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The Battle Of Shaker Heights Movie Script

Writer(s) : Erica Beeney

Genres : Comedy, Drama, Romance

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                               THE BATTLE OF SHAKER HEIGHTS



                                        Written by

                                       Erica Beeney

                

               FADE IN:

               EXT. FOREST - DAY

               DISTANT GUN AND MORTAR FIRE

               Muffled by the wet green forest.

               The very earth seems to tremble.

               A RABBIT

               Darts out of a log, lifts itself on its hind legs and sniffs 
               the air.

               LOBBED GRENADE EXPLODES

               VOICES and SHOUTS, closer now, mix with the rumbling WAR 
               SOUNDS in a veritable symphony of violence and confusion.

               A DEAD AMERICAN GI lays splayed out, careless in death.

               A pair of SOLDIERS flash among the trees, running hunched 
               over and low, and disappear into the gray blooms of SMOKE.

               For a moment the forest takes a breath.

               Nothing but trembling leaves. Then - The RATTLE of a Jeep 
               Coming closer in fits and starts, GRINDING through low gears.

               A Willys MB appears, CRASHING through the undergrowth.

               It's driven by Private First Class KELLY ERNSWILER.

               Eighteen, if that. Not much meat on him. His insignias 
               indicate he's in the 29th Infantry.

               His face might be attractive, under other conditions.

               He pauses and pulls a map from the pocket of his M41 standard-
               issue field jacket.

                                     KELLY
                         Where the hell are those Krauts?

               To give himself courage, he SINGS Tommy Dorsey's "I'll Be 
               Seeing You [in all the old familiar places]" while maneuvering 
               the Jeep through the bushes and rocks.

               He drives straight for a fallen LOG, GUNS the engine and 
               tries to go over it.

               The Jeep's FRONT WHEELS catch on the log.

               The BACK TIRES spin.

               Kelly gets out. Takes off his M1 combat helmet and wipes his 
               face. Assesses the situation.

               He grabs a BRANCH. Jams it under the wheel, trying to lever

               the Jeep free. When --

               The STUTTER of a nearby MACHINE GUN startles him.

               The branch SNAPS against Kelly's weight. He slips and falls 
               in the mud.

                                     KELLY
                         Shit.

               Determined, he grabs his pack and carbine and sets off on 
               foot through the forest.

               EXT. CLEARING

               Kelly strides purposefully out of the woods. Pauses against 
               a split-rail fence beneath the innocent sun.

               Across the clearing stands a seemingly abandoned BARN.

               But not for long, as TWO GERMAN INFANTRYMEN appear around 
               the corner of it.

               Kelly moves behind a tree to assess the situation.

               Unaware, the Germans smoke and talk. Kelly's too far away to 
               hear them but he watches their every move.

               They're relaxed, not as on guard as they should be. Their 
               Karabiners rest slung across their backs.

                                     KELLY
                         Bingo.

               AGAINST THE TREE

               Kelly focuses himself.

               Then he shoulders his carbine.

               Pulls out his dog tags and kisses them grimly.

                                     KELLY
                         "And so they buried Hector, breaker 
                         of horses."

               He takes his Smith & Wesson 1917 PISTOL from his pistol belt 
               and steps out into the SUNLIGHT FIELD in plain sight of the 
               guards.

               Surely he knows they can see him. He must want them to see 
               him.

               But they don't. Too busy passing nudie wallet photos.

               Halfway across the open grass, Kelly raises the pistol but 
               does not aim it.

               Just strides steadily closer, arms spread out, making himself 
               an easy target.

               Crazy as it seems, Private Kelly Ernswiler is trying to get 
               himself killed.

               EXT. BARN

               Kelly pauses not twenty feet from the Germans, FIRES into 
               the air and waves --

               -- when from behind him comes a voice.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (O.S.)
                         Eine maus findet den kase.

               Kelly whips around to face a third German, the OFFICER.

               His pistol points right into the Officer's shocked pink young 
               face. Point blank range.

               Only - Kelly doesn't fire.

               He just lowers the pistol.

               The German smiles.

                                     KELLY
                         Kill me Adolf.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Mien Prisoner!

               The Infantrymen have recovered from their idle and come 
               running.

               One of them yanks Kelly's hands behind his back and pushes 
               him into the barn roughly.

               Kelly doesn't struggle.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey, Siegfreid and Roy. What are you 
                         waiting for? Kill me.

               INT. BARN

               Kelly sits slumped in a chair, legs tied up. One of the 
               Germans shines a flashlight in his face. Kelly squints.

                                     KELLY
                         Come on you pussies. Let's get this 
                         over with.

               The German Officer produces a piece of paper and a fountain 
               pen.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (German accent)
                         You will write your mother. Tell her 
                         how you will die now.

               Kelly takes the pen and examines it.

                                     KELLY
                         Genuine Third Reich issue, no less. 
                         Nice work.

               The Officer pokes the paper.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         You will write. How you die alone.

                                     KELLY
                         My mother and I don't have that kind 
                         of relationship.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (hisses)
                         Write.

               Kelly thinks about it for a minute - should he or shouldn't 
               he - but sighs and begins writing. After a few lines, the 
               Officer snatches the paper away and passes it to an 
               Infantryman.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Enough. Now you will beg for your 
                         life.

                                     KELLY
                         What don't you understand?

                                     INFANTRYMAN
                              (interrupts sheepishly 
                              in German accent)
                         The protocol says we should -

               The Officer wheels around and scowls at the speaker. He seems 
               to be getting a bit hysterical.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         I am the fucking protocol.
                              (to Kelly)
                         Beg!

               He and Kelly glare at each other.

               The Officer FIRES his Luger into the rafters.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Beg - for - your - life!

                                     KELLY
                         You got to be kidding me.

               The Officer grabs his throat.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Silence. Now I have a little fun.

               Kelly laughs. The officer slaps him. Kelly jerks away.

                                     KELLY
                         Now that's against the rules.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (sneers)
                         There are no rules in war.

               Suddenly another AMERICAN GI appears behind the German in 
               the shadows.

               Only Kelly can see him. The GI motions to Kelly "keep talking" 
               while he gets into a better position with his M-1 rifle.

                                     KELLY
                              (to Officer)
                         You've never killed anyone before, 
                         have you?

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         I shower in the blood of my victims --

               The GI shoots the two infantrymen who fall in exaggerated 
               pain and commence death throes.

               Quick as a flash, the GI's Colt 1911 PISTOL is at the German 
               Officer's neck, his M-1 in his other hand.

                                     GI
                         No wonder you smell so bad.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Don't shoot, please.

               The GI's eyes widen. He looks at Kelly.

                                     GI
                         Will you look at the manners on this 
                         guy?
                              (to German)
                         Remember to thank me when I kill 
                         you.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         No, really, not in the neck -

               But the GI does anyway.

               The Officer SHRIEKS, grabs at his neck, and falls.

                                     GI
                              (to Kelly)
                         You all right?

                                     KELLY
                         Yeah. My elaborate death scene wasn't 
                         going anywhere anyway.

                                     GI
                         You want me to give you a minute?

                                     KELLY
                         That's okay. They'll get me 
                         eventually. If you can't get killed 
                         in a war, when can you?

                                     GI
                         That's right. Look on the bright 
                         side.

               The GI holds out his hand.

                                     GI
                         Bart. Bart Bowland.

               Kelly takes the hand of the grinning all-American type guy.

               About his own age, but BART takes up more space.

                                     KELLY
                         Kelly. Kelly Ernswiler.

                                     BART
                         Kelly?

                                     KELLY
                              (mimics)
                         Bart?

                                     BART
                         I mean - that's Irish, right?

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (from the floor, now 
                              with a decidedly 
                              American accent)
                         Wow man, this is a really beautiful 
                         scene and all, but I have to 
                         interrupt.
                              (to Bart)
                         Why the fuck did you have to shoot 
                         that cap so close to my neck? You 
                         gave me a powder burn.

                                     KELLY
                         Listen you wienerschnitzel. You should 
                         talk. You slapped me. I'm not your 
                         bitch.

               The Officer gets up and dusts off his uniform.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Well, what was that whole creepy 
                         death wish thing about?

                                     KELLY
                         Well it didn't work, now did it?

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (shrugs)
                         Sometimes I get so caught up in the 
                         moment.

                                     KELLY
                         And what was that ridiculous shit 
                         about making me write to my mother?

               The Officer grins.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                         Inspired, wasn't it?

                                     BART
                         Dude, you made him write to his 
                         mother? Who are you, Dr. Phil?

                                     INFANTRYMAN
                              (also with American 
                              accent)
                         Can we get up now?

               Bart helps him up and checks his regulation-issue Timex.

                                     BART
                         Might as well. There's only an hour 
                         left anyway.

               The German Officer crosses his arms.

                                     GERMAN OFFICER
                              (to Kelly)
                         Admit it. You were scared.

                                     KELLY
                              (snorts)
                         Right.

               Kelly gets up from the chair and falls over. His legs are 
               still tied.

               EXT. FOREST

               The DEAD GI gets up and walks off with the GERMANS and some 
               other SOLDIERS, done for the day.

               Bart and Kelly walk back to the stranded Jeep.

                                     BART
                         That Willys yours?

                                     KELLY
                         Yup. Just got her. Three summers 
                         packing out at Shop Rite.

               Bart unfolds an entrenching tool from his belt and digs under 
               the back wheels, building up dirt.

               Then he goes around to the front and puts his shoulder against 
               the hood. Bart rocks the Jeep while Kelly pumps the gas.

               The Jeep finally pulls free and SPRAYS Bart with mud.

                                     KELLY
                         My bad. Thanks though.

               Kelly looks over his shoulder and starts backing away.

                                     KELLY
                         See you.

               Bart stands there, dripping with mud, shocked.

               About a hundred feet away Kelly stops.

                                     KELLY
                         Well, come on.

               Bart walks towards the Jeep. Kelly backs it up again.

                                     KELLY
                         I couldn't resist.

               Bart climbs in.

                                     BART
                         Real funny, Ernswiler. You might 
                         still get your chance to die today.

               INT. DINER - DAY

               The customers are all REENACTORS. Some Yanks, some Germans, 
               a few Scottish and North African irregulars. "Boogie-Woogie 
               Bugle Boy" plays on the jukebox.

               Bart and Kelly sit in a booth together. Bart has an easy, 
               confident manner and expansive gestures. Kelly eats hunched 
               over, like someone might try and steal his food.

                                     BART
                         Character building? Those crazy guys 
                         from Ann Arbor tied them to a dock.

                                     KELLY
                              (shrugs)
                         That's what you get for invading 
                         Wisconsin.

                                     BART
                         D-Day at Kenosha was nothing. At 
                         Guadalcanal Chillicothe there was a 
                         guy who actually injected himself 
                         with malaria.

                                     KELLY
                         That's crazy.

               They both eat for a minute.

                                     BART
                         Where do you live, anyway?

                                     KELLY
                         Shaker Heights.

                                     BART
                         That explains the death wish. Me 
                         too. What street?

                                     KELLY
                         Penn Place.

                                     BART
                              (chewing)
                         Hmm, don't know it.

                                     KELLY
                         It's not technically in Shaker Heights 
                         - but I go to Shaker Heights High.

               Pause. Kelly looks at Bart.

                                     BART
                         Langely Prep.

                                     KELLY
                         Sorry to hear that.

                                     BART
                         Well, I got kicked out of Shaker 
                         Heights High because my birdhouse 
                         came unglued in honors woodshop.

                                     KELLY
                         Of course. I would have gone to 
                         Langely myself only my polo pony had 
                         the fits.

               Bart throws his napkin on his plate.

                                     BART
                         No matter.
                              (raises his voice to 
                              address the room)
                         We're all soldiers here.

                                     CROWD
                         That's right./Here, here./ Whooping, 
                         cheers, etc.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly pulls up into the circular gravel drive. Bart's house 
               is fancy. A nice yard and a pool. Bart hops out.

                                     BART
                         You should come over some time.
                         Service our lawnmower.

                                     KELLY
                         I would, but then I might soil my 
                         croquet whites. You understand.

                                     BART
                         How bourgeois. Cheerio then.

               Kelly watches Bart go into his house and smiles in spite of 
               himself.

               EXT. ERNSWILER HOUSE - DUSK

               Kelly's house is a also pretty nice, nothing to be ashamed 
               of. It is smaller and weirder. The flowers and bushes are 
               overgrown and strange sculptures dot the yard, some leaning 
               at precarious angles.

               Kelly washes his Jeep in the driveway.

               EXT. ERNSWILER HOUSE - NIGHT

               Kelly buffs the headlamps with a chamois. The Jeep looks 
               good as new. He pulls a canvas cover over it.

                                     KELLY
                         Sleep tight Hot Lips.

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Kelly walks in on his dad ABE making sandwiches. A great big 
               pile of cheese and PB&J.

                                     ABE
                         Sergeant Keller! How was the war? 
                         Did we win?

               Kelly doesn't smile at this. He looks at the sandwiches and 
               puts his finger to his chin in a gesture so facetious it's 
               downright angry.

                                     KELLY
                         Let me guess. Happy Meals for the 
                         wavy gravy wellness center?

               Abe grabs two pieces of bread from a loaf. He looks kind. A 
               bit ill-used by life. The phrase "rode hard and put away 
               wet" comes to mind.

                                     ABE
                         As usual, your cynicism is refreshing.

               He finishes that sandwich and adds it to the pile.

               Kelly pauses while opening the refrigerator. His back 
               tightens. He slams the door with his foot.

                                     KELLY
                         As usual, your cheerful optimism 
                         makes me ill.

               Abe pauses over a slice of bread only briefly. The hostility 
               is nothing new.

                                     ABE
                              (lightly)
                         You should get that checked.

               Kelly walks through the kitchen and out the back door.

                                     KELLY
                              (O.S.)
                         Sure thing, doc. Say hello to Leif 
                         Garrett for me.

               INT. ERNSWILER GARAGE - NIGHT

               Kelly opens the screen door and pokes his head in.

               A family of Chinese immigrants, the Lings, paints canvases 
               at long worktables. There's a MOTHER, father MAO, grandmother 
               XIOU-XIOU, SON and DAUGHTER.

               Finished canvases hang from the walls and lean in piles 
               against it. All of them are portraits of animals. Some have 
               on hats or clothes.

               Kelly's mom EVE shows grandmother XIOU-XIOU a few strokes 
               with a paintbrush.

               Eve wears jeans. She's one of those young-looking mothers 
               Kelly's friends would have crushes on. If he had any friends.

                                     MAO
                              (to Kelly)
                         Son of Eve. You are very dirty.

                                     KELLY
                              (awkward)
                         A rough charge. You know.

                                     EVE
                              (to Kelly)
                         Don't touch anything. We have to get 
                         ready for the Starving Artist show.
                              (to Xiou-Xiou)
                         Now Nana, the gold has to be feathery, 
                         not gloppy - see?

               Eve demonstrates on the painting - a pair of monkeys in French 
               court dress. Kelly looks over his mom's shoulder.

                                     EVE
                         Now you try.

               Grandmother Xiou-Xiou dabs at the painting.

                                     EVE
                              (to Kelly)
                         She loves the gold. Always overuses 
                         it. And usually her touch is so light.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         Gold is the color of the sun.

