUL
          Exactly.

                         GRAHAM
          Can you do it whenever you want?

                         PAUL

                         (PREDATOR VOICE)
          Anytime...

          EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

          We hear GRAHAM squeal with delight. The RV guns up the road
          into the night.

          INT. RV - DAYBREAK

          CLIVE drives in silence. PAUL sits in the passenger seat
          eating nuts. Day is breaking over the horizon. GRAHAM snoozes
          on the sofa. PAUL offers CLIVE a nut.

                         CLIVE
          No thank you.

                         PAUL
          You sure? How about a cup of
          coffee?
          (sees he's tempted)
          Come on Hulk, I'll get you a nice
          cuppa J.
          PAUL goes back to the galley, flicking GRAHAM on the nose as
          he passes. GRAHAM wakes up with a start.

                         PAUL
          Hey, look who's up!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          32.

                         GRAHAM
          Hello Paul.
          GRAHAM approaches CLIVE who ignores him.

                         GRAHAM
          What's the matter?

                         CLIVE
          Graham, there is a Grey in the
          galley, making me coffee.

                         GRAHAM
          Did you want tea?

                         CLIVE
          No, I don't want tea.

                         GRAHAM
          Tea's a bit weird in America, isn't
          it?

                         CLIVE
          No, what's wried, Graham, is that
          we have picked up an extra
          terrestrial hitch hiker and you
          seem completely fine with it!

                         GRAHAM
          He needs our help, Clive.
          PAUL returns with the coffee. GRAHAM and CLIVE curtail their
          conversation. PAUL hand CLIVE his coffee.

                         PAUL CLIVE
          You got it? Yes I've got it.

                         PAUL CLIVE
          It's hot. (slightly testy)
          Thank you.
          GRAHAM looks at Paul and nods toward CLIVE. PAUL sighs and
          sits in the Chewie seat. GRAHAM hangs back...

                         PAUL
          Look Clive, I'm gonna go out on a
          limb and say this is probably the
          weirdest thing that's ever happened
          to you. Am i right?
          CLIVE doesn't deny it.

                         PAUL
          And I appreciate the fact that I
          have somewhat gate-crashed the
          party here but, truth be told, I'm
          in a hell of a pickle. I really
          need your help.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          33.

                         CLIVE
          Why us?

                         PAUL
          Why not?
          CLIVE glances back at an expectant GRAHAM.

                         CLIVE
          What about the RV? It has to be
          back in two days.

                         GRAHAM
          Clive, he's an alien. A living,
          breathing, alien.
          CLIVE look at PAUL who makes a sad face and does the hand
          gesture from Close Encounters. CLIVE wilts.

                         CLIVE
          I suppose we could phone the hire
          company and get an extension.
          PAUL looks super-pleased.

                         CLIVE
          How did you get here?

                         PAUL
          Crashed in "~47. Anti-grav failure.

                         GRAHAM
          Happens to the best of us.

                         PAUL
          Also, I'm a shit driver.

                         CLIVE
          Oh my God! Roswell?! That was you?!

                         PAUL
          Roswell was a smoke-screen man,
          designed to distract from the
          truth.

                         CLIVE
          They invented a fake alien crash to
          distract from an actual alien
          crash?

                         PAUL
          I know, fucking stupid, isn't it?

                         CLIVE
          What have you been doing here all
          this time?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          34.

                         PAUL
          Oh you know, kickin' back, shooting
          the shit. Advising the government.

                         GRAHAM
          Not just the government.

          INT. ROOM - DAY


                         CAPTION: 1980
          A room lit by a single bulb, furnished with a table and
          chair. PAUL sits with his back to us, he is smoking a
          cigarette, whilst talking on the phone. We hear the voice on
          the other end of the line. It is strangely familiar.

                         STEVEN SPIELBERG
          ...I want him to have some kind of
          special power, you know? Something
          sort of messianic...

                         PAUL
          How about molecular revivification.

                         STEVEN SPIELBERG
          I don't know what that is.

                         PAUL
          Restoration of damaged tissue
          through telepathic manipulation of
          cellular intrinsic field memory.

                         STEVEN SPIELBERG
          I...uh...

                         PAUL
          Healing, Steven.

                         STEVEN SPIELBERG
          Oh right yeah. Like by touch sort
          of thing? His little finger could
          light up at the end and-

                         PAUL
          You know what? Sometimes, less is
          more.
          The line beeps.

                         STEVEN SPIELBERG
          You got another call?

                         PAUL
          Yeah I gotta take this man. It's
          the fucking V guys again.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          35.

          INT. RV - DAY


                         PAUL
          Right.

                         GRAHAM
          You'd be surprised how much he's
          influenced popular culture
          generally over the last 60 years.

                         CLIVE

                         (TO GRAHAM)
          How come you know so much?

                         GRAHAM
          We had quite a long chat while you
          were unconscious.
          CLIVE looks miffed.

                         GRAHAM
          ...while you were asleep.

                         PAUL
          You want a bagel Clive?

                         CLIVE
          No thanks.

                         PAUL
          Graham?

                         GRAHAM
          Yes please.

                         CLIVE
          Go on then, I'll have half.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          You want anything on it?

                         CLIVE
          Jam.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          What?

                         CLIVE
          Jelly.

                         PAUL
          Gotcha.
          PAUL heads to the kitchen. The boys drive in silence.

                         GRAHAM
          I gave your jeans a swill and hung
          them up.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          36.

                         CLIVE
          Thank you. So, do you know where
          we're going?

                         GRAHAM
          Just North. He said we had to make
          a right at Utah.

                         CLIVE
          Why can't he tell us?

                         GRAHAM
          He said it was a surprise.

                         CLIVE
          Do you trust him, Graham? I mean,
          is he Strider or Black Rider?

                         GRAHAM
          Strider, definitely.

                         CLIVE
          You'd better be right. I don't want
          to wake up and find him inserting a
          probe into my anus.

                         GRAHAM
          It's okay, he doesn't do that.
          PAUL returns with three bagels on one long finger.

                         PAUL
          Bagel time!
          The dashboard beeps. PAUL jumps throwing them into the air.

                         GRAHAM
          Fuel level's critical.

                         PAUL
          Sorry, I had a warning light just
          like that on my ship.

                         GRAHAM
          For fuel?

                         PAUL
          Anti-grav failure.
          CLIVE is looking at the sat-nav on the computer.

                         CLIVE
          There's a place called Ely five
          miles from here. It's small but
          there should be a gas station.

                         GRAHAM
          Roger that, number one.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          37.
          CLIVE smiles at GRAHAM and flashes PAUL a triumphant look.
          PAUL coughs loudly, barely disguising the word "Geeks"�.

          INT. RV - MORNING

          GRAHAM and CLIVE peer out at the gas station. It appears
          deserted. PAUL has his head in the fridge, he cracks open a
          V8, strolls to the front of the RV and honks the horn. An OLD
          MAN peers out of the gas station window and waves.

                         CLIVE
          Paul, don't do that!

                         PAUL
          Here's what I need. Some organic
          beef mince, organic pork, some
          veal, red onions, pine nuts,
          pecorino cheese, plum tomatoes, a
          fistful of fresh basil and 3 war
          ciabattas.

                         CLIVE
          You know this is a gas station?
          PAUL looks disappointed.

          EXT. GAS STATION - DAY

          The door to the RV opens, CLIVE and GRAHAM step out onto the
          forecourt, trying to look as casual as they can.

                         CLIVE
          Ready?

                         GRAHAM
          Ready.
          HOOOONNNNNKKKK! GRAHAM and CLIVE jump.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          Get me some more peanut M&Ms.
          GRAHAM goes into the store, CLIVE to the pumps. A POLICE
          CRUISER pulls onto the forecourt. CLIVE goes pale and fumbles
          the nozzle back into the pump. He walks toward the checkout
          as a STATE TROOPER exits his car. No matter how hard he
          tries, CLIVE cannot avoid reaching the door at the same time
          as the STATE TROOPER. He is tall, wide and bald.

                         STATE TROOPER
          After you.

                         CLIVE
          Thanks.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          38.

          EXT. DESERT ROAD - MORNING

          Close up on O'REILLY. He covers his face with his hands.

                         O'REILLY
          Coming... ready or not!
          O'REILLY uncovers his eyes and comes face to face with ZOIL.
          ZOIL is eating an orange, he offers a segment to O'REILLY.

                         ZOIL
          Orange?

                         O'REILLY
          No thanks.

                         ZOIL
          Nice and juicy.

                         O'REILLY
          I don't want to spoil breakfast.

                         ZOIL
          Do you mind telling me what's going
          on, Agent?

                         O'REILLY
          Just keeping ourselves occupied
          sir. Things are pretty slow.

                         ZOIL
          Where's the other one?

                         O'REILLY
          I don't know, let's see. Haggard?
          HAGGARD steps out from behind the only man shaped cactus on
          the entire desert plain. O'REILLY can't help but let out a
          snort of delighted surprise. HAGGARD hurries over.

                         HAGGARD
          Sorry, I was just... hiding.

                         ZOIL
          I see. You fellas had much traffic
          through here?

                         HAGGARD
          Just a big RV driven by a couple of
          nerds.

                         ZOIL
          Nerds, huh?

                         HAGGARD
          Yeah, they'd been to Comic-Con and
          met Michael Biehn.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          39.

                         ZOIL
          I've heard he's nice.

                         HAGGARD
          Good egg.

                         O'REILLY
          Very unaffected.

                         ZOIL
          Did you search the vehicle
          thoroughly?

                         O'REILLY
          Yes sir.

                         ZOIL
          Find anything?

                         O'REILLY
          Not really. Just Michael Biehn's
          autograph and some pissy jeans.
          Close in on ZOIL. He seems suddenly motivated.

                         ZOIL
          Did you get the license plate?
          HAGGARD and O'REILLY look sheepish.

                         ZOIL
          Make?
          More sheepishness.

                         HAGGARD
          It was big.

                         ZOIL
          I want everything you can remember.
          Descriptions of the occupants,
          height, hair, distinguishing
          features. We can do it on the way.

                         HAGGARD
          On the way?

                         ZOIL
          You're coming with me.

                         O'REILLY
          What about the road block sir?

                         ZOIL
          It didn't work.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          40.

          INT. GAS STATION - MORNING

          GRAHAM joins CLIVE at the check out, clutching a bag of
          jerky, a bottle of chocolate milk, a burrito, a Coke, some
          mini doughnuts and a massive bag of peanut M&Ms.

                         CLIVE
          Don't you think that's a bit much?
          Put it all back. Except the
          burrito... and the doughnuts... and
          the chocolate milk. Let's just pay
          for it and leave.

                         GRAHAM
          We need bulb for the toilet.

                         CLIVE
          Essential only, Graham!
          They head to the counter. So does the STATE TROOPER.

                         STATE TROOPER
          Morning Chris!

                         CHRIS
          Hey Dean.

                         STATE TROOPER
          Who do you think I had in my office
          this morning?

                         CHRIS
          Jeremy Piven?

                         STATE TROOPER
          No. The Secret Service.
          GRAHAM bumps into a display of sunglasses and just stops it
          tumbling. CHRIS and the STATE TROOPER glance over.

                         CHRIS
          They find out how you can afford a
          Dodge Viper on troopers pay?

                         STATE TROOPER
          Not yet. They're all over this
          crash on the road up to Rachel.

                         CHRIS
          What you think's going on?

                         STATE TROOPER
          Don't know, could be Muslims.

                         CHRIS
          Jesus Cheeerist!
          CLIVE and GRAHAM sidle up to the check-out.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          41.

                         STATE TROOPER
          You go right ahead.

                         CLIVE
          Thank you very much, officer.

                         STATE TROOPER
          Where're you guys from?

                         GRAHAM
          Britain.

                         STATE TROOPER
          Britain, huh? Nice place. No guns!

                         CHRIS
          No guns? Jesus Cheeerist.
          CHRIS take the money and the boys leave. The STATE TROOPER
          and CHRIS watch them go.

          EXT. GAS STATION - MORNING

          The boys hurry across the forecourt past the cop car, we hear
          the radio spring to life as they pass.

                         POLICE CONTROLLER
          All units, be on the lookout for a
          cream and brown Recreational
          Vehicle, no plate number at this
          time. Officers are advised to
          contain but not board. Dean, if you
          still at Gas and Go, bring back a
          quart a milk and a box of doughnut
          holes? Dean?
          GRAHAM and CLIVE stop and stare, listening intently.

          HOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKK!

          INT. RV - SOMETIME LATER

          PAUL sit on the sofa catching M&Ms in his mouth. GRAHAM
          drives, CLIVE sits in the Chewie seat.

                         CLIVE
          It's find for you. You'll get
          whisked back to whatever lab they
          kept you in and we'll be arrested
          for harbouring a fugitive and sent
          to Guantanamo Bay.
          PAUL laughs.

                         CLIVE
          Why's everything so funny? They
          think we're Muslims.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          42.

                         PAUL
          That's their excuse for everything.
          There are worse things you can be.
          We had a Muslim guy at the base.
          Systems analyst called Yusef. We
          used to do karaoke on Tuesday
          nights. You should'a heard him do
          Matthew and Son. Shame I didn't get
          a chance to say salam alaikum.

                         CLIVE
          Paul, the authorities know we're in
          an TV.

                         PAUL
          We're hardly the only RV on the
          road. Trust me, if we stay off the
          highways, keep to the back routes,
          we'll have a nice uneventful
          journey.
          BANG!!! Something strikes the windshield. Everyone jumps.
          GRAHAM bring the RV to a halt. Silence.

          EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

          The door to the RV swings open, CLIVE and GRAHAM step out.
          The desert road is silent. We can see for miles. On the road
          lies a yellow and black bird, it is very dead.

                         PAUL
          Fuck, that made me jump.

