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Patter for the Floating Lady Monologue

Patter for the Floating Lady by Steve Martin
Character: Angie
Gender: Female
Age (range): 20s-30s
Style: Drama
Length: 3 minutes


Background Info: Angie is the floating lady of the play's title. Her failed relationship with the magician is the subject of the play, and as she's suspended (he thinks by his will, actually by hers) she recounts their relationship. The later entrance of the Assistant, an incantation of the bitter parts of herself, propels the action forward, but at this point she's telling the truth for what may be the first time.

Oh yes, I loved you. So many things. Safety, words exchanged, letters. I would cough and the phone would ring and it would be you, asking if I was all right. You could imitate me and make me laugh. You would buy me a little thing. When I made Spaghetti for you, you were so grateful, Pavarotti himself couldn't have made better Spaghetti. We were at a restaurant and a woman came up to you, flirting and right there in front of her, you laced your fingers between mine, showing her who you loved.

But the most powerful was the tennis shoe. My God, I cried. After our week in the tropics- where we collapsed, ended- a month later, not having spoken, you sent me a tennis shoe. I looked at it for days, not knowing why you sent it. Then one morning, barefoot, not knowing why, I slipped my foot into it. Sand. Grains of sand still in it from seven thousand miles away; each one the size of a memory. I will love you forever for that second. I cried. I cried for us. But when we fell apart, you didn't understand that I would be back. That if you let me have my life, I would be with you forever. But everything you said and did, every touch at night in bed, every kindness, every loving comment had this sentence attached: maybe now she'll love me. And it made you weak. And if I'm not going to love someone strong, why love at all?