               Eve moves along the row, stopping to look at the paintings 
               in progress.

                                     KELLY
                         You know why we never have anything 
                         to eat in this house?

               But Eve has stopped behind Mao's painting. She's not paying 
               attention to Kelly.

                                     EVE
                         Mao, what did we say about the eyes?

               She gestures at the image of a horse done Santa Fe style, 
               lots of pastels, very abstract.

               Mao looks at her quizzically.

                                     MAO
                         More - empathy?

                                     EVE
                         That's right. And didn't I tell you 
                         to put in more cacti?

                                     MAO
                              (shakes head)
                         No, no more cacti. Too busy. 
                         Simplicity is best.

               His family nods in support of this rash aesthetic statement.

               Eve rolls her eyes.

                                     EVE
                         Oh boy. I'm not having this battle 
                         with you again.

               Kelly breaks in.

                                     KELLY
                         Because your husband takes food from 
                         his own family to feed every loser 
                         druggie in Cleveland.

               Eve moves down the line.

                                     EVE
                         Well, you can always chip in here. 
                         We're ordering pizza later.

               At this the family nods and smiles to each other, pleased 
               with the news.

                                     KELLY
                         No. Some people have to work later.
                              (casual)
                         Will you drop something off at the 
                         dry cleaners for me tomorrow?

               Eve looks up at him for the first time. Takes in his filthy 
               uniform.

                                     EVE
                         Sweetie, you know what we said about 
                         paying for the war things. Nothing's 
                         changed.

                                     KELLY
                         It's the only thing I ever ask you 
                         for --

                                     EVE
                         Don't be dramatic.

                                     KELLY
                         But it's important to me.

               Eve stops at Mother Ling's painting.

                                     EVE
                         You're just going to have to find a 
                         way to pay for it yourself then, I 
                         guess.
                              (to Mother Ling)
                         No - not that way - the sky should 
                         be stormier. Angry clouds.

               Mother Ling looks up at Kelly, who's scowling. She smiles 
               and nods, understanding.

                                     KELLY
                         Why do I bother?

               Kelly leaves. Eve's busy talking.

                                     EVE
                         More brown, less blue.

               INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Kelly comes back in a grabs a sandwich off the pile.

                                     ABE
                         Now Keller, who needs that sandwich 
                         more - you or the daughter of a crack 
                         addict trying to make a new life?

               Kelly looks at him and bites into the sandwich.

                                     KELLY
                         How about the son of a heroin addict 
                         trying to get ready for work?

               Kelly leaves with the sandwich. Abe sighs and picks up more 
               bread.

                                     ABE
                         That went well.

               INT. KELLY'S ROOM - NIGHT

               On the walls a poster for the Civil War miniseries next to 
               one of Led Zeppelin. Some maps. A globe. Models of fighter 
               planes and a set of old tin soldiers.

               Oh yeah, and his mom's ORIGINAL PAINTING, the one that started 
               it all, this one signed by her - a very intense looking pink 
               rabbit glaring out of the canvas with huge eyes.

               He sits on the edge of the bed for a minute staring into 
               space before he peels off his muddy uniform piece by piece.

               INT. GROCERY STORE - NIGHT

               Ah, the graveyard shift. Musak Steely Dan.

               Kelly unpacks cat food.

               Thousands and thousands of little cans of it. It's hard to 
               keep the rows straight on the shelves.

               SARAH, the night cashier, stands at her register. She's plain-
               looking now but she'll be beautiful later when she figures 
               out who she is.

               Not another soul in the store. Sarah wanders over to Kelly's 
               aisle as if pulled by a magnet.

                                     SARAH
                         So how'd your battle go today? I 
                         still don't understand how you could 
                         reenact the Battle of the Bulge in 
                         seventy-two degree weather.
                              (plays with hair)
                         Didn't all those guys freeze to death?

               Kelly doesn't stop working. He's got a system.

                                     KELLY
                         Well, a Port-a-John fell over on a 
                         couple of guys.

                                     SARAH
                         That's gross.

                                     KELLY
                         War is hell.

               Kelly grabs another handful of cans.

                                     SARAH
                         Then why do you do it?

               Kelly pauses. He puts two cans on the shelf very deliberately.

                                     KELLY
                         You're never more alive then when 
                         facing simulated death.

                                     SARAH
                         Really? Maybe I should try it.

               Kelly looks at her, thinks about this, and stands up.

                                     KELLY
                         You are William J. Stone of the 1st 
                         Airborne, pinned down in Noville. 
                         The Germans have the high ground and 
                         they're shelling your position 
                         heavily.
                              (starts throwing cans)
                         You're holed up in a stone barn. 
                         Sustaining heavy casualties. Running 
                         low on ammo. The cries of wounded 
                         men fill the air like the cries of 
                         hungry babies.

               Sarah covers her head, huddled behind the boxes of cat food, 
               dodging cans.

                                     KELLY
                         Your commanding officer gets hit in 
                         the face, dies. At 1 p.m. you lose 
                         radio contact with headquarters. If 
                         you withdraw, the Germans will flank 
                         the entire Allied forces arrayed 
                         along Bastogne and break the front. 
                         What do you do? What do you do?

                                     SARAH
                         Stop it!

               Kelly goes back to stocking, satisfied.

                                     KELLY
                         Battle of Bulge, the Southern 
                         Shoulder, December '44.

                                     SARAH
                         Sorry I asked.

               Sarah stands up and starts to wander away but Kelly makes a 
               peace offering.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey. Want a snack? We got a whole 
                         shipment in of busted Oreo's.

               Sarah looks at her feet, considering whether or not to accept 
               it.

                                     SARAH
                         I'll accidentally drop a couple pints 
                         of milk and meet you over there.

               INT. DAIRY BACKROOM

               Sarah and Kelly sit on milk crates, pass the cookies back 
               and forth and get philosophical.

                                     SARAH
                         The frozen food woman came in with 
                         her kids. They must eat out of those 
                         little cardboard trays every night. 
                         One of the kids looked like cardboard.

                                     KELLY
                         Do you know we stock more flavors of 
                         cat food than we do baby food?

                                     SARAH
                         No.

                                     KELLY
                         Sixteen flavors of baby food including 
                         the toddler meals-in-ajar, thirty-
                         one flavors of cat food.

               He fishes for a cookie.

                                     KELLY
                         Next time you should tell that woman 
                         to buy her kid some cat food.

               An ANGRY WOMAN pushes open the swinging door of the backroom 
               with her loaded shopping cart.

                                     WOMAN
                         Is this store open? I've been waiting 
                         up front. If the store's closed, it 
                         shouldn't have a sign that says twenty-
                         four hours.

               Sarah gets up. Kelly stays right where he is, finishing a 
               cookie.

                                     SARAH
                         Sorry about that.

                                     WOMAN
                         I have a lot of coupons and I don't 
                         want to be here when they expire.

                                     KELLY
                              (to Sarah)
                         Charge her double for everything.

               Sarah smiles and hurries away.

               INT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               Kelly walks down the hall with his army-issue BACKPACK slung 
               over one shoulder. Besides a serious case of bedhead, he 
               looks normal.

               No one says hi to him as he makes his way to his locker.

               As he twirls the combination and opens it, he notices LANCE -- 
               short and wide, built like a tank, prematurely balding, and 
               his girlfriend BRIDGET embracing a few lockers down.

               They kiss raunchily, their tongues darting in and out of 
               each other's mouths.

               Lance sees Kelly looking and stops kissing.

                                     LANCE
                         What the fuck are you looking at, GI 
                         Jane?

               Kelly shakes his head and gets a book out of his locker.

                                     LANCE
                         No really, what makes you think you 
                         can look at me?

                                     KELLY
                         I honestly didn't know it was you. I 
                         thought it was a free preview of the 
                         Spice Channel.

                                     LANCE
                         That's pretty funny. You got dental 
                         insurance?

               Kelly closes his locker and walks away.

               Bridget wipes her mouth guiltily.

               Lance shakes his head and pulls Bridget to him, grinding his 
               pelvis against hers.

                                     BRIDGET
                         Stop it.

               She walks away.

                                     LANCE
                         What? What?

               INT. CLASSROOM -- DAY

               The lights are off in history class.

               The teacher MR. NORMAN shows slides on the Civil War. The 
               more we see the clearer it becomes that they are his own 
               photos from a vacation spent visiting the memorials.

               Mr. Norman smiles out at his class in shot after shot.

               He clicks the remote and a photo of his WIFE, crouched over 
               and wearing shorts, drinking from a garden hose appears on 
               screen.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Whoops!

               He hurries through to the next slide.

               It doesn't matter anyway. Everyone is almost asleep.

               Except Kelly, who becomes increasingly irritated the more 
               Mr. Norman talks.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         And here, at Gettysburg, the ranks 
                         of Union soldiers fought bravely on. 
                         They were willing to give their lives 
                         so that others might be free.

               Kelly shifts in his seat.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Is there a problem Mr. Ernswiler?

                                     KELLY
                         No.

               But Mr. Norman doesn't start talking again.

               He waits, looking at Kelly, smiling blandly. Until the silence 
               becomes uncomfortable. And Kelly gets mad.

                                     KELLY
                         Come on. Isn't this analysis a tad 
                         simplistic? I mean, maybe for a second 
                         grade history class, sure - but to 
                         insist on still characterizing the 
                         Civil War as some moral struggle? 
                         The soldiers were drafted - the only 
                         ones who had to fight were the ones 
                         who couldn't afford to pay their way 
                         out.
                              (losing it)
                         Why don't you talk about the Draft 
                         Riots? Where are your slides for 
                         that?

               INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

               Fresh flowers and a crocheted tissue box hoodie make the 
               place cozy.

               Kelly sits across the desk from PRINCIPAL HOLMSTEAD, a well-
               groomed woman with a gentle talk show host demeanor.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         What gives you the idea that you can 
                         or ought to question the curriculum?

               Kelly doesn't move. He's not into this.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         Or question your teacher?

                                     KELLY
                         I know. I mean, who ever heard of a 
                         classroom dialog? Not Socrates.

               Ms. Holmstead is exasperated, but she likes him in spite of 
               herself. He's a smart cookie. She's got to change her 
               strategy.

               She leans back in her chair.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         Kelly, you're a very bright boy. But 
                         you're making some serious mistakes.

                                     KELLY
                         I don't need to. Everyone else makes 
                         them for me.

               Her chair SQUEAKS as she leans forward and looks at Kelly 
               intently.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         This anger must be masking a lot of 
                         hurt.

                                     KELLY
                         I was wondering what the tissues 
                         were for.

               Holmstead tries again. She looks down at his file.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         I see you're not going to college 
                         next year. What are your plans?

               Kelly shrugs. Holmstead searches his face for any clues.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         How do I get through to you?

                                     KELLY
                         Advertisers use status and sex to 
                         appeal to my demographic.

               She shakes her head and swings her chair towards the window 
               and gazes out at the front walkway of the school. Her face 
               clears. Something's clicked.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         I think we can come up with a 
                         punishment which might actually be 
                         more of an opportunity for you to 
                         realize your true potential.

               EXT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               School's been out for a while. The first rush had already 
               left.

               Kelly comes down the front steps and starts across the parking 
               lot to his Jeep.

               Lance steps out from behind an SUV and intercepts him.

                                     LANCE
                         You upset Bridget.

               Kelly hardly stops walking.

                                     KELLY
                         Give me a break.

                                     LANCE
                         You need to apologize.

                                     KELLY
                         What are you going to do, make out 
                         with me?

               Lance runs and grabs Kelly's backpack.

                                     LANCE
                         Why are you fucking with me? You 
                         little fucker. Want to play, fuckface?

                                     KELLY
                         You just used fuck as a verb, noun, 
                         and adjective. Impressive.

               Kelly tries to start walking again but Lance has hold of 
               him.

                                     LANCE
                         Let's see what Beetle Bailey's got 
                         in his knapsack.

               Lance grabs Kelly's arm and yanks it back. Kelly still seems 
               unconcerned.

               Suddenly he pulls away, but Lance keeps hold of his backpack.

               Lance holds the backpack up next to his head and points at 
               it, gleeful.

               Lance walks away towards his car. Kelly runs after him.

               Lance holds Kelly off easily with one hand and throws the 
               backpack into his SUV. They STRUGGLE for a minute, until 
               Lance pushes Kelly away, gets in the car.

               Kelly runs next to the car and pounds on the window as Lance 
               drives off.

               Finally, Kelly gives up. Lance turns out of the parking lot 
               and HONKS the horn.

               Kelly shakes his head.

                                     KELLY
                         Rim job.

               INT. ARMY NAVY STORE - DAY

               Kelly sifts through a pile of backpacks looking for a 
               replacement. From his post behind the counter, Bart sees him 
               and comes over.

                                     BART
                         Kelly. Hey.

                                     KELLY
                         You work here?

                                     BART
                         Just a couple days a month, to get a 
                         heads-up on the latest stuff. What 
                         are you doing?

                                     KELLY
                         Looking for a backpack.

                                     BART
                         Is that all? Don't bother. I have a 
                         couple extras at home. I could give 
                         you one if you want.

                                     KELLY
                              (beat)
                         Sure, I guess.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, DAD'S LIBRARY - DAY

               Kelly stands a bit awkwardly waiting for Bart to get the key 
               from the desk to open the door in the corner. The door finally 
               swings open.

               INT. STOREROOM

               Bart and Kelly stand between shelves piled high with war 
               memorabilia. Uniforms in vacu-pac sealed bags, weapons in 
               shoeboxes, cannonballs and tattered and gunsmoke-darkened 
               flags.

                                     KELLY
                         Very impressive.

                                     BART
                         My dad's real into hoarding.

               Kelly holds up a flask in a leather case.

                                     KELLY
                         What's this?

                                     BART
                         Grant's field flask.

                                     KELLY
                         Wow. Your dad should meet my history 
                         teacher. He sent me to the principal's 
                         office today for questioning his G-
                         rated interpretation of the Civil 
                         War.

                                     BART
                         Forget him.

                                     KELLY
                         I would, but now the principal's 
                         making me give a speech on the Civil 
                         War at an assembly.

                                     BART
                              (laughing in sympathy 
                              and amusement)
                         What is he, some kind of sadist?

                                     KELLY
                         She thinks she's doing me a favor.

                                     BART
                         Jesus, she must think you're really 
                         screwed up. Are you?

                                     KELLY
                         Depends on who you ask. Everyone's 
                         got an opinion.

                                     BART
                              (grabs box)
                         Take this. That'll shut them up.

               Bart opens the long box. Nestled inside is a leg bone with a 
               foot attached to it.

                                     BART
                         Stonewall Jackson's.

                                     KELLY
                         Yeah right.

                                     BART
                         Can you imagine that? Losing your 
                         leg and getting back up on your horse? 
                         Unbelievable. What balls.

               Kelly nods. That is balls.

                                     BART
                         He's got so much crap crammed in 
                         here he doesn't even notice when 
                         it's missing. I saw a backpack in 
                         here somewhere.

               Bart puts down the box carelessly and paws through the piles.

               INT. BOWLAND KITCHEN

               Bart and Kelly sit at the kitchen table drinking sodas, 
               waiting for MINNIE, the housekeeper, to finish making them 
               dinner.