                         CLIVE
          Ah yes, the waspish markings of a
          Scott's Oriole. Unmistakable.

                         PAUL
          What a waste.

                         GRAHAM
          Poor thing.

                         CLIVE
          Nothing anyone could've done.
          PAUL looks at them, then scoops the bird up in his hands.

                         GRAHAM
          What are you doing?
          PAUL closes his eyes. His skin ripples with color as he sways
          slightly. The bird's eyes flicker, its head lifts, it opens
          its beak and tweets. GRAHAM and CLIVE are astounded by what
          they are seeing.

                         GRAHAM
          It's a miracle!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          43.
          PAUL stuff the bird in his mouth with a grotesque crunch.

                         PAUL
          I'll miss these.

                         CLIVE
          Why would you do that?

                         PAUL
          I'm not gonna eat a dead bird, am

          I?

          EXT. GAS STATION - DAY

          ZOIL and his men are parked on the forecourt of the gas
          station. ZOIL is talking to the STATE TROOPER and CHRIS.

                         STATE TROOPER
          By the time I got the bulletin,
          they were long gone. Seemed like
          nice fellas to me.

                         CHRIS
          Is it true they was Muslims?

                         STATE TROOPER
          They said they were British.

                         ZOIL
          I think you can be both.

                         CHRIS
          Jesus Cheeeeerist!

                         HAGGARD
          Agent Zoil?

                         ZOIL
          Excuse me gentlemen.
          ZOIL leaves with the two men and returns to his vehicle. The
          voice of ZOIL's superior cuts the air.

                         VOICE
          Report.

                         ZOIL
          We've tracked them down to a gas
          station in Ely.

                         VOICE
          So why am I not witting with my
          feet up, smoking a jay, watching
          Erin Brockovich?

                         ZOIL
          We think he may be travelling in an
          RV with two British men sir.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          44.

                         VOICE
          Goddamnit, I knew we should have
          gone ahead with invasion in "~44.
          What are they, MI6?

                         ZOIL
          No, sir. Just a couple of nerds on
          the lamb from Comic-Con.

                         VOICE
          Shit. My sister's kid went to that.
          Little Manga faggot.

                         ZOIL
          I still think this stinks, sir.

                         VOICE
          Like fat man doo-doo. It's too much
          of a coincidence. He sits tight for
          60 years and then suddenly now he
          decides to take off. If he wanted
          to go home so bad, he could've just
          given us the slip when he was
          playing golf with J. Edgar Hoover.

                         ZOIL
          Someone must have told him. We need
          to find the rat.

                         VOICE
          Leave that to me. In the meantime,
          if E.T. is still M.I.A. in the P.M.
          then F.Y.I. I'm tearing someone a
          new A. O.K.?

                         ZOIL
          Yes sir.

          INT. RV - DUSK

          GRAHAM is sat in the Chewie seat, PAUL is reading Jelva,
          Queen Of The Varvak. CLIVE drives.

                         GRAHAM
          What do you think?

                         PAUL
          Ask me when I've finished it.
          CLIDE rubs his yes.

                         GRAHAM
          You tired, Sausage?

                         CLIVE

                         (WHISPERING)
          Don't call me Sausage in front of
          him.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          45.

                         GRAHAM
          Sorry. Are you tired though?

                         CLIVE
          Mummy, I am bushed.

                         GRAHAM
          What do you need?

                         CLIVE
          Best case, I'd like a cold flannel
          on my neck and an honest meal.

                         GRAHAM
          I hear that, Big-Rig. I can still
          call you Big-Rig can't I?

                         CLIVE
          Sure. Just not Sausage. Any luck
          with an RV park? We need somewhere
          off the beaten track, n'est pas?

                         GRAHAM
          Roger that. Cup of Joe?

                         CLIVE
          You read my mind.
          GRAHAM head to the galley, ignoring PAUL, who jumps into the
          Chewie seat and stares at CLIVE.

                         CLIVE
          Can I help you?

                         PAUL
          You want a cigarette?

                         CLIVE
          No, thank you. I don't smoke.
          PAUL lights a cigarette, the smoke wafts into CLIVE's face.

                         PAUL
          Look, I'm sorry okay? About eating
          the bird.
          CLIVE continues to ignore PAUL. GRAHAM arrives with the
          coffee and a Honey Bun cake.

                         GRAHAM
          Honey Bun?

                         CLIVE
          Could you unwrap it for me?

                         GRAHAM
          By your command.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          46.
          GRAHAM unwraps the cake and pops it into CLIVE's gob. PAUL
          watches. GRAHAM disappears to the back of the RV.

                         PAUL
          Let me ask you something. Are you
          to...?

                         CLIVE
          What?

                         PAUL
          You know...
          PAUL does a very weird, very long charade, demonstrating
          various "~group' and "~one on one' homosexual practices.

                         CLIVE
          No!

                         PAUL
          Okay, that's great. I just
          wondered. I'm cool with it.
          Everyone's "~bi' where I'm from.
          It's all about the pleasure thing,
          you know? We've evolved beyond
          paranoid notions of gender
          identity. I mean, procreation is
          only the functional aspect of
          sexual congress right? The human
          race is fairly advanced but most
          males still act like a cornered
          tiger if you imply the like
          "~smoking the bone' and let's face
          it they probably do. Look at single
          sex, empirical institutions,
          boarding schools, prisons, pirate
          ships, places where the choice has
          been removed, everyone's banging
          everyone else and there isn't a
          whiff of socio-cultural angst. Get
          out into the real world and guys
          are getting smacked int he chops
          for wearing pink socks. You think
          you're so sophisticated because you
          can distinguish yourself from your
          own reflection but ultimately
          you're part of a deeply neurotic
          species and you'd all be a lot
          better off if you stopped worrying
          and learned to love the bum.

                         CLIVE
          What are you trying to say?

                         PAUL
          Maybe you should start smoking.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          47.

          INT. RV - EVENING

          Later, the RV pulls up to gate at the front of an RV park.
          GRAHAM is now in the Chewie seat, PAUL stands behind,
          steadying himself on the backs of their chairs.

                         CLIVE
          Great find, Graham.

                         GRAHAM
          I sourced a website listing off the
          beaten track, North American RV
          parks.

                         PAUL
          I really lucked out with you nerds,
          didn't I?
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look proud. CLIVE drives the RV over a speed
          hump into the park. PAUL loses his balance and falls over.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE laugh. They pull up to a gate.

                         GRAHAM
          It's awfully quiet.

                         CLIVE
          Just the way we like it.
          PAUL scrambles to his feet, reaches across CLIVE and rest on
          the horn.

          HOOOOOOONNNNK!

                         CLIVE
          Stop doing that!

                         GRAHAM
          Someone's coming.
          PAUL shimmers and disappears. GRAHAM and CLIVE yelp.

                         VOICE
          Hello?

                         CLIVE
          (quietly to Graham)
          We're just a couple of regular guys
          on a tour of the less touristy side
          of the American midwest.

                         GRAHAM
          I don't think she heard you.

                         CLIVE
          I was talking to you.

                         GRAHAM
          Oh, sorry.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          48.

                         VOICE
          Hello?
          GRAHAM opens the door. RUTH BEHE, a young woman in her mid-
          twenties stands outside. She is pretty but has no idea. She
          wears glasses, one eye of which is blacked out. GRAHAM stares
          at her. We hear the slide guitar moment from Olivia Newton
          John's "Hopelessly Devoted To You"�.

                         RUTH
          Good evening, I'm Ruth Behe.

                         CLIVE
          Hello Ruth. Do you mind if we come
          in?

                         RUTH
          Sure. Park in Bay 9. The charge is
          $50 for the night, plus $10 for
          hook ups an I'll need to hang onto
          an ID too.
          CLIVE disappears, leaving GRAHAM and RUTH alone.

                         GRAHAM
          We're just a couple of regular guys
          on tour of the less touristy side
          of the American midwest.

                         RUTH
          Where you heading next?

                         GRAHAM
          Uh, east... apparently.
          CLIVE returns with his passport. RUTH looks at it.

                         RUTH
          England?

                         CLIVE
          Yes. London.

                         RUTH
          I love London.

                         CLIVE
          Have you been?

                         RUTH
          No. Did you know it was founded by
          the Romans in AD 43 as Londinium?

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          Yes.

                         RUTH
          Oh. I'd love to go someday.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          49.

                         GRAHAM
          You should.

                         RUTH
          There's lots a places I wanna go.
          Europe. Asia. The Antipodes. The
          world's a big place. I need one of
          these though.

                         CLIVE
          You don't have a passport?
          RUTH shakes her head forlornly. GRAHAM and CLIVE stare.

          MALE VOICE (O.S.)
          RUTH! RUTH! Get in here! I'm hungry

                         RUTH
          That's my father. I'll come over
          and take your money in the morning.
          Have a pleasant night now, won't
          you?
          RUTH opens the gate to allow CLIVE to drive through. GRAHAM
          watches RUTH intently as they pass.

                         CLIVE
          Doors to manual and cross check.
          Graham? Graham?

                         GRAHAM
          Hmmm?
          PAUL re-materializes next to GRAHAM and CLIVE.

                         PAUL

          BOO!

          EXT. RV PARK - NIGHT

          RUTH is walking back to a static mobile home. From the RV we
          hear GRAHAM and CLIVE yelp. RUTH furrows her brow, turns
          back, and goes inside.

          INT. BEHE RESIDENCE - NIGHT

          RUTH enters a static mobile home and heads for kitchenette.
          From the ad-joining room we hear the sound of someone using a
          police radio scanner. Garbled reports fade in and out. We
          perhaps even hear ZOIL's voice briefly amid the static.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          What took you so long?

                         RUTH
          I was just talking.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          50.
          RUTH stirs a pot on the stove. She surreptitiously retrieves
          an atlas from a drawer an starts to read.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          You talk to much.

                         RUTH
          Sorry Papa.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          How long they staying?

                         RUTH
          Just the night I think

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          Hook ups?

                         RUTH
          Uh-huh.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          Where they headed?

                         RUTH
          East.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          Them California plates I saw?

                         RUTH
          Yes, but they're from London.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          London, Ohio?

                         RUTH
          No, London, England.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          Where?!

                         RUTH
          England, Papa. It's in North
          Western Europe.
          The atlas is snatched out of RUTH's hands. Behind her stands
          the towering figure of MOSES BEHE. Almost as wide as he is
          tall, his eyes glitter with fury and menace.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Europe? I'll give you Europe,
          missy. Now, get and make my supper.
          MOSES lumbers off with the atlas. RUTH looks dejected.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          51.

          EXT. RV PARK - LATER

          QUICK CUTS as GRAHAM and CLIVE hook up power and water to the
          RV and prepare a small BBQ.

          INT. RV - MOMENTS LATER

          The door to the RV opens, GRAHAM and CLIVE jump in. PAUL
          lowers his book and is blinded by their headlamps.

                         PAUL
          Arrghh, what the fuck?!

                         GRAHAM
          Hungry?

                         PAUL
          I ate already.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look suddenly sad.

                         PAUL
          Too soon?
          They nod.

                         PAUL
          Hey, I'm sorry. I'd love to break
          bread with you guys. What are we
          having?
          GRAHAM waves a foot long hot dog around.

                         GRAHAM
          Willies!
          PAUL gives CLIVE a "~see what I mean?' look.

                         CLIVE
          I'll flame up the BBQ pit. Fire's
          my forte.
          CLIVE sparks up his lighter and waves it around looking
          mysterious. He then turns and jumps down all three steps and
          slams the door of the RV behind him.

          EXT. RV PARK - NIGHT

          CLIVE is squirting lighter fluid over a fire. He flicks his
          tongue out, summoning the flames higher. PAUL materializes
          nearby, making CLIVE jump. He composes himself.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          52.

                         PAUL
          Hello Clive. From the squirting of
          the gas and the flicking of the
          tongue, am I do assume you're a
          Hendrix fan?

                         CLIVE
          I am actually, yes.

                         PAUL
          I met him once.

                         CLIVE
          Really?

                         PAUL
          Yeah. Nice man, really soft, He
          thought I was a hallucination.
          Shame what happened to him.

                         CLIVE
          All the good ones die.

                         PAUL
          Meanwhile Bryan Adams releases
          album seventeen.
          PAUL and CLIVE share a laugh.

                         CLIVE
          So you've been here for 60 years?

                         PAUL
          I know, right? Time flies when
          you're confined to a U.S. military
          installation.

                         CLIVE
          Why did you come to earth?

                         PAUL
          I'm the vanguard of a highly
          aggressive invading force.

                         CLIVE
          What?!

                         PAUL
          I'm fucking with you, man. I was on
          a science mission actually.
          Meteorological reconnaissance. We
          were surveying atmospheric
          conditions on CO2 spiking, M-Class
          planets. My specialist subject is
          tornadoes right? So I'm buzzing
          around the mid-west, looking for
          twisters and all of a sudden my
          A.G.G. goes offline and I crash in
          the middle of some field.

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          53.

                         PAUL (CONT'D)
          Next thing I know, this little girl
          is pulling me out of the wreck and
          then a bunch of army guys come
          along and cart me off to Area 52.

                         CLIVE

          51.

                         PAUL
          No, it's 52. Area 51 is just full
          of old Pan Am jets and mini disc
          players and shit. It's another
          "clever subterfuge."�
          GRAHAM joins them with the food.

                         PAUL
          Just telling him about Area 52.

                         GRAHAM
          Ha ha yeah.

                         PAUL
          So, with my cover blown and the
          natives cautious but friendly, I
          figured we might as well indulge in
          a little file sharing.

                         CLIVE
          Mulder was right!

                         PAUL
          Mulder was my idea.
          They chuckle. CLIVE gives PAUL the bottle of gas.

                         CLIVE
          Would you like a go?
          PAUL takes the bottle and squirts it on the fire, making the
          Hendrix face. They laugh loudly.

