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Twins Movie Script

Writer(s) : William Osborne, William Davies, Timothy Harris, Hershel Weingrod, William Goldman

Genres : Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi

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                                                TWINS

                                                    by

                                  William Osborne & William Davies



                                                Revisions by

                               Timothy Harris & Hershel Weingrod

                                           and William Goldman




Re  v.   04  /1  5/  88   (B  lu  e)
Re  v.   04  /2  2/  88   (P  in  k)
Re  v.   04  /2  7/  88   (Y  el  lo  w)
Re  v.   04  /2  8/  88   (G  re  en  )
Re  v.   05  /0  2/  88   (G  ol  de  nrod)
Re  v.   05  /0  9/  88   (B  uf  f)
Re  v.   05  /2  5/  88   (C  he  rr  y)
Re  v.   06  /1  6/  88   (T  an  )
Re  v.   06  /2  2/  88   (S  al  mo  n)
                                                               CONSOLIDATED FOURTH DRAFT
Re  v.   07  /0  5/  88   (W  hi  te  )
Re  v.   07  /0  5/  88   PM   (  Mi  nt Grn)
Re  v.   07  /2  5/  88   (G  ol  de  nrod)                    April 27, 1988

    Rev. 4/28/88

                               TWINS
    FADE IN:

1   LONG BASEMENT CORRIDOR                                      1
    The CAMERA is MOVING SLOWLY DOWN a long basement corridor.
    We hear a narrator (Werner) --

                             WERNER (V.O.)
               On his 35th birthday, I decided
               to tell Julius Benedict the truth
               about himself...

2   CLOSE - LABORATORY HALL - DOORS - DAY (PERIOD)              2

    HOLD ON sign:   "Top Secret - Authorized Personnel Only."

                             WERNER (V.O.)
               It wasn't that he was the product
               of a scientific experiment.

3   INT. LABORATORY - DAY (PERIOD - 1952)                       3

    A white coated scientist (PROFESSOR WERNER) is studying a
    bizarre piece of equipment that looks suspiciously like
    a milkshake blender. With him is another scientist --
    (this is TRAVEN -- already imperious, already a prick).

                             WERNER (V.O.)
               An experiment designed to produce
               a physically, mentally and
               spiritually superior human being.
               I explained that to him when he
               was two years old.


4   INT. MEDICAL EXAM ROOM - HALF A DOZEN MEN - DAY (PERIOD) 4
    Most of them young, 20s and 30s. They are being given a
    medical examination by a group of doctors, including
    Werner.
                             WERNER (V.O.)
               And it wasn't the complexity of
               Julius's parentage. He knew that
               unlike other little boys, he
               didn't have just one, but half
               a dozen fathers, all very
               distinguished men.                                   *

    TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                   2.

5   INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - CLOSE ON GORGEOUS WOMAN - DAY          5
    (PERIOD)

    Not your Hollywood type. This is obviously a lady of
    character and talent. Her name we will come to learn is
    MARY ANN BENEDICT. She is on a hospital bed and being
    readied for surgery.

                            WERNER (V.O.)
              Nor was it about the
              extraordinary woman chosen to
              be his mother...
                                                                    *

6   INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY OUTSIDE DELIVERY ROOM - (PERIOD)      6
    Traven emerges, sadly shaking his head. Werner tries to
    enter the room -- Traven won't permit it.

                            WERNER (V.O.)
              Julius had long lived with the
              tragic news that she died giving
              birth to him.


7   OMITTED                                                     7   *
&                                                               &
8                                                               8   *


9   INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - DELIVERY ROOM - DAY (PERIOD)        9
    As a nurse, parting the security guards, emerges and holds
    up a plump, serene, smiling baby boy.
                                                 (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - 4/14/88                                           3.

9    CONTINUED:                                                     9
                                WERNER (V.O.)
                  What Julius didn't know, until
                  this very moment, was that, about
                  a minute after he was born...
     Another nurse emerges from the delivery room, holding up
     a second INFANT -- this one is SCREAMING with rage.

                                WERNER (V.O.)
                  His mother gave birth to another
                  baby...

10   INT. NURSERY - DAY (PERIOD)                                    10

     The serene baby.    Any mother's joy.

     The angry baby.    Fuming.
     PULL BACK to reveal:
     The two of them are in the same crib.
     The leg of the angry baby. It suddenly lashes out,
     connects with the rump of the serene baby:
     The serene BABY.    Starting to CRY.
     The angry baby.    All smiles now.
     HOLD ON the two babies in their crib as the following
     words fill the screen:
         ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER            DANNY DE VITO
                                  TWINS

                                                     CUT TO:

11   INT. GREENHOUSE - CLOSEUP - JULIUS (35) - DAY                  11

     He looks up and stares dead AT the CAMERA --
                                JULIUS
                         (stunned)
                  I have a brother?!!!
                                                     CUT TO:


12   INT. GREENHOUSE - DAY                                          12
     A greenhouse on the island.

                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      4.         *

12    CONTINUED:                                                    12
      Werner, now 70, is bent and old. Julius, in peasant garb
      is a marvelous-looking human being.

                                 WERNER
                          (speaks with an
                           Austrian accent)
                   He was sent to an orphanage in
                   Los Angeles. At the same time I
                   brought you here to the island.
      Julius isn't listening.    His eyes shine.

                                 JULIUS
                          (amazed)
                   I have a twin brother?!!
                          (for a moment,
                           chews on his right
                           thumbnail)
                   What's his name?
                                WERNER
                Vincent.
                                  JULIUS
                          (moved)
                   Vincent -- Every time I loved
                   something I called it Vincent --
                   I called my first computer
                   Vincent!
                          (suddenly spins;
                            starts off)
                   I have to find him!


A13   OMITTED                                                       A13


B13   EXT. ISLAND - CLIFFS - DAY                                    B13
      Julius strides along a windswept path, followed by
      Werner. The ocean spread out below them is vast and
      empty. This island is far from anywhere.
                                 WERNER
                          (fretting terribly)
                   You've been here since you were a
                   baby -- you know nothing of
                   America --
                              JULIUS
                I know it is the cradle   of
                democracy and the land   of the
                free; besides, I speak   twelve
                languages -- I'm sure I   can get a
                job.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      5.         *

B13   CONTINUED:                                                    B13
                                 WERNER
                   They're a simple people; rather
                   primitive, not like us.
                                 JULIUS
                   My brother will look after me.


C13   OMITTED                                                       C13

13    INT. JULIUS'S HUT - DAY                                       13
      It's a blend of modern technology and the tropical
      environment -- floor-to-ceiling book-cases, computers, a
      hammock shrouded in a mosquito net.

      Julius is hurriedly packing a small leather suitcase,
      watched by Werner.
      Werner hands over a photograph: it's a picture of a
      younger Werner, Traven, and the six fathers.
                                 JULIUS
                   It's your only copy --
                                 WERNER
                   -- My need for it is only
                   sentimental -- yours may be
                   practical --
      Julius slips the photo into his suitcase.
                                 JULIUS
                   Thank you -- I'll miss you.
                                 WERNER
                          (holding back the
                          tears)
                   I'll miss you.

      They hug as we --
                                                     CUT TO:


A14   EXT. TROPICAL ISLAND                                          A14
      The water's edge. Julius, Werner, an OLDER LADY, two
      scientists and an ORIENTAL man are all saying goodbye.
      Julius puts his suitcase into a small rowboat.

                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                  6.

A14   CONTINUED: (A1)                                           A14
                                                                      *
                             OLD WOMAN                                *
                      (as Julius hugs her)                            *
               It's sixty miles to the airport,                       *
               Julius; be careful.                                    *
      Julius then bows to the Oriental, who bows back.

                             JULIUS
                      (in Japanese;
                       subtitled)
               It was an honor to study under
               you, Master.
      Without warning, the Oriental tries to strike Julius in
      the face with the side of his hand, but Julius blocks
      the blow.

                             ORIENTAL
                      (in English)
               Ahhh, always on guard. You have
               learned well, Julius-san.
      Julius gives a last hug to Werner.

                             JULIUS
                      (to Werner)
               I was just thinking, maybe my
               brother Vincent is married.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/25/88                                   A6A.         *

A14   CONTINUED:                                                    A14
                                WERNER
                   And...?

                                 JULIUS
                   Well, if a woman loved my brother
                   enough to marry him, she might
                   have a sister who'd feel the same
                   way about me. That often  happens
                   with twins, you know.
                                 WERNER
                   Julius -- please -- don't get
                   your hopes up. Your brother
                   doesn't even know you exist.

      Julius gets in the boat and casts off. The boat takes off
      like a streak. Julius, in perfect rhythm, increases the
      pace. The boat is almost flying across the water.
                                 JULIUS
                          (loudly as he
                           disappears in the
                           horizon)
                   Of course he does. I've always
                   known there was something missing
                   in my life! And deep down, I'm
                   sure Vincent feels the same way!
                   He's probably just like meeeee!

                                                   DISSOLVE TO:

14    INT. BEDROOM (L.A.) - DAY                                     14

      VINCE BENEDICT    lies in bed, looking extremely pleased
      with himself.     A SEXY YOUNG WOMAN is nestled asleep
      against him.     The digital bedside ALARM PURRS and starts
      to PLAY MUSIC    -- something romantic that Vince hums along
      to.
                                 VINCE
                   You sleep well, honey?
                                 CARLA (SEXY YOUNG WOMAN)
                   Mmmm... like a baby.

                                 VINCE
                   Me, too. I love this new
                   mattress. It's soft but it's hard
                   at the same time. And I love this
                   new clock.

      Carla snuggles against Vince as he surveys the bedroom
      like a house-proud new owner.

                                                   (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/25/88                                    B6A.      *

14   CONTINUED:    (A1)                                           14
                                VINCE
                  You've done a great job on this
                  room, Carla.
                                CARLA
                  You really think so?   Even the
                  curtains?

                                VINCE
                  The curtains are the key to the
                  whole thing. They're colorful...
                  they're brilliant... they're...
                  great curtains.
                                CARLA
                         (melting)
                  You were great last night, Vince.
                                 VINCE
                         (not disagreeing)
                  Naaaw...
                         (putting his arm
                           around her)
                  I think we're going to be very
                  happy here.
     Suddenly we hear a DOOR downstairs as it OPENS, and a
     man's voice drifts up the stairs:

                                                    (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/15/88                                 6A.

14   CONTINUED:                                                 14
                                 MAN (O.S.)
                  Honey!   I'm home!

                                VINCE
                         (a bit surprised but
                          not panicked)
                  What's he doing back so early?

     Vince jumps out of bed, starts pulling on his clothes
     while Carla slips into a bathrobe.

                                MAN (O.S.)
                  Carla? You gonna cook me some
                  breakfast or what?

                                CARLA
                  Be right down, sweetheart!
     Vince checks his appearance in a dresser mirror,
     straightens his Armani suit, brushes his hair, pulls it
     into a fashionable ponytail. He cuts a stylish figure.
     Noticing an expensive gold lighter on the dresser top,
     he covertly pockets it.

     Carla pushes him towards the open French doors.
                                 CARLA
                  Hurry up!   I gotta make breakfast!

                                VINCE
                  You're wonderful, Carla. Your husband
                  doesn't deserve to kiss your feet.

     TWINS - 4/14/88                                      7.

15   EXT. BALCONY - DAY                                        15
     Vince steps out and  jauntily climbs over the rail. It's
     very clear he likes  the danger, being on the edge. In
     another life, he was  probably Errol Flynn. Now, he gives
     Carla an Errol Flynn  smile --
     -- and with that, he leaps into space!

                                                CUT TO:

16   EXT. AL'S HOUSE - AWNING BELOW - DAY                      16   *

     As Vince gracefully lands, bounces off it onto the ground.
     He bends, picks up a flower, puts it in the outside
     pocket of his Armani suit, heads toward a new Mustang          *
     parked not far away.

                                                CUT TO:

17   EXT. AL'S HOUSE - MUSTANG - DAY                           17   *
     As Vince gets in, starting to sing.

                             VINCE
                      (he's got a good
                       voice)
               'Oh what a beautiful morning,
               Oh what a beautiful day'...
     Now he does something surprising -- not starting to drive,
     we expect that. What we don't expect is his destination
     -- because what he does is simply turn the nearest corner
     and drive right back to the house he just snuck out of.
                             VINCE
                      (exiting the car,
                       still singing)
               ... 'everything's going my way'...
                                                CUT TO:

18   INT. AL'S HOUSE - DAY                                     18   *

     where Carla, in her robe, is working away starting to
     make breakfast. Vince enters, gives her the sweetest
     smile.
                             VINCE
               Carla, what a joy to look at you.
                             (MORE)
                                                (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                     8.         *

18   CONTINUED:                                                    18
                                VINCE (CONT'D)
                         (as she gives him
                          a look)
                  Is my partner and best friend, Al
                  home from work yet? I am the
                  bringer of good tidings.

     The kitchen    door opens and AL GRECO enters. He is sing-
     ing "Happy    Birthday" and carries a wrapped gift held out
     in front of    him. He's dressed in overalls with an
     insignia on    his breast pocket that reads "AIRPORT
     PARKING."
                                VINCE
                  Stop with that horrible song, you
                  know how I hate birthdays; they're
                  worse than Christmas.
     Al presents him with the gift.
                                    VINCE
                            (coy)
                  For me?

                                AL
                  Carla and I figured, since you
                  were always admiring mine, what
                  the hell...

                                                    (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                      9.

18   CONTINUED:    (2)                                              18
     Vince struggles to contain his delight at this irony.

                                VINCE
                  A lighter, just like yours.   I
                  don't know what to say, Al.   I'm
                  all choked up.

     The PHONE RINGS and Carla picks it up.
                                CARLA
                         (into phone)
                  Hello -- the Greco residence...
                  sure. Who may I say is calling...
                  Mr. Burt Klane? Vince, it's for
                  you --

     Vince confidently picks up the receiver.
                                VINCE
                         (into phone)
                  Good morning, Mr. Klane. I hope
                  you're having a wonderful --
                         (cut off)
                  Yes -- no problem -- I have it.
                  Yes. Today. Of course. 'Bye.
     Vince hangs up.
                             AL
               What are you doing talking to a
               loanshark?
                                VINCE
                         (excited)
                  That's part of my good news --
                  You know that money I picked up
                  from the Jaguar we boosted. Well,                      *
                  I put the money in the stock                           *
                  market. I got this incredible                          *
                  tip.                                                   *
                                                                         *
                               CARLA
               Oh no.                                                    *
                             VINCE
               I can't lose. Ever hear of P.V.T.                         *
               Industries? Probably not --                               *
               Secret takeover bid --
                                                      (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   10.

18   CONTINUED:    (3)                                            18
                                AL
                  You put the money on a stock?                        *

                                VINCE
                  A very special stock -- and it was
                  such a sure thing -- I borrowed
                  another 20 grand from the Klane                      *
                  Brothers.
                                CARLA
                         (unbelieving)
                  You borrowed from a loan shark to
                  invest in the stock market?
                                VINCE
                  On margin -- And as of last night
                  I was ten thousand ahead. I'm                        *
                  going to make a fortune -- turn on
                  the T.V.
                                                  CUT TO:


19   OMITTED                                                      19


20   INT. NEWSROOM - CLOSE - TV - DAY                             20
     Cable news -- stock report.
                                NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
                  ... that Wall Street's suffering
                  its worst single-day's losses
                  since October '87. Hardest hit                       *
                  were Federated Broadcasting, down
                  $18, Waverton Data, down $24 and
                  P.V.T. Industries, down $32.
                  Analysts speculate that even blue
                  chip stocks will not remain immune
                  to...


21   INT. AL'S HOUSE- DAY                                         21
     CLOSEUP ON the extremely worried face of Vince as he
     takes in the bad news.

                                AL
                  You are having one shitty
                  birthday, Vince.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                    11.

21     CONTINUED:                                                    21
                                  VINCE
                    I'm wiped out. I got to get some
                    money -- fast.                                          *
                                  AL
                    Well... '88 B.M.W. came in for
                    long term last night...

                                  CARLA
                    Don't you think you're doing this
                    too often?

                                  VINCE
                    I'm a desperate man.                                    *

                                   AL
                    Level three.   Stall 25.
                                                     CUT TO:


22     OMITTED                                                       22
thru                                                                 thru
27                                                                   27


A28    EXT. AIRPORT PARKING STRUCTURE - ESTABLISHING - DAY           A28
                                                     CUT TO:


B28    INT. AIRPORT PARKING STRUCTURE - DAY                          B28
       CLOSEUP ON a large painted number 25 then PAN DOWN to
       reveal a new BMW.
       Vincent approaches the BMW and pretends to be searching
       for his keys while he waits for another car to pull out
       and drive away. The second it's gone, Vince deftly opens
       the BMW door with a "slim-Jim." He gets behind the wheel,
       hot wires the ignition and drives away. Vince is a pro.

C28    INT. BODY SHOP - DAY                                          C28

       The green BMW is already being repainted by some Men
       wearing goggles and using spray guns. Vince comes out of
       an office, counting a wad of bills, followed by the OWNER
       of the chop shop.

                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/15/88                                   12/13.

C28   CONTINUED:                                                 C28
                                 VINCE
                   This is only four thousand --

                                 OWNER
                   We're in a recession --
                   Everything's tough -- you want to
                   try someone else -- no hard
                   feelings.
                                 VINCE
                          (sourly)
                   Forget it.
                                 OWNER
                   You okay, Vince? You seem a
                   little worried.

                                 VINCE
                   Me? I laugh myself to sleep every
                   night, and I never sleep alone.
                   I'm doing great!
      The Owner smiles and turns. Vince continues counting the
      money, nervous as hell. Now --
                                                   CUT TO:

     TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                  14.

28   EXT. AIRPLANE - DAY                                         28
     Flying through clear, blue skies.


29   INT. AIRPLANE - ON STEWARDESS                               29
     Coming down the aisle, checking the passengers, as we
     hear:

                             JULIUS (V.O.)
                      (singing)
               'Put on your red dress, baby
               'Cause we're going out tonight...'
     A few passengers turn and look back at --


     JULIUS
     seated in the rear, still in his peasant garb, the bamboo
     suitcase resting on his lap. He has his headphones on
     and is singing along to the music, his eyes closed and
     his head bobbing.
                             JULIUS
                      (singing)
               'I better wear some boxing gloves,
               In case some fool might want to
                 fight.'

     The STEWARDESS removes his headphones and considers
     Julius with amusement.
                             STEWARDESS
               I knew you were trouble the second
               I laid eyes on you.
     Julius stares up at her, speechless and mesmerized.

                             JULIUS
                      (realizing)
               Sorry -- I've never heard this
               music before -- I love it.                             *
     She sighs, leans over him, fastens his seat belt, while
     Julius gazes down at her ample cleavage.

                             STEWARDESS
               The captain wants us to buckle our
               seat belts because we're expecting
               a little turbulence.

                             JULIUS
                      (reading her name
                       tag)
               Thank you, Betty Lou.
                                                 (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                        15.        *

29   CONTINUED:                                                        29
                                STEWARDESS
                  I bet you're a football player.

                                JULIUS
                  Actually, I'm a horticultural
                  botanist, a mathematician, and a
                  philosopher.

                                  STEWARDESS
                  Right.    And I'm a brain surgeon.

     As the Stewardess heads back up the aisle, a MAN jumps
     up, grabs her around the neck with one arm and brandishes
     a gun in his other hand.

                                  HIJACKER (MAN)
                           (to passengers)
                  Nobody   moves, or else we're gonna
                  have a   serious draft in here.
                           (turns to another
                            stewardess)
                  Get the   captain. I want to
                  discuss   our final destination.

     He continues maneuvering the Stewardess up the aisle.
     His back is totally to Julius now.


     JULIUS
     turns to the terrified elderly woman beside him who's
     clutching a hardcover Bible in her lap.
                                JULIUS
                         (whispers)
                  Excuse me, ma'am.

     As he takes the book from her, quickly draws back his
     arm --
                                                       CUT TO:

     HIGHJACKER

     The gun at the panicked Stewardess's head, he continues
     slowly up the aisle, shouting for everyone to freeze, not
     even to think about moving --
     -- now a hardcover book comes rocketing through the air,
     hits him in the back of the neck and he goes limp, fall-
     ing across some seats, the gun dropping from his hand.
                                                       CUT TO:

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   16.        *

29   CONTINUED:    (2)                                            29
     BUNCH OF PASSENGERS

     grabbing him, all of them brave and heroic -- a lot of
     commotion -- shouts of "I've got him," "Don't move," etc.
                                                  CUT TO:


     HAND
     retrieving the hardcover Bible from the floor and --

                                                  CUT TO:

     OLD WOMAN

     as Julius smiles reassuringly, returns her Bible to her,
     sits back in his seat.
                                JULIUS
                         (gently; calming her)
                  His mischief shall return upon his
                  own hand, and his violent dealing
                  shall come down upon his own head
                  -- Psalm 7:16.
     In front now, there is a lot of activity as various pass-
     engers hold the Highjacker, almost arguing over who's in
     control. Julius looks at them a moment, puts on his
     headset, closes his eyes and is soon bopping away to the
     music.
                                                  CUT TO:


30   EXT. LAX - FROM SKY                                          30

     As the plane circles to land.
                                                  CUT TO:

31   OMITTED                                                      31


32   EXT. LAX TERMINAL - LATE AFTERNOON                           32
     Julius exits the terminal surrounded by Orientals.     He
     makes his way to an airport shuttle bus.


