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Year One Movie Script

Writer(s) : Harold Ramis, Gene Stupnitsky, Lee Eisenberg

Genres : Adventure, Comedy

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                                    YEAR ONE



                                   Written by

                 Harold Ramis, Gene Stupnitsky & Lee Eisenberg








                                                    October 18th, 2007

          

          IN THE BEGINNING...       1

          
          BLACK an infinite void but at the center a SINGULARITY, a
          particle infinitely small and infinitely dense that contains
          all the potential matter and energy in the universe.

          THE BIG BANG
          A blinding flash of light as the singularity explodes,
          particles expanding in all directions until they fill the
          screen, a shimmering cloud of electromagnetic dust.
          Then the particles start to attract one another to form
          atoms, the atoms elements, the elements form molecules, the
          molecules compounds, the compounds cells, then a cell
          twitches and a PRIMITIVE DRUM starts booming out a Dolby
          heartbeat as we witness the rapid evolution of organisms.
          Then a big fish swims by and is suddenly swallowed whole by a
          much bigger fish, and we rapidly rise from the depths and
          pull back to reveal--

          THE SEA                   2
          Vast, blue, rolling toward the shore, brilliant sun rising in
          a cloudless azure sky.
          A WOMAN emerges from the sea like Aphrodite, strongly backlit
          to obscure her nudity, but we can see she is full-breasted,
          long-limbed, toned and tanned-- perfection. Then a MAN rises
          up out of the water beside her, and staggers clumsily in the
          surf. Even in silhouette we can see he's far from perfect--
          short, overweight. They turn to each other and embrace.
          It's paradise-- for him.

          THE WOMAN
          (looking deep in his eyes)
          I'm so hungry.

          THE MAN
          (wanting her)
          Yeah. Me, too.
          The DRUMS get hotter as he closes his eyes and leans in to
          kiss her, but she turns and walks away.

          WOMAN
          What should we eat?

          THE MAN
          Oh, you actually meant you were
          hungry. I thought-- forget it.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                     2.
          He follows her.
          They walk toward the trees that fringe the beach. When they
          reach the line of vegetation, the woman, MAYA, kneels, pulls
          berries from a bush and pops them in her mouth.
          The man, ZED, grabs a handful of berries and they squat there
          noshing like Adam and Eve.

          THE WOMAN
          Mmmm, these are so good.

          THE MAN
          Mmrrunm, they really are .
          When she turns away he spits them out in disgust.
          Maya smiles and puts her face very close to his, their lips
          almost touching.

          MAYA
          (very sexy)
          You know what I'd really like?

          ZED

          (HOPEFULLY)
          What?

          MAYA
          Some fruit.

          ZED
          (frustrated, but hanging

          IN                                                              )
          Yeah, fruit's good.
          (he stands up)
          You want an apple or a pear?

          MAYA

          (THINKS)
          No.
          He scans the nearby trees.

          ZED
          Orange? Tangerine?
          (she shakes her head)
          Umm, mango? Kiwi? Peach?
          She shakes her head coyly.
          He starts darting from tree to tree, hopefully pointing out
          various options. She follows him.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                      3.
          ZED                                                      (cont'd)
          Plum? Nectarine? Passion fruit?

          MAYA

          (COQUETTISHLY)
          Nuh-uh.

          ZED
          (fake smile)
          Okay, don't tell me-- papaya?
          Pomegranate? Lemon? Lime?
          Kumquat? Uh, cock? Cockfruit?

          MAYA

          NOOO--
          The game is no longer cute but he still plays along.

          ZED
          Watermelon? Honeydew? Grapes?

          MAYA

          NOOO--

          ZED
          (this is a lot of work to
          get laid)
          Starfruit, casaba-- tangelo?

          MAYA
          Nope.

          ZED
          (he doesn't even like her

          ANYMORE)
          Okay, I give up. Which fruit do
          you want?

          MAYA

          (POINTS)
          That one.
          Zed looks. It's a beautiful tree with lush, apple-like   red
          fruit hanging from it.

          ZED

          (SCOFFS)
          Yeah, right. Okay.

          MAYA
          Why not?

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                           4.

          ZED
          Because that's the fruit we don't
          eat! It's forbidden.

          MAYA
          Why not?

          ZED
          Because we don't! It's a rule!
          That's the Tree of the Knowledge of
          Good and Evil. You don't eat from
          that one. Nobody ever has.

          MAYA
          Why not?

          ZED
          Stop saying why not! I told you--
          it's a rule.

          MAYA
          So do you always follow the rules?

          ZED
          No-- yeah-- I don't know. We don't
          have that many rules. In fact, we
          only have one rule-- DON'T EAT THAT

          FRUIT.

          MAYA
          Okay, fine. We won't. Forget I
          mentioned it. I understand if
          you're afraid--

          ZED
          I'm not "afraid"--

          MAYA
          No, really, it's all right. I just
          thought you might be curious why we
          can eat everything else that walks,
          crawls, swims, flies, or grows in
          the ground, but not that particular
          fruit. And I thought you might be
          the kind of man who's willing to
          take a chance and start thinking
          for himself, but I guess I was
          wrong.
          She glares defiantly at Zed, then starts to walk away. It's
          not Paradise anymore. Then like every man that ever lived
          and will ever live, he caves.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             5.

          ZED
          Okay! Fine! You want to try the
          Good and Evil fruit, you got it.
          He rips two ripe fruits from a low-hanging bough and hands
          her one. They both stare at the fruit.

          MAYA
          You first.

          ZED
          No way! It was your idea. You go
          first.

          MAYA
          We both bite at the same time.
          Zed considers for a long moment then decides.

          ZED
          Okay. Ready? One-- two-- three!
          Zed chomps down hard and takes a big bite, but Maya fakes him
          out and stops before her teeth break the skin.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (with his mouth full)
          Got me. That's a good move. I'm
          going to steal it.
          He starts chewing and she watches as he gets his first taste
          of Good and Evil. Then his face contorts in disgust and he
          spits it out.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (gagging and spitting)
          Yuchh! That's horrible. Yecch,
          ptui! Ughh.
          He frantically wipes the inside of his mouth with his
          fingers, trying to get the terrible taste out.

          MAYA
          So you're saying it's not good?

          ZED
          Yes! I'm saying it's not good!
          He grabs his belly as his stomach starts to cramp. Then a
          loud bowel sound and his eyebrows shoot up.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Oh, no--

          

          

          

          

                                                                          6.
          Official White
          He runs for the bushes. Maya's attention gets diverted.

          MAYA
          (noticing something)
          Ooh, banana!

          CUT TO:

          3

          3                                                               EXT. VILLAGE - DAY

          A TRIBE OF PRIMITIVE CAUCASIANS. Dozens of huts surround a
          mmunal fire pit where WOMEN in loincloths roll flatbread        CO
          and cook it on heated rocks. The drums start pounding out a
          celebratory rhythm as the HUNTERS enter carrying a DEAD BOAR
          on a pole, their faces marked with boar's blood, ritual signs
          in honor of the kill.
          The lead hunter MARLAK, is a hulking thug with a bony,
          Neanderthal forehead. He cuts off the boar's head and drops
          it at Maya's feet.

          MARLAK
          (blunt grunt)
          For you.

          MAYA
          (forces a grateful smile)
          Thank you, Marlak.

          4

          4                                                               ZED'S HUT
          Zed is lying on a pad of animal hides in front of his hut,
          his guts still aching. His best friend OH sits next to him
          sewing skins together, watching the hunters with envy,
          jealous of the attention they're getting from the women.
          If Zed is over-confident and reckless, Oh is his polar
          opposite, nervous and risk-averse, the kind of guy who would
          apologize if you poked him in the ass with your spear. He
          may, in fact, be near-sighted and if glasses had been
          invented he'd be wearing them.

          OH

          (GRUMBLING)
          Look at them. Hunters think
          they're so cool. They don't think
          gathering is dangerous? There are
          thorns-- bees-- those big stingy
          ants. I could hunt-- I just don't
          want to. And what's with the blood
          on their faces? They think that's
          sanitary?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             7.

          ZED
          (miserable with pain)
          Do me a favor. Just kill me.

          OH
          Why did you eat that fruit? It's
          forbidden. Everybody knows that.

          ZED
          I couldn't help myself! Maya was
          just staring at me with those pouty
          eyes-- and those perky breasts--
          opposable thumbs. And how about
          the name? "The Tree of the
          Knowledge of Good and Evil"? You
          don't think that sounds tempting?
          They should've just called it "The
          Tree with the Fruit that Tastes
          Like Shit." Then for sure nobody
          would eat it.
          Zed notices a VILLAGER squatting in the bushes right behind
          his dwelling.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (shouts testily)
          Hey! Squanto! Give me a break,
          would ya'! You got the whole
          forest!
          (to Oh)
          Why does everyone have to crap
          right behind my hut?

          OH
          I think, and I could be wrong, that
          all the poop makes the ground more
          fertile, which in turn, gives the
          leaves in the area a softer feel.
          It's a vicious circle.
          Oh notices a very pretty young woman, EEMA, standing near the
          communal fire with TWO HUNTERS. His heart leaps.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          (calls out eagerly)
          Hi, Eema!
          Eema turns, sees it's him and gives him a perfunctory wave,
          then turns back to the hunters and says something about Oh
          that makes them laugh.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            8.
          OH                                                             (cont'd)
          She doesn't even know I exist.

          (LOVE-STRUCK)
          I want to lay with her so badly.

          ZED
          I don't see it. I mean she's cute,
          but I don't think I'd lay with her.

          OH
          Of course not! She's your sister!
          It'd be like sleeping with your
          mother.

          ZED
          which was a big mistake. I see
          that now. You think it won't be
          awkward the next morning but--
          trust me, you just want to rip your
          eyeballs out.
          (shakes off the memory)
          Listen, if you want to impress
          Eema, tonight at the feast, do the
          fertility dance with her, then drag
          her back to your hut.

          OH
          My hut's a mess. And what if she
          struggles?

          ZED
          So you give her a little tap on the
          head. Women respond to that--

          OH

          (SIGHS)
          No. She only likes hunters-- not
          gatherers.
          They look over at Eema, who is now slowly stroking the shaft
          of a hunter's spear.

          ZED
          I wouldn't read too much into that.
          She kisses, then tongues the spear tip.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          Okay, that might mean something.
          The hunter Marlak walks by and stops. He's clearly half a
          rung lower on the human evolutionary scale.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             9.

          MARLAK
          You didn't hunt today.

          ZED
          Yes, Marlak. Very observant. I
          was indisposed. Got that
          intestinal thing that's been going
          around.
          Marlak grunts and examines the primitive line drawings on the
          walls of Zed's hut.

          MARLAK
          (points at a drawing)
          What's that supposed to be?

          ZED
          It's a bear.

          MARLAK
          That's not a bear. That's just
          some lines on a skin.

          ZED

          (SIGHS)
          It's not a real bear. It's a
          "representation" of a bear. You
          know, a "picture."

          MARLAK
          That's stupid.

          ZED
          Yeah. Like you'd know.

          MARLAK
          And what's that?
          He picks up a skin with another of Zed's drawings on it, this
          one of a big-breasted naked girl. Zed quickly grabs it and
          holds it upside down.

          ZED
          That-- would be an antelope-- or a
          deer-- a deerpalope.

          MARLAK
          (trying to look at it
          upside down)
          It looks like Maya.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                  10.

          ZED
          (hides it away)
          How could it be Maya? It's just
          some lines on a skin.

          MARLAK
          Stay away from my woman.

          ZED
          Your woman? I'm not sure dragging
          her into the bushes kicking and
          screaming means you have an actual
          "thing" going.
          Marlak cuffs him hard on the side of the head.

          MARLAK
          (walking off)
          Stay away.

          ZED
          (calls after him)
          Hey! Nice supra-orbital ridge,
          fartface!

          DISSOLVE TO:

          5

          5                                                              A ROARING FIRE
          The DRUMS kick up another notch as the huge boar roasts on a
          spit over a roaring fire.

          EXT. VILLAGE - NIGHT

          The tribe is gathered around the big fire pit. The tribe's
          SHAMAN, their medicine man and spirit leader, dances around
          the fire in a boar's head mask, accessorized with way too
          many bones, beads and feathers.
          Zed and Oh are sitting near the fire, smoking something in a
          long, decorated pipe.

          ZED
          Hey, Oh? Did it ever occur to you
          that there may be more to life than
          this?

          OH
          (taking the pipe from Zed)
          Okay, I think somebody's had
          enough.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                               11.

          ZED
          No,                                                            I'm serious.We're born into
          thisworld, we hunt, we gather, we
          eat,we sleep, we make babies--

          OH
          You make babies--

          ZED
          --but why? What's the point?

          OH
          You always get like this when you
          smoke.
          Oh takes a big toke on the pipe, chokes, and starts coughing
          uncontrollably.

          ZED
          No. Last night I couldn't sleep,
          so I just laid there looking up at
          the sky, counting the stars. There
          were over seventy. Kinda makes you
          think, doesn't it?

          OH
          (looks up at the sky)
          No.

          ZED
          Really? I've been thinking about
          it ever since I ate that fruit.
          Don't you ever wonder what's on the
          other side of the mountains?

          OH
          There's nothing on the other side
          of the mountains. Everybody knows
          that. The world just ends. You'd
          fall right off the edge.
          (makes a sharp gesture)

          ZED
          But what if it doesn't? What if it
          just goes on and on forever? Or
          what if it's round?
          (he picks up a round

          ROCK))
          And if you keep walking you
          eventually come right back to where
          you started?
          He traces the circumference with his finger.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            12.

          OH

          (SCOFFS)
          Oh, yeah, that's plausible.
          Zed flings the rock away.

          A VILLAGER (O.C.)
          Oww!

          ZED
          (waves apologetically)
          Sorry!

          OH
          (tries to cheer him up
          Will you stop with that crazy talk?
          We're at a feast. You love feasts.
          There's women, there's boar meat,
          there's an assortment of berries--
          there's women--
          Oh looks over at Eema. Zed picks up on it.

          ZED
          Do it, man! Go dance for her.

          OH
          You think? They're playing the
          Jackal Dance. I don't do that one
          so well.

          ZED
          Are you kidding? Go! Jackal
          Dance!
          Oh summons his courage, gets up and crosses to where the
          girls are sitting.
          Zed makes subtle eye contact with Maya, waggles his eyebrows
          and licks his lips. She laughs and looks away.
          Oh starts dancing timidly right in front of Eema, subtly
          jerking his pelvis, trying to be cool.
          Eema just stares at him for a moment, then goes back to
          talking to her friends. Oh looks over at Zed for help.
          Zed mimes clonking her on the head.
          Oh picks up a wooden club and hits Eema right on the noggin.
          However, instead of submitting, she gets really pissed,
          stands up and decks him with one punch.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                             13.
          Eema glowers at Zed who feigns innocence.

          CUT TO:

          6

          6                                                           THE FIRE PIT - MINUTES LATER
          A hunter is slicing off hunks of boar meat for the other
          tribesmen. Zed pushes through the small crowd waiting for
          food and goes to the front.

          ZED
          Excuse me, hunter coming through.

          VILLAGERS
          Hey! Wait your turn! There's a
          line here, buddy!

          ZED
          For your information I was in line
          and I just stepped out to chew some
          food for an elderly lady.
          Suddenly a SPEAR is thrust inches from his face, stopping
          him. It's Marlak, who towers over Zed. His cohort,
          ENMEBARAGESI, short and stout, stands beside him.

          MARLAK
          Enmebaragesi said he saw you in the
          garden with Maya.

          ZED
          Oh, really? And what if I called
          Enmebaragesi a liar?

          ENMEBARAGESI
          I'd kill you.

          ZED
          Calm down. I said "what                                     if"-- it
          was a hypothetical.
          Marlak gets right in Zed's face.

          MARLAK
          Enmebaragesi doesn't lie.
          Villagers gather around them, Maya and Eema among them.
          Marlak puts his spear point to Zed's throat.
          MARLAK (cont'd)
          The truth!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                       14.

          MAYA
          Zed, just admit it. You're just
          making it harder on yourself.

          ZED
          (instantly annoyed)
          No, you just made it harder on
          myself!
          (to Marlak)
          Okay, fine, you got me.
          (gingerly moves the spear

          POINT)
          Maya and I lay together on
          occasion. We're consenting adults
          and we have an adventurous sexual
          relationship.
          Maya looks shocked, and tries to signal Zed to shut up.

          MARLAK

          (STUNNED)
          You laid with my woman?

          ZED
          Isn't that what we're talking
          about?
          Maya rolls her eyes.

          ENMEBARAGESI
          No, I saw you eat the Forbidden
          Fruit.

          ZED
          Oh, that! Yeah! I did eat the
          fruit. I was just kidding about
          humping Maya.
          Marlak knocks Zed to the ground. The DRUMMING stops.
          Oh comes running over and gets between Marlak and Zed.

          OH

          (FORCEFUL)
          Hey! What's going on?
          Marlak growls at him.
          OH                                                        (cont'd)
          (quickly looks up at the

          SKY)
          Oooh, shooting star.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                15.
          Zed gets to his feet.

          ZED
          Look, Marlak, this is crazy.
          You're two of me. I'm not gonna
          fight you over a girl, okay?
          Zed starts to walk away but quickly pivots and throws a WILD
          HAYMAKER at Marlak who easily ducks it, and it hits an
          unsuspecting Enmebaragesi squarely in the nose.
          Zed                                                            (cont'd)
          (to Enmebaragesi)
          And let that be a lesson to your
          big friend-
          Marlak grabs Zed, lands two solid punches to Zed's mid-
          section, and then clocks him with a vicious right that sends
          him sprawling to the ground.

          MARLAK
          (standing over Zed)
          Your father was a great hunter, but
          you're like-- a girl.
          The hunters laugh.

          ENMEBARAGESI
          Good one, Marlak.

          ANOTHER HUNTER
          Zing.

          MARLAK
          Now I kill you.
          He's about to spear Zed when suddenly the Shaman screams and
          jumps between them. The villagers step back as the Shaman
          howls an incantation and shakes his magic rattle at Zed.

          SHAMAN
          (leaning close to Zed)
          We need to talk.