                                     BART
                         I thought he had a couple.

                                     KELLY
                         I'd feel weird taking one out of the 
                         tomb of Tutenkamen anyway.

                                     BART
                         Trust me, you shouldn't.
                              (burps)
                         Where'd your old one go?

                                     KELLY
                         I lost it.

                                     BART
                         How?

               A pause. Kelly decides to tell him.

                                     KELLY
                         Someone took it.

                                     BART
                         You let someone take it?

                                     KELLY
                         I didn't let him. I told off some 
                         idiot --

                                     BART
                         Sounds like your mouth gets you into 
                         trouble a lot.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm telling you, it's not me, it's 
                         the world.

               TABBY, Bart's older sister comes in.

               She's older. Definitely in college, if not out. And totally 
               shockingly beautiful. Otherworldly.

                                     BART
                         Tabby, this is Kelly.

                                     TABBY
                              (to Kelly)
                         Don't give him any money, whatever 
                         you do.

                                     BART
                         Shut up.

                                     TABBY
                         All these little old ladies are 
                         looking for him in Arizona. He took 
                         their retirement money and bought 
                         defective bazookas with it.

               Kelly laughs. And looks at Tabby more closely.

                                     BART
                         Very funny. We're paying attention 
                         to you, are you happy now?

                                     TABBY
                         Finally, my life is complete. Fait 
                         accompli.

                                     BART
                              (to Tabby)
                         Minnie's making sloppy joes. Want 
                         one?

                                     TABBY
                         Sloppy joe? Sloppy no.

               She opens the fridge and gets a yogurt.

                                     TABBY
                         I have to go take a shower. Will you 
                         call me when Miner gets here?

               Tabby leaves. Kelly's distracted.

                                     KELLY
                         Who's Miner?

                                     BART
                         The fianc�.

               Bart rolls his eyes, indicating what he thinks of good old 
               Miner.

               Kelly nods, doesn't say anything.

                                     BART
                         Listen, I'm going to the flea market 
                         on Saturday. I have a line on a couple 
                         dealers. You could get a backpack 
                         there.

               Kelly glances at the door Tabby left from.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh yeah? Flea market, land of 
                         bargains.

                                     BART
                         Especially if you know who to talk 
                         to.

               Kelly looks at Bart with suspicion -- and respect.

               EXT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - MORNING

               Kelly hops out of his Jeep and walks towards the front of 
               the school.

               Lance is there, hanging out with Bridget and some of his Cro-
               Magnon FRIENDS.

               He wears a WW II CAP, overseas airborne style, obviously 
               Kelly's.

                                     LANCE
                         Hey fuckface. Like my new hat? I 
                         just joined the Boy Scouts.

               The Cro-Magnons grunt approvingly at this witty repartee.

                                     KELLY
                         If you stay in it long enough, maybe 
                         you'll get your fudgepacker badge.

               Ooh. The Cro-Magnons laugh at Lance and EGG him on - "You 
               gonna take that?"/"He just called you a fag", etc.

               Lance frowns and grabs Kelly.

                                     LANCE
                         You're a regular Howie Mandel.

               Still holding on to him with one arm, he SLAPS Kelly hard 
               across the face with the other.

               Kelly's knees give a bit. Lance holds him up.

                                     BRIDGET
                         Lance!

               Lance looks over at her and releases Kelly.

                                     LANCE
                         Okay babe.
                              (to Kelly)
                         One day you and me will be alone. 
                         And won't that be nice?

               Kelly is hurt but covering.

                                     KELLY
                         Too bad my mom won't let me date 
                         yet.

               Kelly frowns and adjusts his clothes. Tries to re-wet the 
               dry inside of his mouth with his tongue.

               He turns slowly and trudges up the stairs.

               Sarah has been watching the whole thing from the door.

                                     SARAH
                         Why do you mess with him?

                                     KELLY
                         You're right. I should give him a 
                         break.

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly watches TV in the living room. His cheek has a nice 
               bruise on it. Eve enters.

                                     EVE
                         Oh, Kelly, you're home. Good. I need 
                         you to go to the art supply store 
                         for me.

               Kelly looks at the TV.

                                     KELLY
                         Get Abe to do it.

               Eve goes to her purse and rifles through it to find her 
               wallet.

                                     EVE
                         He was going to but he had to go 
                         lead a meeting at Care House.

                                     KELLY
                         What a surprise.

                                     EVE
                         I'll make it up to you.

                                     KELLY
                         Where have I heard that before?

               Eve sighs.

                                     EVE
                         When are you going to give me a break?

               Kelly jabs at the remote.

                                     KELLY
                         Let me think - maybe when I finally 
                         forget every single word of The Little 
                         Mermaid soundtrack I'd listen to in 
                         the car waiting for him to score. 
                         No, probably when I don't prepare 
                         myself before I go into the bathroom, 
                         expecting to find him passed out on 
                         the floor.

               Eve waits through this.

                                     KELLY
                         Actually, you know what? I know I'll 
                         be able to put it all behind me when 
                         I go away to college.
                              (slaps his forehead, 
                              pretend remembering)
                         Only, I can't go because someone 
                         spent my college fund on Mexican 
                         Black Tar. So looks like I'll have 
                         to try to forget at Shop Rite, where 
                         I'll be working for the rest of my 
                         life.

                                     EVE
                         You're right. You have every reason 
                         to crawl into the corner and give 
                         up. But please just get me some paints 
                         first.

               Eve comes over to Kelly. He sighs and puts his hand out.

                                     KELLY
                         What do you need?

               She gives him the money.

                                     EVE
                         We need burnt sienna, cadmium red, 
                         and midnight blue. Two tubes of blue.
                              (looks at him)
                         What happened to your face?

               She puts her hand up but he moves away from it.

                                     KELLY
                         Forget it.

               INT. ART SUPPLY STORE - DAY

               Kelly looks through the paints, picking out tubes. He looks 
               up and sees Tabby browsing the paintbrushes.

               He's suddenly nervous. He knocks over a few cans of thinner. 
               Almost leaves.

               Instead, he gathers his courage, goes to the display opposite 
               hers and waits to catch her eye.

                                     KELLY
                         They're having a sale on glitter.

               It takes Tabby a second to recognize him.

                                     TABBY
                         Oh, hello. What happened to you?

                                     KELLY
                              (shrugs)
                         Tennis injury.

               Tabby looks at him suspiciously like she's not sure whether 
               to believe him.

               Tabby finishes with the mediums and moves onto the paints.

               Kelly follows her, staying in the opposite aisle.

                                     TABBY
                         You paint?

                                     KELLY
                         Well, you see... That's a difficult 
                         question.

                                     TABBY
                         How so?

                                     KELLY
                         I don't really feel comfortable 
                         calling anything done since the 
                         Renaissance "painting." We might 
                         have a more experimental interaction 
                         with the picture plane, but our skills 
                         have suffered from it.

               In spite of herself, Tabby laughs at this. This gives Kelly 
               more confidence. He leans over the aisle to see what she's 
               looking at.

                                     KELLY
                         You're working with acrylic. Why? 
                         Oil's much - richer.

                                     TABBY
                         Oh you're not one of those oil snobs 
                         are you?

                                     KELLY
                         Of course not.

               Kelly comes around and leans nonchalantly against the shelves, 
               knocks more things over and fumbles to replace them.

                                     KELLY
                         It's just - isn't acrylic a bit - 
                         jejune?

                                     TABBY
                         Jejune? You're jejune. How old are 
                         you anyway?

                                     KELLY
                         Older than my years.

               Tabby walks to the counter with her brushes.

                                     TABBY
                         And you paint?

               Kelly looks down and partially confesses.

                                     KELLY
                         Well, you know, my mother's kind of 
                         an artist, so -

                                     TABBY
                         That explains it.

               Tabby signs the slip and takes the bag. She walks out, Kelly 
               with her, matches her pace, talking.

                                     KELLY
                         That explains nothing. Doesn't anyone 
                         believe in innate knowledge anymore? 
                         Michelangelo was fifteen when he 
                         painted the Infanta.

                                     TABBY
                         Infantas are Spanish. Michelangelo 
                         was Italian.

               Tabby gets into her car. Kelly leans into her window.

                                     KELLY
                         Exactly. One world, one people. Just 
                         like Jesse Jackson envisioned.

               Tabby tries to conceal her smile and starts her car.

                                     TABBY
                         Well - Kelly. Nice talking to you.

               She drives away. Kelly stands there watching. Then he winces.

                                     KELLY
                         What the hell did you just say?

               EXT. ERNSWILER HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly pulls up in his Jeep. He turns off the engine but 
               doesn't get out. Just sits there. He doesn't want to go in.

               EXT. FLEA MARKET - DAY

               Colored plastic flags droop in the sun.

               MILITARY STALL

               Bart sweeps his eye over everything. A SKINNY GUY wearing a 
               wife beater has some not half-bad stuff.

               Kelly, bruise faded to yellow and green, examines a glass 
               mason jar of what seems to be dirt.

                                     SKINNY GUY
                              (to Kelly)
                         That there's actual sand from Iwo 
                         Jima.

                                     BART
                         Or your sister's sandbox.

               The guy shrugs.

                                     SKINNY GUY
                         Well, it don't come with no 
                         certificate of authenticity.
                              (considers)
                         I could write one up for you, I 
                         suppose. Get it notarized.

                                     BART
                         No, that's quite all right. Actually, 
                         I'm in the market for medals.

                                     SKINNY GUY
                         Sure. I got a couple purple hearts. 
                         A Silver Star. DSC. Can't sell them 
                         to you though. They were gramp's.
                              (wink)

               Bart acts casual, hands clasped behind his back.

                                     BART
                         Are you sure?

                                     SKINNY
                         They have a lot of sentimental value 
                         -

                                     BART
                         Yeah. How much?

                                     SKINNY GUY
                         A lot.

               Bart pulls out a paper bag and offers it to the skinny guy, 
               who looks inside.

                                     SKINNY GUY
                         What's this?

                                     BART
                         General Ulysses S. Grant's field 
                         flask, my friend.

               Kelly is shocked. The skinny guy looks at his suspiciously.

                                     BART
                         Throw in one of those backpacks and 
                         we'll call it even.

               The skinny guy looks at Bart, and in the bag again. He goes 
               to get the backpack. Kelly's impressed by this smooth 
               exchange.

               FLEA MARKET - BETWEEN ROWS

               Kelly and Bart weave through the maze of stands. Kelly now 
               holds the backpack.

                                     KELLY
                         Buying and selling US service medals 
                         is illegal.

                                     BART
                         Exactly. That's why the resale value 
                         is so high.

                                     KELLY
                         Is that what they teach you at 
                         Langely?

                                     BART
                         Don't be so na�ve. We all have our 
                         skeletons. Some of them just pay 
                         more than others.

                                     KELLY
                         And I'm not even going to ask about 
                         the flask.

                                     BART
                         Don't ask, don't tell. The army gets 
                         everything right, don't they?

               CAMPAIGN PIN STALL

               A frowsy WOMAN in a muumuu sits fanning herself in front of 
               an extensive display of pins and buttons.

                                     WOMAN
                         You boys look like Goldwater fans.

                                     KELLY
                         I've never been accused of that 
                         before.

                                     WOMAN
                         Well jeez, you don't have to be 
                         insulted.

                                     BART
                         Anything military?

               The woman considers this, her fan working back and forth 
               lazily.

                                     WOMAN
                         Fish around in that cigar box.

               Bart paws through the box. Acts casual.

                                     BART
                         What do you want for the box?

                                     WOMAN
                         Twenty dollars.

                                     BART
                         Fifteen.

                                     WOMAN
                         Don't be so hasty.
                              (fanning)
                         I got a few Geraldine Ferraro pins 
                         I'm looking to unload.

               FLEA MARKET FOOD COURT

               Kelly and Bart, now wearing the smiling black & white face 
               of Geraldine Ferraro, eat disgusting yet delicious flea market 
               food and watch a slow-motion bingo game.

                                     KELLY
                         Goldwater fan. I think that's some 
                         kind of insult.

                                     BART
                         Not at Dartmouth. Where are you going 
                         to go to school?

                                     KELLY
                         I'm not.

                                     BART
                         Ah, you have that luxury.

                                     KELLY
                         You don't?

                                     BART
                              (shrugs)
                         I didn't have much say in the matter. 
                         Everything has been decided for me 
                         since birth. I'm not whining about 
                         it. Play the hand you're dealt, right?

                                     KELLY
                         Easy for you to say. You got a royal 
                         flush.

                                     BART
                         Are you crazy? My life sucks. 
                         Everyone's always telling me what to 
                         do. You can't fight it. Go with the 
                         flow.

               They eat for a minute to the soothing sounds of the BINGO 
               CALLER: TWENTY-ONE, THIRTEEN, FOUR, SEVENTY-EIGHT.

                                     KELLY
                         What about Tabby?

                                     BART
                         She got to go where she wanted. Sarah 
                         Lawrence. Six years. She's almost 
                         done with grad school. Yale.

                                     KELLY
                         I didn't think people actually went 
                         to Yale.

                                     BART
                              (thinking)
                         I don't know. I mean, she drives off 
                         in her car in September. For all we 
                         know, she could just pull her car 
                         over in Albany and sleep there until 
                         May.

                                     KELLY
                         What do you mean?

                                     BART
                         It was a joke. Joke?

               Bart does some fake sign language to help Kelly out.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh. Is that what one of those sounds 
                         like? Somehow, I always imagined 
                         they would be funnier.

               Bart pushes Kelly, who grabs his arm like it got hurt.

                                     KELLY
                         Sarah Lawrence? Isn't that for 
                         lesbians?

               Bart shrugs.

                                     BART
                         What happened to your face?

                                     KELLY
                         Remember the backpack incident?

                                     BART
                         Same guy?

                                     KELLY
                         The one with mad cow-diseased 
                         hamburger meat for brains? That would 
                         be the one.

               Interested, Bart leans forward.

                                     BART
                         What are you going to do about it?

                                     KELLY
                         I'm not going to lower myself to his 
                         level.

                                     BART
                         Of course not. But there are 
                         alternatives.

                                     KELLY
                         Alternatives?

                                     BART
                         Haven't you ever heard of the 193rd 
                         Special Operations Wing?

               Kelly shakes his head.

                                     BART
                         Well do you want to get this guy or 
                         what?

                                     KELLY
                         Yes.

                                     BART
                         All right. Let's get the fuck out of 
                         here, then.

               Bart tosses his wrapper at the trashcan. Kelly watches it 
               hit the rim and go in.

                                     BART
                              (on the move)
                         I have some things to show you.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Bart and Kelly sit amidst a spread of books, papers, and 
               electronic equipment.

                                     BART
                         Once we've gathered the intelligence, 
                         the plan will reveal itself.

                                     KELLY
                         We don't plan first?

               Bart opens a pad.

                                     BART
                         No, it limits our scope - what's the 
                         objective?

                                     KELLY
                         Humiliation. Rage. Despair.

                                     BART
                         Easy enough. 'Nam's probably our go-
                         to war for that sort of thing. I 
                         have the declassified briefs from 
                         the Phoenix Project around here 
                         somewhere.

               Bart grabs a book and starts flipping through pages.

