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Fisher King Monologue

The Fisher King by Richard LaGravenese
Character: Disabled Veteran
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy/Drama
Length: 2 minutes


Disabled Veteran: Well, he's paying so he don't hafta look. Guy goes to work eight hours a day, seven days a week. Gets his nuts so tight in a vice that he starts to question even the very fabric of his existence. Then one day about quitting time, boss calls him in the office and says: "Hey, Bob, why don't you come in here and kiss my ass for me, will ya?" Well, he says "Hell with it. I don't care what happens, I just want to see the expression on his face as I jam this pair of scissors into his arm" Then he thinks of me. He says, "Wait a minute, I got both my arms, both my legs, at least I'm not begging for a living." Sure enough, Bob's going to put those scissors down and pucker right up. Y'see, I'm what you call kinda of a moral traffic light really. I'm like, "RED! Go no further! Boop boop boop boop boop!..."