          CUT TO:

          7                                                              THE CAMPFIRE - MINUTES LATER   7
          Zed and the Shaman sit side by side on a log, talking
          privately.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                         16.
          The Shaman is covered in skins, feathers, bones, beads,
          animal teeth, antlers and horns, his hair a mass of long,
          muddy dreadlocks, his face painted, his cheeks, nose, and
          ears pierced by shards of bone. But if not for his
          outlandish getup, zed could be talking to his pastor.

          SHAMAN
          You really ate the fruit?

          ZED
          One bite! What's the big deal?

          SHAMAN
          (halfheartedly shakes a
          chicken-foot rattle at

          HIM)
          You don't eat the fruit! That's
          been the number one rule from the
          beginning of time. Since the Great
          Turtle climbed from the sea with
          the Earth on his back, drank the
          ocean, pooped out the mountains and
          the first man fell from the stars.

          ZED
          I've always had trouble with the
          Great Turtle Theory-- too many
          unexplained gaps.

          SHAMAN
          Whatever. You're screwed now.

          ZED
          Really? How screwed? Like I knew
          it was a rule but I'm a little
          fuzzy on the exact details.

          SHAMAN
          You're cursed, man, and if you stay
          here then we'll all be cursed. You
          have to leave.

          ZED
          Where am I supposed to go?

          SHAMAN
          Up to you. From now on you're
          completely on your own.

          ZED

          (DEFIANT)
          Oh, really?

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                                          Official White              17.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Am I detecting a little jealousy
          here because I now have the
          knowledge of good and evil and you
          don't? Well, you know what? I say
          what I did was a good thing-- a
          very very good thing-- and I'm not
          leaving. What do you think of
          that?
          A HUMAN SKULL comes flying in from off-camera and lands at
          his feet.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Okay, is that supposed to be funny?
          He stands up and we see that the whole tribe is standing
          around them in a wide circle.
          Marlak bangs his spear on the edge of his animal-hide shield,
          starting a rhythmical beat. The other hunters join in,
          keeping the beat, staring at Zed with lethal intent

          SHAMAN
          (to Zed, re the hunters)
          You should probably get going now.
          You better take this knife.
          He hands him a flint knife with a leather-wrapped handle.
          SHAMAN                                                          (cont'd)
          And some of the guys got together
          and they want you to have this bow.
          He hands him a strong hunter's bow.

          ZED
          I don't want to seem ungrateful or
          anything, but you wouldn't happen
          to have any arrows, would you?
          An arrow zips in and sticks in the post next to his head.

          SHAMAN
          (to Zed)
          You'd better get moving.
          Zed looks around at his fellow villagers, trying to summon
          what dignity he has left.

          ZED

          (DEFIANT)
          Okay, but before I go I just want
          to say something. I know I'm not
          the greatest hunter--

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             18.

          VILLAGER (O.S.)
          --Or gatherer--

          ZED
          Yes, or gatherer-- but there's got
          to be more to life than this--
          (to Hunters)
          Kinda hard to concentrate with that
          rhythmic drumming, fellas.
          The Hunters keep the insistent beat, their gaze fixed on Zed.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (rolls his eyes; "these
          guys are hopeless")
          Anyways, I'm going away, not
          because you're forcing me to--
          which you are-- but because I
          choose to. Yes, I ate from the
          Tree of the Knowledge of Good and
          Evil-- major misunderstanding on my
          part-- and believe me I'm not
          recommending it unless you're
          interested in a very powerful
          laxative-- but it got me thinking
          about some pretty heavy stuff --
          life questions, you know. So I'm
          out of here, and anyone who wants
          to join me is welcome.
          He looks around the circle and sees Maya. She sees Marlak
          staring at her and averts her eyes.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)

          ANYONE--
          Zed looks at oh, who suddenly becomes very interested in an
          imaginary piece of loincloth lint.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (looks directly at Oh)
          I don't know where we're going or
          when we're going to get there, but
          I will lead the way--
          (he picks up a burning

          TORCH)
          lighting up the darkness-- pointing
          us in the right direction, and
          keeping us entertained with
          humorous anecdotes from my
          childhood. Now who's with me?
          He enthusiastically thrusts the torch in the air.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                               19.
          Oh looks at Eema, then at Zed, and lowers his eyes.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          Okay, then I guess I'll just have
          to go it alone, which is fine with

          ME--
          (to Oh)
          --better, in fact, because having a
          partner would just slow me down.
          Oh can't look at him.
          Zed shakes his head, failing to notice that the torch he's
          holding has ignited the roof of the hut next to him.
          The Shaman shouts and points at the now blazing roof.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          Oops!
          They all stare as the fire quickly leaps from roof to roof.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          I know there's a lesson in here
          somewhere. Any thoughts?
          The villagers scream and run off to try and save their huts.
          It's chaos.

          MARLAK
          (raises his spear, to Zed)
          Now you die.
          Marlak throws his spear and misses as Zed takes off running
          into the forest with the hunters right behind him and the
          whole village ablaze.

          CUT TO:

          8                                                              EXT. FOREST   - NIGHT   8

          Zed runs for his life through the dense forest.
          The hunters chase him, shooting arrows at him on a dead run.
          Zed dodges as the arrows zip around him. He veers left, then
          right, then trips and tumbles down a muddy embankment.
          The hunters stop at the top of the embankment. Marlak
          listens for sounds of movement in the forest below, then
          silently signals for the hunters to fan out.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            20.
          Marlak nimbly makes his way down the embankment, reaches the
          bottom and sees something in the moonlight.
          It's Zed lying on the ground, badly camouflaged with sticks
          and leaves, thinking he can't be seen, but the shape of his
          body is clearly discernible. Marlak raises his spear.

          MARLAK
          I see you.

          ZED
          (long beat)
          No, you don't.

          MARLAK
          Yes, I do.

          ZED
          How can you see me if I'm not here?

          MARLAK
          You're trying to trick me.

          ZED
          Okay, then tell me this-- who's
          standing right behind you?

          MARLAK
          (nobody's fool)
          You think I'm going to turn around
          and look, but I'm not.
          (pulls his knife)
          I'm going to gut you like a pig.
          He is about to plunge his knife into Zed when suddenly he is
          struck from behind by a heavy tree branch. He falls heavily,
          knocked senseless by Oh who is standing over him with the
          makeshift club.
          Zed sits up and smiles gratefully at Oh.

          OH
          I guess I'm with you.

          ZED
          Was it my speech?

          OH
          No, the fire. I lost everything.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                       21.

          ZED
          But the speech was pretty good,
          right? I mean, even I was moved
          and I was the one speaking.

          OH
          Can we talk about this later?
          Oh pulls Zed to his feet, and they sneak off into the deep
          woods.

          DISSOLVE TO:

          9                                                            EXT. A FOREST PATH - LATER THAT NIGHT   9

          CRICKETS. Zed and Oh walk through the moonlit forest.

          ZED
          This is nice, out here, the two of
          us.

          OH

          (SULLEN)
          Yeah, it's great.

          ZED
          Come on, those hunters are idiots.
          In an hour they'll forget the whole
          thing.

          OH
          I don't think they'll forget the
          fire.

          ZED
          You know what we should do? You
          and me should kill the biggest boar
          ever-- just huge!-- and take it
          back to the village. Just to show
          them. And we won't let anyone else
          eat it. They'll have to watch us
          eat it.

          OH
          If it's that huge how would we
          carry it back?

          ZED

          (CONSIDERING)
          Fine, we'll just start with
          something small. A squirrel or
          something.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            22.

          OH
          Yeah, we'll make everyone watch us
          eat a squirrel. Will you get real?
          There's no going back! There's,
          nothing to go back to! It's just
          ashes.

          ZED

          (SCOFFS)
          Yeah, like it's so hard to build a
          new hut. It's just a pile of
          sticks and dung--

          OH

          (SCOWLS)
          You're a pile of sticks and dung.
          Suddenly, Zed stops and stands perfectly still.

          ZED
          (through clenched teeth)
          Oh!

          OH
          What are you doing?
          Zed makes a minimal gesture with his head. Oh looks up.
          A COUGAR crouches on a tree limb above them, poised to leap.
          Oh freezes. They talk like ventriloquists.

          ZED
          Don't move a muscle.

          OH
          Will that work?

          ZED
          (without moving his lips)
          I don't know. There's two
          different opinions on this one.
          Some say run, some say don't.

          OH
          What are you going to do?

          ZED
          I'm going to-- RUN!
          He sprints off and the cougar pounces right on oh.

          CUT TO:

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                23.

          10                                                              EXT. A FIRE   - DAYBREAK   10

          Zed is holding a stick over the fire, cooking what looks like
          a squirrel or a muskrat.
          Oh comes out of the forest carrying a huge armload of sticks
          and branches. One of Oh's sticks falls, and as he carefully
          reaches down to grab it, the rest spill out on the ground.
          Oh sighs. His body is covered with long claw marks.

          ZED
          You really should put some maggots
          on those scratches. They look
          pretty deep.

          OH

          (BITTER)
          I just want to know why you told me
          not to move, and you ran.

          ZED
          Because I honestly thought he'd go
          for me. I thought I was doing you
          a favor. Apparently not
          appreciated.

          OH
          Yeah, big favor.

          ZED
          You didn't have to come with me,
          you know. I didn't ask you to
          come.

          OH
          Yes, you did! You looked right at
          me-- twice.

          ZED
          Yes, that's a technique of public
          speaking, but I didn't ask you
          specifically. You chose to come.
          You gotta take some responsibility
          for that. And there's no point
          coming if you're just gonna keep
          whining about every little-- cougar
          that attacks you.
          (pulls the cooked rodent
          from the fire)
          You want some or not?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                          24.

          OH

          (HUFFY)
          No, eat your weasel. You deserve
          it.
          He turns his back to Zed, and starts sorting through the pile
          of sticks.

          ZED
          You making your own fire?

          OH
          No, arrows. We're going to need
          them.

          ZED
          (perks up)
          You're still coming?

          OH

          (RESIGNED)
          Yes.
          Zed claps him on the back and hugs him exuberantly. Oh
          winces in pain.

          CUT TO:

          11                                                              EXT. HIGHLANDS          - DAY   11

          Zed and Oh are hiking uphill, the lush, dense verdure of the
          forest now thinning to evergreens and mountain heather.

          CUT TO:

          12                                                              THE MOUNTAINS - LATER   12
          Zed and Oh climbing higher now. Finally, they reach the top
          and look out at the vista.
          From their vantage point they can see a high plateau and
          wooded land stretching far beyond it.

          ZED

          (GLOATING)
          I knew it! Still think you're just
          gonna fall off the edge of the
          world?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                25.

          OH
          (in amazement)
          Incredible.
          He takes a step forward, the rock shelf gives way beneath his
          feet and he falls a great distance, screaming all the way
          down, bouncing painfully off the big boulders, then a long,
          tumbling slide over sharp rocks and gravel to the bottom.

          ZED

          (WINCES)
          Oooh.                                                           -
          (then calls out)
          I'll go around! Wait for me!

          CUT TO:

          13                                                              EXT. FOREST   - LATER   13

          Zed is following a trail downhill through the forest on the
          other side of the mountains. Oh is limping along behind him,
          bitten, clawed, cut, scraped and bruised.

          ZED
          Say what you want, but that was no
          accident. You don't see a pattern
          here?

          OH
          I see a pattern. Every time
          something terrible can happen to
          me, it does.

          ZED
          Yeah, but why? Why'd the cougar go
          for you and not me? Why did you
          fall and I didn't? Hard to believe
          it's all just random. Think about

          IT--
          J;                                                              avdganly MI   ,         I )   ia htintI! f 1   inWROM m 11W, 10
          looks around the forest clearing for subtle signs.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (sniffing the air)
          People-- more than one-- walking--
          (he guesses) that way.

          OH
          (looking around)
          You think? There's about a
          thousand footprints here.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                                     26.
          He indicates the heavily trampled forest floor.

          ZED
          (ignores him)
          Yes! There!
          He drops to one knee and examines something in the bushes.
          Zed                                                             (cont'd)
          They stopped here to poop. Look.

          OH
          No, thank you.

          ZED
          Four men, maybe five. And a child--
          or a small women maybe.

          OH
          (a little disgusted)
          Okay.

          ZED
          (poking at the evidence)
          Looks like they had some nuts--
          dried fruit-- some kind of green
          leafy vegetable--

          OH
          Okay! Enough! Can we just go?
          Maybe we can find where they peed.
          14                                                              Then Zed sees light through the trees and creeps   14
          stealthily to the tree line. Oh creeps up beside him and
          they peer through the bushes.
          THREE COWS are grazing in a green pasture. Beyond it, well-
          tended fields of growing grain.
          Zed snaps into stalking mode, ducks down and silently signals
          Oh to be quiet and stay put.

          ZED

          (WHISPERS)
          This one's mine.
          He takes his bow, pulls an arrow from his quiver, and slowly
          draws the bow, taking deadly aim at one of the cows. He
          shoots.
          The blunt, pointless arrow hits the cow in the side and
          bounces off. The cow looks up.

          

          

          

          
                                                                        Official White              27.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          (to Oh)
          We're gonna need some arrowheads.
          Zed draws his flint knife, then suddenly bursts out of the
          forest, dashes toward the cow and leaps on its back.
          Oh comes running up as the cow bucks and sends Zed flying.
          Lying on the ground, Zed looks up and sees TWO SURPRISED
          YOUNG FARMERS dressed in simple white woolen tunics staring
          at him.

          FIRST YOUNG FARMER
          Did you just shoot my cow?

          ZED
          (getting painfully to his

          FEET)
          Yeah, well-- we're hunters.

          OH
          (covering for himself)
          He's a hunter. I'm more of a
          "maker." I made this loincloth, I
          do arrows-- I made a shelf unit for
          my hut--

          ZED
          What do you guys do?

          SECOND YOUNG FARMER
          What does it look like? We're
          farmers.

          FIRST YOUNG FARMER
          He's a farmer; I'm a herdsman.

          SECOND YOUNG FARMER
          You're a suck, is what you are.

          FIRST YOUNG FARMER
          (ignores him)
          My brother, Cain. I am called
          Abel.

          CAIN
          You are called suck.

          ABEL
          My brother is angry because God
          looked on my sacrifice with favor.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                  28.

          CAIN
          (mimics him)
          "God looked on my sacrifice with

          FAVOR--"
          (to Oh)
          Okay, is he a total suck or what?

          OH
          Well, it's hard to say-- we just

          MET--

          ABEL
          Why are you dragging them into
          this? What do they know? They're
          morons.

          ZED

          (OFFENDED)
          Hey! Easy!

          CAIN
          (to Abel)
          You think you're so superior to
          everyone else.

          ABEL
          Superior-er than you.

          CAIN
          Really? Let's see how good you are
          at getting your ass kicked.
          (shoves him)

          ABEL
          Yeah? Bring it!
          (shoves him back)

          ZED
          Okay, boys, that's enough. We just
          want to--

          CAIN
          (won't let it go)
          No! This smug asshole insulted you
          and I want him to take it back.

          ZED
          We're not really that insulted--

          CAIN
          (pushes Abel hard)
          Take it back!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                           29.

          ABEL
          (pushes back)
          Make me!
          Zed steps between them, trying to make peace.

          ZED
          Boys, boys! You're brothers!
          Let's just relax and--
          Cain uses the distraction to sneak-punch Abel and the fight
          is on. They start throwing wild punches, then clinch and
          wrestle each other to the ground.

          OH
          Shouldn't we do something?

          ZED
          Just let them settle it.
          Cain picks up a good-size rock and strikes Abel on the head
          with all his might. Abel falls heavily to the ground and
          lies there, not moving. Cain stands over him, breathing
          hard.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)

          (SHOCKED)
          I guess that settles it.

          CAIN
          (turns on him sharply,
          still holding the bloody

          ROCK)
          What?!

          ZED
          Nothing!
          Cain stares at Abel, still inert on the ground.

          CAIN
          He's all right. Probably just

          RESTING--

          OH
          (humoring him)
          Probably just tuckered out from the
          fight.

          CAIN
          (looking around nervously)
          Yeah.

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                     Official White              30.
          CAIN                                       (cont'd)
          Maybe I should throw some dirt on
          him-- keep him warm 'til he wakes
          up.
          He starts kicking dirt over Abel's body.
          CAIN                                       (cont'd)
          (getting worried)
          This is bad. This is really bad.
          We're in serious trouble.

          ZED
          Hey! What do you mean "we"? I
          don't want to play the blame game,
          but you're the one who hit him.

          CAIN
          (turns on them)
          You could've stopped me! There's
          two of you and only one of me.

          ZED
          We didn't know you were going to
          kill him--

          CAIN
          You calling me a murderer?
          (he clutches the rock)

          ZED
          Did I say that?

          CAIN
          It was an accident!
          (to Oh)
          Right?

          OH
          Right! You were holding the rock
          and he-- accidentally ran into it--
          really hard-- with his head.

          CAIN
          (calming down)
          Okay-- yeah-- good. But it might
          be better if we don't mention the
          "accident" to anyone. People might
          get the wrong idea. Understand?

          OH
          Oh, yeah, people could so easily
          misinterpret that.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                      31.

          ZED

          (SHRUGS)
          Why even bring it up?

          CAIN

          (NODS)
          I like you guys. You're all right.
          Why don't you come with me? Have
          supper with the family.

          ZED
          Unfortunately we already have
          dinner plans.

          CAIN
          I think you should come with me.

          OH
          (his idea)
          why don't we go with you?

          CUT TO:

          15                                                            EXT. THE FIELD        - A LITTLE LATER   15

          Cain finishes loading bushels of grain onto an oxcart while
          Zed and Oh closely inspect the big, heavy, solid wooden
          wheels on the cart.

          ZED
          What are the big round things for?

          CAIN
          They're wheels, numbskull. They
          make the cart roll.

          ZED
          (blown away)
          Wow! That is like the greatest
          invention since the vagina.
          Cain whips the oxen and they lumber forward.
          Oh screams as the HEAVY WHEELS ROLL OVER HIS FEET.

          CUT TO:

          16                                                            CLOSE ON ZED AND OH   16
          They look really thrilled, wind blowing through their hair,
          their hands up like roller-coaster riders.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                              32.

          ZED AND OH

          (WHOOPING)
          Woooo! Woooo! Yeah!

