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Devils Advocate Monologue

Devils Advocate by Jonathan Lemkin & Tony Gilroy
Character: John Milton
Gender: Male
Age (range): 18 - 55
Style: Drama
Length: 3 minutes


John Milton: Eddie Barzoon! Eddie Barzoon! Ha! I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right? God's special creature? Ha! And I've warned him, Kevin, I've warned him every step of the way. Watching him bounce around like a f#@king game, like a wind-up toy! Like 250 pounds of self-serving greed on wheels! The next thousand years is right around the corner, Kevin, and Eddie Barzoon--take a good look. Because he's the poster child for the next millennium! These people, it's no mystery where they come from. You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it could split atoms with its desire, you build egos the size of cathedrals, fiberopticly connect the world to every-eager-impulse, grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green gold-played fantasies until every human becomes an aspiring emperor! Becomes his own God! Where can you go from there? And as for scrambling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet? As the air thickens, the water sours, even the bees honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity--and it just keeps coming! And it just keeps coming! Faster and faster! There's no chance to think, to prepare, it's `buy futures, sell futures' when there is no future!! We've got a runaway train, boy!! We've got a billion Eddie Barzoons all jogging into the future. Every one of them reading to fist-f#@k God's ex-planet, lick their fingers clean as they reach out with their pristine cybernetic keyboards to total up their billable hours!! And then it hits home! It's a little late in the game to buy out now!! Your belly's too full, your d*ck is sore, your eyes are bloodshot, and you're screaming for someone to help!! But guess what? There's no one there!! You're all alone, Eddie!! You're God's special little creature!!
Maybe it's true. Maybe God threw the dice once too often. Maybe He let us all down.