Repo Man Movie Script
REPO MAN Written by Alex Cox Transcript by Steve Farmer Repo Man theme music now begins playing. Map is shown in background (green text on black background), zoomed in on Los Alamos, New Mexico. While remaining credits are shown, the map travels to Sante Fe, then Albuquerque, then begins following US66 west through Arizona to California, finally ending up a few miles east of Goffs (northwest of Needles). Green '64 Chevy Malibu Malibu is weaving down the highway in the desert, passes billboard with motorcycle cop behind it. Cop pulls out behind Malibu. J. FRANK PARNELL Forty-niner and his daughter Clementine. Oh my darlin, oh my darlin... Motorcycle cop pulls the car over, gets off motorcycle and raps on car window. J. FRANK PARNELL Clementine Clemen- COUNTY SHERIFF Let me see your drivers license. RADIO Post ten-eighteen. Post ten-eighteen. COUNTY SHERIFF From out of town, hmm? What's you got in the trunk? J. FRANK PARNELL oah...you don't want to look in there. COUNTY SHERIFF Give me the keys. The motorcycle cop walks around to the back of the car and opens the trunk. The car has New Mexico license plates KBB-283. In every scene after this when the plates are visible, they will be 127-GBH. COUNTY SHERIFF AHHHHHH! The motorcycle cop gets disintegrated, leaving behind a pair of flaming boots (a reference to the movie Timerider, which was co-written and produced by Mike Nesmith). Parnell watches from side mirror, where we see that the left side of his sunglasses have no lens. J. FRANK PARNELL Oh my darlin Clementine, you are lost now gone forever, dreadful sorry Clementine. Otto and Kevin, in the supermarket, facing cans of generic yellow cling sliced peaches. KEVIN Do Do Do De Do De Do De Do De Do Feeling Do De Da Do De Do De Do Feeling seven-up. I'm feeling seven-up. Feeling seven up. I'm feeling seven up. It's a crisp refreshing feeling crystal clear and light. America's drinking seven-up and it sure feels right. Feeling lucky seven. Otto puts price sticker on Kevin's glasses. OTTO Kevin stop singing man. KEVIN Feeling seven eleven. KEVIN Hum. I wasn't singing guy. OTTO I'm standing right next to you and you're fucking (flippin) singing. Cut it out. KEVIN Jeeze. Why so tense guy? MR. HUMPHRIES Otto? KEVIN Mister Humphries! MR. HUMPHRIES You were late again this morning. Now normally I'd let it go but it's been brought to my attention that you're not paying attention to the way you space the cans. Many young men of your age in these uncertain times- MR. HUMPHRIES Otto! Are you paying attention to me? LOUIE Hey! He's talking to you! Kevin chuckles Otto grabs Kevin by the front of his shirt, steps around him, and pushes him into the stack of cans (this has been described as a goof but it's clearly just a case of awkward staging used to make the shot work). Louie pulls his gun. LOUIE (Basta!) KEVIN You gotta love getting fired from your job in a big way, Otto. MR. HUMPHRIES What are you laughing at? Louie, throw him out too. LOUIE Come on you worm. Get out of here. Louie shoves Kevin down aisle where Otto is walking out. Otto takes off his clip-on bow tie and tosses it back towards Louie. Louie twirls his gun and puts it away. Note that the store aisle is lined with nothing but generic products, plain black lettering on white background. All products in movie from now on will have this appearance. Punks slamdancing to Coup D'etat in the back of a warehouse. Otto is there slamdancing and Duke walks up, the two of them swing each other around. Behind them, the graffiti on the wall says "Circle Jerks", a band which will appear later in the movie. OTTO How you doing dude? When did you get out of the slammer man? Otto enters bedroom where Debbi is waiting in bed. DEBBI What's the difference? ] OTTO Huh? Otto lays back on the bed and puts his hands behind his head. OTTO okay Debbi pulls back his shirt a little and begins kissing his stomach, then stops. DEBBI Otto. Otto. OTTO What? DEBBI Get me another beer. Otto goes downstairs and there's a party going on. Institutionalized plays in background. KEVIN Ow. Cool. Ow. Dammit. I'm supposed to be the host here. KEVIN Ow! Otto returns to the bedroom OTTO Debbi honey. I got you a beer. Otto turns on light and finds Duke there with Debbi. [OTTO Shit. DEBBI Just ignore him Duke he's nothing but a big baby. DUKE Turn the fucking light out.] Otto leaves room just as Kevin arrives and looks in the door. KEVIN What are you doing? Nobody supposed to be up here. This is my parent's room. Dude, nobody supposed to be up here, this is my parent's room.) [Otto in a vacant lot drinking a beer. It's early morning and Otto starts walking. OTTO Don't want to talk about anything else. We don't want to know. We're just dedicated...to our favorite shows. Saturday night live, Monday night football, Dallas, Jeffersons, Gilligan's island, Flintstones. ] Otto still walking, but it's light now. Bud pulls up next to him in a blue sedan. BUD Hey kid! (Honk) Hey! Hey kid! Hey! Hey! Are you hard of hearing? OTTO What do you want? BUD You want to make ten bucks? OTTO Fuck you, queer.(Shove off, pervert) BUD Now waita minute wait a minute kid you got the wrong idea. Look my old lady is real sick and I got to get her to the hospital, okay? OTTO So what? Take her there. BUD I can't. I can't leave her car in this bad area. Look I need some helpful soul to drive it for me, okay? She's pregnant. She's with twins. She could drop at any time. All right? OTTO Well, uh, how much are you going to give me? BUD Fifteen bucks. OTTO No. Won't do it for less than twenty. BUD Twenty-five. Follow me in my old lady's car. It's right here. okay? OTTO All right... Where's, uh, where's your old lady at? BUD Never mind about that. Right now we need to get both of my cars out of this bad area, allright? Come on. Otto gets in the car, a white 4 door Cutlass sedan. FROM THE APARTMENT (baby crying) Papa! (?) aqui. un gringo (en la calle con su coche) BUD Let's go. Bud and Otto drive down freeway, Chevy Malibu swerves in front of them. It is moving right across the lanes but has the left blinker on. Bud and Otto enter the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation (Marlene talks on phone simultaneously with other conversations). MARLENE Helping hand acceptance corporation, Marlene speaking. REPO VICTIM You know damn straight what I'm talking about. It's sitting right out side. It took me two weeks to get this money up so I can come and get it. MARLENE I don't think so sir you'll have to call back. I'll call you back O.K.? OLY That ain't your car. REPO VICTIM'S GIRL Hey don't let him lie to you like that. Unh? MARLENE Thanks Bud. REPO VICTIM Are you going to give me my car or do I got to go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet. MARLENE Helping hand acceptance corporation Marlene speaking. PLETTSCHNER Take it easy sonny boy. REPO VICTIM'S GIRL Shut up rent-a-cop. OLY Best goddamn (gol-durn) car on the lot. REPO VICTIM You damn right it is. MARLENE Will you, Will you hold please? MARLENE Helping hand acceptance corporation Marlene speaking. REPO VICTIM Say moma what's happening? You want to take a lift? MARLENE No thank you. L.A.P.D. I wanted to report a repo in Boro heights area. REPO VICTIM'S GIRL Let's go. The Repo victim and his girl leave PLETTSCHNER A Cadillac. Is he a pimp? BUD Shut up Plettschner. MARLENE Bud what street was that car on? BUD Honey I don't know, some alley uh. Hey kid! OTTO What? BUD Hey what street was the Cutlass on? OTTO I don't know. What happened to your old lady? MARLENE They don't know I'll call you back. MARLENE Helping hand acceptance corporation Marlene speaking. BUD My old lady? Oh shit (shoot)! I forgot all about her. Well she'll take the bus. She's a rock. MARLENE What kind of car? What kind of car? BUD Hey come on in. Marlene! Marlene! MARLENE Can you hold? OLY Got a name kid? OTTO Yeah! It's Otto. OLY Otto! Otto parts? HAHAHA The phone rings and Oly answers Marlene is talking on the phone, but a continuous cut now shows her holding a pencil in both hands. MARLENE You got a drivers license honey? OLY ON THE PHONE Oh Yeah! Fuckin-a (flippin right) we ripped your car. Asshole (airhead)! MARLENE Let me see it. OLY ON THE PHONE You want to know