               Tabby enters with an armful of art supplies.

                                     TABBY
                         Hey. I have some stretcher bars out 
                         in the car. Can somebody help me 
                         bring them in?

                                     BART
                         Of course we'll drop what we're doing 
                         because what you're doing must be 
                         more important.

               Bart doesn't look up. He grabs another book.

                                     KELLY
                         Sure. I mean, I'll help.

               Bart raises his eyebrow. Kelly shrugs off the look.

                                     BART
                         I'll find those reports.

               INT. TABBY'S STUDIO - NIGHT

               Tabby drops the canvas and points at the table. Kelly dumps 
               the bars and stands there looking around.

               At the wood floors and skylights. Couch covered with a sheet.

               Painting, serious ones, with layers of paint and mysterious 
               objects stuck to them lay against the walls. They all seem 
               faded, like a vacation photo that's been through the wash.

               Kelly moves to the PAINTING on the easel.

               Very yellow and pink. Kind of looks like castles.

                                     KELLY
                         Gold. The color of the sun.

               Tabby wrestles with the bolt of canvas.

                                     TABBY
                         That's the Cleveland waterfront.

                                     KELLY
                         As the viewer, I get to decide what 
                         it is, I'm afraid. And it doesn't 
                         look a thing like it.

                                     TABBY
                         It's the light. I was playing with 
                         diffusion.

                                     KELLY
                         Well make sure you put it away when 
                         you're done with it.

                                     TABBY
                         Very funny, wiseass.

               Kelly resumes his tour of the room.

                                     KELLY
                         It must be nice to have a place like 
                         this to get away to.

                                     TABBY
                         It is.

                                     KELLY
                         What about Farmer?

                                     TABBY
                         Farmer?

               Tabby unrolls the canvas and measures lengths.

                                     KELLY
                         The boyfriend.

                                     TABBY
                              (laughs)
                         Miner? What about him?

                                     KELLY
                         Is he an artist, too?

                                     TABBY
                         No. Definitely not. Thank god.

               Kelly is silent for a while, fiddling with a clamp light.

                                     TABBY
                         You said your mom was a painter?

                                     KELLY
                         She was, well - is I guess.

               Tabby cuts the canvas.

                                     TABBY
                         What do you mean?

                                     KELLY
                         She used to be. But then my dad - 
                         wasn't working anymore so she turned 
                         it into a business. She has a family 
                         of Chinese immigrants in the garage 
                         making them for her.

                                     TABBY
                         Like Andy Warhol's Factory.

                                     KELLY
                         More like Andy Warhol's tool shed. 
                         It was nice before, though. My playpen 
                         used to be in her studio.

                                     TABBY
                         Wow. So you really grew up with it. 
                         What does, did, your dad do?

                                     KELLY
                         He's a VH-1 documentary without the 
                         music.

                                     TABBY
                         "Tragedy struck?"

               Kelly nods.

                                     KELLY
                         "And then, things took a turn for 
                         the worse."

                                     TABBY
                         Well, just wait. Those burnout types 
                         always have a triumphant comeback 
                         tour.

                                     KELLY
                         I already changed the channel.

               Tabby sits back on her heels and looks at him.

               Bart's head appears in the open door.

                                     BART
                         Christ Kelly, I let you go out on a 
                         little supply line assist and you're 
                         gone for days. Come on.

                                     TABBY
                         Have fun, boys.

                                     KELLY
                         If only it were fun. War's deadly 
                         serious, ma'am.

                                     TABBY
                              (to Bart)
                         And I used to think you were the 
                         only crazy one.

                                     BART
                         Enough with the mind pollution, Hanoi 
                         Hannah.

               Bart leaves. Kelly stands by the door. This is his only 
               chance.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm worried about you playing with 
                         diffusion unsupervised.

                                     TABBY
                         Are you?

                                     KELLY
                         Yes. I might have to come by and 
                         show you the proper safety procedures. 
                         Some time in the presence of an art 
                         prodigy would do you good.

                                     TABBY
                         I don't think I have room for a 
                         playpen in here.

                                     KELLY
                         Ouch.

               Tabby smiles. Kelly leaves.

               EXT. BOWLAND YARD - NIGHT

               Bart and Kelly walk across the yard.

                                     BART
                         So, you have a thing for my sister?

                                     KELLY
                         What? No, no.

                                     BART
                         Everybody does.

               They skirt around the pool.

                                     KELLY
                         We just have a few things in common.

                                     BART
                         Oh really, like what?

                                     KELLY
                         I can't tell you. It's my feminine 
                         side.

                                     BART
                         You don't wear women's clothes when 
                         you're alone, do you?

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               Kelly comes out of the kitchen with a glass of water in pajama 
               bottoms and a T-shirt. The TV's on static. He sees a FIGURE 
               sleeping on the couch and starts to walk through the room.

               Then he stops, sighs, and backtracks. He turns off the TV.

               Then he sees the empty bottle of wine next to the couch.

                                     KELLY
                         Dad.

               The figure doesn't move. Kelly doesn't know what to do.

                                     KELLY
                              (louder)
                         Dad?

               Kelly looks around, worried. In this house an unresponsive 
               dad isn't necessarily sleeping. Should he wake up his mom?

               He shakes the figure slightly. It rolls over, only it's not 
               his dad. It's some scabby ADDICT. Kelly yanks his hand away.

                                     ADDICT
                         Wha?

               A moment.

                                     KELLY
                         Sorry.

               EXT. ERNSWILER HOUSE, BACK YARD - NIGHT

               Abe sits on a lawn chair.

               Kelly comes out, unfolds another chair and sits next to his 
               dad - a good distance away.

               They both look up at the sky.

                                     ABE
                         Keller. There's a meteor shower.

               Kelly frowns.

                                     KELLY
                         A funny thing just happened. A little 
                         trip down memory lane. I thought you 
                         were on our couch, dead.

               Abe laughs.

                                     ABE
                         Oh, you mean Emmett? They didn't 
                         have an empty bed for him at Care 
                         House.

               Kelly nods, considering this.

                                     KELLY
                         Well that's one of your more brilliant 
                         ideas.
                              (anger rising)
                         Have you thought about the fact that 
                         it might be dangerous? That he might 
                         steal something, or go into cardiac 
                         arrest? Drink all our cooking wine? 
                         Which he seems to have done.

                                     ABE
                         He just needs a place to sleep for 
                         the night.

                                     KELLY
                         You're right. Besides, having him 
                         here makes it feel like home.

               Abe slams his hands down on the arms of his chair.

                                     ABE
                         I've been straight for four years, 
                         almost five. A third of your life.

               Kelly claps slowly.

                                     KELLY
                         Big whoop. I've been straight the 
                         whole time.

               Abe closes his eyes.

                                     ABE
                         I hate to tell you this, but I'm not 
                         your problem anymore.

               Kelly gets up.

                                     KELLY
                         No. That's the one thing I get to 
                         decide.

               Abe looks at Kelly.

                                     ABE
                         Let me know. I can wait.

               They look at each other. Kelly shakes his head and goes 
               inside. Abe looks up at the sky.

                                     ABE
                              (to himself)
                         Keller, there's a meteor shower.

               EXT. LANCE'S HOUSE - DAY

               In a backyard tree house next door sit Kelly and Bart, Kelly 
               looking through a pair of M3 field glasses.

                                     KELLY
                         I have the target in sight.

               BINOCULAR MATTE

               Through the twin circles Lance gets into his car in front of 
               his house.

                                     KELLY
                         I think he's leaving.

                                     BART
                         Let me see. Don't be a farb, give 
                         them up.

               Kelly hands the glasses over. Bart looks through them. Then 
               he puts them down.

                                     BART
                         The coast is clear.

               The boys looks at each other.

                                     BART
                         Let me prepare to deploy.

               Bart opens up a duffel bag and pulls out a yellow jumpsuit 
               which he puts on. Kelly looks through the binoculars.

                                     KELLY
                         Is this going to work?

                                     BART
                         We've planned for every contingency 
                         using the tried and true techniques 
                         of the last great world power.

                                     KELLY
                         Save it for the press conference.

               THE LAWN

               The boys climb down out of the tree house.

               Bart is dressed in an official-looking yellow jumpsuit with 
               telephone repairmen's tool hanging from his belt and a hard 
               hat on. Kelly carries a toolbox.

                                     BART
                         Stay low. On my signal.

               He looks at Kelly. Then he holds up one finger and gestures 
               "go." They sneak hunched over towards the fence. A LITTLE 
               GIRL comes out of the house and stops when she sees them.

               Bart and Kelly look at each other. Bart takes the toolbox 
               and gestures to Kelly by pointing at the girl and covering 
               his mouth.

               Kelly peels off towards the girl while Bart continues across 
               the lawn.

               The girl starts to SCREAM. Kelly swoops up and covers her 
               mouth with his hand. He tucks her under his arm and runs 
               towards the opposite side of the house.

               He puts the girl down, still covering her mouth.

                                     KELLY
                         We're the good guys. If you scream, 
                         the bad guys are going to come and 
                         burn down your house. Okay? So stay 
                         here and be quiet.

               The girl nods. Kelly takes his hand off her mouth and starts 
               to sneak away.

                                     GIRL
                         My dad has a gun.

               Kelly runs across the street to get a view of the front door.

               IN FRONT OF LANCE'S HOUSE

               Bart turns up the driveway and RINGS the doorbell.

               LANCE'S MOTHER opens the door. Bart confers with her briefly 
               and steps inside. The door closes behind him.

               Kelly stares so hard at the door he doesn't see the NEIGHBOR 
               come up behind him.

                                     NEIGHBOR
                         Can I help you, young man?

               Kelly starts and turns.

                                     KELLY
                         I was just inspecting your lawn.

               Kelly grabs a few blades of grass.

                                     KELLY
                         Have you thought about Astroturf? It 
                         takes a lot less water to keep green. 
                         I mean, no water, technically.

                                     NEIGHBOR
                         I'm not interested.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh. I see. Okay then.

               Kelly gets up and starts to walk down the street, only - 
               Lance PULLS UP in his SUV.

               Kelly darts behind a parked car and watches Lance go into 
               the house.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, shit.

               Lance comes right back out. He forgot something in his car.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, shit.

               Kelly moves around the car, trying to keep it between him 
               and Lance.

               Bart comes down the front walk whistling and eating a cookie. 
               He smiles at Lance, now coming back up the walk.

                                     LANCE
                         Smile worker bee. I'll be your boss 
                         some day.

               Bart nods and tips his HARD HAT.

               Kelly follows him on the other side of the row of cars until 
               Lance's house is out of sight.

               Then he gets in step beside Bart.

                                     BART
                         What an asshole. His mom gave me 
                         cookies, though.

                                     KELLY
                         Did you get it done?

                                     BART
                         Don't ask stupid questions. Let's go 
                         home and listen.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, BART'S ROOM - DAY

               The boys sit around an FM receiver/recorder.

                                     BART
                         It was a five-watt FM bug, so we 
                         should be in range -

               Bart FLIPS the ON switch and Lance's Mom's voice fills the 
               room.

               The boys smile with delight.

                                     LANCE'S MOM
                              (O.S.)
                         So then I told her, "Harriet, with 
                         potato salad like that it's no wonder 
                         Ray-Ray's cheating on you."

                                     WOMAN
                              (O.S.)
                         You didn't.

                                     LANCE'S MOM
                         You're right. But I was thinking it. 
                         Instead I just told her to add more 
                         vinegar next time, and -

               Kelly shakes his head as the women natter away.

                                     KELLY
                         I don't think we can use any of this.

                                     BART
                         Be patient. It's voice activated, so 
                         we'll get everything. Trust me. It's 
                         going to be great.

                                     KELLY
                         All right, then.

               Kelly gets up to leave while Bart fiddles with the knobs.

                                     BART
                         We reconnoiter tomorrow at nineteen 
                         hundred hours.

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

               Abe and Eve have dinner together.

                                     EVE
                         -- And if we don't sell them there, 
                         we'll set up on the corner of Stevens 
                         and Lane, by the gas station. That's 
                         a good location.

               Eve looks at her husband and sees he's not paying attention. 
               He seems a little out of it. He's pushing his food around on 
               his plate.

                                     EVE
                         Are you listening to me?

                                     ABE
                         Did you make this with more chili 
                         pepper than usual?

                                     EVE
                         The same as always.

               Kelly comes in, walks through the kitchen and up the stairs.

                                     EVE
                         Kelly. Want dinner?

                                     KELLY
                              (O.S.)
                         I ate.

               His parents eat for a minute in silence. Abe winces and puts 
               down his fork. Eve smiles tenderly at him.

                                     EVE
                         One day, we're all going to be happy.

               Abe puts his hand over hers.

                                     ABE
                         That sounds nice.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, BART'S ROOM - NIGHT

               Bart moves around the room excitedly.

                                     BART
                         It's really too perfect, actually.

                                     KELLY
                         What? What?

                                     BART
                         I can't describe. Just hit play. 
                         It's all cued up.

               Kelly hits a button. The tape clicks ON. From the speakers 
               comes:

                                     BRIDGET
                              (recorded)
                         I told you, that makes me nervous. 
                         Me no likey.

                                     LANCE
                         But baby, my birthday's coming up.

                                     BRIDGET
                         Still. That's not a good enough 
                         reason.

                                     LANCE
                         Come on. A little action. A little 
                         prime time action.

                                     BRIDGET
                         But people might see us.

                                     LANCE
                         That's the point. That's what makes 
                         it sexxxy. Dangerous.

               Kelly stops the tape.

                                     KELLY
                         Dangerous.

                                     BART
                         Exactly.

               Bart and Kelly share a look. Kelly grins.

                                     KELLY
                         Let's draw up the plans.

                                     BART
                         I have a few notes jotted down.

               All we have to do is fill in the details and let Operation 
               Deadmeat begin.

               INT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               Bridget primps at her locker while Kelly watches nervously 
               from his.

               When she starts to close the locker door, Kelly rushes towards 
               her and BUMPS into her. Her books and papers spill to the 
               floor.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh Jesus, I'm so sorry -

               He starts picking them up.

                                     BRIDGET
                         Oh, it's okay -

               She looks around. If Lance showed up it wouldn't be good for 
               either of them.

               Kelly hands her the rest of her stuff. They part ways.

               Kelly shoves a piece of paper into his pocket.

               Principal Holmstead CLICKS down the hall in her heels and 
               Kelly DUCKS into a doorway just in time. He turns and pretends 
               to look at a posted announcement as she passes.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, BART'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Bart inspects Bridget's book report with a jeweler's loop.

               He swings over to a piece of stationary Kelly's working on.

                                     BART
                         She dots her I's with hearts. And 
                         her L's are loopier. The L is very 
                         important.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm working on it.

               They both crouch over the paper.

                                     KELLY
                         I feel kind of bad for her. She's a 
                         nice girl.

                                     BART
                         Sometimes collateral damage can't be 
                         avoided.

                                     KELLY
                         Stop it.

               He pushes back from the table.

                                     KELLY
                         How does that look?

                                     BART
                              (inspecting)
                         Pretty good. I think we're ready to 
                         manufacture a document.

               Kelly takes out a fresh sheet of paper.