          PULL BACK TO

          REVEAL:

          THE CART
          with them riding on it, plodding slowly into a FARMING
          HAMLET,°a cluster of small, roughly plastered mud houses with
          thatched roofs.
          ADAM, dour, hard-working and long-suffering, but still strong
          and upright, trudges home with a metal scythe over his
          shoulder. He could be Max Von Sydow.

          ADAM
          (hailing Cain)
          Cain, my son!

          CAIN
          Hail, Father.
          Cain stops the cart and dismounts with Zed and Oh.
          CAIN                                                             (cont'd)
          Can these guys stay for supper?
          (off Adam's questioning

          LOOK)
          I bring strangers who would sojourn
          with us this night.
          Cain turns to Zed and Oh and furtively mimes an elaborate lip-
          sewing gesture, ancient precursor to the modern lip-zipper.

          ADAM
          Greetings, strangers. I am called
          Adam and you are welcome to share
          the fruits of our toil.

          ZED
          Thanks, but I'm kind of staying
          away from fruit for the time being.
          Zed gives Cain a subtle, acquiescent nod as Adam ushers them
          into his crude dwelling.

          

          

          

          

                                                                         33.
          Official White

          17

          17                                                             INT. ADAM'S DWELLING - NIGHTFALL

          The rude dwelling has a stark, somber, almost Amish feeling
          to it. Zed and Oh sit at the table sharing a simple meal       youngest
          with Adam, Cain and his
          Adam's wife EVE and h
          them, Lilith's tunic gaping open to reveal her breasts every
          time she leans over to put something on the table. Zed and
          Oh can't take their eyes off her.

          ADAM
          (to Cain)
          Where is thy brother, Abel?

          CAIN
          (badly overplaying)
          Abel? Haven't seen him. I thought
          he was with you.
          (to Zed and Oh)
          You guys see him?
          They shake their heads and cough nervously.

          ZED AND OH
          (equally unconvincing)
          Nape. Not that I remember. Never
          seen anybody-- anywhere-- anytime --
          ever.

          ADAM
          (to Cain)
          Your sister Lilith said she saw him
          in the field with you.

          CAIN
          I think that was yesterday.

          ADAM
          No, this day. She said you both
          made offerings.

          CAIN
          That might've been Boaz---

          ADAM
          No, you and Abel. She said it
          looked like you were arguing.

          CAIN
          Hey, we're brothers, we argue
          sometimes- it's not that big a
          deal.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                           34.

          ADAM
          And his flock was untended in the

          PASTURE--

          CAIN

          (EXPLODES)
          Okay! What am I-- his keeper? Get
          off my back, will you?
          He smashes his plate against the wall and storms out. An
          awkward silence as Zed and Oh exchange guilty looks.

          ADAM
          I fear the worst for Abel. I am
          sorely vexed.

          ZED
          Yeah, that's got to be pretty
          vexing.
          A Bergmanesque gloom fills the hovel as Adam muses sullenly
          on his sorry circumstances.

          ADAM
          For my sin the ground is cursed.
          Thorns and thistles does it sprout
          for us, and we are doomed to toil
          all the days of our lives. For as
          the Lord has commanded, by the
          sweat of your brow shall you get
          bread to eat until you return to
          the ground from which you were
          taken. For dust you are, and to
          dust shall you return.

          ZED
          Wow. That's kind of a downer isn't
          it?

          ADAM
          It's the way of the world.

          ZED
          Boy, I hope not.

          ADAM
          (rises abruptly)
          You are welcome to stay the night
          and lay with my daughter Lilith.
          Zed looks at the luscious Lilith, then back at Adam.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                   35.

          ZED
          I'm waiting for the punchline.

          ADAM
          She is without a husband, and as
          the Lord has said, thou shalt be
          fruitful and multiply.
          Lilith nods demurely and exits through a curtain. Zed starts
          to follow her out.

          OH
          Hey! What about me?

          ADAM
          You may share the bed of my son
          Seth.

          ZED
          Yeah, there you go.
          (he exits)
          Oh looks at Seth.

          SETH
          I multiplied with a sheep.
          (Oh just stares at him)
          My thingie smells like lamb chops.

          18                                                             INT. LILITH'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS   18

          Zed enters the room. Lilith reclines on a cot with a straw
          mattress.

          LILITH
          (making room on the cot)
          My bed is small but you're welcome
          to share it. It's the way of my
          people.

          ZED
          (lying down beside her)
          And that's a good way to be. In
          fact, I'm kind of surprised a
          pretty girl like you is sleeping
          alone anyway. I would've thought
          guys would be lined up at the door.

          LILITH
          I don't like men.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                 36.

          ZED
          (moving closer)
          Maybe you just haven't met the
          right one.

          LILITH
          I like girls.

          ZED

          (SUAVE)
          So we have that in common--

          LILITH
          (stares at him for a beat)
          I'm attracted to women.

          ZED
          (a beat)
          I don't even know what that means.
          What does that mean?

          LILITH
          I like to have sex with other
          women.

          ZED
          (stares at her for a long

          MOMENT)
          I'm really not getting this.
          Lilith shakes her head, turns away from him, and pulls up her
          blanket. Zed shrugs and rolls over to sleep. They lie there
          quietly in the dark for a long beat. Then--
          Zed                                                             (cont'd)
          You're kidding! Whoa! That's
          amazing!

          19                                                              INT. SETH'S ROOM - SAME TIME   19

          Oh is lying next to Seth, wide-awake, trying to stay as far
          away from him as possible.

          SETH
          Oooh, listen to this one.
          Seth lifts his knees to his chest and farts a surprisingly
          long cadenza.

          OH
          That's really good.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                   37.

          SETH
          Want to see a trick?

          OH
          Do I have to?

          CUT TO:

          20                                                             EXT. ADAM'S DWELLING - DAYBREAK   20

          In the yard behind the house, Oh is helping Cain as he chops
          firewood with a metal axe. Oh now wears a tunic like the
          farmers.

          CAIN
          It's been the same damn thing my
          whole life.
          (swings the axe-- thwack!)
          "Why can't you be more like Abel?"
          (thwack!)
          "Oh, your sacrifice was good, too,
          but Abel's was-- wow!"
          (thwack!)

          OH
          (trying to change the

          SUBJECT)
          Your brother Seth is an interesting
          guy. Did you know he can put his
          penis in his mouth?
          Adam and Zed come out of his dwelling.
          KINSMEN from other dwellings start gathering.

          ADAM
          Cain!

          CAIN
          Yeah, hey-- where's everybody
          going?

          ADAM
          To look for Abel.

          CAIN

          (MUTTERS)
          Good luck.

          ADAM
          What did you say?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            38.

          CAIN
          (louder, mock sincerity)
          I said good luck. I'm really
          worried about him.
          He turns aside and makes a goofy sarcastic face for Oh's
          benefit.

          ADAM
          You're not coming?

          CAIN
          Yeah, I am. I just have to finish
          toiling over here, then I'm right
          behind you.
          Adam and the others hurry off, and as soon as they're gone,
          Cain rushes over and starts harnessing the oxen to the cart.
          CAIN                                                           (cont'd)
          (to Zed and Oh)
          Now listen, I'm getting out of
          here, and you better come with me.
          I have a feeling they're going to
          try and blame this whole "Abel-
          killing-thing" on you.

          ZED
          Why would they blame us?

          CAIN
          Because when they find him and his
          head is all bashed in, they're
          going to start pointing fingers,
          and you guys are drifters, so
          they'll put two and two together
          and that makes--
          He stares expectantly at Zed and Oh.
          CAIN                                                           (cont'd)
          Four! It makes four! Now stop
          asking so many questions and hop
          on. We gotta get out of here!
          He urgently whips the oxen and they climb aboard as the cart
          lumbers forward.

          CUT TO:

          

          

          

          
                                                                          Official White                                39.

          21                                                              EXT. WHEAT FIELD - MINUTES LATER


          21
          Adam and the other farmers discover Abel's body.

          ADAM

          (BITTERLY)

          CAIN--
          (to the others)
          After him!
          The farmers shout and race back to the hamlet.

          CUT TO:

          22                                                              EXT. THE HAMLET - MINUTES LATER


          22
          Adam and the other farmers jump onto two more oxcarts and set
          out after Cain, Zed and Oh.

          CUT TO:

          23                                                              EXT. CART PATH - LATER             23

          Cain's cart lumbers along. He looks back over his shoulder.

          CAIN
          (urgently, to Zed and Oh)
          They're gaining on us!
          Zed and Oh look back.

          THEIR POV
          The other oxcarts are a hundred yards back, "chasing" them at
          maybe two miles per hour.
          Cain whips his oxen and they step up the pace to 3 MPH.

          CAIN

          (GLEEFUL)
          Hah! They'll never catch us now!
          An aerial view shows Cain's cart slowly pulling away from his
          pursuers.
          Suddenly a bolt of lightning splits the bright blue sky and
          strikes Cain right on the forehead, knocking him back into
          the cart. He sits up stunned, with a still-smoking, jagged
          burn mark on his forehead.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                   40.
          CAIN                                                            (cont'd)
          (dazed but exhilarated)
          Wow! What are the odds of that?!
          (feeling the burn mark)
          Am I lucky or what?
          Zed and Oh exchange doubtful looks and glance nervously at
          the sky.

          CUT TO:

          24                                                              EXT. THE SEASHORE - DAY          24

          The ox cart approaches a small trading settlement on the
          seacoast, a kind of makeshift tent city around a central
          marketplace. Several dhows are tied up at the shore, camels
          and pack animals are tethered on the fringes, while TRADERS
          and MERCHANTS inspect newly arrived goods and haggle over
          prices.

          25                                                              EXT. MARKETPLACE - DAY - LATER   25

          Zed, Oh and Cain wander through the crowded market. PEOPLE
          OF EVERY RACE dressed in all manner of exotic garb buy, sell,
          and barter goods from distant lands. Zed and oh gawk like a
          couple of yokels.

          ZED
          Look at all these people! And this
          stuff!
          Oh approaches a bakery stand and stares hungrily at the
          bread.

          OH
          (to the Merchant)
          Can I have one of those?
          He reaches for a loaf but the MERCHANT strikes his hand with
          a cane.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          Ow!

          MERCHANT
          Two silver pieces.

          CAIN

          (HUNGRY)
          We're gonna need some money.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             41.

          ZED
          Yeah, we're gonna need money.
          (an afterthought)
          What's money?
          They see a crowd at the center of the market gathered around
          a raised platform.
          SLAVES IN SHACKLES are lined up on the raised wooden platform
          while CUSTOMERS examine those waiting to be auctioned.
          The AUCTIONEER brings up a fnuscular male slave in a
          loincloth.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          It's Marlak!
          Marlak's hands are bound and he's restrained by a chain
          attached to a thick leather collar around his neck.

          AUCTIONEER
          (addresses the crowd)
          Next up, an unusual item-- looks
          like a Caucasian-- he's big, he's
          strong, he's a good breeder, so I'm
          going to start at                                               100        gold minas.
          Do I hear                                                       100?
          As the bidding starts, Zed spots Maya, his sister Eema, and
          Enmebaragesi among the chained-up slaves waiting to be sold.
          Zed and Oh push their way through the crowd and go to them.

          ZED
          (amazed to see them)
          Eema! Maya!
          The women embrace him with relief and excitement.

          OH

          (SHEEPISH)
          Hi, Eema.

          EEMA
          Oh.

          ZED
          What happened? How did you get
          here?

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                             42.

          MAYA
          Well, after the fire--
          (she shoots him an
          accusing look))
          --the hill tribes raided the
          village. The men fought them but
          they were too many. They took us
          captive, marched us to the sea,
          then traded us to the boat people
          who brought us here.

          OH
          (to Eema)
          Are you all right? Did they-- rape
          you?

          EEMA

          (SHRUGS)
          Just a little.
          Zed and Oh look at her curiously.
          The SLAVE TRADER sees them talking to Eema and approaches.

          SLAVE TRADER
          You interested in some slaves?

          ZED
          (like a prospective buyer)
          Yeah, this one looks pretty good--
          He starts prodding, poking and squeezing Maya's arm like he's
          buying fruit. Oh takes the opportunity to fondle Eema's
          breasts. She punches him.
          Zed                                                             (cont'd)
          Ooh, feisty! So how does this work
          if we want them?
          The slave trader notes Zed's peasant clothes.

          SLAVE TRADER
          You have money?

          ZED

          (CAGEY)
          Well, that depends on what you mean
          by money?

          SLAVE TRADER
          Look, pal, money talks and bullshit
          walks. I don't have time for looky-
          loos.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                     43.
          Cain steps up and intercedes.

          CAIN

          (GRANDLY)
          Perhaps I can help.
          (confidentially to Zed and

          OH)
          Let me talk to the guy. Maybe I
          can make a deal with him. You guys
          wait here.
          Cain puts his arm around the slave trader's shoulder and
          walks him away.
          CAIN                                                        (cont'd)
          (to the slave trader)
          So what are we lookin' at here?
          From a distance, Zed and Oh watch them talking, but can't
          hear what they're saying.

          OH
          (to Eema)
          What an amazing coincidence--
          running into you and Maya and them.

          ZED
          You still think it's all just a
          coincidence?                                                All of us here right
          now, at this particular place, at
          this particular time?

          OH

          (THINKS)
          I don't know. Why do you think?

          ZED
          I'm not sure yet, but I'm starting
          to believe that everything happens
          for a reason. Like, why did I eat
          the forbidden fruit?

          OH
          To get laid?

          MAYA
          Hey!

          ZED

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                   44.
          Okay, that might have been what I
          was thinking at the time, but what
          if some omnipotent force put the
          fruit there because I was supposed
          to eat it?

          OH
          which omnipotent force?

          ZED
          What do you mean "which" omnipotent
          force? How many omnipotent forces
          could there be?

          OH
          I don't know! What's "omnipotent"
          mean?

          ZED
          Work with me-- I'm just speculating
          here. Let's call this force "God";
          and let's say this "God" is
          controlling everything. Maybe God
          wanted me to have the knowledge of
          good and evil.

          OH
          Why would he want that?

          MAYA
          How do you know God's a "He?"
          Zed rolls his eyes.

          ZED
          Don't you get what I'm saying?
          What if we've been chosen?

          MAYA
          You think we've been chosen by God?

          ZED
          Well, no offense, but it's possible
          that I was chosen and you all just
          happened to be there.

          OH
          Why would God choose you? Why
          wouldn't he choose Marlak? He's
          stronger.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                          45.

          ZED
          A chosen doesn't need to be strong.
          I'm big this way.
          (points to his temples)

          OH
          You do have a fat face.

          ZED
          Not my face, my brain. It's
          enormous. I'm the smartest guy in
          the village.

          OH

          (SCOFFS)
          You're not even-- I'm smarter than
          you!

          ZED
          What?!
          (to ANOTHER VILLAGER)
          Which one of us is smarter?

          VILLAGER
          You're both idiots!

          ZED
          Oh yeah, then why are we free and
          you're chained up?

          VILLAGER
          Because of you?

          CAIN
          (calls them over)
          Hey! Come here. I think we worked
          something out.

          ZED
          (confidently, to Maya)
          Sit tight. I'm going to get you
          out of here. Do you trust me?

          MAYA

          (HEDGING)
          I want to trust you.

          ZED
          Fair enough.
          She gives him an encouraging hug, then Zed and Oh cross to
          Cain and the slave trader.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                      46.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          (to Cain)
          Good work. What's the deal?
          The slave owner smiles.

          CUT TO:

          26                                                             EXT. SLAVE MARKET - A LITTLE LATER   26

          Zed and Oh are dragged onto the platform in shackles and leg
          irons.
          They see Cain riding off on a donkey. He holds up a bag of
          coins and waves goodbye.

          ZED
          I never trusted that guy.

          OH

          (SARCASTIC                                                     )
          Why? Just 'cause he murdered his
          brother and got hit by lightning?
          They are pushed to the front of the platform.

          SLAVE TRADER
          (to the crowd)
          All right! Next up is a twofer--
          I'm selling them as a pair-- I know
          they don't look like much-- but I'm
          starting the bidding at sixty gold
          minas. Do I hear sixty?

          (NOTHING)
          Remember, it's two for one here.
          Do I hear fifty? Anyone? That's
          only twenty-five apiece, folks.

          (NOTHING)
          Zed looks out at the crowd, starting to get offended.
          SLAVE TRADER (cont'd)
          You're breaking my heart here. How
          about forty? Do I hear forty?

          (NOTHING)

          ZED
          (to Oh)
          It's not like I want to be a slave
          or anything, but this is
          embarrassing!

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                                 47.

          SLAVE TRADER
          Thirty-five? Thirty?

          ZED

          (SHOUTS)
          Come on, people! We're a steal at
          thirty!

          OH
          They probably don't know how smart
          you think you are.
          Finally, a Bedouin SHEIK raises his giraffe-tail fly whisk
          and waves it at the slave trader.

          SLAVE TRADER
          Yes! Sold to Sheikh Hassan for                                  30
          gold minas!
          (to Zed and Oh)
          Have a good time in the salt mines,
          boys.

          CUT TO:

          27                                                              EXT. DESERT - LATER THAT DAY   27

          A small CARAVAN OF CAMELS AND DONKEYS loaded with trade goods
          moves across the arid wasteland. The effete SHEIKH rides the
          lead camel, protected from the blistering sun by a colorful
          canopy. A FEW ARMED BEDOUIN GUARDS ride alongside.
          Bringing up the rear is A LARGE FOUR-WHEELED CART DRAWN BY
          HORSES, basically a cage on wheels into which TWENTY NEWLY
          PURCHASED SLAVES have been crammed, jammed together like
          sardines.
          Zed and Oh are in the middle of the body pile, literally
          cheek by jowl with the other slaves, barely able to move.       I
          Eema is right next to Oh, her body pressed tight against his.
          Oh shifts around, repositioning his arms and body trying to
          get more comfortable and give Eema a little space, but he
          just ends up touching her even more.

          OH

          (EMBARRASSED)
          Excuse me-- I'm sorry--
          (his hand gets stuck
          between her breasts)
          That's not good--
          He jerks his hand away, elbowing Marlak in the face.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             48.
          Marlak growls and grabs Oh by the throat, but the struggle
          forces everyone else to shift which causes even more
          discomfort.