who told us where it was? Your goddamn (gol-durned) brother. MARLENE Are you really twenty-one? OTTO That's what it says doesn't it. OLY Hey you want some help with that beer kid? OTTO You're all repo men. OLY What if we are? Otto pours the beer on the floor. BUD You know kid, uhh, usually when someone pulls shit (stuff) like that my first reaction is uhh I want to punch his fucking (flippin) lights out. BUD But you know something? BUD AND OLY You're all right! BUD Right Lite? Lite enters LITE Got any messages for me baby? MARLENE Yeah. Here you go. OLY Cracks me up. LITE Somebody pissed (puked) on the floor again? OLY Maybe he's looking for a job? Huh budsky? BUD Could be? What do you say kid were always on the look out for a few good men. OTTO Screw (stuff) that! Ain't going to be no repo man. No way! Otto out in the yard with Miller MILLER You find one in every car. You'll see. Back in the desert We begin scene looking through the windshield of a police motorcycle. The windshield of the police motorcycle naturally has a pine tree air freshener hanging from it. We see some people searching around in the desert, most of them in radiation suits, with a local sheriff following a woman in a business suit. RADIO Come in Officer Labeef do you read me? RADIO Chuck will you stop fooling around? SHERIFF I've never seen the like of that. RADIO I have the stats on that car Officer Labeef. RADIO Ten-forty Baker SHERIFF What could have done that to him? Gasoline? Napalm? AGENT ROGERSZ It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes. SHERIFF What? Suspect presence on west coast confirmed 44% possibility Los Angeles Locate immediately Do not notify police AGENT ROGERSZ Suspect presence on west coast confirmed. Do not notify police. Otto and Kevin on a porch in the rain OTTO Night watchman in Pomona. KEVIN Yep. OTTO Asbestos worker. City of industry. KEVIN Yep Yep! OTTO French fry maker Agoura. Ha Ha that's absurd. KEVIN Yeah? Well you think it's funny huh? There's fucking (lots of) room to move as a fry cook, man. You know I could be manager in two years? King! God! (egad!) OTTO You know Kevin, I had this wild fucking (flippin) dream the other night. KEVIN I bet. OTTO It was with you and me and we were working in this sleazy shithole (shabby) motel down in Miami, Florida. And we were bellhops and we were sixty-five years old. It was so real it was really real, realistic. KEVIN And then what, you woke up in a puddle (cold sweat)? OTTO Fuck you! (drop dead) KEVIN Fucking (you) jerk. Otto stands up and starts to walk away. KEVIN Where you going asshole (snotnose)? OTTO Away from you. Otto gets off the Edge City #127 bus and comes home. Mom and Dad are watching TV NOTE Edge City, also the name of the film's production company, is a recurring theme in Tom Wolfe's "Electric Kool-Ade Acid Test". OTTO Mother, father. Got anything to eat? REVEREND LARRY Occasionally we get a letter from a viewer that says now the only reason Reverend Larry comes on your television set is because he wants your money. And do you know what? They're right! I do want your money. Because god wants your money. So I want you to go out and mortgage that home and sell that car and send me your money. You don't need that car. (continues in background) OTTO MOM Put it on a plate son you'll enjoy it more. OTTO I couldn't enjoy it any more mom MMM MMM MMM This is swell. OTTO Dad? Hey Dad? OTTO DAD What is it son? OTTO Do you remember that you once told me along time ago. Well not too long ago but ummm. That you told me that you'd give me a thousand dollars to go to Europe if I finish school. Well you know something? You were right. About finishing school that's ah that's what I'd like to do. But umm I want to know if I could have the money first. Like now. [You know I really love you Dad I've always loved you. You too mom. What do you say? OTTO DAD I don't have it anymore. OTTO What?] OTTO MOM You father gave all our extra money to the Reverend's telethon, Otto. OTTO Well what about me? OTTO DAD You're on the honor roll of the chariots of fire. Same as us, Otto. It was a gift. From all of us jointly. OTTO MOM We're sending bibles to El Salvador. Otto and Bud riding in Bud's car Jazz music plays on the radio. In almost all scenes inside of Bud's car, Jazz music will be playing on the radio. In this sequence the background changes from day to night, back to day, and back to night again (during the speed snorting scene) even though the dialog seems continuous. I believe that this was done intentionally to show the passage of time, but the disjointed events are cut so smoothly as to make it seem like they goofed the continuity. It's clearer in the TV version where there truly is a break between the line about speed and the actual snorting. OTTO So how much do I get paid, twenty-five buck a car. BUD Paid? You don't get paid. Are you kidding, you work on commission, that's better than getting paid. BUD Most cars you rip are worth two or three hundred dollars. Fifty thousand dollar Porsche (german pronounciation) might make ya five grand. BUD It helps if you dress like a detective, too. Detectives dress kind of square. People think this guy is a cop. They're going to think you're packing something. They don't fuck (mess) with you so much. OTTO Are you? BUD Am I what? OTTO Packin' something. BUD Ha. Only an asshole (a jackass) gets killed for a car. Guys who make it are the guys who get into their cars at anytime. Get in at three A.M. get up at four. That's why there ain't a repo man I know that don't take speed. OTTO Speed huh? Bud at payphone Bud is talking on phone. BUD I'll call you back! (hangs up) Flippin general telephone. Bud picks up phone and dials. Phone begins making a loud whining noise. Bud gets sledgehammer from car and destroys phone while Otto watches. When Bud is done, Otto gets crowbar from car and beats side of phone with it while laughing. BUD C'mon. Otto and Bud in car in alley (In the television version, this entire scene takes place while watching Bud's car drive down a road, but you can still hear the snorting in the background.) [BUD SNORTING A LINE Jesus Christ.] BUD Never broke into a car. Never hot-wired a car. Kid. I never broke into a trunk. I shall not cause harm to any vehicle nor the personal contents thereof. Nor through inaction let that vehicle or the personal contents thereof come to harm. That's what I call the repo code kid. Don't forget it etch it in your brain. Not many people got a code to live by anymore. BUD Hey! Hey look at that. Look at those assholes (that) over there. We see a group of people around a tow truck with a car being hooked up to it. BUD Ordinary people I hate 'em. OTTO Me too. BUD What do you know? See an ordinary person spend his life avoiding tense situations. Repoman spends his life getting into tense situations. ! Lets go get a drink. Otto and Bud in a store Bud sets 2 six packs of "drink" down on the counter. BUD Tense situations kid. Get into five or six of them a day and it don't mean shit (zilch) anymore. I mean I seen men stabbed and it didn't mean shit (zilch). I've seen guns. Guns too they don't mean shit (zilch) but that's when you got to watch your self. Here I'll handle it pal. Uh settle down. BUD Have a nice day. Or night. Night, day, it doesn't mean shit (zilch). Duke, Archie, and Debbi rise from behind counter as Otto and Bud leave. DUKE Wasn't that Otto? DEBBI Otto who? DUKE You gotta watch yourself. (takes off mask) Have a nice day . . . night. Parnell drives Malibu across bridge Otto and Bud in front of house with tow truck BUD This is what I call phase 2 ace. If the dealer don't have the keys, you call the truck. And it is a heartbreak to be sitting waiting for the truck and the giblet comes out and drives it away. Once you've got this baby on the hooks, she's all ours. Man comes out of house with shaving cream on face. PAKMAN Oh no you don't. I'm nipping this in the bud right now. You are not going to take this car. I know my rights. There is absolutely no way you're going to take it. BUD Uh, are you miss Luann Pakman? PAKMAN Obviously not. I'm Arthur Pakman. Luann is my daughter. Now you're going to have to take this matter up with her. BUD Well don't think I haven't