                                     BART
                              (clears his throat)
                         Begin. "Hey Daddy. It's your birthday 
                         and you've been a very bad boy. But 
                         so has the baby. Both baby and Daddy 
                         have to get punished, only this time 
                         -

               INT. LANCE'S ROOM - NIGHT

               Lance, shirtless, reads aloud from the letter.

                                     LANCE
                              (Cont.)
                         - baby makes the rules. Await further 
                         instructions at school tomorrow --

               EXT. STREET - DAY

               Bart wears his school uniform and sits in the passenger seat 
               next to Kelly.

                                     LANCE
                              (V.O. cont'd)
                         -- Baby will be waiting where Daddy 
                         least expects her. Love, Bridgie." 
                         Yes!

                                     BART
                         Do you have everything?

               Kelly just looks at him. Bart's already asked this question.

                                     BART
                         We can't afford any errors.

                                     KELLY
                         You don't need to tell me. It's my 
                         ass on the line.

               Kelly pulls up in front of Bart's school.

               Bart turns to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

                                     BART
                         I wish I could be there to see it.

                                     KELLY
                         You'll get the de-brief.

                                     BART
                         It's a day that will live in infamy.

                                     KELLY
                         You couldn't do any better than that?

                                     BART
                         I don't hear you coming up with 
                         anything.

               Bart hops out and salutes Kelly, who give him the thumbs up 
               in response and pulls away.

               INT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               Lance can't keep his hands off Bridget.

                                     BRIDGET
                         What's gotten into you?

                                     LANCE
                         Nothing, you bad girl.

               Lance cackles.

                                     BRIDGET
                         Did you drink a bottle of Robitussin 
                         before school again?

               The bell RINGS.

                                     LANCE
                         See you soon, my naughty baby.

               Bridget looks a little scared.

               INT. HISTORY CLASS

               Lance slouches into a seat next to Kelly, who drops another 
               STATIONARY NOTE into Lance's open backpack.

               Kelly watches as Lance grabs his book, sees the note, opens 
               it, and leers.

                                     LANCE
                         It's my birthday! I'm going to get a 
                         present.

               Kelly looks down at his desk and smiles.

                                     LANCE
                         Damn it, fuckface. What're you smiling 
                         about? You wish you were me.

               Lance raises his hand.

                                     LANCE
                         Mr. Palmer? May I be excused?

               Lance leaves like a house afire.

                                     KELLY
                              (to himself)
                         Eine maus findet den kase.

               INT. HALL

               Lance sneaks down the hall towards the STORAGE CLOSET and 
               whispers into the door.

                                     LANCE
                         Daddy's here for the Easter egg hunt.

               He pulls open the door. Nothing.

               INT. STORAGE CLOSET

               Lance turns on the light. No one there.

               But propped up on the shelf next to a vase with a rose in it 
               is another note.

                                     LANCE
                         Ooh, push my buttons.

               He snatches the note. His eyes widen as he reads.

                                     LANCE
                         Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You little minx.

               INT. LANGELY PREP, BATHROOM - DAY

               Bart crouches in the stall, looking at his watch.

               When the second hand sweeps past the twelve, he opens his 
               cell phone and punches in a number.

                                     BART
                              (serious grownup voice)
                         Yes, I need to get a message to 
                         Bridget Shumann. This is MENSA.

               INT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH, CAFETERIA/GYM - DAY

               Lunchtime. Typical bedlam. KIDS mill around.

               At one end of the cafeteria/gym is a small stage, the kind 
               pep rallies are held on.

               Lance edges his way through the crowd, making a beeline for 
               the STAGE DOOR.

               INT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH, MAIN OFFICE

               A confused Bridget stands at the SECRETARY'S desk.

                                     BRIDGET
                         But I just got this note last period.

                                     SECRETARY
                         Well I don't have anything here for 
                         you - let me look again. Oh yes, the 
                         MENSA called.

               The secretary hands Bridget the message. She looks at it.

                                     BRIDGET
                         Cool. They want me to be an honorary 
                         member.
                              (pause)
                         Is that like a sorority or something?

               INT. BACKSTAGE

               Lance looks around eagerly.

               He peeks through the curtains at all the kids and can barely 
               contain his excitement.

                                     LANCE
                         Bridgie? Come on, daddy's sick. He 
                         needs his medicine.

               He spots a WOMAN in the shadows.

               It must be Bridget.

               He unbuckles his pants and lets them drop to him knees.

                                     LANCE
                         I brought our friend along. He's 
                         happy to see you.

               He rips off his shirt and shuffles across the dark stage 
               toward her.

               INT. LIGHTING BOOTH

               Kelly looks at his watch.

               INT. LANGELY PREP CLASSROOM

               Bart looks at his watch in anticipation.

               INT. LIGHTING BOOTH

               Kelly flicks a switch and presses a button.

               INT. CAFETERIA

               The crowd falls silent and turns towards the mechanical sound 
               of the STAGE CURTAIN OPENING.

               They squint from the BRIGHT STAGE LIGHTS.

               SHOCK ripples through the crowd as they take in the tableau 
               revealed to them:

               A frozen half-naked Lance on his knees before a BLOW-UP DOLL 
               tied to a chair.

                                     LANCE
                         What the fuck are you all looking 
                         at?

               Bridget, standing in the doorway, covers her mouth in horror.

                                     STUDENT 1
                         Look, he's got a hard on.

                                     STUDENT 2
                         Eeeeew.

               Lance stumbles off stage to HOOTS and CATCALLS, but mostly 
               hysterical LAUGHTER.

               INT. LIGHTING BOOTH

               Kelly smiles, laughs and claps his hands with delight. Then 
               he returns to military precision. He turns all the switches 
               back to how they were and uses his shirtsleeve to cover the 
               doorknob so as not to leave fingerprints.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, DAD'S LIBRARY - NIGHT

               Bart pours them two glasses of his dad's scotch. He's 
               overjoyed.

                                     BART
                         You're kidding me.

                                     KELLY
                         Yup. There it was. The whole school 
                         saw it. Wasn't too impressive either.

               They raise their glasses to each other.

                                     BART
                         To Operation Mincemeat.

                                     KELLY
                         To the 193rd.

               They both take swallows of scotch. Kelly retches.

                                     BART
                         How does it feel to give better than 
                         you get?

               Kelly finishes his scotch.

                                     KELLY
                         Good. Real good.

                                     BART
                         You want some more?

                                     KELLY
                              (croaking)
                         Don't mind if I do.

                                     BART
                         That's my boy.

               The drink again. Kelly's feet are up. For the first time, he 
               looks comfortable.

               INT. SUPERMARKET - NIGHT

               Sarah stands at her register, flipping through a magazine.

               Kelly pulls up on the ELECTRO-SHOPPER with field goggles on.

                                     KELLY
                         You know what this is?

               He puts his foot down like a kickstand.

                                     KELLY
                         Eighteen volts of pure freedom.

                                     SARAH
                         Sounds dangerous.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, it is. Unless you know how to 
                         handle it.

               Kelly runs his hand lovingly along the frame. Then he looks 
               up at Sarah.

                                     KELLY
                         You ever seen the freshly waxed floor 
                         in the produce section glistening 
                         under full florescence? It's 
                         breathtaking.

               Sarah gets on behind him.

                                     KELLY
                         Hold on tight.

               He puts his foot up and kicks it into gear.

               The Electro-shopper takes off - barely. Kelly takes the corner 
               too sharp and clips the edge of an END CAP DISPLAY of cereal 
               boxes -- they fall to the floor.

               The Electro-shopper inches forward.

                                     KELLY
                         Close call.

                                     SARAH
                         Have you been drinking?

               INT. PARENT'S BEDROOM - MORNING

               Kelly looks in at his parents, checking to make sure they're 
               still asleep.

               When he leaves ABE opens his eyes and listens to the door 
               CLOSE downstairs.

               INT. EVE'S STUDIO

               Kelly throws some paints and brushes into his backpack.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly stands awkwardly on the front stoop with his backpack. 
               Minnie opens the door.

                                     MINNIE
                         Kelly? Bart's not here, he -

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, that's all right. Actually, I'm 
                         here to see Tabby. Just to do a little 
                         painting with her.

                                     MINNIE
                         She's out back in her studio.

                                     KELLY
                         Thanks.

               INT. TABBY'S STUDIO

               Tabby stands barefoot in the sunlight, a palette knife in 
               her hand.

               Music's playing. Jeff Buckley. She looks over as the door 
               opens, surprised.

                                     TABBY
                         Kelly?

                                     KELLY
                         Hey. I warned you I'd come.

                                     TABBY
                         You did.

               She goes back to painting. Kelly stands there for a minute, 
               waiting for her to say something else, give him an invitation.

               She doesn't. Until she looks up and sees him standing in the 
               same place.

                                     KELLY
                         Maybe I should go --

                                     TABBY
                         Well you're here now. Go ahead. Set 
                         your canvas up. Use one of the ones 
                         in the corner.

               Kelly looks through them and picks one.

                                     TABBY
                         Brushes are in the jar. Paint's in 
                         the drawer.

                                     KELLY
                         I brought my own.

               He takes off his backpack and opens it.

                                     TABBY
                         Well then.

               Kelly busies himself pulling out paints and other supplies.

               He can't help but look at her. The light hits her hair and 
               she glows. She catches him looking.

                                     KELLY
                         Does it mess up your concentration? 
                         Me being here?

                                     TABBY
                         No.

               She turns back to her painting.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh. That's good.

               Kelly sets up his canvas.

                                     TABBY
                         Just don't talk.

                                     KELLY
                         Why would I?

                                     TABBY
                              (pause)
                         I'm kidding.

                                     KELLY
                         Right. Irony. I like that.

               Kelly feels the tubes of paint. Nervous. Squirts some color 
               out. Looks over his shoulder at her.

               He's trying to get his act together, to be cool about being 
               there, in the studio, alone with her. Trying to figure out 
               how to play it.

                                     MINER
                              (O.S.)
                         Hey! Hey babe.

               Miner opens the door. See Kelly. Smiles like the stockbroker 
               he is and crosses to him.

                                     MINER
                         Miner Webber.

               Miner holds out his hand for a good old-fashioned shake.

               Kelly takes it.

                                     KELLY
                         Webber Miner.

               Miner looks confused.

                                     TABBY
                         Kelly. This is Kelly -

                                     KELLY
                         Kelly Ernswiler. Sorry. I -

                                     MINER
                         Quite all right.
                              (smiles as an 
                              afterthought)
                         So, what do we have here, a little 
                         painting class?

                                     TABBY
                         Kelly's a friend of Bart's. He paints.

                                     MINER
                         Oh? What's your real job?

               Kelly smiles eagerly at Miner over the edge of his canvas.

                                     KELLY
                         That would be stock boy at the Shop 
                         Rite. But, as President Don Kaminsky 
                         says, every employee is part owner. 
                         So you could say I'm a captain-of-
                         industry in training. Kind of 
                         capitalist larva.

                                     MINER
                         That's quite an image.

                                     KELLY
                         Only if you see the most magical 
                         part. Do you see?

                                     MINER
                         What?

               Kelly spreads his arms out and flaps them a little.

                                     KELLY
                         One day I'll be a beautiful butterfly. 
                         First I'll have to be a pupa though. 
                         I figure I won't be going out much 
                         then. Pupa: the awkward adolescence 
                         of the insect world.

               Miner stares at Kelly. He can't tell what he might be making 
               fun of, or if it might be him.

                                     MINER
                         Whatever it takes to get you through 
                         the day.

               Kelly rolls his eyes at this uninspired response, though 
               Miner doesn't see it. He grabs Tabby's paintbrush and pulls 
               her to him.

                                     MINER
                         I have the afternoon off. Come away 
                         with me.

                                     TABBY
                         I'm not at a good stopping point.

                                     MINER
                         Oh, come on. They'll still be here.
                              (to Kelly)
                         I know you'll still be here.

               Kelly smiles his most idiotic energetic smile and slaps paint 
               on his canvas in exaggerated strokes.

                                     TABBY
                         I really shouldn't.

                                     MINER
                         But everyone will be coming soon. 
                         And it will get all crazy, and we 
                         won't have any time to ourselves.

                                     TABBY
                         We will. I promise.

               Tabby kisses Miner. He realizes there's no convincing her 
               and sighs.

                                     MINER
                         Like tonight? We can practice 
                         honeymoon suite.

                                     TABBY
                         Maybe. Probably.

               Miner looks at Kelly, who looks away.

               Then he puts his hands in his pockets and leaves.

               Tabby and Kelly paint in silence for a while. Kelly moves 
               around to look at his canvas from different angles, like 
               he's copying what he thinks a painter would do.

                                     KELLY
                         Is he always like that?

                                     TABBY
                         Like what?

                                     KELLY
                         Overbearing.

               Tabby stops and puts down her brush.

                                     TABBY
                         Just because he didn't want to picture 
                         you as a pupa?

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, he will - later. When he's alone. 
                         Whether he wants to or not.

               Kelly paints.

                                     KELLY
                         Not that though. How he wanted you 
                         to stop.

                                     TABBY
                         He wants to be with me. What's so 
                         bad about that?

                                     KELLY
                         Just because some one wants to be 
                         with you doesn't mean they're good 
                         for you.

               Kelly is suddenly very involved with his painting. He has a 
               hard time making eye contact with Tabby.

                                     KELLY
                         No one should ever ask you to stop. 
                         If you stop, you might not be able 
                         to start again. Or you might start 
                         again, only things will be different.

                                     TABBY
                         Well, that's sweet -

                                     KELLY
                         It's not sweet, actually. It's just 
                         the truth.

                                     TABBY
                         Hey, I can take care of myself.

               She picks up her brush.

                                     KELLY
                         When's the wedding?

                                     TABBY
                         At the end of the month. But don't 
                         ask me about it. It makes me nervous.

               Kelly looks at her seriously.

                                     KELLY
                         Why? Is something wrong?

                                     TABBY
                         No.

               Awkward silence.

                                     TABBY
                         What are you painting?

               Kelly stops and sighs, now back in serious artist mode.

                                     KELLY
                         Really, there are so many layers of 
                         - imagistic symbolism - that I really 
                         don't feel comfortable summing it 
                         up, but, well - it's a recurring 
                         dream image. A mermaid riding a rocket 
                         ship.

               Tabby stops painting.

                                     TABBY
                         How?

                                     KELLY
                         What do you mean, "how?" Sidesaddle. 
                         She's riding it sidesaddle. She's 
                         got a fish tail, for chrissake. I 
                         haven't decided yet if she's got 
                         scuba gear on or not.

                                     TABBY
                         Do you have any idea what you're 
                         talking about?

               Kelly puts up his thumb in an approximation of an artist's 
               gesture.

                                     KELLY
                         Does that matter?

                                     TABBY
                         Well, some people actually say what 
                         they really think.

                                     KELLY
                         What if they don't know what they 
                         really think?

                                     TABBY
                         It doesn't matter. It's called being 
                         yourself.

                                     KELLY
                         Sounds boring.

                                     TABBY
                         Not boring. Scary and wonderful and 
                         exciting.

               Kelly stops squeezing paint onto his palette. His gestures 
               slow down. He's taking this in. Then he shakes it off.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey. I'm trying to create here. Stop 
                         distracting me.