33   EXT. HOLLYWOOD STREET - BAR - DAY                            33

     TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                      17.

34   INT. BAR - DAY                                                 34
     As Vince sidles into a booth, watched by a BARTENDER who
     clearly dislikes him.

                               BARTENDER
               It's him.    He's back.

     A pretty young cocktail waitress called MARNIE turns and
     stares daggers at Vince. Marnie is a fireball of a girl,
     all brass and sass on the outside and sweet as cotton
     candy on the inside, sort of a Jean Harlow valley girl.
     She approaches Vince, who greets her with effusive
     warmth.
                             VINCE
               Marnie! How are you?        Is your                       *
               sister around?                                            *

     Marnie pointedly scoops up the tip left by the previous
     occupants of the booth.
                                                                         *
     Marnie starts to wipe down the table, spilling crumbs into
     his lap.
                             MARNIE
               You total Linda's car. You pawn                           *
               her stereo. You declare us as                             *
               dependents on your tax return!?
                             VINCE
               What an amazing memory --
                              FEMALE (O.S.)
               Vince!   I knew you'd come back!

     Marnie's sister, LINDA, also a cocktail waitress, slips
     into the booth and gives Vince a big kiss. Linda,
     although just as attractive as her younger sister, has a
     completely different personality: she's trusting,
     dependent, and legally blind when it comes to Vincent.
                             VINCE
                      (to Linda)
               I am so sorry for all the
               miserable things I've done to you.

                              LINDA
               Like what?
                              MARNIE
               Linda!

                                                     (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                   18.

34   CONTINUED:                                                  34
                                LINDA
                         (to Marnie)
                  I'm not going to give him any
                  money. Just take care of my
                  station for a minute.

     Marnie exchanges an exasperated glance with the Bartender
     and walks away. Linda distances herself a little from
     Vince in the booth, not meeting his eyes.
                                VINCE
                         (emotionally)
                  I didn't come here for a loan,
                  sweetheart. I came to say
                  goodbye.
                         (beat)                                       *
                  It's not safe for me here. People
                  are trying to kill me.
     Vince starts to rise but Linda pulls him back down.
                                LINDA
                  What did you do, Vince?

                                VINCE
                  I got involved in the stock
                  market.
                                LINDA
                         (getting nervous)
                  I promised Marnie I wouldn't give
                  you money.
     Vince takes Linda's hand between his and stares into her
     eyes.
                                LINDA
                  Don't look at me like that...
                  Don't do that with your eyes... I
                  shouldn't even be here with you.

                                VINCE
                         (softly)
                  You are here and so am I,
                  Maybe millions of people go by,
                  But they all disappear from view,
                  And I only have eyes for you...
                  Linda. I only have eyes for you.
                                 LINDA
                          (moved)
                  That is so beautiful. How do you
                  make up that stuff? You're such
                  a poet.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                       19.

34   CONTINUED:    (2)                                               34
                                VINCE
                  You inspire me.
                                                                          *
                                                     CUT TO:              *

35   OMITTED                                                         35

36   INT. BAR - DAY                                                  36

     A man enters. He starts looking around, checking the
     booths. He looks like a professional enforcer, which in
     fact, he is. He is also the smallest of the Klane
     brothers: BURT KLANE.

     Vince ducks down under the table.
                                VINCE
                         (whispers)
                  It's the baby Klane -- I gotta
                  get the hell out.
     Burt Klane strolls to the middle of the room, then suddenly
     turns and faces Linda.
                                BURT KLANE
                  Where's the little shit?

                                LINDA
                         (very nervous)
                  You gotta be more specific,
                  considering our clientele.

                               BURT KLANE
                  Benedict.

                                LINDA
                         (laughs)
                  He wouldn't show his face around
                  here. Right, Marnie?
                                                                          *
     She looks down at --
                                                                          *
     VINCE

     He silently starts to crawl away in the direction of the
     back door.
                                MARNIE
                         (enjoying calling
                          him names)
                  Who, Vincent?                                           *
                                (MORE)

                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                       20.

36    CONTINUED:                                                      36
                                 MARNIE (CONT'D)
                   -- That weasel, that creep -- that
                   oily little slug -- that two-bit,
                   two-timing, waste of space -- that
                   pathetic, low-life pocket Romeo.

                                 BURT KLANE
                          (cutting her off)
                   Okay -- enough.
                                                      CUT TO:

A37   EXT. BAR - BACK DOOR - DAY                                      A37

      The back door opens and Vince crawls out on hands and
      knees. His journey abruptly ends as he now faces KLANE
      #2 -- BOB -- considerably larger than his brother inside.

B37   INT. BAR - DAY                                                  B37
      Vince is thrown in, forcefully, into a table.        He crashes
      onto the floor.
                                 BOB KLANE
                   Look what I found crawling around
                   out back.

                                                      CUT TO:

C37   INT. BAR - DAY (LATER)                                          C37

      A booth at the back of the restaurant: Vince is seated
      with the two Klane brothers. He hands over the money he
      picked up from the BMW -- $4000. The smaller Klane counts
      it quickly.
                                 BURT KLANE
                   This is only four thousand --

                                 VINCE
                   The rest is invested.     We're gonna
                   make a fortune.

      Bob suddenly punches Vince in the side knocking the breath
      out of him.
                                 BOB KLANE
                          (ominous)
                   Shut up.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                       21/22.

C37   CONTINUED:                                                    C37
      Linda comes over -- Very nervous, she looks around, then
      hands over an envelope.

                                 LINDA
                   I hope this helps -- Please don't
                   hurt him.

                                 BURT KLANE
                   There you go --
                          (he counts Linda's
                           money)
                   -- Another thousand -- Okay -- This
                   nice lady just bought you a day
                   Vince -- I want it all -- Twenty-
                   thousand -- this time tomorrow.                        *

                                  VINCE
                   Twenty -- ?   But I just paid --
      Just as he opens his mouth, Vince is elbowed again.
                                 BURT KLANE
                   That's just the interest.    The                       *
                   twenty's the principal.                                *


37    INT. BAR - NEAR DOOR - DAY (LITTLE LATER)                    37
      Linda is walking Vince out.
                                 VINCE
                   That was the most wonderful
                   birthday present anybody ever gave
                   me --
                                 LINDA
                   It's your birthday?   Why didn't
                   you tell me?
                                 VINCE
                          (suddenly honest)
                   I can't take the kindness.    It
                   gives me the shakes.
                                 LINDA
                   You'll tremble plenty before we're
                   through, Vince Benedict.
      They kiss.

                                                      CUT TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                 23.

A38    EXT. GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATRE - MAGIC HOUR                A38
       Vince brushes himself off, hesitates a moment, pulling on
       his left ear with his right hand.

       Immediately behind him, facing the opposite direction, is
       another man, also pulling on his left ear with his right
       hand. It is Julius --

       -- Their backs are to each other. Without ever catching
       sight of one another, they move off, going their separate
       ways. Now, from this --

                                                  CUT TO:

38     EXT. DOWNTOWN HOLLYWOOD STREET - NIGHT                     38

       Downtown Hollywood in all it's sleeze. There's a wax
       museum and a scientology center and every fast food place
       imaginable and people shouting as they sell things,
       "flowers" and street food and there's a porno house               *
       showing Tight 'n Tender and there's young people dressed
       like punks and old people boozed out and pimps and
       druggies and guys slumped unconscious in the gutter and
       crowds of tourists walking this way, that way, and there's
       noise and litter and one more thing --
       -- There's Julius, case in hand, staring around, taking it
       all in. We're a long way from his island now. He studies
       all the humanity swirling around him --
                                                  CUT TO:


       CLOSEUP ON JULIUS
       And you can see it on his face:   He loves it.

                               JULIUS
                        (almost a whisper)
                 ... How wonderful...


39     OMITTED                                                    39
thru                                                              thru
43                                                                43


44     EXT. HOLLYWOOD - NIGHT                                     44
       Julius, eating a hot dog, is walking along a street in
       Hollwyood. In his island peasant garb, he doesn't look
       all that unusual considering his surroundings.
                                                  (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                       24.

44    CONTINUED:                                                      44
      But Julius is pretty noticable no matter where he goes.

                                                      CUT TO:

      TWO HELMETLESS MOTORCYCLISTS

      watching Julius. More specifically, they are watching
      the expensive-looking leather-edged suitcase he carries in
      his hand. They look at the case a moment more, then
      Biker #2 gets his MACHINE PURRING softly.

A45   EXT. WINDOW OF FREDERICK'S OF HOLLWYOOD - WINDOW - NIGHT A45

      You never saw such lingerie.

      PULL BACK to reveal:
      Julius, staring at it, shaking his head.
                                 JULIUS
                          (to himself)
                   What an amazing country.
                                                      CUT TO:


      BIKER #1
      ROARING up beside Julius, smiling ingratiatingly.
                                 BIKER #1
                   Got a light, pal?
                                 JULIUS
                   Sorry, but I don't smoke... pal?

      Julius thinks he's found a friend.
                                 BIKER #1
                          (indicating "Fredericks")
                   Looking for something for your
                   girl friend?

                               JULIUS
                 I... don't have a girl friend. Do
                 women really wear these things?
                               BIKER #1
                 If you're lucky.
                        (a beat)
                 You from out of town?                                     *
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                    25.

A45   CONTINUED:                                                   A45
                                 JULIUS
                   Yes, a small island in the South                      *
                   Pacific, about 300 nautical miles
                   south-southwest of Fiji...
      Biker #2,   bounds along, and when he reaches Julius he
      grabs the   handle of the leather case that Julius holds,
      his plan   quite obvious -- to steal the case and disappear
      into the   crowded street.
      Not an original plan, certainly, but one that over and
      over again, always works --
                                                   CUT TO:


      CASE HANDLE
      Julius's hand holds fast to it.    Then --
                                                   CUT TO:


      BIKER #2
      As his mouth drops open as we --
                                                   CUT TO:


      JULIUS
      just sort of standing there, no big deal, not much effort
      showing on his face as Biker #2 begins to slowly rise
      into the air as he and his cycle are about to be parted
      and then --

                                                   CUT TO:

      CYCLIST #2

      still holding to the case as his CYCLE ZOOMS away from
      him and for a moment he is flat in mid-air, parallel to
      the cement sidewalk and --

                                                   CUT TO:

      RIDERLESS MOTORCYCLE

      ROARING into the crowd and people shriek, dive out of
      its way and --
                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - 4/14/88                                        26.

A45   CONTINUED:    (2)                                            A45
      CYCLIST #2

      falling to the pavement, his head colliding hard and he's
      out and --
                                                   CUT TO:


      RIDERLESS CYCLE
      ending its trip as it collides with a storefront and
      collapses on its side, MOTOR still ROARING but no
      movement anymore and --
                                                   CUT TO:


      CYCLIST #1
      stunned, going to his unconscious partner.
                                 BIKER #1
                          (to Julius)
                   What the hell did you do?
      Julius calmly kneels beside the still form. He puts
      his case down, and his hands move expertly across the
      prone figure.

                              JULIUS
                I did nothing, the pavement was
                his enemy.
                                                   CUT TO:


      JULIUS

      eyes almost closed as his skilled hands touch the guy a
      moment more.

                               JULIUS
                 I would say -- a concussion -- a
                 mild shoulder separation, and ribs
four to seven are cracked.

      Julius rises.
                              JULIUS
                Get him to a hospital.

      And now he picks up his case, starts to go; pauses.
                                                   (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - 4/14/88                                           27.

A45    CONTINUED:    (3)                                               A45
                                  JULIUS
                    And in the future, you should both
                    consider wearing helmets.
       A sweet smile.

                                                       CUT TO:

45     OMITTED                                                         45   *
thru                                                                   thru
47                                                                     47   *

48     EXT. HOLLYWOOD STREET - NIGHT                                   48    *

       Vince, approaching his car, sees a motorcycle COP putting
       a ticket under his windshield wiper. Vince marches over,
       examines the ticket.
                                  VINCE
                    Fifty-three dollars?   You gotta                         *
                    be kidding.

                                  COP
                    Your vehicle's in a handicapped
                    zone.
       Vince immediately hunches his shoulder and affects a
       limp.
                                    VINCE
                    So?    Do I look normal to you?

                                  COP
                    You don't have a 'handicapped'
                    sticker on your windshield.
                           (a beat)
                    Driver's license, please.
                                                       CUT TO:

       CLOSEUP - VINCE'S HAND

       It is being handcuffed to his car's door handle.

                                  COP
                    You've got over 200 outstanding
                    parking tickets, Mr. Benedict.
                    And you just had your birthday?
                    Well, your driver's license just
                    expired -- Happy birthday.                               *
                                                       (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                       28.

48    CONTINUED:                                                       48
      As we HOLD ON Vince's depressed face we FADE TO BLACK --

                                                       CUT TO:

A49   EXT. ORPHANAGE - DAY                                             A49

      Julius walks up the stairs leading to the front door.

49    EXT. ENCLOSED ORPHANAGE PLAYGROUND - DAY                         49

      Young boys in uniform are raucously enjoying their recess
      under the supervision of several nuns in habits.

                                 JULIUS (V.O.)
                   So, this is where my brother grew
                   up. I'm glad he had so many
                   friends to play with.                                     *


50    INT. ORPHANAGE DORMITORY - DAY                                   50
      An elderly MOTHER SUPERIOR looks dubiously at Julius as
      he stares out the window down on the playground.
      He turns and examines the dormitory which is lined with
      metal cots. He points to a cot near the door and smiles
      fondly.
                                 JULIUS
                   And that's where he must have
                   slept.

                                 MOTHER SUPERIOR
                   How did you know?

                                 JULIUS
                   It's the one I would have chosen.
                   It's next to the fire
                   extinguisher. In case of a fire,
                   I could have given the alarm, and
                   saved the other orphans.
                                 MOTHER SUPERIOR
                   We've only had one fire at St.
                   Charlotte's. Vince Benedict
                   started it, we like to think by
                   accident.

     TWINS - Rev. 4/15/88                                  28A.

51   INT. MOTHER SUPERIOR'S OFFICE - DAY                          51
     The Mother Superior opens a file cabinet and begins
     rummaging through it, watched by Julius.

                             JULIUS
               Tell me about him. Was he a good
               athlete? Did he like chess and
               poetry?

                                               (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                      29.

51   CONTINUED:                                                      51
                                MOTHER SUPERIOR
                  I'm certain that God had a purpose
                  when he created Vincent Benedict,
                  but it had nothing to do with
                  chess or poetry.

     She locates a file, removes it; the only thing inside it
     is a photograph, which falls to her desk.
                                MOTHER SUPERIOR
                  That's odd... the contents of his
                  file are missing.
     Julius picks up the photo -- a 13-year-old boy leering up
     at an attractive young nun.

                                 JULIUS
                  This is him?   He looks happy --                        *
                                MOTHER SUPERIOR
                         (sighing)
                  He should -- that's Sister Maria,                       *
                  his biology teacher.

                                JULIUS
                  I always liked biology.
                                MOTHER SUPERIOR
                  So did Vincent. He disgraced
                  Sister Maria, who had to leave
                  the order. Then he stole all the
                  money from our library fund and
                  ran away.

                                                     CUT TO:


52   EXT. ORPHANAGE - FRONT DOOR - DAY                               52
     The Mother Superior is trying, tactfully, to close the
     door on Julius.

                                JULIUS
                  But I have to find him.   Where do
                  you think he might be?

                                MOTHER SUPERIOR
                  Jail. A man of his character
                  could only be in jail. You're
                  full of goodness, Julius -- I pray
                  that you never find him.

     Sweet smile as the door is closed and we --
                                                     CUT TO:

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   30.

53   INT. LOS ANGELES JAIL - HOLDING CELL - DAY                   53
     A bunch of people are in the cell along with Vince. Most
     noticable is an amazingly tall, slender, muscular black
     man. We're talking a SEVEN FOOTER here. A bad tempered
     Seven Footer.
                             SEVEN FOOTER
                      (to Vince who is
                       scowling at him)
               What're you lookin' at?
                            VINCE
              At you, you jerk.
     The Seven Footer rises angrily to his full size. Vince
     moves right in on him -- he may be going through a bad
     patch, but make no mistake, Vince is tough.

                             VINCE
                      (to the others in
                       the cell)
               Tyrone Davis, averaged 23 points,
               eleven rebounds and four blocks a
               game his senior year. First round
               pick of the L.A. Clippers and now
               look at him.
                             SEVEN FOOTER
                      (stunned by the
                       amount of
                       information)
               Who're you?
                             VINCE
                      (as he gives
                       Tyrone a card)
               World International Athletics                           *
               Representation. Vincent Benedict
               -- President. I coulda got you a
               no-cut contract so you wouldn't
               have to heist T.V. sets for a
               living --

                                                  CUT TO:

     GUARD

     coming to the cell door.
                               GUARD
               Benedict!    Visitor.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - 4/14/88                                        31.

53   CONTINUED:                                                   53
                                VINCE
                         (moving away)
                  Call me when you get out, they're
                  always looking for centers in
                  Italy...

     And as he goes --

                                                  CUT TO:

54   INT. JAIL - VISITING ROOM - DAY                              54
     Julius is already seated in one of the cubicles, separated
     by a glass partition from the prisoner's side. This is
     a big moment for Julius and he looks around as various
     prisoners are brought in --
     -- and as a look of pleasure comes across his face --
                                                  CUT TO:


     GUARD
     leading an attractive, powerful inmate into the room.
     The guy is Julius's age.
                                                  CUT TO:


     JULIUS
     trying to fight his excitement, watching as the prisoner
     moves toward him --
     -- then past him.

     Julius, confused, stares for a moment straight ahead
     across the partition, and now he's more confused --

     -- because Vince is sitting across from him, dubiously
     studying him, arms crossed. There are phones on both
     sides of the glass partition. The room, it should be
     noted, is busy.

     Julius makes a smile.
     Vince just stares.

     Julius mutters "excuse me" and gets up, goes to a nearby
     GUARD.
                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - 4/14/88                                         32.

54   CONTINUED:                                                    54
                                JULIUS
                         (soft)
                  Excuse me, but I'm looking for
                  Vincent Benedict.
                                GUARD
                         (pointing to Vince)
                  You got 'im.
     Julius turns, looks at Vince, and as he walks back to his
     side of the cubicle and sits, he is overcome with the
     wonder of it all.
                                JULIUS
                         (impassioned, but a
                          bit rambling; his
                          emotions are in
                          control)
                  Vincent... dearest Vincent... I
                  have rowed halfway across the
                  world -- no, wrong, I only rowed
                  one day but I came halfway across                     *
                  the world -- I know you don't know
                  who I am, but believe me when I
                  say I have been waiting for this                      *
                  moment all my life...
     It's hard to tell what Vince is feeling but clearly the
     look of dubiousness is gone. He picks up the phone on
     his side, gestures for Julius to do the same. As Julius
     does, Vince at last speaks:
                                VINCE
                  You gotta talk into the phone,                        *
                  asshole.
     Julius is confused, momentarily.

                                JULIUS
                         (understands now --
                          into the phone)
                  Vincent...
                                                   CUT TO:


     VINCE
     listening, somewhat amazed.    Who is this loony?

                                JULIUS (V.O.)
                  ... Dearest Vincent...
     Vince glances quickly around to see that no one is
     listening.
                                                (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                       33.

54   CONTINUED:    (2)                                                54

                                JULIUS (V.O.)
                  I know you don't know who I am,
                  but -- I came halfway across the
                  world --

                                                      CUT TO:

     TWO OF THEM

                                VINCE
                         (cutting in)
                  -- Whoa. I still got another six
                  hours to pay the money back. You                         *
                  tell those crummy Klane brothers
                  that harassing a man when he's
                  already in the slammer is beneath
                  even them --
                                 JULIUS
                          (overlapping --
                           they do this a lot)
                  -- I don't know any Klane
                  brothers. I'm your brother,
                  Julius.
                                  VINCE
                           (stopped dead)
                  Huh?    Again?
                                JULIUS
                  I don't know any Klane Brothers.

                                 VINCE
                          (wary)
                  Yeah.   Go on -- I got that part.

                                JULIUS
                  My name is Julius -- I'm your
                  twin brother.

                                VINCE
                         (laughing)
                  Obviously -- the minute I sat
                  down I felt like I was looking
                  in a mirror.
                                JULIUS
                  We're not identical twins.