          EXT. BEHE RESIDENCE - NIGHT

          RUTH watches through her window. GRAHAM, CLIVE and PAUL are
          on the other side of the RV. Nevertheless, RUTH can see three
          pairs of dancing legs underneath the vehicle, silhouetted
          against the campfire. She frowns.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)

          RUTH!
          RUTH backs away into the shadows.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          54.

          INT. RV - MORNING

          It is very early in the morning. PAUL is asleep on the sofa.
          There is a knock at the door. PAUL vanishes. GRAHAM and CLIVE
          emerge from the bedroom in dressing gowns.

                         CLIVE
          Who is it?

          RUTH (O.S.)
          It's Ruth.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look at each other nervously. CLIVE opens
          the door, as GRAHAM straightens his hair.

                         RUTH
          Good morning.

                         CLIVE
          Good morning.

                         RUTH
          May I come in?

                         GRAHAM
          Yes.
          CLIVE give GRAHAM a "~what the hell are you thinking?' Look as
          RUTH comes aboard. RUTH surveys the interior of the RV.

                         RUTH
          Was everything to your liking?

                         CLIVE
          Yes, thank you.

                         RUTH
          Where's the other one?

                         CLIVE
          The other one?

                         RUTH
          It's okay, we don't charge by the
          person. That was three pairs of
          legs I saw last night cavorting
          round the camp fire, right?

                         CLIVE
          Oh the other one. Um...

                         PAUL
          I'm in the can. I ate a closed
          mollusc.
          PAUL blows a massive raspberry to prove his point. GRAHAM and
          CLIVE look embarrassed. GRAHAM changes the subject.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          55.

                         GRAHAM
          I like your shirt.
          The shirt has a picture of Jesus shooting Charles Darwin in
          the head. Underneath it reads, "Evolve this!"�

                         RUTH
          Thanks. I got it at my church.

                         GRAHAM
          Why would Jesus want to shoot
          Charles Darwin?

                         RUTH

                         (BRIGHTLY)
          Because of his theories. Are you
          men of God?

                         GRAHAM
          Would you like a coffee?

                         CLIVE
          I suppose we're men of science.

                         GRAHAM

                         CLIVE-
          RUTH narrow her eye.

                         CLIVE
          If we believe in anything it would
          be macro evolution. Cause and
          effect. The establishment of a
          biological order from the maelstrom
          of physical and chemical chaos.
          RUTH looks scandalized.

                         GRAHAM
          Or it could be God. You just don't
          know do you?

                         RUTH
          God created the earth in six days
          and on the seventh he rested.
          PAUL emits another huge raspberry from the toilet.

                         CLIVE
          Did you know that the universe has
          been dated as being 13.5 billion
          years old an that the release of
          neutral hydrogen at the moment of
          the big bang has enabled scientists
          to do this with categorical
          accuracy?

                         GRAHAM
          Yes.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          56.

                         CLIVE
          Not you!

                         RUTH
          The world is 4000 years old.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          Oh come on!

                         GRAHAM

                         PAUL-

          PAUL (O.S.)
          Horseshit!
          RUTH approaches the toilet door, taking up her fight with the
          unseen third passenger. She bangs on the door. GRAHAM and
          CLIVE are bewildered by this sudden turn of events.

                         RUTH
          Explain to me how something as
          complicated as the human eye simply
          comes into being.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          Oh, don't give me that old
          irreducible complexity crap-

                         RUTH
          They eye is comprised of three
          interacting parts. Remove any one
          of them and it ceases to exist. It
          has the precision and delicacy of a
          pocket watch and, when the good
          Lord permits, it works in perfect
          harmony with its environment.
          Something as functionally perfect
          as that doesn't just occur without
          the intervention of a guiding hand.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          But it didn't just occur did it? It
          is the culmination of millions of
          years of development across
          countless species.

                         RUTH
          What are you talking about?

          PAUL (O.S.)
          Evolution baby.
          RUTH screams and bangs the door.

                         RUTH
          It'd design!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          57.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          If He designed it, why didn't He
          just make it one part and take the
          whole weekend off?

                         RUTH
          Nothing you can so or do can shake
          my belief, or faith in the sure and
          certain knowledge that God made
          Heaven and earth and created us all
          in His own image.

                         PAUL
          Oh yeah?
          (stepping out of the toilet)
          Well then how do you explain me?
          RUTH's mouth hangs agape in a soundless scream, her eye rolls
          up, her hair turns white. She collapses.

                         PAUL
          And that's Jenga.

                         CLIVE
          What did you do that for?

                         PAUL
          I didn't do anything, she fainted.

                         CLIVE
          She saw you!

                         PAUL
          Oh come on. Who's gonna believe
          anything she says?

                         CLIVE
          The authorities will be on the look
          out for exactly this sort of thing.

                         PAUL
          What, a delusional, one-eyed God
          botherer?

                         CLIVE
          Paul, right now they're going to
          follow any lead they can get.

                         PAUL
          I didn't think of that.

                         GRAHAM
          We could take her with us.

                         PAUL/CLIVE
          What?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          58.

                         GRAHAM
          We're only going to be a couple of
          days. We could let her go once
          Paul's gone home. I'm sure she'll
          be fine once she gets to know us.
          PAUL and CLIVE consider this.

                         CLIVE
          How am I going to get my passport
          back?
          PAUL vanishes.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          Leave it to me.

          INT. BEHE RESIDENCE - DAY

          The door opens, seemingly by itself. PAUL materializes in the
          kitchenette and starts looking around for CLIVE's passport.
          He roots around noisily in drawers and cupboards, until he
          spies his quarry on the work-top. He checks the passport and
          finds CLIVE's absurd picture. He laughs.

                         PAUL
          Hallelujah.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          Ruth, what in the Lord's name-
          MOSES and PAUL come face to face. They regard each other for
          a second.

                         PAUL
          Boo?

          EXT. RV PARK - DAY

          PAUL burst out of the BEHE RESIDENCE, pursued by MOSES who is
          loading a shotgun.

                         PAUL

          GO! GO! GO!
          The RV start to move forward. The door swings open and GRAHAM
          appears, beckoning to PAUL. PAUL reaches the door, just as
          MOSES levels the gun at his target. PAUL leaps into GRAHAM's
          arms, disappearing inside the RV, as MOSES fires off a
          booming shot. The BEHE mailbox explodes into pieces, as the
          RV careens off out of the trailer park.

          INT. RV - DAY

          Blackness. RUTH wakes up. Panic in her eyes. CLIVE drives,
          GRAHAM sits on the sofa, biting his nails.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          59.

                         GRAHAM
          Hi.

                         RUTH
          Where am I?
          PAUL leans round from the Chewie seat and smile.

                         PAUL
          Hey, look who's up.

                         RUTH

          DEMON!

                         GRAHAM
          Would you like a cup of tea?
          RUTH starts to pray furiously.

                         GRAHAM
          I'm so sorry it had to be this way
          Ruth. We're definitely not going to
          hurt you and we'll let you go as
          son as we can. We were just a
          little concerned that you might
          call the police.

                         RUTH
          You have been deceived. Deceived by
          an agent of Satan himself.

          PAUL (O.S.)
          You know I'm sitting right here?

                         GRAHAM
          He's not a demon Ruth, he's from
          another world and we're helping him
          get home. He's not evil. He's just
          very rude.

                         RUTH
          How can he be from another world?
          There is only one world. Our world,
          created by God the Father.
          PAUL sits down next to GRAHAM. RUTH whimpers.

                         PAUL
          Look, if it makes you feel any
          better, my existence only disproves
          the notion of the Abrahamic, Judeo-
          Christian God, as well as all
          single earth theologies. Science
          still hasn't categorically rule out
          the notion of divinity, even though
          evolutionary biology suggest the
          non-existence of a creator by
          probability alone.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          60.

                         RUTH
          How could that possibly make me
          feel any better?

                         PAUL
          Jesus Christ, I was just trying to
          be nice!

                         GRAHAM
          I think what Paul's trying to say
          is, just because there are other
          inhabited planets, it's not the end
          of the world.

                         RUTH
          This isn't happening! You're a
          hallucination. You're not real.
          You're a test. A test from God.

                         PAUL
          You can't win can you?
          RUTH starts to pray furiously, speaking in tongues, making an
          awful noise.

                         CLIVE
          I can't drive like this. We'll have
          to drop her off and take our
          chances.

                         GRAHAM
          No!

                         PAUL
          Oh, for God's sake.
          PAUL walks over to RUTH and places his and across her
          forehead. He appear to go into a trance. RUTH's eyes roll up
          into her head. We see a lightening montage of images. The
          cosmos, the surface of a planet, others like PAUL, PAUL's
          ship crashing into the ground. The images speed up as PAUL
          telepathically send his knowledge into RUTH's mind. They
          collapse in a heap on the floor. PAUL sparks up a cigarette.

                         GRAHAM
          What did you do to her?!

                         PAUL
          I broadened her horizons.

                         GRAHAM
          Can you broaden mine?

                         PAUL
          No, it's tiring.
          GRAHAM goes over to where PAUL is lying.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          61.

                         GRAHAM
          Oh please.

                         PAUL
          Come here then.
          PAUL puts his hand on GRAHAM's head. GRAHAM's eyes go all
          fluttery. We don't see the images this time. GRAHAM falls.

                         CLIVE
          Oh great! Everyone knows the
          secrets of the universe apart from
          me. He always knew what was going
          on in Buffy before me because his
          mum had cable.

                         PAUL
          Can't I just tell you?

                         CLIVE
          No spoilers!
          PAUL sighs, then with enormous effort, reaches up and zaps
          CLIVE who falls to the floor. Everyone lays inert.

                         GRAHAM

                         (WEAKLY)
          Maybe I should make that tea?

          EXT. RV PARK - DAY

          THREE BLACK SEDANS are parked in the BEHE RV park.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          I didn't call the government. I
          called the po-lice.

          INT. BEHE RESIDENCE - DAY


                         ZOIL
          Given your description of the
          intruder, the police felt your call
          was perhaps better directed to us.

                         MOSES BEHE
          And who are you?

                         ZOIL
          Secret Service, sir.

                         MOSES BEHE
          I knew it. You know that devil took
          my Ruth.

                         ZOIL
          And Ruth's your daughter?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          62.

                         MOSES BEHE
          That's right. Her Mama died when
          she was born. I good as brought her
          up by myself. Wasn't easy either.
          Two mouths to feed and this place
          to run.

                         ZOIL
          I understand. Do you have a
          photography of Ruth, Mr. Behe?
          MOSES retrieves an old cigar box and produces a tattered
          photograph of Ruth. She appears younger, with both eyes
          intact and with dark hair.

                         ZOIL
          She's pretty.
          MOSES snorts.

                         ZOIL
          Do you have a phone Mr. Behe? In
          case she tries to contact you.

                         MOSES BEHE
          I do...
          ZOIL nods at HAGGARD who immediately starts dialling on his
          satellite phone, moving into a different room.

                         MOSES BEHE
          ...and she'll call me if she can.
          Ruth's never really been outta
          Carbon County.

                         ZOIL
          You say they went East?

                         MOSES BEHE
          Uh-huh. They'll have to get off the
          191 after Flaming Gorge if they
          ain't using the interstate, there's
          been a rig spill just South of
          Dutch John.

                         ZOIL
          So?

                         MOSES BEHE
          So that means they'll be on the 44.
          Only way to go.
          ZOIL looks at O'REILLY.

                         ZOIL
          Let's go. Haggard!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          63.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Tell me you're gonna kill that
          thing, Mr. Zoil. Kill it for what
          it is.

                         ZOIL
          We'll do our best, Mr. Behe.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Watch yourself now. I seen its
          eyes. It's evil.
          ZOIL, HAGGARD and O'REILLY leave. MOSES watches them.

                         MOSES BEHE
          God's speed, Mr. Zoil.

          EXT. RV PARK - DAY

          ZOIL's radio crackles to life.

          HAGGARD (O.S.)
          Man, that way was one fat freak!

          O'REILLY (O.S.)
          If I was that girl, I think I'd
          rather take my chances with the
          alien.
          HAGGARD and O'REILLY hoot with laughter.

                         ZOIL
          Can it, you two! How many times do
          I have to tell you?

          INT. BEHE RESIDENCE - DAY

          MOSES is sat at his kitchen table listening to his police
          scanner. HAGGARD and O'REILLY's laughter rattles loudly over
          the radio.

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          We do not refer to the target as
          "~The Alien'.
          MOSES's expression is mixture of fury and disbelief. He
          glances at something nearby. Pull focus to the shotgun, lying
          in the foreground on the kitchen table.
          We hear an engine splutter into life, revving furiously.

          EXT. BEHE RESIDENCE - DAY

          MOSES in his pick up truck, screams off in pursuit.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          64.

          INT. RV - DAY

          CLOSE on PAUL. He is staring at something in wonder.

                         PAUL
          Wow.
          Pull out to reveal him sitting next to GRAHAM and CLIVE,
          looking out through the RV's windshield.
          We see their POV. A breathtaking panorama of natural beauty.
          They are parked up at the summit of a mountain road, looking
          out across the vista.

                         PAUL
          There it is, boys. Wyoming.

                         CLIVE
          Is that where we're going?

                         PAUL
          Maybe. I gotta tell ya. It's at
          times like these you winder if the
          intelligent design crowd aren't
          onto something. I mean look at it.
          Hey Ruth, get up here.
          They look round, the door of the RV is open, RUTH is gone.

                         PAUL
          Ruth!?

                         CLIVE
          Someone should go after her.
          Graham?
          CLIVE looks round to see GRAHAM gone.

                         CLIVE
          Graham!?

          EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

          RUTH is storming up the road.

                         GRAHAM
          Ruth!

                         RUTH
          Leave me alone!