          THE OTHER SLAVES
          Ow! Hey! Cut that out!
          Zed tries to turn his head to see who's behind him.

          ZED                                                             (CONT'D)

          (GROUCHY)
          Hey, pal! You can take your foot
          out of my ass anytime now.

          (BEAT)
          And your foot is still there. If I
          turn around, you will be sorry.
          Zed twists violently and manages a full turn which brings him
          face to face and crotch to crotch with Maya.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          That's better.

          MAYA
          For you maybe.

          ZED
          Look, I want you to know I blame
          myself for everything that
          happened.

          MAYA
          So does everybody else.

          MARLAK
          (over his shoulder)
          Get away from my woman!

          ZED

          (IRRITATED)
          I don't think that's going to be
          possible. And I told you before,
          she's not "your woman."

          MARLAK
          I'll kill you!
          Marlak starts muscling and squirming his way through the body
          pile trying to get to Zed.

          THE OTHER SLAVES
          Hey! Watch it, jerk!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                                    49.
          It's too cramped to even throw a punch, so Marlak uses a
          RANDOM SLAVE'S HEAD as a weapon to bang against zed's head
          repeatedly.

          RANDOM SLAVE

          (MEEKLY)
          Why?
          Suddenly Zed feels Marlak's hands around his neck, grabbing
          him from behind. Zed struggles but Marlak manages to pull
          him into a full headlock, forcing Zed's face into his hairy
          armpit.

          ZED

          (MUFFLED)
          Ecchhh!
          Oh is vaguely aware of the fight going on but can't move.

          OH
          (calling to Zed)
          Hold on! I'm coming!
          Oh tries to maneuver to Zed, but can't move an inch.
          OH                                                            (CONT'D)                                            (cont'd)
          If everyone could just move to the
          right. Please? Thank you in
          advance for your cooperation.
          (then, giving up hope)
          You can do it, Zed! Use his weight
          against him!
                                                                        Marlak now has Zed locked in a lethal choke hold.

                                                                                                                            28

          28                                                            EXT. THE SLAVE WAGON - CONTINUOUS

          A BEDOUIN GUARD notices the commotion and bangs the bars of
          the cage with his staff.

          BEDOUIN
          (shouts at the slaves)
          Knock it off! Don't make me come
          in there!

          ZED

          (MASHED)
          I'd like to see you try.
          The Bedouin is just about to respond when suddenly A METAL
          TIPPED ARROW FLIES IN AND PIERCES HIS THROAT. He drops to
          the sand, dead.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                    50.

          A BATTLE CHARIOT
          comes flying over the crest of the wadi followed by TWENTY
          ARMORED FOOT SOLDIERS wearing bronze helmets and
          breastplates.
          The soldiers attack the caravan, slashing and slicing the
          Bedouin guards.
          Their commander, SARGON, his helmet topped with a magnificent
          plume, rides up in the chariot and with one mighty stroke of
          his sword cuts the head off ANOTHER BEDOUIN GUARD.
          Marlak reaches through the bars, grabs the fallen Bedouin's
          sword and hacks off the lock on the door of the slave wagon.
          The door flies open and the slaves tumble, jump and stumble
          out onto the ground.
          Zed and Oh look around, gawking at the massacre taking place.
          Then Zed sees Marlak, sword in hand, looking for him.

          SARGON
          (shouts an order)
          Take the slaves!
          Marlak starts for Zed but two soldiers ride up and throw a
          heavy restraining net over him.
          Zed grabs oh and takes off running over the nearest sand
          dune.
          Sargon watches them flee.

          A SOLDIER
          Sir, shall I pursue them?

          SARGON
          No. Let the desert have them.
          They won't get far.

          CUT TO:

          29                                                              EXT. THE DESERT   - SUNSET   29

          The soldiers are camped for the night. The slaves are back
          in their cage. Sargon the commander stops to instruct the

          GUARD.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                 51.

          SARGON
          Tend to the slaves. We leave for
          Sodom before daybreak.

          GUARD
          Yes, sir.

          30

          30                                                           ZED AND OH
          They lie hidden behind a sandy ridge watching from a short
          distance.

          ZED

          (WHISPERS)
          I wonder who they are. Their hats
          are really great, aren't they?

          OH
          Their hats? I'm sorry, but when
          that one guy cut the other guy's
          head off, my first thought wasn't,
          "Gee, what a great hat."

          ZED
          It wasn't my very first thought,
          but I'd be lying if I said it
          wasn't up there.

          (WATCHFUL)
          Now we just need to figure out a
          way to rescue Maya and Eema.

          OH
          How are we going to rescue anybody?
          They're killers!

          ZED

          (WILY)
          Patience, my friend. Even killers
          have to sleep sometime.
          He keeps a sharp, wakeful eye on the enemy camp.

          DISSOLVE TO:

          31                                                           THE MORNING SUN   31
          Zed and Oh fast asleep on the ridge. They slowly wake up.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                              52.

          ZED

          (SCRATCHING)
          Well, that was refreshing. How'd
          you sleep?

          OH

          (YAWNS)
          Not that well. I think I was over-
          tired.
          Then Zed suddenly remembers Maya. He looks and sees that the
          soldiers and slaves are long gone.

          ZED
          Shit!
          He leaps to his feet, looks around desperately, and sees
          nothing but a vast wasteland in every direction.

          OH
          Now where do we go?
          Zed sniffs the air, puts his ear to the ground, and tastes
          the sand.

          ZED
          I have no idea.

          CUT TO:

          32                                                             ZED AND OH   32
          trudging across the desert in the blistering heat, growing
          weaker, stumbling and falling.

          OH
          (too weak to move)
          Why do I listen to you? Now we're
          going to starve to death or die of
          thirst.

          ZED
          Will you stop being so negative? I
          got your back, man. Who saved you
          from those lions when you were a
          baby? They were going to pounce,
          had you surrounded. Took the mama
          lion-- BAM!-- kneed her right in
          the face. Papa lion comes flying
          at me-- BAM!-- dropped an elbow,
          knocked his ass out.

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                                          Official White                           53.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Took his legs-- THWOOM!-- tossed
          him in the river. And the rest
          just ran off.

          OH
          You know, I've asked people about
          that and no one else seems to
          remember it.

          ZED
          Yeah, because nobody else was
          there. You're lucky I was walking
          by.

          (THEN)
          Okay, it's possible I dreamed that--
          but who practically raised you
          after your father was dragged off
          by those raccoons? Not a dignified
          death.

          OH
          (practically delirious)
          He was a small man.
          Oh collapses face down in the sand.
          Pull back to reveal that they are surrounded by hungry
          jackals, vultures and hyenas.

          ZED
          We've got to keep moving.
          (hauls Oh to his feet)
          I've got you, buddy-- just like
          always.
          He puts Oh over his shoulder and stumbles on.

          33                                                              EXT. ROCKY HILLSIDE - LATER   33

          A MAN in his sixties, tall, full beard, piercing eyes and
          fierce nose, dressed in a robe and kafiyya, arranges firewood
          on a large flat rock. His TEENAGE SON looks around
          curiously. They are ABRAHAM and ISAAC.

          ISAAC
          Hey, Dad? We making a burnt
          offering?

          ABRAHAM
          Yes, Isaac. As God has commanded
          me.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             54.

          ISAAC

          (CONFUSED)
          I don't see the sheep.

          ABRAHAM
          The Lord will provide the sheep.
          Abraham takes a cord and starts tying Isaac's hands together.

          ISAAC

          (NERVOUSLY)
          Uh-- is this like a magic trick?
          Without another word Abraham takes strong hold of Isaac and
          lifts him up onto the firewood.
          ISAAC                                                           (cont'd)
          (really scared now)
          Okay, if this is because I didn't
          clean up my tent, you can stop now.
          I get it.
          Then Abraham pulls a long slaughtering knife from beneath his
          robe.
          ISAAC                                                           (cont'd)

          (PANICKED)
          All right, this isn't funny
          anymore!
          Abraham raises the knife.
          ISAAC                                                           (cont'd)
          I'm telling mom!
          The knife flashes in the sun as it descends toward the boy.

          ZED                                                             (O.C.)

          STOP!
          Abraham and Isaac both turn to see Zed and Oh step out from
          behind the rocks. Their clothes are tattered and they are
          burnt raw by the sun.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          What are you doing to that kid?

          ABRAHAM

          (INNOCENTLY)
          Nothing.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                  55.

          ZED
          What do you mean, nothing? You
          were just going to kill him!

          ABRAHAM
          No, I was going to sacrifice him.
          There's a difference.

          ZED
          (indicating Isaac)
          Not to him, I'm guessing.
          Isaac nods gratefully.

          ABRAHAM
          By what right do you interfere?
          Art thou an angel of the Lord?

          ZED
          (good question)
          What do you think?

          ABRAHAM
          (nods sagely)
          Verily, thou wast sent to stay my
          hand by the Eternal one, blessed be
          He.

          ZED

          (NODS)
          Whatever you just said.
          Oh helps Isaac off the altar stone and unties him.

          ISAAC
          (confidentially to Oh)
          He's nuts! I'm telling you-- he's
          totally lost it.

          ABRAHAM
          (to Zed)
          I am Abraham, son of Terah of the
          house of Nahor.

          ZED
          I am Zed and this is Oh, sons of--
          people you wouldn't know.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                56.

          ABRAHAM
          The tents of my kinsmen lie just
          beyond. There will you find all
          that you desire. Come.

          CUT TO:

          34                                                              EXT. HEBREW ENCAMPMENT        34

          Abraham leads Isaac, Zed and Oh past the colorful               tents of
          his people. The camp is alive with activity.

          35                                                              INT. ABRAHAM'S TENT - NIGHT   35

          The spacious tent is lit by torches, and a feast is in
          progress. TWENTY OR THIRTY BEARDED MEN in skullcaps and long
          robes lounge on cushions or sit cross-legged in a circle on
          the carpeted floor.
          An EGYPTIAN BELLY DANCER shakes her hips for the pleasure of
          Abraham who occupies the place of honor.
          Zed and oh, now also wearing robes and skullcaps, are sitting
          right beside him eating and drinking everything in sight.
          Isaac sits beside them.
          ABRAHAM claps his hands for attention. Zed and Oh look up as
          the music stops.

          ABRAHAM
          (to the assembly)
          My brothers, let us give thanks
          unto God for staying my hand on the
          mountain this day.

          ISAAC
          (humoring him)
          Best dad in all the land, everyone!

          THE KINSMEN
          (a ritual response, in

          UNISON)
          Praise be to God, hallowed be His
          name.

          ABRAHAM
          And for the bounty which He hath
          bestowed unto us.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                         57.

          THE KINSMEN
          (in unison)
          He hath increased our wealth and
          blessed us with His loving
          kindness.
          Zed and Oh mutter along, trying to fit in.

          ZED AND OH
          (a beat late)
          --mumble mumble mumble loving
          kindness.
          Abraham looks at them.

          ABRAHAM
          Friends, whence comest thou?
          Zed and Oh look at each other blankly.

          ISAAC

          (HELPFULLY)
          He wants to know where you're from.

          ABRAHAM

          (SUSPICIOUS)
          Thou comest not from the cities of
          the plain? From Sodom or Gomorrah?
          Zed perks up at the mention of Sodom, recalling the
          destination of the soldiers who took Maya and the others.

          ZED
          Sodom and Gomorrah? Never been
          there. But I've heard of them.

          OH
          Are they nice?

          ABRAHAM
          The Lord has cursed them for their
          abomination.

          ZED
          (nods gravely)
          i didn't know that. What kind of
          abomination are we talking about?

          ABRAHAM
          They bow down before false Gods and
          worship graven images.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                        58.

          ZED
          (clicks his tongue)
          Abominable.

          ABRAHAM
          The men of the city are weak and
          soft, fat with rich food,
          intoxicated by strong drink.

          ZED
          (sounds good to him)
          Really. Tell me more.

          ABRAHAM
          Their women are whores; their
          shameless lust knows no bounds.
          They flaunt their flesh without
          shame and any man may have
          knowledge of them.

          OH
          (he's sold)
          And where exactly are those cities?

          ZED
          (off Abraham's stern look)
          We just want to know so we can
          avoid them.

          ABRAHAM

          (FIERCELY)
          Walk not the path of Sodom! For
          surely will the Lord send his holy
          fire to destroy the city and all
          who dwell within, to smite them and
          all their seed for their iniquity.

          ZED

          (CONCERNED)
          When do you think all this smiting
          is going to go down? We may have
          some friends there.

          ABRAHAM
          (getting up)
          Accompany me.
          Abraham sweeps out of the tent. Zed and Oh jump to their
          feet and follow. Isaac tags along.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                              59.

          36                                                             EXT. THE TENT - CONTINUOUS   36

          Abraham walks to the edge of the desert. Torchlight from the
          camp flickers on his face as he gazes across the desolate
          moonlit landscape.

          ZED
          Abraham, I'm a little worried about
          the city being destroyed.

          ABRAHAM
          Their fate is sealed. But for my
          faith and devotion, the self-same
          God has given unto me the whole of
          this land, from the Jordan to the
          Negev, from the river of Egypt to
          the great Euphrates. This did He
          grant to me and my seed.
          He raises his arms and spreads them wide.

          ZED

          (IMPRESSED)
          This is all your land?

          ABRAHAM
          For eternity.

          ISAAC

          (SCOFFS)
          Yeah, God just forgot to tell
          anyone else. we're having a war
          with someone like every five
          minutes.

          ABRAHAM
          (scowls at him)
          I and my kinsmen have vanquished
          our enemies by the mighty hand of
          the Lord, praised be He.
          Zed and Oh fake their way through a ritual response.

          ZED
          His name is praise and love his
          whole graciousness--

          OH
          --of his wealthy bounty.
          Abraham gets a strange faraway look in his eyes.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                        60.

          ABRAHAM
          Therefore, to signify my Covenant
          with the One True God, on this
          night will I circumcise the flesh
          of my foreskin, and of you and
          every male who dwells hereby.

          ZED                                                 OH
          Excuse me?                                          I'm not clear--

          ISAAC
          Here we go again--

          ABRAHAM
          we will grasp the foreskins of our
          penises and cut therefrom the extra
          flesh.

          ZED

          (AGHAST)
          I'm not sure I have any extra.

          OH
          Couldn't we could just get our ears
          pierced?

          ISAAC
          (aside to Zed)
          Okay, what did I tell you-- nuts?

          ZED
          You know, Abe, it's late, and we've
          all had a lot to drink, and I know
          this whole foreskin thing sounds
          like a good idea now, but you may
          just want to sleep on it. we could
          always cut 'em off in the morning,
          but if we do it now, there's just
          no putting it back on later.

          ABRAHAM
          No. So it shall be written, so it
          shall be done.
          (to Isaac)
          Get my big knife.
          Zed and Oh both reflexively cover their crotches.

          CUT TO:

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                            61.

          37                                                              EXT. THE DESERT - NIGHT   37

          Zed and oh stumble over the rocky hills. They hear a PAINED
          SCREAM from someone being circumcised back at Abraham's camp.

          OH
          You have any idea where we're
          going?

          ZED
          To the city. I have to find Maya.

          OH
          The city! He said God's going to
          smite them with holy fire!

          ZED
          And you're going to listen to him?
          You think he's more chosen than me?

          OH
          He seemed to know what he was
          talking about.

          ZED
          Yes, and he also wanted to give his
          dick a little trim.

          VOICE                                                           (O.C.)
          Hey, wait up!
          Zed and Oh turn to see Isaac running towards them.

          ISAAC
          (out of breath)
          I'm coming with you.

          ZED
          You don't even know where we're
          going.

          ISAAC
          You're going to Sodom, right?

          ZED
          No. Your dad specifically said
          Sodom and Gomorrah were evil.

          ISAAC
          Yeah, whatever. If I show you how
          to get there, will you buy me a
          bottle of wine?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                     62.

          ZED
          No! I told you, that's not where
          we're going.

          ISAAC
          Fine. Then we'll just stand here.

          ZED
          Fine.
          They stand there for less than a beat.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Okay, you win. Take us to Sodom.
          Isaac takes a couple of steps to the top of a rise and points
          off in the distance.

          THEIR POV
          Shining in the moonlight, the magnificent city of Sodom set
          atop a broad hill surrounded by high walls.

          ZED
          I knew it was right around here.

          ISAAC
          Me and my friends sneak in on the
          weekends. We hang around, pick up
          on the babes, drink some wine, get
          wasted on killer hash--

          ZED
          You shouldn't be smoking either.

          ISAAC
          Thanks, Grandpa, but I've been
          smoking for four harvests, so I
          think I'm okay.
                                                                          They start down toward the city.

                                                                                                             CUT TO:

          38                                                              EXT. CITY GATES - NIGHT            38

          Zed, Oh and Isaac gape at the high masonry walls as they
          approach the massive solid wooden gates.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             63.

          OH
          Gee, they're not open. We should
          probably come back later.

          ISAAC
          You just have to knock. They
          always let me in.
          (to Oh)
          Go ahead.

          OH
          Me? Why do I have to knock? What
          if we're waking somebody up? Let's
          just get out of here.

          ZED
          Where? Back to the penis-cutter?
          Besides, Eema and Maya might be in
          there. You want to get them out
          before the city's destroyed, don't
          you?
          Isaac impatiently grabs a big rock and starts banging on the
          door.

          ISAAC

          (SHOUTING)
          Hey! Anybody there? Hello?
          Suddenly Zed and Oh are yanked off their feet from behind and
          slammed into the wall by helmeted sentries. Isaac quickly
          runs away.

          SENTRY
          (shouts at him)
          Halt!
          Isaac stops a safe distance away and turns back to taunt the
          guards.

          ISAAC
          You gonna make me?
          (dancing and dodging like
          a boxer)
          You and what army?

          ZED
          (shouts to Isaac)
          Get help! Tell your father!

          ISAAC
          (shouts back)
          Yeah!

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                                          Official White                           64.
          ISAAC                                                           (cont'd)
          Like I'm really gonna tell my
          father I came with you to Sodom.
          So long, suckers!
          He takes off running.

          ZED
          (to Oh)
          I kinda get why his dad wanted to
          kill him.
          The sentries drag them through a small door cut into a corner
          of the city gates.