tried, sir, but she hasn't had the decency to call us in months. I mean, I've skipped trace this car all over town. PAKMAN Well, uh, Luann is sick. Now the damn car isn't working anyway, and I know, I know that's why she hasn't paid you. BUD Well, she could have called us? Look, all you've go to do is call my branch manager, I will abide with whatever he says. Bud hands Pakman a business card. PAKMAN READING CARD I. G. Farben. . . What do you take me for, a moron? If I go in there, you're going to take this car away. BUD What, and lose my job? The law requires that I stay right here until you call my branch manager. PAKMAN That's the law? BUD That's the law. Pakman begins walking toward house. PAKMAN I'll be right back. Pakman goes inside and Bud and Otto leave with the car as Pakman comes running back out of the house. Otto and Bud driving down a waterway BUD There's going to be some bad shit (stuff) coming down one of these days kid. OTTO Oh yeah? Where you going to be? On the moon? BUD Ung Uh, I'm going to be right here heading north at a hundred and ten per. OTTO In this junker? The Rodriguez brothers pull up along side of them in a red convertible with black fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. Latino music plays on the radio. OTTO Cool car. BUD Uh Oh! The Rodriguez brothers. [Lagarto flips them off OTTO Motherfucker just flipped you off. BUD Roll the window down.] Roll the window down. LAGARTO A donde vas, pendejo? BUD A chingas tu esposa! A BROTHER Hey Bud, hey Bud, who's your new girlfriend? OTTO Watch it mother fucker. (Girlfriend? watch it melonfarmer!) LAGARTO Hey fuck you pussy punk. (flip you, you punk.) [OTTO Holy shit.] NAPOLEON Want me to take them? OTTO Wo! Hey! They chase each other and end up sliding out in a huge puddle. In one shot during the chase, Lagarto is missing from the passenger's seat. BUD God damn dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo punks. I'll get your ass! dang blamed dumb suck Rodriguez gypsy devil punks. I'll get your can!) OTTO HAHAHA WOW! That was intense. BUD Repo man's always intense. Come on let's go get a drink. OTTO Gee bud. You never told me it was going to be like this man. Cops and robbers. Hahahahah. Real live car chases. Hahahahah. Duke, Archie and Debbi leaving a liquor store they just robbed Archie has a bag over his head. Debbi accidentally fires gun into the air. ARCHIE Shit (shoot)! Debbi! DUKE If you say our names we'll have to kill all these people Archie. ARCHIE They all ran away. DEBBI Come on you douche bags. (come on, get the lead out.) They run out, Archie's bag flying off his head. Bud and Otto enter just after they leave. BUD Awful quiet in here. It's too quiet. OTTO So who are these Rodriguez boys. BUD Rodriguez brothers. Lagarto and Napoleon. Two notorious delinquents currently responsible for at least thirty vehicles in the field. Quick shot of Rodriguez brothers in car lot signing papers on a car. Although not made entirely clear in the movie, Lagarto and Napoleon apparently will buy an inexpensive car and pay for it in order to establish a good credit rating. Then they go out and buy nice cars and never make payments on them. Lite and Otto in Lite's car OTTO Scumbags LITE They ain't scumbags. They car thieves just like use. LITE There's Miss Magruder. You want to go for it? Lite hands Otto a bag. Otto looks inside and laughs. OTTO Good gag, you pull this one a lot? LITE Only on the women. It never fails. OTTO Excuse me? Miss Magruder? I have something here for you. Otto takes dead rat from bag and tosses it into Ms. Magruder's car MS. MAGRUDER Uhm how utterly charming. Ms. Magruder sprays Otto in the face with mace OTTO Ow! Ow! Ow! Motherfucker! (mother...) Ow! Ow! Ow! Christ! I'm blind man. Lite? Lite, where are you man? Otto and Bud outside a Laundromat BUD Ruthside Peason brokerage consultant. Fucking (flippin) millionaire six payments behind. I've never understood it. OTTO What's that? BUD The fucking (flippin) millionaires. They never pay their bills. See you at the yard. OTTO Let me get this one. BUD No. I'll handle this one. Mister Peason is carrying a permit for a pistol. Otto grabs the slimjim and gets out of the car BUD Hey! Hey! Hey! Give me that. OTTO Don't underestimate me ace. RUTHSIDE PEASON And also, naturally, I'd like them to be right next to each other. In addition I'd like them to be as close to the window as possible so I can sit in my car and watch my things. So all you have to do is take your clothes out of here like this and put them into a machine over there like that. Peason Sees Otto driving off with the car. RUTHSIDE PEASON Oh my god (lord)! Oh! Oh my god (lord)! Stop! Peason runs out door after car. Two kids grab Peason's clothes and throw them out the door. Otto driving the car, a red Cadillac Car radio plays Pablo Picasso. Otto sees Leila running on the sidewalk and slows down while watching her. OTTO Hey! Hey! You want a ride? Hey babe need a ride? Otto runs into some garbage cans, stops and gets out just as an old lady walks up. OLD LADY Pick it up! Look at you. You pick it up. You know yourself you were wrong. OTTO Well what were they doing out in the middle of the street? OLD LADY They weren't in the middle of the street. That not the middle of the street that's the corner. OLD LADY Go on you pick it up. OTTO What? OLD LADY You pick it up. OTTO Haha, no way. You still want a ride or what? OLD LADY No I don't. Leila and Otto drive off in the car OTTO My name is Otto. LEILA Leila. Is this your car? OTTO Yeah it's one of them. LEILA Heh, one of them? You think you're pretty slick don't ya? I bet you're a used car salesman. OTTO I am not. LEILA You dress like one. OTTO I'm a repo man. LEILA What's that? OTTO It's a repossesser. I take back cars from dildos (deadbeats) who don't pay their bills. Cool huh? Hombre Secreto plays on car radio. LEILA No. Leila hides as a car with two men pulls up next to them OTTO What are you doing? LEILA Those men in the car next to us don't look at them. Don't look at them! If they see me they'll kill me. OTTO Really why? OTTO Ow! What the hell are you doing? OTTO What's going on? LEILA Take a look at this. Leila shows Otto a picture of condoms, filled with water and wearing grass skirts. We notice that she is wearing a yellow happy face watch. OTTO What's this? It looks like sausage. LEILA It isn't sausage Otto. That's a picture of four dead aliens. OTTO HAHAHAH LEILA Laugh away fuckface (fatface) that picture is going to be on the cover of ever major newspaper in two days time. OTTO How do you know that? LEILA Part of a secret network. A scientist who is also in our secret sect smuggled the corpses off of this air force base. Now he's got them in the truck of his car. It's a Chevy Malibu. We've got to find him. OTTO What are you going to do with them, put them on Johnny Carson? LEILA Yes! We're going to have a press conference and tell the world. RADIO Ehw. What's that? I don't know dear. But it is alive. It seems friendly though. Aw look it's curled up. How cute oh no. Maybe we can take it home it doesn't seem to have any. Oh yes let's. But no! No matter how appealing do not let strange creature in you house. We all know strange creatures are on the increase. Many of them do seem furry and adorable, but beware we don't know from whence they came. Be safe. Be safe. Report strange incidences today. (continues in background) They pull up in front of a building OTTO United fruitcake outlet. LEILA My door doesn't open. Otto lets Leila out LEILA Thanks for the ride. As Leila stands there, we notice she has a yellow happy face pin on her dress. OTTO Sure Ummm I don't know. what do you think? Ah want to go out with me again sometime? LEILA I don't know. I'm going to be kind of busy with work, the Malibu and everything. OTTO Hey great. Terrific. Here's your shit (stuff). LEILA What's your problem? I mean girls might like you if you lightened up a little bit. OTTO Fuck (Flip me). Girls pay to go out with me. All right? LEILA You wanna get back in the car? OTTO What, here? LEILA Yeah. Squeals are heard from the back seat of the car Back at the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation OLY Twenty thousand dollars for a Chevy Malibu? OLY