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Bananas Monologue

Bananas by Woody Allen & Mickey Rose
Character: Fielding Mellish
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Comedy
Length: 2 minutes


Fielding Mellish: I am reminded tonight of the...of the farmer who had incestrious relations with, uh, both his daughters simultaneously.... it's the , it's the wrong crowd for this joke ....Although the United States is, uh, a very rich country and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid. For instance, there, uh, there are locusts, uh, we have more locusts th-than, uh... locusts of all races and creeds. These, these locusts are available at popular prices and, and so by the way are most of the women of San Marcos...uh, uh, despite the size of our nation, people fail to realize that we lead the world in hernias, They also fail to realize that before Columbus discovered your country, he, he, stopped in San Marcos and, uh,contracted a disease which today can be cured with one shot of penicillin,uh,....