               INT. EVE'S STUDIO - NIGHT

               Kelly comes in to return the art supplies.

               Xiou-Xiou's alone working. She looks up and smiles at Kelly.

                                     KELLY
                         Mom's got you working late?

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         No.

               Kelly walks over and sees what she's working on. A beautiful 
               spare Chinese landscape.

                                     KELLY
                         Wow. You're really good. Why do you 
                         make those stupid animals for mom?

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         Each painting is a lesson. Here -

               She gets out a piece of paper for him.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm making a lot of art these days. 
                         I guess that means a lot of lessons.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         Each line has a whole drawing 
                         contained in it. Each drawing has a 
                         whole life contained in it.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, that's all?

               Kelly watches her for a minute, the delicate whoop and swirl 
               of her strokes.

               He dips a brush into the ink and watches Xiou-Xiou's 
               restrained and confident movements.

               Eve leans against the doorframe.

                                     EVE
                         Hey you two. I'll try not to act 
                         surprised. It might spoil the moment.

               Kelly puts down the paintbrush.

                                     KELLY
                         I can't do this. I have to go.

                                     EVE
                         Keller, I think I'm missing some art 
                         supplies. Have you seen them around 
                         the house?

               Kelly avoids her eyes as he leaves.

                                     KELLY
                         No, I haven't.

                                     EVE
                         I don't know what to do with him.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         You son is not yet cooked. Give him 
                         time.

               Eve looks over Xiou-Xiou's shoulder.

                                     EVE
                         When are you going to let me give 
                         you your own show? We could do it 
                         for real.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         No problem. When you offer me an 
                         eighty-twenty split.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, DINING ROOM - NIGHT

               Kelly eats with the Bowlands - Bart's mom, MATHILDA, his dad 
               HARRISON, and Tabby and Bart.

               The Bowlands dress up a bit for dinner, like any good Wasp 
               family.

                                     BART
                              (to Harrison)
                         -- But I told you I want to take 
                         German --

                                     HARRISON
                         German's a Cold War language. You 
                         can't get any kind of State Department 
                         position without more diverse 
                         linguistic training than that. You'll 
                         take Chinese.

               Bart frowns.

                                     HARRISON
                         Are we on the same page?

                                     BART
                              (mutters)
                         Same page.

               Everyone eats in silence.

                                     MATHILDA
                              (to Tabby)
                         So darling, when are you going to 
                         bite the bullet and do the seating 
                         arrangement?

               Tabby puts down her fork.

                                     TABBY
                         I can't deal with that stuff, ma. I 
                         don't care who sits next to whom. I 
                         should have eloped.

                                     KELLY
                         After all, Mrs. Bowland, sometimes 
                         when you bite the bullet, it explodes 
                         in your mouth.

               Mathilda looks surprised. This could go either way.

                                     MATHILDA
                              (tentatively)
                         Why, I've never thought about it 
                         before but that is a rather strange 
                         expression, isn't it? You wouldn't 
                         say, "Sooner or later you've got to 
                         put the grenade in your pants," would 
                         you?

                                     HARRISON
                         But have you ever noticed how in 
                         movies they always bite the grenade 
                         before they throw it?

                                     KELLY
                         Yeah, but they never take a bite out 
                         of their pants.

               Everyone but Bart LAUGHS.

               Tabby throws Kelly a grateful glance, for getting her out of 
               a conversation she didn't want to have.

                                     MATHILDA
                         What an unusual conversation! Do you 
                         have similar discussions at the dinner 
                         table with your family, Kelly?

                                     KELLY
                         Basically. I ask why all the furniture 
                         is missing and my Dad reminisces 
                         about dropping acid and watching 
                         Neil Armstrong walk on the moon.

               All but Bart LAUGHS again.

                                     TABBY
                         He talks about art.

                                     BART/MATHILDA
                         You do?

               Kelly looks down at his plate.

                                     KELLY
                         My mother's kind of an artist, so -

                                     HARRISON
                         You come from a creative family, do 
                         you?

               Mathilda salts her food.

                                     MATHILDA
                         I wish my boys would talk to me about 
                         my passions. I can't get them anywhere 
                         near the subject of my garden.

                                     KELLY
                         I noticed your magnolias. Very fine 
                         specimens.

                                     MATHILDA
                         They are fine, aren't they?

               Mathilda beams.

                                     BART
                              (ironic)
                         Is there nothing you can't discuss?

               If anyone notices the slight edge to Bart's voice, they ignore 
               it.

                                     HARRISON
                         Here, Kelly, try a bit of these leeks. 
                         Minnie has a way with the white sauce.

               INT. BART'S ROOM

               Kelly and Bart play PlayStation II "Medal of Honor" in Bart's 
               bedroom. Bart is sulking, almost imperceptibly.

                                     BART
                         My dad has this friend who's a 
                         director. He's shooting a documentary 
                         for the History Channel.

                                     KELLY
                         Cool.

                                     BART
                         He needs some guys to do a reenactment 
                         of some European theater battles for 
                         him.

               Kelly stops playing and looks at Bart.

                                     KELLY
                         We're going to be on the History 
                         Channel?

               Bart's eyes stay on the screen.

                                     BART
                         I haven't asked you yet.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh, come on.

               Kelly jabs at his controller.

                                     BART
                         Well, if you want to. Next weekend. 
                         But you have to take it seriously.

               Kelly gives Bart a derisive glance.

                                     KELLY
                         What do you mean? Of course I will.

               The flickering TV light illuminates Bart's pinched look.

                                     BART
                         From what I've seen, you play fast 
                         and loose with your characterizations. 
                         This has got to be straight up.

               This annoys Kelly.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm not "fast and loose." I play the 
                         emotional truth. I make it real.

               Bart glances at him.

                                     BART
                         Like back in the dining room?

                                     KELLY
                         What does that have to do with it?

               Bart shakes his head.

                                     BART
                              (mimics)
                         "I noticed your magnolias. Very fine 
                         specimens." That was real?

               Kelly's video game character dies. He drops the controller.

                                     KELLY
                         What is this about?

                                     BART
                              (shrugs)
                         You just seem to have your own agenda, 
                         that's all.

               Bart plays on. He's keeping a lid on everything while Kelly 
               gets more and more agitated.

                                     KELLY
                         My own agenda? What other reason is 
                         there to do anything?

                                     BART
                         I'm just saying. I know the difference 
                         between fantasy and reality.

               Kelly looks at Bart in disbelief.

                                     KELLY
                         Are you saying I don't?

               Bart won't meet his eyes.

                                     BART
                         I don't know.

               Bart pauses the game.

                                     BART
                         Why didn't you tell me your dad was 
                         a burn-out?

               Kelly gets up and grabs his jacket.

                                     KELLY
                         Why do you steal from yours?

               He leaves. Bart un-pauses the game and continues playing.

               INT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               Kelly drinks from the fountain and wipes his mouth on his 
               sleeve.

               Principal Holmstead's smiling face greets him when he 
               straightens up.

                                     PRINCIPAL
                         Kelly! I told some of your teachers 
                         about your presentation. We're all 
                         really looking forward to it.

               Kelly frowns at the Principal's back as she CLICKS away.

               Sarah appears. They walk down the hall together.

                                     SARAH
                         What presentation?

                                     KELLY
                         I don't want to talk about it. As a 
                         matter of fact, do me a favor and 
                         pretend you never heard anything 
                         about it.

                                     SARAH
                         Okay. Um.

                                     KELLY
                         What, Sarah?

                                     SARAH
                         It's nothing. I -

               Kelly starts to pull ahead.

                                     SARAH
                         I have an extra ticket to Aerosmith 
                         this weekend.

                                     KELLY
                         Aw Sarah, that's really great, I 
                         mean. It's just that - I'm busy.

                                     SARAH
                         Oh. Yeah, I figured. Okay. I'll see 
                         you in the dairy section, though.

                                     KELLY
                         Right.

               She stands there looking lost.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly smoothes the cover over his Jeep. Bart pulls up to the 
               curb in his BMW.

                                     KELLY
                         What are you doing here?

                                     BART
                         I tracked you down. There's someone 
                         I'd like you to meet.

               INT. OLD SOLDIERS' HOME - DAY

               A few OLD SOLDIERS sit sunning in chairs in the industrial 
               feeling living-room.

               Bart and Kelly sit across from CHARLIE HAYES, an old black 
               guy, playing dominos.

                                     CHARLIE
                              (to Kelly)
                         Are you one too?

                                     KELLY
                         Yup.

                                     CHARLIE
                         And what do you see in that?

                                     KELLY
                         Living, dying, camaraderie, bravery 
                         - the big stuff. Things we don't 
                         have anymore.

                                     CHARLIE
                         I see.

               Charlie sorts his tiles and scowls. He leans in to Kelly's 
               face, giving him the eye.

                                     CHARLIE
                         And do you think it's brave getting 
                         trench foot and syphilis, eating 
                         another ration of spoiled frank and 
                         beans out of a dented can?

               Kelly is taken aback by this.

                                     KELLY
                         Well, no -

               Charlie leans back and nods, thinking about Kelly's response. 
               He no longer seems angry.

                                     CHARLIE
                         Yeah, that wouldn't be much fun, 
                         would it?

                                     KELLY
                         No, sir.

               Charlie sets down a tile and pulls at his chin.

                                     CHARLIE
                         Parts of it were kind of fun though. 
                         I got separated from my platoon and 
                         lived for two weeks in the forest of 
                         the Ardennes living off what I could 
                         kill.
                              (pause)
                         I felt very close to the land.

               Bart gives Kelly a significant look. Kelly doesn't notice.

               He's looking closely at Charlie.

               EXT. GAS STATION - DAY

               Kelly sits in the car. Bart pumps gas. They talk through the 
               window.

                                     BART
                         I met him when my mom made me go 
                         around caroling with the Youth Group.

                                     KELLY
                         You don't really believe that stuff 
                         about Berlin? And Hitler's compound?

                                     BART
                         Does it matter?

                                     KELLY
                         Of course it matters. Doesn't the 
                         truth matter?

               Bart grins.

                                     BART
                         I don't know. You tell me.

               Kelly avoids this by getting out of the car.

                                     KELLY
                         I want a drink. Let me borrow a couple 
                         bucks.

                                     BART
                         I told you not to play him for money.

                                     KELLY
                         I was trying to be nice. He's your 
                         friend.

               Bart returns the pump and screws in the gas cap.

                                     BART
                         Exactly. You should know better. 
                         What do you want.

                                     KELLY
                         Mountain Dew -

               Just then he glances towards the gas station and sees EVE, 
               set up in the adjacent abandoned lot. She's got the van parked 
               there with the sliding door open and paintings propped around 
               on display.

                                     KELLY
                         -- Oh shit.

               But Eve has seen him. She shields her eyes with her hand and 
               calls to him.

                                     EVE
                         Kelly!

               Kelly backtracks towards the car.

                                     BART
                         That woman's calling you.

               Eve walks over to them. Kelly can't get out of it.

                                     KELLY
                              (low)
                         Bart. Meet my mom.

               Eve smiles brightly.

                                     EVE
                         What a nice surprise. It's so nice 
                         to finally meet you.

               Bart is surprised but recovers his manners quickly, just 
               like he's been taught to.

                                     BART
                         Likewise. So, doing a little business?

                                     EVE
                         A little is right. But I work it as 
                         much as I can.

               Eve laughs.

               Kelly shifts his weight from foot to foot. Eve looks at both 
               of them.

                                     EVE
                         So, what have you boys been up to?

                                     KELLY
                         Bart took me to meet his friend 
                         Charlie at the Old Soldiers' Home.

                                     EVE
                         Charlie at the Old Soldiers' Home?

                                     KELLY
                         You don't know him.

                                     EVE
                         You boys should swing by Care House. 
                         There are some Vets there.

                                     KELLY
                         We can't.

                                     EVE
                         Oh. Well - okay.

               Eve watches a car pull into the lot next to the van.

                                     EVE
                         I should go. But you boys should 
                         come over to our house some time.
                              (to Bart)
                         I know your family must get tired of 
                         him.

               Kelly visibly bristles at the thought of his parents 
               entertaining Bart.

                                     BART
                         Not at all. But I'd love to, anyway.

               Eve looks at Kelly. Then she runs back over to the van.

                                     KELLY
                         There you go. Now you know everything.

                                     BART
                         What's your problem? She's pretty 
                         cute.

               Kelly rolls his eyes and gets back in the car.

                                     BART
                         Don't you want your soda?

                                     KELLY
                         Forget it.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, BART'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Kelly watches Bart pick through parts of his uniform.

               After the encounter with mom, he's retreated into himself.

                                     BART
                         So filming's on Saturday. Can you 
                         make it?

                                     KELLY
                         Are you kidding?

                                     BART
                         Good. It's gonna be really cool. 
                         He's got an explosives expert coming.

               Kelly doesn't say anything.

                                     BART
                         What's up?

               Kelly runs his hand through his hair. He can't bring himself 
               to say what's really on his mind.

                                     KELLY
                         Remember that stupid speech?

               Kelly picks up Bart's Colt and sights with it. Bart frowns.

               He knows Kelly's avoiding the real stuff.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm supposed to give it next week.

               Bart polishes his combat boots.

                                     BART
                         Maybe you should talk to my dad about 
                         it.

                                     KELLY
                         You think he'd go for that?

               Bart keeps his head down, polishes intently.

                                     BART
                         Of course. He loves you. He was 
                         talking the other day about helping 
                         you out.
                              (ironic)
                         Want to go to Dartmouth?

                                     KELLY
                         Are you serious?

                                     BART
                         He was. If you applied for Spring 
                         Semester, he could "pull some 
                         strings."

                                     KELLY
                              (shakes his head slowly)
                         I don't think that would work for 
                         me. Considering -- my background.

                                     BART
                         Yeah, probably not.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm not properly socialized. I 
                         wouldn't fit in.

               Bart checks his bandoleer and cartridges.

                                     BART
                         That's bullshit.

                                     KELLY
                         No, it's not.

                                     BART
                         Tell that to my family. They're like 
                         your fucking fan club.

               Bart pauses, darts his eyes at Kelly.

                                     BART
                         Even Tabby likes you.

                                     KELLY
                         So much she ratted me out to you.

                                     BART
                         Well, she's inviting you to the 
                         wedding.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh.

               Bart watches Kelly's face.

                                     BART
                         But you probably won't enjoy that 
                         much, will you?

                                     KELLY
                         I don't know what you're talking 
                         about. Weddings? I love weddings. I 
                         always get drunk and make out with 
                         someone's cousin.

               Bart throws his olive drab socks at Kelly's head.

                                     BART
                         Good, I'll call mom's nephew Fletcher 
                         and tell him to expect a little 
                         action.

                                     KELLY
                         Fletcher, eh?

                                     BART
                         He's twelve. Let me give some advice. 
                         He's very into sharks at the moment.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - NIGHT

               Kelly waves to Minnie and goes out the front door.

               There he pauses, trying to decide what to do. Then he scowls.

               He goes around the corner. Towards Tabby's studio.

               INT. TABBY'S STUDIO

               Tabby sits on the couch facing away from the door. Kelly 
               enters.

                                     KELLY
                         Why did you tell --

               Tabby turns toward him. She's crying.