Who's double X finance? MARLENE Store front operation, but the money is in escrow. MARLENE Want me to notify the boys? OLY Uh, naw. They're always bitching (crying) about their case load. I think I'll go out for a while. MARLENE Why? We out of beer? OLY Somebody has to work around here. Keep making me money kid. OTTO Fuck (flip) you. Otto and Lite out in the field LITE Man we've been looking for this little red devil for a long time. Just act natural. Nobody knows if it's your car or somebody elses car. LITE Now you work with that. You give it a try. All right? LITE Let me give you a hand we don't have a whole year to find it boy. OTTO Got it. They slimjim the car and get in LITE Lets get out of here. Put your seat belt on. LITE Put your seat belt on boy! I don't ride with anybody unless they wear their seatbelt. It's one of my rules. Otto, going through Lite's briefcase, picks up gun. LITE Put that damn gun down boy. It ain't no toy. Driving away in the car LITE I walk into someone's place of work. They shit (plum) scared. They know I'm not a cop. They think I've come to kill 'em and I would. I'd kill anybody who crosses me. You know what I mean? Otto goes through glove compartment, puts on pair of sunglasses he finds there (reference to the movie Kings of the Road with cinematography by Robby Mueller). Lite puts a lighter to the cigarette in his mouth, but fails to light it. A few moments later he does it again and succeeds in getting it lit. LITE Do you like music? OTTO Sure. LITE In that case you're going love this. Lite puts cassette in player. Lite's Theme starts playing. LITE I was into these dudes before anybody. Partied with them all the time. Asked me to be their manager. I called bullshit (no way) on that. Managing a pop group hey that ain't no job for no man. Otto sees boxes wrapped in ribbons in back seat and hands one to Lite who throws it out window. A car runs over box and we see that it is full of money. Otto continues throwing boxes out of the window. LITE You read that book I gave you? OTTO What book? LITE Dioretix. Science of matter over mind. OTTO Unh uhg LITE You'd better read it and quick. That book will change your life. Found it in a Maseratti in Beverly hills. Otto and Miller in vacant lot under bridge MILLER A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidences and things. They don't realize that there's this like lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. I'll Give you an example, show you what I mean. Suppose you thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like plate or shrimp or plate of shrimp out of the blue no explanation. No point in looking for one either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness. OTTO You eat a lot of acid Miller, back in the hippie days? MILLER I'll give you another instance. You know the way everybody's into weirdness right now. Books in all the supermarkets about Bermuda triangles, UFO's, how the Mayans invented television. That kind of thing. OTTO I don't read them books. MILLER Well the way I see it it's exactly the same. There ain't no difference between a flying saucer and a time machine. People get so hung up on specifics. They miss out on seeing the whole thing. Take South America for example. In South America thousands of people go missing every year. Nobody knows where they go. They just like disappear. But if you think about it for a minute, you realize something. There had to be a time when there was no people. Right? OTTO Yeah. I guess. MILLER Well where did all these people come from? hmmm? I'll tell you where. The future. Where did all these people disappear to? hmmm? OTTO The past? MILLER That's right and how did they get there? OTTO How the fuck (hell) do I know? MILLER Flying saucers. Which are really? Yeah you got it. Time machines. I think a lot about this kind of stuff. I do my best thinking on the bus. That how come I don't drive, see? OTTO You don't even know how to drive. MILLER I don't want to know how. I don't want to learn. See? The more you drive, the less intelligent you are. In Bud's car driving through a tunnel BUD You know I think I saw one of those things once. One of those UFOs. I mean it was really it was kind of kind of scary. I saw all these colored lights and, uh, sounds. I mean sounds and lights like I never heard before. I mean it was really weird. OTTO Bud. BUD Yeah? OTTO Do you think all repo men follow the code? BUD Of course. Well I mean you see a lot of fucked (messed) up cars come in but...99 time out of 100 it was the customer who fucked (mucked) them up. Assholes (Damn fools). Bud in phone booth outside the Rodriguez brothers' apartment. BUD I'm offering a thousands dollars for his Falcon. You know what that is Napoleon? It's a bribe. NAPOLEON Who the hell is this? Napoleon? Who the fuck (hell) are you calling? BUD It's a grand if you show me where his car is Napoleon. [NAPOLEON Ahh. Go fuck yourself asshole.] BUD Hello? Prick (Jerk). Inside the Rodriguez brothers' place, Napoleon looking at repo sheet on Malibu, which Marlene brought to them. NAPOLEON Sixty-four Chevy Malibu. Twenty grand. BUD Waiting! NAPOLEON We could buy ten of them for that, Marlene. MARLENE Think you can find it now? BUD IN THE STREET I'm not going anywhere. NAPOLEON Now how come this junk is worth so much? What's in it? Drugs? BUD IN THE STREET Got all night amigo! LAGARTO Los Hermanos Rodriguez don't approve of drugs. MARLENE Neither do I, but it's my birthday. BUD IN THE STREET I'm going to get your . [MARLENE That motherfucker's still down there.] Bud in the street in front of the Rodriguez brother's house BUD Don't care how long it takes, dildos (jerks). Repo man's got all night every night. Brothers make paper airplane of repo sheet and float it down to Bud. Bud picks it up and reads it. BUD twenty thousand dollars. Agent Rogersz listening to Leila and Otto on the phone OTTO Hey Leila! All right, um, this is Otto. The guy who gave you a ride and stuff. I heard something about that car. Leila and Otto at the United Fruitcake Outlet Leila takes Otto into a cinderblock room which has a neon sculpture on the wall and in the center of the room, standing on a pedestal, is a humorous statue of what could be a humanoid type alien. LEILA Otto. Otto stop. You said you had something to tell me. LEILA Otto? Otto! OTTO Huh? LEILA What did you want to tell me? OTTO Oh! Take off your clothes. LEILA I'm at work, Otto! OTTO Oh yeah? Me too. LEILA Your work is different than mine. OTTO Says who? Otto takes down his pants (according to the filmmakers, Estevez enjoyed doing this on a regular basis. Maybe they were just joking?). LEILA What are you doing.? Don't do that. [OTTO Well the least you could do is give me a blow job. Leila slaps Otto OTTO Heh, I guess that means no.] DEADRA Leila? We have a cell meeting in two minutes time. LEILA Thanks Deadra. I'll be right there. Bud and Lite parked in their cars side by side BUD See that motherfucker (melonfarmer) only thinks I don't know what's going on, Lite. As soon as I find that Chevy I'm going indy. I'm going to buy myself a tow truck, a couple of pitbulls, and run a yard. Sit around and watch everybody else do the work for a while (change). Lite lights up a roach. LITE No way you can do that on twenty grand man. BUD The hell I can as long as you have good credit and my credit is spotless. The hell I can't, as long as your credit record's good and mine is spotless.) LITE If I find the Malibu, you won't see me for dust, I'm going to move to Mendecino County, raise me a bumper crop of tomato plants. Bud and Otto in a car BUD Credit is a sacred trust. It's what our free society is founded on. You think they give a damn about their bills in Russia? I said do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia? OTTO They don't pay bills in Russia. It's all free. BUD All free? Free my ass, what are you a fucking (flippin) commie? Huh? OTTO No I ain't no commie. BUD Well you'd better not be I don't want any commies in my car. No Christians either. Chevy Malibu exits car wash and pulls up to gas pumps. That's director Alex Cox wiping the car as it pulls away from the car wash and over to the pumps. The pumps at the gas station say "Pace Gas". Next to the