Original Monologue Monologue
|Original Monologue by Kristi Goodwin|
I will never call you my brother again, as long as I live! I will never forget all those nights I laid awake afraid that you're going to sneak in and kill me. You've always told me I'm better off dead. And, if anyone asks about you, I'll tell them how you treated me.
I remember all those days you put your hands around my throat and slid me up the wall. I'll never forget how Mom and Dad never saw it, even if they were home. I'll never forget how hard I cried when you asked me how I wanted to die, or how you had a knife to my throat.
Mom, I blame you! It's all your fault! It's all your fault for denying that he did that! You know he did. You know everything about it. You wouldn't stop it! You knew that I lived in fear, and you didn't do anything about it. You acted as if he was perfect! You knew he wasn't! Dad, why didn't you stop him? I know you tried. You tried to your full potential. Yet, you let Mom stop you. She was crying. I remember. I know I was merely a child. I was only 8 or 9. I remember how you and mom got into a quarrel.
And, I am not afraid of you anymore. Oh, no. Not anymore. Never! Never again will you even be considered my brother! I don't care if you have my last name! I'll never treat you with respect out of fear. I want to treat you how you did me. I definitely won't forget the fights he got you two in! The fights that almost lasted for days, even weeks. I hated the screaming and yelling. Sometimes, it affected me greater than you might think. I even got into self mutilation for a while and watched myself bleed. Over this! Over this pathetic fighting! Walk away, I don't care! I'll show you these scars, and yet...they still mean nothing! I will never forgive any of you, Mom or Dad. I'll never forget the fear I had to live in and how you guys still favored him. How you ignored my pain. Thank you, Mom, thank you, Dad. It only made me stronger.