                                VINCE
                  I wouldn't be too sure.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                      34.

54   CONTINUED:    (3)                                               54
                                JULIUS
                         (sad)
                  You don't believe a word I've
                  said, do you?
                                VINCE
                  -- That's right. I don't believe
                  a word you said.                                        *
                                JULIUS
                  Vincent, I don't lie. I am your
                  brother. Let me help you get out                        *
                  of here.
                                VINCE
                         (now he's interested)
                  Oh... you want to help me get
                  outta here?
                               JULIUS
                  Yes.
                                VINCE
                  Well, money talks, bullshit walks.
                                JULIUS
                  How can bullshit walk?   Is that
                  slang?

                                VINCE
                         (to himself)
                  I'm in fast company here --
                         (to Julius)
                  Listen, you get me outta here,
                  I'll be whatever you want, best
                  friend, brother, nephew, niece,
                  grandma...

     Vince gets up --
                                VINCE
                         (to himself as he
                          leaves)
                  Just don't ask me to bend over --

                                                     CUT TO:

55   EXT. POLICE STATION - PARKING LOT - DAY                         55

     A bunch of impounded cars. Vince and Julius walk toward
     a small building in the center.
                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                     35.

55    CONTINUED:                                                     55
                                 VINCE
                   Listen, 'twinny,' I hope you
                   didn't blow your wad on those
                   tickets, 'cause it's gonna cost a
                   bunch more to release my car.

                                 JULIUS
                   I have some more money --
                                VINCE
                   You do?

                                 JULIUS
                   I am happy to help you, Vincent.
                   You're my brother. I love you.

                                 VINCE
                   Julius -- look -- ease up on the
                   love talk or I'm gonna be
                   tossing my cookies, all right?
                                 JULIUS
                   Tossing cookies, that is more
                   slang?
                                 VINCE
                   Just gimme your wallet, okay?
      As Julius sweetly hands it over --


56    OMITTED                                                        56    *


56A   EXT. POLICE IMPOUND OFFICE - DAY                               56A   *
      As Julius counts out almost the last of his money to the
      police attendant, who hands him a set of keys. Vince
      grabs them and walks out of the building. Julius
      follows.


57    EXT. IMPOUND PARKING LOT - DAY                                 57
                                 JULIUS
                   I know what you're thinking?

                                 VINCE
                   No, you don't.

                                 JULIUS
                   You're thinking that this whole
                   twin business is what you call
                   'bullshit.'

                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                        36.

57    CONTINUED:                                                       57
      This is exactly what Vince has been thinking.

                                 VINCE
                   Actually, I was thinking I'm going
                   to need some more money -- to put
                   gas in my car --

                                 JULIUS
                   You can take some more money --
                                  VINCE
                   I can?
                                  JULIUS
                   Sure...

                                 VINCE
                   We're brothers -- right?
      Julius tries to drape an arm around Vince's shoulder.
      Vince gives him a look. Julius drops his arm.
                                                       TIME CUT TO:


A58   EXT. IMPOUND PARKING LOT - DAY                                   A58
      Vince and Julius are walking down a long line of cars.

                                 VINCE
                   They arrest you, they put you                             *
                   behind bars, they fine you and                            *
                   then they hide your car.                                  *

                                 JULIUS
                   That's --
                          (points)
                   -- your car, isn't it?
                                                       CUT TO:


      VINCE'S MUSTANG
      Which is what Julius is pointing at.

                                  VINCE
                   Yeah --   How'd you know that was
                   my car.

                                  JULIUS
                   We're twins!
                                                       (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   37.

A58   CONTINUED:                                                   A58
      Vince unlocks his side, gets in. Julius, smiling and
      happy, starts to walk around to the other side.

                                 JULIUS
                          (very happy)
                   I'm so excited -- we'll go to
                   museums together, discuss
                   philosophy together, read books
                   together -- play chess together --
                              VINCE
                -- Get lost together --
      And on that, he GUNS his CAR the hell away, leaving
      Julius standing there.

                                                   CUT TO:


      JULIUS
      Deserted, alone in the sea of cars.


58    EXT. AIRPORT - PARKING LOT - DAY                             58
      As a gleaming new Cadillac rolls up to the ticket booth.
      Al leans out from the booth, taking in the car and its
      occupants -- two men, one in a Hawaiian shirt, one in a
      tanktop, both wearing Ray-Bans. They look like they're
      going on vacation.
                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                      38.

58    CONTINUED:                                                      58
                                 AL
                   Hey, the new Sedan DeVille... Very
                   nice.
      The driver, GARFIELD, just nods, holds out his hand for
      the ticket.

                                 AL
                   You guys must be going to Hawaii,
                   huh? Catch that good surf.

                                 GARFIELD
                   Something like that.
      The two men just stare straight ahead, uninterested in
      conversation. Al hands the driver a ticket.

                                 AL
                   There's plenty of space on level
                   four.
      The Cadillac accelerates up the ramp.


59    INT. PARKING LOT - INSIDE CADILLAC - DAY                        59
      as it pulls into a parking spot in the enclosed lot.
      Man #2, LARSON, opens an attache case, removes a
      cassette, inserts it into the tape deck while the driver
      wipes down the steering wheel, gearshift, etc. with a
      cloth to remove their fingerprints.


      OUTSIDE CADILLAC
      as the men get out, lock the car, wipe off the door
      handles, and then head for the elevator.

                                                      CUT TO:
A60   EXT. HOLLYWOOD OFFICE BUILDING - ESTABLISHING - DAY             A60

B60   INT. VINCE'S BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY                           B60

      As Vince approaches a door on which a sign reads:

                                VINCENT BENEDICT, INC.                *
                                SPORTS AGENT - ARTIST'S REPRESENTATIVE
                                IMPORT/EXPORT                         *
                                AUTOMOBILE SALES - RENTAL - LEASING   *
                                WHOLESALE PATIO FURNITURE             *
      His door opens and out come two furniture MOVERS with a
      desk.
                                                 (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                    39.         *

B60   CONTINUED:                                                    B60
                                 VINCE
                   What're you doing with my desk?

                                 MOVER
                   Taking back the furniture --
                   you're six months behind.

      He opens a desk drawer, pulls out a razor and begins
      shaving as he walks into his office.

60    INT. VINCE'S OFFICE                                           60
      Almost nothing is left but the phone on the floor, with
      Miss Busby, his secretary, standing by it. Vince is
      stunned.

                                 MISS BUSBY
                   I tried to stop them, Mr. Benedict --
                                 VINCE
                   It was time to redecorate anyway.
      The PHONE RINGS -- Miss Busby drops to her knees beside
      it.
                                  MISS BUSBY
                           (into phone)
                   Vincent Benedict, Incorporated --
                   Sports agent, artist's
                   representative -- import/export --
                   automobile sales, rentals, and
                   leasing -- wholesale patio
                   furniture -- How may I help you?
                           (listens briefly)
                   Oh, hi.
                           (to Vince)
                   It's Al.
      As she hands him the phone.

                                 VINCE
                          (taking it, talking
                           to her, sweetly)
                   Miss Busby -- Stacy -- this is a
                   transition period for the
                   corporation -- Why don't you take
                   a few days off.
                                 MISS BUSBY
                          (a little lost)
                   ... Aah -- all right. Whatever you
                   say, Mr. Benedict...
                                 (MORE)

                                                     (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                   39A.

60   CONTINUED: (A1)                                            60
                             MISS BUSBY (CONT'D)
                      (stops)
               Oh, before I forget... Happy
               birthday...
     She hands him a gift-wrapped present which he opens.

                                               (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                     40.

60   CONTINUED:                                                     60
                                VINCE
                  'Aqua-Velva' -- you shouldn't
                  have --
     She takes her purse, smiles, goes.    When he's alone,
     into phone:

                                VINCE
                  I hope you got some good news,                         *
                  Al --                                                  *

                                                   CUT TO:

61   INT. AL'S TICKET BOOTH - AL - DAY                              61

     On the phone in his ticket booth.
                                AL
                         (into phone)
                  Brand new Caddy on level four.
                                                   CUT TO:


62   INT. VINCE'S OFFICE - VINCE - DAY                              62
                                VINCE
                         (thrilled)
                  Great, I'll be right over.
     Vince drops to his knees in order to replace the phone
     into its receiver. He then scrambles up, straightens his
     suit, heads for the door, making sure his pony tail is
     perfect.
                                                   CUT TO:

63   INT. VINCE'S OFFICE - HALLWAY - EMPTY CORRIDOR OUTSIDE         63
     - DAY

     As Vince exits, turns, quickly locks the door, turns back
     into the corridor just in time for this --

     -- A huge fist slams brutally into his stomach.     Vince
     gags, falls to his knees as we:
     PULL BACK to reveal MORRIS KLANE, the biggest of them all,
     standing over Vince.

                                MORRIS KLANE
                  Time's up, Vincent -- Got the
                  money?

                                                   (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/15/88                                     41.

63   CONTINUED:                                                     63
     He bends over, picks Vince up by the neck like a toy doll,
     straightens him up briefly, then buries his fist into
     Vince's gut. Vince goes down. Harder than last time.                *
                                                    CUT TO:


     VINCE
     In agony, on his knees. It hurts to breath.       He finally
     manages to look up at the giant --

                                VINCE
                         (gasping)
                  Did you hit me yet? 'Cause I
                  didn't feel nothin'.

                                                    CUT TO:

     MORRIS KLANE
     He grabs Vince again.

                                MORRIS KLANE
                  You gotta understand something,
                  Benedict -- I like my work.
     He pulls  Vince groggily up and this time he's going for
     Vince's  face. He takes his time setting Vince up,
     getting  his chin at just the right angle. He's concen-
     trating  on his work, so he doesn't pay much attention to
     the fact  that the elevator door has opened behind.

     Klane draws   his fist back and is about to drive it into
     Vince's face   when he suddenly pauses; the expression on
     his face, at   first puzzled, becomes increasingly agonized
     as we REVEAL   that --

     JULIUS

     Behind him, is squeezing a pressure point on Klane's
     neck, rendering him unable to punch out Vince. Julius
     maneuvers the Klane off of Vince and forces him down
     onto the floor.

                                JULIUS
                         (quietly)
                  These are most unfriendly acts you
                  are committing.

                                 MORRIS KLANE
                          (totally surprised)
                  What?
                                                    (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                    42.

63   CONTINUED:    (2)                                             63
                                JULIUS
                  I don't know what the problem is,
                  but I'm sure it can be solved
                  without resorting to violence.
                                MORRIS KLANE
                         (absolutely in
                          agreement)
                  Okay, okay.
                                 JULIUS
                  Good.                                                 *
     Julius lets go of Klane, who gets to his feet, turns
     around, and instantly lets fly with his fist at Julius's
     face.

     Here Julius effortlessly blocks the punch and goes right
     on talking.
                                JULIUS
                  You moved too soon.
     Klane spins and aims a karate kick at Julius's head.
     Julius coolly ducks it and sends Klane crashing into a
     wall.
                                JULIUS
                  An important rule in a crisis                         *
                  situation -- negotiate first,
                  attack last. You never
                  negotiated. You don't know what
                  kind of enemy I am.

     Klane drags himself to his feet while trying to gauge what
     he's up against.

                                 MORRIS KLANE
                  Who are you?
                                JULIUS
                  Vincent's brother.
                                VINCE
                         (happily)
                  We're twins.

     Klane isn't buying it. Seeing a fire axe inside a GLASS
     CASE on the wall, he SMASHES through and grabs it.

                                MORRIS KLANE
                  You're firewood.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                      43.

63   CONTINUED:    (3)                                               63
                                JULIUS
                  You have no respect for logic --                        *

     Klane charges Julius, who sidesteps his blow. The axe is
     is imbedded in the wall. As Julius grabs him.

                                JULIUS
                  -- And I have no respect for those
                  with no respect for logic. You're
                  a very stupid person.

                                                     CUT TO:

     CLOSEUP - JULIUS

                                                     CUT TO:
     VINCE
     Watching as Julius picks up Klane with both hands and
     lifts him a foot up into the air, holding him there for a
     pause.

                                                     CUT TO:

     VINCE

     -- And this next is timed perfectly -- as he pushes the
     elevator button and...
                                                     CUT TO:


     ELEVATOR DOOR

     slides open and...
                                                     CUT TO:


     JULIUS
     As he heaves Klane across the corridor into the open
     elevator Klane crashes down hard just as the door slides
     shut and...
                                                     CUT TO:

     TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                     44.

63   CONTINUED:                                                     63
     VINCE

     Shouting as the door closes on the crumpled Klane.
                                VINCE
                  Tell your brother 'He messes
                  with me, he messes with my whole
                  family!'

64   EXT. VINCE'S OFFICE - STREET - LATE AFTERNOON                  64

     Despite himself, Vince is definitely warming to Julius.
                                VINCE
                         (happy)
                  I like it when you hit people!
                                JULIUS
                  I hate violence.
                                VINCE
                  But you're so good at it. We
                  ought to go into business together.
                  You could be a boxer and I'll be
                  your manager.
                                JULIUS
                  I don't think I could fight for
                  money.
                                VINCE
                  No problem. You do the fighting,
                  I'll keep all the money.
                                JULIUS
                         (laughing)
                  I'm worried about you, Vincent.
                                                                         *
     They reach Vince's Mustang and get in.

                                JULIUS
                  How much money do you owe? Don't
                  lie -- we're twins, I can feel
                  your pain.

                                VINCE
                         (exploding)
                  Why do you keep saying that?
                  We're not twins, we're not
                  brothers, we're nothing, and
                  you're only in this car because I
                  could use a little protection
                  these days --

                                                     (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   45.

64     CONTINUED:                                                   64
                                  JULIUS
                           (closing his eyes)
                    Twenty thousand?
                                  VINCE
                           (a beat; then,
                            quietly)
                    Due this morning.
                                                                           *
                                                    CUT TO:                *


AA65   INT. MUSTANG - DRIVING SHOT - LATE AFTERNOON                 AA65
                                                                           *
       Suddenly Vince bangs his forehead with the palm of his
       hand.

                                  VINCE
                    I don't know where my head is -- I
                    forgot I promised this friend of
                    mine -- Sammy -- I'd pick up his
                    car at the airport -- do me a big
                    favor, okay? Drive this car back
                    from the airport for me.
                                   JULIUS
                    I'd love to.
       Julius reaches into the glove compartment, takes out the
       car manual, begins speed reading it, running his index
       finger down the center of each page.
                                  VINCE
                    What are you doing with that
                    finger?
                                  JULIUS
                    Learning to drive.
       Vince isn't sure what's going on at this point. Now
       Julius studies Vince's shifting moves, the way his hands
       work the steering wheel. Now he's back to the manual.
       Now he's staring at Vince.
       Vince and Julius's heads are both in motion now --
       Julius's from the book to the wheel, Vince's from the
       road to Julius's finger. As their heads keep turning --
                                                    CUT TO:


A65    OMITTED                                                      A65    *

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                  46/47.

65   INT. PARKING LOT - DAY                                    65
     Vince checks beneath the caddy's tires, then rises,
     frustrated.

                             JULIUS
               What's the matter?

                             VINCE
               That dopey Sam -- He did it again.
               Forgot to leave the keys... A lot
               of handicapped kids are gonna be
               really disappointed...

                             JULIUS
                      (moved)
               Handicapped children?

                                                (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - 4/14/88                                            48.

65   CONTINUED:                                                       65
                                VINCE
                  This car was supposed to be
                  auctioned off at their charity
                  drive tomorrow. Oh, well, let's
                  go eat.

                                JULIUS
                  Maybe we should try to open it
                  ourselves...
     Vince raises his eyebrows in mock surprise.

                                VINCE
                  You think we should do a thing
                  like that?

                                JULIUS
                  Of course -- it's for the
                  children...
                                                      CUT TO:


     CLOSEUP - SLIM JIM
     Vince inserts it into the Cadillac's driver's-side                    *
     window, watched by Julius.
                                VINCE
                         (feigning ignorance)
                  I saw a guy from the auto club do
                  this once...
     The door locks suddenly pop up in unison.
                                  VINCE
                  Whaddya know?    Beginner's luck!

                                                      CUT TO:

     VINCE
     As he takes a breath, opens the door, scoots inside --

     -- and the instant he does there is this terrible
     shrieking SIREN sound --
     -- Vince frantically scrambles around, lying on the car
     seat, trying to make it stop but he can't --

     -- and then two things happen:
                                                      (CONTINUED)

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                    49.         *

65    CONTINUED:    (2)                                            65
      First, the car tilts and Vince is pitched unceremoniously
      forward, landing on the floor of the car under the steer-
      ing wheel. He scrambles back to the seat -- it's not easy
      because of the angle.
      Second, the SIREN STOPS.    Vince looks out the car window.

                                                   CUT TO:

      JULIUS

      holding the rear of the car several feet up in the air.
                                 JULIUS
                   When the back end is raised to an
                   angle greater than 45 degrees, a
                   mercury switch activates the
                   automatic cutoff system. The
                   alarm's computer thinks the car
                   is being towed away and shuts off.
                                VINCE
                   No shit...
      It's beginning to dawn on Vince that there may be more to
      Julius than meets the eye.


66    EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET - MAGIC HOUR                         66
      The Cadillac passes by, Vince at the wheel.
      A pause.
      Now the Mustang comes along, Julius at the wheel. He
      drives terribly, stopping and starting -- jerking along.
      Julius suddenly puts his foot on the gas and roars past
      Vincent.
                                                   CUT TO:

A67   INT. JULIUS' CAR - MOVING - DUSK                             A67

      Julius is speeding like a kid with a new toy. Suddenly
      the CAR PHONE BEEPS. He locates the source of the sound,
      and picks up the phone.
                                 JULIUS
                          (into phone)
                   Vincent Benedict's car.
                          (a beat)
                   Vincent! Where are you?

                                                   (CONTINUED)

)T(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                                   50.         *

A67   CONTINUED:                                                     A67
                                 VINCE (V.O.)
                   Ya see that little dot in your
                   rearview mirror? That's me.
                                 JULIUS
                          (waving into mirror)
                   Hi, Vincent.

                                 VINCE (V.O.)
                   There's a supermarket up ahead.
                   Take your foot off the gas and
                   very -- very -- very gently
                   put it on the brake.
                                 JULIUS
                   The brake -- right.

                                                     CUT TO:

B67   EXT. SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT - DUSK                            B67
      As Julius makes a sharp turn -- on two wheels -- into
      the parking lot and comes to a dramatic squealing stop
      that spins the car around 180 degrees.
      Vince's car pulls in a moment later. He gets out, gazes
      at the skid marks as a smiling Julius approaches.

                                 JULIUS
                   The brakes worked just fine!
                                 VINCE
                   Lemme tell you something about
                   America, Julius -- nobody likes
                   a smart-ass.

                                                     CUT TO:

67    INT. SUPERMARKET - NIGHT                                       67

      Julius and Vince enter the supermarket.
                                                     CUT TO:


      LINDA AND MARNIE
      are pushing a cart down one of the other aisles. Linda
      is filling it with birthday candles, cake mixes, etc.

                                                     (CONTINUED)

)T(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                                   50A.

67    CONTINUED:    (A1)                                            67
                                 LINDA
                          (as she reaches
                           for some cake mix)
                   Angel's food or devil's food?
                                 MARNIE
                   The answer's obvious.

                                 LINDA
                   There's only one Vince Benedict.
                   He's a force of nature.

                                                      (CONTINUED)

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                       51.        *

67    CONTINUED:                                                      67
                                 MARNIE
                   And that 'poetry' he pretends to
                   write. They're old song lyrics,
                   Linda.
      Linda stops pushing the cart and looks at her.

                                 LINDA
                   I know that -- Geez, you don't
                   think I know that -- ?
                          (soft)
                   It's so cute, the way he thinks
                   he's tricking me. Anyway, what's
                   wrong about other people's songs?
                   Some guys tell you dirty jokes.
                   It just proves that Vince has a
                   romantic soul.
                                                      CUT TO:
      MAGAZINE RACK
      Adjacent to the express checkout lane where Linda and
      Marnie now join the line. Julius picks up a Playboy and
      begins speed-reading it. His eyes widen at what he's
      reading, and seeing, and when he reaches the centerfold
      he audibly gasps.
                                MARNIE (O.S.)
                   Excuse me.
      She reaches past Julius to take a copy of Cosmopolitan.
      Julius drops the Playboy, which falls open on the ground,
      with the centerfold revealed. Flustered and blushing, he
      bends down to retrieve it, watched by Marnie, who can't
      take her eyes off the sheer beauty of his physique.

                                 MARNIE
                          (looking at the
                           centerfold)
                   She's not bad...
                                 JULIUS
                          (embarrassed)
                   I'm sorry. I had no idea these
                   magazines had things like that...
                   inside them.
      Julius tries to stuff the centerfold back into the maga-
      zine, but only manages to crumple it. Linda and Marnie
      exchange a look.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                     52.