pump is a campaign poster for Harry Pace, running for City Council. These posters appear elsewhere in the film. In his posters, Harry Pace has a happy face. KEVIN I'll deal with you later. I've got a customer to attend to. You too. Kevin walks over to Malibu. KEVIN Hi! I'm Kevin. Vacuum sir? KEVIN Need a vacuum sir? Parnell runs fingers through hair and pulls out a clump. J. FRANK PARNELL Have you any machines? KEVIN You don't want to eat from a machine. Look, there's a nice Del Taco across the street. They've got enchurritos and everything. J. FRANK PARNELL But I do want to eat from a machine. Vended food contains all the necessary nutrients for survival. Taste damn good too, by golly. And plus, on any given evening, the machine that last night gave you cheetos might dispense instead... Doritos. Yohos. Oreos. Tosquitos (tostitos?). Or Lorna Doones. KEVIN Lorna Doones? I love Lorna Doones. Parnell walks off screen and we hear puking sounds. KEVIN Oh hey! You want me to check the trunk? Scuze me. Lagarto and Napoleon pull up in a car one other side of pumps. Latino music plays on their car radio. KEVIN Hi! I'm Kevin! NAPOLEON Hey buddy! How you doing? Huh? Hey don't you remember me? I was here yesterday. Heh. Listen I think I left a book of matches over in your office over there. You want to go and check for me huh? KEVIN Sure thing. NAPOLEON Hey thanks a lot buddy. KEVIN Any thing for you babes. NAPOLEON All right, you're beautiful. I love you. KEVIN I'll be right back. Lagarto gets in the Malibu and both cars drive off. Kevin returns from inside and sees both cars gone. Two other attendants sit at a table and also look; the attendant on the right is director Alex Cox. KEVIN What?? Shot of car driving down freeway, passed by several motorcycles. Otto and Mrs. Parks in Mrs. Parks' living room OTTO It's really very simple Mrs. Parks. You don't want me to take your car and I don't want to take your car. Now I said to the boss I said ah Look! I do not want to repossess this lady's car. Sound of motorcycles pulling up outside of house. MRS. PARKS Well I've been in the hospital you see. OTTO Yeah, Yes I understand. My job is really on the line over this one. I could lose it right away. MRS. PARKS I'll see if I can borrow some money from somewhere. OTTO That's terrific. Really terrific. Mrs. Park's son and his fellow band members enter MRS. PARKS Oh how was the rehearsal son? MRS. PARKS' SON It was O.K. Who's this? MRS. PARKS Oh this is Mr. Otto. He's from the finance company. He's been telling me that he isn't going to take the car this time, even though he could. OTTO Well, uh, gotta get going here. Otto fumbles nervously with his briefcase trying to close it. MRS. PARKS Did you like the tea? OTTO The tea? MRS. PARKS Uh huh? OTTO Yeah, it was terrific. OTTO Thank you MRS. PARKS You're welcome. OTTO Uh excuse me. Otto walks outside and gets in car. From outside we hear Mrs. Parks yelling at her son. MRS. PARKS I gave you the money last week to pay it and you didn't do it. What did you do with it? I'm so tired of giving you money and you squandering it. I know what you done you all went out dancing some where. That's what you did. Next time I give you some money I want you to put it in the car ya hear. You're working. How come you didn't do it huh? I don't know what's happened to you. (continues softly) Otto starts car and guns engine, but now we clearly see that the rear wheels are up on jacks (that it wasn't up on jacks before has been listed as a goof and even confirmed by Alex Cox, but I think they're wrong. It is hard to tell in the dark, but you can see the base of one of the jacks lit up by a light from the house which goes dark as a band member runs in front of it on the other side of the car, thus confirming that the car actually was up on jacks in all the scenes). Band members run out of house and pull Otto out of car. OTTO Hey it's cool. It's cool. I like music too man, hey Otto gets beat up. One band member hits him twice over the head with a guitar, making an audible "kabong" noise. Supposedly you can hear one member saying "this one's for Keith Moon", but I've never been able to make it out. Miller, Plettschner and Otto in the lot. Miller is chanting and dancing like a native American as he puts a bandage on Otto's head. PLETTSCHNER Some people aren't cut out to be repo men. Why don't you smarten up kid? OTTO Fuck (flip) you Plettschner! OWW! OWW! PLETTSCHNER Don't you say fuck (flip) you to me. Don't you know who I am? OTTO Yeah you're Plettschner. PLETTSCHNER You're fucking (flippin) right I'm Plettschner. Otto Plettschner. Three times decorated in two world wars. I was killing people while you were still swimming around in your father's balls (guts). You little scum bag! I worked five years in a slaughter house and ten years as a prison guard in Attica. OTTO So what? PLETTSCHNER So what? So never say fuck (flip) you to me. Because you haven't earn the rights yet. Lite enters LITE Hey kid I need a contract driver. PLETTSCHNER See what I mean punk? OTTO Fuck (flip) you! PLETTSCHNER Fuck you! (What!) You little scumbag. LITE Shut up, Phlettschner. PLETTSCHNER Don't you ever tell me to shut up. Lagarto and Napoleon in the Malibu They pull up in front of a diner. NAPOLEON Shit (shoot)! (?)! It's too hot in here man. What the hell's going on? So fucking (flippin) hot I think that shit in the trunk is going to melt. I think we better take a look, all right? LAGARTO Go get us two sodas. NAPOLEON All right, as soon as I check the trunk. LAGARTO We're just the mules, comprende? (Andale')... Lagarto calls Marlene from phone booth. A sign in the window of the diner behind him says "2.95 Plate O-Shrimp Luncheon Special". MARLENE Helping hand. LAGARTO Marlene! We've found the car. Archie, Duke, and Debbie exit a window and go down a fire escape [dropping armloads of pills as they go]. Behind them, a sign says "Fox & Mac Taggert Pharmaceutical Company". DUKE Come on you guys! DUKE Get the lead out. DEBBI Stop pushing Duke. [ARCHIE My medication. Aw man! DUKE Aw be cool dude we got more. ARCHIE Come on. Come on. da-dee-dee-dee-dah-dah dee-dee... (continues to the tune of The Ride of the Valkyries) Lagarto on the phone with Marlene LAGARTO Yeah well that's not the only thing Marlene. This car is hot. MARLENE What do you mean? Stolen? LAGARTO No. No I mean it's hot really hot. MARLENE Hot? LAGARTO Yeah, we're sweating like pigs man. MARLENE I got the papers. Where is the car from? LAGARTO It's from someplace. Ah Roswell, New Mexico Archie and Duke run by the Malibu. Debbie stops, whistles and gets in the car. Archie and Duke jump in and they drive off to the sound of a Latino version of The Ride of the Valkyries. Lagarto walks out of the phone booth just as this is happening and drops his clipboard in disgust. Napolean walks out of the store, silently hands Lagarto a soda, and they both stand there and sip their drinks through straws. Otto and Lite in a car The music from Bad Man is playing on the tape deck in Lite's car. LITE Me fight in a war man? Fuck (hell) no way! Nobody's got to do that shit. Not in this country. A new I.D. don't cost no more than a pink slip. You know what I mean? LITE Something wrong? OTTO You know Marlene? Man she's pretty hot. LITE Otto my man. I jumped on that action from day one. I found out where she was coming from. OTTO See ya back at the yard. LITE Have fun. Otto slimjims car and tries to start it. While bending down, window shatters from gunshot. OTTO Oh shit (damn). Holy shit (smoke). Lite! . Lite! Lite! Lite! Lite! Open the door. There's a maniac in there. What are you doing? Open the door man! What are you doing? What are you doing? Open the door. Lite! Lite gets out and starts shooting back. He fires 9 times (one or two of the shots doesn't flash like the others). LITE You're still on the job white boy. Get in the car. OTTO Open the door man, open the door. Open the door Lite. LITE Get in the car. OTTO Jesus Christ. (Holy cripes.) Lite and Otto in a field OTTO You're crazy Lite. I mean you can't just shoot into peoples houses. I mean maybe you shot the guy. LITE So what if I did? OTTO Well I don't know I mean that's pretty severe. Lite shoots the gun at Otto's feet. Otto drops