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The H.S. Effect Monologue

The H.S. Effect by Sean Ryan
Character: Mr. Sheridan
Gender: Male
Age (range): 36-46
Style: Drama
Length: 3 minutes


Background Info: Mr. Sheridan is a sad-sack teacher who feels he's wasted his life away. This is how he introduces himself to his new class.

Alright, alright, ok, ok, enough already. Sit down. I'm sure you're all just so excited to be back in school and you can't wait to buckle down and get to work. Senior year, its a big moment, an important time in your lives, this is your opportunity to really shine, make something of yourselves, be all you can be and all that other inspirational bullshit.

You know, I look at you, class, and I find myself reminded, of myself at your age. I was a lot like you, and no, this isn't me desperately trying to hang onto my glory days, thank you Mr. Springsteen. In fact, I was a lot more like you than you'd think, or even want to think. I know you don't care about this stuff, I know you think it's a waste of your time, I know I did. But think about this adage, 'Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.' That phrase applies to more than just history, it applies to everything.

I didn't care about logarithms or binomials when I was your age, so I didn't learn them. Now look at me, doomed to teach it to people just like myself for all eternity. So think about that the next time you throw your homework in the trash and pop open a beer. Do you really want to end up like me? Anyways, enough with the heart-to-heart. Don't expect any more of those this year, in fact, expect a pop quiz. Right now. So get out your pencils, this is math class, not Sit-On-My-Ass-And-Stare-Into-Space class.