          CUT TO:

          39                                                              INT. GATEHOUSE - CONTINUOUS   39

          The sentries shove them into a small guard post and throw
          them up against the wall. THREE OTHER GUARDS look up at the
          new arrivals.

          FIRST GUARD
          What's this now?

          SENTRY
          They were banging on the gate.
          Hebrews, from the look of them.

          ZED
          We're not really Hebrews--
          The guard smacks him in the mouth.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Okay. Lesson learned. No talking.

          SENTRY
          Should we wake the Sergeant?

          FIRST GUARD
          You don't want to do that. He gets
          pretty mean when you wake him.

          OH
          Meaner than this?
          The sentry grabs Oh's nipple and twists. Oh SCREAMS loudly.
          The guards freeze at the sound of his scream and look
          nervously to a closed door at one end of the room.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             65.

          SERGEANT
          (from behind the door,

          ROARS)

          BLOODY HELL! WHAT'S GOING ON OUT

          THERE!
          Zed and Oh exchange worried looks. Then the door flies open
          and the SERGEANT, a huge, angry, sadistic rhino of a man,
          fills the door frame.
          SERGEANT                                                        (cont'd)
          Who the hell screamed?
          They all point at Oh.
          SERGEANT                                                        (cont'd)
          (glowers at him)
          I thought it was a woman.
          He lumbers over and gets his face very close to Oh's.
          SERGEANT                                                        (cont'd)
          You don't look like a woman, but
          maybe you want to kiss me anyway.
          Is that right? You want to kiss
          me?
          Oh turns away from his foul breath.
          The sergeant grabs Oh by the throat and practically lifts him
          off the ground.
          SERGEANT                                                        (cont'd)
          By morning you'll be sorry you were
          born.

          OH
          Don't have to wait 'til morning.

          ZED
          Hey! Why don't you pick on someone
          your own size?
          The sergeant drops Oh and turns to Zed.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (quickly backpedaling)
          Which would be difficult since
          there are probably very few people
          around who actually are your size--
          He smacks Zed hard on the side of the head.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                   66.

          SERGEANT
          (to another guard)
          Get my big stick. I'll deal with
          the fat one first.

          ZED

          (INSULTED)
          Relatively fat one. I wouldn't be
          talking about fat, if I were you.
          Another blow from the sergeant.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          Right. Enough said.
          The sergeant rips open Zed's shirt exposing his back, then
          steps up behind Oh and does the same. A guard hands him a
          lethal-looking bat studded with sharp spikes.

          SERGEANT
          (to Zed and Oh)
          Welcome to Sodom.
          As he takes a big backswing, Zed and Oh shut their eyes and
          prepare for the worst.

          VOICE                                                         (O.C.)
          Stop!
          Zed and Oh turn to see Cain at the door, dressed like the
          other guards in breastplate and helmet.

          CAIN
          Wait! I know these guys!

          ZED AND OH
          Cain?

          CAIN
          Brothers!!
          He embraces them. They look confused and doubtful, but
          relieved.

          CUT TO:

          40                                                            EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT - LATER   40

          Cain leads them through the narrow crowded streets. People
          avoid Cain's gaze and part like the Red Sea to allow him
          through.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            67.

          CAIN
          You know, you guys are lucky that
          sergeant is a friend of mine. I
          let him sodomize me once right
          after I got here and he's been real
          nice to me ever since.

          OH

          (SARCASTIC)
          Yeah, thanks for saving us. What
          are you going to do to us now?
          Cain stops and looks at them.

          CAIN
          wait a second. Do I detect a tone
          here?

          ZED
          All right, honestly? You did sell
          us into slavery.

          CAIN
          (instantly offended)
          Whoa whoa whoa! Hold a grudge
          much? That was like a fortnight
          ago.

          ZED
          That was way less than a fortnight.
          Half a fortnight, maybe.

          CAIN
          Give me a break! I was dealing
          with the death of a close family
          member and I needed some space.
          But now I realize that you guys are
          like my brothers. And it's so rare
          to find a brother that you love.
          Right?
          He embraces them.

          ZED AND OH

          (UNEASILY)
          Right.

          CAIN

          (EXUBERANT)
          Now, you guys hungry? Watch this.
          Cain walks up to a food vendor's stall and stares menacingly
          at the VENDOR. He raises his fist. The vendor cowers.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             68.
          CAIN                                                            (CONT'D)   (cont'd)
          (to Vendor)
          That's two for flinching.
          Cain grabs two lamb kebabs and hands them to Zed and Oh.
          CAIN                                                            (cont'd)
          That's the kind of love I'm talkin'
          about.
          As they eat hungrily, Zed makes eye contact with a prostitute
          lounging in a doorway.

          ZED
          Check out that woman across the
          street! She's looking at us.
          The prostitute smiles at them as she sensuously peels a
          banana, then slides the whole thing unbroken into her mouth.

          OH
          We are so in! She's eye-knowing us
          like crazy.

          CAIN
          You're gonna love Sodom. Trust me.
          It's crazy. This morning, I almost
          got a handie behind that pita
          stand.

          OH
          Well, I kind of have a girlfriend--
          not a girlfriend, yet, but a girl I
          like, so I shouldn't--

          CAIN
          Hey, what happens in Sodom, stays
          in Sodom.
          He takes a jug of wine from the stall of a WINE MERCHANT.
          The merchant just bows obsequiously and keeps his mouth shut.
          CAIN                                                            (cont'd)
          You know, if you guys are staying
          you should join the guards. The
          pay's not great, but there's tons
          of perks. I'm telling you, it's
          the only way to go.
          Cain grabs a piece of candy from a SMALL CHILD and stuffs it
          in his mouth. The child starts crying, Cain kicks her in the
          ass and she runs away.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                      69.

          OH
          (to the child)
          Sorry.

          CAIN
          Come on, I'll introduce you to the
          captain.

          CUT TO:

          41                                                              EXT. BARRACKS       - NEXT MORNING   41

          A military drum roll and the blare of trumpets rouse the
          garrison. GUARDSMEN come double-timing out of the barracks
          and hurry to line up in formation.
          Last to emerge are Zed and Oh who step leisurely out the door
          now dressed as Royal Guards. Zed actually looks dashing, but
          Oh's breastplate is too big and his helmet keeps slipping
          down over his eyes.

          ZED
          This is great! How do I look?

          OH
          You look good, but I think my hat's
          too big.
          They notice an OFFICER staring at them.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          (to the officer)
          Do you happen to know where I could
          get a smaller hat?
          The officer pops him on the head with a truncheon.

          OFFICER

          (ROARS)
          Line up!
          Zed and Oh hustle into line, orders are shouted and the troop
          marches off.

          DISSOLVE TO:

          42                                                              EXT. CITY STREETS   - LATER          42

          Zed and Oh are on patrol with Cain in the heart of the city.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                            70.

          ZED
          So is this it? We just walk
          around?

          CAIN
          Pretty much. We just look for
          troublemakers and kick the living
          shit out of 'em.

          ZED
          What kind of trouble?

          CAIN
          If we see a thief or a pickpocket,
          we just slap him around-- maybe cut
          off a finger or an ear, or the tip
          of his nose, lower lip-- anything
          you can just grab and slice in one
          fluid motion-- then we take our
          share of the loot and let him go.
          Mostly what we worry about are
          activist types, rabble rousers,
          getting people all riled up against
          the King or the Temple Priests.
          That's death for sure.

          ZED
          Pretty harsh, isn't it?

          CAIN
          Harsh times, brother. We're in the
          middle of a famine. People are
          starving. If we don't get some
          rain soon, it could get ugly.
          (looking forward to it)
          Then we'll get to start kicking ass
          big time.
          He stops to flog a BEGGAR with his hand out.
          CAIN                                           (cont'd)
          Beat it, you filthy beggar!

          OH
          You can't blame people for being
          hungry.

          CAIN
          Yeah, well, just remember, it's the
          palace that pays you, not the
          people.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             71.
          Suddenly, they hear a regal fanfare of approaching trumpets
          and turn to look.
          At the sound of the trumpets EVERYONE IN THE CROWDED SQUARE
          falls to the ground and prostrates himself. Cain pulls Oh to
          the ground but Zed is left standing there oblivious as the
          ROYAL ENTOURAGE approaches.
          Oh taps on Zed's leg trying to get his attention, but Zed
          just ignores it, too transfixed to notice that he's the only
          one standing.
          EIGHT STRONG MALE SLAVES enter the square carrying an
          ornately decorated litter shaded with a silk canopy. On it
          is the PRINCESS INANNA, a stunning young woman, richly
          dressed and bejeweled, with exotic eyes and luscious red
          lips. A HANDMAIDEN rides along fanning her with a big
          ostrich plume fan.
          Zed sees the Princess and is instantly taken with her beauty.
          Princess Inanna glances his way and can't help but notice
          he's the only person in the square still standing. She gives
          him a quizzical smile, then turns away imperiously.
          As the litter passes, her handmaiden continues to stare at
          Zed. He doesn't recognize her, but we do. It's Maya, now
          elaborately costumed and made-up.
          Zed gawks at the Princess, then suddenly a ROYAL GUARD knocks
          him to the ground and stands on his neck as the rest of the
          entourage passes.

          ZED
          (on the ground, excitedly
          to Oh)
          Did you see that girl? I think she
          liked me! She looked right at me.

          OH
          Gee, I wonder why?
          The royal guard takes his foot off Zed's neck and they all
          get back to their feet.

          ZED
          Who was she?

          CAIN
          The Princess Inanna. She's totally
          hot, but don't even think about it.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                       72.

          ZED
          Why not?

          CAIN
          Because she's royalty and you're
          scum?
          The entire crowd starts moving in the same direction as the
          royal entourage.

          OH
          Where's everybody going?

          CAIN
          To the temple. Let's go.
          (starts walking)
          You have to see this.

          ZED

          (FOLLOWING)
          Will she be there?

          CAIN
          Everybody will be there.

          CUT TO:

          43                                                              EXT. TEMPLE SQUARE - MINUTES LATER   43

          At the center of the square is a magnificent temple adorned
          with elaborate carvings and monumental statues of pagan gods.
          Before it is a great altar in front of a HUGE STONE IDOL.
          The idol's mouth is a gaping fiery furnace. Behind the
          temple, is a towering ZIGGURAT still under construction.
          A HUNDRED TRUMPETERS AND DRUMMERS blast a solemn fanfare as
          ORNATELY GARBED PRIESTS ceremoniously climb the stairs to the
          altar.

          ZED AND OH
          stare at the spectacle.

          44                                                              THE ROYAL PAVILION                   44
          The Princess Inanna takes her seat near the KING, the QUEEN,
          the MINISTERS and other NOBLES. Maya stands behind the
          Princess and continues fanning her.
          Zed spots the Princess on the pavilion.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                                 73.

          ZED
          Hey, there she is!
          He starts edging toward the royal pavilion.

          45

          45                                                            THE PAVILION
          Under a broad awning, the King and Queen snack from a table
          covered with platters of exotic fruits and sweetmeats.
          The King, an imposing man with Shakespearean gravity, wipes
          his mouth and glances at the Princess Inanna.

          KING
          The Princess isn't eating?

          INANNA
          I find it hard to eat when so many
          are hungry.

          KING
          (as if )
          Your concern is enviable.

          INANNA

          (POUTY)
          And besides, I'm so fat.
          The Queen,                                                    40's, still beautiful, reacts.

          QUEEN
          (for the hundredth time)
          You're not fat--

          INANNA
          Yes, I am, mother! Those new linen
          pants you got me from Egypt make my
          ass look just huge.

          QUEEN
          Well, you can't keep starving
          yourself.

          INANNA
          Why not? Everybody else is
          starving-- present company
          excluded.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                    74.

          KING
          Careful, Princess. You may be my
          step-daughter, but these are
          dangerous times and those are
          dangerous words. I weep for the
          suffering of my people, but the
          spirit of rebellion is alive in the
          city and if necessary I will crush
          it with every means at my disposal.

          INANNA

          (SARCASTIC)
          For the good of the people.

          KING
          (warning her)
          For the good of everyone who enjoys
          the favor of the throne.

          INANNA
          Whatever. I'm just so incredibly
          bored.

          46                                                             THE TEMPLE DOORS   46
          The fanfare climaxes as the great temple doors slowly open
          and the HIGH PRIEST emerges followed by a retinue of
          PRIESTESSES and a dozen VESTAL VIRGINS. They walk in solemn
          silence to ritual positions around the altar.
          The High Priest is even more elaborately costumed than the
          nobles, ridiculously so, standing very tall on high platform
          shoes, with heavy eye makeup, his hair and beard even oilier
          than the others. He turns to the altar, raises his hands to
          the heavens and begins his invocation.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (intoning pompously)
          O El, lord of Heaven and Earth;
          Baal, the Sublime; Shapash, goddess
          of the sun; Hadad, the storm god,
          over-ruling son of Dagon, the
          bountiful, god of grain, our
          earthly sustenance--

          ZED
          He makes his way to a position just below the royal pavilion
          and stares up at the Princess Inanna.
          She sees him looking at her but pretends not to notice.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                           75.

          INANNA
          Isn't that the idiot who was
          standing up in the street?
          Maya sees him, too, and starts fuming.
          The High Priest continues.

          HIGH PRIEST
          We come before you in humble
          supplication, invoking your
          blessing, the sweet rain which
          waters our fields, enriches the
          harvest, fills our storehouses,
          makes mighty the house of Ish-ka-bi-
          baal and the city of Sodom--
          The King nods graciously.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                   (cont'd)
          --and feeds us, your children, with
          the bounty of your grace.

          PRINCESS INANNA
          She glances at Zed again, but this time a slight smile
          crosses her lips.
          Zed grins back at her.
          The Princess whispers something to her handmaiden Maya and
          subtly points Zed out to her. Maya nods obediently, glaring
          at Zed, and starts fanning the princess a little too
          vigorously.

          THE ALTAR

          HIGH PRIEST
          Accept now this humble sacrifice to
          the power and glory of your
          magnificence.
          He starts inspecting the Vestal Virgins, beautiful young
          women in diaphanous, almost transparent white gowns.

          ZED AND OH
          have no idea what's going on. Zed turns to the GUY NEXT TO

          HIM.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                            76.

          ZED
          What's happening?

          GUY
          He's picking a virgin.

          CAIN

          (LASCIVIOUS)
          Oh yeah. Uh huh. Uh huh.

          AT THE ALTAR
          the High Priest is moving down the line of beautiful young
          maidens. He comes to one SLUTTY GIRL who seems so obviously
          not a virgin, he does a double take and kicks her out of the
          line.

          ZED AND OH
          watching curiously.

          ZED
          What do they want a virgin for?

          GUY
          To throw into the fire.

          ZED

          (SHOCKED)
          Why?

          GUY
          (like talking to an idiot)
          Offering to the Gods. There's a
          famine going on. If we don't make
          a good sacrifice, it won't rain.
          No rain, no harvest. No harvest,
          no food. Get it?

          CAIN
          It's pretty self-explanatory.

          OH
          You throw the virgin in the fire so
          it'll rain?

          GUY
          Duh.

          ZED
          Seems like a waste of a perfectly
          good virgin to me.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                             77.

          OH

          (CONCERNED)
          These virgins-- it's always a girl,
          right?

          AT THE ALTAR
          A great cheer goes up as a girl is chosen. She swoons as the
          priestesses slip off her vestment and two priests escort her
          to the fiery mouth of the furnace.

          HIGH PRIEST
          For the love of the Gods and the
          glory of their Creation, the great
          dome of Heaven, the green growing
          Earth, we commit this maiden to
          your Holy Fire.
          Another great cheer from the crowd as they throw her into the
          fire.

          ZED

          (APPALLED)
          This is just crazy.
          Maya approaches them but Zed and Oh still don't recognize
          her.

          MAYA
          (eyes downcast)
          The Princess wishes to see you.

          CAIN
          (staring at her cleavage)
          Her wish is my command.

          MAYA
          Not you. Him.
          (points at Zed)

          ZED
          Me? Cool.
          (then, motioning to Oh)
          We're kind of a package deal. Can
          he come with?

          CAIN
          The three of us are inseparable.
          We're like brothers.
          Cain squeezes both their shoulders and gives Maya an
          artificial smile.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                              78.
          Maya ignores Cain and points to Zed and Oh.

          MAYA
          The two of you follow me.

          ZED
          (to Cain)
          I'll try to put in a good word for
          you.
          Cain fumes as Zed and Oh head off with Maya.

          CUT TO:

          47

          47                                                            EXT. PALACE   - LATER

          A SQUAD OF SENTRIES stands guard at the massive iron palace
          gates. A CROWD OF BEGGARS is pressed against the gate
          pleading for food. Zed and Oh approach led by Maya. The
          guards brutally push the beggars aside and they enter.

          48

          48                                                            INT. PALACE   - COURTYARD -- CONTINUOUS

          Maya leads Zed and Oh through the gate and into a beautiful
          atrium where they are met by a fat bald EUNUCH wearing the
          royal livery.

          MAYA
          (to Oh)
          This is Zaftig the Eunuch. You go
          with him.
          Oh is led away by the Eunuch as she takes Zed off in the
          opposite direction.

          OH
          Can't I go with him?

          EUNUCH
          Why? Is he your lover?

          OH
          (laughs at the thought)
          Hah! No? That would be weird.

          LOVERS--
          The Eunuch just shrugs, apparently not that weird to him.
          OH                                                            (cont'd)

          (COVERING)
          So what do you do?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                    79.

          EUNUCH
          I serve the royal family-- little
          of this, little of that. I've been
          a palace eunuch since I was nine
          years old.

          OH
          You've been living here since you
          were nine?
          (looks around, impressed)
          I should look into that. How do
          you get to be a eunuch?

          EUNUCH

          (MATTER-OF-FACT)
          They cut off your testicles.

          OH

          (HORRIFIED)
          What?! What's up with all the
          genital mutilation?

          EUNUCH

          (SHRUGS)
          Trust me, after a while you don't
          even miss them.

          OH

          (EMPHATIC)
          No, I'd miss them-- I'm sure. I
          hardly got to use them yet.
          The Eunuch leads him down the corridor.

          CUT TO:

          49                                                              A SHEEP'S HEART, LIVER AND GUTS   49
          land with a wet splat on a polished marble table.