his beer, getting some on his pants. OTTO Jesus Christ. (Holy cripes!) LITE Hey! Blanks get the job done too. OTTO You repo men, you guys are all out to fuckin (flippin) lunch. Let's get out of here. Leila and J. Frank Parnell on pay phones Leila on phone hears garbled sounds on receiver. LEILA Hello. Is it you? This is Leila. Are you using a scrambler? J. FRANK PARNELL I can't hear you. I'm using the scrambler. LEILA (garbled noises in background) Look out! J. FRANK PARNELL What? A car swerves into the phone booth, then crosses street and hits a fire hydrant. The agents are trapped inside by the airbags. More agents appear and chase Leila AGENT Happy face! You want a ride? In Agent Rogersz van An agent types while eating potato chips. The camera pans across the van to Agents Rogersz, who is watching a monitor which shows Leila being questioned LEILA What do you want from me? AGENT We ask the questions. LEILA You're not going to torture me are you? LEILA Torture you? What for? LEILA To find out what I know. I'd torture someone in a second if it was up to me. AGENT Huh? Why are you looking for the Malibu? LEILA Because of the trunk. The aliens inside. AGENT Illegal aliens? LEILA No, Silly, Extraterrestrials. AGENT Ahhh, heh. Did you ever think about joining the CIA? LEILA Um. I going to have to ask my boyfriend. AGENT Boyfriend?? Rogersz computer screen prints up the following information SUBJECT Otto Maddox GENDER male RACE Caucasian AGE 21 CORRECTION 18 A party at the Helping Hand yard EVERYBODY Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all the way. Oh what fun OTTO What's going on? MARLENE Oh. The usual. PLETTSCHNER Marlene! How you doing baby? OLY Jesus (Golly) who done that to yeah son? OTTO Who done what? PLETTSCHNER Who done what he says. You want to talk about guts. What did you do to your face kid? OTTO Oh some dude it doesn't matter. LITE Oh yes it does. MARLENE Why don't you do something Plettschner? Aren't you a cop or something? PLETTSCHNER Hey Marlene. I'm on my coffee break. BUD Repo man don't go running to the man Marlene. A repo man goes at it alone. LITE Yes sirree bob. MARLENE Just like John Wayne. OLY Damn right just like John Wayne what's wrong about that? PLETTSCHNER Greatest American that ever lived. MILLER John Wayne was a fag (freak). BUD What did you say man? PLETTSCHNER Whaa? OLY What? [MILLER John Wayne was a fag.] EVERYONE The hell he was. MILLER He was too you boys. I installed two way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. And he'd come to the door in a dress. PLETTSCHNER Ah, you're fucking (flippin) nuts. OLY That doesn't mean he was a homo (freak), Miller. Lotta straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck (play). I know I do. BUD They do? PLETTSCHNER Yeah. OLY Don't you? PLETTSCHNER Damn straight I do. LITE Fuck (Damn) John Wayne man. Tell us his name you little pussy (sissy). OTTO Kiss off you asshole (airhead). OTTO Ow you bastards (loonies)! BUD Hey take it easy. Take it easy. The guys head is hurt. OLY This is too personal sonny. The thing is a repo man got beat up in the line of duty. Now it doesn't matter that that man was you. What really matters is that the guy that did it has got to pay the price. Now stop being selfish and tell us his name. LITE Come on. OTTO Ahh Oww You bastard (buzzard). OTTO All right! All right! All right! All right! O.K. his name was... The repo men in the front of Mr. Humphries's house They ring the bell and Mr. Humphries opens the door. In the background, we can just barely see Kevin, who appears to be in his pajamas. This is never explained in the movie. OLY Mr. Humphries? MR. HUMPHRIES Yes? Yes I'm Mr. Humphries. What do you want? Ungghhh... Repo Men beat up Mr. Humphries. At the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation office T.V. The president admitted that U.S. war planes have napalmed refugees camps in Southern Mexico. He explained that these camps were in fact guerrilla bases. In strife torn Guatemala shots were fires at the U.S. embassy and government troops retaliated killing 50... (continues in background) MARLENE Helping hand acceptance corporation. Marlene speaking. LEILA Hello, is Otto there? MARLENE It's for you. A girl. OTTO Yeah. LEILA Hi Otto? It's Leila. OTTO Leila who? In a bar. Duke, Archie, and Debbie enter the bar, checking their weapons at the door. The Circle Jerks are on stage playing When the Shit Hits the Fan. OTTO I can't believe I used to like these guys. AGENT ROGERSZ Listen to me! For the sake of this and future generations you must tell us everything you know. OTTO Yeah. Sure. I need another drink. LEILA Otto, these aliens aren't on ice or anything. They could be starting to decay. We've got to find them before they turn into mush. DUKE Well! Well! Well! If it ain't the repo man. ARCHIE You look like shit (snot) you wankers (weirdos). OTTO Duke. Debbi. Archie. I'd like you to meet Leila and her weird friend. DUKE How you doing, asshole (airhead)? ARCHIE How come you don't hang out with your friends no more? [OTTO What friends? DUKE Want some toot dude? Duke spills his bottle of generic Butyl Nitrate on the table. Debbie and Archie yell and put their noses to the table to sniff it all up. DUKE I really love ya man. You're my best friend. Because you always fucking came to see me while I was in Juvie. OTTO I'm busy man. I told ya I was working. DEBBI Look a metal hand. ARCHIE Cool! DEBBI Can we feel it? ARCHIE Oh Chante.] DUKE Fuck (flip) this let's go do some crimes. [ARCHIE Adios butthole.] LEILA Charming friends you got there Otto. OTTO Thanks, I made'um myself. Debbi, Archie and Duke leave to find J. Frank Parnell breaking into the Malibu DEBBI Hey what you doing with our car? J. FRANK PARNELL Your car? ARCHIE Yeah! J. FRANK PARNELL Are you sure? This looks like my car. Are there pecan pies in the back seat? ARCHIE Not any more. We ate 'em. DUKE Shut up Archie. ARCHIE You shut up. DUKE You're still here? J. FRANK PARNELL My car looks just like this. But this is yours, your car? ARCHIE Yeah four eyes. J. FRANK PARNELL Of course...what's in the trunk? DUKE What do you mean? J. FRANK PARNELL You don't even know what's in your own trunk. DEBBI Kill him Duke! J. FRANK PARNELL You know what? I think you're afraid to find out. DEBBI Kill him. ARCHIE Come on Duke you putty butt, kill him. DUKE I aint afraid of nothing see. J. FRANK PARNELL It's all right I don't blame you for being afraid. DUKE I said I ain't afraid of nothing. I kill people like you. J. FRANK PARNELL Oh well. I guess you're right. It's better not to look. J. FRANK PARNELL Beautiful evening. You can almost see the stars. ARCHIE Oh shut up. Duh. He's going to open it. HAHAHA DUKE Ah. ARCHIE Come on Duke. Duke burns his hand on the trunk and wraps a handkerchief around it. DUKE This thing is hot. ARCHIE AWWW, heh heh heh DEBBIE Well we don't have all night. Duke opens the trunk a little and a bright light is emitted. Debbi pushes him away. DEBBI Close it Duke! No! No! ARCHIE Aw. Dukie Wookie hurt his wittle hand. DUKE Fuck (flip) you Archie! Just for that your not in the gang any more. ARCHIE I'm taking over now. DEBBI Oh leave it off. ARCHIE King Archie the invincible. DEBBIE Shut up Archie. ARCHIE Hey Debbi! Watch this. Archie opens the trunk and is disintegrated J. FRANK PARNELL Oh dear, what a shame. DEBBIE Come on duke let's go do those crimes. DUKE Yeah. Yeah. Let's go get Sushi and, and not pay. Napoleon and Lagarto in a car pull up along side of J. Frank Parnell driving the Malibu NAPOLEON Hey! Yo! Hey buddy! NAPOLEON Special deputies pull over. Special deputies pull over. Hey! The Helping Hand repo men in a car [OLY So the department says the ice broke and he fell in. BUD Look at these people man there's one person in each car. City wants up to car pool but nobody gives a shit. MILLER People car pool, we'd be out of work. LITE AWW bullshit! OLY How come that pig's got a wooden leg? Well said the farmer said about three months ago I was out there walking the pig. MILLER Look at that car.] LITE Hey Budsky. There's your Girlfriend. BUD Aww! Those Rodriguez brothers Humm? O.K., boys, we've got the whole team here tonight lets settle these motherfucker's (melonfarmers) hash for good. LITE