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Man-ologues (monologues for men) Monologue

Man-ologues (monologues for men) by Richard Miller
Character: Warran
Gender: Male
Age (range): 40s
Style: Comedy
Length: 2 minutes


I Like the way women smell. They make themselves like candy and chocolates. There is a woman where I work who always smells live vanilla. All I can think of when she passes by me is those chocolate covered vanilla twists, the kind you put in the freezer before you eat them. Other women smell like flowers, I want to inhale them. Once I dated a beautiful black woman. We went to a party and danced a slow dance. She wore a dress with bare sholders... she smelled like candy... so I licked her. She pushed me back and said what are you doing? I said you look like chocolate, I wanted to see if you taste that way. She made a face and walked away. Why do women do that? Why do they go to the trouble, the time and expense to make themselves like a treat when you can't have any? I'll tell you why I'm here... I started to see a woman whom I care about, but to me she smells like Snickers. Snickers are chocolate covered peanuts with nougat and caramel... that's just not fair.