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Funny Monologues - Male

Top 5 Funny Monologues for Men (click link to view full content)

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1) The Bachelor's Monologue -

To wed, or not to wed;--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in a man to suffer
The slings and sorrows of that blind young archer;
Or fly to arms against a host of troubles,
And at the altar end them. To woo--to wed--
No more; and by this step to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand hopes and fears
The single suffer--'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be...

2) The Casket Comedy - I do believe it was Love that first devised the torturer's profession here on earth. It's my own experience--no need to look further--that makes me think so, for in torment of soul no man rivals me, comes near me. I'm tossed around, bandied about, goaded, whirled on the wheel of love, done to death, poor wretch that I am! I'm torn, torn asunder, disrupted, dismembered--yes, all my...

3) Dialogues of the Dead - You missed out, Mr. Bean—the golden years were really something! I could do what I liked—there were still plenty of beautiful women and fine bottles of wine to enjoy. I became known for my extravagant parties. Oh, I never paid a penny out of my own pocket. All of these things were gifts, you see, from my many admirers. Only the...

4) The Man Who Married a Dumb Wife - My wife is dumb. Quite dumb. I admit, I noticed it before we were married. I couldn't help noticing it, of course, but it didn't seem to make so much difference to me then as it does now. I considered her beauty, and her property, and thought of nothing but the advantages of the match and the happiness I should have with her. But now these matters seem less important, and I do wish she could talk; that would be a real intellectual pleasure for me, and, what's more...

5) The Spellin' Bee -

I never shall furgit the night when father hitched up Dobbin,
An' all us youngsters clambered in an' up the road went bobbin'
To school where we was kep' at work in every kind o' weather,
But where that night a spellin'-bee was callin' us together.
'Twas one of heaven's banner nights, the stars was all a-glitter,
The moon was shinin' like the...


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