Let's do it. [NAPOLEON Yo! Pull over. LAGARTO Meda Bud. Shit!] NAPOLEON Don't lose him man. Bud rams into the Rodriguez brothers' car while the Malibu drives off with a noticable green glow coming from inside. PLETTSCHNER Hey! Hey! Take it easy. Stop this car. Hey come on. Come on. The Rodriguez brothers are forced into a parking garage and eventually have to stop the car NAPOLEON Come on! Come on! What are you going to do with that bat? What? Huh? What? LAGARTO Hey! Hey! Hey! LAGARTO You bad bud. This is going to cost you plenty. BUD What do you mean its going to cost me plenty? LAGARTO How's your neck Napoleon? NAPOLEON Oh my neck? Yeah! Oh! my neck is killing me man. I think I got whiplash. LAGARTO Aside from whiplash, this isn't a repo car. [BUD Bullshit! I got the fucking papers on it.] LAGARTO We paid it off. You see, uh this is our favorite car. NAPOLEON Yeah that's right. You got insurance ? Bud goes after them with a bat but the rest hold him back. BUD Come on . Whose side are you on ? Let me go . Back at the Helping Hand office . Plettschner is sitting in a corner knitting. A television set on Oly's desk is playing the video "Elephant Parts" with Mike Nesmith. ov BUD This is bullshit (hokum) Oly. OLY Yeah Yeah that's what I said when the marshal woke me up at 4 o'clock this morning . Unfortunately it isn't bullshit (hokum), it's a summons. BUD You should have refused to accept it. OLY Have you read it? The goddamn (gol-durn) Rodriguez brothers are suing us for malicious damage, medical expenses and harassment for a car they fucking (flippin) own. BUD The Rodriguez brothers. But. Ha! You believe the fucking (flippin) Rodriguez brothers? They're a couple of scumbags Oly. You know that? OLY I know that bud. But we've got to sit down and get our stories straight. BUD Bullshit (Hogwash) you're taking their word against mine. OLY I was there remember? Why don't you go home? Take the rest of the week off. BUD Take the rest of the? I can't take the rest of the...OW yeah! I Un Huh I get it. Take the flippin rest of the week off budsky. So you can get the flippin twenty thousand dollars for the Malibu. OLY Make it a fucking (flippin) month. BUD Yeah? Well fuck (flip) you. OLY On second though Budsky. Don't bother coming back at all. BUD Great! I'll come back and pick up my stuff later when the fucking (flippin) place don't stink so bad. PLETTSCHNER Ha! Ha! Ha! OLY Shut up! Bud and Otto in Bud's car Otto is driving the car. BUD . Makes you wonder how much they owe. Most of them are on the run. Don't even use their fucking (flippin) social security numbers. If there was just some way to find out how much the motherfuckers (melonfarmers) owe and making them pay. OTTO Jesus Christ (Holy cow) bud. They're winos, they don't have any money. You think they'd be bums if they did? BUD You want out? Do ya? OTTO No! BUD What's a matter with you? Don't you like your job anymore? Not too happy in your job? I mean I feel like were not communicating any more. When we first started out I though I could teach you something share something with you for Christ's sake. Answer me! Otto gets out and walks down street. Passes agents picking up dead body. AGENT (heard in background) I'm picking up the dead. I'm putting my hands around this dead body. I'm, I'm carrying his limp torso to the truck. And he feels like like he has only been dead a little while but... Otto sees the Malibu and gives chase. Losing the car, he stops on a bridge to puke. When done, he sees the Malibu emerge from under the bridge. He runs down the stairs and after the Malibu as it goes through a railroad crossing which has red lights blinking and bell ringing. J. Frank Parnell stops and lets him in. J. FRANK PARNELL (holds out hand) J. Frank Parnell. OTTO ott, ott... J. FRANK PARNELL What line of work you in? OTTO re, re, re.. J. FRANK PARNELL Rock'n'roller, eh!? I used to be a musician myself, college days. Of course it was folk songs and protest songs back then. (begins singing, badly) We shall overcome, we shall overcome... Otto coughs. J. FRANK PARNELL (stops singing and scratches ear) Did you ever feel as if your mind had started to erode? OTTO No. J. FRANK PARNELL Ever been to Utah? OTTO Nuh-uh J. FRANK PARNELL I go to Utah every year. Friend of mine, was a designer of the MX missile race track basing mode. A hundred thousand miles of railroad track on a big loop through Utah, Arizona, and Nevada. Bombs were going to hide in locomotive sheds. That way the red team would never know exactly where they were. I still go out to Utah, just to think about the way things might have been. OTTO Sir. I represent the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation. J. FRANK PARNELL Radiation, yes indeed! You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-boxed do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense! Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have 'em too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was literally a-burst. The next day nothing. Swept away... But I showed them. I had a lobotomy in the end. OTTO Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies? J. FRANK PARNELL Not at all. A friend of mine had one. Designer of the neutron bomb. Ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people. Leaves buildings standing. It fits in a suit case. It's so small no one knows it's there until blammo. Eyes melt skin explodes everybody dead. It's so immoral working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again. OTTO What kind of car does your... does your friend drive? J. FRANK PARNELL Chevy Malibu. OTTO And you do the same type of work? J. FRANK PARNELL Didn't I tell you? I can't tell you what I do. I'm classified. OTTO This is really a nice old car. Why don't you let me drive? J. FRANK PARNELL What do you mean? OTTO Well I don't know. I mean...uh! Don't you feel funny.? J. FRANK PARNELL Why should I feel funny? The two hemispheres are fundamentally at odds. Hemisphere, Hemisphere. You know it's strange. I do feel funny... J. Frank Parnell passes out at the wheel and drives into the sign at another railroad crossing. Otto dumps him and drives off with the Malibu. The helping hand crew at Miller's with their wives OLY By the way kid, sign this. OTTO What is this? OLY Equity turnover. Standard practice. Protects you in case we get sued. . . Don't read the damn thing, kid, just sign it. Miller has a camera and the flash goes off as he accidentally takes a picture of himself. REPO WIFE 1 Here's the young new-waver we've all heard so much about. REPO WIFE 2 My old man had a mohawk on him when I met him. He was in the service then. OLY He signed it over to me. But he didn't realize- REPO WIFE 2 My old man was such a monster. I used to have to tell him no. REPO WIFE 1 My old man was exactly the same way until we got married. LITE Hey Oly. You're wife's hanging all over Otto. OLY Yeah. Like flies on shit (spit). OTTO Um. Have you see uh bud anywhere? REPO WIFE 1 Who? Bud and Otto in office TV ...another wonderful Christian opportunity. The Reverend Larry... BUD Hey there hero. Get the money yet? OTTO Not yet. Oly's going to get it for me though. I just signed the papers. BUD Whu, what do you mean, what papers? OTTO Beats me, just some, uh, contract or something. BUD Didn't you read it? OTTO Well, no, just, uh, standard practice, uh, contract... BUD Melonfarmer Oly! ...oooh, shoot. OTTO What, is that not a happening deal? Bud breaks into the lot. Later, he picks up Otto BUD Hey ace. Wait up. OTTO So you want to talk about it? BUD Talk about what kid? OTTO Why you're so damn mad at me? BUD I'm not mad at you. damn. I'm not. I'm not mad at you. OTTO All right O.K. Duke and Debbie in car in front of a liquor store [DUKE Debbie? DEBBIE What? DUKE I've been thinking. Now that we've got some money and Archie's gone, don't you think it's time we we settle down? Get a little house. I want you to have my baby. DEBBIE Why? DUKE Well I don't know. Every body does it. And it just seems like the thing to do and... DEBBI Asshole.] DUKE Let's go do the job. Bud and Otto are at the counter. Duke and Debbi enter waving guns. OTTO Duke! Debbie! What what are you guys doing here? DUKE What's it look like ace? DEBBIE Up