                                     KELLY
                         What? Oh, I'm sorry.

               He knows he should leave, but Kelly just stands there.

               Kelly runs his hand along his pants in a nervous gesture.

               Tabby dabs at her face.

                                     TABBY
                         Miner and I broke up.

               Beat.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm sorry.

                                     TABBY
                         Yeah.

                                     KELLY
                         Honestly? I didn't think you two 
                         were right for each other.

                                     TABBY
                         You did, huh?

               Kelly walks over to her painting.

                                     KELLY
                         Like this painting. Stare at it too 
                         long and you can't see it anymore. 
                         But if someone else sees it for the 
                         first time, they can tell exactly 
                         what it is.

                                     TABBY
                         I don't need any more bullshit right 
                         now.

               Kelly stops, taken aback. He walks away from the painting.

                                     KELLY
                         He could never understand you.

                                     TABBY
                         I'm not as complicated as you think.

               Kelly walks to the window and looks out.

                                     KELLY
                         I never said you were complicated.

               Tabby laughs/cries at this.

                                     TABBY
                         Oh.

                                     KELLY
                         He just wasn't the right one.

               Tabby nods. She's starting to calm down a little.

                                     TABBY
                         There's more to it than that.

               Tabby looks at her shredded tissue. Kelly sits down on the 
               couch next to her.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm really sorry. I really am.

                                     TABBY
                         Thanks.

               Kelly pats her knee awkwardly.

                                     KELLY
                         Don't cry.

               Tabby turns her face to Kelly's.

                                     TABBY
                         You like me, don't you?

                                     KELLY
                         Of course.

               Tabby closes her eyes.

                                     TABBY
                         No, I mean -- you like me.

               Kelly looks scared. He wants to retreat. But he calms himself 
               down.

                                     KELLY
                         Yeah. I think you're amazing.

                                     TABBY
                         Well, do something.

               Long pause. Then -- Kelly kisses her. She kisses back and 
               they fall against the couch together.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - NIGHT

                                     BART
                              (O.S.)
                         All right, all right. I'm going.

               Bart comes out in his pajamas to turn off the sprinkler. He 
               looks up and freezes.

               Kelly comes out of Tabby's studio. He shuts the door carefully 
               and walks around the pool.

               Kelly doesn't see Bart.

               Bart doesn't say anything. He just watches Kelly go.

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly throws parts of his soldier's kit onto his bed from 
               corners of the room. The canteen underhand. The Jeep cap as 
               a free throw. This is the best day of his life.

               Until he finds his uniform crumpled up behind the door, still 
               crusted with mud.

                                     KELLY
                         Damn it. Damn it.

               He flops on his bed. But he can't help it. Soon he's smiling 
               again. He gets up, gathers up the uniform, and tears out of 
               the room.

               INT. KITCHEN

               Kelly comes down the stairs two at a time, singing.

               Eve and Abe watch surprised from the table. Abe looks pale.

                                     KELLY
                         What?

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, BART'S ROOM - NIGHT

               Bart sits in his desk chair, frowning.

               Mathilda knocks and opens the door.

                                     MATHILDA
                         Minnie's starting dinner. Is Kelly 
                         coming over?

                                     BART
                         Not tonight, ma.

               Mathilda pauses and looks at her son.

                                     MATHILDA
                         Okay, then.

               EXT. BATTLEFIELD - DAY

               An ASSISTANT DIRECTOR and CAMERAMAN unload equipment from a 
               van.

               The DIRECTOR looks off into the distance, trying to visualize.

               Kelly pulls up next to the van. He wears a spotlessly clean 
               uniform.

                                     DIRECTOR
                         Are you with the 101st or the 82nd?

                                     KELLY
                         Well, 82nd today. It's not my usual 
                         division. Technically, my patches 
                         indicate -

                                     DIRECTOR
                         Whatever. Make yourself comfortable. 
                         We'll be a while setting up. Some of 
                         the other boys are over by craft 
                         service.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh?

               Kelly doesn't go anywhere.

                                     DIRECTOR
                         The snack table. It's over there. 
                         Someone will come get you when we're 
                         ready.

                                     KELLY
                         Right. Is Bart Bowland here yet?

                                     DIRECTOR
                         Bart? Oh, Harrison's son. I don't 
                         know.

                                     KELLY
                         Ok. Thanks.

               CRAFT SERVICE

               Kelly and a half dozen other SOLDIERS stand or sit in the 
               grass around the table. They talk and rest on their backpacks.

               A MAKEUP ARTIST makes the rounds.

                                     MAKEUP ARTIST
                              (to Kelly)
                         And you are?

                                     KELLY
                         Kelly Ernswiler, private first class.

                                     MAKEUP ARTIST
                         All right, Kelly. Let's take a look 
                         at you.

               She gets out some pomade and runs a comb through his hair, 
               slicking it back.

                                     MAKEUP ARTIST
                         That's it, handsome.

               Kelly grins. When she walks away he messes up his hair again.

               He scans the crowd. No Bart.

               The A.D. walks over.

                                     A.D.
                         Okay, everyone. We're going to start 
                         positioning. Then we'll go through a 
                         few rehearsals.
                              (points at soldiers)
                         You, you and you - go over there by 
                         that tree. You and you guys, behind 
                         the hill.
                              (looks at clipboard)
                         Okay, who's got the Jeep?

                                     KELLY
                         That MG? She's mine.

                                     A.D.
                         Great. We'd like to use it. Can you 
                         drive it beyond the hill over there?

               Kelly tries to act casual.

                                     KELLY
                         Sure. I don't think that would be a 
                         problem.

               He walks towards his Jeep and pauses.

                                     KELLY
                         Have you seen Bart Bowland? Has he 
                         checked in?

                                     A.D.
                         Don't know. We've got enough people. 
                         It doesn't matter.

               Kelly nods, wondering a bit. But it's soon forgotten.

                                     KELLY
                              (to Jeep)
                         Hot Lips, old girl, you're going to 
                         be famous.

                                     A.D.
                              (yells)
                         Okay people. Listen to my voice. 
                         From now on, you do whatever this 
                         voice says. Take your place.

               BEHIND THE HILL

               Kelly waits with his rifle next to his Jeep, bored.

               He sees a FIGURE in the shadows of the trees.

               He raises his rifle and points it at the figure.

                                     KELLY
                         Password.

               Bart steps out of the barn.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey! Where the hell have you been?

                                     BART
                         No where.

                                     KELLY
                         They put you over here with me? That's 
                         great. I think we'll get some close-
                         ups. They want me to drive old Lippy. 
                         Isn't that awesome?

               Bart doesn't say anything.

                                     KELLY
                         What the hell's your problem?

                                     BART
                         I ought to fucking kill you.

                                     KELLY
                         What?

                                     BART
                         You had to do it.

               Kelly shakes his head, avoiding Bart's eyes, trying to keep 
               it normal.

                                     KELLY
                         What are you talking about?

                                     BART
                         You just do whatever the fuck you 
                         want. And consequences don't matter, 
                         do they?

                                     KELLY
                         Are you out of your mind?

               Bart looks at Kelly. Sees nothing but a kid in an old Army 
               uniform.

                                     BART
                         What the fuck do you think she's 
                         going to do, run off with you?

               The blood rises to Kelly's face.

               But he still won't look at Bart.

                                     BART
                         You're a seventeen-year-old bag boy. 
                         She's a Yale grad student. Talk about 
                         living in a fucking fantasy world.

               Kelly's hands turn white around the rifle.

                                     KELLY
                         No. You'd rather have me be miserable 
                         like you are.

               Bart comes closer. Uncomfortably close.

                                     BART
                              (biting sarcasm)
                         Once again, you've displayed your 
                         uncanny ability to nail the truth of 
                         a character.

               Kelly finally raises his head.

               And looks Bart right in the eyes.

                                     KELLY
                         Stop talking out your dad's mouth 
                         and use your own for once.

               Bart lunges at Kelly.

               EXT. FILM SHOOT

               The camera's set up.

               The groups are in position.

               The A.D. stands by the cameraman.

                                     A.D.
                         Standby for rehearsal. Cue the 
                         explosion.

               GRAY CLOUD EXPLODES

               In the field. Soldiers leap out of trenches.

                                     A.D.
                         Cue the Jeep.

               Nothing happens.

                                     A.D.
                         Cue the Jeep. Cue the fucking Jeep!

               The A.D. shakes his head.

               BEHIND THE BARN

               The A.D. comes around the corner followed by the cameraman.

               Bart and Kelly roll around on the ground.

                                     A.D.
                         What the H. Christ is going on over 
                         here?

               Bart and Kelly continue to fight.

                                     A.D.
                              (to cameraman)
                         Hey, roll this. Get this. Are you 
                         getting this?

               The cameraman puts his camera up to his eye and films.

               Kelly finally pushes Bart off him, gets in his Jeep and drives 
               away.

                                     A.D.
                              (to cameraman)
                         Follow him. Are you getting it?

               Bart sits on the ground, out of breath.

                                     A.D.
                         We can use this. We'll cut it 
                         together.

               The A.D. directs the camera at Bart.

                                     A.D.
                         Get close on him.

               Bart pushes the camera away.

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE, KELLY'S ROOM - DAY

               Kelly lays in bed staring at the ceiling. There's a cut across 
               his eyebrow.

               Eve comes in carrying her car keys and sits on the bed.

                                     KELLY
                         I don't want to talk about it.

                                     EVE
                         Well, you're going to have to. Your 
                         father's at the hospital.

                                     KELLY
                         Which one of his loser friends ended 
                         up there?

               Eve plays with her keys. Then she stops.

                                     EVE
                         They think he has stomach cancer.

               Kelly feels the sensation of falling, like a dream.

               Then he snorts and rolls over, away from his mom.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh this is just perfect.

               Eve looks at the back of Kelly's head. She's tired but still 
               trying to deal.

                                     EVE
                         Why would you say something like 
                         that?

                                     KELLY
                         Because it seems to fit.

                                     EVE
                         "Seems to fit." Do you understand 
                         what I just said?

               Kelly gets up. Puts his feet on the floor. His shoulders are 
               slumped.

                                     KELLY
                         Why, do you want to say it again?

                                     EVE
                         Kelly -

                                     KELLY
                         I have to go to work.

               He gets up and holds the door open for her. Eve looks at 
               him, heart heavy. She leaves.

               Kelly sits on the bed. Then he looks at the rabbit painting.

               He grabs it off the wall and SLAMS it backwards against the 
               floor so he doesn't have to look at it.

               The painting falls back against the bayonet fixed to Kelly's 
               rifle and TEARS.

               He KICKS it.

               INT. GROCERY STORE - NIGHT

               Kelly angrily wrestles with giant boxes of paper towels.

               He RIPS open the box and they roll everywhere.

               Sarah watches from checkout. She comes over to help him pick 
               them up.

                                     SARAH
                         I forgot to tell you this box was 
                         booby-trapped.

               Kelly doesn't say anything.

                                     SARAH
                         The concert was lame. The opening 
                         act singer ripped his leather pants 
                         during a stupid dance routine and 
                         stormed off stage.
                              (pause, looks at his 
                              cut)
                         Are you okay?

                                     KELLY
                         No.

                                     SARAH
                         Lance?

                                     KELLY
                         No.

               Kelly gathers an armful of paper towels.

                                     KELLY
                         Listen, I'm busy.

                                     SARAH
                         Sure. I understand.

                                     KELLY
                         I doubt it.

               Sarah puts a couple of rolls on the shelf.

                                     SARAH
                         Um, I don't have a perfect life, if 
                         that's what you're asking.

               Kelly stops what he's doing.

                                     KELLY
                         No, Sarah, actually, I'm not asking. 
                         I never ask you anything but you 
                         just talk anyway. Have you ever 
                         noticed that?

               Sarah drops the rolls she had in her hands.

                                     SARAH
                         Fuck you.

               She leaves. Kelly shakes his head.

               INT. TABBY'S STUDIO - MORNING

               Kelly, still in his work clothes, comes in without knocking.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey, I hoped you were up -

               He stops when he sees Tabby and Miner sleeping together on 
               the couch.

               Tabby opens her eyes.

                                     TABBY
                         Kelly?

               Kelly goes and takes his painting off the easel.

                                     KELLY
                         I just came to get this.

               Kelly leaves.

               EXT. BOWLAND YARD

               Tabby follows Kelly across the yard.

                                     TABBY
                         Hey.

               Kelly stops and turns around.

                                     KELLY
                         I guess the wedding's back on.

                                     TABBY
                         We talked.

               Tabby smiles sadly.

                                     TABBY
                         I'm really sorry.

                                     KELLY
                         Don't be.

               They stand there in the yard. Tabby wraps her arms around 
               herself.

                                     KELLY
                         My dad's got cancer.

               Tabby looks at Kelly, pained.

                                     TABBY
                         Oh, Kelly.

               She takes a step towards him. He backs up.

                                     KELLY
                         I guess we all get what we deserve.

               Kelly looks at Tabby for a second, then turns and walks away.

               EXT. RURAL ROAD - DAY

               Kelly drives along an open stretch of road. He throws the 
               painting out of the Jeep.

               He comes to a turn and takes it much too fast.

               The Jeep SKIDS, teeters on two wheels, and goes over the 
               embankment.

               BOTTOM OF DITCH

               Steam trails up from the Jeep's radiator. The front end is 
               completely smashed.

               Kelly bangs his fist against the steering wheel.

                                     KELLY
                         Stupid bitch.

               Then he calm himself, gets out, and starts walking.

               EXT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               Kelly rides an old bike up to the bike rack and locks it.

               INT. HISTORY CLASS

               Kelly comes in late.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Kelly! There you are. I was just 
                         telling the class about our special 
                         treat today. Mr. Ernswiler is going 
                         to be giving the three first-period 
                         history classes a little talk about 
                         the Civil War.

               Kelly closes his eyes. He had forgotten - or tried to forget.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Let's all make our way in an orderly 
                         fashion down to the auditorium, shall 
                         we?

               The class bolts for the door.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Orderly, I said orderly.

               Mr. Norman looks at Kelly pleasantly.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Well, what are we waiting for? I'm 
                         so looking forward to hearing your 
                         views.

               INT. AUDITORIUM

               Kelly sits in a chair on the stage next to Mr. Norman.

               A scattering of KIDS sit out in the auditorium.

               Principal Holmstead stands at the podium.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         For those of you who haven't had the 
                         chance to get to know Kelly, you 
                         should know he has a very interesting 
                         hobby. He takes part in reenactments 
                         of World War II battles right here 
                         in Ohio.

                                     AUDIENCE KID
                         I did that too. When I was seven.

               Scattered LAUGHTER. Kelly frowns.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                         He has an unusual first-hand knowledge 
                         of history. We recently discovered 
                         that this extends beyond World War 
                         II to the Civil War, which he is 
                         going to discuss with you today. 
                         Kelly?

               Kelly rises to scant applause. He stands at the podium, 
               looking out at the crowd.

               He looks down and thinks. He looks back up. The silence 
               stretches. Kids start giggling.

               Finally he leans into the microphone.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm sorry.

               He walks off stage.

                                     HOLMSTEAD
                              (to Mr. Norman)
                         Well, go after him.