67    CONTINUED:    (2)                                             67
                                 MARNIE
                   You didn't? Where've you been?
                          (gulping)
                   A desert island?
                                 JULIUS
                   As a matter of fact, a small
                   tropical island, in the South
                   Pacific, about 300 nautical miles
                   south-southwest of Fiji. I only
                   got here yesterday, but already                        *
                   I've found my wonderful brother.                       *
                                                                          *
                                  MARNIE
                Your brother?

                              VINCE (O.S.)
                That's right...
      They all turn and look at Vince, who's pulled his cart
      up behind them.
                                 JULIUS
                          (proudly)
                   My twin brother, Vincent.
      Linda and Marnie, stunned, look from Vince to Julius.
                                 VINCE
                          (to Linda)
                   God you look beautiful in this
                   light.
                                  LINDA
                   Vince... ?   I didn't know you had
                   a brother.

                                 JULIUS
                   You all know each other?
                                 VINCE
                   Julius, meet Linda and...
                          (sarcastic)
                   Her charming sister, Marnie.

                                 JULIUS
                          (significant)
                   Sisters?
                                   MARNIE
                            (to Julius)
                   Twins?
                                                    CUT TO:

A68   OMITTED                                                       A68

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                 52A-54.     *

B68   OUTSIDE THE SUPERMARKET                                   B68
      The girls stand holding their bags while the brothers
      are each in their cars.

                              VINCE
                       (waving)
                Goodbye girls, see you soon.

      And he guns off.
                              JULIUS
                       (waving)
                Goodbye girls, see you soon.
      And he guns off too -- only in his excitement he's gone
      into reverse.

                              JULIUS
                       (embarrassed)
                I've only been drivng for an hour.
      Now he follows Vince.
                              MARNIE
                Why do I think I'm going to see
                him again?
                       (beat)
                Like maybe tomorrow.

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                  55/56.

68   EXT. VINCE'S HOME - NIGHT                                  68
     Vince leads Julius from the garage to the front door.
     Julius is carrying all the grocery bags.

                             JULIUS
               Linda is your girl friend, isn't
               she?

                              VINCE
               Yeah.   Kind of.
                             JULIUS
               Is Marnie your girl friend, too?
                             VINCE
               Marnie! Marnie hates my guts.
               She seemed to like you.

                             JULIUS
                      (trying not to sound
                       too interested)
               She hardly knows me.
     A beat.

                             VINCE
               That's the best way --   women love
               men who are mysterious   and devious.
               It keeps them on their   toes --
               makes them excited you   know what
               I mean?
                             JULIUS
               No.

                             VINCE
               You do like women, don't you?

                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/15/88                                   56A.

68   CONTINUED:    (A1)                                          68
                                JULIUS
                  Very much, they're... strange
                  and sensitive and they have
                  compassion. I have the highest
                  respect for women.

     Vince listens to this earnest declaration and tries to
     keep a straight face. Suddenly the truth dawns on him.
                                VINCE
                  Now correct me if I'm wrong.
                  You're a virgin, aren't you?
                                JULIUS
                  That's private.

                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   57.

68    CONTINUED:                                                   68
      Vince clocks Julius's reaction as he removes an eviction
      notice from his front door.

                                 VINCE
                          (to himself)
                   He's a 230-pound virgin.                              *


69    INT. VINCE'S HOUSE - NIGHT                                   69
      It's a small one-bedroom decorated primarily with garden
      furniture. As they come inside, Vince is confronted by
      a reproachfully MEOWING CAT.
                                 VINCE
                          (to cat)
                   Alright! Alright! I got your
                   food. Yes! 'Liver and Cheese,'
                   'Chicken Giblets,' all your
                   favorites, Julius.
                              JULIUS
                You named your cat, Julius?

      Vince freezes, realizing the implications.

A70   INT. VINCE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT                                 A70

      Vince is seasoning some containers of take-out food and
      popping them in the microwave, while Julius strokes the
      cat who shares his name.
                              VINCE
                The secret to take-out veal
                Parmesan is adding a little extra
                cheese. I know you're probably
                used to growing your own vegetables
                and spearing fish in the lagoon,
                but here on the mainland we just
                nuke it!

      The microwave ALARM sounds, and it pops open.
                              VINCE
                Dinner is served!

70    INT. VINCE'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT                             70

      As Vince and Julius prepare to eat, they both turn their
      plates counter-clockwise, then dab their lips with their
      napkins. They both reach for the salt at the same moment.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   58.

70   CONTINUED:                                                   70
     They both freeze and stare at each other for a long beat.
     Julius smiles and we --

                                                  CUT TO:

71   EXT. AIRPORT GARAGE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT                   71

72   INT. AIRPORT GARAGE - NIGHT                                  72

     A man, pushing forty, appears, taking a keychain with a
     caddy fob on it from his pocket. This is WEBSTER.
     Dressed in businessman's clothing, he looks odd -- but not
     necessarily frightening. He walks to the spot where the
     car was.
                                                  CUT TO:


     PARKING SPOT
     It's definitely empty.
                                                  CUT TO:


     WEBSTER
     He looks at the Cadillac key.    Clearly, he is not happy at
     the turn of events.
                                                  CUT BACK TO:


73   INT. VINCE'S DINING ROOM - LATER                             73

     They've finished eating.
                                VINCE
                         (expansive)
                  So, let me get this right. One of                    *
                  our fathers was a famous football
                  player, another one was a physicist
                  at M.I.T. --

                                JULIUS
                  He won the Nobel Prize.

     Vince, playing along, rolls his eyes.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      59.

73   CONTINUED:                                                     73
                                VINCE
                  Naturally... so all of our dads
                  were these big shots and Mom was,
                  like, Superwoman, but she didn't
                  survive our delivery. I got sent
                  to an orphanage while you were
                  brought up in a tropical paradise
                  by this scientist you do research
                  for, but who doesn't actually pay
                  you because you don't need money.
                         (a beat)
                  Did I leave anything out?
     Julius ignores Vince's cynicism.

                                JULIUS
                  I think it's important we try to
                  find our fathers.
                                VINCE
                  You mean, all those geniuses who
                  contributed to the...
                         (making a jerk-off
                          gesture)
                  ... Sperm milkshake?                                   *
                                JULIUS
                  Why are you being so immature
                  about this?                                            *
     Vince throws down his napkin.
                                VINCE
                  Do you know how many times I've
                  heard stories like this? It's
                  every orphan's fantasy: 'My real
                  Mom and Dad were rich and
                  beautiful, but there was a mix-up
                  at the hospital and I got switched
                  with another baby... But one day
                  there's going to be a knock at the
                  door and there they'll be with
                  open arms, crying... "My darling!
                  My treasure! We didn't know! How
                  can we make it up to you?"'
                         (a beat)
                  I'm telling you this for your own
                  good, Julius. It's a crock.
     Vince goes over to a trunk, rummages in it, comes up with
     a dusty mouldering folder from which he removes a yellow-
     ing piece of paper.
                                                     (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                   60.

73   CONTINUED:    (2)                                           73
                                VINCE
                  I liberated this from my file at
                  the orphanage. Read it and weep.
     Julius takes the paper and reads aloud.

                                JULIUS
                  Dear Sister Anderson, your request
                  for orphans benefits for Vincent
                  Benedict has been denied.
                  According to our files his mother
                  did not die during birth. We have
                  a current address for her at 172
                  Canyon Glen Drive, Los Angeles.
                  Vincent's case seems to be one of
                  simple abandonment and as such he
                  is inelligible for aid.
     Vince snatches the paper back.    Julius stares at him,
     just stunned.
                                VINCE
                  That's right, Julius, she abandoned
                  me.
                                JULIUS
                  This letter was written thirty                      *
                  years ago. We were five years old                   *
                  -- Our mother... didn't die when
                  we were born...
                         (staring at Vince
                          now)
                  You've known all this time where
                  she was and you never contacted
                  her?
                                VINCE
                         (angry)
                  I don't know about your momma,
                  Miss Perfect of 1952, but my momma
                  was a slut, and if she's still
                  alive, I hope she's in a lot of
                  pain. She dumped me once -- no
                  way she gonna get a chance to do
                  it again --

                                JULIUS
                  Vincent, if they lied to us about
                  Momma for all these years, maybe
                  they lied to her, too. We must
                  find her, we must check this
                  address.                                            *
                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                    61.

73   CONTINUED:    (3)                                             73
     He can't hide the excitement.

                                VINCE
                  Julius -- slow down -- I've got no
                  time for this. You go hunt down                       *
                  Mom, I've got a cash flow problem                     *
                  to deal with.

     Vince goes to the PHONE which is RINGING.
                                 VINCE
                          (into phone)
                  What!
                             BURT KLANE (V.O.)
               We haven't forgotten about you,
               Benedict -- You better have our
               money tomorrow morning. Or else.
                                VINCE
               Or else what?
     Suddenly, Vince's    living room WINDOWS EXPLODE in a burst
     of GUNFIRE. Vince     and Julius hit the floor and try to
     shield themselves    from the SHATTERING GLASS. The sound
     of a CAR SQUEALING    away outside the window.
                             JULIUS
               Everyone seems so angry in America.


74   EXT. AEROSPACE PLANT - ESTABLISHING - DAY                     74
     A sign in front reads:     "SOUTHLAND AEROSPACE."


75   INT. AEROSPACE PLANT - CORRIDOR - DAY                         75

     The driver of the Cadillac (GARFIELD), and his partner
     (LARSON), now dressed in suits and ties, walk along an
     executive corridor toward the reception area.

                             GARFIELD
               The tests on the lower temperature
               gaskets look great.

                             LARSON
               Looks like an easy weekend.

76   INT. RECEPTION AREA - DAY                                     76

     As they head for Garfield's office, a SECRETARY tries to
     hail them.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                     62.

76   CONTINUED:                                                     76
                                SECRETARY
                         (concerned)
                  Mr. Garfield, there's a...                             *
                                GARFIELD
                         (preoccupied)
                  Not now.

77   INT. GARFIELD'S OFFICE - DAY                                   77

     As they enter they suddenly stop and stare as we...                 *
     PULL BACK to reveal --

     Webster, immaculate and well mannered, rising from a
     chair.
                                 GARFIELD
                  Who are you?
                                WEBSTER
                         (friendly)
                  I'm Webster, it's okay.
                                                    CUT TO:


     GARFIELD
     on the sound of the name.      He looks at Larson.   A beat.        *
                                LARSON
                         (terribly upset)
                  Christ, man, you were never                            *
                  supposed to come here.

                                GARFIELD
                         (rattled)
                  The deal was we were never supposed
                  to meet. You're supposed to be...

                                WEBSTER
                  Driving that Cadillac to Texas?
                         (holds up his
                          gloved hands)
                  Got my driving gloves, got my
                  driving glasses, got my hat...
                  but no car.

                                GARFIELD                                 *
                  The car was there! The merchandise
                  was in the trunk! Your instructions
                  were on the cassette!
                                (MORE)
                                                  (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                     63.

77   CONTINUED:                                                    77
                                LARSON (CONT'D)
                         (to Garfield)
                  He wants more money. That's what
                  this is about.
                                WEBSTER
                  Let me explain something to you.
                  I have a reputation to uphold.
                  People put their trust in me
                  because they know I always deliver
                  the goods and I always come back
                  with the money. This whole thing
                  is making me look very bad...
                  professionally.

                                GARFIELD
                  This is bullshit! The car was
                  there.
                                LARSEN
                  That's right. The parking
                  attendant thought we were off for
                  Hawaii.

                                WEBSTER
                         (a brief pause)
                  The parking attendant?
                                GARFIELD
                  He liked the car. We'd put on
                  those damn loud shirts so we'd
                  look like tourists --
                                LARSEN
                  He asked us if we were going
                  surfing. He was a jerk.

     Webster suddenly gets to his feet, smiles.                         *
                                WEBSTER
                  You know, I just realized that in                     *
                  twenty years of service no other                      *
                  client has ever seen my face.
                                GARFIELD
                         (nervously)                                    *
                  I don't think that's a problem.
     Webster pulls out a silencer-equipped pistol and puts
     a bullet in each of their foreheads. They lie very still
     and very dead.

                                                    (CONTINUED)

     TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                  63A.

77   CONTINUED:    (2)                        77
                                WEBSTER
                  Guess you're right.                 *

78   OMITTED                                     78
&                                                &
79                                               79

       TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                64.           *

80     INT. RECEPTION AREA - DAY                                  80
       As Webster emerges from Garfield's office and then turns
       back as if to say goodbye, watched by Garfield's
       Secretary.
                               WEBSTER
                 Thanks for everything, guys. I'll
                 see what I can do about those
                 Laker tickets.
                        (a beat)
                 Yeah, I'll tell her.

       Webster closes the door behind him, smiles charmingly
       at Garfield's Secretary.
                               WEBSTER
                 They want you to hold their calls.
                 They're going to be working late.
                                                 CUT TO:


81     OMITTED                                                    81
thru                                                              thru
87                                                                87


A88    EXT. WINDING ROAD (BEL AIR) - DAY                          A88
       As Julius jogs steadily uphill, checking the occasional
       house number against the address on Vince's letter.

B88    EXT. STREET (BEL AIR ESTATE) - DAY                         B88

       An imposing security gate stands wide open as several
       cars roll through it and climb up the long driveway.
       Julius, checking the address, sprints in after them just
       before the gates close.

C88    EXT. BEL AIR ESTATE - DAY                                  C88

       As Julius jogs up to the front door. The circular
       driveway is filled with cars. Adults and children are
       visible on the grounds; it appears that a party is in
       progress. Julius rings the doorbell, which is answered
       by GRANGER, a man of about 60; he's dressed in swimming
       trunks and sports an impressive physique. He's holding
       the hand of a five-year-old GIRL.

       Julius and Granger look at one another and, for a brief
       moment, hesitate, as if each of them finds the other
       vaguely familiar.
                                                 (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                     65.         *

C88   CONTINUED:                                                     C88
                                 GRANGER
                          (after a beat)
                   Yes?
                                 JULIUS
                   I'm terribly sorry to disturb your
                   party and I realize this might
                   sound strange, but I'm looking for
                   someone who lived here a long time
                   ago...
                          (finally)
                   Mary Anne Benedict.
      Granger reacts; he's speechless. Julius hands him the
      group photo of his mother, six fathers, Traven, and
      Werner.

                                 JULIUS
                   She was my mother.
      Granger looks at the photo, then at Julius.
                                 GRANGER
                   You're Mary Anne's son?
                                 GIRL
                          (pointing at photo)
                   Isn't that you, Grandpa?

      Julius gently takes the photo from the Girl, looks at the
      face she pointed at, then at Granger. Now Julius is
      speechless -- Granger is one of his fathers!
                                 GRANGER
                          (to Girl)
                   Why don't you go help your grandma
                   with lunch, honey?

      The little Girl disappears back inside.       Granger, clearly
      shaken, looks at Julius.

                                 GRANGER
                   They told your mother that you
                   died at birth...

      ON Julius's reaction, as we --

                                                     CUT TO:

D88   INT. GRANGER'S STUDY - DAY                                     D88

      Trophies, framed photos, other memorabilia of Granger's
      illustrious football career adorn the walls.

                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                    66.

D88   CONTINUED:                                                   D88
      Julius studies them admiringly while Granger looks at the
      group photo.

                                 GRANGER
                   I guess you could say I'm your
                   father...

                                 JULIUS
                   One of my fathers --
                                 GRANGER
                          (wistfully studying
                           photo)
                   'Mary Anne Benedict'... I haven't
                   said her name aloud for over 30
                   years. She was the love of my
                   life.
                          (shaking his head)
                   The times I've wondered what would
                   have happened if I'd married her...
                              JULIUS
                Why didn't you?

                              GRANGER
                She turned me down. Said she was
                afraid to have children. She took
                it real hard when they told her
                you died. She even stopped
                painting. Did you know she
                painted?
                              JULIUS
                Until yesterday I didn't even know
                she might still be alive... Who
                told her we died?

                                GRANGER
                'We'?
                              JULIUS
                I have a twin brother, Vincent.
                              GRANGER
                There's two of you? She never                            *
                knew that, either.

      This really gets to Granger -- the injustice of it all.
      He points to Traven's face in the photo.

                              GRANGER
                Mitchell Traven. He supervised
                the experiment for the government.
                              (MORE)

                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/25/88                                      67/68.

D88   CONTINUED:    (2)                                             D88
                                 GRANGER (CONT'D)
                   He's the one responsible for all
                   of this. He still runs the
                   genetics lab at Los Alamos, New
                   Mexico.

                                 JULIUS
                   I'll go see him.
                                 GRANGER
                   Watch out for him -- he's kind of
                   a dickhead, if you know what I
                   mean.
                                 JULIUS
                   No, I don't -- but I'm learning.

                                                      CUT TO:

88    OMITTED                                                       88
&                                                                   &
89                                                                  89


90    EXT. CHOP SHOP - DAY                                          90
      As the Cadillac enters through a gate and makes its way
      past the hulks of dead cars towards the same body shop
      we saw earlier.

91    INT. CHOP SHOP - INSIDE CADILLAC - DAY                        91

      As Vince cleans out the glove compartment, pocketing
      some cigars and spare change. He pulls the cassette out
      of the STEREO, glances at it, pops it back in, turns it
      ON, and hears:
                                 GARFIELD (V.O.)
                   Mr. Webster, I hope you're happy
                   with the vehicle we chose for your
                   little journey. When you get to
                   Houston, phone 713/555-0342 and                        *
                   ask for Beetroot McKinley. He
                   will arrange to trade you a
                   briefcase for the merchandise in
                   the trunk.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                      69.

91     CONTINUED:                                                      91
       Vince stops the car dead, the Body Shop Owner comes up
       to him.

                           BODY SHOP OWNER
                    New Caddy? Let's check it out.

       As the chop shop Owner checks under the hood of the Caddy
       -- Vince moves to the back of the car and pops open the
       trunk.
       The trunk is filled with a sleeping bag that might contain
       a dead body. Vince unzips the bag, sees some kind of
       giant engine part. He tries to lift it out -- It won't
       budge.

       Vince closes the trunk --

       Vince looks at the Owner who's already counting out the
       cash from his bankroll.
                                BODY SHOP OWNER
                  The car's okay -- I'll give you
                  three grand.

                                  VINCE
                           (deciding and
                            getting in the car)
                    Sorry -- the car's been promised
                    for a kid's charity.
                                BODY SHOP OWNER
                  Okay, four grand.
       As Vince starts to drive away:
                                  BODY SHOP OWNER
                           (calling out)
                    Okay -- Six thousand -- that's
                    as high as I'm going...
                                                       CUT TO:

92     OMITTED                                                         92   *
thru                                                                   thru
98                                                                     98   *


99     INT. VINCE'S APARTMENT - DAY                                    99
       A piece   of paper by the phone on which Vince is writing.
       It's got   Beetroot McKinley's name and phone number on it.
       And also   one amount: $20,000. On the desk is a map with
       Houston   circled. Vince has just finished dialing. The
       phone is   picked up before the first ring is half over.

                                                       CUT TO:

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                   70-76.

100   EXT. HOUSTON SKYSCRAPER - DAY                              100
      A sign on the top of the building reads:   "McKinley
      Aerospace."

                              VOICE (V.O.)
                Beetroot McKinley talkin'.

                                                   CUT TO:

101   VINCE'S APARTMENT - CLOSEUP OF VINCE - DAY                 101

      He doesn't know whether to shit or wind his watch just
      now -- God knows what he's into.
                              McKINLEY(V.O.)
                Who's cloggin' up the line?

                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - 4/14/88                                          77.

101   CONTINUED:                                                     101
                                 VINCE
                          (experimentally)
                   -- Uh... Webster -- calling from
                   California. I happen to have some
                   merchandise you might want --

                                                     CUT TO:

102   INT. McKINLEY'S OFFICE - DAY                                   102   *

      A huge office in Houston. We are looking at the bottom
      of a pair of fancy boots. It blocks the view for the
      moment of the speaker, but we can see a briefcase on the
      desk.

                                 McKINLEY                                  *
                   Well, bring it to me, son, and
                   let me enrich you.
                                 VINCE (V.O.)
                   It's the amount of enrichment I
                   want to talk about.

      Boots down now -- we are looking at a very rich, very
      tough S.O.B.
                                 McKINLEY
                   Don't try and renegotiate with Old
                   Beetroot, son --
                                                     CUT TO:


103   INT. VINCE'S APARTMENT - VINCE                                 103
      Edgy. His pencil bounces up and down on the crucial
      amount, the twenty thousand.
                                 VINCE
                   Look, Beetroot -- if we can't
                   renegotiate we wither and die.
                   I'm not delivering any goddam
                   Cadillac without knowing for sure
                   I got twenty for my cut.

                                                     CUT TO:

104   INT. McKINLEY'S OFFICE                                         104

      Beetroot.    Exploding.
                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      78.