          INT. PALACE THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME

          The High Priest, an extremely vain, officious, and fussy man,
          still over-dressed in sacramental drag, pushes back his
          sleeves and starts examining the entrails as the King and his
          MINISTERS look on, deeply concerned.

          KING
          Six sacrifices in the last ten days
          and still no rain. What do the
          entrails predict?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             80.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (nervously poking at the
          sheep heart)
          Well, the liver is streaked with
          gray-- that's not a favorable sign--
          but the heart looks good. See how
          nice and red it is here. That's
          always a good omen.

          KING
          What does it mean?

          HIGH PRIEST
          Usually it means that the sheep
          took very good care of itself,
          probably sticking to a high-fiber
          diet of grass and hay.

          KING
          What does it mean for us?

          HIGH PRIEST
          Well, it could mean either a
          surprise visit from a former friend
          or sweetheart-- or that you're
          going on a long sea voyage!
          Wouldn't that be fun?

          KING

          (SCORNFUL)
          How did you become High Priest?

          HIGH PRIEST
          Because I'm your brother?

          PRIME MINISTER
          Perhaps it's time for a new High
          Priest.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (his eyes go wide)
          Perhaps it's not time for a new
          High Priest. Aaaahh!
          He dramatically flings his fingers out at the Prime Minister,
          as if wielding the power of the Gods.
          Nothing happens.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                     (cont'd)
          And let that be a warning to you.
          Next time, I will hurl a lightning
          bolt at your face.

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                                          Official White                            81.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                     (cont'd)

          (CONSIDERS)
          Or a fire-ball.

          PRIME MINISTER
          (ignores him)
          Majesty, there's talk of revolution
          in the streets. Grain and oil are
          scarce, prices are high, starving
          peasants are pouring into the city
          looking for food--

          KING
          Poverty has a bitter taste, but
          it's the flavor they were born to.
          It's the will of the Gods.
          The Queen and Princess Inanna are lounging on cushioned
          divans, listening.

          INANNA

          (BLASE)
          Can the Gods really be so cruel?

          QUEEN
          I don't think that's cruel. It's
          just practical. If everybody was
          rich, who'd wait on us?
          Maya approaches and whispers something to the Princess.

          INANNA
          Good. See that he's bathed and
          dressed, then bring him to me.
          Maya frowns and exits.
          INANNA (cont'd)
          (to the queen)
          This should be amusing.

          CUT TO:

          50                                                              INT. PALACE CORRIDOR - LATER   50

          Maya leads Zed down a grand hallway. Zed is now wearing a
          long flowing robe of silk brocade, fine sandals, and jewelry.
          His hair has been combed and pulled back into a loose
          ponytail. He stops to admire himself in a mirror.

          ZED
          What do you think, ponytail or no
          ponytail? You know what?

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                                        Official White              82.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          I'll start with the ponytail, see
          where the night takes me.
          Maya rolls her eyes and leads Zed to the entrance of the
          Great Hall. Cain and another guard are posted at the door.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          Hey, you made it! What's it like
          inside?

          CAIN

          (POINTED)
          I wouldn't know.- I'm just a guard
          because my "brother" didn't pull
          any strings with his friends in the
          royal court.

          ZED
          Look, first of all, we're not
          actually brothers---

          CAIN
          Just like Abel. I oughta just bash
          your head in--

          ZED
          Hey! You didn't let me finish. As
          soon as I get in there I'm going to
          talk to somebody and get you
          invited, okay?

          CAIN

          (UNCONVINCED)
          Yeah, sure. Have a nice orgy.
          Cain pulls open the big doors and Zed steps through the
          portal. Cain tries to steal peeks inside as the heavy doors
          slam shut.

          CUT TO:

          51                                                            ZED'S POV        51
          A full-scale ORGY is going on in a magnificent hall.
          As Maya leads him into the room, Zed pulls his hair out of
          the ponytail.

          ZED
          Feels like a hair-down kinda scene,
          don't you think?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                          83.

          MAYA
          As you wish.

          (POINTEDLY)
          Be sure to try the fruit.
          Zed looks at her and finally recognizes her.

          ZED
          Maya?! What are you doing here?

          MAYA
          I had no choice. I'm a slave,
          remember?

          ZED
          I was going to rescue you! Really!
          In fact, we came here to find you.

          MAYA
          (not buying it)
          Wait here until you're sent for.

          ZED
          This wasn't my idea, you know.

          MAYA
          Of course not. You were just
          chosen again. Maybe after you and
          the Princess get together you can
          start thinking about someone beside
          yourself.
          She walks off before he can answer.
          Zed shakes his head, looks around the room, then STARTS
          walking past a row of "LIVING STATUES," semi-nude men and
          women on pedestals covered head to toe in gold body paint,
          frozen in heroic postures that show off their beautiful
          bodies.
          Zed looks closely at one beautiful nude "GODDESS", then
          furtively reaches out and fondles her breast. The goddess
          slaps his hand, then resumes her pose.

          GODDESS
          watch it, jerk!

          ZED
          Hey! You're a real girl! That is
          so cool.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             84.
          He moves down the row of living sculptures, mugging at them,
          mock humping, and waving his hands in their faces trying to
          make them move, but they remain frozen.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Amazing!
          He comes to the LAST STATUE and does a double-take. This one
          is wearing only a skimpy cloth diaper and is posed like
          someone waiting for a bus. He is also painted gold, but
          unlike the others, he has a little potbelly and round
          shoulders, and can't seem to hold still for very long,
          shifting his weight uncomfortably and looking around in
          obvious embarrassment.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (recognizing him)
          Oh?
          Oh looks down from his pedestal.

          OH
          (through clenched teeth)
          I'm not supposed to talk. I'm a
          statue.

          ZED
          Yeah, you look so-- gold. How's it
          going?

          OH
          How's it going? I just had my
          whole body painted by a fat guy
          with no balls, and believe me, he
          was very thorough, if you know what
          I mean. How's it going with you?

          ZED
          Not bad. Had a little rub and a
          scrub, now I'm up for some grub.

          OH
          That sounds nice-- for you.

          ZED
          Hey! You'll never guess who's here-
          - Maya! She's working here-- and
          she looks great! But she's kinda
          mad at me.
          Oh scans the great hall looking for her and spots Zed's
          sister Eema, his crush, come into the room carrying a tray of
          food.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                           85.

          OH
          There's Eema!
          Eema has been beautifully groomed and is now dressed as a
          household slave. She stops to serve some rowdy OFFICERS who
          take the opportunity to tease and fondle her. She tries to
          pull away but Sargon, the general, grabs her arm.

          SARGON
          Stand still, wench! I want to see
          what's under that skirt.
          As he starts to lift her hem, she drops the whole tray of
          food on him. His cohorts laugh.

          EEMA
          I'm sorry! It was an accident.

          SARGON
          That was no accident!
          Sargon grabs her and raises his hand to hit her.
          Zed steps in quickly.

          ZED
          You! Slave girl!
          (he pulls her away from

          SARGON)
          I told you to fetch me more wine!
          Apologize to this officer--- now!

          EEMA
          I'm sorry.

          ZED
          Now go-- fetch! Wait by that--
          skinny statue. I'll deal with you
          later.
          As Eema exits, Zed turns to the officers and shrugs.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          Slaves-- what are you gonna do?

          SARGON
          Try using a hot poker. That they
          understand.

          ZED
          Ouch. Helpful hint. I will keep
          that in mind.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                          86.
          Zed bows, then leaves him and joins Eema who is waiting at
          Oh's pedestal.
          Zed                                                          (cont'd)
          What are you doing here?

          EEMA
          We were sold to the palace. But I
          won't serve these people! I'd
          rather die!

          ZED
          Keep that up and you will.

          EEMA
          What are you doing here?
          (notices his clothes)
          Have you joined them?

          OH
          I haven't joined anything.
          (re the gold body paint)
          Does this look like fun?
          They both look accusingly at Zed.

          ZED
          Okay, I know what you're thinking,
          but I'm just checking it out. We
          kept hearing that this place was so
          evil, but now that I look around
          I'm thinking maybe it's not all
          bad. There's a lot to learn here.

          OH
          What? Like human sacrifice?

          ZED
          No! Like the wheel, for instance!
          That's pretty awesome-- the way it
          just goes around in a circle. And
          farming! And metal-- writing,
          money, pottery-- hot baths. Come
          on! Back in the village we thought
          sharpening a stick was a big
          breakthrough.

          EEMA
          (to Oh)
          What happened to him?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                        87.

          ZED
          Look, I think I've been chosen to
          do something great with my life--

          OH
          Here we go again--

          ZED
          --and I don't think it's hunting
          wild pigs and weaving baskets.
          Maya returns for Zed.

          MAYA

          (COOLLY)
          She wants to see you-- now.

          ZED
          I hope you don't think I'm
          interested in her.

          MAYA

          (MIFFED)
          Why would I think that? Just
          because you couldn't take your eyes
          off her--

          ZED
          I'm just using her, Maya! It's
          part of my plan. I'm going to get
          you all out of here as soon as I
          can.

          MAYA

          (SKEPTICAL)
          What's your plan?

          ZED
          (not a clue)
          It's a secret.

          MAYA
          (not buying it)
          Forget it.
          Maya sees A GUARD watching them and reverts to her slave
          attitude.
          MAYA (cont'd)
          (bowing to Zed)
          The Princess awaits you.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                    88.

          ZED
          And I await her.
          (to Oh and Eema)
          You two await me.
          (then confidentially to
          Eema and Oh)
          Stay out of trouble. I'll be back.
          He exits with Maya.

          EEMA
          He has no idea what he's doing,
          does he?

          OH
          I don't know. So much has
          happened. Sometimes I think--
          She walks away.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          (wistfully, to himself)
          I love you.

          52                                                              THE HIGH PRIEST   52
          Lounging on a divan surrounded by YOUNG MEN. Oh walks by
          still painted gold.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (to Oh)
          You there! Golden boy! Rub me
          with oil.
          The High Priest dismisses the young men, then stands and lets
          his rich outer robe fall to the floor. His chest, back and
          shoulders are incredibly hairy.

          OH
          I'd rather not, if you don't mind.
          I'm not really a slave. I'm a
          guard.

          HIGH PRIEST
          Then maybe you'd rather I speak to
          your commander and have you whipped
          to within an inch of your life. Or
          perhaps I whip you myself? How
          would you like that?

          OH
          Are those my choices?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                           89.

          HIGH PRIEST
          I'd say so.
          The High Priest lies back down. Oh looks around, finds a
          pitcher filled with precious oil and dribbles some on the
          High Priest's hairy chest.

          OH
          How's that?

          HIGH PRIEST
          More.

          OH
          (splashes a few more drops
          on him)
          That enough?

          HIGH PRIEST
          (getting angry)
          No! More oil! Much more, you
          insolent dolt!
          Oh pours oil liberally over his chest, back, and shoulders.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                   (cont'd)
          That's good. Now rub it in.

          OH

          (APPALLED)
          With my hands?

          HIGH PRIEST
          Do it!
          Oh grimaces and starts gingerly massaging the oil into his
          hairy chest and shoulders.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                   (cont'd)
          (in ecstasy)
          Mmmmm, I love it. The sweet scent
          of precious oil. The oily--
          oiliness.
          Eema walks by with a pitcher of wine and sees Oh massaging
          the High Priest. She gasps.

          OH

          (EMBARRASSED)
          Eema! This isn't what you think.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                                 90.

          EEMA

          (FLUSTERED)
          No, it's fine. I understand. This
          really explains a lot about you
          that I didn't get before.

          OH
          No, really! I'm just-- rubbing oil
          on this man.
          She exits.

          HIGH PRIEST
          Mnum imam. I have an idea. Why don't
          we go back to my place and see
          what's under all that paint?

          OH

          (DISGUSTED)
          Ughh.

          CUT TO:

          53                                                           INT. PRINCESS'S CHAMBER - NIGHT - MINUTES LATER   53

          Maya ushers Zed into the dimly lit room.

          MAYA
          Good luck.

          ZED

          MAYA--
          She leaves him. A haze of heavily scented incense hangs in
          the air.

          INANNA (O.S.)
          Come to me.
          Zed turns and sees the Princess standing on the terrace.

          54                                                           EXT. GARDEN TERRACE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS          54

          Zed steps out onto the moonlit terrace. He crosses to the
          balustrade and stands beside the Princess, gazing out over
          the twinkling cityscape.

          INANNA
          Beautiful, isn't it? You can see
          Gomorrah just over the hill.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                   91.

          ZED
          I didn't know it was so close.

          INANNA
          They're called the "twin cities."

          ZED
          Looks pretty from up here, but some
          people think God is going to wipe
          them out because they're so evil.

          INANNA
          (toying with him)
          And what do you think? Am I evil?

          ZED
          I don't really know you. But you
          don't look evil.

          PRINCESS
          Do you find me attractive?

          ZED
          Well, yeah. I think you're--
          incredible.

          INANNA
          (moving closer)
          I have body issues.

          ZED
          No, you're perfect. Your face,
          your hair--
          (looking into her eyes)
          Your eyes are like the sea.

          INANNA
          (a beat)
          My eyes are brown.

          ZED
          Well, it's kinda dark. I took a
          shot. I know they're big, though--
          and wet--
          She pulls him close.
          ZED                                   (cont'd)
          Can I ask you one thing? What
          would a girl like you want with a
          guy like me?

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                    92.

          INANNA
          I don't know. I just find you--
          interesting. They say it's the
          will of the gods that some men
          should suffer while others rule--
          that we're all just victims of our
          fate. And I believed that until
          this morning when I saw you
          standing up, alone, in the square.
          And I said to myself, finally
          here's one man who refuses to bow
          down to anything--

          ZED

          UH--
          (considers explaining but
          just lets it go)
          Yeah. That's me.

          INANNA
          Yes, finally a man who has the
          courage to question the order of
          things--- a man chosen by the Gods
          to do something great.

          ZED

          (EXHILARATED)
          That's exactly what I've been
          thinking! You wouldn't believe the
          things that have been happening to
          me lately. I just didn't know why.

          INANNA
          (gets very, very close)
          I know why. To bring you here-- to
          this place-- to me.

          ZED

          (SMITTEN)
          I couldn't agree more. I'm trying
          to agree more, but I can't. That's
          how much I agree.

          INANNA
          Come.
          She takes his hand and leads him away.
          A SHADOWY FIGURE watches them from behind a curtain.

          CUT TO:

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                93.

          55

          55                                                              EXT. THE TEMPLE - NIGHT

          We can see torchlight flickering inside the temple and TWO
          FIGURES moving among the pillars.

          56                                                              INT. THE TEMPLE - SAME TIME   56

          The High Priest is giving Oh a personal tour of the inner
          sanctum. Oh is scrubbed and dressed like a junior priest.

          HIGH PRIEST
          My life is devoted to the service
          of the Gods and the good of the
          people. I take nothing for myself.
          He has a huge gold ring set with precious gems on every
          finger, and a gold tiara on his head studded with rubies and
          emeralds.

          OH
          That's so-- unselfish of you.

          HIGH PRIEST
          Yes, it is. It's just so-- lonely.
          Sometimes i hunger for the touch of
          another human being.

          (COY)
          Here's a riddle: what has two
          thumbs and wants another oil rub?
          (pointing thumbs at

          HIMSELF)
          This-guy.
          Ohquickly changes the subject.

          OH
          So where does that hall lead to?

          HIGH PRIEST
          (his eyes light up)
          Come, I'll show you.
          He takes Oh's arm and leads him down the hail toward a set of
          incredibly impressive doors covered with cuneiform writing
          and arcane religious symbols.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                     (cont'd)
          Behind those doors is the Holy of
          Holies-- the earthly domain of the

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          

                                                94.
          Official White
          HIGH PRIEST                           (cont'd)
          Gods-- a place so ineffably sacred,
          so powerful, that to enter is
          instant death for any mortal.

          OH
          Wow.
          (a long beat)
          So who cleans it?

          HIGH PRIEST
          it needs no cleaning.

          OH
          No, of course not.
          (can't let go of it)
          Kind of makes you wonder though--
          the guys who built it, did they
          just die the minute they finished,
          or did the Gods give them a second
          to get out?

          HIGH PRIEST
          (starting to get annoyed)
          I assume they finished it, then the
          Gods descended.

          OH
          Yeah, that's probably it.
          (another long beat)
          So you're saying we can't go in?

          HIGH PRIEST
          I just told you! To enter is
          instant death! Only I can go in
          and only once a year after very
          elaborate purification rituals and
          days of special prayers and
          offerings.

          OH

          (QUICKLY)
          Right, right, right.

          (BEAT)
          What if we just open the doors and
          stick our heads in?

          HIGH PRIEST
          Fine! Enough! I'm sorry I brought
          it up. Let's go.
          (pushes Oh along)
          Move. Move.
          He shoos him down the hall.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                       95.

          57

          57                                                     INT. TEMPLE   - MOMENTS LATER

          Zed and Princess Inanna stealthily enter the temple.

          ZED
          (looking around nervously)
          What are we doing here?

          INANNA
          I want you to enter the Holy of
          Holies.

          ZED
          Yes! Finally. Now you're talking!
          Should I enter it right here or
          should we go back to your bedroom?
          Does the Holy of Holies like to be
          entered from behind or--?

          INANNA

          (POINTS)
          That's the Holy of Holies-- you
          have to go in there and talk to the
          Gods.

          ZED
          The Gods are in there?

          INANNA
          So they say, but the only one who
          ever goes in is the High Priest.
          They say it's instant death for
          anyone else to enter.

          ZED
          Then why am I going in?

          INANNA

          (IMPATIENT)
          Because you were chosen? If the
          Gods wanted you dead they would
          have killed you already.

          ZED

          RIGHT--

          INANNA
          This is what you've been chosen
          for! To speak to the Gods and
          plead with them not to destroy the
          city. Then come back out and tell
          me what it's like inside.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                        96.

          ZED
          (mulling it over)
          Right-- right. Then again, if the
          rules say--

          INANNA
          Do you always follow the rules?

          ZED
          What is it with chicks always
          wanting guys to break the rules?
          You-all have this bad boy complex----
          She kisses him fiercely on the lips.

          INANNA
          Do this for me.