                         GRAHAM
          Ruth, please stop, I've got shin
          splints.
          RUTH stops. GRAHAM catches up to her.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          65.

                         GRAHAM
          Are you alright?

                         RUTH
          He can't be from space. It's not
          possible.

                         GRAHAM
          Ruth, you saw for yourself. It's
          not just possible, it's probably.
          There's probably millions of
          intelligent civilizations.

                         RUTH
          So, where is everybody?

                         GRAHAM
          Well, one of them is right there.
          RUTH and GRAHAM look back at the RV. PAUL is stood on the
          dashboard with his bare buttocks pressed against the window.
          CLIVE is trying not to laugh.

                         RUTH
          Everything I've ever been told is a
          lie. My purpose. My truth. All
          false. DO you know how that feels?
          To suddenly have nothing?

                         GRAHAM
          Just because your truth wasn't the
          truth, it doesn't mean there is no
          truth, Ruth.

                         RUTH
          Huh?

                         GRAHAM
          I understand you're probably
          feeling very confused right now.
          Religious belief systems are
          devised to give us context and
          security. To stop us feeling lonely
          and unimportant.

                         RUTH
          I do feel lonely and unimportant!
          How can this all be an accident? It
          doesn't make sense. Did you know
          the reason we have solar eclipses
          is because the sun is exactly 400
          times bigger than the moon and the
          moon is exactly 400 times closer to
          the earth?
          GRAHAM considers saying "~yes' but decides against it.

                         RUTH
          How can that be an accident.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          66.

                         GRAHAM
          It isn't, it's a coincidence. Or it
          probably is. That's the beauty of
          the universe.

                         RUTH
          But what's the point? If there's
          nothing afterwards, what's the
          point in living?

                         GRAHAM
          This is the point, Ruth. Right now.
          This conversation. That tree, your
          next cheeseburger. Life is a
          miracle. People spend so much time
          focusing on rescuing the princess,
          they forget how much fun it is to
          fight the dragon.

                         RUTH
          Huh?

                         GRAHAM
          Carl Sagan said "~A religion, old or
          new, that stressed the magnificence
          of the universe as revealed by
          modern science might be able to
          draw forth reserves of reverence
          and awe hardly tapped by the
          conventional faiths.'

                         RUTH
          Huh?

                         GRAHAM
          It's okay not to know, Ruth. It's
          wonderful because it means we still
          have things to learn. We still have
          life to live.

                         RUTH
          I'm frightened.

                         GRAHAM
          So am I, but it passes, sort of.
          Ruth, we're on an amazing adventure
          and I think you should come with
          us. I know you feel confused and
          lost but if you get back on board
          that RV, you might just find the
          very thing you're looking for.

                         RUTH
          I... I'm not sure.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          67.

                         GRAHAM
          I'm sure Ruth. I'm sure because I
          can honestly say, I have never
          talked to a woman for this long
          without blushing.

                         RUTH
          That's so sweet.
          GRAHAM blushes, deep, dark, red.

          INT. RV - DAY

          GRAHAM and RUTH get back onto the RV. GRAHAM looks pleased
          with himself.

                         GRAHAM
          She's going to be fine. I think
          your hair looks good by the way.
          You look like Storm.

                         RUTH
          Who's Storm?

                         PAUL
          From X-Men.

                         GRAHAM
          Exactly.
          RUTH goes to the bathroom.

          RUTH (O.S.)

          AAARRRRGGGHHHHH! MY FREAKIN' HAIR!

          EXT/INT. RV - DAY

          The RV drives across the rugged countryside. GRAHAM, CLIVE,
          RUTH and PAUL appear in various combinations.
          GRAHAM drives with PAUL in the Chewie seat, CLIVE sleeps on
          the sofa, RUTH can be seen sitting on the bed at the back.
          CLIVE drives with GRAHAM in the Chewie seat. PAUL just
          behind, RUTH on the sofa. She is staring at PAUL. PAUL turns
          round, she looks away.
          PAUL drives, CLIVE sits in the Chewie seat, GRAHAM and RUTH
          just behind. The RV weaves from side to side.

                         CLIVE
          Small corrections! Small
          corrections!
          RUTH drives. Everyone else is asleep.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          68.

          EXT/INT. ZOIL'S CAR/HAGGARD'S CAR/O'REILLY'S CAR - DAY

          We see ZOIL's convoy. ZOIL drives, his eyes intent on the
          road, searching. He reaches down out of shot, then brings a
          taco to hi mouth and takes a bit. A truck passes. We see
          HAGGARD in his car, talking animatedly on his cell phone. The
          truck passes. We see O'REILLY in his car, he is asleep at the
          wheel. The truck passes, horn blaring. O'REILLY wakes up
          suddenly, looking rattled.

          EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - DAY

          The RV is parked up. It is a little speck on an enormous
          landscape. Next to the highway is a sign which reads "~YOU ARE
          NOW LEAVING UTAH.' Underneath this a separate sign reads

          "~LEAVING PACIFIC TIME ZONE ENTERING MOUNTAIN TIME ZONE.' PAUL
          leaps back and forth over the line.

                         PAUL
          11 o'clock, 12 o'clock, 11 o'clock,
          12 o'clock, 11 o'clock. Come on!
          It's fun.
          We see CLIVE, GRAHAM and RUTH standing in the middle of the
          road watching PAUL.

                         RUTH
          This is the furthest I've ever
          been.

          EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

          ZOIL's convoy pulls into an Arby's. The three AGENTS leap out
          of their cars and run in. After a short pause MOSES BEHE's
          pick up truck passes through shout; "~Onward Christian
          Soldiers' blares from the radio.

          INT. RV - NIGHT

          GRAHAM drives, CLIVE sits in the Chewie seat. PAUL hangs
          back. RUTH emerges from the bedroom. She has swapped her
          Darwin T-shirt for one of GRAHAM's. It's an X-files T-shirt
          emblazoned with a UFO and the legend, I WANT TO BELIEVE.

                         RUTH
          You don't mind, do you, Graham?

                         GRAHAM
          It looks nice.

                         PAUL
          Hey, we should stop for something
          to eat. Are you hungry, Ruth?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          69.

                         RUTH
          What?

                         CLIVE
          I'm hungry.

                         PAUL
          What's new, fatty?

                         CLIVE
          Hey, it's not fat, it's power. I
          happen to be very strong.
          PAUL summons a phlegm ball with a grotesque snort and spits
          it onto the floor of the RV.

                         PAUL
          Pick that up then.

                         CLIVE
          So childish.

                         RUTH
          Maybe I should call Papa.

          PAUL/GRAHAM/CLIVE
          What?!

                         RUTH
          Look, I've been missing for a whole
          day. If he's called the police,
          they'll be looking for us and if
          they find us, this "~amazing
          adventure' is going to come to an
          end real quick. I just need to tell
          him I'm fine and that I'll be back
          soon, okay?
          PAUL offers up a high five to RUTH.

                         PAUL
          Right up top!
          RUTH yelps, terrified that PAUL is going to zap her again.

                         PAUL
          Too soon?
          CLIVE reaches down and picks up PAUL's phlegm ball.

                         CLIVE
          I did it!

          EXT. BAR. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

          GRAHAM, CLIVE and RUTH step out of the RV.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          70.

                         CLIVE
          Okay, in and out, yes? Don't talk
          to anyone unless you have to and
          try to look inconspicuous.
          Angle on the most conspicuous threesome in America.

          HOOOOOOOONNNK.

                         CLIVE
          I wish he'd stop doing that!
          They enter the bar. Parked nearby, is a black Lincoln
          Escalade, shiny, mean, dented.

          INT. BAR - NIGHT

          The bar is very busy. Scantily clad waitresses serve a
          variety of customers. People play pool, other people dance to
          a small band. RUTH spies a pay phone at the back.

                         RUTH
          I won't be long.

                         CLIVE
          We'll order food and wait for you
          at the bar.

                         RUTH
          Okay.

                         CLIVE
          Be careful.
          RUTH walks through to the back, past the toilets. As she
          passes, MOSES BEHE steps out of the Men's, they miss each
          other by moments. He walks up to the bar, next to GRAHAM and
          CLIVE who are looking at a menu. MOSES orders.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Tap water.

          INT. BAR. PAY PHONE - MOMENTS LATER

          RUTH dials. She listens nervously. Click.

          OPERATOR (O.S.)
          Ruth Behe?

                         RUTH
          Yes?

          OPERATOR (O.S.)
          Please hold, your call is being
          diverted.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          71.

                         RUTH
          Wait, I...

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          Ruth Behe?

                         RUTH
          Yes?

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          Agent Zoil, Secret Service. Listen
          very carefully. You're in great
          danger.

                         RUTH
          How did you...?

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          We know who you're travelling with
          Ruth. I need you and your friend to
          turn yourselves in.

                         RUTH
          What if we don't want to turn
          ourselves in?

          INT. HIGHWAY. ROADSIDE - NIGHT

          ZOIL talks on a satellite phone. HAGGARD works on a laptop
          nearby. O'REILLY listens in.

                         ZOIL
          Where are you? Where are you
          headed?

          RUTH (O.S.)
          I don't know.

                         ZOIL
          Look, I know you think you're doing
          the right thing but I promise you,
          I'm only thinking about you. And
          Paul. You care about Paul, don't
          you?

          RUTH (O.S.)
          I don't know how I feel about him.
          He's weird and also, rude.

                         ZOIL
          Yes he is.

          RUTH (O.S.)
          I asked him why he wore shorts and
          he said if he didn't I'd see his
          big spaceman balls.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          72.

          INT. BAR. PAY PHONE - NIGHT

          Loud giggles, followed by angry shushing from ZOIL.

                         RUTH
          Who's there with you?

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          Ruth, please listen to me. Your
          father is worried about you. We
          want to get you home. I need you to
          tell me where you are.

                         RUTH
          He showed me things.

                         ZOIL
          You're not still talking about his
          balls, are you?

                         RUTH
          I... i just want to know what's
          real. I'm confused. I... I...
          RUTH struggles. Her expression shows great conflict.

          HAGGARD (O.S.)

          WE GOT HER!

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          Damnit, Haggard!
          RUTH panics and slams down the phone. She realizes what she
          may have done and rushes back toward the bar, slamming into
          two men. The MEATHEADS, drunk, look down at her, amused.

                         JAKE
          Hey, slow down there cyclops.

                         RUTH
          I need to get to my friends.

                         GUS
          Why the hurry? You know I got a
          friend with one eye who'd love to
          meet you.

                         RUTH
          I happen to have two eyes actually.
          I just have a severe stigmatism.

                         JAKE
          You should get that fixed up.
          Reckon you'd be kinda pretty in the
          right light.

                         GUS
          Yeah, the dark.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          73.

                         RUTH
          Papa said the Lord would fix it.

                         GUS
          The Lord ain't gonna fix nothing
          sweetheart.

                         RUTH
          No shit.
          RUTH plants her knee firmly into the groin of GUS. He doubles
          up knocking his friend over. RUTH bolts.

          INT. BAR - MOMENTS LATER

          GRAHAM and CLIVE are clutching brown paper bags full of food,
          RUTH returns from the Phone.

                         GRAHAM
          How's your dad?

                         RUTH
          We need to leave now.

                         CLIVE
          We're still waiting on a wet fries.
          The two MEATHEADS emerge from the pay phone. Angry.

                         JAKE
          Holy shit! It's the space faggots
          that dinged the fuck-mobile!

                         CLIVE
          Look, I'm terribly sorry. Perhaps
          we can exchange insurance details?

                         JAKE
          I'm sorry I don't speak "~nerd'.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look terribly offended.

                         GUS
          These the "~friends' you told us
          about, baby?

                         RUTH
          Yes, they are.

                         JAKE
          Well whaddya know? Small world.

                         RUTH
          We were just leaving.

                         GUS
          I don't think so.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          74.
          JAKE grabs RUTH. GRAHAM pushes him hard in the chest.

                         GRAHAM
          Leave her alone!

                         JAKE
          What did you say?

                         CLIVE
          (timid but resolute)
          He said, leave her alone.
          At this, JAKE pulls his fist back to hit CLIVE, knocking a
          tray of drinks all over a table full of men. They immediately
          spring up and lunge after the MEATHEADS who turn their
          attention to the attack. The fight spreads like fire. GRAHAM
          grabs RUTH's hand and follows CLIVE as he scrambles through
          the fracas. As they reach the door RUTH is yanked back and
          comes face to face with her father.

                         MOSES BEHE

          RUTH?!

                         RUTH

          PAPA?!

                         CLIVE
          Graham?

                         MOSES BEHE
          I'm taking you home.

                         RUTH
          I... I can't.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Don't talk back to me, girl!

                         RUTH

                         PAPA I-
          A chair smashes across MOSES's head, knocking him out. Behind
          him, bloodied and angry are the two MEATHEADS.

          EXT. BAR. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

          CLIVE, GRAHAM and RUTH explode out of the bar and run toward
          the RV. The MEATHEADS crash out after them.

                         RUTH
          What about Papa?!

                         JAKE
          Hey, we ain't finished with you.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          75.

                         CLIVE
          Graham, take Ruth into the RV and
          lock the door. I don't want either
          of you to see this.
          CLIVE turns back to the MEATHEADS. BANG! CLIVE is struck in
          the face, he falls, nose bleeding.
          They turn to RUTH and GRAHAM, who back up against the RV. The
          MEATHEADS approach ominously. The RV door bursts open. PAUL
          stands silhouetted against the interior lights.

                         PAUL
          Yo fucknuts!
          The MEATHEADS freeze. PAUL vanishes, then reappears a few
          feet from them, their eyes bulge.

                         PAUL
          So, who wants to get probed first?
          The MEATHEADS swoon and simultaneously hit the deck.

                         GRAHAM
          Ha! Only one of us fainted!