104   CONTINUED:                                                     104
                                 McKINLEY
                   Listen, you little shit-for-brains
                   peckerwood, you're out of your
                   goddam crazy diseased greedy mind!
      We can see the briefcase now by the way -- it's open and
      seems quite full of money.

                                                     CUT TO:

105   INT. VINCE'S APARTMENT - VINCE - DAY                           105
      clearing his throat, taken aback by the violence of
      Beetroot's tone.

                                 VINCE
                   I guess twenty seems a little high
                   to you. I'm a reasonable guy --
                   I'll take fifteen --
                                 McKINLEY (V.O.)
                   Listen to me, you poor excuse for
                   a warmed over turd, a deal's a
                   deal --
                                VINCE
                   -- But --
                                                     CUT TO:


106   INT. McKINLEY'S OFFICE - CLOSEUP - McKINLEY - DAY              106
                                 McKINLEY
                   Don't 'but' me, the deal is five --
                                 VINCE (V.O.)
                   I can do better than five here.
                                 McKINLEY
                          (on his feet -- in a
                           fury)
                   If you can do better than five
                   million dollars, take it!                               *

                                                     CUT TO:

107   INT. VINCE'S APARTMENT - VINCE - DAY                           107

      as the words "five million dollars" really sink in.
      We are looking at what just might be the high moment of
      his life.
                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                       79/80.

107   CONTINUED:                                                       107
                                 VINCE
                          (hard to breathe)
                   F-five million dollars...
      He writes down the proper amount now:       $5,000,000.   Then
      he kisses the piece of paper.

                                 VINCE
                          (into phone)
                   Beetroot?

                                McKINLEY (V.O.)
                   What?
                                 VINCE
                   I'll see you in Houston -- after
                   all, fair is fair.
                          (staring at the
                           written $5,000,000)
                   I'll just have to find it in my
                   heart to live with your offer...
      Vince hangs up, jumps up and screams with joy. He puts
      the cassette in his pocket, crumples up the piece of
      paper, and sky-hooks it into the waste basket.
                                 VINCE
                   Five million dollars!

108   OMITTED                                                          108

109   INT. AL'S HOUSE - DAY                                            109

      Al and his wife Carla are tied to chairs in the dining
      room. Webster sits between them, drinking a cup of
      coffee and calmly loading his gun.

                                 WEBSTER                                     *
                   Your boss at the lot told me you                          *
                   were on duty when the Cadillac                            *
                   clocked in. Now what's his name?                          *
                                 AL
                   Okay... His name is Vince Benedict.

      Webster puts down the gun, jots down the name.
                                 WEBSTER
                   That's certainly a beginning.

                                 CARLA
                          (to Al)
                   I'm really disappointed in you --
                   ratting on your best friend.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                      81.

109   CONTINUED:                                                     109
                                 WEBSTER
                          (to Carla)
                   My best friend who's been
                   screwing my wife for three years.
                                CARLA
                   You knew?

                                 AL
                   All three years.

                                 CARLA
                          (indicating Webster;
                           angry)
                   And you never told me until there
                   was a stranger listening? Shit,
                   what about my reputation?
                                 WEBSTER
                   Where can I find Mister Benedict?

                                 AL
                   I'm not saying.
                                 WEBSTER
                   Let me get this right -- You're
                   protecting the weasel who's been                        *
                   screwing your wife for the past
                   three years.
                                 AL
                   He's my friend.

                                 WEBSTER
                   Well, I guess I'll have to beat
                   it out of you --

      Webster suddenly kicks over the chair with Al on it.
      Carla screams --

                                 CARLA
                   Stop -- I'll tell -- He lives at
                   1622 Westridge Place -- He's got
                   an office at the corner of
                   Highland and Hollywood.

      Webster writes it all down.
                                 AL
                   Thanks for saving me.

                                 CARLA
                   I always loved you, Al.
                                 (MORE)
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                      82.         *

109   CONTINUED:    (2)                                               109
                                 CARLA (CONT'D)
                   It's just I couldn't resist Vince.
                   It's those eyes -- he does this
                   thing with his eyes...
                                 AL
                   I love you too, Carla.

                                 WEBSTER
                          (getting up,
                           heading for the
                           door, shaking his
                           head)
                   No one's gonna believe this one.

                                                      CUT TO:


110   EXT. VINCE'S DRIVEWAY - DAY                                     110
      As Vince comes out of     his house, carrying a sleeping bag,
      pillow, some clothing,     a six-pack of soft drinks. On top
      of the stack is a map     of the Western U.S., which he's
      studying while singing     the song "Houston":
                                 VINCE
                          (singing)
                   'Going back to Houston, Houston,
                    Houston...'
      Vince tosses the items into the back seat of the Caddy,
      just as Julius jogs up the driveway and collapses against
      the Caddie door. He's red in the face, completely
      drenched with sweat, gasping for breath, having run all
      the way from Bel-Air.
                                   VINCE
                            (startled)
                   Jesus!
                                 JULIUS
                          (panting)
                   Vince, the most amazing thing has
                   happened.

                                 VINCE
                   You scared the living shit out of
                   me --
                                 JULIUS
                   I met one of our fathers. He told
                   me of a man in New Mexico who
                   probably knows where Momma is.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/27/88                                        83.         *

110   CONTINUED:                                                        110
                                   VINCE
                            (patronizing)
                   Great.
      Julius, in his fervor, grips Vince by the shoulders.

                                 JULIUS
                   She didn't abandon you -- she
                   didn't even know you were born!
                                 VINCE
                          (feigning concern)
                   Awww -- that's terrible.
      Vince removes Julius's hands, slides him away from the
      door, and opens it.

                                 JULIUS
                   And she was told that I died!
                                 VINCE
                   Look, Julius, I'm in kind   of a
                   hurry. Sammy wants me to    take
                   the car to Houston. Much    bigger
                   bucks when you raffle for   charity
                   in Houston.
      Julius takes the map from Vince, looks at it.

                                 JULIUS
                          (excited)
                   -- New Mexico is on the way to
                   Houston.

                                 VINCE
                          (snatching back map)
                   A lot of places are on the way to
                   Houston. I'll be back in a few
                   days. Stay in my apartment. Run
                   up my phone bill. Throw wild
                   parties. Take advantage of me.

      Vince gets in behind the wheel. Julius marches around
      the car and gets into the passenger seat beside him.

                                 JULIUS
                   Vincent, we have to go see this
                   man Traven in New Mexico!
                                  VINCE
                   No we don't.

      Julius slams his hand down on the top of the dash.
                                                         (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                      84.

110   CONTINUED:    (2)                                              110
                                  JULIUS
                   Yes we do!   And I'm coming with
                   you!

      Vince, realizing that Julius won't be denied, tries a
      new tack.

                                 VINCE
                   You know -- you're right. This is
                   fate -- destiny -- But there's no
                   way I'm gonna drive for 1500 miles
                   with you smelling like that --

                                 JULIUS
                          (calming down)
                   You're right -- I'll take a shower
                   -- be right back --

      Julius leaps out of the car and bounds into Vince's
      apartment. As soon as the door shuts behind him, Vince
      hits the CADDY'S IGNITION and begins SQUEALING out of
      the driveway in reverse... just as Linda and Marnie's
      car pulls into it, blocking his path. Vince slams his
      hands down onto the wheel in frustration.

      Linda and Marnie get out of their car, singing "Happy
      Birthday." Linda approaches Vince with a birthday
      cake, complete with lit candles.
                                 VINCE
                          (to himself)
                   Why does everybody have to like me
                   so much?
      Vince gets out of the car and, although it kills him,
      tries to put on a happy face for Linda.
                                 LINDA
                   Happy birthday, Vince.
                                 VINCE
                   Oh please -- It's not my birthday
                   anymore --
                                 MARNIE
                   Happy birthday, Vince.   Is Julius
                   around?

                                  VINCE                                    *
                   He's inside.                                            *
                                                                           *
      Marnie walks into the house.                                         *

      Linda gazes at Vince's belongings in the Caddy.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                     85.         *

110   CONTINUED:    (3)                                             110
                                 LINDA
                          (crestfallen)
                   Where are you going?
                                VINCE
                   Nowhere --

                                 LINDA
                   You were going somewhere -- you
                   weren't even going to say
                   goodbye --

      Vince, knowing when he's beat, whispers conspiratorially.
                                 VINCE
                   Okay, okay -- look, you can't tell
                   anybody this -- not even your
                   sister -- but I'm onto something
                   so huge it gives me a rash just
                   thinking about it.
                                LINDA
                   Like what?

                                 VINCE
                   I got something in here --
                          (pats the trunk)
                   -- I don't even know what it is
                   -- that's worth a fortune!
                                 LINDA
                          (shrieks)
                   A fortune! That's great!

      An apartment door opens, revealing a FEMALE NEIGHBOR of
      Vince's.

                                 NEIGHBOR
                   Never sleep with that man. Never
                   loan him money. And never believe
                   a word he tells you -- that's
                   free advice.
      She slams the door shut.

                                LINDA
                   Vince...?
                                 VINCE
                          (as if innocent)
                   I borrowed a cup of sugar from
                   her once...
                                                     (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      86.

110   CONTINUED:    (4)                                              110
                                 LINDA
                   I'm coming with you. I'm not
                   letting you out of my sight.
                                 VINCE
                   No you're not.

                                 LINDA
                   I am because if you say 'no' one
                   more time --
                          (suddenly shouting)
                   -- I'll tell everybody you're
                   hiding a fortune in your --
                                 VINCE
                          (a hand over her
                           mouth; he's
                           beaten and he
                           knows it)
                   Okay, okay. Just don't let on to
                   Julius. He thinks we're going
                   to look up our ancestors, like
                   in 'Roots' or something.



111   INT. VINCE'S APARTMENT - DAY                                   111
      Marnie snoops around, examines the group photo lying on
      top of Julius's suitcase. In the b.g. she can hear
      Julius singing in the shower --
                                 JULIUS (O.S.)
                   'Put on your red dress, baby,
                    'cause we're going out tonight...'
      She puts the photo back as the sound of SHOWER STOPS.
      Julius emerges from the bathroom, clutching a towel
      around his waist, and freezes at the sight of Marnie.
                                 JULIUS
                          (embarrassed)
                   Marnie -- excuse me -- I was just
                   taking a shower.

                                 MARNIE
                          (holding up a box                                *
                           of cookies)                                     *
                   I heard you singing -- I baked
                   some cookies for you.

      An awkward silence.                                                  *
                                                                           *
                                 MARNIE                                    *
                   I guess it was a dumb idea.                             *
                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                       87.

111    CONTINUED:                                                      111
                                  JULIUS
                    Not at all -- I'm really looking                          *
                    forward to tasting them.                                  *
                           (a beat)                                           *
                    I should put on some clothes --
                    But I'm not sure...

                                  MARNIE
                    Oh -- don't mind me.
       She turns her back to him.

       Julius realizes he has no clean shirt.
                                  JULIUS
                    I hope Vince doesn't mind if I
                    borrow one of his shirts.
                                  MARNIE
                           (while eyeing Julius
                            through her compact)
                    Just don't try wearing his pants.
       They both turn as --


       LINDA
       throws open the door, with a big smile on her face.
                                  LINDA
                    Guess what? Vince just invited
                    us all to go to New Mexico and
                    Texas.
       Vince comes in behind Linda, trying to conceal his
       exasperation.

                                  JULIUS
                    That's a great idea, Vince.

                                                       CUT TO:
112    OMITTED                                                         112
thru                                                                   thru
A114                                                                   A114

114    EXT. VINCE'S NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY                                 114

       The CAR, Vince at the wheel, ROARING away, the four of
       them happily inside.
       HOLD.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                       87A.          *

114    CONTINUED:                                                       114
       Now, from the opposite direction comes another car.
       Webster is driving. He spots the address, turns in
       and as he does --
                                                       CUT TO:


115    INT. VINCE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY                                   115
       It's pretty much a shambles as Webster ransacks the
       place. Frustrated, he moves out of the room as we --

                                                       CUT TO:

116    INT. VINCE'S BEDROOM - DAY                                       116

       as Webster begins working it over. He lifts up the
       mattress -- it's heavy -- pushes it to the floor and
       knocks the wastebasket over.
                                                       CUT TO:


       CLOSEUP - VINCE'S CRUMPLED PIECE OF PAPER
       As Webster unfolds it, reads Beetroot McKinley's name,
       phone number, and the sum "5 million dollars." Vince's
       CAT appears at Webster's feet, MEOWING. He reaches down
       and strokes it.

A117   INT. VINCE'S KITCHEN - DAY                                       A117

       Webster is feeding the cat when he hears a sudden,
       VIOLENT POUNDING at the front door.

                                  BURT KLANE (O.S.)
                    Open up, Benedict! I know you're
                    in there!

                                  WEBSTER
                           (to cat)
                    Your owner seems to be a very
                    popular fellow these days.

                                                       CUT TO:

117    INT. VINCE'S FRONT DOOR - DAY                                    117

       As it crashes open, revealing Burt Klane and his two
       large brothers, Bob and Morris.
                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                   87B.          *

117    CONTINUED:                                                   117
       Morris has his elbow in a sling and a bandage on his
       head, courtesy of Julius. They spread out... and then
       freeze at the sound of RUNNING WATER from the kitchen
       tap.

A118   INT. VINCE'S KITCHEN - DAY                                   A118

       As the Klanes burst inside and see Webster turn off the
       tap and begin drying his hands. He's friendly,
       solicitous, definitely non-threatening.

                                   WEBSTER
                    Howdy.

                                   BURT KLANE
                    Who are you?
                                  WEBSTER
                    It's not really important, is it?
                    I wanted to feed the cat before I
                    left.
       Webster starts for the door. Morris (the really big one)
       blocks the doorway, cutting Webster off.
                                  BURT KLANE
                    I asked you a question.

       Webster shrugs, exhales.
                                   WEBSTER
                    Who are you?

                                  BOB
                           (helping out)
                    We're the Klane brothers. That's
                    Burt and Morris -- I'm Bob.
                               WEBSTER
                 Interesting genetic pool. You're
                 looking for Vince Benedict, right?
       The brothers all nod.

                               WEBSTER
                 Am I Vince Benedict?
       Morris stares hard at him, shakes his head.

                               WEBSTER
                 So what's the difference who I am?
                                                    (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                         88/89.     *

A118   CONTINUED:                                                      A118
                                    BURT KLANE
                    Hit him, Bob.

       Bob steps forward. Before he can do anything, Webster
       pulls out his GUN and SHOOTS him in the foot. Then
       Webster turns and SHOOTS Burt in the foot. The two
       brothers crumble to the floor, screaming in agony.

                                  WEBSTER
                           (to Morris)
                    Your brothers seem to have a
                    problem with their feet.
                           (dangerously to
                            Morris)
                    It could be contagious.

       Morris immediately backs away and lets Webster pass by.
                                  WEBSTER
                           (polite, as he
                            leaves)
                    Have a good, good day.


118    OMITTED                                                         118

119    EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT                                            119

       A sign reads:    WELCOME TO ARIZONA.      The CADDY ROARS
       by.
                                                       CUT TO:

)J(    TWINS - Rev. 6/16/88                                   90.

120    INT. CAR - NIGHT                                             120
       Linda, in the front seat, has her head resting on Vince's
       shoulder.

       Marnie has her head on Julius's shoulder as well. She
       seems peacefully asleep while Julius sits carefully not
       daring to move. As Marnie cuddles closer to him, her
       short skirt rides even higher up her thighs. Julius sighs
       deeply. His biceps bulge and one of the shirt sleeves
       tears apart at the seams.
       Vince watches through the rearview mirror, knows what's
       going on. Or rather, what isn't going on, yet. He drives
       on through the night.
                                                    CUT TO:


A121   EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT                                         A121
       The car speeds by.

121    EXT. GAS STATION - DAWN                                      121

       The car is being serviced.    Linda and Marnie are stretch-
       ing their legs.
                               LINDA
                 Did Julius like the cookies?
       Marnie shrugs.
                               MARNIE
                 I'm not sure... he said they'd
                 provide one hundred percent of
                 the average daily requirement of
                 fourteen source vitamins in a
                 high-fiber form that's an
                 integral part of a properly
                 balanced diet.

       Linda looks at her.    A beat.
                               LINDA
                 I think that's good.

                               MARNIE
                 I really hope so.

122    OMITTED                                                      122    *

)J(    TWINS - Rev. 6/16/88                                   90A/91.

A123   INT. GAS STATION - CONVENIENCE STORE - DAWN               A123
       Vince picks out a T-shirt from the racks for Julius.

                               VINCE
                 This ought to fit you.
       Julius removes the shirt he borrowed from Vince, who
       pretends to be horrified at the sight of Julius's huge
       muscles.
                               VINCE
                 Whoa -- get away from that window!
                 There's women and children out
                 there!
                        (staring at him)
                 What is wrong with you?

                               JULIUS
                 What?
                               VINCE
                 You allergic to something?
                               JULIUS
                 No.   Why?
                               VINCE
                 What are those bumps doing all
                 over your body? You're all
                 swelled up. You look like you're
                 about to explode.
                                                  (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                     92.

A123   CONTINUED:                                                     A123
                                  JULIUS
                           (finally getting it)
                    We can't all be born beautiful
                    like you, Vince. Some of us --
       Julius puts on the T-shirt and looks at himself in a
       mirror. Emblazoned across its front is a Hells Angel
       Death head and the motto: BORN TO BE BAD.
                                  VINCE
                    -- Are just born to be bad. It's
                    you, Julius. Oooh, you are so
                    scary...

B123   EXT. GAS STATION                                               B123

       Linda and Marnie watch by the car as the boys emerge from
       the shop. They stare at the T-shirt on Julius.
                                 MARNIE
                    Julius...
       As he walks past, Julius slaps her five.
                                  JULIUS
                    Let's rock and roll.
       He opens the car door and climbs in.
                                  VINCE
                           (to the girls)
                    It's his first T-shirt.


123    EXT. ROAD - DAY                                                123

       The car driving along.    Day now.     Spectacular scenery.
                                                      CUT TO:


124    OMITTED                                                        124

A125   EXT. SANTA FE - MOTEL - DAY                                    A125 *

       As Vince pulls the car to a stop in front of the motel.               *
       Linda and Marnie get out, followed by Julius, who starts              *
       to get into the front seat beside Vince. Marnie touches               *
       his hand.                                                             *

                                 MARNIE
                    Good luck.                                               *

                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                    A92A.      *

A125   CONTINUED:                                                  A125
                                 JULIUS
                    Thank you.

                                  MARNIE
                    See you later.

       Julius, blushing, climbs into the front seat while Vince
       leers out the window at Linda.
                                  VINCE
                    See if you can get us a room with
                    a king-sized bed, okay?
       Linda smiles at him, and winks. Julius, misunderstanding
       the sleeping arrangements, leans out the window.

                                  JULIUS
                           (to Linda or to
                            Vince)
                    That's not necessary. I always
                    sleep on the floor.
       Vince looks askance at Julius, then pulls the car away.
       HOLD ON Linda and Marnie, gazing curiously after them.
                                                     CUT TO:

      TWINS - Rev. 5/25/88                                   92A.

125   EXT. LOS ALAMOS - DAY                                         125
      The Caddy drives through this mysterious town in the
      mountains of New Mexico.

126   EXT. LAB BUILDING - DAY                                       126

      Julius and Vince have parked the car and are walking to
      a research building. Vince is trying to humor Julius who
      is full of a quiet confidence.
                              VINCE
                Now promise me something.
                              (MORE)
                                                (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                       93.

126    CONTINUED:                                                      126
                                  VINCE (CONT'D)
                    If this professor Traven says he's
                    never heard of Mom, and us twins,
                    and all our dads, and the
                    experiment, I don't want you to be
                    upset.
                           (a beat)
                    -- Because this is entirely
                    possible.
                                  JULIUS
                    You still think I'm making it all
                    up, don't you?
                                                       CUT TO:


A127   INT. LAB BUILDING CORRIDOR - DAY                                A127
       As TRAVEN, now a tanned, fit 70-year-old, stands framed
       in his office doorway, looking coldly out at Vince and
       Julius. He looks like more of a prick than ever.
                                  TRAVEN
                    I don't know who you are and I                            *
                    don't know what you're talking                            *
                    about. Now get the hell out of                            *
                    here before I call security.

       Traven slams the door shut in their faces.
                                  VINCE
                           (vindicated)
                    Well, that's that. On to Houston.
       He leads a stunned Julius down the corridor, towards
       several armed security guards.

                                  JULIUS
                    He's lying!

                                  VINCE
                    Keep your voice down. This place
                    is crawling with security --                              *

                                  JULIUS
                    For the first time in my life, I
                    am --
                           (looking for the
                            word)
                    -- pissed off!

                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                    94.

A127   CONTINUED:                                                   A127
                                  VINCE
                    Don't do this to me. I got a
                    car to deliver. The last thing I
                    need is a detour in the slammer --
       Julius furiously stops and turns around.