               EXT. SHAKER HEIGHTS HIGH - DAY

               On his knees Kelly fumbles with his bike lock, getting madder 
               and madder. Just as he's about to get it undone --

               Lance appears.

                                     LANCE
                         What, they re-assign you to the 
                         bicycle brigade?

               Kelly frowns at the lock.

                                     KELLY
                         I'm busy.

                                     LANCE
                         Too bad, cause I'm not. Remember 
                         that little show I put on for the 
                         school?

                                     KELLY
                         I don't know what you're talking 
                         about.

                                     LANCE
                         Oh, come on. Pants down? Doll? Hard 
                         on?

               Kelly looks up at Lance.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh that. I heard about it.

                                     LANCE
                         And did you hear me and Bridget aren't 
                         going out anymore because of it?

                                     KELLY
                         I haven't been following the story.

                                     LANCE
                         Yeah well, let's get this over with.

                                     KELLY
                         It is over.

               Lance pushes Kelly away from his bike. Kelly falls back on 
               his hands.

               He squints up at Lance and moves back towards his bike.

               Lance KICKS him back with his foot and looks at him.

                                     KELLY
                         Just let me go home.

                                     LANCE
                         Did you call me a homo?

               Lance KICKS him again. Kelly breathes hard.

                                     KELLY
                         This isn't a good time for me. Let's 
                         re-schedule.

                                     LANCE
                         No time like the present.

               Lance picks Kelly up and SLAPS him hard on the face.

                                     KELLY
                         First you should probably get me to 
                         write home to my mother.

               Lance PUNCHES Kelly and he reels. Then Kelly lunges for him 
               and they fall to the ground. Kelly swings wildly but Lance 
               pins him down and gives him a few good ones.

               Then Mr. Norman comes out.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Stop it!

               Mr. Norman rushes over to them.

               Kelly scrambles up and rips at his bike lock, gets on his 
               bike and rides away.

               Mr. Norman tries to take a panting Lance by the arm but Lance 
               shakes him off.

                                     LANCE
                         Get off me.

               EXT. ERNSWILER HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly rides by his house and keeps going.

               EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY

               Kelly stops and looks up at the hospital but can't bring 
               himself to go in. He pedals on.

               EXT. CLEVELAND WATERFRONT - DAY

               Kelly sits on the loading dock of an abandoned factory.

               He watches the rusty barges glitter on the water. The wind 
               ruffles his sweaty hair.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly's at the front door.

                                     MINNIE
                         Bart's not here. Sorry.

               She closes the door. Kelly wheels his bike down the driveway.

               He sees Bart sitting out by the pool with a couple of LANGELY 
               BOYS.

               Bart sees Kelly and ignores him, laughs at something one of 
               the guys says.

               INT. ERNSWILER HOUSE, BATHROOM - DAY

               Kelly sits on the toilet, putting a bandage on a red scrape 
               down his arm.

               Eve appears in the doorway.

                                     EVE
                         Oh Kelly. What happened?

               Kelly looks up at her. He's still got the cut eyebrow, which 
               has split back open, and some dried blood under his nose.

                                     KELLY
                         Nothing.

                                     EVE
                         Jesus. Let me see that.

               Eve comes over and tilts Kelly's head back to look at the 
               cut. This is the first time she's touched him.

               She gets some antiseptic and ointment from under the sink 
               along with Band-Aids and goes to work.

                                     KELLY
                         Ow.

               Kelly lets her dab at his face. He closes his eyes.

                                     EVE
                         I'm going over to see dad.

               Kelly opens his eyes and pulls away.

                                     KELLY
                         Oh.

               Eve puts a butterfly bandage across Kelly's eyebrow.

                                     EVE
                         And you need to come.

               Kelly pulls his head away.

                                     KELLY
                         I don't want to.

                                     EVE
                         At this point that's not an option.

                                     KELLY
                         Now's not a good time, ma.

               Eve looks at Kelly sadly.

                                     EVE
                         It's never a good time.

                                     KELLY
                         You can't make me.

               Eve shakes her head.

                                     EVE
                              (voice rising)
                         It's not about you anymore --

                                     KELLY
                         Don't you get it? It was never about 
                         me.

               Eve rises to her feet. He's just sent her over the edge.

                                     EVE
                              (yelling)
                         What is wrong with you? When are you 
                         going to stop blaming us, blaming 
                         him? I'm sick of you being angry. I 
                         want to be angry! They just took out 
                         half of your father's stomach -

                                     KELLY
                         Enough.

                                     EVE
                              (screaming and crying)
                         You will not tell me what's enough. 
                         You don't know about anything. All 
                         you do is fight fake battles, in the 
                         woods, on the playground. But this, 
                         right here, us - this is the real 
                         one, the only one worth anything.

               She stops and breaks down.

                                     EVE
                         The man I love is dying.

                                     KELLY
                         That's between you and him.

               Eve looks at her son. Her face looks older.

                                     EVE
                         If I made a mistake, if you felt 
                         left out, I'm sorry. But I can only 
                         deal with one thing at a time.

               Eve leaves. Kelly sits on the toilet, lost.

               INT. KELLY'S ROOM - MORNING

               The sun shines in through Kelly's window.

               He's laying in bed awake - has been for a while.

               He gets up and starts dressing slowly and deliberately. He 
               puts on his best shirt and tie, sensing trouble when the 
               tie's too short.

               He pulls the suit out of his closet.

               The jacket doesn't fit. The sleeves don't even go down to 
               his wrists.

               And he can hardly button the pants. He rips off the jacket.

               He pulls everything out of his closet. Nothing there.

               He sits on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands.

               He looks at his DRESS UNIFORM, hanging on the back of the 
               closet in its dry-cleaning bag, right where his mom left it.

               He shakes his head. No, he couldn't do that.

               Then he sighs.

               EXT. EPISCOPAL CHURCH - DAY

               It's decorated for a wedding. Flower garlands trail up the 
               banisters.

               GUESTS trickle in.

               Harrison, dressed in a suit with a boutonniere on his lapel, 
               talks to an USHER.

                                     HARRISON
                         Don't sit any of Mathilda's sisters 
                         next to me if you can help it.
                              (to guest)
                         Oh, hello. So nice to see you. Thank 
                         you for coming.

               Bart comes outside, also dressed as an usher.

                                     HARRISON
                              (to Bart)
                         Where's the priest?

                                     BART
                         He should be here any minute. Calm 
                         down.

               Bart walks down the steps and looks down the street.

               Kelly's walking towards him. IN HIS DRESS UNIFORM.

               Bart walks down the street to meet him.

                                     BART
                         What the fuck are you doing?

               Kelly looks down. He can't meet Bart's eyes.

                                     KELLY
                         I was invited.

                                     BART
                         I uninvited you.

                                     KELLY
                         It's not your wedding.

               Bart looks at Kelly and shakes his head.

                                     BART
                         Why are you wearing that?

               Kelly doesn't answer.

                                     BART
                              (softening)
                         I can't let you come in.

                                     KELLY
                         Why?

                                     BART
                         Because you know why. Just go home.

               Kelly finally looks up at Bart and nods.

               A Town Car pulls up.

               Tabby gets out in her wedding dress. Has there even been a 
               more glorious woman? Will there ever be again?

               Her MAID OF HONOR leads her around to the side of the church.

               Kelly watches every step.

                                     KELLY
                         She looks beautiful. Tell her - give 
                         her my congratulations.

               Kelly walks off.

               Bart watches him go.

               INT. BOWLAND HOUSE, KELLY'S ROOM - DAY

               Kelly sits on the edge of the bed, head in hands.

               He sees the torn rabbit painting. After a minute, he picks 
               it up and looks at it.

               INT. EVE'S STUDIO

               Xiou-Xiou sits painting. Kelly enters with the rabbit.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         Oh! Son of Eve. You startled me.

                                     KELLY
                         Grandma Ling. Can you fix this?

               She examines it and takes out a wet sponge. She wipes it 
               across the back of the canvas.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         Your mom made it for you. I can fix 
                         it.

               She works silently for a minute. Kelly watches her. She cuts 
               a small piece of canvas to repair the hole.

                                     KELLY
                         Did you come here to work on your 
                         own stuff? Don't waste your time on 
                         this.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         I never waste time.

               She turns the painting over and gets out some paints to touch 
               it up.

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         See. Everything can be mended.

                                     KELLY
                         You're trying to tell me something, 
                         aren't you?

                                     XIOU-XIOU
                         Oh no. I could not tell you anything.

               INT. HOSPITAL, ABE'S ROOM - DAY

               Eve sleeps in a chair next to Abe, in bed sleeping. He looks 
               pale but otherwise fine.

               Kelly stands in the doorway, still in his uniform.

               Abe comes to and sees him standing there.

                                     ABE
                         Hey. Kelly.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey dad. How you feeling?

                                     ABE
                         Not bad.

                                     KELLY
                         They gave me some stitches downstairs.
                              (points to eyebrow)
                         Three.

                                     ABE
                         Did you get punched?

                                     KELLY
                         A couple times, actually.

                                     ABE
                         I know the feeling. Come on in and 
                         watch some television. Don't worry, 
                         this one's bolted to the wall. As 
                         you can see, my reputation precedes 
                         me.

               Kelly comes into the room and sits in a chair.

                                     ABE
                         Any battles this weekend?

                                     KELLY
                         A few.

                                     ABE
                         Busy, busy.

               Abe and Kelly look up at the television in the corner.

                                     ABE
                         Answer me this: how come no one ever 
                         reenacts the Vietnam War?

                                     KELLY
                         It'd be pretty depressing, wouldn't 
                         it?

                                     ABE
                         I guess it would.

               Both continue to look up at the television.

                                     KELLY
                         Plus that, you'd have to have 
                         protesters and stuff.

                                     ABE
                         Folks dressed up like your mom and 
                         me. People reenacting fleeing to 
                         Canada, burning draft cards. I guess 
                         that would ruin the spirit of the 
                         thing, now wouldn't it?

                                     KELLY
                         I could make it work.

               Abe looks at Kelly.

                                     ABE
                         I bet you could.

               Kelly nods. Eve wakes up.

                                     EVE
                         Kelly, is that you?

                                     KELLY
                         You were expecting some one else?

               HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

               Kelly and Eve get snacks from the vending machine.

                                     KELLY
                         He looks good.

               Eve looks at Kelly, her face full of love and sadness.

                                     EVE
                         He looks just like you.

               Kelly nods slowly, taking this in. And it is finally too 
               much.

               He breaks down and cries. For the fear and the misplaced 
               rage, the fights and the stubbornness.

               But finally, relief.

               They walk back down the hall together. Eve reaches out and 
               puts her hand on Kelly's neck.

               EXT. BOWLAND HOUSE - DAY

               Kelly rides his bike past the house and stops when he sees 
               the car packed up in front.

               Bart comes out with a box of stuff.

                                     BART
                         Hey.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey. You going away already?

                                     BART
                         Yeah. The have this intensive summer 
                         orientation thing.

                                     KELLY
                         Is that good?

               Bart puts the box in the car.

                                     BART
                         Well, it's optional, but dad thinks 
                         it would be "a good way to meet 
                         people."

                                     KELLY
                         He's probably right.

                                     BART
                         He usually is.

               They stand there.

                                     KELLY
                         Well, go Big Green.

               Kelly gives him a little ra-ra with one hand. Bart smiles.

               Kelly's been doing his research.

                                     BART
                         Thanks.

               Kelly lifts his foot up to the pedal of his bike.

                                     KELLY
                         Have fun. And get laid, will ya?

               Bart laughs a little and shakes his head. Kelly is gone.

               Harrison comes out.

                                     HARRISON
                         Is that everything?

                                     BART
                         Everything you'd let me bring.

               Harrison checks the ties on the roof.

                                     HARRISON
                         Give me a break.

               INT. GROCERY STORE - NIGHT

               Kelly stocks shelves.

               There's a NEW GIRL working the register.

               Kelly sees SARAH come in. He follows her to the bakery.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey.

                                     SARAH
                         Hey.

               Sarah picks some bagels.

                                     KELLY
                         How come you don't work here anymore? 
                         The Electro-shopper's getting rusty.

                                     SARAH
                         I've got a summer internship at an 
                         ad agency.

                                     KELLY
                         Fancy.

                                     SARAH
                         It's all right, I guess.

                                     KELLY
                         No, it's great.

               Kelly moves around to her other side, closer.

                                     KELLY
                         Hey -

               Sarah moves away. Once bitten twice shy and all that.

                                     SARAH
                         When are you going to get a real 
                         job?

                                     KELLY
                         I don't know. Probably when I figure 
                         out something better to do.

                                     SARAH
                         You can't be a stock boy your whole 
                         life.

               Sarah walks to the front of the store. Kelly walks with her.

                                     KELLY
                         Yeah I can. I mean, I probably won't, 
                         but I could.

               Sarah turns to him at the checkout aisle.

                                     SARAH
                         Well, it was good seeing you.

                                     KELLY
                         Um.

                                     SARAH
                         What?

                                     KELLY
                         Remember that presentation I told 
                         you never to ask me about again?

               INT. OLD SOLDIERS' HOME - DAY

               Kelly stands in the front of the room, pointing to a battle 
               plan with large arrows drawn on it.

               Charlie, Mr. Norman, Principal Holmstead, Eve and Sarah sit 
               among other OLD SOLDIERS.

                                     KELLY
                         Lee arrayed his defenses over here. 
                         Only this time, Grant was ready for 
                         him.

               Kelly keeps talking. Many of the OLD SOLDIERS sleep.

                                     OLD SOLDIER 1
                              (to old soldier 2)
                         This is boring.

                                     OLD SOLDIER 2
                         Yeah. Let's see that slide of the 
                         wife again.

               DOMINO TABLE

               Sarah, Kelly, and Eve play dominos with Charlie and Mr. 
               Norman.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                              (to Charlie)
                         Remarkable, remarkable. And they 
                         never knew?

                                     CHARLIE
                         The real kicker was moving those 
                         cutouts of tanks around. The thought 
                         we had a whole regiment over there, 
                         but it was just a couple of us and 
                         those Hollywood props.

                                     EVE
                         That's amazing. Art playing a part 
                         in war.

                                     CHARLIE
                         You're damned right. We practically 
                         won the thing right there.
                              (eyeing Sarah and Eve 
                              with approval)
                         Now this is more like it. Anyone 
                         care to place a wager on the table?

               Kelly tries to gesture to Sarah "no."

                                     SARAH
                         If you think it would be more fun.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         I can't imagine having more fun that 
                         I am now.

               Mr. Norman smiles at the group.

                                     CHARLIE
                         You're never been to a French 
                         whorehouse, I take it.

                                     EVE
                         I have.

                                     MR. NORMAN
                         Oh, my.

               EXT. OLD SOLDIERS' HOME - DAY

               Eve waits while Kelly and Sarah walk out to Sarah's car.

               Kelly helps Sarah into it and closes the door for her.

                                     KELLY
                         I still don't understand how you did 
                         that.

                                     SARAH
                         I spent my summers with my grandma 
                         in the Catskills. She didn't give me 
                         any spending money.
                              (shrugs)
                         So I played the bones for ice cream.

               She pulls away. He watches her go.

                                     KELLY
                         Hot damn.

                                                                  FADE OUT:

                                         THE END