                         PAUL
          Tell me you got the food?
          CLIVE gets up and opens his coat revealing bags of food.
          Sirens wail in distance. RUTH turns white.

                         RUTH
          It's them.

                         GRAHAM
          Who?

                         RUTH
          It wasn't my fault. They answered
          the phone. He knew all about us.

                         CLIVE
          Who? Who are you talking about?

                         PAUL
          Get in the RV!
          SMASH CUT. The RV roars to life, backing up at speed into the
          MEATHEAD's vehicle. MOSES BEHE bursts out of the bar, just as
          the RV passes. RUTH sees him out of the window. MOSES locks
          eye with his daughter. He runs to his pick up but realises he
          doesn't have his keys. The RV tears off into the night,
          leaving MOSES BEHE bellowing with anger and the Lincoln
          Escalade, shiny, mean, fucked.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          76.

          INT. RV - NIGHT

          The RV pulls off the road into a secluded lay-by. The gang
          sit in silence for a while.

                         GRAHAM
          Was that your dad, Ruth?
          RUTH nods.

                         CLIVE
          He was so angry.

                         RUTH
          He's always angry.
          GRAHAM, CLIVE and PAUL all exchange looks.

                         GRAHAM
          Are you alright, Ruth?
          RUTH nods, still distant.

                         PAUL
          I'm feeling pretty amped up. Anyone
          wanna take a walk?

                         CLIVE
          I'm game.

                         GRAHAM
          You want to come for a walk, Ruth?

                         RUTH
          Thanks, but I think I'm going to
          turn in. It's been a long day what
          with meeting you guys, being
          abducted by and alien and having my
          whole belief system called into
          question.

                         PAUL
          Sorry about that.

                         GRAHAM
          It was amazing though, wasn't it?
          Remember when Paul said "~Yo
          fucknuts'? That was brilliant.

                         PAUL
          You gotta talk the talk, right?

                         CLIVE
          What about when I got smacked in
          the nose?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          77.

                         PAUL
          Yeah yeah Snorlax, you're a real
          hero. Come on. Let's skedaddle. You
          want anything Ruth?

                         RUTH
          No, you go, I'll be fine. Here
          Clive.
          RUTH hands CLIVE her handkerchief. It is embroidered with the
          words "~JESUS SAVES'.

                         CLIVE
          Thank you.
          He mops his nose as they leave the RV. GRAHAM lingers.

                         GRAHAM
          You can sleep in my bunk if you'd
          like.
          She smiles at him. He goes to leave but turns back.

                         GRAHAM
          I'd use a pen to push the tissues
          off the bed. I've had a cold.

          EXT. DESERTED TOWN - NIGHT

          GRAHAM and PAUL stand outside a liquor store on the main drag
          of a quiet town. Next door is a Western themed clothing
          store. PAUL looks in the window.

                         PAUL
          Hey Graham. Check this out. What
          d'ya think?
          PAUL indicates to a small cowboy outfit, big enough for a
          child, displayed in the window.

                         PAUL
          I'd look pretty hot, right?

                         GRAHAM
          Space cowboy.

                         PAUL
          Steve Miller Band. I love that
          song. Speaking of midnight tokers,
          I got a littler herbal refreshment
          in my pants. Do you guys partake?

                         GRAHAM
          No.

                         PAUL
          Shame. I get it from the military.
          This is the shit that killed Dylan.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          78.

                         GRAHAM
          Bob Dylan's still alive.

                         PAUL
          Is he?
          CLIVE comes out of the liquor store clutching bags of beer.

                         CLIVE
          Let's party!

          EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

          GRAHAM, CLIVE and PAUL have made a camp fire in a woodland
          clearing on the other side of town. They sit round drinking
          beers and chatting. PAUL rolls a joint.

                         GRAHAM
          So why "~Paul'? It's not very, you
          know, alien.

                         CLIVE
          Is it spelt like, P-'-a-w-l-l or
          something?

                         PAUL
          No.

                         GRAHAM
          P-o-o-u-r-l?

                         PAUL
          No, it's Paul. Like Paul Newman or
          the little guy from Simon and
          Garfunkel.

                         CLIVE
          Paul Simon.

                         PAUL
          Paul Simon. Paul's not my real
          name. It's a name I got given.

                         GRAHAM
          What's your real name?

                         PAUL
          You won't be able to pronounce it.

                         CLIVE
          I can speak Klingon.

                         PAUL
          What a geek.

                         CLIVE
          Hey!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          79.

                         GRAHAM
          Come on, what's your real name.
          PAUL opens his mouth and screeches.

                         PAUL
          Roooooootttchaaaaaaaaaaa.

                         CLIVE
          Roooooootttttttccchhaaaa.

                         PAUL
          That's pretty good.

                         GRAHAM
          Rootchaa? That sounds like Roger.

                         PAUL
          Fuck you!

                         CLIVE
          Calm down, Rog.
          More laughter. Even PAUL. He lights his joint.

                         GRAHAM
          You look like a poster on a
          student's wall.

                         PAUL
          That was my gag! "~Take me to your
          dealer' right? Yeah, that was mine.
          Never saw a dime.

                         GRAHAM
          You never answered my question. Why
          Paul? Who called you Paul?

                         PAUL
          The little girl who found me when I
          crashed. It was terrible actually.
          I killed her dog. I didn't mean to!
          My ship sort of landed on it. When
          the military arrived I was
          delirious; I kept saying "Paul?
          Paul?"� It was the only English I
          knew, because I'd heard the little
          girl saying it over and over.
          Spooks thought it was my name.

                         CLIVE
          She called her dog Paul?

                         PAUL
          Least it wasn't Mr. Muggles.

                         GRAHAM
          What happened to the little girl?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          80.

                         PAUL
          Who knows? Never saw her again.
          Think about her everyday though.
          PAUL offers the joint round. CLIVE and GRAHAM decline. PAUL
          takes a deep drag. During the following exchange, GRAHAM,
          CLIVE and PAUL start to move simultaneously as though
          governed by some kind of psychic link.

                         CLIVE
          It's strange, isn't it? Ordinarily
          in this situation Graham and I
          would be looking up at the stars,
          wondering about life on other
          planets but we know now, don't we?
          It's a bit of an anti-climax.

                         PAUL
          Thanks a bunch, Hurley.

                         CLIVE
          I don't mean that in a bad way.
          They all scratch their noses.

                         GRAHAM
          Paul, can I ask you something?

                         PAUL
          Shoot.

                         GRAHAM
          Why are you in such a hurry to
          leave?

                         PAUL
          I've outlived my usefulness.

                         CLIVE
          How so?

                         PAUL
          There's only so much knowledge I
          can share about the universe and
          quantum theory and how to make a
          really nice meatball sandwich. The
          only thing I have to offer them now
          are my abilities.

                         GRAHAM
          So?

                         PAUL
          So the only way they're going to
          get hold of them is by obtaining
          some of somatic stem cells.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          81.

                         GRAHAM
          So what, do they take a swab from
          your cheek?

                         PAUL
          Negative.

                         CLIVE
          Stool?

                         PAUL
          Sadly, not that simple.

                         GRAHAM
          Blood?! Oh my god, I hate needles.

                         PAUL
          Believe me, a needle would be a
          picnic compared to what they had in
          store for me.

                         CLIVE
          I don't follow.

                         PAUL
          Stem cells are multipotent.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE look blank.

                         PAUL
          Lineage defined?
          GRAHAM and CLIVE still look blank.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          The camouflage response, the memory
          transfer, the revivification, they
          all originate in my cerebellum. In
          order to cultivate them in a
          laboratory they would have to...

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          Cut your brain out.

                         PAUL
          Bingo! Fortunately, someone was
          kind enough to give me the heads
          up, if you'll pardon the pun. So,
          when they were transferring me to
          the medical facility and I noticed
          the bumper sticker on your RV, I
          figured you might be sympathetic
          types. I zapped the spooks, grabbed
          the wheel and took my chance.

                         CLIVE
          I thought the crash was our fault.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          82.

                         PAUL
          Well it was, kinda.

                         GRAHAM
          So, you're saying if they catch
          you...
          PAUL draws his thumb across his neck. GRAHAM and CLIVE look
          at PAUL in horror. All three scratch their heads.

                         PAUL
          So tell me, are you guys virgins or
          what?

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          No.
          They all cough.

                         PAUL
          Alright then, Clive, when was the
          last time you got laid.

                         CLIVE
          Comic-Con 2005. Ewok chick.

                         PAUL
          Three years ago you had sex with a
          midget?

                         CLIVE
          She was an Ewok!
          Sniff.

                         PAUL
          There are only two types of person
          small enough to fit inside an Ewok
          costume.

                         CLIVE
          She was a midget.

                         PAUL
          I can't believe you thought boning
          a space bear sounded less
          embarrassing than a person of short
          stature.

                         CLIVE
          I know. I'm sorry.

                         PAUL
          Was it nice?

                         CLIVE

                         WONDERFUL

                         

                         

                         

                         

          83.

                         PAUL
          You sly dog!
          PAUL rolls onto his back, clapping. GRAHAM snorts into his
          beer, laughing. CLIVE joins in. Before long, the three
          friends are rolling around in hysterics, utterly out of
          control. After about thirty seconds of this, they pass out.

          EXT. WOODS - MORNING

          The sun has just risen. GRAHAM, CLIVE and PAUL lie round the
          smoldering camp fire sleeping soundly. PAUL is very white.
          His eyes open. He looks around.

                         PAUL
          Oh shit! Hey, wake up. Wake up. We
          fell asleep.

                         CLIVE
          How did that happen?

                         PAUL
          Sorry, I get this thing when I get
          high. It's called "~projective
          empathy'. You feel what I feel.

                         GRAHAM
          Like in E.T.?

                         PAUL
          Exactly.

                         CLIVE
          Oh, thank God. For a second there I
          thought I'd got drunk on Lite beer.
          The guys gather their stuff and walk to the edge of the wood.
          Looking through the tree line they realize that the quiet
          town of last night has become very busy indeed.

                         GRAHAM
          Oh dear!

                         PAUL
          I can't walk through there.

                         CLIVE
          How are we going to get back?
          Close in on GRAHAM having the best idea of his life.

          EXT. TOWN - DAY

          GRAHAM and CLIVE walk down the busy main street, between them
          is PAUL. He is dressed in the little cowboy suit from the
          shop window, his hat pulled down low over his face.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          84.

                         GRAHAM
          Maybe we should hold hands, so that
          we look like a family.

                         PAUL
          That's great! Two grown men who
          look like sex offenders holding
          hands with a child cowboy.

                         CLIVE
          You could be a midget.

                         PAUL
          You're obsessed with midgets!
          They continue on, trying to look as if nothing is strange.

                         GRAHAM
          Seem to be working, Clive. Clive?
          GRAHAM notices that CLIVE is no longer with them. He looks
          back to see CLIVE, gawping thought the window of a COMIC
          SHOP, at a sword resembling the one they saw at Comic-Con.
          The tag reads "~Genuine "~BLADE' Katana'. $299.99.

                         GRAHAM
          Clive, no.
          CLIVE walks into the shop. GRAHAM and PAUL follow quickly
          behind. As they enter the COMIC SHOP, MOSES BEHE emerges from
          the adjacent Drug Store. He takes a couple of pain killers
          and flexes his sore shoulders. He wanders up the road,
          scanning the passers by.

          INT. COMIC SHOP - DAY

          GRAHAM approaches CLIVE who is at the counter.

                         GRAHAM
          Now's not really the time, Sausage.

                         CLIVE
          I must have it.

                         GRAHAM
          It's very cheap. Are you sure you
          don't want to save up and get a
          proper on?

                         CLIVE
          Oh, come on, we've got time.

          INT/EXT. RV - DAY

          Close on RUTH's watch. She paces, worried.

          KNOCK KNOCK.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          85.

                         RUTH
          Where have you been? I was worried.
          She opens the door. AGENT ZOIL flashes his badge.

                         ZOIL
          Good morning, Ma'am. Sorry to
          trouble you. Agent Zoil, Secret
          Service. Your wagon here matches
          the description of a recreational
          vehicle we're currently looking
          for. May I ask, are you alone?
          RUTH pauses a second.

                         RUTH
          Yes, I'm alone.

                         ZOIL
          Do you mind taking a look at these
          pictures?
          ZOIL pulls out three pictures and hands them to RUTH. CCTV
          shots of GRAHAM and CLIVE at the gas station and MOSES's pic
          of RUTH, looking younger, with dark hair and no glasses.

                         ZOIL
          Do you recognise any of these
          people, Miss?
          She lingers on the picture of herself.

                         ZOIL
          Miss?

                         RUTH
          No, sorry I don't.

                         ZOIL
          Where are you coming from, Ma'am?

                         RUTH
          Christian ministry in Seattle. I've
          been driving for 5 days.

                         ZOIL
          Going far?

                         RUTH
          Austin.

                         ZOIL
          Great town.

                         RUTH
          Oh yes. It has an impressive bat
          population you know?

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          86.

                         RUTH (CONT'D)
          Folks gather by the rive in the
          evening to watch them fly out. Turn
          the sky black. Quite a sight.

                         ZOIL
          Is that so?

                         RUTH
          Uh-huh. Well, I really should be
          getting along.

                         ZOIL
          Of course. Thanks for your time,
          Miss...?
          Beat.

                         RUTH
          Darwin, Charlotte Darwin.
          ZOIL smiles and nods. He laves.

          INT. COMIC SHOP - MOMENTS LATER

          GRAHAM and CLIVE are at the counter. CLIVE is trying out the
          blade. PAUL, in cowboy guise browses the racks of comics. He
          picks one up. The cover features an alien that looks a lot
          like him. The comic is called "~Encounter Briefs: Tales From
          the Dreamland'. PAUL smiles and shakes his head. He suddenly
          realises he is being watched. Next to him is a child, (8)
          small enough to see under PAUL's hat. He is looking at the
          cover of the comic and back at PAUL.

