|Original by Wayne Winston|
I used to think that life was so easy. I had it all. I can do it all. Got good grades in school. It was like, welcome to my world. Everyone use to say I was the BOMB! But I knew it wasn't all about me. My moms made sure I was on top. My pops didn't do much as far as my school was concerned. Between two jobs, taking care of my two little brothers, and a paying rent... as long as he saw A's and B's on my report card.... Noooo Problem!
Then, all of a sudden... something changed. My friends started trippin'. Everyone I used to hang with were dropping out of school. There were girls who were the center of attention. Now they're having babies! I walked past my grandmother's old church. It had graffiti all over one of the walls. My cousin just turned 16, talking about some GED program.
I'd used to think that some of those headlines and news reports were all that. I wanted to know what my peeps were doing. Then all of a sudden, I'm looking at Rodney King? Crown Heights? Church Burnings? I asked my moms what was up with that! All she wanted to do was pray. I even got to see that Million Man March. So much going on in this country.
Then it all clicked. I went to visit my Grandmother in Mississippi this past summer. BOY, was this a summer vacation I'd never forget. Mississippi! Need I say more?! She gave me an earful. Even told me this story about some old white man down the road from her. Believe me, that one night, I saw a tear in her eye. That tear was her testimony; perhaps a testimony of others. Mom never told me how grandpa died. But Grandma's tear was all I needed to figure it out.
Anyway... I came home at the end of August.... I don't know. Perhaps, I needed to look at my life a little differently. Now instead of why, I ask WHAT! What's gonna happen to all my friends. What's gonna happen to me years from now. Will I have to keep wondering if people will judge me cause I use to live in the projects. What will people say if they see me wearing a suit? And it's not on a Sunday! What will I tell my kids about life in these times? And what about them? Will they be just another face in the crowd? To the world out there.... I'm just a shadow. Even if I were light-skinned, is that STILL too dark for some people?
This is my world... But now my world is back in Mississippi.... still in my grandmother's tear.