against the wall. DUKE I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill everybody. ha-ha-ha Bud sneaks his gun out. Louie sees him from down an aisle. LOUIE Drop it motherfucker (melonfarmer). Louie now sees the others with the guns. Bud waves his back and forth. Debbi shoots Bud in the head. BUD Oww shit (shoot). Duke shoots Louie. Louie goes down but manages to shoot Duke, but then is out of bullets. Duke walks over to Louie to finish the job, but the counterman pulls out a shotgun and shoots Duke. Debbie shoots the counterman. Now only Debbie and Otto are left standing. OTTO Debbie Ah. Ah Do You, uh, do you think it's too late uh for us to get romantically involved? DEBBIE I think a little. OTTO Wait! Wait! Stick with me. I'll make you a repo wife. DEBBI Bollocks. Here. (tosses Otto a bag of popcorn) DUKE Otto? OTTO Yeah I'm here man. DUKE The lights are growing dim. I know a life of crime led me to this sorry fate. And yet I I blame society. Society made me what I am. OTTO That's bullshit (nonsense). You're a white suburban punk, just like me. DUKE But it still hurts. OTTO You're going to be all right man Duke pukes up some blood. OTTO Maybe not. Agents photographing a dead J. Frank Parnell One of these agents is Jimmy Buffet, who was working with Mike Nesmith at the time the film was made. AGENT Yep he's dead all right. AGENT No doubt about it. AGENT He's a goner. AGENT Man. AGENT ROGERSZ Don't touch the body, don't touch the body. AGENT Sorry. AGENT Telephone call for you agent. AGENT ROGERSZ Don't bother me now. AGENT But Agent Rogersz, it's the Gipper. AGENT Look. AGENT Booth's setting him on fire Otto enters Parents living room Parents are covered with cobwebs and watching TV. REVEREND LARRY ON TV ...fail to register for patriotic chores. So, please call this toll free number. Praise the lord. There is no redemption for the unredeemed, no escape for the fair weather patriots. No salvation from the boiling blistering fires of eternal damnation. Now these are the end times. Because in these days there shall be hell in time. Man shall be lovers of their own self rather than lovers of God. OTTO'S DAD Haven't seen you in a while, Son. TV No escape... OTTO'S MOM Some men were just here looking for you, Otto. TV No salvation from the blistering files of eternal damnation. For in these days there shall be hell in time, there shall be war and more war, and earthquakes in diverse places... OTTO What kind of men? OTTO'S MOM Very nice young men. They wore sunglasses. OTTO Well, what did you tell them? Did you tell them I was sick? OTTO'S DAD We told them the truth, son. Gave them your address at work. TV Money shall run out and the people will line up at the banks and there won't be anything . . . these prophecies are in your bible. The same one that you have in your home. Now I want you to get up off of your sofa and put that beer down and go wherever it is in your house pick up that book and turn with me... Otto turns off TV and leaves. Otto returns to the Helping Hand Yard and sees an argument going on in the office AGENT Where's the car baby? That Chevy Malibu baby. Where's the car? PLETTSCHNER Otto! OTTO Jeeze. PLETTSCHNER You got to stay out of this. OTTO Why? PLETTSCHNER It's none of your business. You want to be a hero? Or would you rather be a chicken man? OTTO What? PLETTSCHNER A chicken man. Did you ever see a farmer's wife? Huh? OTTO Let go of me! [PLETTSCHNER It's peaceful man.] Inside the Helping hand office AGENT 1 The Malibu. AGENT 2 Yeah? Otto enters and Marlene uses the distraction to kick the shit out of the agents. MARLENE Let's go OTTO No way Marlene. OTTO My car's gone and we're going to get to the bottom of this. MARLENE Like hell we are. AGENT 2 Not in my face. PLETTSCHNER Hold it Marlene. Freeze! Marlene drops chair. AGENT 2 My Face! MARLENE Over my dead body. PLETTSCHNER That's how it's going to have to be. MARLENE Come and get me. Come on. PLETTSCHNER I've been wanting to do that one for a long time honey. MARLENE Come on. Come on. Come on if you think your man enough. OTTO Hey Fletch. Coffee break. Otto throws a pot of coffee into Plettschner's face. Marlene steps through door. Otto steps outside and is immediately captured by agents. Agent Rogersz and Leila watch Otto on monitor AGENT ROGERSZ Good evening Otto. This is agent Rogersz. I'm going to ask you a few questions. And since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know it isn't personal. OTTO Look Ah this isn't really necessary. I'll tell you anything you want to know. AGENT ROGERSZ Good! Where is the Malibu? OTTO I don't know. Somebody ripped it from the yard. Otto his hit with electric shock and screams. LEILA I don't think he knows. AGENT ROGERSZ Increase the voltage. LEILA But what if he's innocent? AGENT ROGERSZ No one is innocent. Proceed. Another electric shock and screams. Then Marlene and the Rodiguez brothers enter interrogation room and rescue Otto. AGENT ROGERSZ Ah yes! Look at them. High heels, hair nets, those ridiculous trench coats. They're pathetic. AGENT 1 But agent Rogersz, they're getting away. AGENT ROGERSZ That's all part of the plan. Brothers, Marlene, and Otto drive away. MARLENE Otto, Otto pull your self together. OTTO Marlene? What's going on? MARLENE We're going to the hospital. Otto, Marlene and the Rodriguez brothers enter the hospital OLD LADY Hey, I know you. You're the one that run into my trash. OTTO Shh! OLD LADY Shhh to you too. Otto and Marlene enter elevator with 2 health professionals. Lagarto turns away woman on crutches trying to get in. LAGARTO Out of order. Take the stairs. Otto and Marlene exit elevator wearing clothes taken from health professionals. Otto has a smiley face button on his right collar. NOTE Dr. Benway and Mr. Lee are both characters from "The Naked Lunch" Otto pulls back sheet covering body on gurney and sees Kevin. KEVIN Otto? Cut back to ER waiting room where nurse is talking to patient who has just filled out a form. NURSE 1 Let me see that. All wrong do it over. OLD LADY They're going through it all the and they won't pick it up. NURSE 2 Oh well isn't that a shame. OLD LADY Oh tell you it comes to something when they expect you to pick it up. Otto and Marlene see a door with a pine tree air freshener hanging from the knob. It's Bud's room. They go in. OTTO How are you doing man? MARLENE Ask him about the Malibu. OTTO Look about the other night. I'm sorry I split. I know I should have stayed with you but ah it's like when I was a kid you know I I had this set of big wheels you know. MARLENE Otto! Otto, Marlene and the Rodriguez brothers get chased by the agents down the stairs. Back in Bud's room BUD Shit (shoot). (starts to get up off of the bed) REVEREND LARRY Praise the lord. Otto, Marlene and Rodriguez brother drive off and the agents chase them through the parking garage. NAPOLEON Go. Go. Go. NAPOLEON Come on. Let's go. As they drive off and agents run after, the glowing Malibu drives by and strikes down two of the agents with lightening bolts. OTTO Dude slow down. Agent Rogersz blocks the exit and they are all caught. NAPOLEON All right don't shoot come on all right all right AGENTS Chicken shits (stuff). braak-braak-braak AGENT ROGERSZ Where's the Malibu? OTTO Don't even ask because I don't know. I mean I don't have it Marlene doesn't have it you and your crazy friends don't have it. So that only leaves... Everybody in Bud's hospital room Bud is gone. AGENT Where is he. AGENT Where the fuck (hell) is he. They escape the agents. Marlene and the brothers drive off as Otto breaks into and steals a car. NAPOLEON Later! MARLENE Bye, Bye. VOICE FROM THE RADIO Here's another weird one. Reports are coming in about apparent hail of ice cubes south of downtown. Scientist are at a loss to explain the freak showers of tiny cubes of ice. Otto arrives at Helping Hands lot while it rains ice cubes. Bud is sitting in the glowing Malibu. OTTO That's some weird fucking shit (filthy stuff) Eh Bud? What's going on man? BUD Shit (damn)! Eleven years of repoing cars and what have I got? Shit (zilch)! OTTO Bud listen to me. You're sitting in a car worth twenty thousand dollars. Look look we we turn it in we take the money and split it sixty forty. You and me.