                         PAUL
          How's it going?

                         CHILD
          Is that you?

                         PAUL
          No.

                         CHILD
          It looks like you.

                         PAUL
          Suppose it does. What's your name?

                         CHILD
          Keith Nash.

                         PAUL
          I'm Paul. Pleased to meet you.
          They shake hands.

                         PAUL
          You on your own here, Keith Nash?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          87.

                         KEITH NASH
          My Mom's shopping for some new
          jeans. She lets me wait in here.

                         PAUL
          Sounds like a good Mum.

                         KEITH NASH
          Yes and no. What're you doing here?

                         PAUL
          My friend's buying a sword. He's a
          grown man.

                         KEITH NASH
          What a nerd.
          PAUL laughs. So does KEITH NASH.

                         PAUL
          You an M&Ms man, Keith?
          PAUL produces his M&Ms. He offers one to KEITH.

                         KEITH NASH
          I am but I shouldn't.

                         PAUL
          Strangers with candy, right?

                         KEITH NASH
          Right.

                         PAUL
          Well, we've got a lot in common. We
          both like comics and M&Ms. Guess
          that makes us pals.

                         KEITH NASH
          Guess so.
          KEITH beams at PAUL and takes a few M&Ms. They turn their
          attention back to the racks of comics. PAUL pulls one out
          called "~G-Men'. On the cover it shows an agent, not unlike
          ZOIL, shooting an alien not unlike PAUL.

                         PAUL
          You read this one?

                         KEITH NASH
          No.

                         PAUL
          It's a good one. Take it. Go on.
          It's a gift.

                         KEITH NASH
          Thanks Paul.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          88.
          KEITH stuffs it down his trousers. PAUL laughs. We hear MRS.
          NASH calling from the street.

                         KEITH NASH
          I gotta go.

                         PAUL
          Catch you later, Keith Nash.
          GRAHAM and CLIVE approach. CLIVE has a long sword shaped box
          under his arm and a big grin on his face.

                         CLIVE
          Who was that?

                         PAUL
          Keith Nash. How much was that?

                         CLIVE
          $299.99. It's made of a low grade
          Turkish alloy.

                         PAUL
          What did you get, speccy?

                         GRAHAM
          X-Men action figure.

                         PAUL
          Jesus Cheeeerist.

          EXT. COMIC SHOP - DAY

          GRAHAM, CLIVE and PAUL exit the comic shop. PAUL waves to
          KEITH NASH, who now sits outside, on a bench, with his
          MOTHER. The boys walk up the street, seconds later, HAGGARD
          and O'REILLY step out of a store, eating bags of candy.

          MRS. NASH
          Don't lie, Keith.

                         KEITH NASH
          I'm not lying.

          MRS. NASH
          Oh, come on now, Keith. If you
          carry on like this, you'll have to
          come with me to Dress Barn.

                         KEITH NASH
          Honestly Mommy, he was an alien and
          his name was Paul!

          MRS. NASH
          Whoever hard of an alien called
          Paul?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          89.
          HAGGARD is suddenly kneeling at KEITH NASH's side. O'REILLY
          stands nearby.

                         HAGGARD
          What did you say, kid?

          MRS. NASH
          Excuse me. Who are you?

                         HAGGARD
          Agent Haggard Ma'am, Secret
          Service.

          MRS. NASH
          Secret Service?!

                         HAGGARD
          Kid?

                         KEITH NASH
          He was in the shop.

                         HAGGARD
          Is he still in there?
          KEITH shakes his head.

                         O'REILLY
          Did he say where he was going?
          KEITH looks at his comic. The ZOIL style agent, shooting the
          PAUL style alien. He looks back at HAGGARD and points him in
          the entirely wrong direction.

                         HAGGARD
          South. Toward New Mexico, huh?
          KEITH nods. HAGGARD stands, his mind racing. He looks
          meaningfully at O'REILLY not noticing the RV rumbling up the
          street behind him with CLIVE at the wheel.

                         O'REILLY
          We've got him man! We're going to
          get a fucking promotion.

                         HAGGARD
          You did good kid. Want a candy?

                         KEITH NASH
          No thanks.

                         HAGGARD
          Let's go.
          The two agents rush off.

                         O'REILLY
          What about Zoil?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          90.

                         HAGGARD
          Screw Zoil!

          EXT. WOODS - DAY

          MOSES BEHE kicks at the remains of the campfire. He bends
          down and picks something up. It is Ruth's handkerchief, now
          stained with dirt and blood. He screws it into his shaking
          hand. An engine roars. He looks up to see the RV rumbling up
          the road. It turns onto the Eastbound Highway. MOSES' pick up
          is parked about 200 yards away. MOSES starts to lumber
          towards it as fast as he can, which isn't very fast.

          EXT. STREET - DAY

          HAGGARD and O'REILLY sprint up to their vehicles.

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          Where the hell do you think you're
          going?
          HAGGARD can't hide his frustration.

                         HAGGARD
          We picked up a lead, sir. Little
          kid in the town said he saw an
          alien. Said he was heading toward
          New Mexico.

                         ZOIL
          And you were just gonna take off?

                         HAGGARD
          Thought it best to take the
          initiative, sir. We were going to
          radio you.

                         ZOIL
          Well now, that's mighty civil of
          you. We have a chain of command. I
          expect you to abide by it. Where
          d'you say he was headed?

                         HAGGARD
          New Mexico sir.

                         ZOIL
          Well, then let's move it.
          They scramble.

                         ZOIL
          Oh, and Haggard? Don't go getting
          ideas about your station again.
          ZOIL gets into his car leaving HAGGARD looking pissed.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          91.

          INT. MOSES'S PICK UP - DAY

          MOSES drives, Ruth's bloody handkerchief gripped between his
          hands and the wheel. He listens to his police scanner.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          Zoil, what the hell's going on?

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          They've double back sir. They're
          heading toward New Mexico.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          You better be right about this,
          Zoil. I'm getting a little tired of
          this shit. I want that little
          fucker's brain in a jar by sundown.
          MOSES smiles darkly.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Looks like you're going the wrong
          way, Agent Zoil. That's what
          happens when you don't got the Lord
          on your side.

          EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

          MOSES BEHE's pick up roars through shot, revealing a large
          roadside sign proclaiming LUCIFER'S CUT PRICE FIREWORK
          WAREHOUSE. Creep in on the sign.

          INT. RV - DAYBREAK

          The RV is parked outside the firework warehouse. RUTH and
          PAUL sit opposite each other at the dining table. RUTH is
          holding the X-Men action figure, Storm. PAUL watches her.

                         PAUL
          He likes you, y'know?

                         RUTH
          Graham? D'you think?

                         PAUL
          What are you, blind?
          Beat.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          Sorry.
          Beat.

                         PAUL
          What you got there, a stigmatism?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          92.
          RUTH nods.

                         PAUL
          You know you can get on operation
          for that, right?

                         RUTH
          Papa said the Lord would fix it.
          Guess that's not gonna happen,
          seeing as we're living in a
          gigantic godless universe, with no
          hope of salvation.

                         PAUL
          Hey, I don't know categorically
          that it's godless. I just said
          "~probably'.

                         RUTH
          Oh, that's a relief.

                         PAUL
          Look, the way you're feeling now,
          that's why religion appeared in the
          first place. It's like existential
          Prozac. Imagine being five year
          sold and having no adults around to
          tell you why it snows or what trees
          are for. That's how it is for much
          of humanity. Faith is a night-
          light. It illuminates the scary
          corners, fills the gaps, makes the
          universe easier to comprehend.
          Thing is, it's okay not to know
          everything. I mean, who knows
          what's really out there? Did you
          know astrophysicists recently
          identified the equation for the
          creation of matter?

                         RUTH
          Yes.

                         PAUL
          Oh. Well, then you get it, right?
          If they have the theory, who's to
          say at some point in the future
          they won't put it into practice and
          who's to say someone else didn't do
          that 13.5 Billion years ago and
          that's how the universe came to be?
          Course, then we get the eternal
          problem of who created the creator
          but that's a whole other car park.
          I think Shakespeare said it best.
          "There's more in Heaven and earth
          than is dreamt of in your
          philosophy Horatio"�.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          93.

                         RUTH
          What did you call me?

                         PAUL
          Horatio. It's from Hamlet. You
          know, the Prince of Denmark?

                         RUTH
          Denmark has a municipal population
          of 508,691.
          PAUL blinks.

                         PAUL
          Anyway, if there is a God, didn't
          he create doctors and hospitals and
          scalpels and shit, so he wouldn't
          have to go round fixing people's
          lazy eyeballs?

                         RUTH
          I suppose so.

                         PAUL
          The eye is a delicate and complex
          thing, Ruth. You should get it
          taken care of.
          RUTH smiles. PAUL smiles back. RUTH looks out of the window,
          just as PAUL reaches out to touch her face.

                         RUTH
          They're back.
          PAUL withdraws his hand. GRAHAM and CLIVE are approaching the
          RV clutching a large firework. They climb aboard.

                         PAUL
          Perfect.

                         CLIVE
          What are you going to do with this?

                         PAUL
          Phone home.

          INT. ZOIL'S CAR - DAY


                         VOICE

          ZOIL!
          ZOIL jumps but gathers his composure quickly.

                         ZOIL
          Yes, sir?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          94.

                         VOICE
          Satellite's come up with a data
          analysis on all the traffic coming
          out of Prospect in the last 5
          hours. There was only one RV, and
          guess what, nimrod?

                         ZOIL
          It wasn't going to New Mexico?

                         VOICE
          That's a three pointer Agent Zoil.
          You better spin your ass around.
          You got some serious catching up to
          do. Don't make me come out there.

                         ZOIL
          No, sir. Where are they headed? If
          we gun it, maybe we can get the
          drop on their destination.

                         VOICE
          They're on the 50, heading towards
          Gillette.

                         ZOIL
          What else is around there?

                         VOICE
          Not much. Thunder Basis, Bethlehem
          Creek.

                         ZOIL
          Bethlehem Creek?

                         VOICE
          Holy shit!

          EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

          ZOIL's motorcade pulls a spectacular U-turn and heads back up
          the highway in the opposite direction.

          INT. MOSES'S PICK UP - DAYBREAK

          MOSES listens intently to his scanner.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          You don't think she's sill there,
          do you?
          MOSES smiles.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          95.

          EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

          MOSES BEHE's pick-up truck pulls a similarly spectacular turn
          and heads in a different direction.

          EXT. FARMHOUSE - EVENING

          Caption: Bethlehem Creek, Wyoming
          GRAHAM, CLIVE, RUTH and PAUL stare through the window of the
          RV at the farmhouse glimpsed in the first scene.

                         GRAHAM
          You don't think she's still there
          do you?

                         PAUL
          That's what you're going to find
          out for me.

                         CLIVE
          Us?

                         PAUL
          I can't just knock can I? What if
          she's moved on and someone else
          answers? I'm sick of people
          fainting on me. I'll hang back with
          my buddy Ruth, you two make first
          contact. Just enjoy it.

                         CLIVE
          What shall we say if it's her?
          We're here with the alien that
          killed your dog sixty years ago?

                         PAUL
          Yes. Hurry up, there's going to be
          a really big storm in exactly 34
          minutes.

                         RUTH
          How do you know?

                         PAUL
          It's my job to know.

          EXT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

          GRAHAM knocks on the door.

                         GRAHAM
          Hello?

                         CLIVE
          Knock again.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          96.

          VOICE (O.S.)
          Who's there?

                         CLIVE
          Tara Walton?

          VOICE (O.S.)
          Leave me alone!

                         GRAHAM
          Okay.
          GRAHAM goes to leave. CLIVE stops him.

                         CLIVE
          Miss Walton, I'm the writer, Clive
          Gollings and this is my friend and
          colleague, Graham Willy. We're from
          England and we're here with the
          alien that killed your dog 60 years
          ago.
          Silence. The sound of multiple locks. The door opens to
          reveal a woman (68). Grey, dishevelled but with fire in her
          eyes. She scowls at GRAHAM and CLIVE.

                         TARA
          What is this, some kind of joke?

                         CLIVE
          It's no joke.
          PAUL materializes between GRAHAM and CLIVE.

                         PAUL
          Hello Tara.
          TARA's faces sickens. She falls backwards into the house.

                         PAUL
          Aw nuts.

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. FRONT ROOM - DAY

          GRAHAM, CLIVE, RUTH and PAUL all sit on a sofa. TARA sits
          opposite, staring at PAUL.

                         RUTH
          Maybe I should make some tea.

                         TARA
          Where are my manners? I never
          really have guests. Nobody comes up
          here. I go whole weeks without
          seeing a soul.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          97.
          TARA goes to the kitchen. She can be seen from where they are
          sitting. She turns the gas on and strikes a cooking match.
          PAUL looks pained, struggling for something to say.

                         PAUL
          Can I do anything to help?
          TARA stand in the kitchen doorway, the lit match in her hand.
          PAUL stands and walks toward her, she watches him.

                         TARA
          I've only just stopped believing in
          you, y'know? Spent a very long time
          trying to convince folk about what
          happened that night. My parents, my
          friends. Everyone thought I was
          mad. They told me it was a meteor
          that squashed little Paul. Took me
          away and did tests they did, said
          it was for cosmic radiation. They
          said I was concussed,
          hallucinating, but I knew you were
          real. I pulled you from that
          spaceship myself. Sat with you till
          the men came and took you away. If
          Pop hadn't had to go to Casper, he
          would have seen you too. They kept
          telling me I'd imagined it but I
          knew different. Pop tried to
          understand but they filled his head
          with "~delayed this' and "~post-
          traumatic that'. He just used to
          smile and say "~there, there Tara'.
          He got sick when I was seventeen
          and died a few years later. I
          inherited this place. Word got out
          about my story not long after it
          happened, so I didn't really have
          any friends. Kids used to throw
          stones at the house and call me
          names. I just kinda retreated into
          myself. I'd spend whole nights up
          on the roof, staring at the sky,
          hoping to catch a glimpse of you
          again. I always believed that one
          day you"~d come back and here you
          are.
          The match flame reaches her fingers, she shakes it out.