          ZED
          I'm going in.
          He enters the Holy of Holies. A FIGURE darts between the
          columns and hides in the shadows. A beam of moonlight
          reveals the mark of Cain on his forehead.

          CUT TO:

          58                                                              INT. HOLY OF HOLIES   - CONTINUOUS   58

          Zed steps into the chamber and immediately prostrates
          himself, face down on the floor, arms outstretched in
          supplication. He lies there with his eyes tightly shut,
          expecting to be vaporized any second. A long moment passes
          in total silence. Then he opens his eyes and looks around
          tentatively.
          The inner chamber of the Holy of Holies is a bare room with
          marble walls lit only by shafts of moonlight from skylights
          above.

          ZED
          (takes a deep breath and
          starts improvising)
          Thank you, O-- Merciful ones, for--
          not like-- killing me, and letting
          me receive the, uh, blessing of
          your holy-- godliness.
          He exhales and closes his eyes again, waiting for some divine
          response. Nothing comes.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                               97.
          ZED                                               (cont'd)
          (props himself up on his

          ELBOWS)
          Okay, I don't know the right words--
          so I'm just going to say what I
          have to say-- if that's all right.
          (waits for a response,
          gets none, proceeds)
          I know I haven't always done the
          right thing. Eating the fruit was
          bad, I know that-- and the Cain
          thing-- and I have done somethings
          with women-- I do love the ladies--
          well, you probably know all that
          because you're watching everything--
          (a thought occurs)
          Do you really watch everything?
          That's got to be a little
          disgusting sometimes-- but probably
          pretty hot, too--

          (QUICKLY)
          Not that you would get off on any
          of it-- okay, I'm getting off the
          subject. Anyways, the word is
          you've been considering destroying
          this place. So I'm asking you not
          to-- as a personal favor.

          (NOTHING)
          Feel free to jump in anytime. I
          could use a little guidance here.
          Still no response. He rolls over onto his back.
          ZED                                               (cont'd)
          Look, I know you think this place
          is evil and it kinda is-- I see
          that-- but that's not everybody.
          There are a lot of good people,
          too. So what if there were, like,
          fifty really good people? Would
          you still destroy the city?

          (SILENCE)
          Okay, you're right, that may be a
          reach. How about twenty? I could
          probably get you twenty extremely
          good people if I really looked
          around.

          (SILENCE)
          How about five? Five awesome
          people-- including myself. I
          personally know at least five
          people worth saving. Does that
          sound good?

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                               98.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)

          (NOTHING)
          Hello? A little help? Am I
          getting warm here? Okay, is it me?
          Are you punishing me for stuff I
          did?
          (an insight)
          Or setting me up for what I need to
          do. Or both! Or neither?

          (NOTHING)
          Could you give me some kind of a
          sign-- please-- anything?
          Zed listens but hears only a profound silence. Then a
          revelation. He sits up on the floor.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          Okay, wait. Is that the sign? The
          silence? Is that it?
          (waits for confirmation)
          It is, isn't it! Just this really
          silent-- silence.

          (PONDERING)
          You're not going to tell me what to
          do; it's up to me to decide what's
          right and what's wrong-- right? Is
          that it? You're not going to speak
          to me-- you're going to speak
          through me? If that's right, don't
          say anything.
          (listens for a beat)
          Okay, I read you loud and clear.
          Thank you.
          (an afterthought)
          Oh, and if things don't work out
          with Maya would it be okay with you
          if me and the Princess had a little
          "carnal knowledge"? Not in an evil
          way or anything--
          (he listens; silence)
          Okay! You're right, probably not a
          good idea. Thank you.
          He backs out of the Holy of Holies, bowing all the way.

          CUT TO:

          59

          59                                                            INT. THE TEMPLE - CONTINUOUS

          The doors to the Holy of Holies opens and Zed comes backing
          out, still bowing and muttering. Then he turns and his face
          falls.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                       99.
          The High Priest, the King, the Queen, and a dozen Temple
          Acolytes are staring at him in amazement. Oh stands beside
          the High Priest dressed just like him.

          ZED
          I was just looking for the
          bathroom.

          INANNA

          (INNOCENTLY)
          I told him not to go in.

          HIGH PRIEST

          (SHRIEKS)
          Seize them!

          OH
          (scared, points at Zed)
          Seize him!
          The guards arrest Oh as Cain steps up and takes hold of Zed.

          CAIN

          (SMIRKING)
          Should've invited me to the party.

          CUT TO:

          60

          60                                                              INT. DUNGEON - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

          In the dim torchlight, we see Zed hanging spread-eagle five
          feet off the ground, his arms and legs stretched out wide and
          tightly bound to iron rings imbedded in the stone.
          Oh is shackled to the wall beside him, hanging upside down.
          They hear the faint scream of a man being tortured somewhere
          deep in the prison.

          ZED
          I wish I was upside down. Looks
          fun.
          Oh won't talk to him.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          So this is it? We're not friends
          anymore? After all I've done for
          you?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                           100.

          OH
          What have you done for me? I've
          been attacked by a cougar, I've
          fallen down a mountain, I almost
          had the tip of my thingy cut off,
          I've been greasing up the High
          Priest all night, and now I'm
          hanging upside down in a dungeon.
          And I have to pee real bad. All
          because of you. You call yourself
          a friend? Name one good thing
          you've done for me.

          ZED
          I've helped you come out of your
          shell.

          OH
          (in distress)
          I really have to pee--

          ZED
          Listen, I know I'm not perfect, and
          I may have made a few wrong turns,
          but you have to understand-- I'm a
          chosen. That's a lot of
          responsibility -- you can't even
          imagine.

          OH

          (ANGRY)
          The only one who thinks you're
          chosen is you, so shut up already!

          ZED

          (STUNG)
          Okay, be mad, but I'm going to get
          us out of here, if it's the last
          thing I do.
          Zed starts frantically yanking on his shackles to no avail.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          That was just my first idea-- and
          I'm also accepting ideas.

          OH

          (SHOUTS)
          Guard! I have to pee! Now!
          Seriously!
          (can't hold it anymore)
          Oh, no--

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                       101.
          Because he's upside down, the streams runs down his stomach,
          over his chest, down his neck, onto his chin and over his
          face.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          I hate you.

          CUT TO:

          61

          61                                                              EXT. PUBLIC SQUARE - EARLY MORNING

          A curious, jeering MOB is gathering as Zed and Oh, in
          shackles, are led by a SQUAD OF GUARDS to a raised platform
          in the middle of the square.
          The heavy pounding of martial drums silences the crowd. Cain
          presides over the execution. He addresses the crowd.

          CAIN
          For the crimes of blasphemy--
          (the crowd grumbles its

          DISAPPROVAL)

          HERESY--
          (grumble, grumble)

          CONSPIRACY--
          (serious grumbling)

          SODOMY--
          (admiring oohs and aahs)
          And the murder of my brother Abel--

          ZED
          Oh, come on!

          CAIN
          Shut up! For these and other
          crimes they may not actually have
          done yet but we're pretty sure they
          were thinking about, the prisoners
          will be stoned to death.
          The crowd roars as GUARDS stationed around the square pull
          canvas covers off big baskets of rocks and the people rush to
          grab stones to throw.
          Zed and Oh instinctively move closer to each other.

          PALACE BALCONY
          The King, Queen, High Priest and Royal Ministers observe the
          stoning from their vantage point above the square. Princess
          Inanna refuses to look.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             102.

          KING
          Observe, my dear. It seems the
          least you could do, since it was
          you who lured him to his death.
          She reluctantly turns and looks at Zed.

          INANNA
          I didn't intend for this to happen.

          THE SQUARE
          The people move in and surround the platform on all sides,
          baseball-size rocks in their hands.

          CAIN
          (to Zed and Oh)
          Anything to say before the sentence
          is carried out?

          ZED
          (to the crowd)
          I just want to say this is really
          messed up--

          CAIN

          OKAY--

          (SHOUTS)

          STONE THEM!
          The people fling their rocks with all their might.
          Zed and Oh duck.
          The rocks fly over their heads and hit people in the crowd on
          the opposite sides, several bystanders taking painful hits in
          the head, some falling down unconscious.
          Cain notes the impracticality of having people throw rocks
          from all directions.
          CAIN                                                            (cont'd)
          Okay! Stop! Halt! Hold it! This
          isn't working.

          ZED
          Can I make a suggestion?

          CAIN

          (IRKED)
          What?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             103.

          ZED
          Why don't you just pick one person
          to throw?
          The crowd thinks that's not a bad idea and murmurs agreement.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (pressing the advantage)
          In fact, don't you think it would
          be fair for us to get to pick the
          person who stones us?
          Cain looks doubtful, but the crowd thinks this is eminently
          fair.

          CROWD
          (some eagerly raising
          their hands and waving
          like school children)
          Yes! Ooh, me! Pick me! Me!

          ON THE BALCONY
          The King grabs Sargon.

          KING
          (re Cain)
          What is that idiot doing?

          IN THE SQUARE
          Zed spots a good candidate in the crowd.

          ZED
          We pick him!
          Cain points at a BIG GUY, heavily muscled, eagerly waving his
          hand.

          CAIN
          Him?

          ZED
          No, next to him!
          He points at a BOY, about nine years old and not very big.

          CAIN
          He's just a kid!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             104.

          ZED
          So? You got something against
          kids?
          Zed plays the crowd which starts booing in disapproval.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          This guy hates kids!

          CROWD
          Yeah! What's he got against kids?
          Children are the future! Give the
          kid a shot! The kid! The kid!
          On the balcony, the King shifts uncomfortably, intimidated by
          the power of the mob. He nods to Sargon who signals to Cain.

          CAIN
          All right! All right! We'll try
          it. Kid! Grab a rock.
          The boy picks up a good-size rock.
          Zed turns to Oh.

          ZED
          Good thinking, huh?
          They turn to face the boy, ready to dodge when he throws.
          The boy winds up and fires a major league fastball that
          smacks Oh right on the forehead. The crowd cheers.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Holy shit! That kid's got an arm!

          OH

          (DAZED)
          I think he hit me.
          The boy fires again.
          Oh spins and tries to duck but takes the rock right on the
          head.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          Hey! There's two of us!
          The crowd cheers and pats the kid on the back.

          CAIN
          Okay, everybody on this side now!
          On the count of three! One-- two--

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                            105.

          ZED
          Wait! I have a question for the
          King!
          The crowd goes silent. All eyes turn and look up to the
          palace balcony.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          (shouts to the King)
          Why didn't I die in the Holy of
          Holies?
          On the balcony, everyone is totally stopped by his question.
          One by one they all look to the High Priest who seems to be
          stumped.
          In the square, the crowd starts muttering. Zed seizes the
          initiative.
          ZED                                                            (cont'd)
          I entered the Holy of Holies and,
          lo, I did not die! Why? Because I
          am chosen by the Gods!

          PEOPLE IN THE CROWD
          He is chosen! He is the Chosen
          One. The Chosen One!
          Zed gives Oh a look: "See? I told you."

          THE CROWD
          (starts chanting)
          Spare the Chosen One! Spare the
          Chosen One! Spare the Chosen One!

          OH
          And his friend! Don't forget his
          friend!
          On the balcony, the King and his ministers hastily confer
          with the High Priest.

          KING
          Could it be? Is he truly chosen?

          HIGH PRIEST
          I don't-- I suppose it's possible-
          I'd have to examine some new

          INTESTINES--

          KING
          Imbecile!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                            106.

          PRIME MINISTER
          Majesty, with respect, whether he's
          chosen or not is no longer the
          issue. To kill him now, given the
          public mood, could inflame the
          situation enough to prompt a
          radical "regime change," if you
          take my meaning.
          The King looks grimly at his ministers, all of whom have lean
          and hungry looks.
          Princess Inanna smiles contemptuously at him.

          CUT TO:

          62                                                              SARGON

          62
          addressing the crowd in the square.

          SARGON
          By order of the King, the sentence
          has been commuted.
          The crowd cheers. Zed and Oh exchange hopeful looks.

          CAIN

          (PLAINTIVE)
          Can't we just stone them a little?

          SARGON
          It is the judgement of our most
          merciful King that the prisoners
          are to be enslaved to toil at hard
          labor until they die of exhaustion
          or starvation.

          ZED
          (exuberant fist pump)
          Yes!

          CUT TO:

          63                                                              EXT. THE ZIGGURAT - DAY   63

          Oh is up to his knees in a mud pit, trampling straw into the
          thick mud. A Guard cracks a bullwhip which flicks painfully
          across his shoulders.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                107.

          OH
          Okay, you think that actually makes
          anybody work harder? It just makes
          them resent you. Is that what you
          want?

          GUARD
          (whips him again)
          Faster!

          OH
          Can I just ask when lunch is?
          The whip lashes out again.
          Oh glowers at him and steps up the pace.

          64                                                           THE BRICK YARD   64
          Marlak and Enmebaragesi are stacking bricks when zed
          approaches.

          ZED
          (greets them)
          Hey! Boys! Long time no see.
          They glance up, but ignore him.
          ZED                                                          (cont'd)
          Don't tell me you're still mad
          about Maya. That's so over. I
          have a thing going with the
          princess now-- well, almost had a
          thing. I'm a slave now-- just like
          you.

          MARLAK
          No. You're not just like me.

          ZED
          Okay. We do have our differences--
          like about a cup and half of brain
          tissue-- but that doesn't mean we
          can't work together.
          Another GUARD approaches and whacks Marlak with his stick.

          GUARD #2
          Take those bricks to the top. The
          masons are waiting.

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                           108.
          Marlak and Enmebaragesi glower at the guard as they pick up
          ropes and harness themselves to a cart loaded with bricks.
          GUARD #2                                                      (cont'd)
          (to Zed)
          You! Help them!
          He grabs another rope harness off the cart and throws it to
          Zed.

          ZED
          You know, I'd like to, but I did
          something to my neck--
          (massages his neck)
          I must've slept on it funny-- those
          dungeon pillows are like rocks--
          well, they are rocks-- so I should
          probably take it easy or I'll be no
          damn good for work tomorrow.

          GUARD #2
          (strikes him across the
          back with his stick)
          I said move!

          ZED
          Okay! But I should tell you, this
          isn't really my area. I'm just on
          a break from the mud department--
          The Guard draws his short sword and raises it over Zed.

          GUARD #2
          One more word and you die--

          ZED
          (putting on the harness)
          Okay, okay. I'm going.
          (to Marlak and

          ENMEBARAGESI)
          Okay, boys, on the count of three.
          One-- two-- three!
          Marlak and Enmebaragesi lunge against the ropes, but Zed
          makes no effort to pull. They glare at him.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          Learned that from Maya. Good
          trick, huh? Okay, together this
          time. Go!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                     109.
          They pull together and the heavy cart starts to move.

          CUT TO:

          65                                                              EXT. TOP OF THE ZIGGURAT - LATER   65

          Zed, Marlak and Enmebaragesi haul the heavy cart of bricks to
          the very top of the tower.
          TWO BRICKLAYERS are working on the wall. Zed leans against
          the wall next to them tb rest.

          ZED
          How high you guys think we're going
          with this?

          BRICKLAYER ONE
          Up to Heaven, I guess. That's how
          tall they usually build 'em.

          ZED
          (looking up)
          That's ambitious.

          BRICKLAYER TWO
          We worked on the Tower of Babel.
          Now that was a ziggurat.

          BRICKLAYER ONE
          Incredible erection.
          Zed looks down at his crotch.

          ZED

          (MODESTLY)
          That's nothing. You should see it
          when I'm excited.

          BRICKLAYER ONE
          The tower.

          ZED
          Oh, right, the tower. Incredible
          erection.
          (snickers to himself)

          BRICKLAYER ONE
          See, the Egyptians are working on
          an entirely different concept.
          Four sides, slanting walls, pointy
          top.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                  110.

          BRICKLAYER TWO
          Like a pyramid?

          BRICKLAYER ONE
          Exactly.

          BRICKLAYER TWO
          Wow. Far out. Yet timeless in a
          way.
          A SLAVE CHILD approaches with a water bucket.

          SLAVE CHILD
          (to Zed)
          Want some water?
          As the child offers him the ladle, Zed recognizes her.

          ZED
          You're from the village, aren't
          you?
          The child nods.
          ZED                                                         (cont'd)
          I bet you wish you were back there
          right now, don't you.
          The child nods again.
          ZED                                                         (cont'd)
          Well, don't give up. You're going
          to get home someday.
          Marlak kicks Zed from behind, knocking him over.

          MARLAK
          (standing over him)
          Who's going to take her there? The
          Chosen One?
          Marlak kicks gravel and dirt in Zed's face. Zed just lies
          there and takes it, feeling like he's failed everyone.
          Then he hears the beating of drums and trumpet fanfares
          coming from the temple square below.

          CUT TO:

          66                                                          EXT. THE MUD PITS   - SAME TIME   66

          Oh and the other slaves are mustered by the guards.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                                   111.

          GUARD
          Get in line! Now! Move!

          OH
          Where're we going?

          GUARD
          To watch the sacrifice. The King
          demands it.

          OH
          Is that compulsory? Because I saw
          one when I first got here and it
          made me a little sick--
          The guard's whip catches him across the back.
          OH                                                             (cont'd)
          Ow! Why don't you try using your
          words for a change?

          CUT TO:

          67                                                             EXT. TEMPLE SQUARE - CONTINUOUS   67

          The square is filling up with people. The ROYAL PROCESSION
          is moving to the seats of honor to watch the sacrifice.
          Cain is now among the Royal Guard having been promoted for
          his treachery. He bows and helps the Queen to her seat.

          CAIN
          (leering seductively)
          At your service, my lady. Anytime,
          anywhere.

          QUEEN

          (FLIRTATIOUS)
          There's a depraved thought. You're
          so delightfully low. Absolute
          filth.

          CAIN

          (SUAVELY)
          Thank you, your majesty.
          He touches his tongue to the tip of his nose and waggles his
          eyebrows.
          The King arrives with Sargon to loud booing from the crowd.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                        112.

          KING
          Are they booing me? How dare they!

          CAIN
          Your Highness, with all due
          respect, those were "Woos." They
          love you. They were "wooing" you.
          The King looks doubtfully at the hostile crowd.

          SARGON
          All is in readiness, Majesty.

