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Confessions Of a Soap Star Monologue

Confessions Of a Soap Star by M.L. Kingston
Character: Claudia
Gender: Female
Age (range): 18-30
Style: Comedy
Length: 4 minutes


Background Info:Claudia is a spoiled soap star who has no idea what real life is like.

They think they know me; they think they know me so well. I'll pass by a supermarket and be informed of the glamorous weekend that "Claudia" had. Apparently I went to Malibu and got Crazy with all my soap star friends. You know it's a funny thing being informed of the goings on of your weekend while you're out walking your dear little doggie. These sorts of things are ALWAYS happening to me, and I feel so violated by the media. All these lies they write about me in the tabloids, "Claudia just got dumped by her hunky prime time boyfriend." "Claudia got her car impounded because she couldn't bother to park in a normal space." That is why I have decided to set the record straight, right here; right now in front of ALL of you. I am going to let you know the REAL Claudia Picklewink.

First you must know that it is NOT easy being me, I have to look my best at all times, have you any idea how early I must get up so my personal hair and make up crews can make me presentable to society? And people are calling me all time, my assistant tells me all the stories of the calls she's received for me. And it is not easy breaking up with a primetime star boyfriend; yes I broke up with HIM. He didn't break up with me, but he did make the worst mistake ever" He got me Pink roses, PINK. EVERYONE knows RED roses are my favorite not pink. And my car was towed because some jerk moved it, I'm sure it was because they had some sort of extreme hate for me. It's not like I would park in a handicapped space on purpose.

You know I am not a bad person. I am really not, I'm all for that charity, save the world from global warming rah-rah. Like those pedigree commercials about adopting dogs, I did adopt a dog... a miniature Shitzu-poo from Paris, yes my Pookie was flown first class to America for his new home. I gave an animal a home, doesn't that count for something. And my job, it makes such an impact on the world. My character in Broken Times touches the lives of women all over the planet. How many people can say that? What really hurts me is that people call me a spoiled brat. It's not like I had the most lavish up bringing. I had to earn my money; it wasn't just handed to me. My parents gave me a used car for my 16th birthday, and I had to pay for my own prom dress. And people are all like "Did you see that new bag Claudia had, it must have cost a fortune, why isn't she more frugal with her money?" Just because I like quality things does not make me a spoiled brat. It's infuriating. Do you think I'm a spoiled brat? DO YOU? You do don't you. Why am I even pouring my soul out to you? My life is so difficult.