                         TARA
          Listen to me gabbing. Milk and
          sugar?

                         PAUL
          I'm so sorry.

                         TARA
          What for?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          98.

                         PAUL
          For killing your dog and ruining
          your life.

                         TARA
          That doesn't matter. Don't you see?
          You're real. I was right and all
          those folk that said I was crazy?
          Well, they can all go fuck
          themselves.

                         PAUL
          It's good to see you, Tara.
          The tinkle of glass. Something hits the floor. A tear gas
          canister spins at their feet, spewing thick fog.

                         TARA
          Now, where do you suppose that came
          from?

                         PAUL
          Fuck a duck! Get out!

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          Shit!

                         PAUL
          Tara, where's the back door?

                         TARA
          In back.
          The gang bustle out of the room just as the front door
          splinters inward, revealing O'REILLY in a gas mask.

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. BACK ROOM - DAY

          The gang quickly barricade the door of the next room and
          continue on toward the back of the house. They find the back
          door, just as it is opened by ZOIL. The gang freeze. PAUL
          vanishes, then reappears right next to ZOIL, putting his hand
          across ZOIL's forehead.

                         ZOIL
          Paul, wait-
          A burst of psychic images explode into ZOIL's head. The agent
          and the alien fall on the ground in an exhausted heap.

                         PAUL
          Clive?

                         CLIVE
          Yes?

                         PAUL
          A little help?

                         

                         

                         

                         

          99.
          CLIVE picks PAUL up. HAGGARD approaches, gun drawn.

                         HAGGARD
          Freeze, space monkey!

                         GRAHAM
          We're cut off.

                         TARA
          Storm cellar!
          TARA opens a nearby door and motions them down some stairs,
          as HAGGARD fires wildly. Crockery explodes around them.

                         ZOIL
          Godammit Haggard!

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. CELLAR - DAY

          The gang descend into a dim room. It is full of UFO
          paraphernalia. Models, toys, books, souvenirs from every UFO
          hot spot in the land. One the wall is the "~Take Me To Your
          Dealer' poster. PAUL sees it.

                         PAUL
          Not a fucking cent.

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. BACK ROOM - DAY

          ZOIL comes to. He sees HAGGARD at the cellar door. Screeching
          brakes draw his attention as MOSES BEHE's truck skids up. He
          gets out, shotgun in hand.

                         ZOIL
          Oh great!

          EXT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

          TEAM PAUL climb out of the cellar and start to run towards
          the RV, PAUL still in CLIVE's arms. It starts to rain.

                         PAUL
          Come on!

                         GRAHAM
          Ow, my shins!

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. BACK ROOM - DAY

          ZOIL sees MOSES run round to the front of the farmhouse.

                         ZOIL
          Help me up!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          100.

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. FRONT ROOM - DAY

          O'REILLY sees TEAM PAUL running toward the RV from the front
          room. He levels his pistol at PAUL and squints.

          EXT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

          TEAM PAUL reach the RV and start to board, just as MOSES BEHE
          lumbers into view.

                         MOSES BEHE

          RUTH!

                         RUTH
          Papa?
          PAUL grabs RUTH's hand.

                         PAUL
          Come on.

                         MOSES BEHE
          (levelling his shotgun)
          Take your hands off her, devil!

          INT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE. FRONT ROOM - DAY

          O'REILLY find his mark. Pull back to reveal he is stood by
          the kitchen door, through which we see the cooker, the simmer
          of gas in the air.

                         O'REILLY
          Ready or not.
          He fires.

          KA-BOOM!!!
          O'REILLY is vaporized in a ball of orange fire.

          EXT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

          The farmhouse explodes. ZOIL and HAGGARD who are only just
          clear, hit the deck, covering their heads. MOSES is knocked
          off his feet as flaming wood and debris rain down.

          INT. RV - DAY


                         CLIVE
          I'll drive!

                         GRAHAM
          Punch it!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          101.
          The RV roars into life, reversing out onto the road. CLIVE
          pulls a spectacular U-turn, sending the passengers flying.
          GRAHAM lands in TARA's arms, RUTH in PAUL's. RUTH and GRAHAM
          exchange glances. Dumb luck. TARA straightens herself and
          looks out of the RV at her destroyed home.

                         TARA
          My weed!

          EXT. TARA'S FARMHOUSE - DAY

          ZOIL is blackened and dazed, draped over HAGGARD's shoulder.
          His eyes focus on a figure in the near distance. MOSES BEHE
          picks himself up and lumbers off towards his truck. HAGGARD
          drops ZOIL and runs to his car.

                         ZOIL
          Damnit Haggard, wait!
          HAGGARD takes off. ZOIL staggers to his car and with great
          difficulty, takes off in pursuit, narrowly avoiding MOSES
          BEHE's truck. Lightening flashes. Loud thunder.

          INT. RV - DAY

          CLIVE floors it. RAIN lashes down. The sky is almost black.

                         GRAHAM
          Your dad's persistent, isn't he?

                         RUTH
          You have no idea.
          CLIVE sees their pursuers in his wing mirror.

                         CLIVE
          I think we have a problem.

                         GRAHAM
          What do we do?

                         PAUL
          Go left.

                         CLIVE
          What?

                         PAUL

          GO LEFT!
          CLIVE hauls the wheel left. The RV leaves the road and
          bounces across the scrub. TEAM PAUL hang on for dear life.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          102.

          EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

          HAGGARD, ZOIL and MOSES follow the RV across the scrub.

          INT. ZOIL'S CAR - EVENING


                         ZOIL

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          What the hell is he doing?!

          VOICE (O.S.)
          Zoil. Progress report!

                         ZOIL
          Sir, I-

          INT. HAGGARD'S CAR - EVENING


                         HAGGARD
          In pursuit, sir.

                         VOICE
          Who the hell is this?

                         HAGGARD
          Haggard, sir. Agent Zoil has been
          compromised. I'm assuming command.

          ZOIL (O.S.)
          Now wait a goddamn minute!

                         VOICE
          I don't give a shit who's in
          command. Where' my fucking
          mooncoon?!

                         HAGGARD
          Just ahead of me sir. We're heading
          East across scrubland just North of
          Mitchell Creek.

                         VOICE
          I don't wanna hear from either of
          you jokers until that little mother
          fucker is under glass.

                         HAGGARD
          Yes sir!
          HAGGARD floors it. He is manic and wild eyed.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          103.

          EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

          We see the chase from above, the RV is in the lead, gaining
          behind them, is HAGGARD, followed by ZOIL, then MOSES.
          HAGGARD draws level. He looks up into CLIVE's eyes.

          INT. RV - DAY


                         CLIVE
          They're trying to overtake.

                         PAUL
          Don't let him get past.

                         CLIVE
          Shall I ram him?

          RUTH/TARA/GRAHAM/PAUL

          YES!
          CLIVE wrenches the wheel hard to the left.

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING

          The RV nudges the BLACK SEDAN which spins out of control and
          skids to a stop, ZOIL and MOSES scream past. HAGGARD turns
          the engine over. Nothing. He yells. Lightening explodes
          overhead, hail pings and bounces off the hood.

          INT. RV - EVENING


                         CLIVE
          What are we doing exactly?

                         PAUL

                         (TO HIMSELF)
          Immense pressure and temperature
          drop. High winds, circulating in
          the troposphere, two opposed fronts
          clashing. Oh, this is going to be a
          good one.

                         CLIVE

          A GOOD WHAT?!
          RUTH stares out of the window.

                         RUTH
          Oh my God.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          104.

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING

          A massive black funnel extends from the sky about half a mile
          ahead of the chase. It rakes the ground, reducing a small
          farm building to a million splinters.

          INT. MOSES'S PICK UP - EVENING


                         MOSES BEHE

                         HOLY-

          INT. ZOIL'S CAR - DAY

          ZOIL is sat mouth agape.

                         ZOIL
          -Shit!

          INT. RV - EVENING

          CLIVE swerves to avoid a grain silo, which comes bouncing
          across the ground toward them.

                         CLIVE
          Are you sure you know what you're
          doing?!

                         PAUL
          Twenty seconds.

                         TARA
          Paul, we'll get sucked right up.

                         PAUL
          Stay on target.
          A branch smacks on the windshield, cracking it.

                         CLIVE
          Paul!

                         PAUL
          Stay on target.

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING

          The grain silo bounces close to ZOIL's car, he swerves to
          avoid it and stops. MOSES pulls up just ahead. MOSES and ZOIL
          get out of the vehicles, almost unable to stand against the
          wind and debris. They watch the RV, now a good distance in
          front, heading for the heart of the tornado.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          105.

                         ZOIL
          He's insane!

                         MOSES BEHE

          RUTH!
          HAGGARD's car screams past. ZOIL grabs his radio.

                         ZOIL
          Haggard, stand down. Stand down!

          HAGGARD (O.S.)
          He's mine. I can do this!

                         ZOIL
          Haggard, it's suicide.

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING


                         CLIVE

          PAUL?

                         PAUL

          NOW!
          The funnel suddenly evaporates into the sky, leaving the path
          ahead clear and oddly calm.

                         GRAHAM
          It's gone!

                         CLIVE
          Where did it go?

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING

          ZOIL watches amazed. He almost smiles.

                         ZOIL
          Son of a bitch!
          ZOIL looks at the sky. His face drops.

                         ZOIL
          Haggard. Wait a minute!
          An engine revs nearby. ZOIL turns to see MOSES BEHE pull off
          in pursuit.

                         ZOIL

          MR. BEHE!
          (into is radio)
          Damnit, hang back, hang back!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          106.

          HAGGARD (O.S.)
          You're not running this show any
          more Zoil. You had your chance.

                         ZOIL
          Haggard, he knows what he's doing.

          HAGGARD (O.S.)
          So do I.

                         ZOIL
          It's a trap!

          INT. RV - EVENING


                         CLIVE
          They're still coming!

                         RUTH

          WHAT ARE WE DOING TO DO?

                         PAUL
          Ruth, why don't you count back from

          10?

                         RUTH
          Okay. 10...9...

                         PAUL
          Back where I'm from, tornadoes are
          part of our daily life. We've
          learnt how to live with them, how
          to understand them.

                         CLIVE
          They're gaining!

                         PAUL
          We've learnt to anticipate their
          behavior, know their personalities,
          know when they're playing games.

                         RUTH

          3...

                         GRAHAM
          What games?

                         RUTH

          2...

                         PAUL
          Hide and seek?

                         RUTH

          1...

                         

                         

                         

                         

          107.
          CLIVE looks into his wing mirror, just as the tornado snakes
          down out of the sky between them and HAGGARD.

                         CLIVE
          Great Caesar's ghost!

                         RUTH
          How did you do that? How did you
          know?

                         PAUL
          Evolution baby.

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING

          The tornado touches down hear HAGGARD's car. He barely has
          time to scream before his is lifted into the vortex.

          INT. MOSES'S PICK UP - EVENING

          A wide eyed MOSES yanks hard on the wheel, spinning the truck
          round, heading back in the opposite direction.

          EXT. SCRUB - EVENING

          MOSES's truck hurtles past ZOIL's car.

          MOSES BEHE (O.S.)
          Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!
          ZOIL looks back toward the no unreachable RV.

          INT. RV - DAY


                         CLIVE
          We've lost them.
          TEAM PAUL erupt into cheers. PAUL jumps in the air and
          whoops. He high five GRAHAM and pats CLIVE on the back.
          GRAHAM embraces RUTH and tries to kiss her, she pulls away.

                         GRAHAM
          Sorry.

                         RUTH
          Wait, what about Papa?

                         CLIVE
          I only saw one car following us.

                         PAUL
          Where's Tara?
          TARA comes out of the toilet.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          108.

                         TARA
          The bulb's gone in there.

                         GRAHAM
          That was just awesome. Amazing
          driving Clive. It was like G.T.A.
          but potentially fatal. Wasn't it,
          Clive? Clive?
          A knocking and a gurgling sound is coming from the engine.

                         CLIVE
          Oh no.

          EXT. SMALL ROAD - EVENING

          The RV splutters to a halt. Steam rises from the radiator. It
          whines, coughs and dies. Cut to TEAM PAUL stood around
          surveying their fallen companion. A single bullet hold in the
          grill, reveals the cause of her downfall.

                         GRAHAM
          There goes the deposit.

                         CLIVE
          Fare thee well friend. You were a
          faithful and mighty steed.

                         TARA
          She rode that storm with a bullet
          in her heart and didn't stop until
          we we're safe.

                         RUTH
          If there is a benevolent creator
          watching over everything then may
          he, she or it bless the 1985
          Holiday Rambler, Imperial.
          Everyone looks to PAUL for his comment but he is not there.

                         GRAHAM
          Paul?

          PAUL (O.S.)
          We're here.
          PAUL is stood away from the RV at the foot of a small hill.
          He starts to climb. The others follow. Crane up as TEAM PAUL
          climb the hill to reveal a sight familiar to anyone who has
          seen Close Encounters Of The Third Kind...
          DEVIL's TOWER

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          Of course!

                         

                         

                         

                         

          109.

          INT. ZOIL'S CAR - EVENING

          ZOIL drives. Scanning the landscape. Searching.

                         VOICE
          Zoil! What the hell is going on?

                         ZOIL
          We got hit by a twister, sir.
          Haggard's dead.

                         VOICE
          What about the other one?

                         ZOIL
          I lost him when the ranch exploded.