          INANNA
          (glares at the King)
          What now? More virgins to
          sacrifice?

          KING
          Yes, two, followers of the Chosen
          One, discovered by this loyal
          soldier.
          Cain bows to the King.

          CAIN
          Just doing my duty.

          KING
          And one more to demonstrate our own
          faith and charity.
          The King stands and makes a proclamation loud enough for
          everyone to hear.
          KING                                                       (cont'd)
          In supplication to the Gods, for
          the love of the People, we offer a
          humble sacrifice to the sacred
          temple fire-- our own step-
          daughter, the Princess Inanna!
          The crowd gasps.
          KING                                                       (cont'd)
          (to Inanna)
          For the good of the people.

          QUEEN
          (stands in protest)
          You wouldn't dare!

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                                   113.

          KING
          Wouldn't I? If you like, I could
          arrange for you to join her.
          The Queen slowly sits back down.
          KING                                                            (cont'd)
          (to Inanna)
          How long did you think I'd tolerate
          your insolence?
          (to Sargon)
          Burn her.-
          Sargon and Cain seize Inanna, but she shrugs them off and
          rises with dignity.

          INANNA
          I'll see you all in Hell.

          CUT TO:

          68                                                              THE GREAT STONE IDOL             68
          The flames are starting to build inside the idol's mouth.

          69                                                              EXT. TEMPLE SQUARE - SAME TIME   69

          Oh and the slaves are confined behind a barrier, watched by a
          squad of guards, waiting for the ceremony to start.
          THE TEMPLE DOORS open slowly, and the High Priest appears
          holding a long jewelled staff.
          Oh turns to the EDOMITE SLAVE next to him.

          OH
          (casually name-dropping)
          See the High Priest? I know him.
          Dear friend of mine.

          THE TEMPLE
          Now the procession of SACRIFICIAL VIRGINS is led out by the
          HIGH PRIESTESS. Maya and Eema are among them, their hands
          tied. They look like they've been drugged.
          Oh spots Eema and Maya among the virgins.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                        114.

          OH

          (PANICKED)
          That's Eema! And Maya! I know
          them!

          EDOMITE SLAVE

          (SARCASTIC)
          I guess you know everybody, don't
          you.
          Oh shoulders his way right up to the barrier where a BIG
          GUARD stops him with a spear to his neck.

          BIG GUARD
          That's far enough, slave.
          Oh stops right there, frustrated and frightened.

          THE TEMPLE
          Inanna is led out last, now also having been drugged.

          70                                                              TOP OF THE ZIGGURAT   70
          Zed, Marlak and the sharp-eyed Enmebaragesi look down, trying
          to see what's going on.

          ENMEBARAGESI
          They're bringing out the women.

          ZED

          (AMAZED)
          How are you seeing that far?

          ENMEBARAGESI
          I see your sister, Eema--

          TOP OF THE ZIGGURAT

          ZED

          (SQUINTING)
          It's Maya!

          CUT TO:

          71                                                              THE TEMPLE            71
          The drums and trumpets kick up the tempo and the High Priest
          starts leading the virgins to the idol's fiery mouth.
          Oh pushes against the barrier, restrained by the guard.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                        115.

          OH
          We have to do something! Somebody
          has to stop it.
          (turning to the other

          SLAVES)
          We can't let them do this!
          The slaves start to mutter. The guards draw their swords and
          heft their spears, now on high alert.

          CUT TO:

          72                                                              TOP OF THE ZIGGURAT   72
          Zed looks around desperately, trying to figure out what to
          do.

          ZED
          (to Marlak)
          I have to get down there.

          GUARD #2

          (SNORTS)
          Over my dead body.

          MARLAK
          All right.
          Without a moment's hesitation, Marlak grabs him and tosses
          him off the top of the ziggurat. He screams all the way
          down.

          ZED
          Wow. Who saw that coming?
          Thanks, Marlak.

          MARLAK
          Now what?
          Zed looks around quickly, grabs the end of a long coiled rope
          attached to a big pulley, and hands Marlak the other end.

          ZED
          (looping the rope around
          his waist)
          Lower me down.
          Without waiting for a response, Zed bravely jumps off the top
          of the ziggurat holding the rope.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                   116.
          Marlak looks at the rope in his hands, pulls it a little and
          sees that it's not attached to the rope Zed was holding.

          CUT TO:

          ZED
          He's descending rapidly, rappelling off the side of the
          ziggurat. He looks up, expecting Marlak to belay him and
          slow him down.

          ZED

          (CALLING)
          Any time now, Marlak!
          Marlak and Enmebaragesi watch his descent, dumbly interested
          in what happens next.
          Zed sees he's not slowing down and tries to swing himself
          onto one of the upper levels of the ziggurat. However, when
          he swings in, he hits a cart loaded with bricks and bounces
          off painfully.

          THE BRICK CART
          The sudden jolt dislodges the wheel chock that was holding
          the cart on the sloping ramp of the tower. The cart starts
          to roll down the ramp, gathering speed as it careens toward
          the edge.

          CUT TO:

          73                                                             THE HIGH PRIEST   73
          He raises his staff and invokes the Gods.

          HIGH PRIEST
          We implore the great Gods of heaven
          to show us a sign that we may honor
          your divine will and be worthy of
          your blessing.

          CUT TO:

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                 117.

          74                                                              THE ZIGGURAT   74
          The brick cart explodes through the scaffolding on the side
          of the ziggurat and sails into the air.

          CUT TO:

          THE ROYAL ENCLOSURE
          Everybody turns at the sound of the crash and looks up at the
          ziggurat.

          CUT TO:

          THE BRICK PITS
          The NASTY GUARD who whipped Oh earlier glances up and is
          instantly crushed by a ton of falling bricks.

          THE ZIGGURAT
          Zed is still descending as the broken scaffolding starts to
          give way.

          TEMPLE SQUARE
          The whole crowd watches in amazement as the 250                 foot
          scaffolding slowly collapses and crashes to the ground,
          bringing tons of debris with it, sending up a great cloud of
          dust.

          THE HIGH PRIEST
          He looks shocked.

          OH
          He seizes the opportunity.

          OH
          A sign! It's a sign! The Chosen
          One comes!
          The other slaves and people in the crowd pick up his
          excitement.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                             118.

          CROWD
          The Chosen One! A sign from the
          Gods!

          THE HIGH PRIEST
          He doesn't quite know how to respond to the growing fervor of
          the crowd.

          HIGH PRIEST
          Yes! Well and truly, the Gods are
          with us--
          The crowd drowns him out.

          75                                                              THE BASE OF THE ZIGGURAT   75
          A guard is standing there staring at the rubble of the
          scaffolding as Zed comes screaming down the side of the
          ziggurat and lands right on top of him. Zed quickly strips
          the unconscious guard of his weapons, starts to run off,
          stops, comes back and grabs the guard's helmet, then takes
          off running to the temple square.

          CUT TO:

          76                                                              THE ALTAR                  76
          The High Priest is getting frantic now.

          HIGH PRIEST
          Burn them! Now!
          He grabs Maya and starts dragging her toward the gaping mouth
          of the idol and the raging fire within. She struggles but is
          too drugged to put up much resistance. He grabs the
          sacramental pitcher of oil and starts sloppily anointing her.
          HIGH PRIEST                                                     (cont'd)

          (RUSHING)
          May the balm of this healing oil
          soothe your journey through the
          sacred fire!

          (DESPERATELY)
          Don't fight it! It's the will of
          the Gods!
          Then, a voice from above.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             119.

          ZED

          (SHOUTS)
          I don't think so!
          Zed is standing atop the idol's head, brandishing a sword and
          shield.

          MAYA
          She sees him and starts to revive.

          MAYA
          Zed!

          THE HIGH PRIEST
          looks up, unable to hear Zed over the crowd noise.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (cupping his ear)
          What did you say?

          ZED

          (SHOUTS)
          I said, 'I don't think so!'

          HIGH PRIEST
          (shakes his head)
          Still not getting it.
          Zed rolls his eyes in frustration and starts tentatively
          climbing down from the top of the idol. He jumps the last
          few feet and lands right in front of the fire, blocking the
          High Priest's way.

          ZED
          I Said, 'I don't think so.'

          HIGH PRIEST

          (CONFUSED)
          You don't think what?

          ZED
          Whatever that last thing you said
          was.

          HIGH PRIEST

          (THINKS)
          I forgot.

          (SHOUTS)
          Guards!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                            120.
          Guards rush toward Zed from all sides, but he fights like a
          demon, slashing, spinning, stabbing, fending off their blows
          with his shield.
          Oh is inspired by Zed's courage.

          OH
          (to the Edomite slave)
          I know him, too.
          Oh springs into action, attacking the big guard in front of
          him. The other slaves see that and start fighting with their
          guards, a genuine slave revolt.

          THE CROWD
          Guards start moving to help their comrades, but the spirit of
          insurrection takes hold of the crowd and people start
          grappling with the guards.
          A PLATOON OF REINFORCEMENTS comes double-timing into the
          square.
          Suddenly, A STOOPED OLD MAN throws off his cloak and pulls a
          sword. It's Abraham!

          ABRAHAM
          Death to the idolators!
          Abraham's small army of HEBREWS reveal themselves, draw their
          weapons and attack the reinforcements.
          The last Hebrew to unrobe is Isaac, who just stands there
          observing the growing chaos.

          ISAAC
          (shaking his head)
          Just fucking nuts.

          77                                                              MARLAK AND ENMEBARAGESI   77
          They come running into the battle swinging clubs, randomly
          bashing heads of soldiers and innocent civilians alike.
          Cain sees Marlak and stands his ground.

          CAIN
          Tough guy, huh? You want a piece
          of me? Get ready to have your head
          bashed in!

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                               121.
          As Cain raises his truncheon, Marlak HEAD-BUTTS him.
          CAIN                                                            (cont'd)
          (nose bleeding, stunned)
          Nice move!
          He passes out and goes down.

          78                                                              THE KING     78
          He starts to panic at the full-scale revolt and rises
          nervously. His ministers surround him, he thinks to protect
          him.

          KING
          I knew I could depend on your
          loyalty.
          The ministers all draw daggers from their robes and move in
          for the kill.
          KING                                                            (cont'd)

          (MUTTERS)
          Assholes.
          He falls to their flashing knives.

          79                                                              THE TEMPLE   79
          Oh fights his way to the temple stairs, runs up and confronts
          a PRIEST who is trying to drag Eema away. He fights with
          very little skill but tremendous energy, finally overwhelming
          the guard and grabbing Eema.

          OH
          (suddenly shy again)
          Hello, Eema.

          EEMA
          (still a little dazed)
          Oh?
          He stares at her full red lips and big blue eyes.

          OH
          (suddenly forceful)
          Eema, you're my woman! You hear
          me?

          EEMA
          Okay.

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                                    122.

          OH
          Really? It's okay?
          He pulls her into an embrace and kisses her hard on the
          mouth. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Oh sees a guard
          rushing at him. Oh whirls and falls off the platform,
          accidentally cutting the guards legs out from under him.

          80                                                              THE HIGH PRIEST   80
          While Zed is busy with the guards, the High Priest pulls Maya
          toward the fire.
          Zed sees him, finishes the last of the guards, and starts
          slowly moving toward the High Priest who starts backing away
          until he sees Oh moving toward him from the other side. He
          holds the helpless Maya close to the flames.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (screaming and crying)
          Keep away!

          ZED
          Let her go.

          HIGH PRIEST
          (his mascara running)
          No! The Gods demand a sacrifice!
          And you ruined it!
          He wrestles Maya even closer to the fire.

          ZED
          (trying to keep him calm)
          Why don't we just sacrifice
          something small-- a rabbit maybe.
          Or a duck. That'd be good, don't
          you think?

          HIGH PRIEST

          (SCREAMS)
          No! A duck would not be good!

          OH                                                              (U.S.)
          Then how about this?
          The High Priest turns to Oh.
          Oh is holding the big sacramental pitcher.
          OH                                                              (cont'd)
          More oil?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             123.
          He splashes the High Priest with a gallon of oil, soaking him
          from head to toe. As the oil hits the High Priest, Zed
          dashes across and snatches Maya from his grasp.
          The High Priest spins around in a rage, his long robes wrap
          around his legs hobbling him, he totters on his high platform
          shoes, loses his balance and gets too close to the idol's
          fiery mouth. Totally drenched in oil, he bursts into flame
          like a human torch, screams, and staggers right into the
          mouth of the furnace.

          HIGH PRIEST

          (SCREAMS)
          Hot!

          TEMPLE SQUARE
          Everyone goes silent, stunned by the incredible turn of
          events. All eyes turn to Zed and Oh, now standing before
          them on the center stage of the temple.

          ZED AND OH
          They look at each other. Someone has to say something.
          Finally, Zed clears his throat.

          ZED
          I'm the, uh, Chosen One, I guess,
          and on behalf of, well, the whole
          city, I want to thank the High
          Priest for his incredible
          sacrifice. That was really
          something, wasn't it?
          He starts clapping, then Oh starts clapping, and soon all the
          people in the square are applauding.
          At that moment a single drop of rain falls and hits Zed in
          the eye. He looks up, a few more drops, then a hard steady
          rain starts to fall.
          The people all look up in awe, then someone cheers and they
          all roar in celebration. Then the rain stops as suddenly as
          it started. The cheers die away, and confused, dissatisfied
          muttering begins.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          (jumping in quickly)
          People! Friends! Sodomites!
          Okay, that was a little confusing,
          wasn't it?

          (MORE)

          

          

          

          
                                                                        Official White              124.
          ZED                                                           (cont'd)
          Was that a sign from God? Wasn't
          it a sign? What's the deal? We
          all want to know. But I'm not sure
          anybody really knows-- and I'd be
          real suspicious of people who say
          they do. If I've learned one
          thing, it's this: the world and
          everything in it is a miracle. And
          what that miracle means is for each
          and every one of us to figure out
          for himself. Are the Gods going to
          destroy us? Maybe-- I don't know--
          I guess it's possible. But if we
          keep going the way we are, they
          won't have to. We're doing a
          pretty good job of destroying
          ourselves. So maybe we should all
          just go home now, and think about
          what happened-- and be very, very
          good to each other. I know I'm
          going to try.
          (raises his hand in salute
          to the people)
          Peace.
          The crowd stares at him blankly. Nobody knows what to make
          of it all. Then Marlak shouts loud enough for all to hear.

          MARLAK
          All hail the Chosen One!
          With that the crowd explodes into rousing cheers.
          In the midst of the crowd, Abraham looks around and scowls.

          ABRAHAM
          What am I? Chopped liver?
          At the altar, Maya, revived now, embraces Zed.

          MAYA
          You're incredible, you know that?

          ZED
          That's what I've been trying to
          tell you.
          Zed and Maya, Oh and Eema stand there basking in the
          gratitude of the people as Inanna looks on.

          DISSOLVE TO:

          

          

          

          
          Official white                                                                                              125.

          81                                                              EXT. GATES OF THE CITY - A FEW DAYS LATER   81

          A caravan is assembling, making ready to leave the city.
          Marlak, Enmebaragesi, Maya, Eema and the other villagers are
          there, as well as a great number of freed slaves and Hebrews.
          Isaac is checking out Maya's breasts.

          ISAAC
          Hey, babe. Ever made it with a
          circumcised guy?
          Marlak grunts at him and reaches for his knife.
          ISAAC                                                           (cont'd)

          (BACKPEDALING)
          Is she with you? I did not realize
          that. Sorry.
          Marlak and Maya cross to Zed who is loading a packhorse.
          Marlak looks at him for a long moment then punches him hard
          on the shoulder.

          MARLAK

          (GRUDGING)
          You did good.
          Zed waits for more, but nothing comes.

          ZED
          (rubbing his shoulder)
          Well said, Marlak. You really have
          a way with words.
          They clasp hands.

          MARLAK
          We'll tell stories about you around
          the fire.

          ZED
          Not much to tell, is there? Just
          an average guy who saw his destiny
          and had the courage to defy a
          powerful empire. No big deal.
          Oh is at the front of the caravan, giving orders, but no one
          is listening to him. Zed joins him.
          ZED                                                             (cont'd)
          Everybody ready?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                          126.

          OH

          (WORRIED)
          Yeah, just about-- I guess so. The
          Hebrews are going to lead us to the
          sea and we can get boats from
          there. We can trade all this stuff
          everybody gave us for the trip
          home.

          (NERVOUS)
          I don't think I should be the
          leader. Nobody's listening to me.

          EEMA
          (by his side)
          I'll listen to you.
          Oh swells up with pride.

          OH
          (turns to Zed)
          Come back to the village sometime.
          Zed nods, they shake hands, then they embrace. Stifling a
          tear, Oh breaks away and whips the lead camel.
          OH                                                           (cont'd)
          (shouting at camel)
          Hee-ya!
          (beat, quietly to camel)
          Come on. People are watching.
          The camel looks at him and slowly lumbers off.
          Oh sighs gratefully and signals the caravan to follow.
          As the great caravan moves off, Zed is left standing there
          with nothing but a long staff, and a bundle on the ground
          beside him to which is tied his sword, shield and helmet.
          Maya joins him.

          MAYA
          Where will you go now?

          ZED
          Might head down to Egypt. I hear
          it's a happening kinda place.

          MAYA
          Are you going alone?

          ZED
          Not necessarily. You want to come?

          

          

          

          
          Official White                                                             127.

          MAYA
          I'll get my things.
          She gestures off and he sees a small train of camels and
          horses loaded with a ton of her personal possessions.
          MAYA (cont'd)
          The Princess gave me a few gifts
          when she freed us.

          ZED
          Traveling light, huh? Okay, here
          we go.

          (POINTS)
          To the west!

          MAYA
          (correcting him)
          That's west.

          ZED
          I knew that. Just wanted to see if
          you did.
          Zed grins and they start walking, passing a small herd of
          sheep and goats, tended by VEILED WOMEN, going in the
          opposite direction.
          As THE LAST OF THE SHEPHERD WOMEN passes, we notice something
          masculine about her build and posture. Zed nods politely to
          her, but she averts her eyes and turns away from him.

          CAIN
          (in a high unconvincing
          woman's voice)
          Peace--- brother.
          zed does a double take at the voice, shrugs, and walks off
          with Maya-- as a torrential rain begins to fall.


                                      THE END