                                  JULIUS
                    I'm going to make him tell us
                    the truth...

                                 VINCE
                    No...
                                                    CUT TO:


127    INT. TRAVEN'S OFFICE - DAY                                   127
       Traven looks up from some papers on his work table as --

       HIS OFFICE DOOR

       comes flying off its hinges and crashes to the floor.

       JULIUS

       marches inside, towards a startled Traven, as Vince tries
       to restrain him.
                                                                           *
       Julius shrugs Vince aside, approaches Traven and shoves             *
       the group photo into his face.                                      *
                                  JULIUS
                           (indicating photo)
                    That's our mother -- those are our
                    six fathers -- that's Werner --
                    and that's you! Start talking!

       Traven decides, turns to Vince.
                                  TRAVEN
                    You turned out just like I thought
                    you would, Vincent. What did you
                    do, escape from prison?
       Vince stops dead, shell-shocked.

                                  VINCE
                    ... How did you know my name?
                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                      95.

127   CONTINUED:                                                      127
                                 TRAVEN
                          (reptilian smile)
                   I named you.
      Vince's jaw drops as he realizes --                                   *

                                  VINCE                                     *
                   Holy shit.   It's all true.                              *
                                                      CUT TO:


128   INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY - DAY                                     128
      As CAMERA MOVES SLOWLY DOWN it, we realize this is a
      reprise of our film's opening location.


      LABORATORY DOOR
      Chained and padlocked.      Traven unlocks it, pulls off the
      chains.


129   INT. LAB - DAY                                                  129
      The very same one we saw in our opening, now covered in
      dust and cobwebs. Julius and Vince take it all in;
      they're numb, while Traven seems in control again.
                                 TRAVEN
                   This room was sealed as soon as
                   your mother gave birth.


      JULIUS

      approaches a delivery table, touches it gently, looks
      back at Traven.
                                 TRAVEN
                   You came out first, of course...
                          (indicating Vince)
                   We weren't expecting him.


      VINCE
      gazes at the "blender" we saw Traven demonstrating in
      1953.

                                 VINCE
                          (awestruck)
                   This must be where you made the
                   milkshake...
                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                   96.

129   CONTINUED:                                                  129
      TRAVEN

      gazes contemptuously at Vince.
                                 TRAVEN
                   We weren't making milkshakes.
                          (indicating Julius)
                   We were making the most fully-
                   developed human the world has ever
                   seen.

      Vince is not unhappy at this information.
                              VINCE
                But instead of just one perfect
                kid, Mom had two of us -- way to
                go, Mom.
                              TRAVEN
                Wrong. The embryo split in two,
                but it didn't split equally. All                        *
                the purity and strength went into
                Julius. All the crap that was
                left over went into what you see
                in the mirror every morning.
                                 VINCE
                          (stunned)
                   Whoa -- I'm the crap?
                              JULIUS
                It's not true, Vince.
                              VINCE
                No, I want to hear this.
                       (to Traven)
                I'm left-over crap? I'm no good?

                                JULIUS
                He's wrong.

      Angry tears well up in Vince's eyes.
                              TRAVEN
                Just look at him --

                              VINCE
                You tellin' me I'm a side
                effect!?!

                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                     97.

129   CONTINUED:    (2)                                             129
                                 TRAVEN
                          (dismissive)
                   You haven't got the brainpower to
                   understand this -- Vincent, and I
                   haven't got the time -- show's
                   over.

      He turns to go.
      Julius grabs Traven, slams him up against the wall.

                                 JULIUS
                          (at boiling point)
                   Tell us where our mother is...                         *
                   dickhead!

                                 TRAVEN
                          (terrified)
                   Whispering Pines... it's an
                   artists colony... two hundred
                   miles north of Santa Fe.
                                 JULIUS
                   If you're lying to me.
                          (the famous snarl)
                   I'll be back.
      Julius tosses him aside.

                                                    CUT TO:

130   EXT. LAB PARKING LOT (LOS ALAMOS) - DAY                       130

      Vince is sitting in the car, slumped over the wheel.
                                 VINCE
                   My life just got flushed down the
                   toilet.
                                 JULIUS
                   You're wrong, Vincent. Your
                   life's just about to begin.
                                 VINCE
                   I'm genetic garbage.

      Julius shakes his head.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                    97A.

130   CONTINUED:    (A1)                                          130
                                 JULIUS
                   Vincent, we're twins.                                *

      Vince looks at his brother.
                                 VINCE
                          (patronizing)                                 *
                   I know this is a touchy subject                      *
                   for you, Julius. But the fact is,                    *
                   we don't look the same -- we don't                   *
                   act the same, we don't talk the                      *
                   same -- we don't dress the same.                     *
                                JULIUS
                   I know.

                                 VINCE
                          (angry)
                   So how come if we're the same,
                   we're so damn different.                             *
                                 JULIUS
                   We had six fathers, Vince. We're
                   different parts of a lot of
                   different people.
      Vince is starting to get interested again.
                                VINCE
                   Yeah?
                                 JULIUS
                   And remember, I was taken to a
                   beautiful island, protected,
                   educated, loved, given every
                   opportunity to grow, to dream, to
                   create. But you had none of that.

      Vince remembers. All the bravado about loving being an
      orphan has gone now.

                                 JULIUS
                   You had nobody. Nobody to love
                   you, nobody to trust you, nobody
                   to encourage you. All life taught
                   you was that the only person you
                   could count on was yourself.
      Tears begin to well up in Vince's eyes.

                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      98.

130   CONTINUED:                                                     130
                                 JULIUS
                   You're the missing part of my
                   life and I'm the missing part
                   of your life. And when we find
                   our mother we can fill the
                   missing part of hers. We won't
                   be alone anymore, Vince.
                          (a beat)
                   We can be a family.
      Vince looks at his brother.      A beat.

                                  VINCE
                   A family?   You really think so?

                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                      98A.

130   CONTINUED:    (2)                                             130
      Julius nods.    Vince thinks about it some more.

                                 VINCE
                   With like Thanksgiving dinner?
                   And Christmas trees...

                                 JULIUS
                   ... and a real home where you'll
                   always be welcome.
                                VINCE
                   Always?
                                 JULIUS
                   Even when you've been bad.

      Vince begins to brighten.
                                                      CUT TO:


131   EXT. DOWNTOWN SANTA FE - ESTABLISHING - DAY                   131


132   INT. CLOTHING STORE (SANTA FE) - DAY                             132
      As Vince ushers Julius through the door.
                                 JULIUS
                   Is this necessary?
                                 VINCE
                   I'm not introducing you to my
                   mother dressed like some
                   goatsherder from Albania. You
                   need some new clothes.

      A SALES CLERK approaches Vince.
                                 SALES CLERK
                   Can I help you, sir?

                                                      (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                99.

132   CONTINUED:                                                132
                                 VINCE
                   Do I look like I need help?
                          (indicating Julius)
                   Here's the problem.
                          (looking around)
                   Maybe I'll try on a couple of
                   things myself.

133   EXT. CLOTHING STORE - LATER                               133

      As Vince and Julius emerge, dressed in identical outfits;
      each in his own way looks like a male model from an
      Italian fashion magazine.

                                 JULIUS
                   Do I look okay?
                                 VINCE
                   You look better, put it that way.
                   We got to do something about the
                   way you walk. You're moving a
                   tad stiff, Jules. Ever see                         *
                   Frankenstein?
                                 JULIUS
                   I read the book.
                                 VINCE
                   That's not gonna help. You got to
                   walk like you're moving in time to
                   music. I'm not talking about
                   military marches now, I mean
                   Aretha Franklin, Otis Redding,
                   Wilson Pickett, Archie Bell and
                   the Drells and a couple of white                   *
                   guys.                                              *

      Julius doesn't have a clue. Vince dons sunglasses and
      demonstrates a soulful strut.

                                 VINCE
                   Like this... You just got to try
                   to be cool, you know? Try these
                   on.

      Indicating glasses.
      Julius puts on sunglasses, snaps his fingers, tries to
      ape Vince's moves while Vince appraises him.

                                 JULIUS                               *
                   Am I cool now? --                                  *
                                VINCE                                 *
                   Mr. Ice.                                           *

      TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                  100.

134   EXT. PARK (SANTA FE) - DAY                                   134
      Linda and Marnie look up in amazement as Vince and Julius
      bop down the pavement towards them.

                             MARNIE/LINDA
                Wow!

                              JULIUS
                       (excited)
                We know where to find our momma!
                             VINCE
               Everything Julius said was true.
               I'm the product of geniuses!
                             LINDA
               I always knew that.

                             VINCE
               Of course, but it's nice to make
               it official.
                                                                         *
                             JULIUS                                      *
               Tommorrow we're going to finally
               meet our mother.
                             VINCE                                       *
               And tonight we celebrate!


135   INT. VINCE AND JULIUS'S MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT                 135
      Vince is finishing dressing, making sure he looks partic-
      ularly fantastic. Julius hangs back; something is
      bothering him.
                                                                         *
                             JULIUS
                      (embarrassed; a burst)
               Vince, you've got to help me --
               I've never been out on a date
               before... what should I do?

                             VINCE
               Talk to her, buy her some drinks,
               dance with her. Girls like to
               dance.

      Julius looks at his brother.
                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                  100A.

135   CONTINUED:    (A1)                                         135
                                JULIUS
                   Dance?

                                 VINCE
                   I guess you haven't done that
                   before either.

                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      101.

135   CONTINUED:                                                      135
      Julius shakes his head.

                                 VINCE
                   Well -- forget all that disco
                   shit, everyone's seen it. When I
                   really want to romance a girl, I
                   waltz with her.

                                 JULIUS
                   You dance with them?                                     *

                                 VINCE
                   It turns them to putty in your
                   hands.

                                                     CUT TO:


      VINCE
      He shoves a chair out of the way, making a little room.
                                 VINCE
                   Okay, come here, put your feet by
                   my feet --
                                 JULIUS
                          (coming over)
                   -- Thank you for this, Vince --
                                 VINCE
                          (a pained look on
                           his face)
                   -- I said put your feet by my feet
                   not on my feet! --
      Julius looks at his brother, then self-consciously takes
      his hands.
                              VINCE
                I'll lead, you follow. Okay, one,
                two, three, turn...
                       (AD LIB as follows)
                ... put your arm here -- you're
                breaking my fingers -- you're not
                wrestling a boar 300 miles south
                southwest of Fiji -- don't clench
                your teeth --
      Vince begins to take Julius through the steps slowly at
      first, then as Julius gains confidence they begin to
      sail round the room, and we --
                                                     CUT TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                    102.          *

136    INT. DADDY'S GIRL - NIGHT                                     136
       Julius and Marnie in the middle of the large dance floor
       in a large club -- and Julius is waltzing magnificently.

       Marnie, thrilled, stays with him step for step as we --
       PULL BACK to reveal --

       Vince and Linda, waltzing brilliantly, too. The four of
       them have the whole floor to themselves as other dancers
       ring the area, watching and shouting encouragement.

       The SONG ENDS -- Everyone applauds -- Our two couples head
       over to their table.
                               VINCE
                        (to Julius)
                 Well, you've learned to waltz.
                 Now it's time to introduce you to
                 the wonderful world of getting
                 shit-faced.
                                                    CUT TO:


A137   INT. DADDY'S GIRL - BOOTH                                     A137
       Vince, Linda, Julius and Marnie are seated at a table
       covered with quite a few empty beer bottles. They are
       all a little drunk.
                               JULIUS
                 Did you know they had beer in
                 ancient Egypt?

                                MARNIE
                 Er... no...

                               JULIUS
                 Actually it was invented by the
                 Assyrians, but the Eygptians were
                 the first people to perfect the
                 malt fermentation process.
                               LINDA
                 You sure know a lot about beer.

                               MARNIE
                 He knows a lot about everything.
       Julius polishes off the bottle, belches.

                                                    (CONTINUED)

)J(    TWINS - Rev. 6/16/88                                      103.          *

A137   CONTINUED:                                                       A137
                                  JULIUS
                    But it's all from books. Until
                    tonight I never had a beer. All
                    theory, no practice -- the story
                    of my life!

                                  VINCE
                    Well, we're going to change all
                    that -- aren't we, Marnie?
       Julius, embarrassed, looks over at Marnie, who's smiling
       sweetly at him.
                                  JULIUS
                    Can I ask you a question?

                                  MARNIE
                    Anything...
                                  JULIUS
                    Am I shit-faced yet?
       Linda, surprised, does a spit-take with her beer.

                                  MARNIE
                           (laughing)
                    You're getting there.
       Vince gets to his feet.
                                  VINCE
                    Please excuse me -- my back teeth
                    are floating.

       Vince exits.    Julius looks at Marnie, blushes, gets to
       his feet.

                                  JULIUS
                    I better see if mine are, too.
       Julius takes off after Vince.

                                                       CUT TO:

B137   INT. DADDY'S GIRL - MEN'S ROOM - NIGHT                        B137

       As Vince and Julius approach the urinals. The both si-
       multaneously flush before unzipping. Julius smiles.

                                  JULIUS
                    You do that too, huh?
                                                       (CONTINUED)

)J(    TWINS - Rev. 6/16/88                                  104.          *

B137   CONTINUED:                                                   B137
                                  VINCE
                           (lying)
                    Not all the time.
                           (a beat)
                    Listen, Marnie's got the hots for
                    you. Tonight could be your lucky
                    night...

                                  JULIUS
                    I don't think she really likes me.

                                  VINCE
                    Piece of cake. You're nervous
                    'cause it's your first time.
                    Perfectly natural.

                                  JULIUS
                    Were you nervous?
                                  VINCE
                    I was twelve and she was a nun --
                    that's real pressure.
       They both finish at the urinals and begin washing at the
       sink.
                                  VINCE
                    I got to admit it, Jules -- since
                    I met you, life is getting better
                    all the time.
       Julius, a little smashed, can't hide his feelings.    He
       grips Vince by the shoulders.

                                  JULIUS
                    For me, too, Vince! Sometimes I'm
                    so happy, I want to pick you up
                    and hug you!
       Julius starts to do so, just as another man enters.

                                  VINCE
                    Hey, cut it out! Not in here!
       Julius releases Vince, who clocks the other man's
       reaction.

                                  VINCE
                           (to Julius)
                    Go easy on the beer, okay?


137    OMITTED                                                      137

)J(   TWINS - Rev. 6/16/88                                104A.

138   INT. McKINLEY'S OFFICE - NIGHT                          138
                              BEETROOT
                Lookin' forward to it.

      As Beetroot hangs up, the CAMERA SLOWLY PANS to reveal he
      is not alone. In the b.g. is a very hard-looking man,
      Beetroot's bodyguard. And standing close to the desk
      is WEBSTER.

                              BEETROOT
                       (to Webster)
                Sorry, Webster, looks like I'm
                doin' business with someone else.
                              WEBSTER
                       (nods)
                I'd do the same thing. You want
                the delivery, it's not your
                problem who delivers.
                       (handing him a
                        card)
                If you ever need me, my answering
                service forwards all messages.
      And he's gone.
                              BEETROOT
                       (handing card to
                        bodyguard)
                Put this in my personal file.
                       (staring at the
                        door)
                God, I love a professional...


139   OMITTED                                                 139   *
&                                                             &
140                                                           140

      TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                     105.

141   INT. DADDY'S GIRL - BOOTH - NIGHT                              141
      Linda and Marnie, both a little tipsy. Linda suddenly
      freezes at the sight of Morris Klane scoping the room.
      Morris is still wearing a bandage from his beating by
      Julius.
                              LINDA
                Did you tell anybody we were
                coming to Santa Fe?
                              MARNIE
                       (unconcerned)
                Well, I phoned work and told them
                we wouldn't be coming in for a few
                days... Oh, I forgot to tell
                you -- we've been fired.

                              LINDA
                       (tight-lipped)
                Let's go to the ladies' room.
                              MARNIE
                But we just went.
      Linda takes Marnie by the hand, just as --


      BURT AND BOB KLANE
      each with a cast on his foot, each supported by a crutch,
      force them back into the booth.
                              BURT KLANE
                Hello, girls -- Do you mind if we
                sit down and enjoy the music with
                you?
                                                    CUT TO:

      VINCE AND JULIUS

      approach the table. Burt and Bob open their jackets,
      revealing they have guns on the girls. Morris Klane
      appears behind Vince and Julius.

                              BURT KLANE
                This has gone way past a simple
                case of loan deliquency.
                              BOB KLANE
                We don't like getting shot.                                *

                              VINCE
                What are you talking about?    We
                didn't shoot anybody.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      106.

141   CONTINUED:                                                      141
                                 BURT KLANE
                   It's no way to do business.

                                 JULIUS
                   What do you want?

                                 BURT KLANE
                   We want to take Vince out to the
                   parking lot and kill him.
      A long beat.

                                 VINCE
                   That's kind of drastic, don't you
                   think?

      Morris grabs Vince roughly by the arm.
                                 MORRIS KLANE
                   Let's go.
                                 JULIUS
                          (ominous)
                   Don't touch him.
                                 BURT KLANE
                          (suddenly rough)                                  *
                   This is not your problem -- you                          *
                   don't want me to hurt these lovely
                   ladies, do you?
      He pushes his gun into Marnie's side.
                                  MARNIE
                           (cries out)
                    -- Ow!

                                 JULIUS
                   You moved too soon...
                                 BURT KLANE
                   What?
                                 JULIUS
                   The second rule in a crisis
                   situation:

                                 MORRIS KLANE
                          (wary)
                   He's starting that funny talk
                   again...

                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                 107.          *

141    CONTINUED:    (2)                                          141
                                  JULIUS
                    If you choose to bluff, you must
                    be prepared to have your bluff
                    called.
                                  BURT KLANE
                    This is no bluff -- Asshole --

       Burt gives a small head signal and two very large men
       stand up from a nearby table. They each grab one of
       Julius's arms.

                                  BURT KLANE
                    Meet my cousins.
                           (to the Klanes)
                    Get these jerks outside.

       Just then, so sudden and quick that it's over as soon as
       it begins, Julius double kicks the seated Burt and Bob in
       the head. They're out cold before they realize they've
       been attacked.
       Without stopping, Julius whips his arms together in front
       of him bringing Sam and Dave into painful contact with
       each others' head. They, too, are now out cold.
       Vince uses this opportunity to stomp, with all his might,
       on the toe of Morris who's busy watching Julius dismantle
       his relatives. Morris screams and lets go of Vince, who
       runs to the nearby pool table, grabs a cue and slams it
       over the head of the now hobbling Morris. All five
       Klanes are out cold.
                                  VINCE
                    How many of those... rules do you
                    have?

                                  JULIUS
                    Quite a few. They were formulated
                    by a Kendo swordsman in the 17th
                    century, but their philosophical
                    underpinnings can be applied to
                    many other areas of life.
                                 VINCE
                    I bet.

A142   OMITTED                                                    A142
thru                                                              thru
143                                                               A143

B143   EXT. SANTA FE MOTEL - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT              B143

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                      108.         *

143   INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT                                         143
      Julius is unpacking his suitcase on one of the beds --
      arranging his books on the bedside table, hanging his
      clothes on hangars. Vince watches him, glances at
      his watch, and begins to edge towards the door.
                                 VINCE
                   Uh... we got cable TV, a fully
                   stocked bar, free ice -- we're
                   in great shape.
                                 JULIUS
                   Where you going?
                                 VINCE
                   I thought I'd just go and tuck
                   Linda in for the night.

      Vince picks up one of Julius' heavy tomes.
                                 VINCE
                   Maybe read her a bedtime story.
                          (with a wink)
                   Don't wait up for me.

      Julius looks fondly at his brother as he sees him to
      the door.
                                 JULIUS
                   What a day, Vincent, we visited
                   our birth place. We bought new
                   clothes. We danced the waltz.
                   We get into a fight -- We've got
                   this great room.
                          (heart-felt)
                   It just doesn't get any better
                   than this.

      Vince gives Julius a sly look as he lets himself out of
      the room.
                                 VINCE
                   Oh yes it does.
                                                      TIME CUT TO:


      CLOSE - A TV SCREEN
      showing a clip of the "3 Stooges" at their moronic best.

      JULIUS

      sits watching the TV, nodding in amusement, laughing,
      slapping his knee in pleasure.

                                                      (CONTINUED)

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                    108A.      *

143   CONTINUED:    (A1)                                          143
      He returns his attention to the book he's been reading
      -- something the size of a dictionary -- but can't help
      returning his gaze to the TV.
      He freezes at the sound of a KNOCK at the DOOR. Embar-
      rassed by what he's been watching, he quickly turns off
      the TV, and goes to answer the door, still holding the
      book.
                                 JULIUS
                          (calling out)
                   You forgot your key -- I know.
                   Lucky I waited up.
      Julius opens the door, revealing Marnie, who walks in
      right past him.

                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                    109.