                         VOICE
          Jesus Christ, Zoil, this has been
          one fuck up after another. I should
          have handled it myself. I want that
          little bastard dead by midnight
          tonight or you'll be working
          security in a convention centre.
          Now where's that RV?
          ZOIL's eyes widen. Parked on the roadside is the RV.

                         VOICE
          Zoil? ZOIL?
          ZOIL is staring at DEVIL'S TOWER.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER - DAY

          TEAM PAUL hike towards the tower.

                         RUTH
          What you may not know is on the
          outside of the tower they bolted a
          series of ladders, all the way to
          the top, put there by William
          Rogers in 1893. He was the first
          man to climb the tower.

                         TARA
          I climbed up there in 1976. Thought
          it would make a good site for some
          UFO spotting. Turns out I wasn't
          the only one.

                         PAUL
          We call them IFOs.

                         TARA
          Cute.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          110.

                         PAUL
          I-thank-you.

          EXT. SMALL ROAD - DUSK

          ZOIL opens the trunk of his car. He pulls out a large piston,
          spare ammo and a webbing pack which he slings around his
          shoulder. He sets off up the hill.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER. CLEARING - NIGHT

          TEAM PAUL are walking round the tower. As they round the
          corner the landscape changes, the trees give way to a piece
          of open pasture flanked by pine forest, the tower opens
          itself up slightly, a perfect natural amphitheatre.

                         PAUL
          This is it.
          PAUL takes out the firework, Zippo and cigarettes from his
          back pack. He lights his last cigarette and takes a drag.

                         PAUL
          I'll miss these.
          PAUL takes the firework a little way off and sticks it in the
          ground. He crouches down and lights the touch paper with the
          cigarette, then scampers back to the gang. Beat. The firework
          rises into the sky. It explodes. The star-burst is massive
          and bright red, it illuminates the tower.

                         TARA
          Pretty.

                         GRAHAM
          What now?

                         PAUL
          We wait.
          A light appears in the sky some way off.

          PAUL (CONT'D)

                         (FROWNING)
          That was quick.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER. FOREST - NIGHT

          ZOIL runs through the bush, fast, like a wild animal. His
          face fixed with serious intent, gun in one hand, torch in the
          other.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          111.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER. CLEARING - NIGHT

          TEAM PAUL watch as the ethereal light draws nearer.
          Spotlights cut through the night, searching beneath.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER. FOREST - NIGHT

          ZOIL leaps a fallen tree. Ahead, through the trees, he sees
          an ethereal glow. He pulls the slide back on his pistol.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER. CLEARING - NIGHT

          The lights are really close now. They are accompanied by a
          deep rumble. A very earthly sound. Rotor blades.

                         PAUL
          Wait a minute...
          A HELICOPTER swoops in to land, kicking dust and debris into
          the air. TEAM PAUL turn back to the woods but are stopped by
          the sight of a torch getting nearer.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          Oh shit.
          Behind them, the HELICOPTER powers down. The door opens.

                         VOICE
          Well, whaddya know? Small world.
          VOICE appears flanked by two faceless, heavily armed
          SOLDIERS. They level their weapons, just as ZOIL bursts
          through the trees behind them.

                         ZOIL

          PAUL!

                         PAUL
          Lorenzo?!
          PAUL spins round. We go into slow motion. ZOIL fires. The
          bullet explodes from the gun, straight at us. Angle on the
          bullet as it passes in ECU. The shot moves round behind the
          bullet to reveal PAUL, looking shocked. The bullet whizzes
          past him, slamming into one of the soldiers.
          ZOIL rolls, coming to rest on one knee. He fires a second
          shot into the leg of the other soldier who collapses. He
          leaves his gun at VOICE just as the PILOT bursts from the
          cockpit. The PILOT fires but misses ZOIL. ZOIL takes out his
          shoulder, spinning him off his feet. VOICE steps forward,
          holding a smoking gun.

                         VOICE
          It was you! You told him. I
          should've known.

                         (MORE)

                         

                         

                         

                         

          112.

                         VOICE (CONT'D)
          You've never made a mistake in your
          life. That's why I put you in
          charge of this fucking mission.

                         ZOIL
          He's my friend! I've known him for
          twenty years. He introduced me to
          my wife damnit!

                         VOICE
          You stupid son of a bitch. In five
          years, you could have been where I
          am.

                         ZOIL
          I don't want to be where you are.

                         VOICE
          Too bad, seeing as I'm the one
          hold'ng all the cards and when I
          say "cards"�, I of course mean big
          fucking gun.
          VOICE points his gun at PAUL.

                         PAUL
          How'd you find me?

                         VOICE
          It was pretty easy once we got a
          fix on the geek-mobile. Wasn't hard
          to figure out where you were
          headed. You always did have a flare
          for the dramatic.
          PAUL nods, a sad smile creeping across his mouth.

                         VOICE
          Let's go.
          TARA stands in front of PAUL, then RUTH, then GRAHAM then
          CLIVE, who summons every ounce of bravery in his body.

                         CLIVE
          He's not going anywhere.

                         VOICE
          Be honest with yourself, two
          scoops. What is it that you think
          you can possibly bring to the table
          at this stage in the game?
          CLIVE reaches beyond his back and produces his KATANA SWORD,
          he holds it like a proud Samurai.

                         CLIVE
          Blind fury.
          The blade falls off.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          113.

                         CLIVE
          Bloody low grade Turkish alloy.

                         VOICE
          Step aside, you fat nerd.

                         CLIVE

                         (IN KLINGON)
          Graham, his this man.
          CLIVE steps aside. GRAHAM slams his fist into the face of the
          unsuspecting VOICE. He staggers back but rallies quickly,
          blocking GRAHAM's second blow and delivering a heavy rebuke.
          RUTH leaps onto VOICE's back and starts pummeling his head.

                         RUTH
          Leave him alone!
          VOICE hits out at RUTH. GRAHAM renews his attack.

                         GRAHAM
          Leave her alone!
          VOICE throws them off and comes face to face with TARA.

                         TARA
          Leave them alone.
          WHAM! She whacks VOICE across the face with a large stick.

                         TARA
          You're not taking him away again.
          He staggers backwards and falls to the ground, unconscious.

                         PAUL
          Thank you, Tara.

                         TARA
          Don't mention it.
          PAUL rushes to ZOIL who lies on the ground, wounded.

                         ZOIL
          The things I do for you, huh?

                         PAUL
          You know I appreciate it.

                         ZOIL
          Do you have any idea how difficult
          it was to catch you guys?

                         PAUL

                         (LAUGHS)
          Let me take a look at that. Ruth,
          shine the torch down here?
          RUTH grabs a torch and steps in behind PAUL.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          114.
          BLAM! RUTH lurches forward, suddenly limp. Everyone turns to
          see MOSES BEHE, shotgun smoking in his and. His face white,
          his eyes wide.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Oh Lord, Ruth. My little Ruth.

                         GRAHAM
          Noooooooooo!
          GRAHAM gathers RUTH up in his arms. She coughs, flecks of
          blood around her mouth.

                         MOSES BEHE
          I...I never meant to shoot her. I
          was aiming for the goblin.

                         CLIVE
          He's not a goblin he's from another
          planet.

                         MOSES BEHE
          But he can't be. He... he...

                         GRAHAM
          He's an alien you stupid man! Oh
          Ruth, Ruth I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
          I should have never persuaded you
          to come with us.
          RUTH focuses on GRAHAM. She smiles, weakly.

                         RUTH
          What, and miss all this? Graham,
          I've lived more in the last 48
          hours that I ever did in that
          trailer park. Isn't that what you
          said living was all about? Right
          now? This conversation? That tree?
          My next cheeseburger? I'm not
          afraid anymore Graham. I'm cold
          though. Hey, where is everybody?
          RUTH shudders and dies. TARA and ZOIL look aghast. GRAHAM
          buries his head in RUTH's hair. CLIVE, his eyes are filled
          with tears, puts his and on GRAHAM's shoulder.

                         MOSES BEHE
          What have I done? I'm sorry. I'm so
          sorry.
          A shadow is cast across RUTH. Everyone looks up to see PAUL,
          silhouetted against the moon. His eyes glint.

                         PAUL
          There is no way this thing isn't
          gonna end happy.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          115.
          PAUL drops to his knee and places his hands on RUTH's chest.
          MOSES drops his shotgun and lumbers over, distraught.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Get away from her! Don't you touch
          my little girl.
          CLIVE holds out a hand to stop MOSES. He obeys. The air hums,
          charged with static. PAUL's skin ripples with color. Everyone
          watches transfixed. RUTH's eye flickers and opens. With some
          difficulty, she sits up and takes off her glasses. She blinks
          both shining, healthy eyes.

                         GRAHAM
          Ruth, are you okay?

                         RUTH
          I think so. Is anyone hungry? I
          really feel like a cheese burger.
          Relief and joy spreads through group. MOSES falls to his
          knees and sobs. He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up
          to see PAUL.

                         MOSES BEHE
          Thank you.
          RUTH and GRAHAM hug. She smiles at him.

                         RUTH
          You can kiss me now.
          They kiss with awkward passion. Everyone smiles then after a
          bit become uncomfortable and a bit grossed out.

                         PAUL
          Looks like the geek shall inherit
          the earth.

          CLICK CLICK.
          The group turn to see VOICE, upright, pointing his gun.

                         VOICE
          I wouldn't say-

          SPLAT.
          A large spaceship lands hard on top of VOICE. Everyone looks
          shocked. PAUL, GRAHAM and CLIVE exchange a look.

                         PAUL
          Happens to the best of us.

          EXT. DEVIL'S TOWER. CLEARING - NIGHT

          Some time has passed, a number of PAUL style aliens are now
          present.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          116.
          One of them uses a big hose to clean the remains of VOICE
          from the hull of the ship. Another two help the now healed
          soldier to their feet, patting them on the back and shaking
          their hands. The atmosphere is amiable.
          TEAM PAUL look at one another. ZOIL and MOSES have joined
          them. PAUL kisses and hugs RUTH.

                         PAUL
          I'm sorry I frightened you so much
          your hair turned white.

                         RUTH
          You didn't frighten me. You freed
          me. You helped me see the light.

                         PAUL

                         (TO MOSES)
          Take care of her big man.

                         MOSES BEHE
          I will sir. God be with you.

                         PAUL
          Whatever dude.
          They high five. PAUL turns to ZOIL, whose arm is in a
          makeshift sling and shakes his hand.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          Lorenzo Zoil, you're a good man.
          Say bye to Karen for me.

                         ZOIL
          Safe trip Short Round.
          PAUL turns to GRAHAM and CLIVE. He pulls JELVA - ALIEN QUEEN
          OF THE VARVAK from his pocket and hands it to them.

                         CLIVE
          You can keep it.

                         PAUL
          Cool. Okay.

                         GRAHAM
          What did you think?

                         PAUL
          Yeah. Three tits, awesome. Although
          you know what? Sometimes, less is
          more.
          The boys nod.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          Thank you.

                         GRAHAM
          No, thank you.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          117.

                         CLIVE
          You are, and always will be, our
          friend.

                         PAUL
          Come here you fucking geeks.
          They hug. He takes in incandescent orb from his pocket.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          This is a self-sustaining light
          orb. Might come in handy, you know,
          if a bulb goes.
          TARA is waiting for her goodbye but PAUL ignores her. He face
          drops as he walks to his ship. He turns to her.

          PAUL (CONT'D)
          You coming?

                         TARA
          What?

                         PAUL
          I ruined your life Tara. Think I
          owe you a new one.
          TARA takes PAUL's hand.

                         TARA
          I don't have my toothbrush.

                         PAUL
          Baby, where we're going, you won't
          need teeth.
          TARA frowns then follows PAUL aboard. PAUL and TARA stand in
          the doorway. One of the other ALIENS comes out of a small
          room behind them, speaking in a strange tongue.
          Subtitle: THE BULB'S GONE IN THERE.
          As the door slowly closes, GRAHAM and CLIVE give PAUL the
          CE3K salute. PAUL gives them the finger. The boys laugh,
          tears in their eyes. The ship lifts off into the sky. GRAHAM,
          CLIVE, RUTH, MOSES and ZOIL watch them go. The light form the
          ship gradually fades, leaving them in darkness. Pause.

                         GRAHAM
          That was good, wasn't it?

          INT. CONVENTION CENTRE. SIGNING PAVILLION - DAY

          We are at Comic-Con the following year. We come to rest on a
          long line of people. Sat behind a table are GRAHAM and CLIVE.
          They look more confident, cooler. CLIVE is talking to a short
          woman in an EWOK costume. He pats her on the ass as she walks
          away. All around them are stacks of their new novel: PAUL.

                         

                         

                         

                         

          118.
          A banner hangs behind, displaying the cover, GRAHAM's own
          rendering of their alien friend. They sign copies. The
          PUBLICIST mills around, looking very pleased.

                         PUBLICIST
          Just one item per person please.
          He winks at the boys. RUTH rushes up to GRAHAM, she is
          dressed as Storm from X-Men and pushes a customized buggy, in
          which sits a baby dressed as Professor X.

                         RUTH
          Hey.

                         GRAHAM
          Hey babe. You okay?

                         RUTH
          I'm just taking Tara over to the
          autograph pavilion. Michael Biehn's
          here!

                         CLIVE
          Oh, say hi from us, won't you?
          RUTH kisses GRAHAM. Two nerds approach.

                         MAJOR NERD 1
          Uh... were you... did you?

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          There you go.

          SECURITY MAN (O.S.)
          Next in line please.

                         MAJOR NERD 2
          Uh... were you... did you?

                         GRAHAM/CLIVE
          There you go.

                         SECURITY MAN
          Guys, if you've had your book
          signed please move on.
          Tilt up to reveal the security man. It is none other than
          former Special Agent LORENZO ZOIL. CRANE up to reveal the
          whole convention floor.




                                   THE END