143   CONTINUED:                                                     143   *
                                 JULIUS                                    *
                   Hi.                                                     *

                                 MARNIE
                   Hi -- Vince and Linda want to be                        *
                   alone, so I'm afraid I'm going to
                   stay here. Which bed should I
                   take?
                                 JULIUS
                          (stunned)
                   Either... I always sleep on the
                   floor.

      Watched by Julius, Marnie pulls the curtains shut, kills
      the overhead lights, all the while providing him with
      glimpses of various parts of her anatomy. She gets into
      one of the beds, turns off the bedside lamp.
                                 MARNIE
                   Good night.
                                 JULIUS
                   Good night.
      Julius puts the blanket and pillow from the other bed
      onto the floor between the two beds, then shuts off the
      other lamp.
      Silence...
                                 MARNIE
                   This mattress is awful.
      Getting out of bed, she pulls the blanket and pillow
      with her as she steps over Julius, who tries not to look
      up, and gets into the other bed.
                                  MARNIE
                   Sorry.   Good night.

                                 JULIUS
                   Good night.

      Silence...

                                 MARNIE
                   This mattress is just as bad as
                   the other one.

      She gets out, again dragging the blanket and pillow,
      puts them down on the floor next to Julius. She crawls
      under the blanket, turns her back to him.

                                                     (CONTINUED)

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                  110.

143   CONTINUED:     (2)                                       143
                                 MARNIE
                   This is better... Good night.

                                   JULIUS
                   Good night.

      Silence.     Marnie shivers, chattering her teeth.

                                   JULIUS
                   Are you cold?

                                   MARNIE
                   It's alright.
                                 JULIUS
                   No, please, take my shirt.      I'm               *
                   baking.
      Julius strips it off and hands it to her. She puts it
      on and pulls the blanket over her shoulder. Again she
      shivers.
                                 JULIUS
                   You still cold?


                                   MARNIE
                   Just my legs.

      Julius lies there, thinking about it.
                                 JULIUS
                   Well, I could give you my...

                                    MARNIE
                             (sitting up)
                   Thanks.

      Julius reaches under the blanket, removes his bottoms and
      passes them over. Marnie puts them on under her blanket.

                                 JULIUS
                   Anything else?
                                 MARNIE
                   I'd love a glass of water.

                                    JULIUS
                             (realizes that he's
                              now nude)
                   Right.

      He wraps his blanket around his waist, goes into the
      bathroom, comes out with a glass of water. He hands it
      to her.
                                                 (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                    111.

143   CONTINUED:    (3)                                           143   *
                                MARNIE
                   Thanks.

      She spills the water all over her top and bedding.
                                MARNIE
                   Oh, great!

      She starts stripping off everything she's wearing.      Julius
      averts his eyes.

                                 MARNIE
                   Do you mind if I share your
                   blanket? -- Mine's all wet.

                                 JULIUS
                          (gulps)
                   No -- that would be okay.
      They both lie down under his blanket.      Silence...
                                 MARNIE
                   Could we switch sides?   I like to
                   sleep on the left.
                                JULIUS
                   Sure.
      She starts to roll over Julius, then pauses directly
      above him and looks him dead in the eye.
                                 MARNIE
                   Can I ask you something for a
                   change?
                                JULIUS
                   Anything.

                                 MARNIE
                   Do you like me? I mean, even a
                   little bit?

                                 JULIUS
                   I... I'm crazy about you, Marnie.
                   But there's something about me
                   you ought to know.

      Marnie tenses, expecting the worst.
                                MARNIE
                   What?

                                 JULIUS
                          (looking away)
                   I'm a virgin.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                    112.

143   CONTINUED:    (4)                                          143
      Marnie glances heavenward, and silently mouths the words
      "thank you." She smiles down at Julius and starts very
      gently kissing him.
                                                   CUT TO:


144   OMITTED                                                       144
&                                                                   &
145                                                                 145


146   INT. VINCE AND LINDA'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT                  146
      Linda, dressed in a negligee, comes out of the bathroom
      area. Vince, wearing pajamas, is on the floor, legs
      curled under the bed, doing sit-ups.
                                 VINCE
                          (under his breath;
                           counting)
                   -- Eighteen -- nineteen --
                                 LINDA
                   You sick or something?
                                 VINCE
                   Julius gave me a few pointers --
                          (counting)
                   -- Seventy-five -- seventy-six --
                   I don't need to exercise, but
                   Mom's gonna see me for the first                       *
                   time in thirty-five years, I wanna
                   look my best.
                                 LINDA
                   She'll love you whatever you
                   look like.
                                 VINCE
                   I know she will -- I have that
                   effect on people --
                          (counting)
                   -- One hundred and forty-three --                      *
                   one forty-four --                                      *
                          (beat)
                   -- I just hope she's not too
                   disappointed in Julius -- he can't
                   help how weird he seems at the
                   start --

                                                   (CONTINUED)

)T(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                                 113.         *

146   CONTINUED:                                                    146
                                 LINDA
                   I think you're nervous.

                                 VINCE
                   Hey -- I sleep great every
                   night --
                          (beat; softer)
                   -- what if she's disappointed
                   in me?
                                    LINDA
                             (pats the bed)
                   C'mere.
                                 VINCE
                          (final sit-up)
                   Five hundred.
                          (gets up)
                   Don't want to overdo.
      He goes into her arms.
                                 LINDA
                   If she's disappointed in you, then
                   she's a fake -- who could want
                   more from a son?
                                 VINCE
                          (thinking about it)
                   You're right.
                          (a beat)
                   I couldn't do this without you,
                   Linda.

                                 LINDA
                   I know. That's why, when we get
                   back, I think we should move in
                   together.
                                  VINCE
                           (threatened)
                   Whoa!   Move in together?
                                 LINDA
                   I'm not saying we have to    get
                   married or anything, and    it's not
                   about me wanting to keep    an eye on
                   you, either.
                          (warmly)
                   I just want to live with    you.

                                 VINCE
                   I'm no good at playing house --
                   I'm grouchy in the morning, cranky
                   in the afternoon, moody at night --
                                                    (CONTINUED)

)T(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                                   113A.     *

146   CONTINUED:    (2)                                            146
                                 LINDA
                   I promise not to try and make you
                   happy unless you want me to.
      Vince is clearly unnerved by the twin emotional demands
      of Linda and meeting his mother.

                                 VINCE
                   Why don't we sleep on this, okay?
                   I mean, I've got a big day
                   tomorrow.
                          (shifting gears)
                   It's gonna be great -- taking my
                   best girl to meet my mom.

                                 LINDA
                   Am I really your best girl?
                                 VINCE
                   There's nobody else, Linda, not
                   anymore.
                                 LINDA
                   There better not be, because...
                          (quoting)
                   'I only have eyes for you...'
      They kiss.

                                                     CUT TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                   114-116.
                                                                         *
147    INT. JULIUS AND MARNIE'S MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT (LATER)       147
       They're both gazing up at the ceiling, bathed in after-
       glow. Marnie has obviously just had the sexual experience
       of her life. Julius is equally dazed and happy.
                               MARNIE
                 Are you sure you've never done
                 this before?

                               JULIUS
                 I think I would have remembered...

       They start to kiss and we start to hear four RAUCOUS
       VOICES singing a great old ROCK SONG a capella.
                                                  CUT TO:


A148   EXT. NEW MEXICO LANDSCAPE - DAY                            A148
       It's our heroes singing. The Cadillac is moving quickly
       through the extraordinary landscape.
                                                  CUT TO:


B148   EXT. SMALL INDIAN VILLAGE (NEW MEXICO) - DAY              B148
       The Caddy pulls up by a roadside flower stand.

                                                  (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                     117.          *

B148   CONTINUED:                                                      B148
                                  LINDA
                    Let's get her some flowers.

                                  VINCE
                    Good idea. One bunch from me,
                    one from Jules.

                                  MARNIE
                    And one from us --
       Julius smiles happily at Vince's thoughtfulness.

148    EXT. WHISPERING PINES - DAY                                     148

       In the mountains, which dramatically tower over a lovely,
       wide park-like area with a large adobe building and a few
       smaller satellite huts.
       The car drives up a long, dusty driveway to the entrance,
       which is protected by high gates. Our principals exit
       the car.
       They approach the fortress-like gated entrance, gazing
       around at the magnificent scenery. Both men carry flowers
       and seem self-conscious about the prospect of finally
       meeting their mother.
                                  JULIUS
                    It's very beautiful, isn't it,
                    Vince?
                                  VINCE
                    Not to mention valuable -- real
                    estate like this must be worth a
                    fortune.

                                  JULIUS
                           (a rebuke)
                    You mustn't always think of money.

                                  VINCE
                           (innocent)
                    You got me wrong -- I'm just
                    saying it's nice Mom's loaded --
                    that's a worry she won't have to
                    have in her old age.
       Julius smiles at Vince and rings the bell. A MALE
       CUSTODIAN answers the door -- friendly but very firm.

                                  CUSTODIAN
                    Can I help you?
                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                      118.

148    CONTINUED:                                                      148
                                  JULIUS
                    We'd like to see Miss Mary Anne
                    Benedict, please.
                                  CUSTODIAN
                    I'm afraid that's not possible.

       As he starts to close the door, Vince takes charge.
                                  VINCE
                    We've come a long way. I can
                    assure you she's going to be very
                    happy to see us.
                                  CUSTODIAN
                    I suggest you write a letter to
                    the Benedict Foundation stating
                    your business.
       The Custodian politely closes the door in their faces.
                                    VINCE                                     *
                    A foundation?

                                                      CUT TO:

A149   EXT. WHISPERING PINES - OUTER GARDEN WALL - DAY              A149

       Our principals circle the wall, try a locked door to no
       avail. They'll have to go over. Julius boosts Marnie
       over the wall. Linda boosts Vince over.
                                                      CUT TO:


B149   OMITTED                                                         B149

C149   EXT. WHISPERING PINES - INNER GARDEN - DAY                   C149

       Our principals take in the scene -- a large, enclosed
       garden, with pathways, shady trees, all very lovely, with
       a great view of the sun setting against the surrounding
       mountains.

       Their attention is drawn to -- A PAINTER working at an
       easel. Several young artists are gathered around her,
       admiringly. This is happening underneath a beautiful old
       tree and the sight is just lovely.

                                                      CUT TO:
                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                    119.

C149   CONTINUED:                                                 C149
       THE QUARTER

       They stand still watching.
                                  JULIUS
                           (indicating the
                            bucolic scene)
                    You think it's her? I do.
                               VINCE
                 Gotta be.
                        (as they still
                         stare)
                 Well, don't just stand there.

                               LINDA
                 Introduce yourselves.                                   *
       As they take a step in the direction of the painter.
                                  WOMAN (O.S.)
                           (sharp and loud)
                    Hey!

                                                    CUT TO:

       FEMALE GARDNER

       on her knees. She's in work clothes, smudged, hair in
       a bandana. Maybe 60, there's something terribly appealing
       about her. She's her own woman. She gets up from her
       knees now as they approach -- but not before we note the
       quality of her gardening -- it's the size Julius had
       back on the island.
                                  GARDENER
                    Should you be here?
                                  VINCE
                           (tries to joke)
                    That depends on how you feel
                    personally about trespassing.
                                  GARDNER
                           (umamused; to
                            Julius about Vince)
                    Is he always funny like that?
                                  JULIUS
                           (very politely)
                    We'd like to see Mary Ann
                    Benedict please; is she here?
                                                    (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                     120.        *

C149   CONTINUED:    (2)                                             C149
                                  GARDENER
                    'Course she's here --
                           (shakes her head)
                    -- climbing over the wall like
                    that, I should call the police --

                                  VINCE
                    Please don't do that -- look --
                    this isn't one of your average
                    everyday situations -- she's our
                    mother is the thing.

                                  JULIUS
                    We're her sons.

                                 VINCE
                    Twin sons.
                                  GARDENER
                    -- You're comedians --
                                  VINCE
                    We're kind of a surprise.

                                  GARDENER
                           (takes off her
                            gardening gloves)
                    I'll bet you are -- follow me.

       She leads them towards the painter who glances up from
       her easel.
                                  VINCE
                           (whispering to
                            Julius)
                    We were right --

                                  JULIUS
                           (softly)
                    -- It is her --

       Now the Gardener leads them past the painter.
                                  JULIUS
                           (confused)
                    We thought that that woman --

                                  VINCE
                    -- Is Mary Ann?

                                  GARDENER
                    No -- This is an artist's colony;
                    there's a lot of painters.
                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                  120A.       *

C149   CONTINUED:    (2A)                                         C149
                                  VINCE
                    This is some chunk of real estate
                    -- Mom owns it all, I guess.
       They are heading toward a door in the garden wall.

                                  GARDENER
                    You can't really own something
                    like that view over there, or that
                    sunset, can you?

                                  VINCE
                           (a believer)
                    No, of course not.

                                  JULIUS
                           (to Linda and
                            Marnie)
                    I can't wait to meet her.
                                  GARDENER
                    This way, please.
       The Gardener ushers them towards a door in the garden
       wall. She opens it, politely stands back, letting them
       go through it. They turn back to look at her.
                                  GARDENER
                    Mary Anne Benedict never
                    understood why people wanted to
                    buy her paintings. But for a
                    brief period they were considered
                    valuable. She used the money to
                    buy Whispering Pines so that young
                    artists would have a place to
                    work.

                                                    (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/22/88                                     121.         *

C149   CONTINUED:    (3)                                             C149
                                  VINCE
                    She's not famous anymore?

                                  GARDENER
                    She never wanted to be famous.
                    She just wanted to be left alone.

                                  JULIUS
                    May I ask you a question?
                           (a beat, concerned)
                    Why do you keep referring to her
                    in the past tense?
                                  GARDENER
                    Because she passed away, some time
                    ago.


       VINCE AND JULIUS
       They look like they've been kicked in the stomach.
                                  VINCE
                    But -- but you said she was here --
                                  GARDENER
                    She is -- I meant her spirit.   Her
                    spirit is always here.
                           (a beat)
                    Excuse me.
       The Gardener gently closes the door in their faces.


       ANOTHER ANGLE - VINCE AND JULIUS
       They haven't moved. Linda and Marnie try to console them.
       Julius still doesn't move. Vince shakes Linda off and
       stomps away.

149    OMITTED                                                         149
&                                                                      &
150                                                                    150


A151   EXT. WHIPSERING PINES -FRONT ENTRYWAY - DAY                   A151
       Vince, out in front, hurls his   flowers to the ground,
       kicks them, then hurries toward   the Caddy. Julius, still
       carrying his bouquet, picks up   Vince's flowers, then
       places the two bouquets into a   niche in the wall. Marnie
       joins him and adds her flowers.
                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                      122.

A151   CONTINUED:                                                       A151
       The sound of the Caddy's HORN HONKING.

                                  VINCE
                           (behind the wheel)
                    Can we get the hell out of here?

                                                       CUT TO:


151    EXT. WHISPERING PINES - INNER GARDEN - DAY                    151

       The Gardener is back at work, staking up her tomatoes, as
       the female Painter approaches her.

                                  PAINTER
                    What was that all about?
                                  GARDENER
                    These real estate developers won't
                    be happy until they turn this
                    place into a golf course.
                                  PAINTER
                    Now they're climbing over the
                    walls?
                                  GARDENER
                    They're shameless. They'll try
                    anything.
                           (bitterly amused)
                    Those men claimed to be my twin
                    sons, if you can believe that. It
                    was really quite disturbing.
                                  PAINTER
                    Oh, Mary Anne, I am sorry...

                                  GARDENER (MARY ANNE)
                    It's alright... You get over things.                       *
                           (with a sigh)
                    I did have a child once, but he died                       *
                    at birth...
                                                       CUT TO:


152    OMITTED                                                          152

153    EXT. ROADSIDE DINER (NEW MEXICO) - LATE AFTERNOON             153

       Julius, Vince, Linda and Marnie are quietly sitting at a
       roadside table, eating some junk food.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                   123.

153   CONTINUED:                                                    153
                                 LINDA
                   You ought to be so proud of your
                   mother, Vince. She donated her
                   house and her land and all her
                   paintings to help young artists.

                                 VINCE
                   Do I look like a young artist to
                   you, Linda?
                                 MARNIE
                          (gently)
                   Vince, all she meant was --
                                 VINCE
                          (picking a fight)
                   I know what she meant. And I know
                   why she's here, too. It's got
                   nothing to do with my mother and
                   everything to do with money.
                                 LINDA
                   You know that's not true.

                                   VINCE
                          (hard)
                   Bull-shit.
      Julius, who's been quiet and distant throughout, suddenly
      intercedes.
                                 JULIUS
                   Take it easy, Vincent.   It's not
                   her fault.
                                 VINCE
                   You hear that, everybody? The                          *
                   creature from the black lagoon                         *
                   just put in his two bits. I                            *
                   should have my head examined for
                   listening to you in the first place
                   -- deal-of-a-lifetime opportunity
                   and I'm driving around looking for
                   a dead mother.

                                  JULIUS
                           (very sad)
                   All I wanted was to make us into a
                   family.

                                 VINCE
                          (stands up)
                   Family, my butt. There's no family
                   here. There's just me and three
                   losers -- I'm leaving.
                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 6/22/88                                     124.      *

153   CONTINUED:    (2)                                            153
      Vince storms off, gets into the Caddy and squeals away,
      throwing Julius's suitcase out the window as he goes.
      Linda and Marnie take off after him.
                                 LINDA
                   Vince -- quit acting crazy --

                                 MARNIE
                          (stunned)
                   He dumped us in the middle of
                   New Mexico.

                              JULIUS
                We'll be fine. And maybe he'll
                be better off alone.

                              LINDA
                You don't know -- he's got
                something worth maybe millions
                in that trunk -- he could get
                himself killed delivering it.
                              JULIUS
                He's been getting out of trouble
                all his life, he's good at it.
                              MARNIE
                He may need you.

                                 JULIUS
                          (voice flat, dead)
                   I don't know much anymore -- on
                   the island I was smart. Here,
                   I've only made things worse.
                              MARNIE
                Don't you realize you could make
                things a lot worse if you don't
                do something.
                       (gently; close
                        beside him now)
                Julius -- you're still very
                smart it's just you're not
                thinking so well right now --
                on account of what you found out
                at Whispering Pines -- but you're
                not alone, you know -- I mean,
                you live long enough, everyone's
                mother dies...

      No reaction from Julius.    It's impossible to tell what
      he's thinking.
                                                     CUT TO:

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                  124A.

154   INT. CADDY - VINCE - DUSK                                 154
      in the Cadillac.   He's driving very fast and is on the
      car phone.

                              VINCE
                Okay, Beetroot -- It's time. I'll
                be there tomorrow -- where do we
                meet and trade?

                                                 CUT TO:

        TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                      125.

155     OMITTED                                                         155
thru                                                                    thru
169                                                                     169


A170    EXT. SANTA FE AIRPORT - MAGIC HOUR                              A170
        Julius is saying goodbye to Linda and Marnie.     He's
        carrying his leather suitcase.

                                  JULIUS
                           (to Linda)
                    Don't worry, Linda. I found him
                    once, I'll find him again.
                                    MARNIE
                    Be careful...                                              *

        Julius gives Marnie a rather chaste kiss.


        JULIUS
        He turns away.
                                                      CUT TO:
        MARNIE
        watching.

                                                      CUT TO:

        JULIUS

        spinning back, grabbing her up, folding her into his
        arms, planting a world-class kiss on her mouth. HOLD
        ON the two of them.
                                                                               *
        He puts on his sunglasses and strides into the airport.
                                                      CUT TO:

AA170   EXT. JULIUS'S PLANE                                          AA170

        Taking off in the New Mexico sunset.

                                                      DISSOLVE TO:

B170    EXT. HOUSTON - ESTABLISHING - CRACK OF DAWN                  B170

                                                      CUT TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                 125A.

C170   EXT. CADILLAC (HOUSTON) - DAY                             C170
       The Cadillac driving into town.


D170   INT. CADILLAC (HOUSTON) - CLOSEUP ON VINCE - DAY          D170
       He's real serious.

                                                 CUT TO:

E170   EXT. HOUSTON AIRPORT - DAWN                               E170

       With planes landing in the early morning behind him, we
       see --


       CLOSEUP OF JULIUS
       standing -- waiting -- trying to pick up the scent...
                                                 DISSOLVE TO:


F170   EXT. DOWNTOWN HOUSTON - DAY                               F170
       Julius strides purposefully along, carrying his suitcase.
       He reaches a sign-posted intersection, looks in all di-
       rections, chooses one, begins to move. As he does, a
       CREEP starts walking along with him, eyeing his suitcase,
       just like the Biker did when Julius first arrived in
       Hollywood.
                               CREEP
                        (holds up cigarette)
                 Got a light, pal?                                      *
       Julius, without breaking stride, turns his head, looks
       at the Creep.
                               JULIUS
                        (scary)
                 Don't fuck with me... pal.
       The Creep falls back.


G170   EXT. WAREHOUSE (HOUSTON) - ESTABLISHING - DAY             G170
       Vince pulls up in the Caddy.

                                                 DISSOLVE TO:

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                 126.

170   INT. WAREHOUSE (HOUSTON) - DAY                             170
      He drives inside a large warehouse, parks, gets out and
      looks warily around. He opens the trunk, unzips the
      sleeping bag, revealing the merchandise.
                              BEETROOT (O.S.)
                Step away from that car, Mr.
                Benedict.

      Vince turns to see Beetroot coming out of the warehouse,
      accompanied by his BODYGUARD carrying an attache case and
      holding a gun. The Bodyguard pats Vince down.

                              VINCE
                I thought we had a deal here.

      The Bodyguard ignores him, checks out the trunk.

                              BODYGUARD
                       (to Beetroot)
                This is it.
                                VINCE
                This is what?

                              BEETROOT
                       (to Vince)
                You come here alone, unarmed?
                You're just a fool who stole a
                car, aren't you? It's a new, low-                      *
                cost fuel-injection system for                         *
                jet engines -- worth a fortune to                      *
                the company that brings it to the                      *
                market first.                                          *
                       (ruthlessly; to                                 *
                        Bodyguard)
                What are you waiting for?

      Vince closes his eyes, waiting for the bullet that he
      knows is coming. When he opens his eyes the Bodyguard
      is holding the attache case open to show him the five
      million dollars.

                              VINCE
                Five million dollars --

                              BODYGUARD
                       (sarcastic)
                You wanna count it?
                                VINCE
                I trust you.

                                                 (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                    127.

170   CONTINUED:                                                    170
      Vince takes the case, gazes at the money, snaps it shut.
      He can't believe he's pulled it off. Beetroot and the
      Bodyguard get into the Cadillac.
      The Caddy speeds away while Vince clutches the attache
      case to his chest and does a little dance of triumph.
      The big score at last! TWO SHOTS RING out. Vince freezes
      and sees --

171   EXT. CADDY AT WAREHOUSE - DAY                                 171

      The Cadillac suddenly CRASHES against the side of another
      warehouse. It's HORN is BLARING.


      WEBSTER
      emerges from the shadows with a powerful pump action                *
      shotgun. He opens the Caddy and pushes the dead                     *
      Bodyguard off the horn.
      Beetroot has a hole in his head, as well.

      Webster turns and gazes back toward Vince who is sprinting
      for safety. Webster calmly goes after him, reloading his
      rifle.


172   INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                          172
      It's filled with forklifts, cranes and various forms of
      heavy machinery. Webster enters and looks cautiously
      around.
                                 WEBSTER
                          (calling out)
                   All I want is the money, Benedict.
                   Just give me what's mine and you
                   can go back to stealing cars and
                   screwing your best friend's wife.

      VINCE

      hiding behind some machinery, scurries deeper into the
      bowels of the warehouse.

      WEBSTER

      moves forward, stalking him.
                                                   (CONTINUED)

      TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                       128.

172   CONTINUED:                                                       172
      VINCE

      crawling along the ground. He spots an open window up
      ahead at the end of the warehouse. Nearer, to his right,
      is another window, closed.

      Vince picks up a piece of pipe, aims, fires it at the
      closed window and as it breaks the glass --
                                                   CUT TO:

      WEBSTER
      FIRING at the sound. He can't see Vince but he pours
      his fire at the window Vince broke -- large chunks of the              *
      BUILDING EXPLODE off wherever Webster fires.                           *

                                 WEBSTER
                   Pack it in, Vince, you're only
                   wasting time -- I don't give a
                   damn about you, just the money --
      He's reloaded during this -- moving forward as we...

                                                   CUT TO:

      VINCE

      crouched near the open window, glancing back at Webster
      who has no idea where he is. Noiselessly, he slides out
      of the open window, briefcase in hand, starts to run
      away --

                                                   CUT TO:


      WEBSTER
      moving in on the shattered window.     A bit irritated.

                                 WEBSTER
                   Vince, if you don't cut this
                   horseshit I may have to hurt
                   you.

                                 JULIUS
                          (over)
                   Leave my brother alone!

      As Webster whirls, looks around --

                                                   CUT TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 5/2/88                                    129/130.

A173   EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                       A173
       Vince, outside, really chugging away now, doing his best
       Carl Lewis imitation.

                                                 CUT TO:

B173   INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                       B173

       Julius looking down at Webster from the floor above.    His
       hands are held high. In one of them is a briefcase.

                               JULIUS
                 I've got the money.
                               WEBSTER
                        (gun trained on
                         Julius)
                 Well don't be shy --
                        (gesturing)
                 -- come on down.
                                                 CUT TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                   131.          *

C173   EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                          C173
       As Vince puts distance between himself and the   warehouse.
       Suddenly he stops, as if he's heard or "felt"   something.
       He shakes the feeling off, resumes running...   and then
       stops again, shuts his eyes tightly, trying to   deny
       what's happening to him.

                               VINCE
                 No way... this is bullshit...
                        (eyes snapping open)
                 Julius, you putz.

       Vince turns and runs back towards the warehouse.
                                                    CUT TO:


D173   INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                          D173
       as Julius gracefully shinnies down a cable, lands near
       Webster. He tosses the suitcase to the ground, backs
       away. Webster approaches. Julius' hands, as before,
       are held high over his head.
                               WEBSTER
                 Just exactly who are you?
                               JULIUS
                 Vincent's twin brother -- we're
                 in this together.
                               WEBSTER
                 Keep your hands that way.
                               JULIUS
                 Don't be nervous -- I hate
                 violence and I never carry guns.


E173   EXT. WAREHOUSE - DAY                                          E173
       Vince peering in through the window he jumped out of,
       takes in the scene.
                               VINCE
                        (muttering)
                 Goddam ESP-psycho-voodoo bullshit...

F173   INT. WAREHOUSE - BACK TO WEBSTER - DAY                        F173

       Opening Julius' suitcase. He pulls out Julius' old
       clothes, tosses them aside, then removes some books,
       books, and more books.
                                                    (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 4/28/88                                     132.          *

F173   CONTINUED:                                                      F173
                                  WEBSTER
                           (disgusted)
                    'Shakespeare's Collected Works'?...
                    'The Mind of Confucius'?...
                    'Advanced Quantum Mechanics'?...
                    What is this shit?

                                  JULIUS
                    I needed something to read on
                    the airplane.

                                   WEBSTER
                            (raising rifle)
                    Yeah, well your flying days are
                    over...

                                                      CUT TO:


       SUITCASE WITH THE MONEY
       flying through the air, landing near Webster's feet.
                                  VINCE (O.S.)
                    Put the goddam gun away -- you're
                    a multimillionaire.
                                                      CUT TO:


       VINCE
       hands held high, appears, stands beside Julius.


       WEBSTER

       He covers them both, kneels, opens Vince's suitcase,
       glances at the money inside.

       VINCE AND JULIUS
       both with their hands up, look at one another and
       begin arguing.

                                  VINCE
                    I am never going to forgive you
                    for this.

                                  JULIUS
                    You were going to get killed.
                    I tried to distract him so
                    you could escape.

                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      133.        *

F173   CONTINUED:    (2)                                             F173
                                  VINCE
                    I had escaped. I was on my way
                    to Brazil -- when I felt you.
                                  JULIUS
                    So, why didn't you go?

                                  VINCE
                    Because, thanks to you, I'm now
                    not only a godamn psychic, I've
                    got this disease called a
                    conscience!
                                  JULIUS
                    Nobody ever said being good was
                    easy.

       Webster uneasily monitors their argument.
                                  VINCE
                    How am I going to survive out
                    there? What are my friends
                    going to think?

                                  JULIUS
                           (smiling)
                    You haven't got any friends.
                                  WEBSTER
                    Just what are you two talking
                    about?
                                  VINCE
                           (to Webster)
                    Butt out, okay? This is family
                    stuff, we're squabbling, it's
                    personal, just take the money and
                    go sit in the lap of luxury
                    somewhere. Try Brazil.
                                  WEBSTER
                           (cocking his shotgun)
                    I doesn't work like that, you
                    might talk to people --
                           (aiming the rifle
                            now)
                    Who wants it first.
                                   JULIUS
                    Shoot him.   This whole thing is
                    his fault.

                                  WEBSTER
                    Whatever you want.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      134.          *

F173   CONTINUED:    (3)                                               F173
                                  VINCE
                    -- Hold it, don't I get a say in
                    this?
       Webster points the shotgun at Vince, starts to squeeze
       the trigger when --


       JULIUS
       pulls a gun from his sleeve and blows Webster's weapon
       out of his hands. Webster screams in pain, clutching
       his hand, dancing around.
                                  VINCE
                           (amazed)
                    You can be an irritating pain --
                    but sometimes you come in handy.
                    -- Where'd you get the gun?
                                  JULIUS
                    From the dead man in the car.
                                  VINCE
                           (to Webster)
                    You should have checked if he had
                    a gun, chump.
                                  WEBSTER
                    He said he didn't believe in
                    them.
                                     JULIUS
                              (proudly)
                    I lied.
                                  VINCE
                           (teasing)
                    Ooooh -- you lied?
                                    JULIUS
                    I had to.
       Vince beams with deep fraternal pride.       Then he turns to
       Webster and snatches the case back.

                                  VINCE
                    Looks like you messed with the
                    wrong people, wise guy.

       Webster shrugs and takes out a cigarette.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      135.        *

F173   CONTINUED:    (4)                                             F173
                                  WEBSTER
                    You got lucky.

       He lights it with his lighter.       Suddenly Julius smells
       something. Bad.

                                  WEBSTER
                           (smiling)
                    But your luck just ran out.
       A stream of gas is pouring out of the drums that Webster
       punctured whilst he was shooting at Vince. It runs in a
       broad stream across the warehouse floor, right beneath
       Julius and Vince's feet. Webster is holding his
       cigarette out, ready to drop it in the fuel and incin-
       erate them.

                                  WEBSTER
                    Drop the gun and give me back the
                    case, or we're gonna have
                    ourselves some barbecued Benedict.
       Julius drops the gun and Vince slowly hands back the
       case. Webster smiles and backs off down the stream of
       gas, still holding out the cigarette. He stops at the
       very edge of the building.
                                  WEBSTER
                    Well, I guess this is goodbye.
       He raises the cigarette, ready to throw it.
                                  JULIUS
                    Wait a minute.
       Webster looks up.

                                  JULIUS
                    You've forgotten something.
       Webster grips the case tighter.

                                  WEBSTER
                    I don't think so.

       Julius nods.

                                  JULIUS
                    The third rule in a crisis
                    situation.

       Julian leans calmly against the warehouse wall, supported
       by one arm.
                                                      (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                      136.        *

F173   CONTINUED:    (5)                                             F173
                                  WEBSTER
                    The third rule?

       Julius's hand has pressed a button in a metal cage.
                                   JULIUS
                            (smiling)
                    Duck.
       Suddenly the load hanging from the boom of a nearby crane
       smashes into Webster's back, and then dumps on him,
       burying him in rubble.
                                   VINCE
                            (even more amazed)
                    Duck?
                           (can't believe it)
                    Duck? You are developing real
                    style, Julius.


       JULIUS
       drapes his arm around Vince as they walk towards the
       unharmed attache case full of money.
                                  JULIUS
                    You came back for me.

                                  VINCE
                    Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                  JULIUS
                    I always knew you would.
                                  VINCE
                    You're my brother, right?
                           (as Julius smiles)
                    We're family, right?
                                  JULIUS
                    Thank you, Vincent.
                                  VINCE
                           (with a gleam)
                    We're a rich family, right?

       Both reach for the attache case at the same time.
                                  JULIUS
                    We're a good family. I'm sorry,
                    Vince, but we have to return the
                    money.
                                                       (CONTINUED)

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                    137.

F173   CONTINUED:    (6)                                            F173
                                  VINCE
                    Return the money?!? Are you
                    nuts?!? This is dirty money,                            *
                    Julius -- it doesn't belong to
                    anybody --

                                  JULIUS
                    -- Including us -- think how much                       *
                    better you'll feel when it's out
                    of our lives --

                                  VINCE
                           (almost jumping
                            up and down)
                    -- I won't -- I won't feel one bit
                    better -- I'll never feel better,
                    not if I live to be... oh no --                         *
       As the sound of POLICE SIRENS get LOUDER we --
                                                     FADE TO BLACK.


173    OMITTED                                                       173
thru                                                                 thru
176                                                                  176
       FADE IN:

A177   CLOSE - NEWSPAPER - FRONT PAGE                                A177
       A large photo of Vince and Julius being handed a check,
       with an accompanying headline that reads:

                           "LONG LOST TWINS RECEIVE REWARD
                            RETURN CASH, STOLEN ENGINE"

       CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal we are --

B177   EXT. WHISPERING PINES - INNER GARDEN - DAWN                  B177

       Mary Anne Benedict, seated at a breakfast table, stares
       at the newspaper in astonishment. It's being held in
       front of her by the Painter from the earlier scene, who
       gently places the newspaper into Mary Anne's hands.

                                PAINTER
                  I think you'd better read this...

                                                     DISSOLVE TO:

       TWINS - Rev. 5/9/88                                 137A.

C177   INT. TRAVEN'S OFFICE (LOS ALAMOS) - MORNING               C177
       Traven is reading a newspaper with his feet up on the
       desk. It has the same headline and photo.

                               MARY ANNE (O.S.)                         *
                 You stole my family, you lying
                 son of a bitch!

       Traven looks up just as Mary Anne's fist comes crashing
       into his face and sends him flying.
                                                  DISSOLVE TO:

)T(    TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                                 138.        *

D177   OMITTED                                                     D177

E177   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY                       E177

       As Linda comes through the door, gets her mail from the
       mailbox. She turns and comes face-to-face with Vince,
       standing there with a contrite look on his face.

                                VINCE
                 Linda, I --
                               LINDA
                 What the hell are you doing here?
                               VINCE
                 You wouldn't answer     my calls or
                 my letters, so I...     Look, I made
                 a terrible mistake     and I apologize
                 and I want to tell     you that I'm
                 a changed man.
       Linda is almost buying it, but then --
                               LINDA
                 How did you get in here?
                               VINCE
                 Well, there was a window in the
                 back that --

                               LINDA
                        (resigned again)
                 Typical.
       She walks past him, approaches her door, puts in the
       key. Vince follows, speaking softly, his sincerity
       absolutely genuine.

                               VINCE
                 All I ask is for another chance.
                 I know I probably don't deserve
                 it, but --

                               LINDA
                 You're right, you don't deserve
                 it.

       She opens her door, walks in, and slams it in his face.

F177   INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - DAY                                F177

       She sighs, turns from the door, and sees --
                                                     (CONTINUED)

)T(    TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                              138A.       *

F177   CONTINUED:                                               F177
       ROSES

       Dozens of them -- everywhere -- all over her apartment --
       beautifully arranged -- in gorgeous vases.

       ON LINDA

       Taking it all in, her resistance melting. She turns,
       flings open the door, looks out -- no sign of Vince...
       until CAMERA TILTS DOWN to reveal Vince on his knees.

                                  VINCE
                    I had to break into your apartment,
                    but --

                                  LINDA
                    Vince, they're beautiful.
                                  VINCE
                    So, do you forgive me?
       Linda hesitates.

                                  LINDA
                    Yes, but...
                                  VINCE
                    But?
       Vince looks at her, understands.
                                  VINCE
                    You mean, that matter we talked
                    about once and never really
                    resolved.

                                  LINDA
                           (feigning
                            ignorance)
                    What matter is that?

                                  VINCE
                    The matter of you and me living
                    together.

                                  LINDA
                           (haltingly)
                    What about it?

       Vince gets to his feet.

                                  VINCE
                    Your place or mine?

       They rush into each other's arms.

)T(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88 PM                                  138B.

177   INT. VINCE'S OFFICES - NIGHT                                177
      CLOSE A NEON SIGN

      It reads: "The Benedict Corporation." CAMERA PULLS BACK
      to reveal we are -- inside Vince's office.                        *
      The offices have been redecorated -- they look serious,
      professional, and are filled with computer terminals and
      other high-tech equipment.
      Julius is sorting through a stack of mail while Vince
      talks to a prospective client on the phone. Both of
      them are wearing suits and ties.
                               VINCE
                        (into phone)
                 What do we do? Most people on this
                 planet cause problems -- the Benedict
                 Corporation solves them. We're a
                 consulting firm -- a think-tank --
                 sort of like the Rand Corporation
                 -- only smarter!
                        (a beat)
                 Tuesday at three. See you then.

      Vince hangs up the phone, loosens his tie.     Julius
      excitedly holds up a stack of letters.
                               JULIUS
                 Look at this, Vince -- proposals
                 from the Red Cross, UNICEF, the
                 World Health Organization -- we
                 should only have clients who do
                 humanitarian work.

                               VINCE
                 Just as long as they pay -- we're
                 not running a charity, you know.

      The sound of FOOTSTEPS down the corridor, then a
      tentative KNOCK at the DOOR.

                               VINCE
                 Come in!

      THE DOOR

      As it opens, revealing Mary Anne Benedict, not looking at
      all like the gardener they met in Whispering Pines.


      VINCE AND JULIUS
      Confused, just look at her for a moment.

                                                    (CONTINUED)

)O(   TWINS - Rev. 7/5/88                                     139/139A.*

177   CONTINUED:                                                    177
      MARY ANNE

      Clearly overwhelmed, struggles to find the appropriate
      words.
                                 MARY ANNE
                   It's so incredible I'm not even
                   sure which one of you is which.
      VINCE AND JULIUS

      Look at one another, then at Mary Anne, realizing at
      the same time that she's their mother!
      THREE OF THEM

      Staring at each other in silence, until --
                                 MARY ANNE
                   You see, I didn't believe you, I
                   mean who would believe a story like
                   your story -- crazy -- They lied to
                   me all these years... And they lied
                   to you... But you found one another
                   ... And you found me... Please --
                   God -- one of you say something.
                                   VINCE
                            (softly)
                   Momma?
      Mary Anne nods.
                                   JULIUS
                            (softly)
                   Mamma?

      She nods again.
                                   VINCE
                            (anguished wail)
                   MOMMA!
      They both run to Mary Anne and hug her for all she's
      worth. They're laughing, crying, holding each other.
      Slowly, we...

                                                     DISSOLVE TO:

)U(    TWINS - Rev. 7/25/88                                   140.          *

       JULIUS
       Watching them. Now there are tears on his face, too.
       He goes to them, gently puts his arms around them, lifts
       them both up in to the air, cradling them.
       They're laughing.   They're crying.   They're holding each
       other.

       No words are necessary.
       Slowly...

                                                     DISSOLVE TO:

178    OMITTED                                                       178
thru                                                                 thru
180                                                                  180
       FADE IN:
181    CLOSE ON WERNER                                              181
       Smiling happily.    PULL BACK to reveal we are --


       EXT. GRIFFITH PARK - DAY
       In front of the merry-go-round. Werner purchases a hand-
       ful of tickets from the vendor, hands one each to Mary
       Anne, Linda and Marnie.
                                 MARY ANNE
                   I just can't get over how alike
                   they are...
       The three women all turn and gaze affectionately back
       at --

       VINCE AND JULIUS

       Walking along the path behind them. We assume it's them
       the women were discussing, until we notice that each of
       them is pushing a double-stroller with identical twin
       babies inside! It's the twin children that are the
       source of the women's wonder, and Vince and Julius' as
       well.
       Vince and Julius both yawn simultaneously.

                                 JULIUS
                   They kepp you up all night again,
                   too?
                                                     (CONTINUED)

)U(   TWINS - Rev. 7/25/88                                       141.         *

181   CONTINUED:                                                     181
                                 VINCE
                   Sceaming in stereo.

      They both stop the strollers, look down lovingly at their
      kids, begin fondling them. Vince and Julius, simultan-
      eously flip identical baby rattles and shake them at
      their twins.

                                 JULIUS
                          (to baby #1)
                   I think you need your diaper
                   changed.
                          (to baby #2)
                   What a surprise -- so do you.

      Vince becomes aware of the condition of his kids'
      diapers.
                                 VINCE
                          (checks his babies)
                   Not you, too -- It's not a
                   competition, you know.
      They both start pushing their strollers again.
                                 JULIUS
                   Just think what we'd be like if
                   we'd been raised together.

                                 VINCE
                   Now that's a scary thought.
      They both yawn simultaneously once again.

                                                     TIME CUT TO:


182   EXT. GRIFFITH PARK MERRY-GO-ROUND - LATER                         182
      Vince and Julius are sitting on adjoining horses. Linda
      and Marnie hand their sons up to them, watched proudly
      by Mary Anne.
      The merry-go-round starts moving, and the last image we
      see is of Vince and Julius on the horses, holding their
      twin sons. As they move PAST US, END CREDITS BEGIN TO
      ROLL.
                                                     FADE OUT.




                                  THE END